Week Twenty-Seven: Pressure

"Well, it looks like you might be meeting your baby a little early," the ob-gyn said, leaning in and creasing her brow as she looked at Cameron's charts. "I'm seeing some signs that we may have to do a C-section. It's not ideal, but…"

Cameron nodded as she listened to the woman speak. Her mind was racing – what if this had been a bad idea? What if this child born on a whim was the only one she would ever have?

"We need to make sure the baby is okay," Cameron said, feeling like everything she was saying was unnecessary. She was being a trope, a statistic, every mother fawning over her baby.

It helped to have empathy, of course; she could take a step back and understand the medicine of it – she always could.

But this was her only chance. No, she meant House's only chance – she was doing this as a favor to him, a last way to save him even though she would never forgive him for what he had done to Chase.

She had imagined the kind of baby she could have had with Chase. A perfect blonde child, or maybe with chestnut-brown hair and big green eyes. Chase had the kind of good looks a geneticist would pay top dollar for, the kind of looks that could turn a kid into a model one day.

The chances were pretty different for House's kid. Not that House was bad-looking, in is way, but…

"What do I have to do?" Cameron asked a second later. She understood all of the jargon the doctor was telling her, but it was getting harder to tune in on the voice without her ears ringing.

"Keep an eye on everything. Just pay anything, if you have anything that seems like it isn't right, anything at all, just call and let me know and we'll take it from there. But I wouldn't be too worried – the technology we have nowadays is really amazing, and your baby, I'm sure, will be just fine unless there's something unexpected that happens."

Cameron didn't feel like reminding him that she had spent years of her life trafficking in the unexpected, the weird, the things that didn't make sense, the things from everyday life that suddenly killed seemingly healthy people. Maybe she wouldn't even make it through this; maybe she would be gone and someone else would have to pick up with this. What if after all this, they decided they didn't want the baby to be a donor for House? It would have all been for nothing.

Well, not for nothing. Cameron looked down at her stomach and sighed. There was going to be a whole other person born out of this; she had to remember that. She couldn't just think of the immediate future. What was she going to do about the baby? Would the baby be angry once they found out that Cameron had been using them from the start?

She didn't even know whether this tiny person was going to be a he or a she, but she had already decided their destiny, or part of it anyway. They would be irrevocably tied to House; hell, they already were.

So was Cameron, whether she had tried to fight it or not. He would be in every hurried breath, every worry, every doubt.

Would she ever get Chase back, if that was what was right? She had thought it would be right forever.

She couldn't think about Chase right now; it would make her head hurt and make her feel like she was stuck at the bottom of the ocean, swimming for her life. Watching Chase overhead with only his feet below the surface, unable to push up high enough to grab a hold of his flippers. And would he even pull her up if she could? Or would he just leave her there?

"You should probably take a seat," the physician's assistant said, and she hadn't realized that she had been wandering around in the hall. She couldn't be like this.

"I'm not interested," Cameron fired back, ignoring her. That wasn't fair – the woman was just doing her job, trying to keep her corralled and from going off the deep end.

But Cameron knew too much to be corralled.

"House," Cameron said into the phone, trying to keep herself from tearing up. House would run away if she started getting emotional; it would just be a stereotype for him to poke fun at, or maybe to analyze. She didn't want to hear any of that right now, so she had to keep it clipped and civil. This was a mistake.

"Okay… Are you still there? Was there something you wanted to say?" House's voice on the other end felt far away, and there was something in it she couldn't quite read. Maybe this was starting to get to him, too, all of this – things did tend to get to House in a way he didn't ever show until he utterly fell apart in front of everyone. Cameron couldn't stop to forget that.

"I just wanted to let you know what's going on. The baby might be early, so… I wanted to keep you posted. After all… your kid too and all."

"Do you want me to give you… some potential diagnoses?" House inquired. "It could be…"

"I don't want to hear potential diagnoses, House. I just want you to know. I want you… to be in the loop."

She heard him sigh.

"Thank you… for keeping me in the loop. I don't know what help I can give. You know that I don't do… supportive… I just…"

"Thank you for listening to me, House. I'll see you… down at the hospital or… at my apartment, or… somewhere."

Cameron hung up the phone and wasn't sure if she now felt better or worse about everything. She should have known that she couldn't rely on House to be someone who she could… to be Chase, more or less.

She missed Chase. She couldn't help it.

But what could she do about it now?