Hello! This monster of a fic is a gift to Lizzy! Girl, I had a hard time writing for you, not because I didn't have ideas but because I had thousands and I had to choose really carefully to make this special and I choose Wolfstar because my brain just begged me to write something for them even though I am not very experiencied with writing slash. But I decided to write a SoulmateAU just for you.
I hope that you, Lizzy and all the ones reading this, had great holidays and that their year is filled to the brim with bliss.
If you all want to get into the vibe I had while writing this monster of twelve pages, there you go, here is the soundtrack I used in order (More or less):
1. No Resolve - Dancing with your ghost. (This one settled the mood for me)
2. My Darkest Days - Without you
3. My Darkest Days - Can't Forget You.
4. Breaking Benjamin - The Dark of You.
5. No Name Faces - Silence.
Lizzy, I did try to find inspiration in your favourite bands but the tune was too upbeat and cheerful for me to find something for this sad piece. I did try.
T because of Sirius Innuendos and Remus' D word.
'a' are thoughts, ok. I'm pretty sure this is clear, but just in case.
Disclaimer: Nope, Harry Potter doesn't belong to me. It belongs to the genius of J.K Rowling.
See you later
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Remus stared at the words carved into the back of his arm. The words were done in a very stylish silver colour that contrasted quite sharply with the sloppiness of the letters themselves. It was oddly beautiful and he thought that were it not for the meaning behind his fated mark, he might have liked it at one point.
As it was, he didn't like it. To be more precise, Remus hated it. He knew that these were the last words that his soulmate would ever tell him. It was like that for every witch and wizard: upon their eleventh birthday they would receive a mark with the last words of their soulmate, which he supposed was pretty unfair in and on itself because it meant that you only got to be sure that you had a soulmate once you lost them for good.
It was unfair.
It was horrible.
And yet, Remus thought that his mark was worse, much worse, because his mark said 'I love you'. Not some idiotic remark like Sirius 'Sirius, don't-' or his name like James' 'James!', not even a 'Be careful' like Frank's.
It was 'I love you'.
'I love you'
It tasted bitter on his tongue, it burnt his lungs. He hated it.
"It looks pretty to me." Sirius had said from his position sitting on the rug by Remus' legs, one of his fingers tracing over the raised letters. "It isn't tacky like mine, at least. Mine is bright red. And who the hell shouts 'Sirius, don't' as parting words? That's pretty lame" he smiled, his handsome face lit up by the candle light of the Gryffindor Common Room. "Yours sounds like a dramatic death."
"It might be pretty, but I really don't like it." Sirius looked pensive for a moment and then he nodded. "Besides, I'd prefer not to have my soulmate die a dramatic death on me, really."
"Yeah, I think that would suck a bit."
"Just a bit?"
"Just a bit, I still think that having 'Sirius, don't-' is worse. Makes it seem like I'll kill them or that I will be doing something bad… at least this way you know that they will like you. Besides, see it this way: it means you are guaranteed to knowing and perhaps having a significant relationship with your soulmate, friends, at the very least."
"I never thought of it like that, really. Even so, the whole business sucks." He nodded to himself, looking over the book he had been peacefully reading before getting interrupted and into Sirius' grey eyes.
"I agree and that is why we should talk about some other things. McGonagall essay being a prime example…"
"Tell me you finished it!" Remus demanded, scandalised.
"I finished it." Sirius smiled wickedly as he said it, fully giving away that he hadn't, in fact, done such a thing.
"Sirius!"
"What? You told me to tell you that! You cannot be mad at me for following your orders!"
"It's due tomorrow!"
"That's why I need your help, actually."
Remus closed his eyes, shaking his head with a rueful smile before sighing tiredly, further slumping into his seat because knowing Sirius he'd probably had written a couple of sentences and left it off at that and he really, really, really would prefer to just sit away the rest of his afternoon. Even so…
"Give here what you've got. Honestly, this is the last time I do this." He added in a fake stern tone even though he knew that he was lying to himself. He was incapable of denying Sirius anything.
"Yay!" He stood up with a jump, pumping his fist into the air before he ran all the way up to the boy's dormitory, going through the stairs two at a time.
Remus shook his head and fetched a bookmarker from his pocket, briefly glancing at the pages before sticking it in.
Sometimes he swore that Sirius was actually five instead of thirteen.
He turned away from his arm, from the memories, shaking his head violently as he tried once again to find sleep which was as elusive as it had always been. He remembered warm arms wrapping around him and soft hands carding through his hair, remembered whispered sweet nothings... he shook his head once again, hoping to get the yearning out of his system before it tore him apart at the seams.
He hated it. He hated seeing them; hated having them written on his arm.
He hated hearing it.
He heard it all the time now. It hurt to hear it, it burn. His chest constricting so badly that he felt like he was going to keel over from the pain.
It was like a chant, repeating itself all over his head, mocking him, taunting him. 'I love you I love you I love you I love you…' It is non-stop and it burns each time.
He hated it.
"Moony what are you doing here?" Remus startled; his hold on the book he was reading to pass the time loosening and it fell to the floor with a flop. "It is late." He added for good measure, walking the rest of the distance separating them. He looked rumpled and dishevelled, his grey eyes fuzzy and unfocused with sleep.
"I couldn't sleep." Remus answered with a soft voice, echoes of the dream that woke him up going through his mind. He was haunted by the distressing thoughts; thoughts of his wolf form breaking free from its chamber, of his claw tearing and ripping into someone else's flesh, of his jaws mauling someone's throat.
He shivered, cold that had nothing to do with the autumn chill gnawing at his entrails and he brought his cocoa closer to try and steal some sort of warmth from it.
"Huh? You are in luck, I can't sleep either!" The animagus gave Remus a thumb up. "Pass some cocoa and make some room on the couch, mate."
"Huh? Hey, what are you doing?!" He blushed, his whole face going as red as the Gryffindor's logo when the other boy lifted the blanket and hopped into his small refuge, impossibly close.
"What does it look like? I'm cuddling with my best friend!" With that the animagus threw an arm around his shoulders and settled beside him, a content smile on his lips.
Remus 'meeped', his face going even redder as his heart tried to beat right through his ribs and into the open air. However, he soon became used to having the other curled up around him and he shuffled to get even more comfortable, the book open in front of them so they could both read.
That was how James found them in the morning, with Sirius curled around Remus like a boa constrictor and the book they had been reading on Remus' chest.
'It is just a house, Remus, you can do this. Just a house, you can do it' He thought, his insides feeling like lead as he fought to remember how to put one foot in front of the other. But Number Twelve of Grimmauld Place wasn't just a house. It was Sirius'...
He couldn't bear to look at the house, even from the outside, from the street across, he wasn't capable to look at it, his knees quaked and he was sick and he couldn't… he couldn't… couldn't… because it was wrong and empty and just plain bad and he… he couldn't look at it and he wanted to run all over again, his quaking legs begging to turn tail, his lungs burning...
And yet he entered, his body shaking so much that he actually had to brace onto the door for support once he locked it behind him. He was sure he looked pathetic, weak, but he couldn't quite help the way his legs folded underneath him, his hands coming to cover his mouth as a new surge of sobs took over his whole frame. It was everywhere. He was everywhere. In the lounge, in the couch, in the kitchen, sitting at the table and he wasn't there.
Sirius wasn't there.
He wasn't anywhere.
He hated it.
'I love you' Tore into his insides, making the hole inside his chest deeper.
It had taken Remus a couple of days before he gathered enough courage to go to Sirius' hiding place after the man's first contact. Those days had been filled with doubt, with self-questioning, with recriminations and self-deprecating and it had taken him embarrassingly long to get over all his doubts and go to the forest Sirius mentioned in his letter. Enough that he'd feared –and secretly hoped- that Sirius had left.
When he did gather his courage, he'd stood there for approximately ten minutes, just staring at the green leaves of the trees surrounding the cave that Sirius chose to hide in. One part of him was trying to come up with things to say after twelve years being away from each other while the other tried to convince his legs to kick up gear and start moving. Neither was having much of a success and as result Remus just stood there like a fool hoping that by some miracle that half-munched leaf could give him some ideas, if not some courage to keep going.
To say that he was unfamiliar with this kind of nervousness would be a lie; hell, the first day of teaching he'd stood at a whole hallway of the classroom he would be teaching in for close to fifteen minutes just trying to come up with anything he could say as a welcoming speech, because suddenly the one he had rehearsed countless times in front of the mirror just didn't feel right anymore.
But these jitters were worse, because it wasn't a bunch of kids waiting for him in a classroom; it was Sirius, his former –current? - best friend who he had, for all intent and purposes, abandoned to twelve years in hell all the time believing him to be the worst sort of traitor while he suffered long, cold years on a cell paying for a crime he did not commit. And he was sure, positive that no amount of hugging and bittersweet reunions and stuttered apologies and explanations while holding the true responsible at wand-point could ever make up for that. No matter how much Sirius said that he wanted to see him and that he was welcome to come any time, the man was bound to feel some resentment after his supposed best friend threw him to the wolves. He… was bound to hate him.
He kept walking. He did not want to think about Sirius hating him, even so, the thought sneaked on him, taunting him, mocking him. Surely, Sirius hated him for never believing in him. And even in the very unlikely possibility that he didn't…
They were strangers, for all they knew each other anymore.
And it hurt.
It hurt very much.
"Remus, my man, how have you been?" Remus startled, turning from his leaf-staring to the place the voice had come from. Sirius didn't seem to know that he should hate him. His smile was bright, his eyes sparkling. "Are you going to come in or you'd rather stand out there all day? Just askin' 'cause it seems like it's going to rain soon and I'd like not to get my arse wet, thank you!" He asked, still with that cheerful smile.
His breath hitched, hands clenching at his side into fists as all the words he planned for this moment died on his tongue. There stood Sirius, smiling at him, looking far better and healthier than any sane person that spent twelve years in Azkaban had any right look. Were it not for the yellow teeth and the new lines mapping his friend's face, Remus would have thought that it was the old Sirius looking at him.
Remus' eyes watered.
"What's up, Moony? Cat's got your tongue?" The werewolf gulped, trying to speak through the huge knot in his throat.
"No, it's… it's… You look better." He said haltingly and he was relieved when he heard Sirius' chuckle.
"Some decent clothes, baths, food and not having creepy beings sucking my happiness every hour work miracles." He chuckled again, his grey eyes shining with mirth at Remus' blush. "So what, anything new to tell me? I'm sure that these twelve years have been interesting…" He cocked his head to the side, looking very much like the animal his animagus form represented. Remus for his part flinched at the subtle reminder of his friend's absence.
"Sirius… I…" The words stuck on his tongue once again. He wanted to say so many things… He wanted to apologise for so many things…
"Padfoot, call me Padfoot, Moony, please." The tone of his voice is soft, almost pleading, his voice breaking a bit at the end and Remus' breath hitched in his chest. It was way more than for him to use a name, it was a plea for silence, a plea for him to not say all that he had in mind, a plea for him to listen and to understand; the forgiveness he sought and an apology at the same time. Forgiveness for not believing in Sirius
"Padfoot."
"Good, now, do you want to come to my cave or what?" And like that, all tension bled away from the former inmate shoulders and he smiled once again, leading the way to the cave he'd been using as shelter for some days.
It took him some time to move from the door. When he did, he kept his eyes fixed on the ground, trying not to look anywhere in fear that he would see Sirius there. He went up the stairs, down the hall and into Sirius' room. His motions felt pre-programmed, autonomic, his heart beating a soft tempo of 'whoosh, whoosh' that resounded in his ears as he tried to keep his fingers from shaking and his legs from folding underneath him once again.
It took all he had to not break down to pieces when he opened the door to Sirius' room.
He was here to sort through Sirius' things.
The idea sickened him, bile swimming up his throat and into his mouth before he really could process it.
'I love you I love you I love you I love you'
"I thought about inviting Harry over for Christmas, what do you say, Moony?* I don't like the idea of him spending this Christmas at Hogwarts." Sirius said suddenly, looking up from the waffles he had been munching on and to Remus, who was sipping on his hot cocoa.
"Huh? It is your home; you can invite whoever you want." Remus answered with a baffled expression. Sirius huffed, his fork digging into the waffles with such strength that one might thing that they'd offended him.
"It is not only my home, is it? You live here!" He pointed towards the counter where a mug with the words 'best werewolf ever' sat innocently enough and also towards the shirt lying carelessly behind him on the couch to further affirm his point.
"I don't get to decide who you spent Christmas with."
"Moony" Sirius narrowed his eyes with suspicion. "You do plan to stay here over Christmas, right?" Remus frowned.
"I'm not sure, to be honest." Sirius looked aghast.
"You have to stay! I demand it. What is more, I hereby declare that you are unable to leave the house, period." Remus for his part only smirked, part amused and part moved that his friend wanted him here so badly.
"Not even to go for groceries? That might be a bit hard. We are running low on bacon, after all." He said in a fake pensive tone knowing that Sirius absolutely adored bacon.
"You get to go, but only for groceries and you have to pinky promise that you will come back." Remus laughed as he watched his friend nod with conviction.
"Pinky promises… what are you, five?"
"My mum was quite convinced I stopped maturing at that age, so maybe?" He looked pensive and then he shook his head. "Anyway, I'm serious, you have to pinky promise. No one can break a pinky promise. Cross my heart and hope to die and all those things. "He nodded with vigour.
"Yeah, sure, what if I had other plans for Christmas, what would you do then?" He didn't have, not really.
"Then I'll duel whoever dares to try and rob you from me. Or I'll sing… surely my beautiful singing prowess will be able to convince you of staying." He seemed quite convinced too and then he started singing, just to prove his point. "I'll have a Blue Christmas without you; I'll be so blue just thinking about you!" He was horribly loud and off key and just hearing him sing made Remus' ears want to puke.
"Okay, okay, I'll surrender. I surrender and I promise to stay over at Christmas with you! Just stop singing for the love of all that's magic."
"See? Told ya it would work." He smirked at Remus' frown. "Seriously, though, this is your home too, Rems. Don't you dare to think otherwise."
Remus felt his cheeks warming, his eyes stinging.
Home, he had a home.
He didn't know how he ended up on top of Sirius' bed of all things. It smelt of him. It smelt of sandalwood and pine, and of a deep, murky smell that his advanced sense of smell categorized as purely 'Sirius'. He nuzzled into the pillow, closing his eyes and with his chest rumbling. Like this, surrounded by his smell, he could almost imagine Sirius' arms around him, his chest under his head. He could almost feel thin fingers carding through his hair and the sweet rumble of his voice as he spoke. It reminded him of stormy nights, and of pain and of nights filled with nightmares, but also of nights when comfort was forthcoming, when he could be sure that he had someone there to assure him that the monster inside him lived just inside his dreams.
He missed him. He missed him so badly it hurt.
'I love you'
He gritted his teeth, arms tightening around the pillow so much that he swore he was going to tear it in two, a lone tear falling from his eye and onto the mattress beneath.
He'd been strong when Harry had demanded it. He'd held onto the boy and carded his fingers through his short hair, muttering soft things into his hair as his whole frame shook with rib wracking sobs.
'It's not your fault' He'd assured, his arms tightening so much around the scrawny boy's shoulders that he feared he might hurt him. 'It's mine. It's my fault. I should have stopped him 'He kept ahold of his tears, of his own desires to keel over with grief even though it felt like a black hole was opening inside his chest, swallowing him whole and filling him to the brim with grim despair. He'd been strong for Harry. He'd been there for Harry, unlike the past, where he'd been inconspicuously absent. He'd held onto the boy and dried his tears and tried to assure him that he was not at fault here. He was strong for him.
Right now, there was no one to be strong for and the tears came forward unbidden, falling into the mattress like rain from his eyes.
He did not have to be strong anymore.
And it hurt.
It hurt.
He didn't know who could be knocking on his door at this unholy hour. He had come to get some things before coming back to Grimmauld, namely some winter clothes because he was spending Christmas with Harry and Sirius and he needed some clothes and some necessities, potions and bandages that he kept at home and that had run out at Grimmauld.
He had gotten sidetracked by sorting through the rent bills for the next couple of months and when he was finished with that, he was caught up on cleaning a bit of the space because, and then cooking dinner… and he had some things to check for the Order too. Albus kept sending him the important mail to his home address no matter how many times he'd told him that he was staying with Sirius for an indefinite amount of time. Stupid things but they took time and before he knew it, it was way too late for going back to Grimmauld and his joints still ached something fierce, so he decided to go back in the morning.
But it was three in the morning and someone was knocking on his door.
He grumbled, angry to be dragged out of his peaceful slumber like this, grabbed onto a sleeping robe and put it on, making his way towards the door, cursing whoever it was on the other side for daring to interrupt his precious few hours of sleep. He opened the door, ready to give whoever it was a piece of his mind and he froze, all thoughts coming to a halt as he processed just who was in front of him.
It was Sirius.
Sirius, who was standing in his threshold, clothed with barely a jacket and a couple of winter trousers in the bitter cold of December. Sirius, whose hands were shaking so badly that he'd held onto his arm to force it into knocking the door. Sirius, who looked haggard and sick with worry and whose eyes filled with tears upon catching sight of Remus standing in front of him, soft, unsure mutterings of 'you are alright you are alright you are alright' coming from his chapped, almost frozen, lips. Sirius, who was a very much wanted man that shouldn't be out of his safe hiding place, the one who threw himself at Remus, burying his frozen face into his collarbone, relieved tears falling from his eyes as he nuzzled into the abnormal warmth of Remus' skin.
"Sirius, what are you doing here? You shouldn't have come out of Number Twelve. What if someone from the magical world spotted you!?" He sputtered once he recovered his senses, suddenly worried about the man.
"I was worried." He muttered, his voice slightly muffled by Remus' clothes. He was trembling with a mix of the cold and relief crashing together.
"You could have sent a patronus. Or Harry, you could have told Harry to come looking for me." He said in a stern, enraged tone. Poor boy must be sick with worry about Padfoot now. And Sirius could have gotten caught as well, all because he was worried about him… all because of him.
Remus' expression softened.
"I didn't think. Too worried about you, I had to move." He nuzzled further into Remus' skin, his hair tickling his skin and making shivers run down the werewolf's spine.
Damn, now he was the one feeling guilty. A fully grown man didn't have any business being so adorable, he just didn't have.
"Sirius… I'm sorry. I did not think to send anything. I thought you would assume I… Ouch! Weren't you half frozen just a couple of seconds ago?" Sirius had hit him with one of his hands, more like blocks now.
"You're an idiot. And I am half frozen, thanks to you." He laughed, a soft wet sound that had Remus wincing. "If I get sick because of this, you have to nurse me back to health and I get to be as demanding as I like."
"Let's pray you don't get sick, then. You can be quite the slave driver."As if on cue, Sirius coughed and the werewolf shook his head." You are such a fool, what am I going to do with you? "
"You can love, adore, worship… I'm not picky." Remus laughed, carding his fingers through the curly ends of Padfoot's hair.
"Let's warm you up before you turn into a Popsicle."
"I wouldn't mind being your Popsicle." Sirius' wagged his eyebrows, batting his eyelashes up at Remus, who blushed and spluttered.
"Shut it!"
Sirius laughed.
It took a long time for Remus to dare to go through Sirius' personal drawers. They were filled with letters, spare pieces of parchment and photographs. The photographs were harder to look at, but he was quick to sort those, deciding to send them over to Harry whom he was sure would love them all to pieces. The spare bits of parchment were easy too, most of those he just threw into the garbage bin. The letters were a slower process, though.
Some were from Remus, he noticed them straight away; they were stock-piled together and bound with a red bow and just opening one was enough for him to notice the pattern behind Sirius' archiving methods. Sirius kept everything. Even the most unsubstantial exchange between him and his friends was worth of safekeeping, whatever bit of parchment that had been sent from his friends folded and tucked with utmost care into the first drawer of his night table. It warmed Remus' heart that the usually careless man would go into such lengths to keep mementoes of his friends. James' letters he found to be in a similar state, if slightly worse for wear; they were bound with a threadbare silver bow along with Lily', the silver bow looking strained and the parchment on top stained with what he suspected were tears.
He briefly wondered when Sirius had time to go and retrieve his things from the Potter's residence but he let it go, pushing the letters onto the side along with the photographs he'd reserved for Harry to have later. Harry would love to have those.
He was almost done with the drawer when he found it, stashed at the back on the drawer, under a concealing spell so strong that he had initial trouble to notice it at all. It was a wooden box, with a simple curled design on top and he was seized with curiosity just looking at it. What could possibly be so important that Sirius felt the need to hide it so? He opened it with a click, noticing that the insides were covered with velvet and that the contents of the box were under yet another concealing spell. He frowned, muttering several counter spells under his breath and waving his wand over the box until he found the one that did the trick.
They were letters, a lot of them; so many that Remus was forced to believe that some sort of extension spell was working on the box.
With a bit of trepidation he reached for one and opened it.
It was addressed to him.
'Moony I love you'
It is so easy to write it like this. I wish saying it was so easy. I love you. They are three words and quite simple at that, but whenever I telling you this I just can't. I'm just that much of a coward. I'm not even brave enough to send this; it'll end in the box, just like all the others.
Some Gryffindor I am.
But know this, Moony, I love you.
Remus' breath hitched inside his chest, he was suddenly finding it very difficult to breathe right, his throat clogged up with tears.
The last time Sirius had told him 'I love you'
The last time…
'I love you I love you I love you'
He hated those words.
They were the ones that Sirius had screamed at him before he drew him into his arms, before his lips crashed onto Remus' in a brief but desperate kiss that spoke of promises and longing and of futures that they would never get to explore, for in the next second he moved away from him and ran into the fray, out of his reach and into death's cold embrace. He remembered whispering the words that Sirius had in his arm, too baffled to really do anything as he watched the newly found love of his life falling into his death not even an hour after said love had been confessed.
He dug deeper into the box, his hands shaking so badly that he feared he'd tear them. There were hundreds of them, hundreds.
He hated them. They all said the same.
'I love you'.
'Damn it to hell, Sirius, why couldn't you say something different? Why? '
And then he found one. He didn't know what made him look to it. It didn't have anything special or compelling to it and yet his feverish searching stopped, his hands clutching the piece of parchment with such strength that it tore a bit.
He opened it.
To Remus a.k.a Moony:
If you are reading this, I probably got myself killed and you are sorting through my things, or maybe I just 'fessed up and I'm showing this to you. I hope it is the last one, because the idea of you sorting through my things is not cool. I'd like to have you in my room someday, not because you are sneaking into it, but because we are snogging our asses up and we ended up there.
If you are indeed sorting through my things then I must say I'm sorry, because I was a coward. I'm also sorry because I probably got myself killed and then shouted the words you have in your arm. I know you hate them and I'm sorry, because knowing myself as I do, it was probably the only time I ever told you that I love you. I did try to tell you before, but I could never bring myself to say it.
I was scared. Scared that you'd take one look at me and reject me outright even though I knew from the second you showed me your arm that you were my soulmate.
Yes, Rems, I knew that. It figures that each generation of the Black has its soulmate tattoo appearing on the other half of the pair in that exact same shade of silver. Being a Black had its perks whenever you weren't trying to survive psychotic parents and a dark overlord trying to get you to join in the ranks. It comes with vast amounts of cowardice, so I'm not sure I'm too happy about that. All my confidence was an act, an act I used to cover up that half the time I was scared out of my wits. I don't know if I became a good actor.
I know that perhaps you hate me now. There is nothing I can do to come back from the death for you. I would if I could, never doubt that. For you and Harry, I would walk across hell. You are my family, the only family that I ever cared to keep. I hope I died protecting you or that at least, I died in a way that made you feel proud, most of all, though; I hope I lived in a way that makes you feel proud of me.
Remus, I know this will feel like forever and that it probably hurts a lot. But promise me you'll live and when we find each other on the other side, it will not be because you rushed out into battle to avenge me or that you will be careless. I want you to die an old man, surrounded with a hundred or so of grandsons. Yes, grandsons. I do expect you to move on, to find happiness; don't dwell on me, that's an order. I'll beat your ghostly ass if I find out you did not live because you were too busy wondering about might-have-beens. I'm serious. I want you to be happy.
More than anything, I know you probably hate me for saying those words as my last. I know you always hated your mark. I think I might have come up with a solution for that.
When you feel ready, tap your wand onto the parchment: you'll hear my voice.
See you later, Moony.
Remus stopped reading after that, realizing that tears were falling from his eyes. He grabbed onto his wand and without an ounce of doubt tapped onto the parchment.
"See you later, Moony." A sob tore through Remus' throat and he lowered his face onto his hands, his shoulder shaking. Sirius' voice. Oh gods...
"See you later, Padfoot."
Word Count: 5.390 words.
* I do believe that Harry could have spent Christmas with Sirius in his fifth year. From what I gather in cannon, Christmas breaks are usually at most two weeks and we have seen Harry spend that amount of time out of the Dursleys' residence at the Burrow. Bar all that, Number Twelve of Grimmauld Place is probably the safest place for him to be after Hogwarts and the Dursleys'.
Ok, Ok before you want to kill me. I wanted to write a Wolfstar piece that actually fit into cannon and this one does. It fits, which means that by cannon facts, I cannot keep Sirius alive, sorry folks. Besides, my whole dramatic, sad vibe just didn't allow me to keep Siri alive. Again, sorry.
For those of you with a pet-peeve for having memories in a different format, well, this is pretty much intentional. Remus is remembering these things without pretty much of an order or an introduction to them. They are invasive and putting them in the same format as the regular story would be confusing and introducing them would just ruin the whole idea of them being invasive. They are not just snipets that I could pass on with some words, they are full on memories with dialogue and everything and as such, I felt that it needed to be clear that they are memories. I could have cut the story with bars, but it is less invasive and less of a bother this way, so bear with me on this one.
That said, Happy New Year!
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