It was Sunday.
Sunday meant Grandpa was teaching Sunday school.
Sunday meant Lovino was stuck watching Feliciano. He fucking hated watching Feliciano.
"Lovino," Feliciano whined, "I'm bored."
"Go play with your toys," Lovino said, flipping through the TV channels.
"All my toys are boring, Lovino. I want to do something. Please—" Feliciano was dragging out the ends of all his words, "—please Lovino. Puh -lease, Lovino. I'm going to tell Grandpa you were just watching TV and not playing with me. Lo-vin -o!"
"I'm going to strangle you."
"Grandpa said you had to play with me!"
"Holy shit," Lovino breathed.
...
A Google search:
"Shit to do with 7 year olds"
...
"Welcome!"
They were in a field. There was a table with a shoebox on top, and a man was welcoming everyone who dropped money into the shoebox. There was a cardboard sign that had the prices.
A dollar for kids, three for adults.
There was a shitty wooden-stand-thing that everyone was gathering around.
"Welcome!" the man said loudly. "I'm Antonio, and I run the puppet show! So, it'll be four dollars for the two of you. Is this the first time to my puppet show?"
Lovino was busy looking for ones.
Feliciano grinned. "It is! Lovino said I was being really, really annoying, so he said he would take me to the puppet show if I didn't tell Grandpa that he said all these swear words when he stubbed his toe in front of me. I've never been to a puppet show!"
"I only have a five," Lovino finally said, handing the money to the man.
"Thank you for the tip!" Antonio said brightly.
"What? No, give me change."
Antonio pointed to the sign.
! Exact change only !
Lovino took a deep breath. "I didn't know it costed money."
Antonio smiled. "You know what, usually I don't do this, but for you…" He winked. "… I'll make an exception."
"Wow," Lovino deadpanned, "thanks."
"Any time!" Antonio laughed. "One time only, actually! I really need money!"
Lovino dragged Feliciano to the wooden-stand-thing.
"No, Lovino, I want to sit up by the front." Feliciano tugged on his hand. "Lovino, no, come on, I want to see! I want to sit at the very front! I've never seen a puppet show!"
"Fu—fine!"
They sat down in the very front. Feliciano was practically bouncing up and down, a grin stapled to his face, looking very hyperactive. Lovino hugged his knees to his chest.
This better be the best fucking puppet show he's ever seen.
Antonio left the table and snuck around the wooden-stand-thing. He tiptoed, in broad daylight, and held one finger up to his lips. The kids fell quiet, save a few excited whispers.
Feliciano hit Lovino's arm and shushed him. Lovino hadn't opened his mouth for five minutes, but whatever.
From behind the wooden stand thing, softly: "Hon, hon, hon."
Some kids booed.
A sock puppet popped up. It appeared to have straw glued to its head, and some around the mouth. "Hon, hon, hon! It iz I, Franny!"
Feliciano booed with the other kids.
"Hmm," Franny-puppet said, "what evil zing should I do today? Oui, oui, baguette. Oh, I know! I will finally defeatz zhat annoying hero, Toño! Hon, hon. And I 'ave a new invention to do zat, Eiffel Tower! Zhe Pain Ray!"
The Pain Ray was a water pistol painted red and black, hastily tapped to Franny-puppet.
It was a very, very shitty puppet show.
The kids fucking loved it. By the end, they were cheering as Toño-puppet defeated Franny-puppet's Pain Ray.
Antonio jumped out from behind the wooden-stand-thing and bowed as the kids clapped and cheered. He grinned, and Lovino looked away when Antonio caught his eye.
It was not an entirely shitty puppet show.
…
"Grandpa?" Lovino called as he walked into the house. "We're going to be late if you still want to talk to Father Keith—"
"Lovino!" Feliciano shrieked from upstairs.
Lovino could hear his brother's footsteps pound from his room to the stairs and begin down them. And then, about halfway, it was less footsteps and more like Feliciano falling down the stairs.
"Feliciano? Are you okay?"
"Lovino!" Feliciano ran into the kitchen. "Can we go to the puppet show again?!"
Lovino frowned. "The… Oh, hell no! Wouldn't you rather go see a—I don't know—a movie or something? Or play with your toys?"
"No, Lovino, I want to go see Antonio and the puppets! Grandpa said you would take me after mass! I'll even use my own money and everything!"
Grandpa walked into the kitchen. "Going to the puppet show?" he asked, ruffling Feliciano's hair.
Lovino made a face. "I…"
Feliciano made puppy-dog eyes, and Grandpa gave him a stern look. Looking between them, Lovino had no choice.
"I guess so."
…
"You came back!" Antonio chirped. "I'm so happy you enjoyed the puppet show!"
Lovino pursed his lips. "I didn't. I'm here against my will. I was dragged here against my will to see this puppet show. I didn't enjoy the puppet show."
Antonio tilted his head slightly. "Oh, that's… Okay, how about this. If you tell me your name, I'll let you pick the storyline for this week's puppet show!"
Lovino frowned. "What do you mean? You don't have like a script or something?"
Antonio shook his head. "Nope! I make it up as I go along. So…" He grinned, and it did funny things to Lovino's pants. "What's your name?"
Lovino took a breath. "No."
"That's a funny name."
Lovino pointed. "I'm not telling you my name."
Antonio pouted. "Aw."
Feliciano raised his hand. "Can I pick the story?"
Antonio switched his attention to Feliciano. "Oh, man, you totally can! I just need you to tell me your brother's name, and you can totally pick what—where are you going?"
Feliciano tried to pull his hand out of Lovino's. "Lovino, I wanted to pick the story!"
Lovino refused to watch the puppet show. He played 'Words with Friends,' but he kept getting distracted by Antonio's voice and missing important word spots.
"Hon, hon, hon!" Franny-puppet cackled. "All iz lost for 'ou, Gil! You will be thzrown into zis pit of acid!"
"But I zought we vere vriends!"
"'Ou zought wrong, baguette!"
"Fear not," Toño's deep voice boomed, "I am here to save you, Gil!"
Lovino glanced up. Gil-puppet was held up by a stick. Lovino scoffed.
…
A Yelp review:
Lovino Vargas 3:47 pm
Totally unrealistic main character. Not a hero.
Not a terrible puppet show.
…
"Lovino!"
Lovino gripped Feliciano's hand. "How do you know my name?"
Antonio grinned. "You left me a Yelp review! You have to put in your actual name and stuff, or it's through Google, I don't really know, but I do know we should go out for a date!"
"What?"
Antonio nodded. "And, if you agree, I'll put on a private puppet show for Feliciano!"
Lovino blanched.
Feliciano gasped. "Lovino! A private puppet show! Lovino! Say yes, say yes, Lovino, you have to—" He sounded like he couldn't get air into his lungs fast enough to get the next sentence out. "Lovino, we have to! Lovino!"
Lovino tugged Feliciano's arm. "I will throw you in a river."
"Lo-vin-no!"
Antonio clapped his hands together. "You don't have to decide right now. You can tell me after the show." He winked, but he didn't really seem to know how to wink, and he accidentally closed both eyes. "It's a really special one."
Feliciano gasped again.
...
A piece of dialog:
"Oh, Bastard, you look so dashing today!"
"Why thank you, mysterious, handsome stranger who does not resemble any persons living or dead!"
...
Lovino was struggling to keep the grin off his face. "What the hell was that?"
Antonio was smiling. "It was our date!"
"Why the fuck was I rock?" Lovino hid his smile behind his hand.
"Puppets are expensive and I am poor! I can, however, offer you a stunning private puppet show as a first date."
PUPPETS