Bellamy struggled with his conscious on this mission. As he darted through the woods on his steed, his mind weighed his options: alert Lexa of the Ark's correspondence or not. If he told Lexa, there was a possibility that Lexa would protect him from the Council. His fear was building so much of the consequences of shooting Jaha back on the Ark that his pride almost seemed willing to surrender to be under Lexa's wing. Ultimately, he did not want to have to answer to anybody. He felt if the Dropship had just been left alone, his conscious finally would have relaxed, but now he felt like he was being surrounded by authority. All Bellamy ever wanted was to be a free man.
It had to be at least dusk by now, as he could see the sun setting through the trees. He came to a halt to let his horse desperately drink up a river, while he sat against a tree trunk contemplating his moves. While he hated having to answer to anyone, his instincts of self-preservation told him that Lexa was his best choice. After all, the woman had granted him a position of power instead of bringing a fight. The Ark would not accept him, even if he was involved with Clarke's political success. He would be executed, not doubt about it. In the gears of his mind, he began to fabricate a story to confess to Lexa, about how much the Ark was a threat to the Hundred, and most importantly, to Clarke. He knew the best way to sell his story was to include Clarke- Lexa wouldn't be able to resist wanting to protect her new-found soulmate. But the best lies are the ones that hold grains of truth, and the best he could do to convince the Commander was to confess their criminal past.
He would tell the Commander that they were all essentially misdemeanor offenders, nothing too serious, but that the Ark, with their unforgiving nature, had sent them on this believed-to-be suicide mission to clear their records, but that they would no longer be in control of the trading post once the rest arrived. He would plead the Commander in privacy to offer protection to the Hundred, to claim ownership of their souls- a coup. He would find a way to encourage the Commander to swing in right before the Council tried to take control. To eradicate the Council's power.
Sighing to himself as he shifted these possible ideas around in his mind, he rolled up his sleeve and pulled out the marker he kept in the inside pockets of his guard jacket. He was tired of symbols now, he needed condolences. He needed an opinion he felt he could trust.
Do you trust the Grounders? He wrote, hoping that his soulmate was on Earth as he suspected. His nights full of bizarre dreams gave him no other belief than that he was experiencing proximity soulmate dreams.
It didn't take long for a response as his soul mate bleed back: More than the Ark.
Bellamy smiled faintly, using these responses to help him make a decision.
Wolves in sheep's clothing though? His soulmate continued to pen.
Bellamy had obviously considered this himself from the start, thanks to his paranoid nature.
Devil you do or the devil you don't? he wrote back. He had often heard the saying before, translating to the thought if it was better to undergo what you know one party is capable of instead of putting your fate in the hands of someone new.
Devil you don't.
The conversation was taking too much space, so they moved to the other arm to write, resulting in sloppy penmanship from using their non-dominate hands (which gave Bellamy a genuine chuckle).
Being given a real chance to start over or believing an obvious lie?
Bellamy knew which option was related to each party. His soulmate was right. Sure he would have to end up answering to another government- he would never get the life of having no one to answer to and obey- but Lexa had done more than enough for him to put aside his distrust for now. Besides, Clarke was his leverage. Lexa really wouldn't do anything against them as long as Clarke was involved and being treated well.
A real chance, Bellamy finally responded. Feeling a significant amount of weight lift from his shoulders he made his decision. He would tell Lexa the truth… kind of. Clarke was in danger, and if Lexa ever wanted to see her again, she would have to destroy the Council.
She stood in the middle of the arena, and her mind screamed. She knew what this was. She'd never be free of its memory. Ever. Trapped in this dream for all eternity.
Unsheathing her sword, the metal scrapping the scabbard echoed through the open arena. No one was watching. The seats were empty. But all the novitiates stood ready, all watching her. Turning away simultaneously, knowingly, they broke into open combat against each other. Spears, short swords, shields, war hammers- it all rang in her ears and pounded in her heart. The panic set in, as it always did every time this memory assaulted her sleep.
She heard the battle cries, the frantic gurgling of blood, the surprised and fearful gasps of life escaping bodies as metal punctured and ruptured flesh, some of her doing, some from others. She was surrounded by corpses and escaping souls. She saw the pure bloodlust and aggression in the eyes of her combatants, who she had always seen as loving and caring. War brought out the beast in everyone who desired to be victors. That's what the 12 Clans needed, beasts for leaders. Instinctually, Lexa raised her sword above her head and caught the neck of a Warhammer for a split second before her blade shattered to pieces. The shard of metal cutting her and her opponent's face. The hammer thudded into the ground with strength that could have caused an earthquake, the future commander falling aside. As quickly as she could, she scurried to a corpse- Leonie, a good friend she had grown up with- and picked up the dead woman's spear. Getting to her feet, she turned to face the man who had just weeded his hammer from the dirt ground, and stared at her straight in the eyes.
He lifted his hammer above his head, thanks to the strength of his enormous shoulders, and brought it down over Lexa, who stumbled out of the way. She could feel her legs trembling; she was so close to victory. No one was left, just her and this man. She could hear him huffing, his strength failing him as he exhausted it with all the swings of his heavy weapon. The sound of an excited and anxious crowd reverberated in the arena, yet the seats were still empty.
Her opponent, the commander-hopeful, lifted his hammer one more time, growling with all his might, and swung. In slow motion it seemed, Lexa too raised her arm, lifting the spear. Placing both hands on the staff of her spear, she lunged as much force as she could, and as the steel block of the hammer crushed her ribs, sending a sharp cry in the sky, the tip of her spear punched right through the man's throat and up his neck, cracking open on the other side of his skull. She felt her body get pushed to the ground first, his body collapsing on hers. The pain in her side was unbelievable, her ribs had to be broken for sure. Shattered into crystal fragments.
She opened her mouth to let out feeble cries of pain, trying to roll the dead man off of her. She had won, but she felt like she was dying herself. Weakly, she placed a hand over her left ribcage and brought herself to one knee. It was all she could muster in that moment. She could barely breath without pinching her lungs. She looked up at the empty arena, the sounds of applause ringing in her ear.
Heda! She heard the crowd chant. The greatest triumph and station of her life had been won, by killing her own people. She was granted the honor of protecting her people by killing her people…
"Heda!"
Lexa shook up from her desk, alerted back into her waking life. She was sweating from the intense dream.
"Heda!" came the exclamation again. The person had been knocking at the door.
"Come in," Lexa said, clearing her throat.
The door opened and Anya walked through with Bellamy Blake behind her.
Lexa raised her eyebrow in genuine curiosity. "Bellamy?" Turning to Anya, she asked "What time is it?"
"Nine at night," Anya replied.
"Why are you back, Ambassador?"
Bellamy seemed uneasy, and looked at Anya before looking back at Lexa.
"Can we speak in private, please?" he asked.
Lexa took a deep breath, preparing herself for where this conversation might lead. "Of course, Anya, please leave us. I will call if I need you."
Anya nodded obediently and closed the door behind her, but was obviously cautious of the Skai boy's quick return to Polis.
"How is the horse I lent you?" Lexa asked, wondering how the beast was faring after literally traveling all day.
"Exhausted," Bellamy said honestly. "I am hoping to spend the night so it can rest."
"Of course," Lexa said courteously. "Please, sit," she said, as she realized that she was still seated at her desk herself. Bellamy took the chair opposite of her desk and the looked at each other face to face. "Why have you come back?"
"The Ark has communicated with us."
Lexa's face fell.
"It happened on our way back to the camp this morning, so one of ours, Monty Green, had to explain the situation here on Earth back to our people. I know you wanted to be the first to do so, but this was nothing Clarke and I could control since we had no idea they got the radio working. Once we found out, Clarke sent me to notify you. During my travels she was scheduled to talk to the Ark. She said she would do her best to represent you."
"Why didn't she let me know?" Lexa asked, obviously implying about their soul bond.
"Clarke knew that if you just all of a sudden knew about the radio without one of us to tell you, your people would suspect, so we had to follow your protocol, even if we did lose time."
Lexa nodded understandably.
"You can come with me tomorrow back to the camp if you want to represent yourself the next time we contact the Ark."
Lexa leaned back in her chair, thinking about this. The Ark was already building a reputation of her people without being represented by a Grounder. She only hoped that Clarke did truly represent her and her people correctly.
"I do not know how the Ark feels about you taking control of us. They will most likely try to negotiate your relinquishing control when they arrive."
"What are you getting to, Bellamy?" Lexa asked, too seasoned in politics to know this was more than just a status report.
"Clarke and I haven't been completely honest with you."
"Meaning?" Lexa urged, feeling her stomach start to twist.
"We're criminals to the Ark. All one hundred of us. When the Ark arrives, they will re-arrest us all."
"What?" Lexa inquired, "That does not make sense. Why would a government let criminals free like this?"
"The Ark probably thought we wouldn't survive. It was a win-win situation of sorts for them. If we proved Earth was survivable, then the Ark population could live on Earth. If the Earth wasn't survivable, at least they would reserve more life-sustaining resources for everyone else until they found another solution to keep our people alive. But make no mistake, when they come, they will take down everything we have established today, unless you take total control of the camp."
"Funny how you are asking me to take total control when not too long ago you were dying for as much freedom as possible," Lexa said, leaning back in her chair.
"That was before I knew they succeeded in fixing the radio. I thought we were going to have a chance to be free."
Bellamy could see the Commander slightly flex her jaw as she pondered his information. After a brief moment of silence, she asked, "What was Clarke's crime?"
"We're all mostly misdemeanors," Bellamy answered, "We're not dangerous people, it's just that the Ark has grown used to no mercy."
"Bellamy," Lexa said, almost glaringly.
Bellamy sighed, "Treason."
Lexa exhaled deeply, the heavy crime resting on her mind. "Treason?"
"In the government's eyes," Bellamy continued, trying to find a way to soften the charge. "She released government information to the public. Information they deserved to hear. She wanted us all to know the truth about how the government was planning on keeping certain things a secret. When Council found out our home was dying, they wanted to keep it a secret. Because Clarke's parents had ties to the council, naturally the whole Griffin family knew. Clarke and her father did not want to keep things a secret, and told everyone the truth. For that her father was executed, and Clarke was on death row, in solitary confinement, awaiting her eighteenth birthday. The Ark does not execute minors, they wait for them to be of legal adult age."
Bellamy watched this all unfold on Lexa's face. The Commander was troubled.
"When the Ark arrives, they will kill Clarke."
"Why wouldn't Clarke tell me this?" Lexa asked, her voice rising.
"She has too much faith," Bellamy continued, "She believes that since her mother is on the council that she will be pardoned. The Ark will redo politics and lock us all away. Please help."