It's a long time before he lets me out to make breakfast. He doesn't say anything, just opens the door and walks away, still I wait a minute before getting to my feet. My hair is matted and has clumped together at the ends with dried blood. My face is swollen so I won't be going out for a while and you can most certainly tell I slept in a ball last night.
I shed my rumpled clothes and my muscles burn as I lower myself into the empty bath tub. I let the warm water run and revel in the feel of it massaging my muscles. I wash my hair and allow myself a few more minutes in the water before I climb out and go down stairs to start breakfast.
"I'm going away" I startle at my father's voice and drop the plate in my hand so it clatters to the counter "be careful Madge!"
"Sorry" I mumble, he sighs as if exasperated
"As I was saying. I'm going away for a few days, I have business in the city"
"Okay" away? My father never goes away
"I've asked your aunt Effie to check in on you but you are not to bother her, do you understand?"
"Yes" I agree quickly "how long will you be gone?"
"A week, no more. It's an important trip so I don't expect to be bothered with any of your nonsense"
"Of course not" I agree. I should be excited, a week, I haven't gone a week without fresh bruises ever, as well as i remember anyway. However, change is odd, I've lived the same routine for close to a decade day in day out and anything different has never been good. Nevertheless, for a week the only way my father will be able to reach me is by telegram.
He leaves on a stage coach right after breakfast and for an hour I don't know what to do with myself. I clear away our breakfast dishes, sweep the entirety of the ground floor unnecessarily and even write some music but that only takes up so much time.
I decide if all I have is this week I'm going to make the most of it, so I change my clothes, comb my hair again and tie two strands back with a ribbon then collect the small amount of coins I have hidden in my music box. Before closing it I catch my reflection in the small mirror inside and almost change my mind about leaving the house. The rules are the rules but as of right now there's no one here to enforce them. I cover my bruising cheek in powder and let my hair fall from the ribbon to hide some of the swelling. I almost look normal.
"Madge" Mr. Cartwright frights when he sees me and immediately looks for my father "I mean, my apologies, Miss. Undersee"
"Madge is fine" I can't wipe the smile off my face. I haven't been out on my own since my father took me out of school
"What can I help you with today?" there's still a hint of worry in his tone but he smiles
"I - I don't actually" I hadn't even thought about actually buying anything, I just wanted to leave the house and my legs carried me here "I -" my face burns with embarrassment and Mr. Cartwright gives me a look so pitying I can't help but feel pathetic
"How about some candy? If I remember correctly, strawberry was your favorite?"
"Yes" I say all too eagerly and Mr. Cartwright smiles but the pity is still there
"Here you go"
"Oh" the bag is much too full, I'll only just have enough "I-"
"No need Miss. Undersee" Mr. Cartwright curls my fingers back around the coins
"I couldn't possibly-"
"Please" he cuts me off "give an old man some piece of mind" I have no idea what he means but I can't just take from him "it's just a bit of candy"
"But I-"
"Please" he murmurs again almost desperately
"Thank you Mr. Cartwright, that's very kind"
"You're welcome Madge" this time his smile seems guilty but it's nice to have someone use my name without malice. I'm about to leave when I turn back to him
"If it's not too much trouble ... could you perhaps ... maybe say hello to Delly for me?" he looks as close to tears as I feel
"I'll be sure to tell her"
"Thank you".
I haven't been to the bakery since I was a child and walking past each day smelling the aromas of fresh bread without then eating it is torture to the senses. I savor the experience, first taking my time to look at the finely decorated treats in the window, taking deep breaths as if to store the scent for later. I look past the trays of cookies and rolls to the handsome blonde behind the counter.
Rye Mellark had been my best friend in school, we were inseparable, people used to joke that we'd get married. I hear it's likely he and Delly will when they finish school. Rye is two years older than Delly and I but his younger brother Peeta is our age and just like Rye he was warm and friendly. He didn't have Rye's wickedness but he did have a softness Rye never did. Peeta is just like their father, known for his kindness, even as a small boy he'd go out of his way to try and make someone's day better. The four of us used to follow the eldest Mellark - Bannock around, he's two years older than Rye and four years older than the rest of us but he would always be willing to play with us.
I realize I'm about to cry and look up in an attempt to prevent it only to catch Rye's eyes as he moves biscuits from a tray to a cooling rack. His eyes widen comically when he sees me but then he's grinning, the smile stretching from ear to ear.
I step into the bakery only to have the air knocked out of me as Rye crushes me. I freeze at first, not used to the contact and tears threaten when I realize this is the first nonviolent touch I've felt in years
"Hello" I whisper
"Hello Madge" he sighs, squeezing me tighter
"How are you?"
"C'mon Madge, don't talk like we're strangers, I've missed you" I neglect to tell him that we have in fact become strangers to one another
"I've missed you too" I tell him with a watery smile. He lets me go and pulls out two seats for us behind the counter "you look good"
"Didn't I always?" he grins
"You look older"
"That's what happens Madge, I barely recognized you"
"Please I've hardly changed"
"Are you joking, the last time I saw you, you were chubby and buck toothed and you had all that ratty yellow hair" he teases, pulling a face. I smile at his joke then his tone sours "where have you been Madge?"
"I haven't been anywhere" I mumble though I know I'm not fooling him
"You just disappeared"
"I walk past here every day"
"You know what I'm talking about Madge. We miss you"
"I miss you too" he hugs me again and I sniff because I refuse to cry "I hear you plan to make Delly a Mellark?"
"Darn Madge she's only 14"
"So you don't?" I challenge with raised eyebrows
"Oh I do, just not for a little while at least"
"Good, I'm glad you're happy"
"What about you? Are you happy?" I pale at the thought of answering
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Maybe because when you walk by here every day you look like someone just drowned your puppy"
"I do not!" I know I don't, I always smile, always, I learnt I had to do that years ago
"Not to anyone you didn't used to bathe with but the hours we spent in that tub mean I know you better than you know yourself" I know he's trying to lighten the mood but even he can't bring himself to joke
"I'm fine" I insist, too worried to be embarrassed
"I don't believe you"
"I don't care" Rye opens his mouth to reply but never gets the chance
"Rye, if you're slacking off again Dad is gonna be so peeved" Peeta gapes when he spots me and just like Rye, crushes me into his chest so hard I'm left breathless. I sit with them for most of the day. The looks I get from their customers don't go unnoticed but were to be expected. I never leave the house and if I do it's to go to the store with my father. Rye and Peeta make me promise to come back and I promise them I'll be back every day this week, I don't mention anything after that.
When I get home I feel better than I have in years and it saddens me that eventually things will go back to normal. I play piano until nightfall as usual and again when I open my eyes there's a tear on my cheek and a silhouette crouched on the sill outside my window. I never really thought about checking the window before because I've always thought it was my imagination or something I dreamed up as some form of company. For a while I thought it was my mother's spirit, she always loved to hear me play, not that I was much good before she died.
Tonight however, I do consider going to the window but a loud knock on the door downstairs stops me.
"Hello Dear" I don't see my aunt Effie often, her and my father never really got on as children and only talk now when they have to but as far as I know she's a nice enough woman. She used to send me the most beautiful gifts on my birthdays until my father started sending them back. I remember being told I looked like her and I suppose under her frills and lip paint we probably do bare a resemblance. She and her son Cato are my only living relatives but like I said, I don't see them much. Effie moved out of town before I was born because her pregnancy was some sort of scandal and Cato has been away at boarding school up until a few months ago, I'm not entirely sure we've ever even met
"Aunt Effie, come in"
"First things first, as you probably guessed, this is Cato, your cousin. Cato this is Madge" The man who follows her through the door is not at all what I was expecting. The men in my family have always been short, Cato's father can't have been because the man before me is over six feet tall, he has his mother's blonde hair and blue eyes like me but his facial features are nothing like Effie's soft curved ones. His jaw line and cheek bones are high and square, his nose is perfectly straight and he has a lean athletic build
"It's nice to finally meet you" I say bobbing my head slightly
"Likewise"
"Now I'm sure your father told you we'd be coming by to see you"
"Yes" I nod
"Very good, now the thing is I don't think it's proper or safe to have a young girl like yourself alone in this big old house so I'd be much more comfortable if you'd accept my offer to come and stay with us for a little while"
"Oh I-" I have no idea what to do
"We needn't tell your father Dear" Effie smiles and rubs my arm as if her reading my mind was completely normal
"I'm just not sure I should leave the house completely unoccupied" it's partly true, my father has enough enemies that the opportunity might be too great to pass up
"Well then Cato will stay here with you"
"Wha- I- You'll be on your own" I point out and my Aunt only smiles
"Like I have been for almost 10 years? I'll be dandy, Cato will look after you"
"I - Okay" I nod bewildered
"Fabulous, I'll come back tomorrow for dinner?"
"Okay" I nod again, caught off guard and overwhelmed
"Goodnight darlings" Effie chirps and kisses both our cheeks "look after this dear girl won't you"
"Of course Mom"
"That's my boy, Goodnight now" I watch her leave completely speechless. Effie Trinket - she kept my grandmas maiden name. I suspect my grandfather and she had a similar relationship to the one I have with my father - sure is a one of a kind. I turn to Cato and still have no words, how am I expected to stay alone here with someone I've never even met before
"Sorry" I look up at Cato questioningly "that all happened rather fast didn't it, she's like that sometimes"
"What?" I'm still trying to process what just happened
"She just likes to be in control, I think it's because my dad left"
"It's okay, I just - it did all happen rather fast"
"I'll tell you what, why don't you show me to the kitchen and I'll make us some tea"
"This way".
I sit in the parlor with my tea in my hands and Cato on the leather upholstered couch opposite me
"So I don't know much about you except that you're my cousin and we apparently look alike"
"I guess"
"Let's start easy, how old are you?"
"14"
"Great, I'm 17. Do you have any hobbies?"
"I like music" I answer feebly "piano"
"Really? Wow, my mom always said I should play an instrument I regret not having lessons now" I feel bad that he's trying so hard and I'm not even meeting him half way so I smile and sit up straighter
"I could teach you a little if you'd like" he grins, having gotten a semi enthusiastic response
"I'd like that, what else do you enjoy?" What else is there really? Cooking, cleaning, other basic chores, the daily walk to the general store, I'm a Wiz when it comes to covering up a black eye but that doesn't mean I enjoy it
"I write music too"
"Are you any good?" I shrug
"What about you?"
"Well I've been at school in the city for the last five years so anything home related, I really missed my mom, don't repeat that" I laugh a little bit with him "and I'm really looking forward to getting to know you, I don't really have any other family"
"Me either"
"So it's just us then?"
"I can't promise I'm going to be much fun"
"Nonsense, we'll have a riot, just call me Crazy Cousin Cato" I laugh at his hand gestures and the face he pulls
"And you can call me Mad Madge"
"See we already have nicknames, now what d'you say you give me my first piano lesson?"
"It's a little late"
"That's true ... but we're the only one's here".
An hour later my sides hurt I'm laughing so much. It's safe to say Cato doesn't exactly have a natural gift with piano
"Why are you laughing? That was right" Cato asks struggling to hold back his own laughter
"I promise you it wasn't"
"You sai E, that's what I did"
"Then why does it sound lik D"
"I don't know maybe your piano needs tuning, it sounds just fine to me"
"My piano is just fine and if anything needs tuning it's your ears"
"I'll call it quits for now then, you should probably get some sleep"
"Sure, I'll show you to your room" we have four guest bedrooms that have never been used and I show Cato to the one with the biggest bed "they aren't used very often, or ever so I'll have to get you some bedding but there's a wash room just through there"
"Thank you"
"I'll get you some pillows"
"That's okay I'll do it"
"I'll get the pillows, there are blankets in the linen closet by my room" I tell him. When I return with pillows from one of the other guest rooms Cato is crouched down in front of the linen closet "are you okay?" I make my way to Cato and follow his gaze to the red patch of carpet where I slept just last night. I drop the pillows and the warming pan I'd collected for him when he looks up at me
"Is that blood?".