Caroline had been in her office for about an hour before Beverley arrived; it was the first day back from the holiday break and Caroline wanted to get a jump on the work that awaited her. "Good Morning, Caroline," Beverley called to her as she hung up her coat. "Did you survive the holidays?"
"Morning. Yes, you?" she called out without looking up.
"It was good but the kids were at each other the whole time. Can't say I'm unhappy to be back," Beverley admitted as she entered the doorway and leaned against it.
Caroline looked up and gave her an inscrutable expression as she replied, "Then you're the only one."
"That's not like you, usually you're the one who is relieved to see the holidays end. How was the wedding?" Beverley asked as almost an afterthought. Beverley noticed that Caroline's expression suddenly turned into a broad smile but she didn't respond. "That good, huh?"
"Grab a cuppa, have a seat and I'll fill you in. You won't believe me when I tell you what happened at the reception," Caroline suggested as she looked at her watch to see how long she had until assembly; she found she was looking forward to it as this was the first one in a long time where she could openly look at Kate without fearing the rejection in her eyes if their eyes chanced to meet.
Beverley was chuffed for Caroline and Kate. She always believed it could happen but just wasn't sure it would as Kate seemed pretty resolute in avoiding Caroline at school.
"So how did the rest of the family react?" Beverley was concerned because she suspected Lawrence's and Celia's reluctance to accept Kate in the past was part of why they broke up.
"Lawrence was pretty distant to start but then Kate gave him some of those Death Grip comics all the kids seem to be into and that helped him turn the corner. He's been much better with her. Apparently he can be bribed," Caroline laughed at the memory of it.
"You mean the ones her friend Greg illustrates?" Beverley asked casually.
"Her friend Greg?" Caroline was stunned by the question and turned instantly pale. "Which friend Greg?"
"The one she went to university with," Beverley replied. She had no knowledge of his hand in her pregnancy.
"Are you serious? That Greg?" Caroline collapsed against the back of her chair completely dumb-founded.
"I'm sorry. Am I missing something," Beverley asked as she could tell she put her foot in something but had no idea what.
"He's…the…donor." Caroline had trouble getting the words out. In the days and nights since Christmas Eve, she and Kate talked on and off about what went wrong in an effort to heal as well as to avoid making the same mistakes again. But they hadn't yet talked about Greg; the baby, yes, but not Greg.
About thirty minutes later, Beverley helped a still stunned Caroline into her robe and sent her off. She was doing a slow simmer and had trouble keeping her composure as she walked up the center aisle. With each step she managed to put on more of her headmistress mantel until she was able to push aside her emotions and deliver her first address of the new year to the students. Somehow she made it through but did so without looking for Kate; she feared that if they made eye contact her facade might crumble.
By the time Caroline returned to her office, Beverley was a nervous wreck at the thought of how her remark suddenly brought her crashing back down to Earth from Cloud Nine. She decided to apologize to Caroline.
"You have nothing to apologize for," Caroline flatly responded. "I just never put two and two together. How did I not know that?"
"I'm sure she didn't think of anything more than how much Lawrence would like them. She wouldn't have done it to hurt you. I'm sure when you two talk you'll see that," her assistant tried to rationalize.
Kate was run off her feet all morning with back-to-back classes. In the few minutes she had to catch her breath she texted Caroline to say that she was missing her; she was disappointed when she didn't get a reply but wrote it off to Caroline either not being by her phone or too busy to respond. She kept checking her phone as her schedule allowed in hopes that she'd find a reply. Finally, by mid afternoon she saw a response.
Missing you too. How about a quiet dinner out so we can have a chance to talk without being interrupted? I should be able to meet you at home by 5.
Sounds good. Can't wait. OX
Caroline tossed her phone on the desk, not sure how she was going to handle the conversation she needed to have without making a bigger deal of it than she should, but she just felt so gutted she didn't trust herself.
When she walked into 46 Conway a couple of hours later, she spied Kate resting on the settee, still dressed in her school clothes, ready to go to dinner. She poked her head into the room and told her she just wanted to check on the boys and then they could go. Kate didn't give Caroline's failure to give her a kiss hello a second thought as she figured she was tired from the long day and anxious to see to the boys' dinner plans.
After a short car ride, they arrived at one of their favorite restaurants and were shown to their table. They ordered some wine for Caroline and a sparkling water for Kate. As soon as the waiter returned with their drinks, they placed their entrée orders. It was then that Kate noticed how tired Caroline looked and realized something might be off with her.
"Long day? It's always tough the first day back, isn't it?" Kate asked out of concern.
"Hmmm. It didn't start out too good and then just went downhill from there," Caroline began as she sipped on her water glass, trying to clear her head and find the words to move forward safely.
"What happened? Seb Dixon stepped out of line again?"
"I could have handled that. No, it was something Beverley said." Her tone was flat and her voice was just above a whisper.
Kate looked at her with anticipation, her mind devoid of any possible ideas about what the trusted assistant could have said.
"I realized today that I don't know much about your friend Greg. I know I met him and heard him talk non-stop all through dinner but I've no idea what he does for a living for example."
Not knowing where the conversation was going, but having a bad feeling about it, she told Caroline he was a cartoonist.
"I think you left out a detail," Caroline retorted with an unintended edge developing in her voice. "Don't you mean he's the artist behind those comics you gave Lawrence for Christmas?"
Kate could read the distress in Caroline's face and instantly realized what she had done. "Oh my God! My only thought was I needed something for Lawrence and I knew he liked that series. I'm sorry Caroline. I didn't think." She could see the words didn't have any softening effect on Caroline. "He doesn't know that he's a friend of mine or that he's…"
"Thank Heavens for that at least." Caroline said as she picked up her wine glass this time and took a long and slow sip.
"I'm sorry Caroline. I just grabbed them in an effort to get Lawrence to accept me. I honestly didn't think about any bigger implication." She was heartfelt in her words but at the same time was beginning to get a little offended at the possibility of having to defend her self again about Greg, who really was one of her oldest friends.
Caroline looked up from her drink to make eye contact with Kate who responded by reaching out her hand to hold Caroline's. She was relieved she didn't recoil from her touch. The gesture in turn made her realize how much she needed the physical contact with Kate just then; it was a reminder that Kate was still choosing her over Greg or anyone else.
"Can you forgive me for being so thoughtless?"
Looking into Kate eye's, Caroline could tell she was truly sorry and she felt her anger begin to abate.
"I was just so caught off guard when Beverley asked if the books you gave Lawrence were done by Greg." Caroline sighed heavily as she continued, "It just made me realize I really should know more about him since, you know, his DNA will be part of our daughter."
Those words, 'our daughter', buoyed Kate's hopes that her relationship with Caroline wasn't heading back to the rocks again. She asked reluctantly, "What do you want to know?"
"Obviously I don't want to know everything, but, I think you need to start at the beginning and tell me how you met and how your friendship began and all that. I think I'm finally in a head space to listen," she admitted.
"Are you sure you want to know? I kind of assumed that our not talking about him might be easier for you." Caroline nodded her head and took another sip on her wine to help brace herself. Through the better part of the meal, Kate gently told Caroline about Greg, and to Kate's surprise, Caroline didn't seem as defensive about him as she did when they were discussing him on the settee just before Kate's birthday.
By the end of the conversation, Caroline felt more at ease about Kate's feelings for him being only those of friendship and nothing more but there was still one point that niggled at her. "So what will you do if he decides he wants contact with the baby?"
"I really don't believe he will but if he does, I rather thought that was something you and I would decide together," she said as she again reached out and took Caroline's hand in her own. Caroline responded by shifting their hands so their palms could press against each other's and their fingers could interlock. It was how she often connected with Kate while making love and Kate understood the gesture. "So are we okay?"
"Oh, Kate. I can't promise I won't be jealous of him from time to time but I will try harder to be more circumspect when the subject of him comes up and I know it will. It has to," Caroline pledged.
"Seems to me we've just made it through what could have been a really rough patch successfully. Do you think we're getting better at this," Kate asked hopefully.
Caroline finished the last swallow of her coffee and playfully responded, "I think we did but I also think that perhaps we just earned some make up sex. What do you think?"
"Most definitely," Kate replied as she stood and reached a hand out to her lover. "If you take me home, I'll take you to bed."