Chapter 44

Shared Pain

They followed the edge of the lake, heading towards Riverwood. It'd be hours before they got back to Whiterun. Bishop trailed along behind the old man, looking sour and feeling disgruntled.

Kodlak seemed to almost have a skip in his step as he trod along the path, then he started talking and Bishop just rolled his eyes.

"I can finally die a true warrior, having killed a dragon," he continued looking forward as he spoke, "Though I don't know if my heart could stand it a second time."

Bishop ignored him. Staying silent, still angry at him.

And yet he kept right on talking, "I'm surprised you joined me in battle young blood. You could have easily been rid of me if you truly wanted."

Bishop groaned loudly, letting his frustration be known.

Kodlak chuckled, "My son was that way too. Never wanted to talk to me. I could go on for hours though, just to bother him."

Bishop picked up his pace and stepped in front of Kodlak forcing him to stop, "Let me make something clear to you, old man. I don't care about you, or your past, or whatever the hell you think you're trying to accomplish by acting like you're my father and I'm your replacement son," he snarled, his brows hovering harshly over his golden eyes, "You want to know something about me? I killed my father and I don't regret it for a damn second. So if you don't want to end up just like him, you better shut your damn mouth."

Bishop turned away and Kodlak said, "I suppose we have that much in common at least... I killed my son."

It was like punching him in the gut. Kodlak had to be lying, saying whatever he could to try and relate to him. Yet he sounded... sadly sincere.

"None of my business," he said and kept walking.

Kodlak was quiet the rest of the way. Bishop didn't know what to think. Though he even found himself wondering what exactly happened to the old Companion to make him kill his son. He crossed his arms suddenly and scoffed at himself as they rounded the bend leading down to Honningbrew Meadery. Kodlak's brows raised at the sound, but he said nothing else. Bishop couldn't believe he was doing this. Wondering about this stranger's past. Wanting to know. This was something Rona did, not him.

Karnwyr came rushing across the field towards them as they approached Whiterun Hold and he realized the damn old boy had disappeared during their fight with the dragon. He was utterly surprised when the wolf padded up to Kodlak first and licked at his shook his head. Rona had completely spoiled the wolf. He might as well have been a friendly stray now. That's what he tried to tell himself at least.

Kodlak chuckled at the wolf and said, "Such a good companion you have."

Bishop clicked his tongue, getting Karnwyr to come over to him. He knelt down and grasped his ears, scratching them and smiling down into his face as he licked Bishop on the cheek and nose. "He seems to think we're pack mates," Bishop said, with a friendlier tone now that he'd calmed down a bit, "He's like a brother to me."

"I can see that. He's been with you since he was a pup," Kodlak guessed... it had to be a guess. How else could he know that?

"Yeah," Bishop said slowly, "He's not always this friendly. He's still got a wild animal in him somewhere... I think."

Kodlak said, "Probably just getting to be an old wolf now. We tire with age you know. No strength to carry the weights of our pasts or hold onto old grudges anymore. It's all about learning to let go of the anger and finding peace before our time comes."

Bishop looked at him with half-lidded eyes. They were definitely not talking about Karnwyr anymore. Kodlak smirked at him and continued trudging up the path to Whiterun. Bishop stood back up and followed along.

In Jorrvaskr they were greeted with Rona's beautiful singing as the Companions enjoyed their dinner and listened to her entertain them.

(The song is A Lifetime of Adventure by Minniva)

"To be rich is to still remember

To treasure your first dime

To have a chance to say farewell

Story of your life, time of solitude and strife

Freedom of an open road, hope and many miles to go

Promises to keep, countless gold fields to reap

To be rich is to seek, to relive a memory

Far off lands, quests of old

Self respect, true grit

Never cared of what a fortune might buy

To seek is to be rich

Story of your life, time of solitude and strife

Freedom of an open road, hope and many miles to go

Promises to keep, countless gold fields to reap

To be rich is to seek, to relive a memory

All the strangers on your path

Crossroads, the letters from home

The cooling embers of a Yuletide hearth

All the sounds of wilderness, the truth in which you roamed

Now you're lost rosebud has brought you back home

Story of your life, time of solitude and strife

Freedom of an open road, hope and many miles to go

Promises to keep, countless gold fields to reap

To be rich is to seek, to relive a memory"

It was exactly what Bishop needed after the insane day he'd had. Her voice always put him at ease and her song was striking in its beauty. Her eyes followed him as he stepped inside. Her precious smile widening at him as she sang. Every time she did this, it was almost like she'd stopped singing for them and sang just for him. It became something of a private exchange between them, her smiles, his smirks and the glances they stole from each other. It was all a dance, one that would lead to an evening of her singing many more breathtaking songs just for him in their bed.

He took a seat at the end of the 'U' shaped table, nearer to her and further away from the Companions, while Kodlak found his place at the head of the table next to Aela and Skjor. No one could take their eyes from her as she absolutely commanded their attention with the elegance of her voice and the music she made from nothing.

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, he thought suddenly, fathering a child with her. It would mean that she was his and he hers. They would forever be connected. He let his heart ache for her, wanting to hold her in his arms and keep her all to himself, to take her away from the prying eyes, the desire and envy of the others. He glanced over the men, seeing the way they looked at her. He felt the urge to pluck their roaming eyes out with his knife.

When her song finished she gave a bow and all the Companions cheered. Even Karnwyr started howling by her and she knelt down petting the wolf lovingly.

Kodlak clapped loudly, "Beautiful. You truly are your mother's daughter Lady Rona."

She smiled brightly at him and Skjor said, "Yeah, it's a shame Aela didn't inherit old Grella's singing voice. Instead she just screeches like a hagraven."

"Hey!" Aela barked at him, smirking and reaching around Kodlak to try and stab him with a fork, "Don't make me come over there Skjor!"

The group laughed boisterously at the two of them bickering. Rona found a seat next to Bishop and nudged him, "You alright? You took off earlier… I swear I was going to chase after you but Kodlak insisted he go instead."

Bishop laughed half-heartedly, "Just had a long day."

"It's okay if you don't want to do this Bishop," she said empathetically,"I'll understand."

He looked into her eyes. She always pushed him, forcing him to try new things... things he would hate, but she was also willing to let him give it up if he loathed it that much. She accepted him for who he was. And yet... she hated being the Dragonborn. She could never give it up, as much as she wanted to. She'd forever follow that path to whatever end it led to. Was it really fair for him to call it quits every single time he hated doing things that were by far, much easier than fighting an army of dragons?

"Actually," he said, "I think I'm going to keep training with Kodlak. He got me a better sword. That other one just didn't suit me."

She beamed at him. He'd never understand why she loved this sort of thing, being a part of a group of brutes and warriors that just wanted to fight all the time. But he would try to understand for her. Because he loved her.

She leaned over and kissed him sweetly on the lips. It wasn't quite up to his standards for a kiss, but it was gentle. She was more than happy to show them who she belonged to and for that he was grateful.

As they finished their meal with the rowdy group Bishop stood to leave and called Karnwyr over. The wolf had completely won over every single Companion and was getting spoiled with table scraps and head scratches. Aela said with a laugh, "Why didn't we ever think to get a wolf? It just makes sense!"

Bishop looked down at Rona, "Ready to go? Got another long day tomorrow I'm sure."

She stood up and said, "You go on ahead. I wanted to talk to Kodlak real quick."

He raised his brows at her and said, "Alright, see you at the house." Bishop left and Rona ran over to the old man.

"Kodlak, could I have a word with you?"

He said, "I was about to ask the same. Please follow me to my quarters."

They went downstairs and stepped into the privacy of his study. He shut the doors behind them and she took a seat in the very same chair she had months ago when he'd told her all about her mother's insensitive and unpredictable nature. Now once again she had a single burning question relating to the woman. She needed to know if this was why her mother was the way she was.

Before she could speak though Kodlak said, "I see you've been allowed to know some secrets before your appointed time. Farkas told me what happened."

She nodded slowly.

He took a breath and said, "I will be honest with you, girl. Ask of me whatever you wish to know."

"Was my mother a werewolf?" It was the one question burning on her mind. If she was, it would explain so much.

Kodlak leaned over the table and said, "No. Claudia was one of the few of us who refused the gift."

Rona blinked. It was not the answer she expected, in fact, it just didn't make sense. So her mother really was just... crazy?

"Why?" She asked next.

"Claudia had dreams of Sovngarde. You see, living as beasts draws our souls closer to the Daedric Lord Hircine. Some may prefer an eternity in his hunting grounds, but Claudia knew better… surprisingly wise of her."

"That's what you meant," she said, "When you said you were cursed."

"I grow old. My mind turns towards the horizon. Like your mother once did, I too crave the fellowship of Sovngarde. I worry that Shor won't call an animal to glory as he would a true nord warrior."

"You want to cure yourself?"

"Yes, it's no easy matter though. But you don't need to share the worries of an old warrior. This day is to rejoice in your bravery," he stood and clapped her on the shoulder, "You did well today, Farkas was very impressed with your skills and your power. Bishop proved himself a true warrior today as well."

She looked up at him curiously and asked, "How? What did he do?"

Kodlak beamed at her, "Took down a giant's den and a dragon with me. We had quite the adventure together. Tomorrow you will both be recognized formally as Companions."

She was stunned and stared at him wide eyed. Bishop actually helped Kodlak? He helped him kill a dragon!? She needed to mull over this new information, she wanted to talk to Bishop, to tell him everything but as she bid Kodlak a good night and stood to leave he said, "I'd appreciate it if you could keep this business of the beast blood between us Lady Rona. I imagine that if your companion discovers our true nature, he won't take kindly to it. I can see how protective he is of you."

She furrowed her brows and averted her gaze. She didn't want to lie to Bishop, but she didn't want to betray Kodlak's trust either. Lie by omission? That seemed just as bad. Still… she glanced at Kodlak.

He said, "I can assure you, we have full control over our beast blood. The first turning is always the worst, though some take to it more than others. After a while we become accustomed to it. You needn't fear us, though I speculate we may have to fear the young whelp if he finds out. He's a bit hot headed."

She took a breath and exhaled, "I'll keep it between us. I promise."

The next day Bishop and Rona were officially recognized as Companions through a small ceremony where the Circle gathered and pledged their swords in their honor, their shields in their defense and even their mugs in their glory. It was a little silly and Bishop made his annoyance of the whole debacle painfully noticeable with his heavy eye rolls.

Still they'd accepted him into the fold and greeted him as an old friend, patting him hard on the back and being friendly with him. She could tell, as much as he tried to hide it, that he liked it.

Over the course of the next few weeks the two of them spent almost all of their time with the Companions, taking on contracts while Rona went out of her way to visit with the townsfolk and offered to help them. She wanted to stay as busy as possible, anything to keep her mind off of Alduin as well as their own little accident weeks earlier.

Bishop continued training with Kodlak on the sword and every passing week she'd noticed a change in him. Particularly in his physical form. He was getting stronger, building the body of a warrior, actually bulking up a bit. Certainly not to the extent of the others, as he was still quite lean, but his newly bulging muscles were very noticeable. His strength really excited her and he never ceased to amaze with his size and moves in the bedroom.

She'd also noticed a change in his personality. He was actually being friendlier and more open with the others. Cracking jokes, drinking with them and even partaking in a few fist fights when he felt he needed to have words, as he called it, with a fellow Companion. He got along with the two brothers just fine, but didn't care much for Farkas or Vilkas always ogling her and made sure to sweep her off her feet, quite literally and plant a kiss on her lips right in front of them, always making it known just where the two of them stood in their relationship. She'd scoff at him and demand he put her down and he would, then she'd fix her dress, turning away while she blushed furiously and he chuckled at her back.

The next change he made surprised her. Bishop came back to Jorrvaskr one day with Skjor after they finished up a contract and she couldn't believe what he was wearing. He had on some dark brown leather armor, not entirely unlike his usual clothes, except that the top was sleeveless. He would never wear what he called 'fluffy' skirts like the other men, of course, so instead he had on matching leather trousers and a grey wolf's pelt draped around his waist. He had a few nicks and scrapes up his arms, even a nice gash near his hairline which was bleeding steadily down the side of his face. He looked like a true warrior dressed that way, his biceps rippling in the firelight, being armed to the teeth with his sword, bow and dagger and all covered in sweat, dirt and blood. It really excited her.

Skjor pat him on the back saying, "Good job today," and left to go find Aela off in the other room. Rona suspected the two had some kind of relationship as she'd seen them slipping off together quite often. Her attention was on Bishop now though.

She stood up from her seat at the Companion's table where she was chatting with Njada and Ria, excusing herself. Njada of course, being as abrasive as she was smirked and said loudly, "The minute her man gets back she's off to go fix him up."

"Aw how sweet," Ria said mockingly.

Rona stuck her tongue out at them, smiling before running over to him, making her hands go alight with healing magic. She grasped his arms fixing up the little nicks and cuts and said, "What are you wearing?"

He grinned at her, "Was waiting for you to ask me that." He sighed with relief as she pressed a hand to the gash in his head, mending it and moved along to the other scrapes. Then he said, "It's been way too hot out there, so I figured I'd wear something a little cooler for a change."

"Well if you can't handle the weather in Whiterun you'll burn up in Cyrodiil," she said laughing a little.

"I've been to Cyrodiil before, it's not too bad out that way. Try Elsewyr though - talk about hot," She continued running her hands over his bulging arms, admiring them and he said in a low voice, "I take it you like the new armor… or rather, the lack thereof?"

She felt a blush rising in her cheeks and mumbled, "Yeah I do."

He tipped her face up and leaned in for a passionate kiss making the girls let out loud and obnoxious oohs, which only seemed to urge him on, kissing her more vigorously.

When everyone figured out that Rona blushed brighter than the sun itself they always tried to find ways to embarrass her and make it happen again and again for their own amusement, especially the girls. Aela in particular had a bad habit of teasing her. She was almost like an older sister the way she treated her, but Rona liked it. After all their mothers had been best friends years ago, so they had that much in common, not to mention their shared love of adventure and battle.

Despite the way they all teased her, calling her dragon all the time and poked fun at her height, she took it in loved the playfulness of her newfound family. It reminded her of home and her own friends. The Companions could never replace her closest friends in the Fighter's Guild, but they eased the pain she felt when she found herself missing them.

Bishop had slowly started to understand too. He and Kodlak were spending a lot of time together. The old man treated him like a son, as he did with Vilkas and Farkas. He was paying close attention to Bishop's progress and carefully drawing him out of his shell and teaching him constructive ways to release his anger. Kodlak gave him something he never got to have in his youth, a father-figure. Somebody to look up to, who showed a vested interest in him.

Kodlak and the brothers came in from the yard suddenly and Bishop pulled away from her lips and flushed face, looking over at them curiously. Kodlak muttered something to the two brothers and they left in opposite directions. Farkas heading downstairs to the living quarters and Vilkas calling to Skjor and Aela from the small library near the Mead Hall.

Kodlak said, "I need everyone to take a seat if they will. We have some news from the Rift."

"What's all this then?" Aela asked as she stepped into the Mead Hall.

Kodlak sat at the head of the table and said, "We'll wait for the others first."

Farkas reappeared withTorvar and Athis in tow. Everyone took their seats then, all looking to the Harbinger.

Kodlak cleared his throat and pulled out a letter from his pocket, setting it on the table in front of him. "We just had a courier come by delivering this. It's a letter directly from the Jarl of Riften. Seems they're having trouble with several dragons near the hold. They've heard that the Dragonborn is in our midst and have decided to hire us – all of us."

"How many dragons is it?" Skjor asked, not sounding very keen on facing another one, let alone multiple dragons.

"They're not sure," Kodlak replied, "Might be a nest of them."

Rona shook her head, "They're territorial. They wouldn't stick together like that… not unless," she paused as she felt her fears taking hold and crawling up her back. The only time she'd seen dragons work together was when Alduin was present.

Everyone was looking at her, waiting for more of an explanation but Bishop spoke for her.

"We fought at least thirty or more dragons in Solitude. It's a possibility they're working together," he said.

"What else does the letter say?" Vilkas asked.

Kodlak perused over it, "It appears that the Black Briar family is personally funding our little expedition as they've lost quite a bit of their own apiaries to the dragons quarreling around their land. Seems the creatures might be fighting over territory, as the Lady Rona suggests."

Rona felt relieved. Dragons having a territorial dispute she could handle, but dragons working under the command of Alduin, working as a trained legion, she was not prepared to do that again.

"We'll set out for Riften early tomorrow," Kodlak said,"I expect to see everyone at the stables at the break of dawn. We have at least two days of travel to the Rift by horseback."

"Could be one day if we head south round Haemar's Shame," Aela said, "Why take the long way?"

"The dragons have been sighted near Autumnwatch Tower," Kodlak explained, "I'd rather we get the drop on them first, not the other way around. Best we come in prepared. We'll want to collect our deposit first as well."

"Can't believe I'm 'bout to face some dragons," Torvar grumbled drunkenly.

"I'm looking forward to killing my first," Njada said crossing her arms and grinning.

"If anyone has any questions on how to fair against the flying beasts," Kodlak said, "or wants some advice, I turn you over to our two expert dragon slayers." He nodded to Bishop and Rona, "I trust you two will share your knowledge with the rest."

Bishop smirked, "Well, my first piece of advice is, if anyone's a good marksman, bring a bow... Actually, you know what, even if you're not a good marksman, bring a fucking bow."

Rona practically had to shove Bishop off the bed to get him up that early. He was getting used to sleeping in until noon. He groaned, stuffing his face in a pillow and mumbled, "I'll hunt for you later Ladyship..."

She knew how to get him going though and pressed her lips to his ear and whispered, "We have just enough time for a quickie."

His arm shot up, grasping her and pulling her under him. She had a fit of giggles as he started nipping at her neck and groping her. It was indeed a quickie, at her insistence because she didn't want to be late. They finished up, threw on their clothes, strapped on their gear and grabbed some sweet bread as their to go breakfast.

Rona called to Karnwyr and raced him up to Jorrvaskr where she could leave him with Tilma, the older woman who worked as a maid for the Companions. After bribing the wolf to stay there with food she hurried back, running down to the stables to meet with the others.

They were all ready to go, mounted to the steeds they'd rented from Dragon's Reach. Of course Rona and Bishop already had their own horses, taking Misty and Karinda with them. Rona looked them over and noticed that every single one of them had brought bows and quivers full of arrows, just as Bishop suggested. The group headed out, taking the long way through Eastmarch, around the Throat of the World, where they'd trek through the badlands and off into the Rift's forests.

Rona was already feeling anxious. She hadn't faced off against a dragon in nearly a month. She'd seen a few, far off in the distance on her travels out and around Whiterun, but she firmly ignored them every time, no matter how much her blood boiled at the sight of them. It was nice to take a break from constantly battling them. Now she had to mentally prepare herself to face off against possibly two or three all at once. She hoped they could get them separate though. It was not easy fighting more than one at a time, let alone when they were battling each other.

"So," Vilkas said drawing up to her, "Exactly how many of these have you faced?"

"Too many," she said, "If we can get them alone it won't be so bad. But if they're together, well..."

"Yeah," Bishop added, "fought a couple of them once that were having a territorial dispute. It was really nasty."

"I heard they roar fire," Njada said.

"They usually shout fire or ice," Rona said, "Though we've met a few that know both."

"What about you Skjor?" Ria asked him, "The one you faced, did it shout fire or ice?"

"Hmph," he smirked, "Fire."

"Hey, Ladyship," Bishop called over to her, "You should show 'em what it looks like when a dragon shouts." She looked at him with half-lidded eyes and he threw her a snarky smirk.

"Ha. Ha," she said shaking her head, "I don't want to spook the horses."

"I think it's wild when you shout," Aela said, "That time back in the barrow? When all the draugr got up, I thought we were done for, then you just blasted them away with your fire breath. You really are just a little dragon aren't you?"

Rona blushed. Everyone laughed loudly at her reddening face and she pouted, "Quit picking on me!"

Skjor grinned at her, "We only tease because we know the dragon has such a thick hide."

Even Kodlak was chuckling lightly. They carried on while the group asked them more questions about the dragons and what to expect. Bishop and Rona answered to the best of their abilities and then everyone quieted down for a bit as they continued their ride from Whiterun. The day was still new as they trod along past Valtheim Towers. Rona started plucking at her lute and Athis said, "Gonna sing us something?"

"Yeah," Farkas said, "You have a pretty voice."

His boldness made her go pink in the cheeks and of course Bishop just rolled his eyes.

"I can't think of anything to sing," she said. She really couldn't. She was feeling far too anxious to draw any kind of song out.

"I know a song," Athis said.

"Oh yeah Athis? Gonna croon for us?" Aela mocked him.

Athis scoffed at her, "I could sing it you know!"

Rona looked over at him, "What song?"

He looked shy suddenly, "Well... It was the first song I ever heard when I came to Skyrim. It really spoke to me you know. It's a song about the Fatherland."

"Ah yes," Kodlak spoke up, "Old Savo's Song. I would like to hear it."

"My mother used to sing that song," Rona said, "I can accompany you with my lute if you want," she smiled brightly at him.

Athis mumbled, "Yeah alright. I'll give it a go."

Vilkas chuckled, "Oh, I'd love to hear this."

Rona started humming the tune and plucking her lute quickly. Next thing she knew the others started humming along with her, each vocalizing with it and even bouncing their heads and swaying their shoulders with the music. She was definitely surprised to hear Bishop humming quietly beside her as well, a small smile perking at his lips.

(The song is Savo's Song feat. Marco Hietala by Jonas and I)

Athis took a breath and sang more beautifully and passionately than any of them expected. They all glanced at him, some wide eyed and stunned, a few even chuckling with disbelief.

"The stars burn bright in arctic night

The aurora dance on by

Did a sweeter sight ever meet my eye

Did I ever see its kind

In a world beyond my home

World beyond my home

Our ancient trees, our tallest peaks

Have countless tales to tell

If only our vales and lakes

Our streams so clear and deep

Could speak of what they've seen

Speak of what they've seen"

The music poured from Rona, more than just her lute. And then the ghosts of old appeared, startling them all. Companions from a time long past journeyed alongside them, singing the song with them. Athis carried on though, staring and smiling at them all as they joined him.

"They are the ones to tell us how

Remind us here and now

Of all the ones that bravely fought

With all their might forever sought

For our fatherland

For our fatherland"

Rona saw her then, as they crossed on into the badlands. Her mother and another red haired woman who was no doubt Grella. Both were much younger though. Beautiful and powerful female warriors among their mostly male comrades, smiling and laughing together.

She really was the spitting image of her mother. Rose colored locks and bright green eyes, though her mother was slightly shorter than her and had plenty of freckles splashed over her nose, a few poignant scars tracing over her left eye and across her chin as well. She also preferred the dual bladed battleaxe and wore the typical Companions garb of Skyforge Steel and wolves pelts. Her hair was darker and longer too, billowing behind her in a thick braid.

Rona noticed Kodlak staring on at them all, bewildered, though one young man caught his eye. He looked to be Bishop's age...

"I know not of another place

So dear to me as here

Nothing has a sweeter sound

Than calling out so high and loud

My darling Savo home

And nothing has a sweeter sound

Than calling out so high and loud

My darling Savo home

My darling Savo home"

The ghosts of the Companions nearly solidified from their ethereal forms into real, living, breathing people. It had to be Rona's passion, her heart hurting somewhat at the sight of her mother, not wanting her to go. She saw the same expression all over Aela's face as she stared on at Grella... then her expression changed. It took Rona by surprise as Aela's gaze wandered to Claudia and her eyes lit with rage.

Rona turned away, not wanting her to know she'd seen. Why would Aela look at Claudia like that? She couldn't understand. But as her mind drifted into these new thoughts and her feelings dispersed so did the ghosts and the music.

Everyone had stopped and were all looking around in the silence, perplexed.

Finally, Bishop cleared his throat loudly and said, "Well... we going to get moving or...?"

Kodlak was ahead of them, his back to them when he said, "We make camp here and leave again in the morning." He got off his steed and said, "I'm going to secure the perimeter, the rest of you know your jobs." He left, not once turning around.

Bishop watched him go, real concern etched in his own face for the man. Everyone else dismounted and went about building their camp, rolling out their bedrolls, putting up tents and building a fire. Vilkas and Farkas wandered off to go hunting while Skjor pulled Aela aside and spoke with her in hushed tones. She noticed Rona looking over and gave her a half-hearted smile before turning away to walk off with him.

Bishop wrapped his arm around her shoulder suddenly, looking down at her and said, "So... that was your mother huh?"

Rona blushed, "Well, it was her a long time ago, probably from before she even had me."

"She was a real knock-out," he said with a smirk, "I see where you get your good looks."

Rona laughed, "And all my crazy too probably."

"Oh, without a doubt Princess," he agreed, then he looked more serious and said, "I'm gonna go check on the old man."

She nodded and he left her, wandering off in the same direction Kodlak went. She realized then that she may have just dug up a lot of wounds for many of them. Obviously she'd never meant to do that, it just sort of happened. Here she was, enjoying a beautiful song with her comrades and the next she's summoning ghosts of the dead with the power of her music or whatever the hell it was, drawing up visions of the past, of loved ones they'd all lost and throwing it right in their faces.

She sighed, feeling miserable about it. She absolutely hated being the Dragonborn.

Bishop caught up to Kodlak who was standing alone up on Bonestrewn Crest, looking out over the plains as the sun started dipping under the mountains.

He'd spent nearly a month with this crazy old man, learning how to use a sword and training to be a warrior. But he'd also learned so much more from him.

He remembered a particularly frustrating contract they'd gone on together weeks ago. Setting out to clear out Fellglow Keep of a group of mages that had been kidnapping travelers from the road. They went in, cutting the mages down. Of course he got angry and frustrated by it all. He hated magic as much as the next nord, especially when it was being used to try and kill him. There were loud explosions of fire, sharp icy spears being launched at them and he'd gotten hit with some shock spells in the back and chest more times than he cared to count.

They got through it all, somehow and managed to find three cells full of people that had been taken from the road. Travelers, bards, farmers, tradesmen and even a pair of khajiit from the caravans. He looked on at them all, thinking how pathetic they were. How if they'd just trained themselves, if they'd just learned to fight, then this might not have happened to them.

Kodlak released them all immediately and instructed them to go back the way they'd come assuring them the keep was clear. Bishop watched them leave, feeling hateful and furious. Kodlak noticed his ire and said, "What troubles you, lad?"

That word only set him off more. He hated being referred to as though he was some weak, infant child. He was a man for gods sake!

"Why are we even helping them?" He snarled, "They deserve to die!"

Kodlak was taken aback by his words and asked, "Why do you feel that way whelp?"

Bishop just ranted and raved, pacing and throwing his arms out, "If they'd just learned how to fight – how to defend themselves – then maybe they wouldn't be in this mess in the first place! And we wouldn't have to come in here and rescue them!"

Kodlak replied pragmatically, "There are those who were born to be warriors and others who have a different purpose in life. Still, that does not answer the question… Why do you feel that they deserve to die?"

Bishop scowled harshly at him, "Because the world is cruel. That's the way it's always been. The sooner they learn the harsh realities and face them the sooner they can learn to protect their own damn selves. Survive or die, that's the way of the world. There won't always be some great hero or Companion to come save them!"

"Because there was no one to save you?" Kodlak gleaned.

Bishop shot him an angry glare and said, "Exactly. I learned when I was just a boy that there was no one who could protect me but myself. And I did just that – been doing fine ever since."

"Then why do you carry these burdens still? This anger?"

"BECAUSE!" He roared and started talking quickly, "If I don't hold onto it then I'll lose sight of myself! I'll be weak like them! I won't let that happen! I'll protect her! I'll keep her safe – I won't let her die like Jules," he stopped himself, clamming up and cursing himself for even mentioning his brother's name. How had he become like this? So easily revealing the pain within? Was it because of her? Because he'd opened up and let her in and now the secrets he'd kept under lock and key slipped from him far too easily.

"We have all experienced great loss and those of us who have not, will in time," Kodlak said, taking a seat on a toppled over stone pillar, "It is a part of life. There's not a day that goes by that I do not regret the greatest loss in my life."

Bishop muttered, "I regret none of it. They deserved what they got…"

"Are you so sure of that?" Kodlak asked him, looking over at him kindly. His bright eyes were sympathetic. They did not look at him with pity, only sorrow.

Bishop a ran a hand over his head and growled to himself. Was he really going to do this? Allow another person to know his secrets? His pain? His anger and his regret? He'd promised himself he'd change. That he'd do it for her. But, even when he did it for her, told her everything it was so liberating for him, like she'd taken her healing magic and used it on his very soul. Maybe just this once, he'd do it for himself.

He swallowed hard and took a breath, grumbling slightly then sat down on the ruined pillar next to the old man, running his hands over his face and mumbled, "I can't believe I'm about to do this."

Kodlak chuckled, "You don't need to do anything, Bishop. But if you want to share your pain I will gladly listen. We are Shield-Brothers after all. Your burden is mine to bear."

He looked over at the old man, still leaning his head in his hands then took a deep breath and said, "No. I want to do this. It's time I stop hiding… I want to change. I don't want to feel… this way anymore."

Kodlak simply nodded and said, "Well, feel free to take your time telling me. These old bones of mine need a break from all the running around."

Bishop scoffed at him and Kodlak gave him a warm smile, then he turned to look on at an old fireplace where a few logs were burning low as Bishop opened up for the first time since he told Rona. He went on telling his story, in briefer detail, from his cruel childhood with his malicious and brutal father to his useless and neglectful mother. Told him how and why he killed the man, how he escaped with the only other person that mattered to him, how they survived as bandits because it was all they knew and then how one fateful day he was forced to kill his own brother.

He found himself talking still, telling him about how he gave up banditry as well as any inkling of trying to live a normal life in society after that… until he met her. How insane it all was with her at first but there was something about her that drew him to her, that made him want to stay to change and be there for her. He must have gone on for hours, Kodlak listening quietly all the while.

And when he finished talking they were quiet for a moment before Kodlak finally asked, "And how do you feel now?"

Bishop laughed slightly, "Better, surprisingly."

"Do you still think the civilians deserve to die?"

He looked over at Kodlak who was looking back and said, "A little bit… Buuut I'm glad we helped them… I'm glad there was someone who cared enough to help them."

"Well, we're still getting paid," Kodlak chuckled and pushed himself up to stand, running his hands down his back and stretching his old joints, "But I agree. I joined this line of work initially because I was good at it. But I also find myself getting quite a bit of satisfaction from aiding others, helping those who cannot help themselves."

Bishop nodded. It was strange. Kodlak never once asked him any follow up questions and didn't press him for more answers. He just… listened. Bishop had never had anyone do that for him before, save for Rona of course. He even found himself trusting the old man.

Now here he was, up on Bonestrewn Crest, three and a half weeks later, feeling worried for the old warrior. He stood by him and said, "She didn't mean to do that. Sometimes when she plays ghosts of the past appear. She can't really help it."

"Hmm," A small smile appeared through his thick beard, "It's been a long time since I've seen them… been ten years since I saw my son."

In all this time Bishop still hadn't learned the name of Kodlak's son, so he asked him, "What was his name?"

"Brandr," he said.

"Sword of fire," Bishop said, "A strong name."

"I called him that because his birth killed my wife," Kodlak said this matter-of-factly, then he sighed and said, "I'm sure she rests in Sovngarde now. How I envy her, how I wish I could see her."

Bishop took a seat at the edge of the cliff and said awkwardly, "If you want to share your pain, I'll listen. Your burden is mine to bear… Shield-Brother or however the hell it goes."

Kodlak smirked at him and sat down beside him, "I suppose I could rest these old legs of mine for a bit," he paused a moment, stroking his beard and thinking before he started his sad tale, "Brandr was a hot-headed young man and the blame for that lies squarely on my shoulders. Without my wife I struggled to raise him. I was rising in the ranks of the Companions very quickly in those days, which took up most of my time and as a result I neglected the boy. He stirred up quite a bit of trouble, doing anything he could to gain my attention. I was a different man back then, not entirely unlike your father," he met Bishop's eyes with a regretful look, "I often beat him as a means of punishment. It's what my father did to me and what his father did to him. I expect his mother would have been kinder and gentler with him had she been alive to raise him. But alas, instead he had me. A warrior and a brute."

Bishop turned his face away from the man. It disappointed him a bit, knowing that he was like that at one time, though he obviously regretted it. He had changed which was more than he could ever say for Torban, who never would have changed.

"As my son grew older and more resentful of me he started to bury his anger inside. I began training him as a warrior when he was ten years old. I had high expectations of him, considering he was my son. I was hard on him and made his training more difficult than it needed to be. I wanted him to learn discipline, which he could have known much earlier if I had raised him properly," Kodlak took a breath and continued, "As time went on, he too rose in the ranks of the Companions. He became stronger and I found myself feeling quite proud of him, though I failed to show it. Always taking the cold position of a stern father, always pushing him to outdo the others. Treating him as though it was never enough."

"Eventually he gave up trying to earn my love and he got mixed up with a few of the more rough-edged types in our midst. A nord named Arnbjorn, who was a bit older than him took him under his wing and gave him what I never did. I never liked the man, his methods of fighting were duplicitous and underhanded to say the least. He had no sense of honor," Kodlak paused, he was looking tired, like speaking of it all was taking it completely out of him. But he pressed on, continuing to share with Bishop, though it didn't seem to be for his own benefit.

"Brandr became more aggressive and angry, lashing out at the others. I wanted to speak with him, to try and turn him away from the dark path he was following so I took up a contract and made him go with me. That's when it happened. We were sent out to rescue a young girl who'd been taken by the forsworn. She was supposedly the new Sybil of Dibella as the previous one had died. It would be a simple enough task for us and it would give me a chance to speak with my son, away from the ears of the others and far from Arnbjorn's influence."

"We swept through their hold quickly and easily, destroying the savage warriors with ease… but it was when we finally reached the girl that it all fell apart. Brandr told me he was done with the Companions, that he was going to leave. But first, he said he was going to hurt me as badly as I had hurt him. He said he was going to kill me and then kill the girl and make sure everyone knew that it was I that had murdered the Sybil of Dibella and that he had tried to stop me. He wanted to smear my name because for my whole life I'd done nothing but live by my sword with honor and carried my name proudly. I'd treated my position within the ranks of the Companions as more valuable than him."

"He attacked me and I fought back with just as much fury and then… I killed my son," he finished. There were no tears and no sobs. He had said it all as though he were just stating the facts. Bishop had a feeling that he'd come to terms with his pain and regrets long ago. He wondered if he too could look at his own dark past the same way someday.

Kodlak's tale spoke to him. He was a bit surprised by just how similar their stories were and he said, "He betrayed you."

Kodlak shook his head, "No. I betrayed my son when he was just a pup. I blamed him for the death of my wife and I allowed those feelings to affect the way I saw him."

"So this is why you try to help," he scoffed at himself for even saying the words, "new bloods like me?"

Kodlak looked over at him, "It is my atonement for my past mistakes, yes. He was about your age when he died. You really did remind me of him… now though," he smiled at Bishop, "I almost don't recognize you."

Bishop smirked and gave a light laugh, "Yeah, I hardly recognize myself these days." He ran a hand through his hair, shaking his head.

The two of them stood up and looked out over plains, looking to the skies and their colorful mixture of reds, yellows and oranges as the sun set. Bishop rolled his eyes at himself at what he was about to do and moved quickly before he changed his mind. He embraced the old man in a bear hug and said, "Thanks old man."

Kodlak pat him on the back and returned the hug. They stepped back from one another and Kodlak put a hand to his shoulder, giving him a prideful look like a father would to his son, "That sword I gave you. It was Brandr's. I hope you will carry it with you always and use it with honor. You will make a fine warrior Bishop and a better father than I was someday."

The old man turned to head down the path leading back to the others and Bishop stared at his back. Did he know about Rona? Was she? He realized it had been nearly four weeks and he'd never once asked her about…

He took a deep breath and sprint down the path, catching up to walk alongside the old man as they made their return to the camp.