... annnddd a Happy New Year!
He waited until the sobs gently petered out before kissing her gently on the head and lifting her up in his arms, bridal style. He carried her halfway down the hall before she stopped him.
"No… don't take me out there, please Al… they can't see me like this. They can't."
"They won't," he promised. "I won't ever let anyone else see you like this." And he meant it. Ever since that moment under Central when he had scooped the girl up in his arms to carry her away from the fighting to safety, he had felt protective of her. He knew that he had to protect her no matter what. This only made that feeling stronger than it ever had been before.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder, still shuddering slightly.
"It's okay Mei. It's okay."
It was a challenge getting the Empress past her guards and to her room. She showed him a secret passageway that supposedly only the Emperor/Empress themselves knew about that led either directly to the Imperial room or to the river that separated the palace from the forest of the mountains behind it. He had to transmute a door to actually get into her room since it was locked and Mei was nodding off in his arms, but the majority of her guards were still outside the throne room, not guarding her bedroom.
It was a bit of challenge trying to get her to let go of him when he reached her bed, but after about three minutes and finally waking her up, she let go of his tunic and curled up in the lavish blankets and pillows.
"Don't leave me," she muttered when he stood up. "Please…"
"I'll be right here when you wake up," he promised gently. "I'm not going to leave you Mei. Not ever."
She fell asleep.
Mei felt… different when she woke up. Ever since the moment she had been named heir to her father's throne she had been scared for her life. Every moment, awake or asleep, she knew that she was in danger of being assassinated. That had never been a new threat, but it had been a threat that had increased seven fold since her ascension.
For the first time since that moment… she felt safe.
She didn't feel like she needed to be alert for the hundreds of opportunities someone would have to kill her. She didn't feel like she had the hopes of her entire clan squared directly on her shoulders. She didn't feel like she was solely responsible for the millions of people in her country. She didn't feel like there were millions of people with their eyes on her, waiting for her to fail.
She felt safe.
She didn't want to lose that feeling. She didn't want to open her eyes, not for anything.
Except…
"Mei?"
So open her eyes she did.
Her first thought was that it was some sort of vision. Perhaps she had died. That image of a handsome, caring man could only be divine. The gold caring eyes and matching hair had to support that. Then as the sleep continued to recede and Mei regained control of her mental faculties, she realized who it was at her bedside.
With that realization came the memory of the night before.
Mei almost wanted to hide her face under her many blankets after remembering. How could she allow him to see her so weak? She had dissolved into a mess of emotions and weakness in from him! How could she expect to stay strong for her people if she was falling apart at the slightest prompting from an Amestrian?
Then she realized something else. She probed behind her ears.
"Where's my crown? Where is it!"
She was about ready to go into a full panic, when Al directed her attention to her bedside table, where it was gently resting, along with the apparatus she wore to keep it in place.
"You should not have touched my crown, Ambassador," she said, trying to control her breathing. "That is an ancient, sacred relic of the Xingese royalty—"
"Mei," he said, cutting her off, a capital offence, not the mention the fact that he used her first name. "I don't care."
She jerked back slightly.
"How could you say something—"
"I. Don't. Care." His voice was very measured and calm. "I don't care, Mei. I care about the fact that from the moment I came to this country, the one time you've called me by my name, you were begging me not to let your own protectors see you. I care about the fact that I haven't even seen or heard about you taking a bath because you're worried that someone's going to try to take the throne from you in the meantime. I care about the fact that the person I was looking forward to seeing the most in Xing, seems to have been devoured by this ancient piece of metal and jewels that I'm not even supposed to touch. I care about you, Mei."
She stared at him, jaw slightly lax.
"Now, please, tell me what's going on. You may think you can handle this on your own, and maybe you can. But you don't have to. So please… let me help."
He reached out to grab her hand and she looked away.
"Let me help."
She couldn't answer.
He intertwined his fingers with hers. "Please."
"I can't."
"Yes, you can."
"You don't understand Al. You just can't."
"I understand being alone Mei. I understand it a lot better than you think. I spent half of four years all alone. Four years' worth of nights alone. No matter how much Ed tried to sympathize, he couldn't understand what it was like. He didn't know how isolated I felt all the time in that armor. Even during the day, everyone else could touch, feel each other, smell each other, enjoy food together. I was still alone. Everyone who thought that it was a blessing, or an advantage… the price wasn't just not feeling. It wasn't just peace. The price was feeling alone all the time."
"But Al… I can't. It's not admitting it to you it… admitting it to myself… I can't. If I do, then I'm only what everyone says I am."
"Wonderful? Strong? Beautiful? Kind? Caring?"
"Weak. Pathetic. Incompetent."
"Amazing."
"Al…"
"Amazing." He moved so that he was sitting next to her on the bed. She looked directly away from him, but he only pulled her close so that she was being held in his tight embrace.
"Al…"
"Let me help you, Mei. Please."
"Al…"
"Please."
"I…"
"Let me help you."
"I don't want to be Empress." It was said quickly, so quickly Al almost wasn't sure he had heard it.
"… what?"
She looked away and closed her eyes, as if she was admitting a terrible secret. Which she was.
"I don't want to be Empress. I hate it. I hate it. I thought I would be able to handle it, but I can't. It's horrible. I know that I'm going to make a mistake and I'm going to let everyone down. I'm so weak and stupid. I can't do this, Al, I can't. Ling should have gotten the stone first, anything, anyone but me. I'm going to ruin this country, I'm going to ruin everything. Centuries of tradition are going to be ruined because they let a stupid little girl onto the throne." Her eyes were shining with unshed tears when she looked at him, and then glared at the crown on the table.
"I hate that thing. I hate it."
"Mei…"
"Call me weak, Al. Call me pathetic. I can't take the pressure. I can't."
"But you're not weak, Mei. You're not pathetic. You're human," he said, rubbing her arms comfortingly. "You're only human."
"I'm supposed to be the Daughter of the Morning, Al. I can't be just human."
"But you are. No one person can take on all of this responsibility by themselves. Especially not wearing that thing all day. You have to lean on people."
"How can I? The Elders all hate me, my siblings would all be more than happy to stab a knife in my back, and I'm losing the support of the rich with all the moves I've been making favoring the poor."
"You can trust Ling," Al suggested. "The Yaos have many powerful friends among the clans."
"He's the one I beat for the throne the most! I can't trust him!"
"I've talked with him though. He's perfectly happy with his position in the Yao clan right now. Your decree never said who the mother of your heir from the Yao clan had to be… he married the love of his life and they're happy. He wouldn't have been able to do that if he had become Emperor and had to marry 50 wives."
She didn't respond, so Al continued. "And Prime Minister Mustang. You saved Lieutenant Hawkeye's life; he'd give you all the international support you need. They wouldn't be able to displace an Empress that's close personal friends with the leader of a very powerful nation."
"Two supporters…"
"Ling could bring in more. And many of the courtiers would want to be friends with someone who is close to powerful friends… that's you."
She nodded slowly.
"And… you have me."
"You?"
"Me," he repeated. "I'll always be here for you Mei. Whether you need me to do what I can in court or… just as a friend."
"I could use a friend…" She said after a few moments of silence. Al smiled at her and kissed the top of her head.
"I can do that. I can do that, Mei."
"Hey Ed…"
"Al! Is something wrong? Why are you calling? And at this hour. Don't you need to get some sleep for the train ride tomorrow? I don't want you to come back and be too exhausted to be of any use!"
"Actually, Brother…" Al glanced around him before leaning forward slightly so that he could see the Empress walking into the throne room, shoulders back and head held high. No one ever would have been able to guess the events of last night looking at her now. She stood as tall and proud as ever.
The image of her though, the feeling of her crying in his arms, the sound of her sobs and pleads… they were permanently burned into his memory.
"I can't come home."
"What?"
"Something came up. I… I need to stay here in Xing."
"But… you said you were ready to leave, that you wanted to come home."
"Something came up. I… I need to stay here in Xing."
"But… you said you were ready to leave, that you wanted to come home."
"I know. But… I really need to stay. The Empress needs me to do something for her and I have to do it."
"You're an Amestrian citizen, Al, the beansprout can't tell you what to do."
"I know, Ed. But I really need to do this. I'm sorry. I really am. But I have to stay."
"You'll be coming back before Winry has the baby though, won't you?" Winry was about two months pregnant, so she should be having the baby in seven months, maybe less if he was premature like Ed was afraid he would be. Al bit his lip.
"I should be."
"Good, because that's something you can't afford to miss. Don't forget to call, alright?"
"Of course."
"Alright. Bye Al."
"Goodbye Brother." Ed hung up on the other end and Al was left listening to a dial tone before hanging up the phone himself and recalling. He told the operator who he wanted to talk to and waited patiently as his call was connected.
"Hello?"
"Ling. I need you to come down to the Capitol. I need a few favors."