Chapter 19: Change of Heart.

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Warm gestures, the intimate warmth, and the comfort longed

Accepted by heart, only yours, I feel nothin's wrong.

I see the colors fading

And you try better shades shading

I know I can trust you with eyes closed.

I'm safe with you even when the toughest wind blows.

I don't understand how he got to know that I was here, that I was all in need of someone, or anyone who will get me outta there. Sorry Kai, not because he punched you, you deserved it. Sorry because I was the one starting, letting you get that longing to do what you did, even after that, still you shouldn't have done this and I say, 'I'm sorry to myself', for making my soul freaking. Let me get that guidance to choose the better ways in life.

What Tyson is thinking of me...Will he forgive me…wait...Why do I feel each time when I'm with kai that I'm doing something wrong to Tyson? That's what always freaks me when I'm around him.

But just what...Oh, it's just not true. Just then she felt a stare at her as she broke from the chain of her thoughts. She felt suddenly scared, but she just looked down embarrassed and he took back his stare and just looked ahead for the rest of the way to dojo with sure protective arms.

After a few minutes, when they reached, he left her and walked to his room after a brief motioning her to head to the room. She tried to keep a reasonable distance while they walked upstairs. While she noticed Ray sitting around the hall in a corner his eyes still on that letter, she wondered if he was reading it over and over. She was a bit shocked when he shot a condemning stare at her.

When she entered the room after it was slid by him, she found herself in real stuck state, and thought of what he was gonna say or just react anyway. She was overwrought in anxiety and nervous state; she simply stood without any plan of dragging a couch to take.

He sat on the beret and with one hand playing in his navy hair that smoothly landed on the front shoulder and the other simply on the lap. For a few seconds, he just looked around, intently neglecting everything and then returning the perfect gaze which he oughta give her at some point.

The gaze was sure of studying and deliberate, and as of accusing one. It had that feeling. His marron pools were secured in those ruby eyes and she felt it perfectly. She just looked down. She felt little beats of her heart beating, a sort of upheaval of stomach and plummet back.

The cacophony of sound grew still until silence reigned like death over a thousand littered corpses.

It seemed to last forever…and as if the drizzling sound of rain felt to fall more heavily, just to create some noise, some voice to kill the stillness.

He slowly stood up and walked to her and she felt adrenaline gush, but he walked with that persistent look and put a hand over her loose shoulder.

"Are you alright?" he asked calmly.

"Uhmn, yeah, I think so." She answered unease and stiffened her shoulders, as if a bit edgy. She felt a warm, yet a guilty feeling slowly starting to grow inside while he subsided his tough looks and removed his hand.

He smiled out in condemnation of her gesture and made a swift movement of head in disregard of whatsoever she was feeling-any kinda of insecurity or just the guilt of what she just did.

"Are you sure you are fine..? If you want a short siesta, you can sleep on my bed, and I'll lay on the couch." he said trying to be typical.

"No thanks." she said not looking at him, pretending to hold her head in some sort of ache.

"I think I'll go to my room, I'll feel better…um, I got some work besides." she said skittish, finally looking at his hurt eyes that just gave a forced smile.

"Fine." It was all what he managed to say. He shrugged his head, much to her notice, in little disgust.

I could feel him hurt, but it was all I need to do. I do not feel insecure around you Tys, but please try to understand, you are being more than enough protective of me. I'm not blaming you for anything yet, but please lemme go. I need to be alone. Please. I need to stay away from you all for some time. I need my privacy.

Just wait for the new light to shine

Soon realizations, fast feelings, you'll be mine

I M being more infatuated

Didn't I realize that lot of chances that I already wasted.

When you could have smiled and return my gesture.

So that I could hug you back, smile in leisure

"Okay, then," he turned and he sure did feel her gaze lift as soon he turned and even a hand that tried to grab his jacket, but he swiftly and rudely walked away that he couldn't acquire the courage to hold it; the finger just passed and then left.

She gave a sad smile and turned to leave and ambled- wondering if she should say goodbye.

"Goodbye." she said slowly. She waited for a few seconds, but when he dint replied she strode out in slight burning feeling and climbed downstairs.

.

.

What the hell did I do wrong to her? Why she was feeling so vulnerable and insecure around me. Was that all fake when she smiled, told me that I'm her best friend, when she ran to punch me? What was that all? She was damn freaking around Kai. I did approach at the perfect time and saved her.

Let this feeling burn inside cause I can't seize, I can't cease. Let this doubts that ruffle me, ache my head because I can't do a hell right thing about it.

He pulled out his guitar from his wardrobe, closed his door and played the strings in a soft music in the beginning.

"When you parted was the real parting

I felt incomplete, hurt, what more I couldn't give in words

Why this sudden? Cease everything around was so charming

I'm trying to be strong, a bit tough, but still like a herb,

Broken by your departure, sighing in sigh,

So much to say, to understand, so much to say

So much to say, to understand, so much to say"

The tone was sweet, serenading, in hurt, in hurt, in hurt, and yet the pitches were in the chorus as he played the strings with unminding fingers and gave a perfect flare to the melody.

"Why do you take so much in your head?

Act as if nothing's amiss, so normal

Yeah, so normal, so normal, nothing said

When you had so much to confide that you only confine, really awful

So much to say, to understand, so much to say

So much to say, to understand, so much to say"

And then he realized that how much he cared for her, and thought if she ever noticed about it, or just simply ignored. He lowered his tone as he winced.

"I know this life lasting for short moments

Short lived sweet moments, being memories

Not a lifetime enough for this deep love

Wanted to give you all, and then why are you so tough?

I just hope, will hope till the end.

And I know someday, you'll realize that we are more than friends

So much to say, to understand, so much to say

So much to say, to understand, so much to say..

So much to say, to understand, so much to say

So much to say, to understand, so much to say"

He sighed trying to calm down his gushing emotions and glanced at the guitar.

.

.

.

I could hear the thoughts of his heart, never could my ears, but my heart. I don't understand this or more precisely and honestly, I don't understand 'us'…What kind of relations are actually there between us…a really unbreakable bond, profound friendship, care of a friend, more than that of friend? Or just over protection that are your prayers…But for each of this, I ask why? I don't feel any pain, each pain is sweeter…

She reached the large building and pushed the button reaching her place and unlocking her room with trembling hands… She sighed as she lay on her bed after properly locking her room. The curtains violently waggled, and she could feel all her jacket in dripped rain drops of the drizzle. She wondered why the sky had much clouds so usual, was it that God was upset with her for whatever she was doing? She then let another groan in displeasure. Her mind ran through assorted insights and perceptions, Am I doing anything that's not right?

They say that for everyone in this world, God has
made someone or the other, for each one
You meeting me is a sign believe me
I am made for someone like you
Some contact is there with you
Some relation is there with you
How should I know, what do I know
Some contact is there with you
You are my partner so why should I worry
This is the reason to live and will die for this

It obliged me while going
A passing moment fulfilled my wishes
I got a view of yours, got sparkling starts
Destiny's boats got a shore..

She tried sleeping, closing her eyes, and letting her mind rest in peace, but first she grabbed something, whitish from her pocket and put it in her mouth. Then she got a feeling of tranquilizing overtake her and she drifted into a long sleep.

A/N: Thanks so much to Blue Lightning of the night, solitude13, AlwaysNia and Saira's World for reviewing previously. That means a lot. Please tell me how you felt about this chapter and give constructive criticism. Thanks! :D