Chapter 11: Ready for Change
My eyes flutter open, and they land on the clock that is just above the white dresser.
7:00
"Uhh" I groan lightly to myself. I wasn't bothered by the time; I just didn't want to be awake right now. Although last night was essentially a nightmare, I wasn't in any hurry to wake up to my bitter reality. I turned over to my side in an effort to go back to sleep. Then out of nowhere, my phone uttered a loud, piercing noise. I instinctively covered my ears and rose from my position. The noise became louder and louder. I grabbed my phone and roughly slid my finger across the screen to unlock it.
It was my alarm clock. The raucous sound I was dreading, was one of my favorite songs. "Clocks" by Coldplay. I quickly hit dismiss and the song came to an end.
Early meeting at 10 with crew to discuss the song
I read the note and then closed the window. I locked my phone and set it on my desk.
After I took a shower, I got dressed. I don't remember the last time I slept in past 7:00. It felt natural to wake up at this time. Even though I had absolutely no desire to be anywhere, I still felt obligated to dress myself. I almost forgot for a second that I was not home. The quietness is so familiar to me. Remembering I am a guest, I walk downstairs ready to greet Ally and her parents. To my surprise, they are all running around the kitchen in a very haste manner. Ally looks completely flustered as she searches for a spatula to flip her golden pancakes. Her dad is flipping through the drawers looking for a towel to clean his coffee stained dress shirt. Mrs. Dawson is roughly scrubbing the table, trying to get the coffee stain out. I spot a bright green spatula on the counter. Making my presence known, I hand the spatula to Ally.
"Good morning Ally." I smile as I place the spatula in her hand. Her eyes brighten as she takes the green stick.
"Thank you Austin, and good morning to you too." She spins around to continue flipping the pancakes. I take a seat at the table and greet her parents.
"Good morning Mr. and Mrs. Dawson." I say politely. They both greet me with a smile and continue with their various tasks.
"Oh, Austin dear could you empty the trash, I always forget to do it in the mornings. Otherwise the garbage truck won't pick it up." Mrs. Dawson mumbles off.
"Of course." I say as I walk over to the bin. I realize in this moment; it's been almost four years since I've taken out the trash. With my busy lifestyle my parents always hired people to do most of the house work. I still remembered how to do it of course, but it was a strange thing.
We all sat down together when Ally was finished with the pancakes. They were delicious. Best I've ever had.
"Ally, I am in love with these pancakes, they are perfect" I complimented her.
"Just think, in a couple of years you'll be eating like this, every morning." Her dad commented. I glanced at him for a moment, but didn't understand what he had meant. Ally's mom had hit her husband lightly on the shoulder, telling him something. They laughed as if they had an inside joke together. I looked at Ally to see if she understood, but she had the same confused expression as me. I ignored his comment and continued to eat.
"So, you guys are thing now, right?" Her dad asked. My face grew red and I dropped my fork. I turned my attention to Ally to see her response, she laughed off the comment and simply said no. She established our relationship, but I could tell her dad wasn't convinced. To be honest, he had every reason to think we were more than friends, we definitely act like we are. But unfortunately he was still incorrect. Ally and I loved each other and that's all they needed to know.
"I'm sorry Austin, is he making you uncomfortable?" Penny said sweetly.
"Not at all." I shrugged.
"It's a pleasure to have you."
"The pleasure is all mine. Thank you for allowing me to stay here." I reply.
"Of course." Lester answers.
When breakfast is over, they begin to rush again. Ally's dad gives his goodbyes to the family and heads out the door for what I assume is work.
"Oh shoot, I forgot to put gas in the car for you this morning Ally." Penny sighed in disappointment.
"I can drive her" I offer.
"Austin, you don't have to do that." Her mother tells me as she searches the house for her purse.
"I want to." I tell Ally's mother.
"Okay, thank you. I'll see you later honey! Bye Austin!" She calls out towards us as we leave.
Once we are outside, I take Ally's hand and walk her to where my car is. Last night after we arrived at her house, I had someone drive my Porsche to Ally's house, in case of an emergency. I open the passenger door for her, then get in on the other side. As I began driving, I realize I don't know how to get to her school.
"Ally, am I going the right way?" I ask her as she fiddles with a large poster in her hand.
"Yeah, Marino high is on West Lake Rd., so just keep straight until you see it." She tells me.
"What's that you're holding?"
"Oh, this? This is my chemistry project. I worked so hard on it. Trying to get it perfect. If I get an A on this project I should have an A in the class, finally."
"What? Are you telling me Ally Dawson doesn't already have straight A's?" I joke with her.
"I know, but this class is especially hard. You wouldn't believe the stuff we are required to do."
"It's weird, with my online school, we don't ever really do projects. We just submit the work online, and then we're done."
"Aww, that's no fun." She sighs sadly.
"Well, homeschooling isn't supposed to be fun. It's just supposed to be fast." I say flatly.
"I guess you're right." She concludes turning her eyes towards the window, as we pass the beautiful oak tree park. As we enter the school zone, I slow down as the signs instruct. I watch all the little kids walk across the pathways and it takes me back to when I was in 5th grade. That was one of the best school years of my life. Life was chill, school was easy, parents weren't jerks. Things were a lot better back then. As I pull into the high school parking lot, I see a group of girls about our age waiting in front of the school. After I park the car, I jump out to open the door for Ally, just as she steps out, the girls wave at her.
"Are those girls your friends?" I ask her. She says yes, so I wave back at them.
"Hi Ally! Hey Austin." The girls yell.
"How do they know my name?" I absentmindedly ask. Ally gives me that look, and I instantly remember, the reason why most people in this state probably know my name.
"Thanks for driving me Austin." Ally says giving me a hug.
"No problem." I reply lightly pecking her cheek. She smiles at me one last time giggling slightly.
"I'll see you this afternoon." She blushes. I release her and whisper one last goodbye in her ear. I see her friends' eyes widen as she leaves my grasp. I smile to myself and walk back to the other side of my car.
Somehow, I find myself at the 10 'o'clock meeting with my crew. I'm a little late, because I had to stop to get gas. I drive into the parking lot and see my mother's car. How wonderful, my mother is here.
As soon as I enter the conference room, I spot my mother sitting in the corner, talking with my agent. I can feel all eyes focus on me as I walk into the room. I take a deep breath and walk over to one of the empty seats. Jeb, one of my other managers, starts the meeting.
"Okay, now that Austin's here we can get started. So obviously, we are going to have to make up for last night, considering he didn't perform, so we were planning on having a benefit concert at the fair. This concert would be free. It would also be a great time to release his new song. Austin? Any comments?" He asks me as I stare at the floor with my hands folded in my lap. I shake my head and motion for him to continue. I was half listening.
"Okay, so also-"
He is cut off, by my mother. Of course.
"Yeah, no, I have a comment. Free benefit concert? I don't think so. We lost a plethora of money from last night, we cannot afford to have a benefit concert, I don't know about you, but I don't enjoy losing money. Austin will not be performing, unless the audience is paying." She finished leaning back in her chair, and crossing her arms. She is especially snappy today.
My mom then began fighting with Jeb and they went back and forth. I eventually stepped out in annoyance. The meeting ended soon after that. My mother came out with a raging expression. You could tell she did not get her way. She trudged past me, without saying a word. She didn't make eye contact or even acknowledgement that I was standing there. She just walked pass me like a wall. I was completely astonished. I had prepared for her to badger me with questions and for her to yell at me, but nothing. She didn't say anything to me. Honestly, I didn't know if I liked it, or not. I caught up with my mom as she walked into the parking lot.
"Mom." I called her as I followed behind her. She didn't turn around. What, was she ignoring me now?
"Mom, stop." I said a little louder, but she still kept walking. She had to have heard me. She was definitely ignoring me. Growing impatient, I cut in front of her, stopping her in the process.
"Mom, why are you ignoring me?" I say confronting her as we stand face to face. She lifts her head to look me in the eyes, and smiles menacingly.
"Oh, hello Austin, what's up?" She said as if this was our first encounter. I was beyond confused.
"What do you mean, what's up? I've called you like three times." I state annoyed.
"Oh, really? Sorry kid, I thought you were calling someone else." She stated innocently as she readjusted her sunglasses nonchalantly. I simply ignored her comment and continued on to what I was going to talk to her about. I brushed my hand through my hair as I tried to find the right words to say. Despite the weird way she was acting, I thought I should tell her my new living situation. I wasn't going to ask permission, I was just letting her know, so her and dad wouldn't get worried or anything.
"So, Ally and her folks are putting me up for a while. I just wanted to let you know." I finished awkwardly.
"That's great! I'm glad you found a place to stay." She beamed. "Ya' know, I'm glad you showed up today. I have all your things in the back seat and in the trunk. I was going to have them deliver it, but I didn't know where to send it! So, just bring your car over, and we'll transfer the stuff." She replied happily.
Why was she acting like this? Were they planning on kicking me out or something? I didn't do anything wrong! She was treating me like a stranger. I played along though. I drove my car over to her like she said, and transferred all my stuff into my own car. I remained silent all the while, unsure of what exactly was happening.
"Okay!" She clasped her hands together joyfully. "Glad we got that over with! Okay, so I'll see you this Thursday at the Helen Performance, rest your voice!" She beamed happily. My face remained flat as I frowned at her. She quickly turned around but I was not satisfied.
"Mom, wait." I tried, but she would not grant me another second. She actually began to walk faster to her car.
"Bye!" She yelled, in the phoniest voice ever as she hopped in her car and drove off.
I stood there in utter shock.
What just happened? Did I just get kicked out of my house? I have one mental breakdown, and as a result, I am disowned by my parents?
I was doing so well. I thought if I pretended to be okay with how they treated me long enough, it might actually be true, someday. But, I didn't pretend hard enough. All my hard work went down the drain that night of the concert. All my compressed feelings and emotions erupted and took over me. I was adjusting, I was adapting. But, I had a relapse. Because of that, I lost my parents. I knew my dad was hopeless, but as much as I hate to admit it, especially now, I always thought my mother would come through for me one day. I always dreamed her motherly instincts would kick in and she would protect me from my dad. But, those instincts never kicked in. And now they never will.
As I drive back to Ally's school to pick her up, I suddenly get a blast of inspiration. Music inspiration. I am in a panic mode because I cannot write all the stuff down. I have to keep it buried in my memory. When we arrive at the house, Ally helps me bring in all of my clothes, and other things. When we finish, I suggest we write a song, because I feel the need to release all my ideas.
"I have a better idea. Let's go downtown. There's this music store downtown, where they have the most gorgeous pianos. We can write our song there. Plus, no one ever goes into that store at night, so it will be more private."
I agree and we set off for the store.
We sat together at the gorgeous, white piano lightly playing the keys, with no real direction. Her fingers flowed across the black keys creating wonderful minor chords. We then began playing the song we wrote a couple of weeks ago. It's called "Super Hero." It's one of my favorite songs we have ever written together. It's about a girl who has struggled all her life, with… well life struggles. She wearied herself out trying to handle it all on her own. When she finally accepted she needed help, she was free, and happy again. All because she let her superhero, help carry the weight.
"So, you went to pick up your stuff from your house today?" She asked as we finished playing the song.
"No, my mom actually already had my stuff already packed and ready to go in her car. When we met at the meeting, she told me to transfer all the stuff to my car, then she left." I explained to her starting a new melody.
"Wow, she must have been really mad?" Ally inferred listening to my soft song. I quickly laughed at her assumption.
"Nope. The complete opposite. She was thrilled I found a place to stay and sent me off as If it were just another day of going to school."
Ally sat there never reverting her eyes from me. She focused in, like a child, viewing ice cream for the first time. Completely engrossed in my story. I knew the only reason she was giving me so much attention was because of that night. When we usually talk, she's listening, but not studying my words. This was a little unsettling.
"She didn't answer when I called her mom." I continued. "I had to step directly in front of her, just to get her to stop and talk to me. She's worse than my dad." I finished bitterly, as my melody grew louder and faster and more intense. I began playing a classical song I learned when I was little. It was a very complicated piece, but I had mastered it by the time I was fourteen. I had always thought it was beautiful, so I made a vow to myself, never to forget how to play it. And so far, I have remembered.
"I'm sorry Austin." Ally sympathizes placing her hand on mine as I finish the song. I appreciate her sympathy, but I, for the first time in a while, I don't need it.
"I'm not." I say turning towards her, shrugging my shoulders. It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself for having lousy parents. There was nothing I could do about it, so there was no point in wallowing in the pity. It was time to move on.
"Like you told your parents, my mom and dad were abusive, I should be happy to be out of their house. I don't have to feel emotionally oppressed anymore. I can be happy. And be satisfied with myself. This is a good thing, and I'm glad it happened." I told her honestly. I am ready for a change in my life. I am ready to take on new challenges and let go of the old ones.