Chapter Eleven

A Star, You Think?

"Sirius?"

My eyes fluttered open afterwards, and I stared blankly ahead, woken by the sound of my own voice. My mind was heavy and the light stabbed at my raw eyes. I flinched beneath its ferocity, letting a groan escape my parched lips. I shifted myself into something more like a sitting position, which proved difficult as half of my body felt dead numb. I searched around for something familiar, but I was squinting beneath the light and could only make out a head of blazing red hair, face concealed by a book.

"Lily?"

She jolted a bit in her seat, dropping her book in her lap. "Gracie!" she squeaked, rushing over and sitting herself by my feet. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," I answered, but my voice was hoarse and cracked painfully, saying quite clearly otherwise.

Lily summoned a glass, pointed her wand and filled it with water, and handed it to me. I wondered absentmindedly if I would have even thought of that, but the thought slipped my mind as I took the glass from her and downed it with loud, gracious gulps. I put the glass down and gasped for air. My mind was slowing kicking back into gear, though very slowly at that.

"Did I say 'Sirius' when I woke up, or was that you?"

Lily leaned back on her palms nonchalantly. "You. You've been asking about him since yesterday; I almost stopped noticing."

"About Sirius? Since yesterday? What do you—" It seemed a little ridiculous, but it was only then that I noticed that the bed I was in was not my cozy, warm bed back in my dorm, but a stiff cot in the Hospital Wing. The night flashed before my eyes and my heart sped uncomfortably. "Oh, God! Mary! How is—"

"Shh," Lily said suddenly, placing her hand on mine. "You're still recovering. Calm down before you hurt yourself. Mary's fine. She just had a broken rib and a few bruises, but Madam Pomfrey fixed her up in a minute. Magical, I tell you." She gave a little teasing smile but I could hardly be reassured.

"And what about—"

"Yes, yes, Sirius, I know by now," she said, sighing, though still visibly amused by my concern. She glanced over her shoulder and I followed her gaze towards a cot across from mine, where a limp figure resided. "He's going to be okay, too. Major burns, scary almost... but it shouldn't scar, at least, not too much. He just, ah... well, it was mostly his arms and chest, and some of his hair."

I rubbed my chin frantically and bit my knuckle to force myself to calm down. "I kept asking about him?"

"You don't remember?"

I shook my head slowly, still gazing at Sirius's sleeping figure.

"Kenneth came to see you," Lily said.

My eyes darted back to her.

"You woke up and asked him if Sirius was okay."

I groaned, suddenly defensive and reproachful. "That's not even fair. I don't even remember that."

She shrugged. "He didn't really mind. Not too much, at least."

I sunk a little in my bed. "How did I get here, anyways? Who found us?"

"Apparently, the portraits woke up to screaming," Lily said, her pitch descending considerably. "Filch went nutters about students in the corridors, and got Dumbledore. And then, well, they found you three."

"Three? What about Avery and Mulciber?"

"Mary told him what happened, but they weren't there when Dumbledore got there, so for now, the teachers are saying there's not enough proof—"

"No proof?" I suddenly couldn't breathe. My throat burned with anger and my head pounded. "I'm in the damn Hospital Wing, for Merlin's sake!"

Lily hushed me immediately. "Shh, Gracie. You're not in any kind of condition to be getting so worked up. Madam Pomfrey told me that the curse just hardly missed your jugular vein."

"My what?"

"In your neck. In other words," Lily said, face solemn, "if it had hit the vein, you could very well be dead right now."

I stared at my hands, letting silence fall over the two of us for a moment. "Sirius stunned Avery," I said, and raised my fingers gently to my throat. "And he fell back. He didn't have a good shot of my... throat then." I felt the raised skin along my neck; it was ridged like a scar, but it stung at my touch and I winced. "That's not enough proof?"

Lily let out a little breath. "Some of the teachers think that one of you attacked the other two."

"What?"

"Yeah, you'll... probably need to see McGonagall when you're better."

"But, Lily! That's idiotic! How thick do they get? I wouldn't—Sirius wouldn't—" But the words I wanted to say couldn't find their way to my mouth, and the image of Sirius in flames sent furious and fearful trembles down my spine.

"No, I believe you," Lily assured, "and so do the other students. Well, except the Slytherins, of course, but they don't count. It's just... Gracie, you were the only ones there."

"This can't be happening. You have to be kidding."

"I don't know, Gracie. You should sleep—"

"Avery and Mulciber aren't even going to be punished?" I cried.

"I...maybe. Gracie, sleep, before you hurt yourself. Madam Pomfrey said that the area is going to take longer to heal magically because it's in a tender spot. You need sleep... you've been through a lot. Okay?"

I felt like sobbing or vomiting or dying or screaming, or something of similar consequence, but I bit my lips together instead. I took a hard look at Lily and then at Sirius, and let myself fall back under the sheets in defeat.

Remus slipped me a smile, and I managed to give him something of a smile in return before I nose-dived back into my textbook. There was a clatter of noise around me, but it didn't affect me; I could finally focus. I was desperate for a distraction from my thoughts, and studying seemed to be a good fix.

Remus had been all too friendly lately, though, and I was beginning to feel guilty for disregarding his attempts to cheer me up all day.

I just had absolutely no energy. It had nothing to do with sleep; I'd gotten plenty of that in the Hospital Wing, and probably wouldn't need to sleep for months with all the rest I'd caught up on.

No, I was just worried. Worrying incessantly, needlessly, as Lily was keen to remind me, and I was unable to maintain a smile because it was too much effort. My worry was draining all my emotion.

"Gracie?"

I raised my eyes, albeit grudgingly.

"I know that you're not really—" Remus stopped, pressed his lips into a firm line, and started over. "I don't want to push you or anything, but do you think you could chop the aconite? You're loads better at chopping, I always end up slicing my hands—"

My face flushed, and I threw my book down. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Remus," I muttered quickly, getting up from my seat. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I ask to be your partner and then I let you do everything." I frowned, eyeing the materials. "You want me to chop the aconite?"

He slid the board towards me. "Please," he said, eyes gentle.

I nodded, taking a deep breath, and took the blade to the board, working away at the aconite. We worked in silence, aside from the sound of the bubbling potion and the knife slicing through the aconite leaves.

"You know," Remus started softly, and I handed him the leaves to drop into the potion, "Sirius is going to be fine. He'll be back tomorrow."

I kept my eyes lowered to my task. "I know. Madam Pomfrey told me."

"Why don't you go see him later tonight? Since you're so worried."

I passed more leaves to him, and he stirred them into the cauldron, gaze set on me. He was becoming adamant to get me out of my mood, and I found that I couldn't look away this time.

I blew out a breath, setting the blade down on the table. "I could."

"You could bring him pretty flowers. Pink."

"Remus," I laughed.

"Yes! Progress," he cheered, bumping my shoulder with his fist.

I gave him a real smile then, shaking my head, and took the blade back to finish chopping the aconite. Peter scurried over to us, flustered and ranting on about Lucy O'Daley, and Remus proceeded to poke fun at him, asking why he didn't just get down on his knees and propose already.

My mind wandered from their conversation and my eyes roamed the classroom aimlessly, where I caught Kenneth's gaze from the opposite side of the room.

My stomach did a funny kind of flip and I quickly averted my gaze, fumbling about with my textbook desperately so that I could pretend as if I was occupied and could be doing anything, anything at all, other than smiling or even in the very least acknowledging Kenneth Howell's existence.

It was certainly far too late to be wandering about, but I'd had 5 inches of a Transfiguration essay left to write and Peter had begged me to help him with his own. I'd only just managed to wiggle free from his grasp and it was well past curfew. My body seemed to remind me that I'd been in a similar situation only a few nights before; the dark corridors were all too familiar, all too daunting, and on top of that, no matter how hard I attempted to push myself, my legs were exhausted and longed for the bed I'd spent two days in prior.

But none of that mattered because I was going mad without Sirius and I was going to see him, whether my bloody legs liked it or not.

I pushed my way through the doors, eyes darting about for Sirius's cot, and I stopped in my tracks as I found that there was someone already beside him. The person turned at my entrance, and I had half a mind to wonder if it was Madam Pomfrey and if she was about to scold me for sneaking out, but it was a boy.

I met his fleeting gaze, and he seemed to spring upwards, gathering himself together and started as if he was to leave.

"No, I didn't mean to kick you out," I said hurriedly, positively swimming in confusion, but the boy only shook his head, and made his way past me. "Wait! But—"

The boy turned back, returning a hard gaze, and I went still.

For a moment, I could have sworn it was Sirius.

"Regulus?"

His eyes wavered, and he moved his head slightly, a nod. "Grace."

I'd hardly ever spoken to Sirius about his brother, and I'd spoken to his brother even less than that. I vaguely remembered a conversation we'd had sometime in second year, when Sirius had something of a relationship with him still.

"How are you?" I blurted out, unable to contain myself. Even though Sirius and I tended to stray from the topic, I knew from Lily that Sirius had left home last year, and Regulus was alone then with his blood-crazed parents.

"I'm fine. How are you?" he asked in return, voice stiff as a board with politeness. "I heard about the accident."

I nearly scoffed—accident, they were calling it now?—but I was too caught up in the oddness of the current situation to mind.

"Better," I decided, ringing my hands together. "You should stay—until Sirius is awake. I'm sure he'll wake up soon."

Regulus shook his head fervently, turning from me slightly. "Probably best I didn't."

I stared, mouth falling open, but I couldn't find the words I needed to convince him. "Are you sure?"

He nodded.

I settled for, "I'll tell him you came by."

He swished his head side to side. "Probably best you didn't."

"But, Regulus, he'd want to know—"

"Goodnight, Grace."

Any arguments or protests I could have summoned were suddenly useless. He turned and left, leaving me standing there, mind blank. The doors slammed shut behind him, driving an echo through the room.

I blinked quickly, swiveling in my spot, and cautiously glimpsed towards the spot where Sirius lay. Bright, grey eyes shone through the darkness, closing and opening frantically.

"Gracie?"

Warmth spread throughout my chest at the sound of his voice, and Regulus fell from my mind. I dashed over to his side, my mind a sudden blur. The ache in my body had vanished, and was replaced with a hot, overwhelming pulse.

"Sirius!"

And I couldn't control myself. I flung my arms around his neck, pressed my face into his robes, and cried. Bittersweet tears burned my eyes.

"Gracie? Merlin, what's the matter? I reckoned it was about time you couldn't hide your insanity any longer, but I didn't expect you'd be releasing the Atlantic Ocean on me while at it..."

"Shut up," I murmured, picking myself up, and wiped my face on my sleeve. "You bloody git! L-look at you! You're..." I took his hand, scrutinizing it, then breathed out heavily and dropped it. "Well, you're better now. But that's not the point! You were—"

He re-positioned himself in his cot, raising himself higher. "A star, you think?"

I rubbed my eyes. "What?"

"I was a star," he repeated, raising his arms dramatically. "Brilliant, beautiful! Radiant!"

He was referencing being on fire, of course, and I nearly choked.

"Well," Sirius said, sighing, "it's about time I lived up to my name. I wasn't named after the brightest star in Canis Major for nothing, you know."

I cursed at him under my breath, and he snickered.

"Wait." He sobered instantly. "Let me see you."

I raised my eyebrows.

He gestured for me to move closer, and so I did so; his eyes traced my face, and he ran a finger over the gash on my cheek. "Does that hurt still?"

I shook my head. I'd nearly forgotten it was there. It was only when I looked in the mirror and found a war-beaten witch staring back at me that I remembered. Well, perhaps it wasn't that bad, but it certainly wasn't pretty.

His gaze lowered to my neck, and he tensed. "What about that?"

"A bit," I admitted, and shrugged. "Not as bad as your burns."

"Can't feel a thing, actually."

I laughed. "That's because you haven't tried to move yet."

He fell back onto his pillow. "I'll survive."

"You better," I told him. "Or I'll kill you."

He growled at me, and I growled back. He repeated the growl, hiding low, guttural sounds, and barred his teeth like a dog. I smacked him on the shoulder, and he howled in pain. I apologized immediately but he was all howls, barks, and growls, and the scene was so ridiculous that I couldn't restrain my eruption of laughter. Every attempt to cut him off, he'd grow louder, until I had to threaten to silencio him before Madam Pomfrey came out and got onto my case for being out after curfew.

"I'll just hide you if she comes, then," he decided aloud, and shifted over in his spot to make room for me. He pat the empty spot beside him and I wiggled my way in without questioning it.

I definitely was not cuddling him, though we were fairly close, but I made a point to put some feasible distance between us that indicated friendliness. At least, I convinced myself that was what it was, and Sirius continued to talk as if it hadn't affected him at all.

We spoke aimlessly in soft whispers, staring up at the tall ceiling, for Merlin knows how long. The conversation likely didn't make much sense, and with the state of our minds, I didn't really think twice about it.

"You know there's another Quidditch game coming up?" Sirius said out of nowhere, certainly straying from the topic we were on, whatever that might have been.

I hummed a noise of surprise. "Who's playing?"

"Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. You reckon Kenny will get lucky again?"

"Kenny?"

"What? You don't like it?"

"You're a dudder," I muttered in exhaustion.

"I thought it was quite an endearing nickname for the bloke."

I snorted. "Oh, certainly."

"You think he'll like it?"

"Doubt it."

"Oh," Sirius said, and I glanced over at him as he frowned with feigned disappointment.

I rolled my eyes, turning away. "Dudder, I tell you."

"I'll help you with your costume," Sirius offered.

"Costume? Sirius, honestly, what are you going on about? Was your mind affected?"

"I'll help you dress up as an eagle, so you can fit in at the Ravenclaw match. You'll look marvelous, I assure you."

I groaned.

"Kenny will love it!" he exclaimed, and I shoved him in the side.

"I quite honestly don't want to think about Kenny at the moment," I sighed, burying my face in Sirius's pillow.

"Why not?"

I shrugged, rolling on my side to face him. "I just don't really care to see him. He tried talking to me after Potions..." I trailed off at the memory.

"What happened? Did he upset you? Should I hex him for you?"

"Don't sound so eager," I mumbled, though without force. Sleep was trickling into my voice. "I just told him I had to get to class, and I ran off."

"Oh. I was imagining something a bit worse."

"Well." My cheeks flushed. "I really...literally...ran."

"You ran?"

I ground my teeth together. "I really didn't want to talk."

Sirius laid still for a moment as if processing the image in his mind, and then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably for far too long.

I exhaled loudly and he hiccupped broken breaths to calm himself from his hysterics.

"He's probably not cut out for you, anyways," Sirius said, finally sobering.

"What do you mean?"

"Not the best match for you. I mean, really," he said emphatically, "if you were with Kenny all the time, you'd never have time for your best mate! And where would you be without me?"

"Probably sane, at least," I muttered, and even in my drowsiness, I felt something sharp in my chest at his words. I didn't care to attend to what it might have been, and instead pulled at Sirius's hair, tugging at the shortened ends. Madam Pomfrey had trimmed the singed bits, and he'd lost a good two or three inches.

His expression fell. "I know," he moaned. "It's so short. I can't believe it. I don't know what I'm going to do."

I couldn't see it very well in the dark, but I couldn't imagine that it looked too terrible. "Sleep," I suggested. "That's what you should do."

I reckoned we were both fairly deranged at that point, and Sirius complied with my suggestion without a single protest. It was if I'd hit a switch; he nodded his head and curled up, tucking his arms under his head, closed his eyes, and his breathing soon fell into a steady, soft pattern.

I lay there for a few more moments, waiting to make sure that he was really asleep, and moved to roll out of his cot. I stood and straightened my robes, letting a little yawn escape my lips, and stretched my arms over my head.

The room was so calm, with the moonlight spilling in through the windows and the sound of Sirius's breathing, pneumatic and gentle like air. I couldn't help but feel content and overwhelmingly grateful, so overwhelming, in fact, that I leaned down and kissed him on the forehead without a thought.

Love does not die easily. It is a living thing. It thrives in the face of all of life's hazards, save one: neglect. -Andrew Carnegie

A/N: Muchas gracias for reading, lovelies! I'm getting into a fairly regular pattern of an update every weekend, I think. I'll try to have out a new chapter every Sunday, at least. Try. You never know when it comes to things like this.
Anyways, this chapter just including some major things I needed to address, like Regulus's existence. I think people forget about him a lot in their stories, and I felt the need to at least include him once. I haven't decided if he'll ever show up again. And, also, Gracie's friendship with Remus is pretty important - especially for future chapters, though I think those are probably pretty far out of the way.
And that's about it. Thank you again and feel free to leave a review... poor little Sirius is feeling deprived.