S2 E3 - The Crossword

There is a bit of a contest going on in the station these days… over the crossword puzzle if you can imagine it. Dwayne and Richard are each trying to outdo the other in solving it with the fastest time. Turns out Dwayne has unexpected talents with local vernacular and popular culture that Richard lacks despite HIS special skills. Richard is highly chuffed over it and the gauntlet has been thrown down!

As a result, Fidel and Camille are repeatedly called into action by both contestants and they are getting a bit tired of it. Finally came the day that Camille has had enough.

The first sign of trouble comes when Dwayne asks her, "What's a 7-letter word for 'Ginormous'?"

"Does it start with an 'R'?" she calls out.

"No."

She swivels around, looks Richard right in the eye and calls back over her shoulder, "No idea then, sorry." She answers Richard's horrified look with raised eyebrows.

Richard has stiffened in his chair and shot a furtive glance across the room. Dwayne is puzzling away like blazes as he is very close to matching the Chief's best time but Fidel is trying to cover a huge grin. Green eyes flash back to smoky brown ones, "Oh, spare me…" he whispers, giving her his best 'Please, don't do this to me!' look.

It is totally ignored.

After several more queries from Dwayne, even he puts his paper down and looks at her, "Camille? What's with the seven letters startin' with 'R'? None of those fit!"

She takes a deep breath, giving Richard a lidded look, "Well, it fits wonderfully if you are…"

Richard shoots to his feet, "Lunch time! Everyone! Lunch time. Let's off to La Kaz. My treat!"

As everyone jostles to tidy their desks and Dwayne carefully jots down the time so he can carry on with his puzzle-race when he gets back, Camille meets Richard at the front door. He looks a bit flushed and annoyed as he whispers, "That was VERY childish… and very French, if you don't mind my saying so."

"Oui," she smiles and whispers back, "VERY French… and it makes the crossword fun for me too… after all, my 7-letter word that starts with 'R' fits so beautifully anywhere and anytime!"

"Camille! Keep your voice down," he hisses but can't help looking extremely pleased as he colours prettily, making sure to keep his back to the men.

She slips an arm through his, "I'll keep it down if you promise to fit me up as soon as you can."

He casts a forlorn look back at his other officers. Dwayne is locking up but Fidel is watching them with a calm knowing demeanor. "Oh, you are impossible. You might as well wear a sign saying, 'I'm boffing the boss and I don't care who knows it!'."

"I'm NOT boffing the boss. I'm boffing YOU. There's a difference..." she leans in and strokes his cheek, "… a world of difference," she purrs then straightens back up, "And I DO care who knows it. It's only you and me and Fidel and…"

He stops on the station steps and turns alarmed eyes upon her, "And?"

She gives him a slow smile, "And Maman, of course."

He shudders, "How did SHE find out?"

"She's French… she knew the instant she saw me after that first time."

"Oh, marvellous! I just know she will poison me now and have done with it!"

"Nonsense! She's most pleased." Camille gets him moving again as the other officers are coming down behind them. She leans in and whispers, "Haven't you noticed how circumspect she's been these past few weeks? The pressure is off ME… and all onto YOU."

"Me? Why me… oh. Blast. Well, I guess it serves me right… taking on TWO French women. All right, I'll speak to her today about my intentions." He pats her hand possessively as they cross the parking lot.

She waits a beat then growls, "Shouldn't you speak to ME first?"

He gives her an amused look, "Fine. What's a 9-letter word, starting with 'M', meaning 'to join'?"

"I don't know. What is it?"

"Why don't you ask Dwayne? He's become quite a whiz at the crossword." She pesters him all the way to La Kaz but he just smiles and shakes his head, "YOU figure it out, Sergeant. That's your job, after all!"

It is over his second cup of perfect tea when a small explosion occurs. Camille's head shoots up from her hushed conference with Dwayne, hits Richard amidships with a blazing look, then rushes off to find her mother. Richard smooths down his tie and sits back with a satisfied sigh.

Dwayne is looking after Camille with a frown, "Why would the word 'matrimony' upset her like that? It's just the crossword puzzle, right, Chief?"

Fidel quirks an eyebrow as Richard answers, "Right, Dwayne, just a puzzle… a life-long one, I hope."

Dwayne shakes his head, "Women! Half the time they make no sense… and the other half of the time you don't WANT to know what they're thinkin'. Still… what good is Life without them, hey?"

Fidel lays a firm hand on Dwayne's arm as he sees Catherine and Camille approaching, "Time for us to go, Dwayne. I seem to recall you made a mistake on 21-down back at the station."

"What? No way! Show me!" Dwayne hauls Fidel up and turns to the Chief, "Sorry, sir, but I gotta go check this out. I'm SO close to matchin' your time! You understand?"

"Oh, I understand, all right. Off you go. Good luck."

Fidel calls back over his shoulder, "You too, sir, good luck," and they are gone.

Watching the women approach, Richard murmurs most contentedly, "I don't need luck… I have them." The women settle themselves on either side of him and he smiles serenely, "Ladies… I believe we have a 'merger' to discuss."

"Oui," Catherine sighs, "… finally."

Camille slips a hand over his and says, "That clue you gave me better have been the word 'matrimony' otherwise there is going to be bloodshed right here and right now! Did I get it right?"

"Yes, dearest, you got it right. You've gotten it right for a long time now and I am ready to capitulate totally and completely. I place myself in your hands. Do with me what you will."

There is a long pause.

Camille stands and speaks without taking her eyes off Richard, "Maman, I trust you to draw up whatever plans you like. I have something else that needs immediate attention." She pulls Richard to his feet and none to gently chivvies him to the door calling back over her shoulder, "We'll get back to you in a little while… tomorrow even… to see what you've come up with… just nothing too grand, please."

Richard just manages to call out, "… no sand… and no LIME!" before he disappears from view.

Catherine watches them go with a knowing smile, Ah, to be young and in love! "No fear, my darlings… I'll wait for you to return before tackling the plans. It's enough to know that…" but she is speaking to thin air. They, too, are gone. Sitting back, she sighs, How wonderful to have agreement at long last!

She goes to her bar and opens the small cupboard below it. She puts away the cold white candle stubs. She brings out the thick red candles and lights them. She puts away the jar of dried frangipani flowers. She plucks a sprig of 'Neverdone', an ever-blooming periwinkle she's been growing at her back door for over a year now, from behind her ear and burns it over the candles. Yes, she thinks, just what is needed NOW… something fertile and non-stop, lasting down through the generations with vigor and strength.

"Mmm," she hums as she watches the sprig flare up much hotter than it should... a VERY promising omen… it never hurts to help matters along… just a gentle push, mind you… not that Camille needs it… not MY daughter!

"Mmm," she sighs again, smiling… nor him, either, for that matter. She'd seen the look in his eyes when he left… there isn't much need for ANY of this, she reckons…

… but she likes to think that she is helping things along, none the less.

Grand-maman has SUCH a nice ring to it, n'est pas?

END