Disclaimer: I do not own American Mcgee's Alice (EA) or Doctor Who (BBC)

Chapter 6: A Needed Holiday

Dear Dr. Wilson.

How long has it been since my last letter? Life has been so busy for me, and you've probably settled into your new role as Superintendent of Rutledge Asylum. I've heard better things about your profession in recent years through news article and rumour alike, both a far cry from the abuse I suffered in my youth.

As always, a return to the asylum remains a last resort for me, and I hope you agree with that sentiment. However, several aspects of my condition have made normal life exceedingly difficult for myself. Most recently, the hero complex you described alienated me from my employment at a bookstore, when I broke the establishment's rules in my quest to help those suffering misfortune. My hallucinations are also becoming a hazard to my work; while I was employed as a governess in a gentleman's household, my charges decided to run away from home, putting their lives and limbs in grave danger, for which I blamed myself. After all, if I had not been in Wonderland when the decision happened, I might have been able to prevent their flight.

I feel that, given our current understanding of each other, we both agree that my heroism and my hallucinations are inseparable parts of my character, and I have been alternatively proud of and resentful of both. I do not wish to deny myself in my quest to live a comfortable life, if I am even capable of doing such a thing. But clearly, I need some form of assistance in that regard. If you have any recommendations, please do suggest them in your response to this letter.

With regards,

Your reluctantly grateful acquaintance,

Alice Liddell.

After finishing the letter, Alice leaned back in her chair to relax, and take some more deep breaths. She briefly laughed at herself for considering voluntarily returning to the asylum even for an instant. Up until recently she believed she stood a chance at a normal life, and had come to desire it. To give up would mean to give in to her self-loathing, and send her right back to where she was as a child: with the Red Queen in charge, and Alice trapped in a Wonderland ruled by violence and madness.

Thoughts about Wonderland, as thoughts often do, tangentially led to thoughts of when her adventures in Wonderland brought about positive changes in her life. She remembered how she was once a queen, how her memories were recovered, how she met the Doctor and...

Dodgson.

"Of course," Alice thought out loud, "he helped me then, surely he can help me now."

She grabbed another sheet of paper and wrote down:

Having trouble. Stop. Unemployed. Stop. I think you can help. Stop. Prepare my old room, I'll be arriving soon.

She didn't bother with the address, as she could take care of that at the Telegram office. That done, she once again grabbed her letter to Dr. Wilson and added a postscript:

P.S. My response to any letter I receive from you may be delayed, as I plan to visit Dodgson in a preliminary attempt to sort out my life's troubles. He was of great practical assistance to me in the past, thanks to your reconnecting us all those years ago, so he is the person I shall turn to first. Still, if you have advice to offer, I will appreciate it regardless.

That done, she looked over the letter one last time, and her hands moved towards an envelope, but then stopped. She noticed the sentence she wrote about the children, and became concerned. Not wanting to add any unnecessary worry, she added another postscript:

P.P.S. Don't worry about the children, they were discovered safe and sound with the help of a friend of their family, Richard Hargreaves. He's a bumbling, but charming fellow whom I'd met by coincidence some weeks before. It is a relief to know some people are legitimately generous and kind in this day and age.

With that, she was finally satisfied, and she folded up the paper into the envelope, stamped it, and set it aside so she could take it to the post office the next day.

For now, however, the day was drawing to a close, and Alice was exhausted.

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Alice had to fight to get out of bed the next morning, but somehow she managed.

After a breakfast of potatoes and bread (with a helping from the jars of preserves), she set out for the Telegram office, dropping her letter for Dr. Wilson in an anonymous post box on the way.

There was a significant line at the office, and as she stood in the line she had nothing to do but let her mind wander, and listen to odd conversations that she might overhear.

"...that odd exhibition in Highgate? Ridiculous..."

"Toby Russell's been caught at last. I swear..."

"...crime is definitely on the rise. Why, just last week..."

"...This whole world has gone to hell and back..."

"...sometimes makes you wonder if the Lord truly loves us..."

"...Parliament repealed the Contagious Diseases Acts, and completely ignored..."

"...Where will they go now? Fallen women can never rise again, in this life or the next..."

Upon hearing that phrase, Alice's features seized up in disgust. She turned to the side, and saw a black-suited gentleman sitting in a chair on the side, laughing with a friend as if his cruel statement was some form of joke.

"What do you know?" exclaimed Alice all of a sudden, turning several heads in her direction. For a rare instant, she didn't care that she was making a scene; some things needed to be said. So she stepped towards the gentleman and continued: "What sort of world do we live in that a mistake, sometimes made without choice, should condemn someone to misery for all eternity?"

"The real world, Missy." responded the gentleman in an irritated tone. "Something you obviously don't know about, so hold your tongue."

"Hold my tongue? And just accept the world is horrible, when there are ways to make it better if only someone would care enough to try?"

"That's just the thing – no one cares." said the gentleman's friend. "It demands too much sacrifice. The only way to get ahead in this world is to become a part of its corruption."

"That's not true! There are good people in this world, fighting to make a difference!"

"And the sooner they give up that fight, the better off they'll be. Now, I refuse to debate this any further, especially with an hysterical woman." And with that, the gentleman waved her off dismissingly.

Alice could barely contain her rage, but she realized he had a point, having finally noticed the unwanted attention she had drawn. She growled, and returned to the line...

But then, she heard another voice: "Excuse me, but I believe you were rather rude to that lady. I think you should apologize."

Alice turned towards the voice's source, but she couldn't see any. However, something about that voice made it quite familiar...

The rude gentleman responded: "It's no business of yours. And besides, she started it, she should apologize to me."

"Why? Just because you're a man?" the voice replied. "You look more like a gentleman, and I expected much more manners from someone of your station."

At last the source of the voice stepped forward, much to Alice's surprise:

"Richard?"

Richard Hargreaves turned to Alice, tipped his hat, and said: "How do you do, Alice?"

"...Very well, thank you."

"Is this man bothering you?" he asked.

"A little. He does have a point that I spoke out of turn, but it was in response to something offensive and cruel that he said to his friend. It was like he insulted me personally, even though he didn't. Despite my best efforts, I could not stay silent."

"You see?" said Richard, turning back to the rude gentleman. "Isn't that so much easier?"

The crowd started murmuring, saying things like "You know, he has a point...," "Who's more at fault, him or the lady?", and "He really should apologize."

Instead of taking the crowd's advice, the gentleman said: "Forget about it," and left along with his friend.

"And there goes someone who doesn't care for his reputation at all. I doubt he will be missed."

Everyone nodded in approval at Richard's comment, before returning to their business.

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"We've ran into each other three times in as many weeks. One would start to think you're obsessed." said Alice as she exited the telegram office with Richard beside her.

"You wouldn't believe it was pure coincidence?" Richard said with a slight laugh as they walked down the street together.

" Who would, Richard? London's a big city. And here we are, two complete strangers who were never properly introduced to each other, and yet for some reason we each know a considerable amount about each other. You're an inventor, a great friend of children but not with your family..."

"While you have these fantastical dreams that inspired one of my favorite books, and are quite keen with children yourself. How are they getting on, by the way?"

"...I wouldn't know, I quit yesterday." said Alice hesitantly.

Richard stopped walking in shock, forcing him to run to catch up with Alice when he finally thought of a response: "Why? You were doing so well!"

"From what you saw." said Alice bitterly. "When they ran away, I was in no position to do anything about it, when I should have been. I was in dreamland, taking tea with my imaginary friends. I couldn't be bothered."

"So you were asleep?" said Richard, almost hoping against hope.

"...no. It was a waking dream."

Richard took in a deep breath before he continued. "...You remember how I said my mother was fond of gossip? Last night, my mother made mention of rumours they heard some time ago, concerning an Alice Liddell. Rumours of madness, poverty, scandal, and a leech named Bumby."

Alice looked at him with concern, and nodded. "No sense denying it now." she said mournfully.

"They told me, that if I were to be seen with you again, they would be very disappointed." Richard said with a despondent sigh...

….only to perk back up, and say: "Of course, the fact that we're having this conversation should say a lot of how I regard their opinions."

Alice smiled, and was instantly curious as to why she smiled. "I don't know why I'm so relieved to hear that, Richard."

"Neither do I. I most certainly don't know you well enough to tell what you're thinking. But, with your permission, I would like to make an educated guess?"

With a cautious hesitation, Alice agreed to his request. Thus permitted, Richard said: "You want me as a friend. I would go so far as to say that, given what I've heard about you, you most certainly need friends. The last thing you need is someone denying you their friendship on account of some past embarrassment that clearly wasn't your fault."

The phrasing of his statement, while unintentional on his part, certainly sounded intentional to Alice. She knew she had to ask to make sure: "Do you really mean that?"

"Of course!" said Richard, with a slightly incredulous tone; "Why wouldn't I?"

Alice's expression hardened. "You almost sound like someone who's trying to sell me something. I've had it happen before – Dr. Bumby was almost as charming as you are, but not sincere in the slightest."

Richard felt crushed. "And you worry I might be another...like him?"

Alice nodded and said "Yes," further crushing his spirit.

"But," Alice added, "as you say, I do need friends. And I really shouldn't let my past hurt get in the way of my future happiness. So, I'm willing to take the chance that you really are as kind and clever and gentlemanly as you present yourself."

Instantly, the weight on Richard's heart was lifted. "Thank God. For a second I thought you hated me for no reason or something. I can't say how relieved I am."

"May I make an educated guess?"

Both Richard and Alice shared a laugh.

"Hahah... I needed that." Alice said after she caught her breath. "But in all seriousness, I think you're after validation for the choices you've made in life. Making inventions that few people want or need, distancing yourself from your family, befriending a madwoman...those aren't exactly the decisions respectable gentlemen make."

"That's...very insightful, actually. I've never thought of it like that."

The rest of their journey continued in peace until they reached the dingy, dirty building where Alice lived.

Richard gaped at the building in suprise. "You live here?"

When Alice nodded in the affirmative, Richard asked another question: "On your own?"

To his surprise, Alice nodded to that as well.

"Don't you...have anyone else? I mean...unemployed woman living by herself, in London?"

Alice smirked. "Are you starting to regret your decision yet?"

"No, not at all!" said Richard sheepishly. "If anything, I'm more concerned for your well-being than my reputation."

"Richard, it takes a lot to earn even the slightest bit of trust from me, as you well know. The less people I live with, the less that can take advantage of me. As for money, I have some savings left over from the books' publication to carry me in between situations. May not seem like much, and definitely not anything respectable, but it's been enough to keep me alive so far."

Richard nodded hesitantly, then said "Well, if you need anything, let me know next time we 'coincidentally' meet."

"Thank you, but it won't be for another week or so. I'm off to Oxford to visit Dodgson, see if he can help me first."

At this Alice turned to enter her flat, and Richard turned to leave...but then he stopped, and abruptly asked "Wait, did you say you were going to Oxford?"

"Yes. Very soon, in fact."

"All by yourself?"

Again, Alice said yes. At this, Richard shook his head. "No, that won't do. That won't do at all. You shouldn't travel alone."

Eager to get back inside, Alice said: "I appreciate the concern, but I'll be alright. I know how to avoid the unsavory types."

"Are you sure? Remember our second meeting? When I found you screaming at imaginary fire?"

Alice's eyebrows raised. "You're right. Wonderland has been unpredictable as of late. Well, more than usual..."

"Exactly. If you have another episode like that, in a public space, who knows what could happen? But what if you had a sympathetic eye or two nearby, to protect you?"

"And you want to be that eye?"

"If it's not too much trouble."

Alice walked back towards Richard. "Very well, let's look over any potential problems. First, what will your parents say if they find out?"

"Honestly, that's just a motivation to ensure they don't. I'll just say I'm going on holiday."

"Second, I'm not sure we're at the point where I trust you enough to be alone with me, whether or not I'm in Wonderland..."

"True," said Richard reluctantly, and he put his hand to his chin...but only for a moment, after which he snapped his fingers and said: "I could bring my Grandmother along! She's been looking for an excuse to get out of the house anyway. As a plus, she doesn't see eye-to-eye with my parents these days, there's no risk she'd expose us!"

Alice smiled in response. "Sounds perfect. And third, how soon could you be ready?"

"Early next morning if you'll have me."

Alice extended her hand. "Well, I guess it's an arrangement then."

They shook hands, and parted with smiles on both their faces this time.

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Getting on the train to Oxford without alerting Richard's parents was surprisingly easier than Alice had feared, with Winifred Hargreaves knowing exactly what to say to get preferential treatment from the station staff. The real problem was the memories Alice had associated with various modes of transportation, and she had to fight the urge to flee after their train turned out to have a whistle eerily similar to the Infernal Train that wreaked havoc on her memories all those years ago.

But after that, they got on board without any further difficulty, and they set off on the two hour ride to Oxford.

The carriage had separate compartments, and Alice's party got one all to themselves. Alice sat one one side, while Richard and Winifred sat on the other.

"Thank you for assisting us," Alice softly said to Winifred, struggling to maintain eye contact.

"Think nothing of it, my dear. A friend to Richard is a friend to me." said Winifred with a sweet smile.

The trip continued in awkward silence for a little while. Alice kept her gaze to herself for the most part, occasionally stealing glances at Richard and his grandmother. She couldn't decide whether or not she preferred the silence.

Eventually, it was Richard who broke the silence: "You know what I would have preferred? A boat trip up the Thames."

"That would have taken all day. You wouldn't have been able to sit still that long." Winifred chuckled.

"I'm not talking about sitting, I'm talking about observing." countered Richard, "Trains don't offer their passengers a good look at their engines. But on a steamship, I could see the boilers and paddles up close."

"Not too close I hope." said Winifred with a slight nudge. "Steam is quite hot, you know."

"Grandmother, I am quite familiar with steam. It's been in my thoughts for quite some time."

"How so?" she asked.

"How I could make it better." said Richard confidently. "In fact, I'd like to share an idea I just had right now."

"Oh really?"

"Picture this, Alice, Grandmother:" Richard said as he started gesturing, drawing up blueprints in his mind's eye: "A steam engine is only good as long as it has fuel. I've seen steam engines with flywheels, to keep the engine speed constant when the engine itself is not, or to help it start again. But I could go a step further. I know a physicist who's using electricity and magnetism to create mechanical energy. Suppose I attached a generator and this magnet contraption to the steam engine, so that the steam engine charges the magnet as well as drive the engine...then the stored electricity can power the magnet, and thus the engine, even when the steam engine isn't working! Redundant backup systems means little chance of failure when it matters most!"

The room was silent for a few seconds, as Richard's audience tried in vain to comprehend what he had just described.

Richard, at length, seemed to realize this: "Did I...oh dear, I've completely left you behind, haven't I?"

"...You do have a tendency to over-complicate things." said Winifred with a defusing laugh.

"But you do understand what I'm trying to do, right?"

"Richard, I know nothing about what makes machines work, so I'm not the person to ask for how to make them work better, I'm sad to say."

Richard apologized, and then turned to the other side of the cabin: "What about you, Alice? You've been quiet the-"

To his surprise, Alice raised a finger as if to ask for silence, never once looking up from her feet. Richard raised his eyebrow in confusion.

"Did you hear that?" Alice asked.

"No...What was it?" Richard asked in turn.

Alice didn't answer. Instead, she listened some more, and at length said: "Gesundheit."

"What is it? Did someone sneeze?" Richard asked again.

"What on earth are you talking about?" asked Winifred.

When Alice didn't respond, Richard cautiously moved over to her side of the compartment, and snapped his fingers in front of her face. No response.

"Richard, I don't think that was-" Winifred began to say, but Richard interrupted: "It's Alice. She's having another episode. This is why we're escorting her."

"Thank you, Sir Knight." said Alice in response, as she leaned into Richard without her face changing alignment or expression.

As her weight pressed into his side, Richard became uneasy. This was a compromising position, but he dared not move lest Alice fall over; so, he simply settled into his new position, and nervously said "A...always a pleasure, Alice."

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"Always a pleasure, Alice." said the White Knight confidently. "There's nothing I love more than helping keep the peace."

"Last week you said that about inventing." said Alice.

"True... Speaking of which, there's a new invention behind the saddle."

Alice looked behind her, and found an umbrella flopping against the horse's haunch...with a teapot at the end of the handle. "See? After you're done walking in the rain, you can put the kettle on with the rainwater!"

"Interesting. But where will you get the tea? And the heat?"

The White Knight blushed in embarrassment, and paused as he tried to find an answer to a question he had obviously not considered...and in the end decided to change the subject. "Here we are!"

Indeed, the horse carrying Alice and the White Knight had arrived at the Looking Glass Line station for the Vale of Tears, currently a vast swamp. The station and the rail tracks were mounted on colorful sticks so as to be above the water that flowed from the crying effigies of Alice, but attendants were nonetheless mopping up after the occasional wave.

The horse stopped, and the White Knight was thrown into the water on the other side of the station. It was some time before he was able to return and help Alice off of the horse.

"Well," said Alice, "At least that's taken care of. Now to business."

She steeled herself, and walked to a farther platform, where the familiar Looking Glass Train waited to take its passengers, and where the distinctive shape of the Duchess was engaged in a heated argument with the Gryphons who crewed the train.

"Again, I say, Madam, you must leave your pepper-grinder in your luggage." protested the Younger Gryphon who served as the conductor. The sooty Elder Gryphon, who served as driver, stood at his side and nodded.

In response to the Gryphon's request, the Duchess clutched her ornate grinder closer to her chest, and said: "No! Not an option! You cannot deny seasoning to a seasoned...ACHOO!"

"But that would force every other passenger to sneeze the whole trip!" pleaded the Elder Gryphon. "I beg you, consider the feelings of others!"

"Nonsense!" scoffed the Duchess. "I mind my own business, and that's plenty for me. If everybody minded their own business, the world would be a better place!"

Alice approached the station-master, the Mock-Turtle, who had up to this point been impotently cowering behind a noticeboard. "How long has this been going on?"

"All day, Alice." sobbed the Mock-Turtle, "With no end in sight. There's been so many trains full of panicked persons since the Bandersnatch attacked; we can't afford a delay here, but...but...ACHOO!"

"Bless you. And leave it to me." Alice sighed.

She approached the Duchess, and attempted to get her attention: "Excuse me, your grace?"

"Alice? Oh, thank goodness! Finally you can help her/them see reason!" said both the Duchess and the Gryphons at the same time.

"They won't let you take your pepper-grinder onto the train, I presume?" she asked, to which they all nodded; as Alice expected them to, having heard the end of their conversation. "And get pepper all over the other passengers? I thought pepper was supposed to be used on food..."

At this, the Duchess's eyes widened and her oversized nostrils flared. "Of course! Why didn't I think of it myself? Gryphon, I would like my seating arrangements changed to the dining car at once."

"Ah...At once, Ma'am!" stammered the Younger Gryphon.

As the Duchess and Gryphon walked off to get her ticket changed, the Mock-Turtle clapped his flippers together and shouted: "Thank you, Alice! You've put us back on schedule!"

"I couldn't have done better myself!" said the White Knight. He made a motion to pat her on the back...

...but Alice stopped him. "It was an easy solution. You could have done it without me."

"What are you saying, Alice, of course we couldn't have! You're the only one the Duchess would-"

"Sir Knight," interrupted Alice, "I thank you for your attempt to make me feel useful and wanted, but I barely did anything to solve this crisis. I feel so out of place here, in my own mind...and I'm wondering if it really needs me anymore..."

The White Knight put a reassuring hand on Alice's shoulder, and opened his mouth to say something, before he was rudely interrupted...

...by the Duchess. "By the by, Alice, I wonder if you've heard anything from my son as of late?"

"I...can't say I have," said Alice with a raised eyebrow.

"Are you sure? Here, come look at this picture he sent me some time ago!"

After some brief hesitation, Alice obliged the Duchess' request, and walked over to look at the small portrait in the Duchess' hand. Her eyes started at the left side of the picture, and she saw a formally-dressed pig...

….but before she could form any opinions about the pig, her eyes fell upon the right side of the picture, and she became gripped in a crushing fear. For right next to the pig was an image of the very pigeon that had been tormenting her for so long.

"What is that?" she said, pointing to the bird with a shaking hand.

"Oh, that? That's my son's new friend, a most upstanding pigeon! The bane of serpents wherever they might be in Wonderland! And she's a charming houseguest to-"

The rest of the Duchess' words went unheard, as Alice saw the image begin to move.

"No! I'm not a serpent! Get away!" she pleaded with the two-dimensional pigeon as she backed away...

...and obliviously fell onto the tracks on the other side of the station! She hit her head on the metal track, and it took her a minute to regain her senses.

Senses which immediately picked up the whistle of an oncoming train, barreling towards her. With some concentration, she tried to pull herself off the tracks, but to no avail; the material of her right sleeve was trapped underneath a wooden sleeper!

"Help! Help!" she cried out. "I'm stuck!"

A host of animals rushed to the edge of the platform, desperately attempting to wave down the train, while the Duchess and the White Knight leaned down and grabbed her arm. Alice closed her eyes from the strain.

"Alice, Get up!"

"Alice!"

"Alice!"

"Alice!"

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"Alice! Alice! Wake up, Alice! You're dreaming again!" pleaded Richard, cradling Alice on the floor of the train. Winifred knelt beside him, holding Alice's wrist and gently tapping it.

Alice writhed and moaned in their grasp, reacting to pain from no visible source, completely deaf to anything they said. She jerked and twisted, but they refused to let go.

"Alice, please wake up! You're safe here!" pleaded Richard again.

"Oh dear, I hope this doesn't...wait, her eyes are open! That's a good sign!"

When Alice opened her eyes at last, her face relaxed from pain and fright to exhaustion and confusion. The world of Wonderland blurred out of view, replaced with the concerned faces of Richard and his grandmother.

"Richard..." she breathed out at last.

Richard smiled in relief. "Alice. You're back."

"Does this happen-" Winifred began to ask, but her train of thought was interrupted by Alice's next, sudden action:

She embraced Richard.

She wrapped her arms around him, pulled him close until their heads were right beside her, and clung to him with all her strength. She knew it wasn't proper to be so physical with someone who wasn't immediate family. But at that point she didn't care about what was or wasn't proper. She only cared for what was real, and that was Richard.

Richard froze again, completely unsure as to how to respond, especially in front of his grandmother.

At length, Alice released Richard, and said: "I am so sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"It's alright, Alice." said Richard as they got back on their seat, "You warned me to expect strange behavior. I should have expected it."

"Thank you. And I'm sorry you had to see it, Mrs. Hargreaves."

Winifred, however, had an expression that was far from disappointed; in fact, she was delighted! "I am so happy for you two." she said.

Alice and Richard shot her a confused look, allowing her to continue: "You certainly found an interesting woman, Richard. Quite a strange woman, but that's alright. Opposites attract, as they say."

Richard and Alice were flabbergasted. "Grandmother," Richard stammered, "...I don't...we're not like that at all!"

"That's such a shame. You two are perfect for each other! Why, I can see it right now: Long walks down the riverside, stolen kisses, a quiet wedding in a modest church ..."

Alice blushed, and hid her face. "Maybe Wonderland isn't so bad after all. Maybe I left too soon."

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Knock Knock!

The brisk knock on the Renfrew household's door was seemingly ignored for a long time. Before Vastra had a chance to worry, however, the door was answered by none other than Mr. Renfrew himself, with clothing in a less than respectable condition. His eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep, and he favored his right arm.

Madame Vastra curtseyed. "Good afternoon. Is Mr. Renfrew home?"

"I am Mr. Renfrew." he said frantically. "What do you want?"

"I was hoping we could have a few words."

"Only a few. I need to get back to my duties. My children need to be watched."

Vastra took note of his odd comment, but forced herself to remain on topic: "Is your governess, Alice, within?"

George Renfrew's face hardened. "No. She left. Said she couldn't watch the children anymore. And the maid couldn't either, so I dismissed her as well. Now I've got to take care of them myself. Teach them to never run away again. A few nights locked in the nursery ought to scare that out of them for good."

Vastra's face narrowed. "Locked up...? Mr. Renfrew, that is positively barbaric. I would never subject my children to such-"

"I don't need parenting advice from a Silurian." interrupted Mr. Renfrew, suddenly confrontational.

Vastra was caught off guard for a brief moment. "How did he know..." she mumbled to herself, before responding. "Very well, what can you tell me about Alice then?"

"I thought Miss Liddell was good with the kids at first. They loved her and she loved them. But she let them run away. She failed me, and she knew it. I'm not sorry to see her go."

"Thank you." said Vastra with a curtsy. "Now, may I please see your right arm?"

"You're wasting my time." said Mr. Renfrew before he rudely slammed the door in Vastra's face.

Vastra walked away, mumbling to herself: "It's subtle, but its clearly getting worse, and adding more parts of itself to its victims. Where did it draw its strength from?"

No sooner had she left the outer gates of Mr. Renfrew's property than she was greeted by Jenny. "How was it?" she asked.

"Both good and bad, my dear Jenny." Vastra replied. After Jenny gave her a confused look, she elaborated: "It knows we're on to it. Somehow, a man I never met before knew one of the nicknames for my species. But on the other hand, I know a little bit more about its carrier.

"Really? Like what?"

"Her last name is Liddell. Plus, Mr. Renfrew was the first to compliment Alice Liddell, called her a worthwhile governess. That is until the kids ran away, and she left because she blamed herself. But anyway, was the maid more forthcoming?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact." beamed Jenny. "She said Alice found the Renfrew kids with the help of a man named Richard. Before she was sacked, the kids told her they thought the two were in love."

"That is good news indeed," said Vastra, "if it's accurate. Because if so, we can find one by finding the other."

Jenny beamed with pride at compliments from her lover and mistress. She smiled from ear to ear, and curtseyed in thanks.

Instead of returning the gesture, however, Vastra dragged her along the street. "We mustn't dilly-dally. We'd best find this 'Richard' before it becomes too much of a distraction."

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A pasty-faced gentleman greeted Alice and Richard at the door of an Oxford University office.

"Y...Yes, yes? Who is it?" he asked as he pushed his face out into the open hallway, answering his own question in the process. "Oh, Al-...Alice! You're...quite early! And...and who is this fellow?"

"Dodgson, meet Richard Hargreaves. Richard, meet Charles Lutwidge Dodgson."

I think this problem might be a little out of Dodgson's depth, but who knows?

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