Chapter Twenty-Four

No One Ever Dies at the Library

The next morning it almost felt like nothing had happened at all. Everything slid by as usual until breakfast, when I walked in and Sirius was already sitting at the Gryffindor table with Remus. They glanced up simultaneously, but I looked at Sirius first without even thinking anything of it, and we just shared an empty stare. I nearly opened my mouth to say something, but I found no words. The night before suddenly came crashing back in terribly violent waves.

"G'morning," Remus said, and I snapped myself from Sirius as quickly as I could, smiling instead at Remus. It hurt, I thought, to smile. To smile like this, when I really just wanted to grab the goblet and crush it in my hands.

"Morning," I said anyways, attempting to look ahead without glancing Sirius's way. I didn't want to ignore him, but I couldn't very well just act chipper and content, could I?

James and Peter came shortly after I did, and I was relieved that I hadn't needed to say anything more. The four of them talked instead—laughing at something, but I hadn't heard what—and I just ate and stared down at the table. After a while, it was just too much, and I glanced about desperately for Lily or someone I knew. Lily was nowhere to be found. Probably in the library. I was going to have to scold her for that later; she'd been studying every other breath, and now she was starting to skip meals. It was ridiculous. I spotted Mary a few seats down, speaking idly with Georgia and Eunice, and I rose as quickly as I found a feasible escape.

"Hey," I greeted timidly, too drained to be spontaneous, "do you mind if I sit here?"

Mary raised her eyes, and upon seeing me, smiled and shook her head. I had to admit that she looked particularly surprised, but I didn't necessarily blame her. I probably hadn't eaten with her since first year. "No, go ahead."

"Thanks." I sat, and Georgia and Eunice looked me over, seeming to want to ask what was so direly wrong that I'd had to move. I didn't say anything, though, only regarded them slightly, and asked Mary instead about the Defense homework.

Lily ran into the Great Hall towards the end of breakfast, red-faced and panting. I saw her walk over to James, mouth something to the lot of them, then search the end of the table for me. When she met my gaze, she raised a curious brow and made her way over warily. She didn't ask—that would probably have come off as a bit rude, even though it's what everyone else was wondering, too—but just sat down instead, saying hello to Mary and the others.

"Hi, Lily," Mary said cheerfully, and I noticed her cheeks were pink. She was cute, like a little girl. I'd never really noticed. "Did you hear about Ben Swott and that Slytherin girl? I was just telling Gracie."

"No, which girl?"

Mary happened to be quite the gossiper, but it didn't really bother me. The school wasn't far too interesting—the moving staircases and flying broomsticks and friendly ghosts got boring after awhile—and so it was only natural to be curious in who was dating who, I think. And a Slytherin dating a Gryffindor! It was absolutely scandalous.

Well, kind of. Mary went off on her tangent beside me, filling Lily in on the entire story that she'd laid out for me, but oddly enough I'd forgotten the Slytherin girl's name. I wasn't too good at being a gossip. Unfortunately.

Mary was nice, though, and I figured if I wasn't going to talk to Sirius then I could definitely at least attempt to keep up with Mary's gossip. We were very different, but it didn't really matter to either of us, because ever since that day in the corridor with Avery and Mulciber, we'd gotten along fabulously. She'd always update me about Avery and Mulciber, until they were finally expelled, and we hadn't mentioned them since. It was hard not to get along with Mary anyways, though. She was far too sweet.

After the morning passed, we left the Great Hall for Herbology and Lily pulled me aside, staring me down with her big green eyes. "Is everything all right?"

"Yeah," I answered, shrugging. "Just thought I'd sit with someone else for a change."

She looked me over, not entirely convinced, but let it go anyway. "Okay. You're an odd one, Gracie."

I didn't talk to Sirius at all throughout the day. Not once. Not a whisper, not a syllable, nothing. We'd caught each other's eye various times, but it was like looking at a stranger. Accidental eye contact, dismissed immediately, no expression whatsoever.

When the sun finally went down and it was time for bed, I curled up in my sheets and pulled my legs to my chest, feeling hollow. There was a distinct ache there, and the more I thought about it, the worse I felt. It took a while for me to finally drift off, but when I did, I slept a dark and dreamless sleep.

The library was eerily quiet, despite the number of bodies that occupied the crooks and crannies of the place. That was the way it had been for weeks. Mostly fifth and seventh years, it seemed, heads bent over textbooks and piles of parchment as far as the eye could see. It was already late into March, precisely a week before Easter, though the holiday meant practically nothing for anyone anymore. The week off translated into "uninterrupted studying time" for most of the school. It was outrageously depressing.

Lily had just finished testing me on all the various uses of Dittany, in a whisper. It hadn't been the easiest studying I'd ever done, surprisingly.

"Lily," I said, lowly, "don't you think we ought to take Easter off? Live a little, get out into the air, you know?"

She looked at me as if she did not understand my language, and hissed, "What? Gracie, we've got NEWTs in June."

"Which is practically three months away," I groaned. "Just for a day? It can't hurt. We've been studying since January. You're not going to fail your NEWTs because of a day or two."

She frowned, eyes glossing over her textbook. "Well, I do practically have this library memorized." Then seemingly uncharacteristic of herself, Lily grinned slightly. "What will we do, though? Do you mean like going to Hogsmeade, or?"

"I was thinking we'd get out." I shrugged, still making an effort to keep my voice quiet and practically non-existent, "I just thought about it now. Maybe we could go window shopping in a muggle village or something. Muggles are fascinating, after all."

Lily rolled her eyes. "As if I don't know." She tilted her head thoughtfully. "Just you and me, or did you want to invite the boys?"

"Oh, I guess, I mean—" I paused in distraction, meeting eyes with Kenneth from across the room. He smiled and waved, and I tried not to laugh as I returned it. I turned my attention back to Lily, finishing, "I mean, you can if you want."

She frowned again, a deep line between her brows. "Gracie…" She was staring hard at Kenneth, who'd turned away to his reading. She looked as if she was trying to connect some sort of dots. "Are you two dating again?"

I shook my head, tapping my fingers against my chin absentmindedly. "No, we never dated in the first place, anyway. Well, we did. Kind of. But it didn't last long."

"Still," Lily said, looking distressed. "You're always with him."

"I am not."

"Yes, you are. I see him everywhere these days. It's like he stalks us."

"He doesn't stalk us. He just walks me to class sometimes."

"More like every time. Doesn't he have his own classes to go to?"

Well, I honestly couldn't deny it; I'd wondered the same thing at first. "Why does it matter? It's just Kenneth."

"I know. I don't have anything against him, it's just that you're acting so odd lately. I mean, when's the last time you talked to Sirius?"

I scoffed. "An hour ago."

"That doesn't count. You two were spitting fire at each other. I mean actually speaking like civilized human beings to one another."

"It wasn't my fault," I said. "He's the one that was complaining about the common room being too cold. I just suggested to him that he move if he was so unhappy where he was."

"I know, I was there," Lily sighed, giving me a hard look. "But it didn't really sound like a suggestion. It was more like you just telling him to get the hell out."

No use denying that, either. Ever since our incident—everything that ever happened was always coined as an incident, wasn't it?—Sirius and I had resorted to nasty forms of communication, cutting each other off or snapping at inappropriate times. He was a lousy bugger, though. Not my fault. It wasn't like we were ignoring each other anymore, like we had the first couple of days.

"Something happened, didn't it, Gracie? Between you and Sirius."

I let out a small breath, pushing my book around idly.

"That's why you're always with Mary or Kenneth now, isn't it? I mean, sometimes you talk to Remus. Sometimes James or Peter. But never Sirius, unless to yell at him."

"I talk to Remus more than I do Mary or Kenneth," I retorted helplessly.

"Not the point. Honestly, even Sirius doesn't talk to anyone that much. He's always around Georgia or Courtney Preece. Or, any girl, I suppose. I don't really pay attention to him."

I did, though.

"What happened, Gracie?"

I straightened myself, redirecting my gaze to the floor, wishing for it to burn, and whispered, more quietly than I'd say anything the entire evening, "I kissed him."

"Oh." She hesitated and suddenly looked tragically sad, assuming the worst.

"No," I sighed. "He kissed me back. And we were—together, in a way, and it was, I don't know, we were—well, it doesn't matter, I guess, because then he said he wasn't taking any of it seriously, because apparently that's what he thought we'd established in the first place. By not telling anyone."

She stared incredulously. "You two were dating?"

"No, not really," I murmured.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Lily." I laughed in spite of the situation, falling back a bit. "I'm sorry. It's not like it matters. Nothing good came out of it."

"But I don't get it. I don't get…it…at all. Start over."

I rolled my eyes half-heartedly. "We said at first that we wanted things to be low-key. I mean, it was sudden, you know? We had no idea what was even going on, really. I didn't want to be all over each other all the time. Not like you and James."

She gasped, and started to protest, but I cut her off.

"I'm just kidding. About the last part, anyway. So, I guess he just interpreted that as 'we can do whatever we like because we're not in a serious relationship,' and then defended it by saying he didn't want to risk our friendship."

Lily blinked slowly. "Well, Sirius is daft, you know that. What did you tell him?"

"I said I wasn't fooling around. I honestly wasn't." I bit my lip hard. "And I guess it's just a bunch of tosh to say that I really cared about him and was hurt when he didn't feel as genuinely in return, but that's the only way I can think to say it…"

"Oh, Gracie." She sighed sympathetically. "He ruined your friendship by trying not to ruin it, didn't he?" I assumed she didn't exactly desire an answer and she hugged me anyways. "He's a prat, but he's Sirius, Gracie, and you've never been able to hold a grudge against him for long. I know, I know, this is different. But you'll see. Okay?"

I groaned, but she glared at me for an answer until I finally had to comply. "Okay."

It was pretty lousy advice, but I trusted her, for some reason or another.

The morning before Easter break began with an obnoxious screech that landed right on my plate, in the middle of my eggs and rashers. Right before me a mousy-brown owl had perched itself, flailing its wings frantically and creating the biggest commotion since Peter confronted with a boggart. By the way he reacted, the owl very well could have been his boggart.

"AHHH!" Peter shrieked, sending his own plate of eggs soaring across the table. "I hate owls! Stupid bloody dimwitted owls! I hate them! Stupid owls! Stupid—"

"The rat in you is more apparent every day, mate," James said, clapping the panicking boy on the shoulder.

Meanwhile, the owl had begun to calm itself down, and stuck its leg out for me to grab it. I wrenched the letter from around his ankle and inspected it slowly. I sighed and gave the owl a stern look. "I am not Lily. She's Lily." I pointed towards the red-head and passed the envelope to her. "Go on, get out," I said, waving the owl away. "I don't have any treats. Maybe if you learn some manners and don't land in my food next time. Go on now."

The owl tilted its head curiously. The creature was very much testing my patience. I pat it on its behind to get it moving, which unfortunately only startled it and sent it off with a screech, whisking in front of Peter's screaming face before it finally flew away and out of the Great Hall.

"Petunia's engaged," Lily said, having ripped open the letter and read over its contents. She looked as if she could not manage an appropriate response. "I've never even met this… this Vernon person!"

"Petunia?" I ravaged a piece of toast from the wreckage. "She's only a year older than you, isn't she?" I'd met her once, on the single occasion that I'd visited the Evans house; she'd been rather stiffly curt, as if she was only being polite on account of a knife being held to her throat. Needless to say, I wasn't overly fond of her.

"Mmh." She peered over the letter again, brows knit together in concentration as she read over the rest. "They haven't set a date."

"Well, send my regards," I said absently. Petunia likely didn't even remember me, let alone want my regards.

"All right, oh—she asked if I would come see her for Easter. Oh. Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" I frowned. "But tomorrow we were supposed to all get out for our day-trip."

"She said, 'This week is the only week Vernon's got off for a while and so we thought we'd invite you and James for tea, or dinner, or whatever really, I suppose. Mum and Dad would love to see you as well, but I'm sure you already knew that. They asked if you'd visit the house afterwards. You do have the week off, don't you?'" Lily looked inconceivably ill at ease. "I'll have to take the entire week off."

"You told your family about me?" James asked, looking particularly impressed.

It seemed as if everyone was at different ends. I wanted to press that tomorrow was the day we were supposed to go to Dufftown, but James and Lily were off in their own world.

"Of course I did," Lily said, only somewhat miffed, "I mean, I met your parents, didn't I? I might as well have told my own."

James smiled at her in a way that looked to singularly belong to the two of them. "I'm flattered, Lils."

"You shouldn't be."

James was about to make another remark, but Lily cut him off and turned to me instead.

"I guess that means that I'll have to back out of our plans, Gracie. Sorry," said Lily. She didn't look as if she necessarily wanted to meet Petunia and Vernon, but if I knew Lily, she would come to terms with it soon and would be nothing but excited tomorrow morning.

I shrugged. "It's fine." Except that I was then stuck with Remus, Peter, and Sirius, and that did not seem like a very appealing idea at all.

In all technicality, I could have very well backed out of the plan and used an excuse to stay at the castle and study for the remainder of the week. Kenneth would be staying, surely, and so I wouldn't be too alone. Perhaps Mary would be there as well. I had plenty of company, if I'd really wanted it.

But for some reason, I hadn't. Regardless of anything that had happened between Sirius and I, Peter and Remus were still my friends, and to be quite frank, I liked them a bit better than I did anyone else. I couldn't imagine leaving them entirely because of a row with Sirius.

And honestly, very honestly, a part of me wanted to reconcile things with Sirius. I didn't know why I hadn't already. Of course I was still upset with him. It bothered me to no end to see him walking with Georgia or Eunice or Marie Claire or whoever it might have been, but I really just wanted Sirius back. It was that bit of me that was still upset, though, that kept me from saying anything.

So I kept my tongue, as did he, and with something of a miracle, the trip went better than I could have ever feasibly hoped for. Granted, it would have been much better if Sirius and I had been on speaking terms, but considering the fact that we were not and doing so might have instigated another nasty row, things had gone marvelously.

The whole day had been spent running through shops throughout the village and trying on ridiculous clothing and absolutely revolting sweets. There had been times when we couldn't stop laughing and actually had to physically stop walking and fully right ourselves to continue on. Even Peter was in stitches by the end of the day.

Peter and I were in one of the miscellaneous shops, with aisles of odd knick-knacks and peculiar items for sale. "Peter, I think that hat really brings out your eyes," I said, rubbing my chin as I observed the fox tail cap on his head. "Really superb what that can do for you."

He stared at me, not amused.

"What? I'm not kidding! You look absolutely dashing."

Peter grumbled something and pulled the cap off his head, and moved to set it back on the rack, but before he could return it to its spot, a great collateral rush of noise erupted from somewhere far off and the hat fell from Peter's hands and onto the floor.

I spun around on the spot. "What was—"

But the rest of my sentence was drowned in another explosion of noise, closer this time, petrified, ear-piercing screams ringing out through the air like sirens. There were suddenly people running madly through the shop door, panicked and frenzied, yelling at one another over the screams. Peter and I stared wide-eyed at each other.

"No! We've got to get to the car! They'll target this one next!"

"Where's my son? Has anyone seen my son?"

"We've got to get out!"

"He's got blonde hair—a green shirt—oh, God, has anyone seen my son?"

"Why here? Why us? What's going on?"

"They're terrorists! Declaring war! This is the beginning of a war!"

"They'll kill everyone here!"

"We've got to leave! Now! We can't stay here!"

"But we can't go outside—they're outside—they'll see us, they'll—"

It was hard to know what was happening or even what to do. I felt suspended in time, numb and unfeeling, and everything was a loud, incomprehensible roar in my ears. It took another explosion to knock me back to my senses, but unfortunately I'd re-gathered my sense only moments too late; the wall broke apart like a firework, showering the shop with debris and rubble, which sent Peter and I and various others leaping out of the way and to the ground. The impact of hitting the floor winded me, and the smoke was toxic in my lungs. I choked and coughed and gasped, and vaguely I thought of how that lovely explosion had done absolutely nothing to ease the screams around us.

"Peter! Peter—are you all right?"

He looked disoriented, and his head was bleeding where he'd hit it on a shelf, but he nodded his head vigorously and tried to right himself. "Yeah, you?"

"I'm fine," I answered, but panic was starting to kick in, and it was getting hard to keep calm. "Where are Remus and Sirius?"

"They were…" He trailed off, thinking fast, "They went to the shop next door, didn't they?"

"Yeah, yeah, they did," I recalled quickly, pulling myself to my feet and trying my hardest not to give in to the dizzy spell that suddenly found me. "Come on, we've got to go find them," I urged, helping Peter up.

"But, Gracie, outside—"

"Peter, come on!"

"All right, yeah…"

I pulled him after me, my legs moving desperately of their own accord. Peter wobbled beside me, and I worried slightly about his head, but I couldn't leave him in that shop and I couldn't very well leave him out here in the open. I could only hope and pray that he was all right for now until we found Remus and Sirius and could apparate out of here.

It was hard to see through the crowd of running people, and even harder to manage not being trampled beneath them, but after an eternity of dodging and shoving through the mass of bodies, we collided into them.

I'd nearly knocked the two of them over in the process, and gasped when I'd realized who it was. "Sorry! Are you—"

"We're fine, but the terrorists, they're—"

"They're not terrorists," Sirius finished for him, "I saw one of their faces—in the explosion, his mask came off—Rodolphus Lestrange, he's married to my cousin. He's a Death Eater. They're all Death Eaters."

Peter emitted a noise like a nervous squeal.

I was wide-eyed with horror. "What do we do? We've got to get out of here, don't we? I mean, you can't—"

"They're Death Eaters," Remus said fiercely, "attacking a bunch of Muggles—if we leave, they'll kill the entire village, not to mention how many they've already killed!"

He had a point. We could hold some of them off, perhaps, but it would be incredibly dangerous and if something went wrong… No, if something went worse…

"All right, but we have to stick together!" I yelled, nerves pumping out of control. "We can't lose anyone!"

"If we can stay together," Remus said. "Try and stay close!"

"Which way were they?"

Sirius pointed, "That way! We've got to hurry—"

"Can we use our wands? With the muggles…"

"I don't know. The Ministry will have to handle that later. We're talking lives here now!"

All four of us trudged through the chaos again and then I finally spotted them: men, with dark, brooding cloaks and pointed hoods, masks with slits for eyes… This was crazy. A stupid kind of crazy. We were just teenagers! How the hell were we supposed to fight full-grown adults?

Suddenly Remus and Sirius were beside me, shouting out curses into the light of the day, disarming Death Eaters left and right, jets of color rebounding and striking back and forth. I recovered quickly, deciding if they were going down, then I'd at least go down with them. I pulled my own wand and aiming it sharply, cutting through the air with all the spells I could remember in the heat of the moment. Peter came up beside me, and then we were four, standing against a much greater and much more powerful number…

"What's this?" one of them called, a voice thick with venom and rage. "Wizards in a village full of muggles, come to save the day? Oh, and a witch! Adorable!"

The figure aimed a curse at me, and I'd only hardly deflected it, which sent the wizard into a fit of laughter.

"Fiesty, too!" The Dark cloaks were slowly approaching, their spells far overpowering our own. There were so many of them… Black, everywhere… "Students, are you? Not yet graduated? What would your mummy and daddies do if their kiddies didn't even get to graduate, because you were all a bunch of dumb and over-confident children?"

"You think that you can stand in the way of us!" another called, a shriek into the oblivion.

There was nothing for us to say, just spells to be screamed across the empty space.

"Should have run while you had the chance—you'll see, and you'll never want to stick your filthy noses in our business again—Crucio!"

Remus fell at my side, writhing and crying out in pain. "Remus!" I was choking on a sob, and I sent a curse flying at the Death Eater in retaliation, but another blocked it, still laughing manically, and joined in on the terror.

"Crucio!"

There was a pain like wildfire that ran through my veins, and suddenly the whole world was this pain, this excruciating stab at every inch of my skin, the heat that lapped up every part of me and consumed every thought I'd ever had. I didn't even know if I was screaming; there was just pain that made my head want to burst, and flashes of light and screams and pain, and more pain…

"Crucio!"

"Crucio!"

I vaguely came to and felt twitching, jerking bodies on both sides of me, and I knew the other curses had been aimed at Sirius and Peter, and we had all fallen on the ground, defeated and vulnerable. The pain still lingered throughout my body, and I couldn't find the movement in either my arms or legs, and I knew, knew better than anything I'd ever known in my life, that this is where we would surely die…

But the curses that rang through the air were no longer directed at us, and I summoned all the strength I had left to pick myself up. I gasped for breath and clawed the pavement, but I was fine, and I could move, and the others were slowly recuperating as well. My mind was hitting giant lapses, though, and I couldn't understand what was going on at all...

Aurors. From the Ministry. That's who they were dueling now. I took in shaky breaths and helped the others to their feet, not even bothering to ask if they were all right, because I didn't even know if I myself was all right, so how could they?

"Sirius! What are you doing?" It was Remus that screamed this, at the back of the boy who had dashed off madly towards the Death Eaters, flinging bright spells relentlessly.

I looked frantically between Remus and Sirius, trying to figure out what to do, and then I was running after him because if I had any sense to begin with, it was surely gone now. "Sirius! You twat, get back!"

He was dueling one of the cloaked men, vigorously shooting spells and deflecting as fast as he could. Remus and Peter were lost to the both of us now, and when I saw another Death Eater approaching, I couldn't think of anything to do but shout a spell his way as loudly as I could.

Sirius and I were soon dueling side-by-side, immersed in a battle we should, quite honestly, have lost. However, he and I were handling ourselves surprisingly well, and every expulsion of our lungs was followed by a defensive slash of our wands. I managed to stun the Death Eater before me right as someone I assumed to be an Auror dashed over to us and blew Sirius's opponent far out of the way.

"What are you two doing? Where are you supposed to be?" he shouted, with an arm with enough force to restrain the rising army.

"We're Hogwarts students—we were here for Easter break—"

"Get out! Apparate to Hogsmeade. You've both been brave—thank you so much for everything—but you need to go, now! We've got it under control here!" The man was ruddy, a face flushed from the strenuous battle, and waved us off insistently.

Sirius and I turned to look at each other. His face was streaked with dirt and debris, hair in disarray all around his head, but there was no real physical damage, it seemed, aside from strained breathing and wild eyes. But the longer I looked, the more normal he appeared, and I wasn't worried about him at all.

"Gracie, we should go…"

I brought myself back to my senses, and swiveled about madly, searching the crowd. "Where are Remus and Peter?"

"I don't know, but you heard the Auror, we've got to get out—"

"We can't leave them!"

"They've probably already apparated out, Gracie, we need—"

His eyes travelled somewhere behind me, then grew wide, and he yanked me towards him at full force before I could utter any kind of protest. I briefly felt the world turn to fire, like white-hot knives against every inch of my skin, and then it was gone.

My feet landed on the ground and I was gasping for breath. "What was that?"

"One of the Death Eaters cast an obstructing curse. I saw them do it a few times today, so I recognized the color of the spell." He rubbed his forehead. "You okay?"

"Yeah," I said slowly. I was just focusing on the softness of his eyes, softer than they'd been for a month. If I wasn't okay, I hadn't notice. "You?"

He nodded. "I'm good."

A loud pop resonated from behind Sirius, and two figures appeared.

"Peter! Remus!"

Peter staggered over, with little aid from Remus. "Hey," Peter whimpered.

"Oh, God, you—I can't—ah!" I pulled them all into a hug, trying my hardest to stop the prickling of my eyes by squeezing them shut.

"Shh, Gracie, it's fine," Remus said, almost a coo, and I let my arms fall slack as he wrapped his own around me and stroked my hair. He was laughing, but I didn't care, because we were all alright, and that was all I could even think to care about.

"Ow, ow, ow!" Peter shrieked, and I heard Sirius shuffle over to help Peter stand.

Remus let me go, glancing at Peter, who he had absentmindedly let go, "Oh, sorry, mate."

I laughed, shaking only slightly. I said, "Here, I'll help," and joined Peter on his other side to wrap an arm around him.

That was definitely the last time I'd ever make the plans again. Maybe a week of uninterrupted studying would have been more ideal. Death Eaters never blew up libraries, after all, did they?

A/N: This chapter was important for various reasons, even if it seems like kind of a filler, but it was necessary, promise! ;) Kind of a longer delay in updates than usual, sorry for that. Been busy.. I've got school again on the 2nd. My school starts SO early. So after Thursday, updates will be much less frequent.. blah...

Also, I saw Batman the other day, and I FREAKED OUT when I realized that Gary Oldman plays Comissioner Gordon.. because.. you know.. SIRIUS! GARY OLDMAN! OMGGG I spazzed in the theater, hah... yeah, I just had to share my excitement. Anyways, thanks for reading, leave a review? You guys are the best!