Chapter 36
Unburdening Honesty
Rona slipped into the water next to him, looking at his upward turned face. He stared at the moon for a while, obviously deep in thought and then he groaned, looking down at the bubbling water and muttered, "My entire life is wrong," he glanced at her, "right up until I met you. Know how that feels?"
She gave a half smile, "You know that I do."
"Yeah," he nodded, "I do, you're right. Which is why I want to tell you something, Rona. Something I swore I'd never tell - never think of, again."
He stared hard at the surface of the water and took a deep breath then exhaled, "I guess I should start from... I don't know. You already know that my parents were crazy about Mara. Preaching about the goddess of love and all that nonsense, but living as bandits," he scoffed, "The irony of it. The drinking, the gambling, the killing and the thieving. Even my nun sister is a freak because of them," he paused, his brows knitting together, "My siblings - they're all a bunch of cutthroats, whores, bandits and murderers. All of them except Jules. I was proud to call him my brother."
Rona listened closely, taking all of it in.
"Jack was the oldest," he said, turning his head up again,"We never saw eye to eye, too busy trying to be the best, except when it came to our father. Jack had all but escaped from our torture cage of a family. He met a girl, got engaged. But then our father... Torban... he raped her and when Jack dueled him over it, Torban killed him, he killed his own son," he looked down at her, "I was fourteen when he died. After that I spent the best years of my childhood training myself and when I was seventeen, I avenged Jack."
"I challenged Torban to a duel. I killed him out of anger and hatred, malice, spite - whatever you want to call it," his eyes seemed to wander, beyond her, "All of it. I put all of that into my blade and I buried the damn thing right into his chest," he grit his teeth and scowled fiercely as he recalled the memory and then his face softened and he said, "After that I left with Jules and haven't looked back since. We did what we had to do to survive. Jules and I went into banditry. It was the only thing we knew. We... had a good few years," he choked up, swallowing back his tears as he stared at the water's surface,"We trusted each other more than..."
His brows twisted as his expression turned to one of anguish and he covered his face with a hand and whispered, "Gods..."
He took a breath and composed himself, clearing his throat, "A lot happened after we left. We planned to make our way to Skyrim, met a few good people that looked after us, slept in a real bed for the first time," he smiled, chuckling lightly, "He was so happy. We were happy. Things really started looking up for us. But then... we were chased down by a man who knew who we were and heard what I did to Torban. We managed to escape, lost a good friend along the way... lost a lot of good friends."
He looked down at her with the saddest face she'd ever seen from him and he continued his story as she listened quietly.
"We made it to Skyrim, finally. I thought everything would be okay, but we were starving, trying to forage and hunt for food and Jules got really sick. He had this cough that just wouldn't go away and it made it impossible to catch anything. I really thought he was gonna die. Found an old witch in some lonesome shack and she told us to go off and get work with a bandit cartel out in Riften," he sighed, "Just more bullshit is all that lead to. And Jules kept getting worse and worse. Even with shelter and regular meals. Finally the old woman said he was sick because he was born that way. Because he was half nord, half khajiit. Said the humans and cats weren't meant to mix."
"He was half-khajiit?" Rona finally spoke, though she hadn't meant to.
He gave a half-hearted smirk, "Yeah. Most of my siblings were half of something else or other. S'why I've never cared about that sort of thing, you know?" He touched her face, running a hand over her pointed ear, "It doesn't matter what your race is, it just matters what kind of person you are."
"What kind of person was Jules?" she asked.
His lips twisted, it pained him so much to think of his brother. "He was good," his voice cracked, "He wasn't just my brother, he was my best friend. My closest companion. We experienced it all together, came from the same messed up, piece of shit family, got the same beatings... he knew what it was like. He could understand. Jules was the light in my life. He was always the optimistic one. He really believed things would get better for us," he breathed, clenching his teeth, fighting the tears, "Gods I miss him."
He rubbed a hand to his forehead and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly before taking another breath through his nose and continuing, "A lot happened after the cartel. I could go on forever about it. They got overthrown by a couple other bandit groups in the area, we almost died, again," he laughed bitterly, "I met Karnwyr up on Nilheim you know. He helped me save Jules' life during the raid. That wolf became our closest companion, treated us like we were his pack. And after surviving it all, somehow, one of the other bandit groups that started the raid took us in. Hearing who we were, that we were Thrice-Banished, how could they not want us?" He glanced at her, "I guess you don't really know what that means, huh?"
She shook her head. She just assumed it was the name his father had given their bandit family.
He sighed, "Torban and Rina were so damn good at being bandits that they were banished from the Rift and then again from Falkreath after they wiped the place clean," he laughed lightly, "We actually lived inside the Blue Palace right under High King Torygg's nose for a while. Snuck into the Pelagius Wing and lived out of there for months while they stole anything and everything from the people of Solitude. We got caught, of course and the High King banished us from Skyrim," he made a weak attempt at a half-smile, "Thus the name, Thrice-Banished. Didn't take long for Torban to continue his rampage across the rest of Tamriel though, his crimes escalating from simple thieving to murder and rape. Just one after the other."
He paused and scratched at his shoulder, getting lost in his own thoughts again as he stared at the water. She urged him on though, "What happened after you joined the new group?"
He broke from his reverie and said, "Just more bullshit. Lying and thieving, doing what we did best. Wasn't long before another rival band started making waves through the Rift though. Thorn's group," his lower lip trembled, "He took them all out. Killed every last one of the group we were with without mercy. Raped the women and did," his mouth twisted and his brows furrowed, "unspeakable things Ladyship."
"Is that how you ended up with them?"
His eyes flitted at her nervously before he said, "Yeah. Same old story, he'd heard about what I did to Torban, wanted to keep me around and train me up like I was his pet," he spat the word, "He wanted to use me for my skills," he paused again, his chest heaving at the awful memories, "I still remember when they brought the wench in. Some young girl, fifteen, maybe sixteen. Just some harmless farm girl. Said he wanted to show me what they do with the weaker sex, what he expected from me... Told me to rape her." His eyes were wide and his brows mingled between fury and disgust, "I told him he could go fuck right off. That I'd never force a woman. Then he laughed in my face. Told me to learn my place, said he had no problem doing it to young boys either, that Jules would like it. I drew my blade, I was going to kill him, but his men were on me faster than I could move. They held me there and forced me to watch," his head fell back as his breath shuddered and he grit his teeth.
"I will never forget the sound of her screaming. Of any of them. He tortured those women and I couldn't do anything," his voice caught in his throat for a moment before he looked at her again, tears sparkling in his eyes, "I couldn't save them. I thought he'd hurt Jules. I just wanted to protect my little brother."
Her own lips quivered and she wiped at the tears trailing over her cheeks. She was crying for him. Taking his pain and lifting it from him with every unspeakable word and cruel detail he shared.
"Bishop," she whispered.
But he sounded angry and shook his head at her, his voice cracking again, "No. Let me finish. It's almost over. This goddamned fucking story is almost over," he went on again, speaking faster now, "Jules got away from it all. I made him leave. He lived out in Riften. I think he got mixed up with the Thieves Guild for a while, I'm sure of it. But he was surviving, doing what he knew. He met a woman, Elise, got married, had a family of his own. Had a baby girl - Holly. I wanted that for him. He deserved to be happy. I made Thorn promise to leave them alone if I stayed. He agreed he would and so I stayed working for that bastard. Doing what I did best and I was the best."
He grit and ground his teeth then and cast an angry look over the water, "Then Jules betrayed me. He said he wanted to see me, wanted to run a job with me that he knew about, but that we'd need the group for it. I didn't trust him. I was positive he was with the Thieves Guild and they wanted Thorn's group out of there more than anyone. I was right too, but it wasn't the Thieves Guild that ousted us. Jules double crossed everyone on that job. By the time I learned it was to save his own family, it was too late. I'd already crossed him in return. It was the Paladins, a team sent in by the Empire to put an end to Thorn's hold over the Rift. They sent their best and Casavir lead them. He did a lot of digging around and learned about Jules and then about me. He promised Jules that the Empire would protect him and his family, get them a proper home and a good life out in Cyrodiil, if he would help them infiltrate Thorn's group," Bishop looked at her, "He told Jules and Elise that if he didn't help them, that he'd arrest him and Elise, leaving Holly without them, she'd be orphaned."
He sniffed. The tears in his eyes clung desperately, holding on, they wouldn't release without his say so. He took another breath, "Jules lead us all into a trap. The Paladins attacked and I ran after him through the scuffle. I chased him and when I finally caught him I demanded to know why. Why Jules? WHY!?" He roared, his chest heaving, his voice growing more choked up, more sorrowful, "And then, he drew his sword on me and I did it - I plunged my dagger right into his heart and I killed him. I killed my brother," the tears flowed finally and his whole body shook as he pressed his hands to his face and released his agonized sobs. Rona wrapped her arms around him and he buried his face in her dampened hair, holding her tightly and released a string of excruciating sobs. She felt him trembling in her arms as he finally let his pain go free. Her own tears flowed freely as she held him, rocking back and forth with him.
They sat like that, in the warm water for some time, his tears stemmed and his shaking slowed, but he kept his face pressed to her skin and his arms wrapped tightly around her. Her heart ached for him, she longed to tell him that she loved him, to say it would all be okay, that she was there now, and she'd never let go. But she held her tongue.
Finally his grasp loosened and he pulled away from her, looking into her face, his eyes swollen and red. She could see the love he held for her, it was all over his face. But he too held back and that was fine. She would wait. She didn't want his first words of love for her to follow such terrible things.
He took a calmed breath and blinked his eyes a few times, not knowing what to say anymore it seemed. Probably embarrassed that he just cried in her arms when he hadn't cried in years, or maybe just letting the relief of releasing the heaviest anchor on his heart finally wash over him.
She wiped at her tears and smiled at him, "I'll always be here for you Bishop, whatever you need."
He chuckled slightly, clearing his throat, "Feels... strange. Like," he shook his head, "I don't know. Saying the actual words after all these years, letting it all go," he met her eyes and concluded, "it feels good."
"Sometimes you have to feel the pain in order to let it go free," she said.
"Yeah," he whispered and then looked around at the spring and said, "Hey... I'm tired. Let's go get some sleep."
She smiled and agreed. They climbed out of the hot spring, fingers and toes wrinkled from the long stay in there and Rona dried them off with a spell. They got dressed and walked back to camp. Delphine was still snoozing on her bedroll, although Karnwyr had moved and laid down next to her. Bishop and Rona fell onto their bedrolls and he pulled her into a tight embrace, resting his face in the crook of her neck.
He really must have been exhausted, definitely emotionally drained, because he was snoring in her ear not a minute later. She drifted off and let her nightmares consume her once more.
(The song is This Is A Call by Les Friction)
Her nightmares were different this time. There were no Dragonborn and no dragons in sight. Only a large group of men and some women. Bandits and brigands, thieves and murderers, the lowly and the downtrodden. People who were barely holding on to what little they had left in life. Their stares were heartless and cold.
Bishop was among them. He stood by Thorn and one other. A young man, with long, untamed dark hair and shadowy eyes was leading them. His facial hair was quite thick, though he had cut it close to his skin it was still wild and curled. She knew it was Jules.
"Everything we've done has made us all that we have been and we've become
Oh we are now alone, everyone's gone and now we're without a home
We have destroyed both of our lives
Brother, we were left to be each other's purpose
Brother, my sentinel, the tempest is upon us
We are now each other's responsibility
All alone in spite of everything that's true
I have everything to do with you
We all failed to stop what came to pass
Winter's come and everyone will sleep at last"
An ominous song echoed around them, though none of them seemed to notice. Of course not, for this song was in her mind alone. It was an expression of Bishop's pain as she felt it and understood it.
Bishop was staring angrily at his brother's back and Jules' expression was forlorn and desperate, his thick brows curved upward with fear, knowing he was betraying his own brother. He walked on, leading them through a snowy fissure in a plateau. Rona watched from afar as the snow fell all around them. It was as though she were floating and then she saw them, the Paladins lay in hiding above them all, on either side of the upraised plateaus, waiting to strike.
Words were spoken as Thorn stopped the procession, demanding to know where they were going. He held his sword to Jules' back and the young man turned, ignoring Thorn's viciousness and instead looked at his brother, saw his hateful expression and met it with his own pained look. For a moment Bishop's face softened and then the first arrow fell. Then shouting and more arrows as the Paladins dropped in on them all, swords drawn. The bandits and Paladins fought and Jules ran. Bishop chased after him, dagger in hand.
They ran to the edge of a cliff and Jules turned slowly, facing his brother.
"WHY JULES!? WHY!?" Bishop roared at him with all the fury and hatred in his heart, "YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME!" His voice cracked, his voice ethereal, spoke from afar, "You should have trusted me."
Jules clenched his teeth, his face twisting between regret and a sob, he put a hand to his sword and drew it. His eyes sparkled with tears. This was the end and he knew it. One of them would have to die. Jules took a fighter's stance, tears streaming down his face as he did so and he aimed his sword at his brother. Bishop roared at him furiously and charged. They fought, precariously on the edge of the cliff, Bishop bounding back and forth, as Jules swiped at him. Bishop's dagger and Jules' sword clanged repeatedly until Jules made a misstep and Bishop lunged at him, burying his dagger into his brother's chest right where his heart was.
"This is a call to action
This is a call to arms
All lives for one, together
There are no false alarms
This is a call to action
This is a call to arms
All lives for one, together
There are no false alarms
This is a call
This is a call
All lives as one
All lives as one together"
Bishop caught Jules as his sword slipped from his hand and fell over the cliff. He coughed, sputtering blood and his breathing staggered. The light from his eyes slowly fading as he stared at his brother. Bishop was holding him, pleading with him, 'Why?' over and over, his own tears spilling from his eyes as he buried his face in his brother's bloodied chest.
And then a black dragon loomed, flying up from below the ridge. He hovered and Bishop looked up at him. The dragon stared at Rona though, before he slowly looked to Bishop. She was screaming, trying to reach him, trying to stop it but she could not move as Alduin swooped down on him, burying his claws into Bishop's body, crushing him.
Her eyes snapped open and she felt the ground shake beneath her. Bishop roused as well, he looked like he just came out of the same nightmare. Delphine threw a bucket of water on the smoldering camp fire and spoke in a hushed voice with a tone of panic, "Hurry! There's a dragon! We have to get to Kynesgrove now!"
Bishop didn't move for a second though, instead he stared at Rona, as though he were seeing her for the first time, looking very confused.
"Come on," Rona urged him. He shook his head, waking up and started moving.
Delphine was already up on Misty when she said, "Forget the camp! We'll come back later! Hurry! Hurry!"
They left it and got up on their steeds. Karnwyr whimpered and stayed behind. Still as afraid of dragons as ever, which was probably for the best.
They rode swiftly over the low hills, the sun had barely peaked over the horizon as they made it to Kynesgrove, the few people that were there were running and screaming for their lives, some shouting, "Dragon!"
They saw him, flying around in low circles up on the hill beyond the inn. They quickly dismounted and raced up the hill towards the beast. Delphine urging them to stay low and hide. It was too late anyway. The strange light drew from the burial mound as Alduin hovered over it and spoke, "[Sahloknir, ever-bound dragon spirit. LET YOUR FLESH BE UNROTTEN!]"
The ground rumbled again and the burial mound broke, scattering plods of dirt as the newly resurrected bones of a dragon clawed its way to freedom, its flesh regenerating in fiery patches to its body. It looked up at Alduin and said, "[Alduin, my overlord! An age past, did you not destroy the power of the ancient kings?]"
"[Yes, Sahloknir, my trusted ally]," and then he turned and looked over at Rona and laughed, "Ah, false Dovahkiin. You have returned to me so that I might consume your soul?"
She drew her swords and ran towards the beast, Bishop failing to grab her as she went. She stood before Alduin, holding her swords out, ready to kill him. An optimistic song sprang forth around them, one that matched how confidant she felt inside.
(The song is SkyWorld by Two Steps From Hell)
Alduin looked her over and eyed her swords. He sounded disgusted when he spat, "[YOU! You would DARE use our bones as your weapons!? TSK! Because you mortals have no claws. You are WEAK.]"
"[No Alduin, we are smarter]," she surprised herself as perfect dragon's tongue slipped from her lips.
He looked quite astonished as well, his pupils turning to slits as he cocked his head and then he laughed, "[Ah... Eira. Of course. Spilling all the secrets of our kind. Disgusting mortal spawn]," he looked down at his resurrected champion and said, "[Sahloknir, kill these mortals.]"
Alduin bore down on her, shouting fire and she returned it with her breath if ice as he flew off over the horizon. Sahloknir took flight and circled around her, studying his prey.
Bishop and Delphine were already on range and firing arrows into its hide. Rona spun her blades in hand and cried, "SUG GRAH DUN!"
She looked around and saw a large rock she could use for leverage. She was ready to test her blades and shunted forward into a sprint, crying, "WULD NAH KEST!" to move even faster. She raced forward and kicked off the rock, rolling through the air at the beast so swiftly that it was not prepared when she buried her blades into its hide. She held onto the hilts tightly as her legs dangled and Sahloknir roared painfully spinning through the air.
They were about to hit the ground so she yanked her blades from the dragon's body, spraying blood and kicked off, slowing her descent and landing softly as the beast crashed heavily to the ground. It was up in a matter of seconds though, faster than she anticipated and it spun around and shouted, "YOL TOOR SHUL!"
She recalled the new shout from Solitude, "FEIM!" it made her body translucent and the flames burst through her, leaving her untouched, though she could still feel the warmth. Sahloknir stared curiously, twisting his head like a bird, his moment of pause gave Bishop a chance to get an arrow right in the dragon's eye. The creature hissed viciously and threw his head, Rona ran in and lunged her blades straight into its neck. She brought her arms up and over her head, violently tearing through its throat. The dragon gurgled and slumped over, dead. Sahloknir's soul washed over her body.
She cast the blood from her blades and sheathed them, turning back to an amazed Delphine. Bishop however just looked tired, standing by with his arms crossed.
She muttered, "I'll be damned... you really did it."
Bishop just sighed, rolling his eyes and Rona smirked at her.
Delphine said, "So you really are... it's true isn't it? You really are Dragonborn."
"We already told you," Bishop growled.
She chuckled, "That you did. But I just had to see it for myself. I guess I owe you some answers, let's head back to our camp first and I'll tell you whatever you want to know."
The three of them rode back and found Karnwyr, soaking wet and happily rolling around in the dirt. Apparently he'd taken a dip in one of the springs. He was quite happy to see them and greeted Bishop first, before padding over to Rona and nuzzling her hand.
They all sat down around the burned out campfire and Delphine said, "Go ahead, whatever you want to know. Nothing held back."
Rona looked to Bishop and he just shrugged his shoulders. She turned to Delphine and asked, "Who are you and what do you want with me?"
"I'm one of the last members of the Blades," she answered promptly, "A very long time ago, the Blades were dragon slayers, and we served the Dragonborn, the greatest dragon slayer. For the last two hundred years, since the last Dragonborn emperor, the Blades have been searching for a purpose. Now that dragons are coming back, our purpose is clear again. We need to stop them."
"What do you know about them coming back? Their resurrection?"
"Not a damn thing. I was just as surprised as you to find that big black dragon here."
Rona sighed heavily and Bishop said, "Great, so you're just as clueless as us then. We weren't surprised to see that dragon though. Already saw him once before."
"Really? Where?" Delphine looked surprised.
"I saw him at Helgen," Rona said.
"Also at the burial mound just outside Whiterun," Bishop added.
"And in Solitude," Rona looked down at her hands in her lap trying not to remember the horrors of that night.
"They were after her," Bishop nodded to Rona, "They want to kill her. Sent thirty or more of them to Solitude to try and kill her."
"I heard about that," Delphine said, "You really faced off against thirty dragons?"
"Not alone," Rona looked solemn, "My friends helped me. And I have the power to summon ancient Dragonborn with my voice. I fought with the power of a legion of Dragonborn."
"Unbelievable," Delphine was stunned, "I'd love to see that."
Rona turned her eyes away from this woman. She had no idea what it meant to have to call forth that kind of power. How awful it was. Rona never wanted to do it again, she never wanted to see people suffer and die like that ever again.
Seeing her unease, Delphine cleared her throat and said, "I think the Thalmor are behind the return of the dragons."
"What makes you say that?" Bishop asked.
"Well, I don't have any proof, yet. But my gut tells me it can't be anybody else. The Empire had captured Ulfric. The war was basically over. Then a dragon attacks, Ulfric escapes, and the war is back on. And now the dragons are attacking everywhere, indiscriminately. Skyrim is weakened, the Empire is weakened. Who else gains from that but the Thalmor?"
"If that were true," Bishop scoffed, "then why would they be trying to get Rona to join the Legion to end the war? And then turn right around and try to kill her with a dragon attack?"
"What do you mean?" Delphine asked.
Bishop sighed and explained everything in brief detail about how the Thalmor were attempting to use Rona to end the war in favor of the Empire.
"I see," Delphine mulled over the new information and said, "I still want to know what information they have. If we could get into the Thalmor Embassy...it's the center of their operations in Skyrim... Problem is, that place is locked up tighter than a miser's purse. They could teach me a few things about paranoia."
"I could talk to Ata," Rona suggested, "Er, my father. He was the Arch-Mage of the Arcane University and one of the Emperor's closest confidants for years. He often worked closely as his eyes and ears when they would travel to the Summerset Isles to correspond with the Dominion. Ata would know how to get in, I'm sure of it."
Delphine looked wary, "He's an altmer?"
Bishop scowled at her, "Trust me Delphine, Serlas hates the Dominion as much as any full blooded, Skyrim nord. You can trust him."
She looked him over and then back to Rona and said, "Alright. I'll go speak with him myself."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Bishop threw his hands out, "Don't do that."
"Why not?"
"It's not that we don't want you to," Rona explained, "it's just that, there's a blood seal around the entire farm to keep intruders out."
"Yeah, you walk through that force field and it'll burn you into a smoldering corpse," Bishop said.
"I see," Delphine raised her brows.
Rona wasn't ready to return to the farm yet. They still had to return to the Greybeards. She had a million questions for them. So she decided to send Delphine alone, "Go to the farm in Falkreath, it's just beyond the small lone home on the road, up on the hill. There's a big wooden sign warning people, especially couriers of passing beyond that point. If you wait there Ata will hear the alarm spell he set up and will come to meet you. You can talk with him then."
"Make sure you're armed," Bishop added, "There's a band of bandits that have been hanging around the area and won't hesitate to kidnap or kill you."
"Good to know, but you two aren't coming?"
"I need to go to High Hrothgar... there are some things I want to discuss with the Greybeards and well, now that I have the horn I can return it to them," Rona said.
Delphine nodded, "Makes sense," she stood up and grabbed a few of her things, "I'll go speak to your father then and meet you both back in Riverwood whenever you return. Try not to delay too long, will you?"
Rona nodded, "We'll try, might be a week at most."
Delphine smiled, "Perfect! It's good to finally be working with you Dragonborn Rona. Best of luck with your training."
She left them and the two prepared to make their own journey back to High Hrothgar.