Chapter Twenty

And the Truth Arrives

I wove my arms through Remus's sweater, wrapping myself in the fabric to ward off the cold. He'd given it to me a few nights before in the Hospital Wing when I'd gone to Madam Pomfrey's and it'd been immobilizingly cold. He said it was like that a lot during the nights and offered me his sweater, and I'd meant to return it to him this morning, but I couldn't spot him in the History of Magic classroom.

Lily was sitting alone, peering with concentration at a textbook in front of her. I walked over to her. "Hey, do you know where Remus is?"

"He's sick," Lily answered automatically, not even glancing up. The desk next to her that James normally occupied was empty, and I glanced around the room slowly for Sirius and Peter. They were all gone.

"Is James coming to class?"

"No." Lily flipped a page in her book idly then looked up to me. "They're all with Remus. Sick. You know."

I guess I did know. I hadn't been paying attention to the sky lately, but Remus was often "sick," which had become code for full moon.

"Can I sit with you then?"

"Sure." She pulled her knapsack onto her own desk top and cleared the seat for me. "How are you feeling?"

"Better. Madam Pomfrey fixed me up pretty well." I sat down beside her, and Lily glanced at my wrist. I rotated it in a circle to show her it was fine.

"Your face looks better," she commented.

The bruise had healed considerably on my lip where Avery had punched me, and the cut on my forehead where I'd hit the portrait was nearly invisible. Nothing really hurt, except sometimes there was a sharp stitch in my side when I inhaled too deeply, but other than that, everything was fine.

Lily closed her book. "What did Dumbledore say?"

Remus had brought him to the Hospital Wing after Madam Pomfrey had fixed up my wrist and given me a tissue regenerating potion. I'd told Dumbledore about what had happened and we talked about the war. About You-Know-Who, about his followers, about what was going to happen. It'd been terrifying and overwhelming and the biggest headache, all very hard to take in, considering the situation.

He told Sirius, Remus, and me about the way things were looking—the disappearances with the muggles, muggleborns, even the halfbloods and some purebloods—and they weren't looking very good. You-Know-Who's forces were gaining more power by the day. He mentioned briefly an order, something he called the Order of the Phoenix, that was meant to combat these forces. He didn't say much about it, but when Sirius started getting excited about joining and "defending the wizarding world," (he was like a kid sometimes, honestly) Dumbledore said he'd only allow us to join when we'd graduated, despite the fact that we were all legally adults. It was more important that we finish our education before we got too involved in the worldly events, he said. Our education was the best training we could get for the war.

I told Lily all of this and then stirred my quill in the inkwell. "He said he'd be speaking to Avery and Mulciber and they would be dealt with accordingly. I don't know what will happen. Sirius said they'll probably be expelled this time. They were definitely using dark magic at the Quidditch game."

She bit down on her bottom lip thoughtfully, glancing off to the floor.

We spoke off and on throughout class, but for the most part, we spoke of the History lesson and what we needed to know for the homework that night. It was just typical chit-chat and strayed from the more serious war-talk.

"Good work, Miss Hachette. You can go back to your common room now. This was your last detention, wasn't it? I can't even remember how long you and Black were supposed to have detention." Professor Slughorn looked up at me from his desk. I was shivering in my robes from the cold that still nestled in my bones. The last day to shovel that damn snow. I was suddenly grateful I hadn't seen Remus to give him back his sweater.

"This was the last day, I think," I answered, drawing my cloak tightly around my waist.

"All right, good night then. I'll leave a note for Filch saying you served all of your detentions, just one moment…" He turned in his chair and summoned a spare piece of parchment.

The door burst open loudly, and I jumped at the sound of the door slamming against the wall and shaking the frames on the wall.

Sirius stood in the doorway, smiling guiltily. "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to open it so quickly."

"Mister Black." Slughorn peered from over his glasses. "You're late. You've missed the entire detention."

"Oh, well, I have a pass from Madam Pomfrey." He strode up to the desk casually, a hand in one pocket and a pink slip in the other. He slid it across the surface to Slughorn. "She said it was all right if I missed detention for today?"

Slughorn eyed the pass, looking skeptical. "Well, it was your last detention, I'm sure you're aware."

"Yes, sir. That wasn't intentional, though. Just felt a little bit under the weather."

"Did you attend classes today?"

"No, sir."

"Well, it says that on this slip, I suppose. All right then, I was just telling Hachette that you won't be required to attend any more detentions. You're free to leave now, both of you."

"Thank you, sir," I said politely, bouncing on the tips of my toes cheerily. "Goodnight, professor!"

"Goodnight. Get to bed now. Go straight to your common room. No shortcuts or longcuts. Nothing. Straight away."

"Yes, sir."

And with that, Sirius and I left the office, straight away, as we were told.

The walk was mostly in silence, which normally wasn't too peculiar, but this felt strange. I glanced over at him, but found that really didn't do me much good; the dim light of the hallway shrouded most of his features.

"Is Remus all right?"

"Yeah, he's fine now," Sirius said. His voice was quiet, dimmed like the lights, and it concerned me.

"Why'd you miss your classes today?"

"Because I wasn't feeling well," he answered simply, almost dismissive.

"Really?"

We arrived in front of the Fat Lady. "What are you two doing out so late? You've got a curfew, you know, and sneaking about is certainly not proper behavior for two young teenagers—"

Sirius stated the password as if he hadn't heard the portrait say anything at all. "Chizpurfle."

"It is very improper, and you should know it, too! I'm sure your parents would have an earful for the both of you. Shameful acts are nothing but shameful, you know…"

"Chizpurfle," he repeated with less patience.

"Fine, fine, but if you're sneaking out anymore, you'll be hearing from me!" I had to restrain myself from rolling my eyes. Yes, of course we would, because she was a lady in a portrait that could really stop us from doing anything. Besides, she was a figment of creation and didn't retain any information for long periods of time.

The Fat Lady grudgingly swung open and allowed us into the depths of the warm Gryffindor common room. I let out a sigh of relief and loosened my cloak from around my waist. The room was empty, which meant that it was very late.

"You're lucky you got to miss detention today. It was cold."

"Isn't it always?"

"It was unbearable today." I shivered on cue and took another breath.

"Well, go to sleep, you'll feel better."

I turned and looked at him, raising a brow curiously. This time I was able to read his more clearly in the brighter light and I nearly gasped at what I saw.

"Sirius! What happened to you?"

"I'm fine."

Which he obviously was, because after all, he'd spent a day in the Hospital Wing, and Madam Pomfrey knew some breathtaking magic. But it was still shocking nonetheless. There was a nasty looking gash on his cheek, and another low on his collarbone. I suspected there were more, but his robes covered the rest of his skin and I couldn't see anything else.

"What happened?" He didn't answer. "Sirius. Come on."

"Nothing," he sighed irritably and rubbed his forehead. "Remus just forgot to take his potion the night before and things got a little out of hand. But it's not the first time that's ever happened and we don't transfigure into animals just for fun." He looked at me sternly, trying to drill in the point. But the longer we held the gaze, the less serious he got, and eventually a familiar smile flicked across his features. "I mean, well, I can't say that we don't have fun with it. Sometimes me and James like to mess with Remus and he goes a little crazy. Chases us around a bit."

"Sirius! That's so irresponsible!"

"What?" He shrugged. "It's fun. He doesn't hurt us too often."

"I know it's Remus, and I love the boy to death, but he's dangerous at full moon, Sirius, you know that, and you could get yourself killed if you just fool around all the time! Hell, look at you!"

"Gracie, honestly. I can take care of myself."

"Obviously not!" I was fuming and I couldn't contain myself. I wanted to shut up but I just kept going. I tried biting my tongue to stop the flow of words, but the pain only made me angrier.

"Why do you care? It doesn't matter. Just let it alone." He backed up as if he wanted to bolt off.

"How do you think it makes me feel to see you like this, Sirius?" I snapped.

"Look at you! You're being a hypocrite! I had to practically carry you all the way to the Hospital Wing the other night, Gracie! Do you think I enjoyed that? I don't want to see you hurt, either. It makes me sick to my stomach and I feel like murdering bloody Avery and Mulciber, but I wasn't scolding you because someone attacked you!"

I pressed my lips together, trying to brace myself, try to pull myself together, but my emotions were bouncing off all the walls and I couldn't keep still.

"I'm going to sleep," he said bitterly. "Goodnight."

No, I wanted to say, there was nothing good about that, but I finally managed to hold my tongue and watched in silence as he stalked off for the stairs.

I suddenly felt very drained. It was like a giant rope had tied itself around my heart and was pulling me down, through the ground, and I was just falling helplessly, unable to cry or scream or do anything to stop it. My heart was hammering and screaming, but it was caged in my chest and the world was oblivious.

"Sirius," I said suddenly, willing the awful feeling away. I ran after him, up the stairs and right in step after him. I thanked Godric Gryffindor that the boys' stairs didn't morph into slides when the opposite gender tried to climb them, unlike the girls' stairs. Under normal circumstances, I might have argued how sexist the entire notion was, but I barely had time to form a coherent thought.

Sirius turned, and if he was surprised I'd called after him, he didn't look it.

"Sirius, I'm sorry." I was breathless and probably looked like a moron, but I couldn't let him go to bed on that note. "I'm sorry. You're right. I know that you can take care of yourself. And even if your stupid joking around bothers me to no end, I know you don't mean harm by it. And even if it tears you up a bit sometimes, I know that you'll be okay, because you're smart, and you're brave, and you take care of yourself and your friends. And Remus, I don't know what he'd do without you. He's lucky to have you, and I'm sorry for getting mad at you." I looked at him, waiting for the next part to fall from my mouth, but I couldn't mouth the words. I squinted my eyes for a short second and then opened them. "I just care about you and I'm a little sensitive. I don't want you to hurt yourself. It hurts me. You know? That's normal, isn't it? I'm not mental, am I?"

Sirius, frankly, looked a little bewildered, but I couldn't blame him. I'd just unleashed a tidal wave onto him and it was far too late into the night to be having such a sentimental confession. But what could I do? I'd already thrown myself in the ditch, I might as well try to climb myself out.

"Well." He smiled, and my chest felt warm. "Perhaps you are mental, but that's certainly not news."

I wrung my hands together uncertainly. "Will you forgive me for scolding you like a child?"

He moved down a step so that we were standing directly in front of each other, and gave me a little nod of his head. "I didn't mind taking you to the Hospital Wing, either, just so you know. Though I do want to murder Avery and Mulciber. I really mean that."

I frowned. "But I'm okay."

"And so am I. Let's just forget about it all, yeah? We're fine. Because we're strong and muscular and we could take on a whole city of heliopaths if we needed to." He nudged my arm playfully.

"What's a heliopath?"

"I dunno really. Fiery thing? Doesn't matter. You get the point."

"Okay." And I let myself smile, feeling a temporary calm settle over me. "Well, I guess I should go to bed now. Night, Sirius."

I was going to force myself to walk back down the stairs and go to my dormitory, but the look on his face held something incredibly foreign, something I couldn't quite decipher, almost like there was something more that needed to be said.

Maybe not said.

And maybe we were physically closer than we were before. Or maybe I just hadn't realized. Or maybe we weren't very close at all, and I was just getting delirious from exhaustion…

Definitely delirious, I decided, because my train of thought was getting frightening. I could hardly even hear it now. It was derailing. I was going to crash and burn if it kept leading me like this.

"Sirius?"

That same signature smile twitched at his lips, just a hint of mirth that I could never have seen if I hadn't been so drawn into him at that moment. Everything was slow, and every sound was so much louder. Everything was magnified, and more intense, and more real and overwhelming and frightening and powerful, and I was just going to drown in this rush and nothing was even happening at all.

"Gracie," Sirius said, and something flipped inside of me, a twitch of energy that shook me from the core.

That one little word, just my name, that was all I needed.

All I needed.

I took advantage of our proximity and brought myself close to him, no, closer, more like, and met my mouth with his.

I kissed him.

My blood rushed through my ears and it was so surreal and insane. I felt like I was possessed by the way I'd just moved to him. It was only a few more moments of that blood rushing through my ears that I realized what I was doing and snapped myself away.

Oh dear Merlin.

That did not happen.

I was seeing things. Or dreaming. Sleep-walking, maybe. Or hallucinating. Dying. That was it. Didn't you do the craziest things when you were dying? No, actually, I'd never heard that, I'd just made it up. Perhaps I needed to see Madam Pomfrey. Maybe that potion she gave me had some nasty side effects. I'd go see her. Right now, I told myself, and turned on my heel as fast as I could to get away.

But a hand latched around my wrist and spun me back around, throwing my escape attempts to the dust.

"Hey, that was a bit of a tease," Sirius murmured.

We were just staring at each other, his face glowing with that playfulness I was so greatly lacking, an expression that tore me in two. I didn't know what to feel, and everything was happening so fast, and he should not have been looking at me like that! He had provoked all of this! It was his fault! Oh, Merlin, could you just shoot something at me from the sky? Right now would be good.

But Sirius pulled me back to him and I told Merlin never mind, right now wouldn't be good, but could you wait around for later? I might need you then, I told him, because I was bound to screw something else up.

Sirius's fingers brushing against my cheek silenced all my thoughts. He returned his lips to mine, like it was where they belonged.

I was still and dumb for what felt like eternity until my mind clicked back into gear and it occurred to me that Sirius was kissing me, actually kissing me, and I was standing there like an inanimate object.

That was when the feeling finally returned to my fingers, and I wove myself around him, my hands trailing up his chest and around his neck. His hands fell down to my waist and traced light patterns along the hem of my shirt, and shivers shot down my spine and all up my arms.

But that wasn't what I was focusing on. It was the way his lips moved across mine effortlessly, like gliding on water. It was the way he had to tilt his head down, just ever so slightly, and the way I had to arch myself into his chest just to meet his mouth. It was a perfect fit, I thought, and if it wasn't, it was as close as I'd ever gotten.

He parted his lips from mine for a moment, warm breath tickling at my skin, and then kissed me again, and again, and again. I was growing irritated of him pulling away and took his chin in my hands, pressing our mouths back together and holding him there so he couldn't move back. He laughed against me, a quiet little rumble from his throat, like he didn't mind at all.

Everything everywhere was on fire and I wondered absentmindedly how I could ever have felt cold in my life. Sirius planted his hands on my hips and moved me back against the wall, the side without a rail where the wall curved, and the simple little action sent my heart hammering into my throat.

He traced his fingers lightly up the nape of my neck and parted his lips from mine again. I let him this time, finding that I was incredibly breathless anyways. He was still close enough to satisfy my need, and I held him to me just to make sure he didn't get away.

"Were you ever going to tell me about this?" Sirius asked, and it could have been a whisper, but it was so close that it didn't matter.

"About what?"

He tilted his head back to mine, pressing his lips long and tantalizing against my own, before pulling back once more. "About that," he clarified simply.

"What, tell you I had lips?" I smiled, curling my fingers against his chest.

"No, believe me, I noticed that." He wrapped his arms around me, brushing his lips under my jaw. I shivered at the touch and he pulled me that much closer, like he was protecting me from the cold. "Weren't you ever going to tell me how you felt, or did that kiss just come out of nowhere?"

"I wasn't ever going to tell you, no."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm a bit of a coward."

"Not a coward," he murmured against my hairline. "Though I would have liked it if you'd said something earlier."

"Why? Bad timing?" I tapped his chin teasingly, and he growled, nipping at my finger, but I pulled my hand away quickly, laughing.

"Not at all. Now's definitely better than never."

"Mmh," I mumbled an agreement. "What happens now?" Meaning, what happened to us now? Everything was going to be so different now. Wasn't it? That's what I'd told myself, but this strangely didn't actually feel strange at all. It felt like this was where we'd been all along.

"Probably time for sleep. Do you even know how late it is?"

"No idea."

"Me either. We'll talk about all that later. But now let's just call it a night." He kissed my lips gently. "Okay?"

"Okay," I said slowly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Gracie," Sirius said. "I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"Yeah." And I started to move away, but then jumped back and kissed him a final time. I felt him smiling against my mouth until I finally pulled away from him and skipped down the stairs. I glanced over my shoulder, caught him watching me go, and waved sweetly. He just laughed, tilting his head on the wall and waving back sleepily.

That had really happened. I had to repeat it a few times in my mind as I made my way to my dormitory. No it hadn't. How did that happen? I was going to wake up in the morning and hit myself for dreaming something so cruel. I pinched myself just to make sure.

Merlin, I wasn't dreaming.

A/N: So practically nothing happened in this chapter except what we have waited a complete twenty chapters for! Or at least I did. I actually planned on this story ending at nineteen chapters but obviously that changed... Ahem. Thanks for the kitten name suggestions, I've figured one out, and I didn't actually use any of yours (sorry! I loved them all though! :D) but they gave me ideas. So we'll see that little guy next chapter! Anyways, hope this update wasn't too terrible. Forgot what else I was going to say. Yeahhh so, thank you so much for reading, you guys are amazing, see you next chapter! :)