Cause no one's tried to give you what you need, so lay all your troubles down I am with you now.
I'm here for the hard times, the straight to your heart times.

- Matchbox 20, Hand Me Down

Louis swallows nervously as he sticks his head into Donna's office. It's always at least five degrees warmer in her room and the still air makes his nostrils twitch and his throat feel dry but he wipes his palms down the front of his trousers knocking on the glass. "Hey Don, have you got a second?"

She heard him long before he spoke and deliberately keeps her head down, fingers tapping purposefully over he keyboard. "I'm busy Louis." It's harsher than she intends but the bite doesn't stop him from entering and a sigh presses from her lips.

"It's important." He assures, trying not to flinch at the sound. He knows something is going on between her and Harvey. Well, not any specific details. He's only back working a couple of days a week but the tension has been palpable and he slants on the side of her desk trying not to irritate her further. "I can't find the file for the Benton deal and I need it before tomorrow's briefing."

She pauses momentarily, flicking her wrist to work out the ache in her joint. "Isn't that the case Katina's been working on?" She tempers her mood glancing up at him. It isn't his fault the firm's been inundated with work and technically he shouldn't even be back from paternity leave yet. If anything she should be grateful and despite her workload she reluctantly offers her help. "I can go over it with her if you're worried."

"No it's nothing like that," he stumbles biting his lip nervously as his gaze wanders to the door. It's late and dimly lit floor seems unusually quiet which is good and he picks up the brightly colored post-its from her desk fidgeting with them. "She's doing great but I asked one of the associates to check something for me but when I went down there everyone had gone home and I would have looked myself but... see he has this picture of a dog on his desk and its eyes you know, they just-"

"Louis." She cuts off the ramble folding her arms over her chest. He's lying about something she just doesn't know what and leans over suddenly, pulling the stack out of his hands. "What's going on?"

"Nothing." He tries to feign innocence but her glare quickly deters the attempt. "Fine..." he admits with a huff, "I pissed off one of the cleaners last week and I think she's still down there. If she sees me she's just going to start 'accidentally' moving everything around while I'm trying to look for the damn brief. "

His use of air quotes makes her lean back with a tired shake of her head. As per usual nobody else seems to know how to suck it up and aplogise but the lecture forming on her lips stops at his pleading gaze. Between working three days a week and taking care of a new born the least she can do is afford him a little leniency. "Wait here-" she instructs rolling her chair away from the desk, "don't touch anything."

He opens his palms lifting them up with a relieved smile. "I owe you one okay, whatever you need?" She mumbles something unintelligible under her breath as she struts to the door and he waits until she's out of sight before exhaling the breath he'd been holding.

Shakespeare can eat his heart out because he just pulled off the impossible. He just lied to Donna Paulsen and she bought it. It's a feat to be revered but he doesn't waste the time doing it, jumping down to get the hell out instead. The second she realises she is going to be pissed and he does not want to be around for that.

...

The elevator doors open Donna steps out walking into the bullpen with a look of confusion etched on her features. The place is a maze of fairy lights strung up over the petitions and when Harvey steps out of the darkness her pulse skips a beat. They haven't spoken in days, except to be the consummate professionals where required, and she stops deliberately keeping her distance. She's going to fucking kill Louis. "He already has the Benton file doesn't he?" She assumes, folding her arms over her chest.

Harvey nods surprised Louis actually managed to pull off lying. He was half expecting to have to go up there himself and he only feels slightly guilty for the deception. "Katrina gave it to him this morning."

"Son of a bitch..." she mumbles the curse under her breath as she turn on her heel not sure what he was trying to achieve but not in the mood for cheap parlor tricks. He can't just expect to string up some lights and have it fix everything but despite her frustration she stops when his voice cuts through the silence.

"Donna wait."

She hesitates and anger compels her to turn around wondering what the hell he was thinking. "What Harvey? What could you possibly think any of this was going to achieve?"

She flounces her hand at the display and he flinches at the reaction. She's right, he isn't expecting anything from Mike's suggestion. It was a stupid and lame idea but the point isn't. He owes her time but she also deserves a real apology not just some half-assed attempt to gloss over everything that happened and he rolls his shoulders back with a serious expression. "I'm sorry Donna."

The sincerity comes as a surprise but she doesn't let it show keeping her features impassive. "That all, because I have work to do."

"No, it's not."

He swallows roughly, flexing his fingers. The hour long rehearsal did nothing to prepare him for the reality of actually giving a heart-on-his-sleeve speech but it's important and he shakes his hand trying to dispel the sudden rush of nerves.

"I know I hurt you..." he addresses his guilt first, admitting the truth, "I chose you over deals, over clients, over relationships but I kept you at arms length because I was afraid to lose you and that wasn't fair. I was being arrogant and selfish and I should never have put you in that position." He stops stealing a second to compose himself. He wants, needs, to get this right and bites the inside of his cheek exhaling slowly. "I'm not trying to make excuses here. I know I fucked up but I never wanted to hurt you. I just couldn't see it."

He falls silent again and she tenses, emotion threatening to claw its way out but she quickly forces it back down. "You wouldn't let yourself see it Harvey, there's a difference."

He wears the allegation because she's right. He didn't want to face it because that would have meant taking a risk and back then he hadn't been ready. Now he is and the honesty is raw as it spills from his lips. "I know and I was an idiot because it cost me a lot more than just losing a secretary."

She isn't sure what to take from the comment and plants her hands on her hips. "If you're expecting me to apologise for going to work for Louis..."

"No, god that's not what I-" he stops suddenly, shaking his head to align the right words. He doesn't want there to be any misunderstandings between them and swallows trying to steer them back on the right track. "I'm not expecting anything from you and I mean it. If you need time and space I can accept that." It's the hardest part to admit to because he wants to fix things between them but Mike was right he can't rush this. "I'll wait even if it takes another fourteen years because I want you in my life so whatever you need Donna, I'll do it."

The sincerity in his gaze burns through her and she can feel her heart start to pound faster in her chest. This is the first time he's voluntarily been willing to take a step back. In the past it's always been about getting her to give in to his needs and her voice wavers as she challenges him. "How long?"

"I told you-"

"Not that." She doesn't care how long he's willing to wait. What she wants to know is why he's suddenly prepared to let her call the shots, if it's possible she somehow missed his priorities shifting and if they did start to change, when? "How long have you wanted more?"

The question is direct but that's the playing field they're standing on and he thinks back to when they were looking at gifts for Louis' baby shower. It hadn't been obvious to him at the time but that's when he'd started acknowledging his feelings even if he hadn't been able to admit them until weeks after. "You remember the rocking horse we got for Jackson?"

She nods hesitantly and he takes it as his cue to continue, swallowing roughly, "you went to ring it up and you were standing there with that blonde sales assistant... I should have been looking at her but I couldn't take my eyes off you. I think that's when I knew for sure."

The admission lands heavily between them and she wants to trust it wasn't just some random conclusion he came to the night they had sex but that afternoon in the toy store had been months ago and she can't believe there wouldn't have been signs. "Why didn't you didn't say anything?"

He can hear the doubt in her voice and it pulls through his chest but instead of getting defensive his shoulders sag in defeat. God knows he'd thought about it. Even Jessica had urged him to come clean but Thomas had already been in the picture by then so he'd kept quiet. He never thought making the sacrifice would come back to bite him like it is now. "How could I Donna? You were with somebody else, you were happy."

It takes her a full second to realise he's talking about Thomas and the guilt at having forgotten her ex lodges in her throat. Truth is she's barely thought about him all week and as much as she wants to justify it she can't. Since she and Harvey slept together that's all she's been able to focus on and she tears her gaze to a fixed point in the middle of the room.

Harvey tries to read her silence but can't. Whatever is going through her head is lost to him and he takes a deep breath exhaling slowly. "I was going to talk to you the night after Jackson was born." He doesn't know if admitting it will help but can't see a reason not to and fidgets awkwardly thumbing the inner seams of his pockets. "That's why I wasn't drinking."

She hears the note of regret in his voice and locks onto his gaze as the realisation floods her. This whole time she'd been assuming the sex at her apartment was a spontaneous act. A result of being drugged that night not the other way around and she pales suddenly scared of the ramifications. "You're serious."

A humorless laugh threatens to escape but he holds it in keeping his eyes fixed on her. "When have I ever apologised and not meant it?"

Never. Because she's only heard him concede to being wrong on a handful of rare occasions and by comparison this is the most vulnerable she's ever seen him. She doesn't know why it took her so long to see it but her pulse drives rapidly, beating until she starts to feel lightheaded.

He watches her take a step back and even in the dim light he can see her visibly pale his voice thick with concern. "Donna?"

She shakes off his worry leaning on one of the associate's desk and lifting her head up. "Say it."

He knows exactly what she's asking and rolls his head to the side blowing air into his cheeks, "do I have-"

"Say it."

He doesn't, not yet.

Instead he picks up the small bag that's been hiding in the shadows by his feet and watches her eyes draw to the gift. In three strides he closes the distance between them until he's standing near enough to see the fairy-lights reflecting in her pupils. He isn't sure how the gesture's going to be received but he hands it over breathing out slowly. "In case you decide you're ready one day."

Confusion twists in her features as she takes the bag digging through the layers of tissue paper until she brushes over something furry and she pulls it out immediately recognising the small bear. It's the same one she'd been holding in the toy store when he'd asked her about having kids one day and a knot forms in her throat.

"I love you Donna."

He finally says it. Not because she asked him too but because it's the truth and his voice is thick with emotion when she glances up. "I'm not expecting anything I mean that but if you think there's even the slightest chance we could make this work then I'll wait. As long as it takes."

A sharp sting blurs her vision and she hates that it's so obvious but she reaches up to swipe the moisture from her eyes. "Jesus, you're such a jerk." She pushes his chest but there's no intent behind it. She just wants to lighten the pressure until she can breath again and the ghost of a smirk on his lips turns her insides. He's the one supposed to be feeling awkward and out of place, not her, and she's going to kill whoever else was involved in setting this up but not before she thanks them first. If it hadn't been for their friends support she's not sure she and Harvey would have ended up here and she composes herself placing the bear back in its bag. When she glances back up he's no longer smirking his lips pulled together tightly instead and she slides her hand down putting them both out of their misery. "Okay, Harvey."

The air drives from his lungs as she locks their fingers together and he tilts his head trying not to sound like an idiot. "Okay?"

She rolls her eyes. "Okay as in you should kiss me now."

His beams at the direction and doesn't care if it makes him look stupid. He doesn't care about anything except following through and tugs her firmly against his chest closing his mouth over hers and enjoying the slow languid sensation of finally getting everything they both want. For the first time in months -years even- he's not scared of change. Nothing has even felt more right and he pulls back lifting his hand to brush the side of her face with a teasing smile. "I know you're busy, but-"

"Shut up." She doesn't let him finish dragging him back into another kiss and his answering grin stirs a warm sensation in her chest. She thought she could learn to love Thomas and maybe she would have but she's never trusted anything more than the way Harvey's arm wraps protectively around her waist pulling her closer.

As tempting as it would have been to make him wait, this is better. They have the next fourteen years to fight over who gave in first.

AN: Thank you again for all the postie encouragement! The next chapter is going to take a little break from the angst (at least for the fist half ;P) but there will be fluff and lots of it :D