Chapter Three

At six years old Esme snuck in among a group of dwarves going from Erebor to Thranduil's halls to renegotiate some of their business dealings. So overcomes with awe was she once inside the gates that she got herself lost and wandered into the throne room where Thranduil sat on his elaborate chair. The first glance had him intrigued - elflings were rare and there were none in his realm that he knew of - but the moment she faced him he knew exactly whose daughter she was.

"How came you here?" he demanded in his sternest voice.

Startled, the girl turned and bowed. Tauriel never learned the art of curtsying as she grew up in breeches and though Calien wore dresses often, the children all bowed as a greeting in imitation of their parents. "I'm Esme Durin Your Highness. Please, Naneth misses the forest and her people. May she come home?"

Thranduil arched an eyebrow at her boldness and the little girl came right up to him, showing no fear at all, and touched his long hair. "Ohh...it's so pretty. The same colour as Calien's. She lets me braid it sometimes. But I'm not very good yet and I pull when I don't mean to."

So charmed was he by her innocence and forthrightness that Thranduil smiled, possibly for the first time in centuries, and lifted her onto his lap. "You may practice on mine if you like. I taught another elfling to braid that way and I will not mind if you pull."

Delighted, Esme separated a handful of pale blond hair into sections and giggled, glancing at him shyly. "At home they call us dwelfs because Mama is an elf and Papa is a dwarf, but you can call me elfling if you like. It sounds special."

He stroked the tumble of red curls down her back, thinking they must come from her father's side as Elven hair was known for being quite straight. "It is very special. Tell me, who is Calien?"

"That's my sister. She's twelve years elder than me. Almost a lady if she was of Men, but she isn't and Mama and Papa aren't sure what age makes her an adult. There are two boys who like her but Mama and Papa both say she's too young and too precious to give away yet."

Thranduil made no sound when her fingers got tangled in his hair and she had to start over. She fascinated him as nothing else had beyond the count of years. "Are there any others in your family?"

"My brother Sefi is fifteen. He's an archer like Papa. The girls think he's so handsome and I do too, but he's too busy training to notice them. He wants to be a guard when he's older, much older Mama says, and they make him work very hard so he'll be safe. There," Esme patted the messy braid she'd fashioned. "See? It's not very good."

The king cupped her chin. "But it will be, when you've practiced more."

The doors opened just then. "My King, the envoy from Erebor is arrived and refreshed. May they be shown in?"

Thranduil waved his hand in acceptance and Esme bit her lip. "Uh oh."

"What is it?"

She stared at the door as the escort came in followed immediately by Fili and shrunk back against him. "That's my uncle. He doesn't know I'm here."

Fili bowed and opened his mouth to speak, but as soon as he looked up his eyes widened in shock at the sight of his niece on the king's lap. "Esme? Where did you come from?"

She mumbled something in Khuzdul and by his response it was clear he didn't believe her. "Come down at once and apologize for bothering King Thranduil. He has no time for children."

Esme frowned at her uncle. "I'm not bothering him Uncle Fili. He likes me."

Fili stepped forward as if to remove her but Thranduil held up his hand. "The child speaks truth." He looked down at Esme, pointing towards an elf standing near a second door. "Go with Vista, she'll find you something to eat and drink while I speak with your uncle. But after that we'll talk more. Perhaps in the garden?"

Esme nodded eagerly and slipped down, stopping to hug Fili briefly before she went with the lady elf. Fili dragged a hand down his face. "Oh, Tauriel is going to end me when she finds out."

King Thranduil barely repressed a chuckle. "Indeed she may. But I believe you came on other matters."

Fili nodded. "I did." He paused. "Were you truly enjoying her company?"

The king was honest and pleasant for once. "More than I've enjoyed anything since my son was of similar age. She is a very special child."

"Aye," Fili agreed. "And one likely to be in trouble until she comes of age when her mother hears of this." Then he cleared his throat and began his speech regarding their business.

LOTR

Hours later the king and Esme walked slowly through his private garden under starlight. She looked up at him hopefully. "Can Naneth come home now?"

Thranduil sighed. "Do you know why she had to leave?"

The little girl's face scrunched up. "She said it was her job to help protect the forest and there were evil creatures who came to hurt your people and the Company when they tried to leave. Mama said she had to follow them to make sure they never came back. They killed her friends and they weren't even sorry. But she got in trouble because you said everyone was supposed to stay in the forest."

"Yes." Thranduil sat and looked at her seriously. "But what I do not think your mother ever understood was that I desired to keep my people safe and the only way was to keep them in the forest. I never told her my decision was not made out of malice but rather care."

Esme touched his smooth cheek and he wondered if she would recoil from him if she ever saw what he hid under the calm features. "But if Naneth hadn't left, Da would've died."

He opened his mouth, then the cold words echoed through his mind - I do not care about one dead dwarf. He'd been speaking of this little one's father. He sighed and set his hands on her sides. "There was much I did not see at the time." Thranduil kissed her forehead. "Yes, Naneth may come home. And I think she and I should have a long talk."

Esme grinned and threw her arms around his neck but pulled back a moment later. "Is Legolas here? Naneth misses him."

Surprise coloured his features. "Have you met Legolas?"

She shook her head. "No. Only in Naneth's stories. She said he used to live in the forest but he went away after the Battle."

Thranduil brushed back her hair. "He has been away a long time. Perhaps there will come a day when he returns, but I do not know."

Fili stepped out into the garden and cleared his throat. Her shoulders slumped. "I have to go."

Thranduil lifted her hand, placing in it a fine silver necklace with a starlight gem pendant. "Come back anytime you like. You will always be welcome here Esme Durin, you and your family."

Esme could barely whisper 'Thank you' she was so overwhelmed by the gift. "It's beautiful," she whispered, "just like a star."

He cupped her cheek. "It is so you will remember how precious you are winimo." The king received another hug and then she skipped away to join her uncle. Thranduil had a feeling from that day on nothing would ever be the same again.

LOTR

Though Fili sent a messenger back to Dale as soon as he saw Esme, enough time had passed that Tauriel and Kili and their other children were quite frantic. The first day no one thought much of her absence, even as young as she was Esme had proven herself quite capable of making it to the gates of Erebor on her own and it was not unusual for her to get lost in the wonders of the Mountain for hours on end. But when Kili went to fetch her before dark none claimed to have seen the little girl and he began to feel a tinge of worry.

Fili couldn't help him look for her as he was off to talk politics with Thranduil but the Company quickly volunteered with half searching the Mountain and half returning to Dale where Calien and Sefi were already hunting her favourite spots while Tauriel made for the nearby wooded area to check the trees she could often be found in. By the time dawn came Tauriel and Kili had to accept that their youngest was not simply missing from their sight but well and truly lost.

They didn't think Esme could get as far as Long Lake by herself but Bard organized a search party and sent some that way just in case. Others fanned out through the valley and beyond while Calien and Sefi stayed home in case she returned on her own. Tauriel was at a loss for where to go next and wished desperately that Legolas was nearby. "What if she is hurt?" she worried to Kili. "What if she is scared and needs us?"

He took her hands. "You have always known when our babies were hurt or scared, often you were at their beds before they even woke from dark dreams. You would know the same for Esme now."

"What does it mean that I do not feel her at all?" Tauriel whispered, wiping away tears. "What do we do now Kili? I do not have any other ideas."

He glanced towards the forest and hesitated. "Do you think the king would lend us a few elves to help?"

Her answering expression was said. "My hope is not high. They may not even let me pass the entrance. I can ask but I cannot imagine a favourable response."

Kili squared his shoulders. "We'll go together then."

The couple took off at a fast walk which became a run until Kili could no longer keep up and she slowed the face. Few words were spoken, all their focus was on their missing daughter. Just past the halfway point of their journey Kili and Tauriel met the messenger Fili sent back.

He looked at them with wide eyes. "Prince Kili, Princess Tauriel!"

They waved away the formality, titles had never been part of their lives. Kili frowned. "Why have you left the delegation? My brother-"

Stig shook his head. "The Crown Prince fares well. He sent me to tell you that he has Esme with him."

Deep relief followed by profound confusion flooded both parents. "How on earth did that come about?" Kili demanded.

Stig shrugged. "I didn't have time to ask for details, Prince Fili wanted you notified as soon as possible. But my guess is she slipped in at the back of our group, slept nearby when we camped, and wandered off once we entered the gates." He chuckled. "The child moves as silent as an elf, a trait she clearly didn't inherit from her father. But she is well."

"Thank Mahal," Kili muttered while Tauriel closed her eyes.

"Valar be praised."

They held a short silent conference and turned back to him. "We know you must be weary Stig, but could you possibly make it back tonight and let our children, Dale, and the Mountain know Esme is safe? Everyone has offered to look for her and have probably been out all day."

He bowed. "Of course. Where will you be?"

Kili took his wife's hand. "We are going to get our child."

LOTR

They camped when they could not continue any longer and only an hour after resuming their journey the next morning met up with the returning envoy. Tauriel scooped Esme into her arms and fell to her knees so Kili also could embrace her. "My precious girl," she whispered, shedding more tears. Then Tauriel let go and scolded her daughter. "Do you know how we have worried over your absence Esme? How could you do such a thing?"

Esme seemed perplexed. "I had to talk to the Elf King. It was important."

Tauriel's brow furrowed. "What on earth would you have to say to a king you've never met?"

The little girl wiped away Tauriel's tears. "I asked him to let you come back. You miss the trees."

"Oh Esme." She closed her eyes. "It was a lovely thought winimo, but the king does not change his mind."

She grinned. "He did when I asked. He was very nice Naneth. I sat on his throne and he let me braid his hair and then before bed he said you could come back, that all of us are welcome." She looked a bit shy. "The king said elflings are very special."

"And dwelflings even more so, for you are one of only three on Arda," Kili put in, nearly as shocked as his wife. He met her eyes. "Tauriel?"

"He said I could come back," she whispered as if in a dream. "Kili...please?"

He glanced between wife and daughter. "I want to go with you."

"I'll not be long. I just want to be among them again."

Kili sighed and waved her off, watching Tauriel run swift as a deer towards her forest. All these years she'd barely mentioned it, but the desire to be part of it again never faded. He kissed Esme's forehead and lifted her up. "That was a very brave thing you did sweeting. And such a special gift to Naneth."

"I thought the king would be frightening," Esme confessed, "but he isn't. He smiled at me."

Kili chuckled. "Then you indeed have great powers little one."

She looked up at him with trepidation. "Am I in trouble?"

"For worrying us, yes," he decided. "But I've no doubt Naneth will choose a lighter sentence based on the joy you have given her. Come on, we best get you home. Your brother and sister are beside themselves."

Esme felt bad. She hadn't meant to cause trouble. But then she remembered Naneth's smile when she told her mother what the king said and that alone made her brave enough to face the reactions that were to come.

LOTR

Kili waited outside the city gates until nearly midnight watching for his wife's return but reluctantly crawled into the cold bed alone and tried to sleep without her. Tauriel joined him a couple hours before dawn, very tired but wearing the most brilliant smile he'd seen since they spoke of starlight so long ago. "My trees Kili," she whispered as his arms drew around her, "they're still there."

He sighed into her hair. "Aye beloved. And I will take you back to them soon, I promise."

Tauriel kissed him deeply and fell asleep almost immediately, leaving Kili to contemplate at long last a return to the forest.

LOTR

It was against Kili's nature to let his wife face an enemy alone, even though that word might be too strong to describe the emotionally distant Elf-King, but she insisted. And though dwarves might have been famed for their stubbornness, he'd learned over more than two decades of marriage that dwarrow obstinacy had nothing on the iron will of elves. He pulled her down for a reassuring kiss. "I will be waiting."

Tauriel brushed her fingers over his beard. "I will feel your presence, even from outside the doors."

He held her hand as they walked to the throne room and then Kili reluctantly released her to enter unaccompanied, almost immediately beginning to pace away his nerves.

Tauriel took slow steps into the imposing space, across the winding bridge, and up carved steps, stopping just below Thranduil's throne. The king gazed at her imperiously for a moment and then rose, descending gracefully to her level. Long habit compelled Tauriel to bow. "My lord."

"Tauriel."

She resisted the urge to fidget. "Esme said you wished to speak with me?" He nodded once. "I'll admit those are words I never thought to hear again."

Thranduil walked a low circle around her. "You have always been different Tauriel, since you were a child. All my subjects are loyal and all my guards fierce warriors, but you possessed a passion I did not understand and your heart had room in it for all the world while mine did not."

"Perhaps it is the red hair," she offered blithely, not knowing what to say.

He chuckled. "Perhaps. I listened so many times to your desire to cut evil off at the source, to do more than just clear the spiders' nests but to root out their influence for good. And each time I was afraid." Tauriel arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "I know centuries have passed since you have seen me show true care, but just because my heart became hidden behind impassive features did not mean it ceased to beat."

The king sighed. "I care for all my people Tauriel, but perhaps because of your connection to my son you were always special and I did not want to see you in greater danger. It is why the guards are sent out in such large groups, why patrols constantly sweep the forest for evil that needs to be driven out, why the gates to this realm are so thick."

Thranduil shook his head. "I told Esme what I should have told you - my decision to close the gates and keep my people inside the realm was not out of malice because I cared not for the world outside, but rather concern and a desire to see all those under my care safe from harm. When I pronounced your banishment it was not out of malice, but a reaction to fear I did not know how to conquer. You cannot imagine how I have regretted the pronouncement that banned you, and by extension my son, from these halls for so long."

Tauriel swallowed back her emotion. "While I am grateful at long last to have an explanation, I'm afraid I do not understand."

He took hold of her hands, meeting her eyes steadily. "I was wrong," Thranduil spoke softly. "Welcome home, Daughter of the Forest. Your banishment stands no longer."

Tears shined in her eyes. "Truly?" she whispered. Though Tauriel had already been among her trees the day Esme returned, she hadn't truly believed such a gift could be real.

"Truly," the king confirmed. "As I told your daughter, you are welcome here. You and your family. Please, let me mend some of the damage that has been done."

Barely restraining herself from hugging him (years among humans and dwarrow had changed much about her), Tauriel bowed shakily. "Hannon le," she whispered. "Hannon le hir nin." [Thank you. Thank you my lord]

At his benevolent dismissal Tauriel turned and rushed from the room right into Kili's waiting arms. He held her tightly as she cried into his shoulder, but when she met his eyes he knew they were happy tears. "He lifted my banishment Kili. I'm allowed to come home!" A moment later Tauriel smiled softly and traced his familiar features. "But then, I suppose I have been home all along, haven't I?"

Heartened to hear those words, Kili nonetheless understood her joy. "I take no offense beloved. The place you were born will always be a deeper sort of home." He kissed her warmly. "I am delighted for you."

Tauriel closed her eyes. "Home," she whispered. "For so long I did not realize this was missing. He said I can come home."