We manage upright and in celebration Gale lifts me from the ground and spins me around before pulling me close
"I'm very proud" he tells me "but knew you could do it"
"Now I just have to walk"
"And you will, just give it time"
"I don't have time in abundance" I mutter in a tantrum
"This is about the dance again, isn't it?" he asks and I blush crimson, silly girl, he must think
"You think it's stupid"
"I think, after all the terrible things you've been through, the least you deserve is a nice time at a dance"
"I'm not even walking yet, I think dancing is totally off the cards don't you?"
"Maybe not" without putting me down Gale adjusts his hold on me, dropping one arm to my waist and tightening his grip "could I have this dance?" he asks already swaying me and I laugh but also feel I could cry.
If someone were watching us now they'd see an older man endulging in a little girls fantasy, like I've seen Gale do for Posy so many times where he'll play the knight to her princess. But from inside our small circle that's not at all how it feels.
He hums so softly I can only hear it through the reverberations in his chest and eventually he drops his forehead to rest on mine ever so gently. This is how man and wife dance in their kitchens after years of marriage.
Because I am only allowed so much of a good thing, my legs buckle beneath me and our circle breaks. He catches me of course but the exquisite peace has gone, never to return.
On arrival back at the sallon, dusk has fallen and the decorations that had been pretty this morning are now beautiful. Lanterns hang on string intermitently betwixt each of the buildings that make up our small vilage, illuminating the meadow amongst them with a warm bronze glow. Garlands and ribbons adorn the strings and every window, rooftop and doorway. Tables and benches from every business in town surround the space leaving a clearing where a stage has been erected for the band and dancing.
"Madge! There you are!" Glimmer gallops toward us "we were expecting you back hours ago" she admonishes Gale
"You look beautiful Glimmer" I gush honestly, glad she chose to wear the pale pink rose patterned dress she'd shown me yesterday "Darius will be beside himself" she stops only for a split second to grin before she's frowning at Gale again "you said you'd have her back in time"
"There's plenty of time" he laughs "we were getting some last minute practice weren't we Madge" at that Glimmer softens but still seems inpatient
"Well bring her upstairs, we're all getting ready in my room"
"Yes maam" Gale nods, grinning
"She has to pick a dress"
"A dress!" I exclaim "what for? It's silly for me to dress up just to sit inside"
"Oh no Madge, you're not hiding inside tonight"
"Surely you can't mean for me to join the dance?"
"Oh yes Madge, that's exactly what we mean"
"I can't, someone will recognise me"
"So what?!" Johanna, who looks very striking in a vibrant indigo dress, appears "If, and I mean if, someone decided to tell your father what could he do? Haymitch is the richest man in town after him, your Aunt has lots of powerful friends in Denvor, the sheriff and his son the deputy would lose their stars before letting him hurt you again. And if that isn't enough there's about thirty other people willing to shoot him before he gets near you"
"Johanna" I whisper "it's just not something I'm willing to risk"
"Oh Madge" she whispers back, taking hold of the arms of my chair "tough".
There are three dresses hanging on the outside of Glimmers closet. The first is lavender with ruffled sleeves and a lace belt, the second is a pale silvery blue with fillogry trimmings and a lace bodice and the third consists of a cream skirt and bodice, lined with emroidery under a golden layer of sheer fabric. All are beautiful in their own right, all deserving of a better host then me
"you should wear the gold" Katniss suggests beside me, looking ethereal and like mother nature herself in a shimmering oyster green "you'd look lovely in all of them but I think the gold is just you, ya know?" I appreciate the compliment, truly, but I can't imagine a dress as fine as any of these suiting me the way Katniss' does her
"I agree" says Cashmere, again in pink
"As do I" joins Annie in violet and then Bristel in blue, Clove looks angelic in creamy yellow, to my surprise and Levi is a vision in crimson
"Gold it is" I smile, feeling self conscious. In a different life I'd have run for the gold, twisted matching thread through my hair and spun until I was dizzy to watch the skirts fan out around me but that was not who I was now.
Instead I let Glimmer and Annie style my hair, pinning as many curls up as they can without revealing the scars on the back of my head and neck and even consent to some makeup, if only to distract from the scars.
Annie and Jo help me stand to see my reflection and the dress in a large mirror. The dress is stunning and my gold curls compliment it nicely. They all gush about how beautiful I look, how I'll steal all the attention. All I see is my scars. The slither of pale tissue across my hairline, the protrusion of my collar bone, the uneveness of my bottom lip, the indent of my second rib, even in a corset. Then of course, they lower me into the chair and all the makeup in the world can't distract from that.