Disclaimer: Not. No.
The next morning at breakfast, an owl flopped in with a red envelope and made its way over to Ron, and flopped down exhaustedly on the table. It had been sent way earlier, but Errol was not in great shape as an owl, and it took him that long to meander over to Hogwarts from Ottery-St. Catchpole. The red envelope started smoking and a loud, piercing shriek erupted from it.
"RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY, HOW DARE YOU CALL THE SLYTHERINS SLIMEY SNAKES, I"
And the howler exploded. Professor McGonagall put away her wand, but remained standing.
"Students, if you have a parent that tends to send howlers, please let them know right now that this will no longer be tolerated. The rules against bullying behavior also apply to your parents. And they may ask her – after today – if they wish to know what the consequences will be for violating this rule."
Ron was gobsmacked. A professor stood up for him? He was going to have to think about this.
Many things happened after this breakfast. Many students read their copy of the Daily Prophet, where they found out that many more people – some parents of students – had been arrested and were being tried as death eaters. A few had already been sent through the veil. Some other students decided to take a walk around outside – apparently some of the girls had, since the restrictions on bullying had been put into place, decided to run around the lake to get some exercise. Harry was getting ready for his long- awaited outing with Dumbledore. And McGonagall was readying a surprise of her own for one loud-mouthed but well-meaning mother.
Arthur and Molly Weasley were walking through Diagon Alley, getting some magical supplies. Arthur wanted to look at the latest brooms, and Molly needed to replace some magical cookware (which were different than cauldrons). Just as they were about to walk into Enchanted Spatula City (with a large picture of a goofy looking guy with a long face and curly hair holding a spatula and saying "We have spatulas!"), an owl approached with a large red envelope.
The owl dropped the envelope and flew away, and it started smoking. The envelope, not the owl. A couple of seconds later, the voice of deputy headmistress McGonagall boomed out throughout Diagon Alley, causing everyone in the alley to stop and turn around to stare at the couple. Some people even came out of their places of business to watch the spectacle.
"MOLLYWOBBLES IGNOTIA HAGGIS PREWETT WEASLEY, I HAVE TOLD YOU THAT WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO SEND HOWLERS TO STUDENTS AT HOGWARTS, AND YOU CHOSE TO IGNORE ME. I HAVE OPTED TO SEND THIS AT THE MOST EMBARRASSING TIME FOR YOU, AND IF YOU CHOOSE TO SEND ANOTHER HOWLER AND EMBARRASS YOUR SON AT SCHOOL, OR FOR ANY REASON AT ALL, I WILL COME OVER PERSONALLY AND TAKE YOU OVER MY KNEE. IF YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DISCIPLINE YOUR SON, THEN YOU WILL COME TO SCHOOL OR SEND A NORMAL LETTER LIKE EVERY OTHER PARENT. I HOPE I HAVE MADE MYSELF CLEAR, BECAUSE IF I HAVE NOT, I WILL TAN YOUR HIDE."
Molly cringed. She had been on the receiving end of McGonagall's discipline before.
The howler turned towards Arthur and softened considerably.
"GOOD MORNING ARTHUR, I HOPE YOU ARE WELL, YOU ALWAYS WERE A GOOD BOY. IF I NEED TO TAN YOUR WIFE'S HIDE, I'LL LET YOU WATCH. HAVE A NICE DAY."
Arthur hid a smile. He knew his wife's pride would be hurt. He also thought she deserved every last bit of what she had just gotten. Maybe if he couldn't keep her in line, her old transfiguration teacher could.
The rest of the alley chucked quietly, and went about their business.
Molly, without another word, dragged Arthur back to the apparition point. She wouldn't be seen in Diagon Alley for quite a while after that.
But she pinked a little at thought of her hide being tanned. Arthur didn't notice.
Scene Change
It was a chilly day, overcast and threatening to drop things from the sky.
Ron had his broom and was going out to the quidditch pitch for some flying, when he spotted a pack of Slytherin girls running around the lake. He definitely noticed their physical attributes, but the girl stopped him dead in his tracks.
She was wearing an orange Chudley Cannons shirt.
Slimy snake, or no, he was in love.
He had suddenly found another interest other than quidditch and eating.
Making note of who she was for further reference, he trudged on to the quidditch pitch, little hearts flashing in his eyes.
Scene Change
A lone bird was sitting in a branch on the outskirts of the forbidden forest. None of the other birds would come near. He whistled a discordant, mournful melody, and all of the critters on the floor ran for their lives. It was, sadly, a very lonely bird. It would have lots more friends if it could just sing a slightly more cheerful song – when a melody meshes, it can even be a counterpoint while still mixing with the rest of the melodies. It had yet to learn that the other birds would be far more likely to let it join in on their melodies if it would just make some attempt to not be completely disagreeable. It sighed, ruffled its feathers, and preened itself, philosophizing on its miserable existence.
It was a cursed life being a RudeReviewerBird.
Scene Change
Luna and Hermione also were taking a walk. Luna grabbed Hermione's hand, and Hermione pulled it away.
Luna looked at Hermione, hurt in her eyes, and withdrew into herself. Hermione saw the change in mannerism, and sat down on a bench – actually, the same one that Luna had first cried with Harry on. The giant squid was more subdued today, through merpeople still kept randomly flying out of the lake yelling "weeeeeee!". She pulled Luna down with her, and Luna sat.
"Luna, you know that some people might get the wrong idea..." The interactions with Luna the night before had been heavy on her mind. Most of the house had seen them cuddling like two lovers.
Luna's lip quivered.
"My mother used to hug me. She hugged me, and cuddled with me, and held my hand."
She turned to look at Hermione, her big, silvery eyes boring deep into Hermione's.
"I'm not your mum, Luna."
"I know you're not my mum, Hermione Granger. But it hurts. I'm just Looney Lovegood to most. I miss that the most about my mum... after she died, no one would hug me anymore."
"Not even your father?"
"My father was never the touchy type – and after my mum died, he withdrew more."
Hermione sat there, thoughtfully. Luna's sadness was threatening to spill over.
"I love to hug and cuddle, Hermione Granger. I know that some will see in it what they want to, but to me what good is having a friend if you cannot cuddle with them?"
"Just to make sure, Luna, you're not -"
Luna giggled sadly. "Oh, heavens no! I like wands, not holsters. But why does being affectionate with someone have to mean.. that?"
Hermione sighed. Luna was right, and she knew it. Damn it.
She reached over and took Luna's hand, and squeezed it.
They stood up, and walked down the lane, hand in hand. Luna looked much happier. She looked at Hermione as she walked.
"Thank you, Hermione Granger", she said, one tear dripping down her cheek before she could catch it. "Harry may be my future husband, but you are my sister now."
Hermione looked at Luna, shocked. She had been an only child. She had never had a sister.
"Do you mean it, Luna?", she asked, and this time it was her that the tears were threatening.
Luna stopped, and looked deep into Hermione's brown eyes.
"With everything I have, Hermione Granger. We are sisters."
Hermione's defenses crumbled, and she hugged Luna, sobbing. Finally, she wiped her eyes.
"I've always wanted a sister", she said, with a combination of amazement and sadness.
Luna smiled, and the two new sisters continued their walk, hand in hand.
"Does that mean Harry is my brother?"
"He has always been your brother, Hermione. He loves you at least as much as a brother loves a sister. Perhaps more. If I were not here he would marry you in less than a heartbeat. Never forget that. He would die to protect you and not think twice about it."
Hermione spent the rest of their walk deep in thought while Luna chattered about crumple-horned snorkacks.
Scene Change
Harry met Dumbledore in his office at 9 AM sharp, and they headed for Diagon Alley.
As they walked through the alley, they could hear a loud yelling sound in the background. It sounded as if someone was threatening to tan someone else's hide. Dumbledore smirked, but kept moving. It sounded like McGonagall was making her displeasure known. Finally they found their way to Gringotts.
As they walked in, Harry saw Griphook, and called out a greeting. Griphook sneered and walked away.
Dumbledore said, quietly, "Goblins are required to give you their name if asked, but they don't really like it when humans use them. It's seen as an attempt to gain power from them. Don't use their names if you can help it, and it's even better if you don't ask."
"But I didn't ask the first time -", Harry started.
"The teller would have said his name in gobbledegook if he had truly not wanted you to know. That goblin had done something to be disfavored in the teller's eyes, to have said his English name in full hearing of a human."
Harry nodded. Goblins are not your friend. Noted.
They walked up to the teller.
"We need the services of the Potter account manager", Dumbledore said.
"Key."
Dumbledore provided the key, which the teller inspected. He then handed it back, and Dumbledore gave it to Harry. "You should have had that a long time ago", he said sadly.
The teller got up and wordlessly walked away. He got to a door, then stood there, sneering, "Well, are you going to come or not?"
They followed the Goblin into a hallway with some offices, and made their way to the door of a simple office.
"Deposit your wands here, lock the box, and take the key with you", the goblin said, pointing at a small drop box just outside the office with a key already inserted.
They did so and walked into the office. There were two chairs, a desk, and no other decorations.
They did not sit down. Dumbledore explained, "To sit down before a Goblin is seen as disrepectful." Harry nodded.
Finally a Goblin walked in. It did not offer its name, and they did not ask.
"What can I do for you?", the Goblin asked brusquely, showing sharp teeth.
"Mr. Potter needs an inheritance test and an account audit."
The Goblin nodded curtly, and produced a small gadget with runes etched into every exposed surface.
"Touch here", he said, pointing to a finger-shaped area on the device. He did, and there was a small, not very noticeable prick.
A piece of parchment slid out of the device, with unintelligible codes printed on it. "Take this to the Ministry of Magic, they will be able to tell you if there are any vaults you are entitled to. Ten Galleons will be withdrawn from your account for this service. Now for the account audit..."
He grunted and tabbed a few runes on the device, and out came another few pieces of parchment, this with some far more intelligible writing. "This is a list of all of your current holdings. If there are other vaults, return with the claim form signed by the appropriate person at the ministry, and those vaults will be transferred into your name. Will there be anything else?"
"Did my parents have a will?", he said.
"If they did, it will be at the Ministry. We do not handle wills, though there may be a copy in your vault."
Dumbledore sighed. "The will was sealed by the minister at the time, Harry. But perhaps with the help of Madame Bones, we can get it unsealed."
Harry nodded, and the Goblin appeared quite upset that his time was being wasted with idle chit-chat. So with sufficient haste, they retrieved their wands and walked out of Gringotts.
Their next stop was the Ministry of Magic, where Harry and Dumbledore went up to see Madame Bones. Normally at 9:30 AM on a Saturday she would not be there, but she had been doing a lot of work trying to mop up the death eater problem, and Dumbledore had asked in advance, so there she was.
They sat down.
Madame Bones smiled at him, a somewhat predatory smile but he knew he hadn't done anything wrong.
"I owe you some thanks, Harry, if indirectly. Based upon what Dumbledore here has told me, it was the fact that you were entered against your will into the tournament that allowed me to break the whole death eater case wide open. It turned out Crouch was the first death eater that I'd been able to interrogate properly, and it also turned out that all of the other interrogations had been... disappeared.
Harry nodded. "I'm sure we'll be a lot better off when they're out of the picture."
"Yes, but there are many who sympathize who never became death eaters. And we think Voldemort is still on the loose. So don't get too complacent."
Dumbledore said "We have other business, Amelia. Harry's parents had a will, but for 'national security' reasons the will was sealed. Can you help us to unseal it?"
Amelia smiled. "That shouldn't be a problem, but I'm going to have to read it first to make sure that the sealing was not justified. Knowing the incompetence and corruption of previous administrations, though...", she growled.
Dumbledore nodded. A sensible precaution.
"Also any chance that we can have someone check these inheritance results?" He handed the paper to Amelia.
She stood up, and they all walked down to the Department of Magical Inheritance.
She got a copy of the will without too much trouble, and read it. As she read it, her eyes widened, and face full of rage, she had a certified copy made by the clerk.
"Amelia?", Dumbledore asked.
"Contained here is strong evidence that Sirius Black was innocent."
Dumbledore looked surprised. "Of course he was! I cast the Fidelius!"
She looked at him with fire in her eyes. "And you didn't tell anyone?"
"Of course, I did, Amelia! I spent years fighting with Fudge and the Wizengamot to get them to believe me, but since they'd sealed the will and Sirius was in Azkaban, there was no way to prove it. Finally they told me if I didn't shut up about it they'd get me removed as chief of the wizengamot and find someone more malleable."
"You could have come to me!"
"Would you have believed me?"
Amelia thought. "You're right. Probably not." She visibly deflated. "May I use your memories as evidence?"
"Absolutely, Amelia."
They handed the inheritance test results to the clerk, and after she analyzed them, Harry found that he inherited a few small lines, but nothing huge. He discovered that he was Lord Potter, but that that really didn't mean anything but an inherited wizengamot seat that he couldn't take until he was of age and a few other small benefits. He also discovered that he was distantly related to all four founders, but they told him that nearly everyone in the wizarding world could claim the same.
They thanked Amelia and the clerk, and after saying their goodbyes, left the building.
A few minutes later, Sirius walked into the ministry as a dog and found his way to Amelia's office.
She looked quizically at the big dog with a goofy expression, and started when it morphed into the visage of Sirius Black.
"Hello, Amelia. I'm here to take you up on your offer."
A few minutes later, she had him in a cell and was preparing veritaserum.
A few more minutes later, Amelia hastily convened a trial.
An hour later, Sirius was a free man. He was convicted of being an unregistered animagus, but his time in Azkaban was applied, and he was sentenced to time served with no fine. That left three years of unjust imprisonment, and the ministry gave him his auror salary for those three years and an honorable discarge on his record. Part of the condition for the money, though, was that he was required to spend six months inpatient at a mind healer's in order to deal with the effects of his incarceration.
Who said there weren't happy endings?
A/N - Happy ending for Sirius, not for the story.
I've been meaning to write these scenes for a while. Particularly with the interaction between the Goblins and the Ministry. I cannot say how much I hate how the Goblins seem to have taken over for what the ministry should be doing in almost every fanfic I've read. There should be some pretty thorough treaties that delineate responsibilities.
And the whole "blood test on parchment" thing? Oh, please.
Now for a slightly less pleasant matter. I thank everyone for the positive reviews, and even for the constructive criticism. As you can tell, I take that very seriously, and if I like your suggestions and corrections, I'll implement them. It makes the story immeasurably better, because otherwise I'll forget plot points. Seriously – a few plot points are here literally because of reviews.
But even after around two hundred nice reviews, I got a really obnoxious one – and in PM, the person was even more obnoxious. As near I as I could tell, this person was upset because I don't "ship" H/Hr, because it's just meandering all over the place, and because the composer birds stink.
Yes, it is meandering all over the place. I've made zero secret of that. I only take this story seriously (Siriusly?) enough to advance plot points and keep relatively good grammar. Otherwise, who cares? Frankly, JK Meandered all over the place too, introducing random plot points whenever she felt like it.
And I don't ship. I could have just as easily written H/Hr – in fact, this story is kind of H/LL/Hr except that H/Hr will never insert tab A into slot B – it will be a relationship possibly even closer than that. It's already heading that way. So if you're upset that I'm not going to insert Harry's tab A into Hermione's slot B at some point in the future, then kindly think about why you read fanfiction in the first place and don't darken my review page with your tripe, alright? As my disclaimers have made perfectly clear – I don't get paid to write, you don't get paid to read, so just chill out and learn to have fun.
And as far as the composerbirds go, well, today's should say exactly how I feel about that.
One review said this should be an M. I don't agree. I will switch it to an M the minute I do anything more than heavily imply that any event of an adult nature has occurred. Which won't happen anytime soon between H/LL pr H/Hr. It might happen between other characters. I will switch it if or when that happens. If a few more people agree that it should be M, though, I will acquiesce and switch it. To be perfectly clear, Luna is absolutely, entirely, innocent. She knows about sex intellectually, she can even joke about it, but when push comes to shove, she just wants to be loved right now.
Don't we all?
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