I'm in the saloon, it's early, no customers so I'm sat at the bar in my chair while Thom and Finnick bicker about which of Haymitch's whiskeys is best. Thom is arguing that it's an unnamed bottle in Haymitch's secret stash when my gaze falls upon the piano at the far end of the room. My fingers itch at the temptation now that I have more mobility in them but I feel like I wouldn't even know where to start, as though all memory of how to play real music has left me.
"Go on" Finnick startles me "give us a tune"
"I'm not sure I can" I admit "my hands" I hold them up as evidence and he shakes his head
"Nonsense" he grins mischievously, moving around the bar and taking ahold of my chair "we haven't got any decent sheet music, just the stuff the girls dance to"
"I played what I had so much I didn't need the sheet music. I taught myself to play by ear"
"Go on Madge, show us what you've got" Thom encourages as Finnick pushes my chair closer to the piano.
I lift my hands to the keys cautiously and produce a strong crisp sound that resonates across the room. I do some runs and then chords, both hands protest but I play through it and then like no time at all has passed I fall into an intricate piece that I practiced for months before I got it right. And it comes easily, my fingers ache as they become accustomed to their old position but it's familiar, it's known. I haven't attempted an actual piece of music since before Gale took me to the lake for the first time but now I feel like I'll never want to stop.
Not all is lost, it would seem. I had thought my piano playing days were a thing of the past but as I navigate one of the most difficult pieces I own I begin to feel jovial. I never had much but I had the piano and the fact I haven't had to lose it is, by my count, a victory of epic proportions.
I play everything I can remember and then I play some of them again, only stopping when the tears I didn't realize were forming start to fall. I take my hands from the ivory and I grin at them, grin like a mad woman to raucous applause.
My small audience of Finnick and Thom has grown and now includes most of the other residents and they're taking as much pleasure from it as I am
"I can still play" I laugh through my tears, disbelieving of it "my hands still work and maybe my legs will too" Thom is the first to reach me and takes one of my hands
"Think we could make money off these things?" he snickers giving my knuckle a sloppy kiss and ruffling my hair like a pup
"You'll have to play for us all the time Madge" Glimmer hugs my shoulders "that was delightful"
"Come on Madge, us ladies are going for a walk before all manner of miscreant start pouring through those doors. Will you take song requests?"
Annie pushes my chair while the other girls walk either side of us. Cashmere is teasing Levy about Cato and Johanna is muttering to herself about a customer who insulted her. I'm happy just to listen but my focus keeps getting drawn to Katniss, who doesn't seem to belong. She doesn't laugh when the other girls do and she winces every time any of them make reference to the services they provide at the saloon.
"She'll soon change her tune when someone catches her eye" Johanna laughs boisterously "in fact I rather think someone already has" Katniss shoots her a dirty look but otherwise does not retaliate "I bet he could do things with those bread kneading hands of his. Typical isn't it, three strapping young brothers but none of them show any interest in this place until Madge shows up"
"The Mellark's?" I exclaim "Katniss?"
"It's nothing" she mutters
"Nothing?!" Johanna speaks up again "she actually smiled at him yesterday when he left after bringing you cookies" not wanting to encourage Johanna's ribbing I stay quiet but my interest is piqued
"Oh my heavens" Cashmere bursts "we could have a dance, each of us could invite our sweethearts or intended sweethearts. We could make it so romantic and Haymitch wouldn't mind as long as folk were buying from him"
"We could do a picnic in the pasture with Finnicks pies and we could ask the Mellarks to bring pastries, each of us could make something".
It doesn't take long for their excitement to infect everyone else and even Katniss is plotting on how to get Haymitch and Hazelle on board as we return to the saloon.
Surprisingly it's Hazelle who puts up the most fight but once the little Hawthorne's get wind of it her resolve crumbles. I begin to feel a little sorry for myself, resigned to the idea I'll probably have to sit in a window and watch the festivities but at least I can get involved in the preparation.
I become Finnick's official pie filling taster which is fabulous and Thom and Haymitch teach me how to make their very popular moonshine. In between helping the ladies pick dresses I go to the lake with Gale and we don't return until I've managed to stand upright, each time he gets me to try in shallower water and so far my strength is returning at a decent rate. With the dance in mind I get bolder and attempt to walk but manage barely one step before my legs betray me
"Steady, what's the rush?" Gale catches me, his reflexes being the only reason my face isn't buried in the mud
"Don't you think I ought to be walking by now?"
"These things take time, you can't rush it"
"Why not? Why shouldn't I be able to do things on my terms. I won't be told no anymore. Not by you, by Evelyn, my father and certainly not by my own legs. I want to stand and walk and I want to dance like everyone else" all my anger leaves me as quickly as it came and I feel wetness building in my eyes and Gale's cool skin against mine as he hugs me "I'm sorry" I mumble against him
"Look at me" he commands and when I pull my head back and look up at him, his face is serious "you never apologize to me" his gaze is penetrating, so much so, I have to look away "you hear me miss Undersee? You don't ever say sorry for fighting, for saying how you feel. Don't ever say sorry to me for wanting to take something back"
"Thank you for being patient with me"
"I told you, whatever it takes to get you where you want to be. Now, let's get you upright".