The Pitfalls of Being an Insufferable Know-it-all

Seventeen

It was several hours later, following the discovery of the burning shack in the Forbidden Forest. I was back at home and he, or Severus, as I was now training myself to refer to him, had taken himself off to a 'prior engagement'. Naturally, he did not elaborate on what this engagement was, and of course, I would not have lowered myself to ask.

It didn't stop me wondering what he got up to in his spare time, though, or even in his professional time. I could count on one hand the number of personal snippets I'd gleaned about him during our recent acquaintance. The things we'd done… and yet I didn't even know where he lived. It seemed ridiculous, and part of me shrank at such impulsiveness I'd shown on my part. But, I must admit, a greater part of me secretly admired my lack of caution.

In any case, I was lying on the settee, in my dressing-gown, trying to read a novel, and had been for most of the evening. The fire crackled in the grate and my trusty wine glass was perched on the floor beside me. I don't mind admitting this was my most favourite pastime. Indeed, I could not imagine many better ways to spend my evenings — not during that part of my life, anyway.

When my tranquillity, such that it was, was interrupted by several sharp knocks on my front door, I shot upright and looked around wildly. No one ever knocked at my door. My friends nearly always used the Floo, and the only person to recently visit me unsolicited was, of course, him — Severus — the frequent object of my most roguish of thoughts.

I leapt to my feet and hurried to put the wine bottle back in the fridge and the contents of the glass down the sink. Why it should matter to me what he thought of my drinking habits, I didn't stop to contemplate. I was hardly a heavy drinker, but it seemed I was often to be found drinking in his presence.

Regretting my attire, I tugged tightly at the belt of my dressing gown and crossed to the door.

I was correct in my deduction, it was indeed he.

I opened my mouth to greet him, but he crossed over the threshold without a word.

'Good evening,' I said to the door, as I shut it.

'Look at this,' he demanded immediately, unfurling a large piece of parchment across the kitchen table.

It was his map of the British Isles that held record of our Tracking Charms. On it were the red markers that indicated the positions of the Augureys. Immediately, however, my eyes were drawn to two blue dots that were moving slowly across the country.

At my confused expression, he spoke.

'I altered the map to show the charms we used in the hut as blue markers — they've obviously taken some items away with them.'

I gaped happily, looking between him and the map. 'Well this is fantastic! This is the breakthrough we need!'

'Indeed.' I need hardly say his expression bore none of the animation mine did.

'What do we do? Should we —?'

'Granger, please,' he cut across impatiently, 'they're still moving; we're not going after them tonight.'

I huffed silently and folded my arms. 'I quite fancied a jaunt across the country in my pyjamas, you know.'

He entirely ignored my sarcasm, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't put out whenever he did that. He did it too often, I thought, resentfully. He set about folding up the map, and my eyes were drawn to his hands as he did so. I suddenly felt rather self-conscious standing there in my dressing gown. I also rather wished I'd kept the wine to hand for fortification.

'We need to exercise caution,' he continued, unaware of my inner ramblings, 'especially after what happened in the Forbidden Forest. We shall wait a few days and then we shall attempt to pinpoint the location. From there, we will proceed with foresight and forethought. '

'Very well,' I replied, unable to find a flaw in that plan.

'Do you have a broom?'

'A broom?'

'Yes, Granger; one of those wooden implements we use to propel ourselves through the sky.'

I scowled. 'Thank you, Severus; I know what a broom is. I meant why do I need one?'

I took pleasure in his little wince at my addressing of him.

'Well, unless you have managed to visit every single town and village in this country, whilst retaining an almost photographic memory of them, we will not be able to Apparate to wherever our quarry may be.'

Ah, I thought.

'I'm not one of your first-year dunderheads, you know,' I muttered, wondering now whether to return to the fridge for my wine bottle. 'Anyway, I have a car we can use.'

It was one thing floating through the trees, but the thought of zooming across the sky at speed, for miles, made my stomach twitch.

'A car?'

'Yes; what's wrong with a car?'

He said nothing, just shook his head as if he despaired of me.

'I don't have a broomstick, so, unless you have one we can share, I suggest we take the car.'

Ha! He couldn't ignore that one. I had to look away and bite my lip as his countenance drained at the thought of us sharing a broom. I never knew I had it in me to be so droll. Obviously he brought it out in me, but I was beginning to enjoy the triumph of a well delivered remark perhaps a little too much, if the glare I was receiving was anything to go by.

There was something else, then, that I could see in his expression too, something very suspicious and I found myself smiling despite myself.

'You were actually considering calling my bluff weren't you!'

I started laughing at his subsequent smirk. I tried to imagine what on earth I would have said if he had agreed to flying together.

'I've seen your gauche flying style, Granger; I thought about it, but it could not be borne.'

'Gauche,' I scoffed with no real outrage. 'That was the only reason, was it?' I raised my eyebrows.

It was his turn to scoff. 'You think a lot of yourself, don't you?'

I laughed resignedly and flipped up the palms of my hands. 'I give up.' I said, amused. 'You win.'

'No change there then.'

A little smirk played about his mouth as he placed his map within his robe. I was quickly becoming fond of that particular smirk. It was not quite a smile, but there was something almost shy about it, or perhaps, secretive was more apt. He was not a shy man by any stretch of the imagination, but secretive, by Merlin, he wrote the book on being that.

'I will bid you a good evening,' he proclaimed.

'Oh — you don't have to go.'

He was surprised, but so was I. The words had tripped out before I could temper them. Neither was I sure exactly what I was entreating him to stay for.

'I don't think that's a good idea.'

'Why?' I blurted, feeling my stomach sink at his frankness.

He shrugged his shoulders with a frown, and for a man who usually expressed himself with rather too much eloquence at times, I found this unusual.

'I like your company,' I stated plainly, feeling this was something I could admit without fearing I would regret it.

I looked for it, but his expression did not flicker. 'I think, perhaps, you spend too much time on your own, Granger.'

I felt myself go cold at that, but only because I had conceived that particular thought about myself before. He was a little too observant at times; because whilst I indulged often in introspection, I wasn't accustomed to hearing the observations of others. There was no particular bite to his tone, I was relieved to hear, and so I swallowed any indignation.

'Your point?' I asked plainly, as he turned to leave.

His eyes widened imperceptibly as he halted in his tracks. I expected he thought I would refute the point, but why should I? He was right, I did spend much time alone, but I failed to see the relevance in this instance.

He tried a different tack. 'Our association is to solve the matter of the Augureys, Granger. Let us not make it into anything more than it is. Once it is done, there will be little reason for us to ever cross paths again.'

'I see… You have no need for friends, do you, Severus?'

I was starting to walk on thin ice. I could tell it by the way his eyes hardened to granite and the way he rounded on me. I fancied he might now be regretting the moment he ever let me touch him, and what he'd subsequently unleashed, because it was clear that night together had entirely undone any restraint I had toward him.

'That is all I would like,' I clarified, 'for us to be friends.'

I found it difficult to maintain his hard stare in the end, so I occupied myself by crossing over to the sink. I thought about putting the kettle on, but in the end, I threw caution to the wind and refilled my hastily disposed of wine glass.

'I'll not be your friend,' he remarked coldly, after a pause.

I fought not to flinch at these words; indeed, I endeavoured to match his air of detachment as much as I could — outwardly, of course. Internally my courage started to quail, but I marshalled it before it deserted me.

'What will you be, then?' I asked. 'What were you the other night?'

It was a daring route for me to take, but being direct with him had served me well in the past. It proved to be true here, too, only somewhat indirectly. Suddenly, his ire seemed to dissipate and, instead, his look became more impatient. To my surprise, he approached me, whereupon he took my wine glass from me and filled it up further. Then, he tipped a large gulp of it down his throat.

It was several moments before he spoke. 'You are a remarkable woman, Hermione; let's just leave it at that.'

So saying he set the glass down with a clink and then he was gone. I couldn't have stopped him — I was left mute. I felt stupidly deafened by his words. They seemed to echo all around me, and yet, I could barely comprehend them.

Remarkable.

I'd never paid this particular adjective much thought before, indeed, in some ways, ironically, it was rather... unremarkable. But in that moment, in the context of him, I thought it the most beautiful word in the world. I could have floated, so pleased did I feel. He thought I was "remarkable"... I felt my whole body abuzz with pleasure.

However, his other words soon started filtering back through the haze and my light heartedness transposed itself slowly into a heavy weight. I had to remind myself that there could be no assumptions made... I'd already found out the hard way that what that man said and did could not always be reconciled.

The next few days seemed to drag inexorably. I was increasingly finding my concentration wavering, although, I always aimed to uphold my conscientiousness. But I found my thoughts wandered often to where we would end up tracking down those items taken from the poachers' hut. They wandered to Severus Snape, trying and failing to fathom him out. They wandered to the term remarkable rather too often, as well.

'Granger!' called out my boss, suddenly.

I got to my feet and stuck my head around the door to his office. 'Yes?'

'I need you to get over to St. Mungo's straightaway. I sent a team over to deal with an infestation of chizpurfles and by all accounts they've made a right pig's ear of it.'

I considered refusing. I'd done my time in pest control when I'd first started in the department, as everyone did. However, I'd progressed beyond such menial tasks, until of course the events of recent months.

As I considered the old man behind his desk, with his quivering moustache and grizzled hair, I found I could no longer be bothered to argue.

He was right, it was chaos when I got there. I found my colleagues high up in the hospital, in the roof space where the chizpurfles had started attacking all manner of old magical equipment.

I didn't miss the sour looks that passed between certain people when my presence became known.

'Have you been using magic in here?' I demanded. 'You know you can't do that with chizpurfles — we will have to lift everything the Muggle way!'

I fought not to sigh as I started assisting them in pulling out dusty equipment, chests, cupboards and all manner of items in order to get the chizpurfle repellent in every corner. It took ages, indeed, several hours passed before we were finally able to seal the area in the hope everything had been contained, and there was little risk of the whole hospital becoming infested, I leant against a wall and closed my eyes.

Was this really all I was good for, I wondered?

I was the last to climb down the ladder back into the building proper. I let my colleagues trudge off without me; it had long since passed five o'clock so there was no point returning to the Ministry. I waved a charm over me to remove all manner dust and cobwebs from my hair and robes. I was looking forward to heading home when a voice called out.

'Hermione!'

It was Neville, returning from visiting his parents. 'Neville!' I beamed happily.

Neville had been one of the few people to have supported my ecological survey at the outset and I hadn't seen him since it had been shelved. We walked together to the Leaky Cauldron, and after the day I'd had, I was hoping to Apparate straight home, but when he suggested we have a drink, I found I didn't have it in me to refuse.

'I'm starting a new job at St Mungo's soon,' he announced happily.

Of course, I was immensely pleased for him — wholeheartedly — and I congratulated him. However, there was also a voice in the back of my mind telling me that I might now have found a useful connection to have. I was thinking of the future enquiries that might have to be directed towards the hospital if I continued my work beyond the matter of the Augureys.

'How's life in Level 4?' he asked with a commiserating smile.

'They're piling me up with the basics,' I groaned, twisting the stem of my glass with my fingers. 'Trying to keep me out of trouble.'

'Is it really dead in the water, then? I saw it all in the Prophet, of course.'

'For the time being, yes,' I answered vaguely. I felt a little awkward dissembling about it.

'You'll get there, Hermione; I've always admired your determination. '

I smiled appreciatively. 'Thanks, Neville.'

I felt very warm inside suddenly, but I wasn't thinking of Neville, or even what he had said. The word remarkable was reverberating ominously around my brain.

He drained his glass and smiled. 'You've never been afraid to go and get what you want.'

I hoped my cheeks did not heat up too much at those words.

When he took his leave, I gave him a hug and promised to speak to him soon. I reached for my bag and scarf, and as I flicked my hair over my shoulder, I happened to spot something else I wanted. He could only have just walked in and I froze as our eyes met. I flung my bag over my shoulder and stepped over to him.

'Fancy seeing you in here, Severus,' I observed. 'Not stalking me, I hope?'

'Trust me, Granger, if I were stalking you then you would be the last person to know about it.'

I bit my lip. 'That's a bit alarming, actually.'

He lifted his shoulders, unbothered. 'Recruiting Longbottom to your cause already, are you?'

'Why do you say that?'

'His new role at St Mungo's, of course.'

He had to make me ask, of course. 'How do you know he's going to be working there?'

'I have my ways and means,' he replied enigmatically.

I shook my head wearily. He was infuriating, but I wasn't going to humour him by pressing the matter. 'Speaking of St. Mungo's, I have had a piss-poor day. I have spent the afternoon up in the roof of St Mungos fighting chizpurfles. I feel like I may even have swallowed one'. I grimaced.

'Ah, I wondered what was crawling through your hair...'

I squeaked and flicked at my hair. Too late did i spot the gleam of amusement in his eyes.

I sighed. 'I will hex you one day, you know.'

'I'll be waiting.'

I shook my head in defeat. 'Have you looked at the map recently? Where are we likely to be travelling this weekend?'

'The last I checked they were stationary somewhere in Gloucestershire.' He glanced around our vicinity to see whether there was anyone nearby, then he pulled out the parchment. He didn't unfold it fully, only so much that the bottom of the country was on display.

'They've moved again,' I mused, finding the county of Gloucestershire free of markings.

I scanned further along, until my eyes alighted on the blue dots, which were now as a stop in Wiltshire.

'Can you expand the area?' I urged quickly.

He tapped his wand and the map zoomed in on itself. The blue markers now hovered over a small village in the middle of the county. I felt my blood freeze, and for a moment I could only stare.

There was a low mutter of 'fuck' as he stuffed the parchment back into his robe. I stared at him now with wide eyes and he took hold of my upper arm.

'Let's go,' he said, as I dumbly allowed myself to be directed outside.

When we reached the courtyard behind the pub, I felt my brain judder into action. 'It might just be a coincidence…'

It was quite obvious from his expression that Severus Snape did not believe in coincidences. To be entirely frank, I didn't either.

'Apparate us outside of the house,' he instructed. 'Just in case.'

I nodded, and swallowing a lump of dread, I Apparated us into the front garden. It was immediately apparent it was no coincidence. There, propped up against my own doorstep, were two rickety old broomsticks.

Brooms that we both knew were from that hut we'd discovered in the Forbidden Forest.

When my companion took a step forward, I immediately shot out a hand to forestall him. 'They could be inside…'

'Good,' he stated, shaking my arm off to continue onward.

'Wait!' I hissed, catching his arm again. 'It's my house, I'm going in first.'

His face twisted with impatience. 'For the love of… Really, Granger; we're going to do this now, are we?'

'Yes,' I snapped, pushing on in front of him with my wand poised.

I heard a low grumble, but he let me proceed. The house was shrouded in darkness, of course, and I could sense that my Locking charms were intact. We halted at the front door and considered the brooms. There appeared to be no jinxes on the broom, but nevertheless, we both aimed Finite Incantatem spells at them to be sure. I pushed open the door and illuminated every single light I could think of.

The house was small; it took no time to establish that we were alone. Severus went to check around the back, whilst I sank onto the settee and contemplated my hands. He returned with a shake of his head.

'It was just a message,' he observed.

I tugged my hand through my hair and sighed deeply with frustration. 'Well, message received loud and clear.'

So, they obviously had recognised me at least in the Forbidden Forest. But what about my partner in crime? I thought. What 'message' were they likely to send him?

I leapt to my feet and spelled the kettle to boil, feeling all manner of emotions – fear, frustration, disappointment, and yes, determination.

'The question is, what message to do we send in reply?' I mused.

I looked to my companion, but he only shook his head, as if unsure.

All I knew was that it was going to take rather more than two rickety broomsticks to put me off.

AN: Thanks for the reviews : )