"Spock!" McCoy yelled down the charred corridor as he ran after the first officer. "You cannot just be going over there to that leviathan!"
"Yet I am doing exactly that, Doctor." Spock was now in his dress uniform, which was similar to his standard blue uniform but with a gold collar and line down the middle. "Doctor, I am not risking you offending our guests. Please return to sickbay."
"Offend our guests? I'm not offensive, I'm a doctor!"
"As you constantly demonstrate, Leonard, the two are mutually compatible."
Stopping by the airlock, the only officer outranking Kirk & Spock flicked her wrist at McCoy, convincing him leaving would be a prudent thing to do. Admiral Talunas also wore her dress uniform, only that it was green and actually a dress. She looked at first glance to be an Andorian, having the blue skin & antenna, but the observer would soon notice her darker hair and her pointed ears.
Before the admiral had come aboard, Spock had never met her or even heard of her. Now he knew of her, he went over the possible reasons an Andorian & a Vulcan would mate. Andorians needed 4 genders to reproduce anyway, so how had this happened? Dismissing such thoughts, Spock said, "Greetings, Admiral, it is agreeable to see you are well."
"Hello, Commander, I... Oooh! Hehe!"
Spock stuck his head around to the airlock window and saw what had made Talunas giggle. He reflected that while it may not be seemly for a flag officer to giggle at an new first contact, a part-time fashion designer may. "You are amused by the gentleman's size, Admiral?"
"He must be 2.5 metres and he has to bend over. I love the red armour and the cream shoulders, they go well together."
The giant stepped out of the airlock once it declared it was safe to do so, alongside his attendant who was obscured by his bulk. The large man looked like a standard pink-skin, but he was balding and had several metal circles embedded in his forehead. He blinked as normal, but some of the blinks made a click sound, like an old-fashioned camera. His colleague was smaller. She had flowing black hair and green skin, and wore a large, enveloping red robe.
"In the name of the Emperor, I offer you greetings," said the giant. Crossing his hands so they made the same bird shape as emblazoned on his breastplate, he said, "I am Brother-Captain Gabriel Angelos of the Blood Ravens 3rd Company."
Deciding to return the gesture, Spock raised his left arm, split his fingers into two groups, and gave the Vulcan salute. "Peace and long life. I am Commander Spock, first officer of the United Star Ship Enterprise representing the United Federation of Planets."
The admiral added, "Good morning. Admiral Talunas, former captain of the USS Exeter and the designer of the former and current Starfleet uniforms."
Spock raised an eyebrow. Now he had even more questions. "And you, madam?" he asked the Orion-like woman.
"Artificer Gana," she said quietly. "I help the gods of war put on their holy armour."
"You help him dress?" Talunas said with a somewhat high voice. "What's he like underneath? Do you like it?"
"My physical appearance without covering is a matter of public record," Angelos said. "The Chapter Serfs do not talk much when we are around. Do you have someone assigned to guide us around?"
"We have," said Spock. "Ensign Pavel Chekov."
"A Vostroyan, probably. Very well, Commander."

On the other side, Chapter Serf Optio Suma had heard everything. Having heard his captain call someone who looked like him an Abhuman, he remembered how some jumpy fanatics reacted to him on planets just attacked by the Eldar. Many of them had never seen the Eldar themselves, just their armour, but they heard Eldar has pointy ears and that made them think he was an Eldar. Suma wasn't, he was just a Human with green-blood and unusual hearing organs. Now, two pointy-ears were coming, and one of them looked like an insect as well as a Human. "Live long and prosper," said the male drily. "I am Commander Spock."
"Admiral Talunas," said the female, who seemed to be able to smile.
"Optio Suma,"said the serf with a perfect Vulcan salute. "Peace and long life, Commander."
"Where shall we go first, Optio. Any ideas, Spock?"
"I would like to see your medical facility. Who is your doctor?"
"We have two chief medics. The first is Serf Centurion Ro Edon, who has a wrinkly nose. The second is the Space Marine Master Apothecary, Steve."
"Your Space Marines are certainly quite handsome," said the admiral. "How many are there, Optio?"
"Around 90, Admiral. Most of them will be in the apothecarium anyway, so follow me."
As the Starfleet officers travelled further through the massive hallways that were both brightly lit and full of shadows, Talunas asked, "Mr Spock, do you think the Vulcan and the Orion really think they are Human?"
"Perhaps Human has become a broader term, Admiral. Maybe in their language, which of course they are speaking right now, 'humanoid' has corrupted to'human', though I am still puzzled by 'Abhuman'."
"The uniform?" Talunas asked Spock as they waited for the Master Apothecary to get a healthy Space Marine to meet them. "What about it?"
"Some of the crew repeatedly ask why women must wear miniskirts, Admiral."
"They don't have to, no one does. It's an option open to all, you can wear one if you want."
"I see."
"Commander, I designed the miniskirt to fit beings with wider appendages, such as tentacles. I then found that some cultures refuse to wear trousers unless they have to, such as the Ashurites. I sized the skirt down to fit humanoids and added tights with the same protective properties as the trousers. Finally, I decided I liked the skirt myself and started wearing it as part of my uniform. I started a trend, that's all."
"Then, Admiral, why do some women believe it is compulsory?"
"I expect that with all 13 Constitution class ships commanded by men, some standing orders may not have reached the crew in the same way they were sent out."
"Hello," said a giant dressed only in red underpants. "Brother-Sergeant Tulka, ready to impart wisdom."
"Hello, handsome," Talunas said. "I mean, hello, Sergeant. I take it your apo...apoth... doctor has already given our names."
"He has, Admiral, Commander," said the blue-skinned Blood Raven. When he spoke, a blue tongue flicked out of his mouth. "What is it you wish to know."
"One moment, sir," Spock said. He grabbed Talunas and dragged her to an alcove. "Admiral," he whispered, "I should warn you that what you are doing could be regarded as sexual harassment."
"Don't be... Good point, Mr Spock."
"Thank you. Brother-Sergeant, we are hoping to know more about what has happened in the last 30000 years and how you Space Marines contribute to this."
"Kill the mutant, purge the heretic, purge the unclean!" roared the Bolian. "We prefer to study and understand those who want to kill us, avoid making new enemies, and protect rather than destroy those we should protect. Our presence remakes the past."
"Intriguing," Spock said. "Very... interesting."

"This is our third recreation room," Chekov told the guests as they looked at each other on reaching yet another identical chamber.
"This is as good a place as any," said the Space Marine. "I've received word and I would like to tell your crew."
"Here?" asked the Orion serf.
"Here."
"Crew of the USS Enterprise, this is Captain Gabriel Angelos. Listen to me. As you know, we are holding your ship in my ship. My ship captain plans to hold our original course as there are facilities in the system that will serve all of you. We have a Forge World to look over your ship and a Garden World to give you peace of mind. We are in fact setting off now. If anyone wants to look out of a window and see our warp drive in action, you may not. I anticipate such a question always. We estimate that we will reach our destination in 2 days. Thank you."
"A Forge World?" Chekov asked. "Is that a factory?"
"A whole planet of factories. Do not go down there."
Chekov shrugged and suggested that the Angelos and Gana move on to the arboretum.
"Not yet, Ensign. There are men & women who serve on this ship who deserve the knowledge. Knowledge is power, and for once I grant you some power. Are there any questions?"
"Do you always wear armour?" asked one of the security officers, a large, black haired Human named Roger Lemli.
"No, though considering this ship is falling apart, I find it prudent to wear a spacesuit."
A bald woman with blue skin stood up, straightened her uniform, and looked closely at the Space Marine's armour. "I can smell something. Is this powered?"
"Yes, well done."
"I'd like to introduce Ensign Yoqra, the first Bolian in Starfleet," Chekov said quickly.
"Bolarus joined the day I was born. My mother and co-dads were determined to get me into Starfleet."
"And now you are here. Congratulations, lieutenant. Are all Humans on your world blue?"
Not just Yoqra, but all present in the recreation room blinked in surprise. "I'm not human. I'm humanoid yes, and we have blue blood, blue tongues, and blue skin."
"Ah yes, I remember you now. We have 7 Battle-Brothers similar to you. They're proud to call themselves Human."
"Can I meet them, Captain?"
"You may, if they agree. Walk softly and carry a big gun, that's what I say."
As more questions poured in, Chekov sighed, "This is going to be a long two days."

The humongous plains of Reolaz had the occasional lump of rockcrete interrupting it, but for the most part the planet was one large woodland park. That was the nature of Garden Worlds, places of relaxation and rest from the continuous grim darkness of eternal warfare.
The auburn hair of one of the garden shop adepts blew in the wind as he gave another officer of the Cadian 87th advice on how to arrange St Macharius' Tulips to give out the best scent. "Yes, Major, a pentagram will work wonders."
"Thank you," growled the scarred, muscular veteran. There were rumours he was half-Ogryn.
"Any time, sir!"
Uljuy stepped back from the veteran and saw another Cadian Major asking him to help. "I see you have decent anti-plant grenades," she said, "but I hear you also have plant-growth acceleration weapons. Is that correct?"
"I am not aware of such a product, Major."
"I didn't think so, it was just gossip I got from the Commissar. Thank you anyway."

It was probably a better life than most people got. There was none of the sweatshops Uljuy read so much about on the holo-link, nor gangers or mutants. In fact, he could wander freely through the forest. It was just outside the primary garden, and always filled with tweeting & barking. Sometimes, Uljuy actually saw the birds & dogs making the noises.
"AAAAHHHHHHH!"
Uljay was about to speak when he saw exactly who was making the noise. A plain white cone burned behind a slim man (he looked male) who was struggling out of the pod. The man looked like he didn't have any bones considering how flexibly he moved, and his skin had a strange, almost crystalline glow. He looked up at the adept. "Mon'keigh?"
"Welcome to Reolaz," said the adept. "Shall I call for help?"
The stranger writhed and was free. When he stood up straight, his skin lost the glow and was the same shade of cream as Uljay's. "No, not yet. I can't. I need to hide from the Harlequins. I borrowed a book from the Black Library and I... I wasn't meant to."
"Um, OK. Come with me. My hab-block isn't far from here."

"I've seen weirder," said Uljay's roomate once he and the stranger stepped through the portal. "Look at me."
Uljay's roomate, Jedra, had ridges along her cheeks and forehead. Both were adepts in the primary garden, though Jedra served in Reolaz Palace, the seat of the governor. The retail adept nodded and replied, "He says xenos are trying to kill him and he only just escaped. A xenos race called the Eldar."
"Not heard of them, sorry."
"He asks we shelter him until he can be sure they haven't tracked him here. He says he can make it worth our while."

"Hangar bay doors opening," said Sulu as the Blood Raven ship prepared to let the Enterprise loose. "I've set a course for the drydock."
Reolaz IV Orbital Forge waited, it's crab-like claws ready to hold the Enterprise in place. It wouldn't take long to...
"Sir," Lieutenant Moreau said as she leaned over the science scope, "I scanned Reolaz III and I detected a Vulcan lifesign."
"I'm not surprised, lass," Scotty said.
"Then I checked again. It was Romulan and kind of crystalline."
Scotty leapt off the command chair and dashed to the science station. "Let me see. Ah. Now that's a point of interest. Uhura, our hosts."
"Hailing frequencies open."
"Captain Ufrat, we have detected a lifesign of the surface that we're not sure should be there."
"Is it crystalline?"
"Aye."
"We saw it. We're dealing with it."

Another spiky behemoth appeared on the screen, it's prow pointing straight at the Enterprise' deflector. "Captain," said Sulu to a now recovered Kirk. "I don't like this."
"Uhura?"
"They're not responding."
"Then we may have a problem. Get me Mr Spock."

Flicking his communicator open, Spock asked, "Spock here, Captain."
"Spock, there's another ship heading for us. We're reading energy spikes!"
Talunas heard this and left the Space Marine alone to join Spock. Pressing the ship's intercom, she asked, "Bridge, what is that ship approaching ours doing?"
"We're not sure," said Ufrat. "Correction, it's arming weapons! We'll try to find out what's happening. Bridge out."
"Stay here," boomed the Master Apothecary. "It is an Adeptus Mechanicus warship!"

"What are you doing?" Ufrat shouted at her holo-link. "Back off."
"Affront to Omnissiah," whispered the metallic head. "Do not interfere."
"I will interfere. Back off or I will kill you."
"Goodbye."
"They're still moving," said the tactical Serf.
Ufrat took a walk around the bridge, admiring the polish on the wooden rail, and then turned around. "Kill them."

"A second Mechanicus ship," said Sulu. A quick glance into the tactical scope made him smile. "They're targeting the attacking ship."
"Good, good," Kirk said. His hands gripped the command chair so hard the sweat was adhesive.
Yet another warship burst in, this time from a purple vortex. White & grey, it was identical to the Blood Raven vessel. Without slowing down, it swerved right between the hostile Mechanicus vessel and the Enterprise.

"The Space Wolves are here," said the Master Apothecary. He and the other Battle-Brothers had joined the Starfleet officers when they returned to the apothecarium as the Enterprise arrived at Reolaz and all of them were shouting support to their transhuman comrades. A dozen big, muscular brutes were punching the air.
"I fear this will all be for nothing," said Spock. "I believe this will be vicious."
"Hold my hand, Commander," the Admiral whispered. "Please."

Beams and torpedoes aimed for the Enterprise slammed into the Space Wolf strike cruiser's void shields, causing them to vanish into the blackness of space. The friendly Mechanicus vessel gave the hostile ship a good thrashing as it passed overhead, in a battle so close that the ships could read the writing on each other's hulls. Normally, ships would never even see each other. The Enterprise continued limping to the drydock, when a green bolt burst onto the ship's secondary hull. Sparks flew across the bridge, and the deck plating behaved like there was a small earthquake- which there was.
"Warp core hit!" Lieutenant Moreau screamed. "James!"
"How long?" Kirk sighed. His head fell into his hands. "How long until my..."
"2 minutes."
It was the one thing Kirk never wanted to do. He hit the intercom so hard it nearly broke. "This is Captain Kirk. All hands to escape pods. Abandon ship."
Without hesitation, the bridge crew either entered the single pod attached to the bridge or left in the turbolift. "James," Moreau asked when she saw Kirk sit down at the helm. He was clearly staying there.
"I'm buying you time," he said. "Go!"

On a screen in the apothecarium, Spock watched as the crumbling Enterprise shed its hull to reveal dozens of small boxes zooming away. "It cannot be! Jim!"
"Yet it is," Talunas said. "I'm sorry."
In the depths of space, the USS Enterprise NCC-1701 ripped apart in an explosion the size of a small island chain.