Disclaimer: I do not own American McGee's Alice or Doctor Who. EA and BBC should have arrested me long ago. I am a horrible person for writing fanfiction...
…..Wait, what?
Chapter 9: The Truth Revealed.
"Accept me, Alice Liddell. I am your strength."
Alice blinked away her tears, then regarded the White Queen's outstretched hand. The monarch's face was blank, insistent, without even a trace of a smile.
Alice slowly lifted her own hand towards the Queen. After all, she offered strength. That was something she definitely needed. Strength she could use to...
to...
The White Queen grabbed for Alice's hand, but she had withdrawn it. "What's wrong?" she asked.
"What kind of strength are you?" asked Alice, her voice barely above a whisper.
"What kind of question is that?" asked the monarch incredulously.
"What would I be able to do, if I accepted you?"
Never once returning her hand to her side, the White Queen answered: "You'll grow. You'll rise above your inner demons and be able to touch your friends again. Things will change, and you'll have everything you ever wanted. Just trust me."
"...But what do I want? Is it a comfortable life? Is it friendship? Is it..."
"Just give me your hand, Alice!" yelled the White Queen insistently, as she shoved her hand in Alice's face.
Something about the act finally 'clicked' something into place for Alice. She blinked away even more tears, and stood up. Her face was no longer despaired and directionless, but cautiously inquisitive.
"...Don't you mean 'our' hand?"
"What do you mean?"
Alice stepped back from the White Queen. "You're not using the royal 'we' in your speech, like you always do. Furthermore, you were never this forceful...or cruel. Even when you spoke uncomfortable truths, you always brought it in a manner that made me want to listen and learn. You never sought to deepen my despair like this!"
"Alice, this is me. It's always been me." the White Queen said as she advanced on Alice.
"No. It can't be. You're not the White Queen. I know my own mind. But this..." Alice said, looking all around her, at the hostile eyes of her former friends... "...This cannot be my mind!"
"Stop talking nonsense!" exclaimed the White Queen, who suddenly lunged at Alice.
But Alice continued to speak, even while holding back the Queen: "I have every right to speak nonsense! This is my world of nonsense! But something has happened to it...and I finally think I know what happened!"
With that, Alice jerked the Queen's arms to the side, throwing her off-balance. This allowed Alice to grab at her friend's face, and pull.
The Queen's face peeled off with the sound of ripping paper.
What she saw underneath shocked Alice, but she was quickly able to describe it: "It's you! You're the serpent!"
Wrong, Alice. I am Wonderland. I am you.
As the snake-headed...thing wearing the White Queen's clothes spoke in its echoing voice, which sounded like an exact mirror of Alice's own, the cavern they were in suddenly became much more detailed.
The yellow light sources that Alice thought were something along the lines of glowing stones were actually glowing serpentine eyes, attached to massive snake heads. What she thought were her friends were really patterns of snake scales in the shape of her friends. And what she thought was empty air was in fact thousands upon thousands of coiling sections of snake, surrounding her in every direction with scales colored green, yellow, gray, red, and so many others.
"The Mara..." Alice said in awestruck horror.
So you listened when the Silurian mentioned my name. It won't help you.
The coils shuffled around, closing the way Alice entered the snake-filled cavern. Then, they closed tighter around Alice.
It would have been much easier for us both if you'd accepted my first offer. You have only yourself to blame for what follows.
The voice came from every head visible, leaving Alice assaulted by a cacophony with no directional source to isolate and make sense of. She tried to focus on the snake that had assumed the White Queen's form, only to find that it had disappeared. So too did every head she tried to turn towards.
"What did you do to Wonderland? Where are my friends?" she shouted in a random direction.
What friends?
"The Cheshire Cat! The White Rabbit! The Mad Hatter! The White Queen! Where are they?"
What makes you so sure they existed in the first place? This is MY world. All you have to do is make it official.
"And what if I refuse?" shouted Alice with hatred welling up from her heart.
In response, a dozen small snake heads shot out from the coiling mass and bit Alice, pouring white hot fire directly into her bloodstream.
Alice screamed in an agony she had not known before, but somehow she survived. She tried to move her body, to loosen the fangs or at least curl up in pain, but the heads held her fast. In fact, they pumped in even more venom to punish her for trying.
She felt needles growing within her skin, and thick liquids clogging her bloodstream. Clenching through the pain, she shrieked out:
"This won't break me! This is only a dream! Soon I'll wake up, and you'll have no power over me!"
You're already awake, Alice. And I can ensure this dream will never end.
As the Mara spoke, another dose of venom was injected into Alice, bringing with it even more kinds of pain.
Alice tried to hang on, to defy her tormentor and claim some, any form of triumph over this insurmountable foe, but her options were dwindling fast. Her body was freezing up, and the more energy she spent struggling the faster she lost it.
Yes, Alice. You hate me, don't you? Good. Your hate makes me stronger. Struggle all you like. Exhaust yourself even faster.
"I will... resist you." said Alice weakly. "I will...expel you from..."
From what? Your mind? I have turned it, and everything that you are, against you. There is nothing of your mind that is not me, save for you.
"...Even the Pigeon?"
The Mara gave no response. Not even another dose of venom. "What's wrong, Mara?" Alice asked; "Bird got your tongue?"
You insolent girl. You cannot-
A loud ripping sound echoed throughout the mass of snakes as a tear appeared before Alice. And out of the tear poured a glowing white mist... from which jumped the White Knight, mace and lance in hand.
You? I thought-
"Alice! Hold on, I'll get you out!"
The Knight readied his lance, pulled some form of lever, and threw it at Alice. As she braced for the impact, it split into several different ends, and impaled the snakes that bound her to the Mara wall.
"Yes!" exclaimed the White Knight. "Finally an invention that worked!"
The pain from the venom ceased, but not from the fangs. They were weak enough, however, that Alice finally was able to physically wrench herself free of them. Blood and silvery venom dripped out of her gaping wounds as she walked towards the White Knight...
...and collapsed to the ground as her strength finally left her. "I...I can't move!" she moaned as she tried to crawl towards her savior, but she had not even the energy to lift a finger.
"No no no, don't give up now, Alice!" shouted the Knight as he rushed to her.
Stop! Stop this at once! Alice is mine!
A snake head shot out towards the White Knight, and grabbed him just before he could touch Alice. The snake struggled to bite through the Knight's armor, so it settled for dragging him away instead...
"Do something!" shouted the Knight.
"I can't, Knight! Where's the-"
"Not you, Alice; him!"
"SERPENT!" came the Pigeon's voice out of nowhere, in answer to Alice's unfinished query. Then another ripping sound punctuated the entrance of the bird himself.
"Pigeon, help!" shouted Alice, with as much strength as she could put into her voice.
She could not tell whether or not the Pigeon heard her, but it did so: It snapped the snake head restraining the White Knight in two with its beak, then flew around the pair biting further assaults. All the while, the White Knight grabbed Alice's bloodsoaked form and dragged her towards the exit.
The Mara shot out more snake heads to pull them back, but the Pigeon's beak and the White Knight's mace were sufficient to drive them off. At last they reached the tear, and all those that could move jumped through...
...but not into the White Queen's castle as Alice expected.
…...,,,,,,,,,,,...
Instead, they jumped into a void – one that was actually empty this time. Alice and the White Knight fell for a minute before the Pigeon – giant-sized once again – caught them on its back.
After they caught their breath, the White Knight gave Alice some meta-essence, and she was able to move again. "What...where are we?" was the first thing she said.
"Outside the Serpent's fake Wonderland." answered the Knight. "Beyond that, I don't know. All I do know is right now we're safer than we would be back in there."
"Don't breathe easy just yet." said the Pigeon. "Before we can wake you up, we need to get back to the real Wonderland. The Serpent's traps are everywhere now. Hardly anyone's made it. Used to be it just copied folks' appearances, but now its playing for keeps."
"Don't remind me." said the Knight with a shudder.
The Pigeon turned around, and through the void something came into view: at first it looked like a horribly discolored version of Alice's face, but upon closer inspection it seemed to be a constellation of multicolored stars merely arranged in Alice's shape.
In awe, Alice asked: "Is that...Wonderland?"
"Yes, but it won't be for much longer. Look!"
As the Pigeon spoke, Alice noticed something pouring into the constellation, via what passed for the 'eyes' of the face: a trail of blood-red energy, fed by multiple tendrils that reached out into the void. Thinner trails of energy splintered out into the rest of the constellation, some only becoming visible as the trio got closer.
"...That's the Mara, isn't it?" asked Alice.
The Pigeon nodded. "That's the Serpent's true form: pure evil. It only looks like a snake because that's its favorite."
Satisfied, Alice deigned to ask another question: "Why were you attacking me all those times? The Mara was the Serpent, not I!"
"The Serpent was inside you. It still is." said the Pigeon, anger dripping from its voice. "It put words in your mouth, telling you that you were worthless, that you were no longer in control, that you were at war with your own mind. And the more you said it, the truer it became. If I didn't stop you, this would have happened a lot sooner than it did."
Alice tried, but could not think of any reason to argue with the Pigeon's reasoning. After all, she knew so little about the Mara. For all she knew, it was telling the truth.
At last, they approached the constellation, and the Pigeon plunged into one of the stars – a blue one. Alice felt a rush of floating things whip at her sides before anything physical came into focus through the light...until at last, the trio found themselves flying above a vast ocean, which Alice surmised to be the surface of the Deluded Depths.
"What now?" she asked.
"Now...you wake up."
Before it could explain, the Pigeon tipped to the side, and Alice was thrown off into the waters below!
Alice screamed as she fell, but still managed to hear the Knight call after her: "Wake up! You need to stay strong! You need to-"
Alice heard no more, as she fell beneath the waves with a loud clap. The impact felt like hitting solid ground, except the pain was compounded as water rushed into and around her from every direction. Still, however, she fought through the pain, and floundered in the water in an attempt to find her bearings; at least to discover which way was up.
At length she heard another sound through the water, of water suddenly rushing to the side of another intruder. She turned to it, opened her eyes...and finally realized she was, indeed, awake.
Richard grabbed her by her left arm, and dragged her to shore.
"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Alice spent a minute on the Isis' banks coughing up water. Then she gently rubbed the dirty water out of her eyes so she could see what was going on around her. She saw the bridge from whence she jumped, while she was in her fantasy world. She saw the grassy park she was currently in, just off the banks of the river. She saw grass and seaweed staining her nice clothes. She saw a disapproving crowd, laughing her off as another weak woman who chose death to living an honest life. She saw some less disapproving gentlemen who thanked the Lord that someone jumped in and saved her. And she saw...
"Alice, what were you thinking? You can't just throw your life away like that!" scolded Richard as he fought back his tears. He held her by her shoulders, attempting to keep her steady and grounded in reality.
Alice didn't respond, as she was too busy finding her breath. But she thought of a way to respond, of why she did what she did, to tell him when she did recover. Before that, however, she noticed a major problem:
Richard was touching her.
"GET BACK!" she shouted as she batted his hands away.
Richard was thrown back, too stunned to say anything, as Alice pulled herself up to her feet and ran away again.
At length he pulled himself up, and yelled: "Alice, wait!"
Alice did pause in her running, but not because of Richard's demands; rather, because the crowd had grown so massive that she couldn't see an escape route that didn't involve touching someone. So, she yelled into their faces: "Clear a path!"
The crowd were shocked into obedience, and Alice ran past them, with Richard right behind her. Not even the most curious followed them, instead preferring to go on with the rest of their normally scheduled day. Save, perhaps, for one latecomer...
Alice, meanwhile, ran for only a short distance; her previous ordeals had sapped her energy. So, she collapsed to her knees on another, less crowded area of the park, which allowed Richard to catch up with her.
"Alice!" Richard exclaimed as he knelt beside her. She could tell there was nothing but concern in his voice...but she also knew that's what was wrong.
"Don't touch me. Please." she said weakly.
"Why not? What's wrong?" Richard asked as he backed away, but only slightly.
Alice shot Richard an incredulous look. "What's wrong? What's wrong is that I'm a danger to you, to myself, to everyone in this world! The Mara has taken control of Wonderland so it could spread its evil wherever I went!"
"The Mara...Alice, surely you don't believe what that woman said!"
"Believe it? I've seen it!" said Alice. Then, remembering another thing that happened back in Dodgson's study, she did something she hadn't done for a long time: she exposed her right arm.
Richard jumped slightly as he saw the snake-tattoo, ever-so-slightly writhing on Alice's arm. And he also saw the peeled skin that surrounded it, as if it had once covered the growth.
Alice was also disgusted, but she wasn't as surprised. "You see?" she said. "And she said all it takes is a single touch to spread it to another."
Richard waited a second to get over his shock before responding, but then he said: "But...I've touched you several times, and I'm not affected! At least, I think I'm not..." Detecting the insecurity in his own voice, he exposed his own right arm, and breathed a sigh of relief when he couldn't see any mark like Alice's.
That did nothing to assuage Alice's fears, however: "Then it's only a matter of time. The Mara is greedy, and it wants to feed on your dark side. And when it does, I'll be to blame. You were better off not knowing me."
With that, Alice got up, and started to walk away, but then Richard did something she did not expect: he grabbed her, on her exposed arm, and wouldn't let go.
Alice tried to pull away, but Richard held fast. "What on earth are you doing?" she asked incredulously.
"I refuse to believe, even for an instant, that I would have been better off not knowing you." he said insistently. Then, he gently released her arm as he continued: "Besides, I think you enabled me to resist its corruption in the first place."
This got Alice's attention, and she passed on the opportunity to continue fleeing to ask: "What do you mean?"
"When I was following you, I heard a voice telling me that it wasn't worth pursuing you, that I could go back to my inventions with newfound purpose and approval without you holding me back. But I refused. I had to ensure you were safe and sound."
"That must have been the Mara!" Alice exclaimed. "And you're saying thoughts of me enabled you to resist it? How?"
"Because now, all of my dreams include you."
As Alice took in what he said, Richard paused as if to steel himself, then he continued: "Before I met you, I had nothing to look forward to except stress upon stress, from work and from family. My family wanted me to become a gentleman, my work demanded I be successful, and I was none of those things despite my best efforts. I felt so unhappy, and sometimes thought I could never live a satisfactory life as I was. But with you, I derive joy from your very presence, and satisfaction from your every smile."
He paused, took in a deep breath, then looked her square in the eyes. "You are a wonderful person, full of imagination and heart, and undeniable strength, and I admire you. You struggle against impossible odds for the sake of those around you, and I want to help you in any way I can. Yours is a world I want to be a part of, Alice Liddell... because I love you."
Both paused in disbelief; Alice at what she heard, and Richard at what he said. Neither could think of anything to say for a while, so they just stared at each other, considering their thoughts and what they thought the other was thinking.
Eventually, Alice spoke up: "How can you love someone who's brought nothing but hardship and ruin to you and your family?"
Richard's response was an incredulous: "Whatever makes you say that?"
"Look at the rift I've driven between you and everyone else. Think about what the Mara could be doing to their minds as we speak. Think of all the people I've corrupted, and the damage they could do to the world around us. What sort of life will you have after this?"
Richard surprised Alice by giving a small laugh in response; "Alice, there's been a rift between me and my family for so long. I'm quite used to it. Besides, you can't blame yourself for this...Mara's actions."
"But I am the Mara." said Alice with a pained voice. "Even though it doesn't control me, it's still there in my mind, waiting for me to spread it to someone else!"
"So throw it out of your mind! Dodgson told me about your struggles with the Red Queen and the Dollmaker, and so many other things...why can't you do the same with the Mara?"
"That's just it, Richard...I wouldn't know where to start. I've been unaware of it for so long it's embedded itself deep within the very heart of Wonderland. It knows my strengths and weaknesses, while I know neither of its own."
"You'll figure it out, Alice." said Richard, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "I believe in you."
He hoped Alice would smile, but instead she looked away and brushed his hand off. "I don't deserve this. I...you and I, we're not to be. We cannot possibly have a future together, surely you realize that by now?"
Richard sighed, considering her question, then answered: "Since when does love bend to the will of reason?"
Alice looked at him, at his soggy clothes and hair, at his flushed face, and eyes which she expected to be pleading but were instead filled with a visible compassion; one directed outward rather than inward.
"You have a point." she said at length. "But is it love speaking, or the Mara directing its servant to protect its primary host?"
"...Good question. What do you think?" asked Richard.
Alice closed her eyes, turned her thoughts inward. And when she opened them again, asked: "If you stand with me against the Mara, you'll face death if we fail, and possibly separation from your friends and family, and all your aspirations of fame and fortune, even if we succeed. Can you live with that?"
"As long as I have you."
"And what if you don't have me in the end? What if your love leaves you with nothing?"
Richard paused, giving the question all of his thought. "I never considered that possibility. It would be wrong to force you to love me... And it would be selfish to assume you love me simply because I love you..." He paused, and at length smiled weakly as he said: "I guess I would be satisfied with whatever outcome leaves you the happiest."
At last, Alice smiled. "Then it is love."
"Ahem."
Alice and Richard turned around, and saw Jenny looking right at them.
"If you two lovebirds are done quarreling," she said, "Madame Vastra requires your presence."
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Once again, Alice found herself on the railway between London and Oxford with Richard by her side. This time, however, Winifred Hargreaves was not seated with them; rather, she along with the Mara's other victims were in a separate car, being watched by Vastra's police allies. Riding with Alice instead of her were Vastra and Jenny.
It had taken small effort to convince Richard that the two detectives were legitimate, and they were on the side that opposed the Mara. They were elated to realize that Alice was not actively controlled by the Mara, and was in fact willing to fight it, just as Alice and Richard were elated to learn these two strangers were allies.
This was only confirmed when an off-handed statement by Alice revealed her past acquaintance with the Doctor, an acquaintance Vastra and Jenny alike shared. After recounting their positive experiences with the ancient Time Lord (leaving poor Richard the only one 'out of the loop' as it were), they swore to oppose the Mara together.
But first, Vastra insisted they travel to London. There, after all, Alice had been the most active – and thus done the most damage. Therefore if they were to find a cure for the Mara's sickness, it would make sense to have it close to the greatest number of its victims.
And so, there they were, in a similar cabin to their previous journey, steeling themselves for the battle ahead.
As soon as they were settled, and the train got rolling, Vastra was the first to speak: "In all the excitement, Alice, I quite forgot to ask: What all do you know of the Mara?"
"Only what you said back at Dodgson's, and what I've seen. It's taken over Wonderland, disguised itself as my friends to gain my trust, and then tried to trick me into signing over control of my mind. It's very powerful, and if it weren't for the Pigeon and White Knight it would have gotten me for sure. It looks like a snake, but it's not a snake, and its victims have a snake mark on their arms. It turns people bad, it feeds on negative emotions, comes from the Darkness of...of..."
"The Dark Places of the Inside," corrected Vastra.
Sheepishly, Alice nodded. "Yes, yes, that. And, for some reason it has waited until now before trying to control me directly, but still using me as a carrier for its disease."
"Scary, that." commented Richard. "So how much knowledge is that?"
Vastra pointedly blinked, and said: "Not enough to defeat it, that's for sure."
"Well then, what do you know?"
"What I know, Mr. Ape Hargreaves, are the stories my people told of when the Mara menaced my own civilization all those millions of years ago, but even those were thousands of years before my time. Luckily for us, however, we do not have to rely solely upon apocrypha."
Before saying another word, Vastra pulled a letter from a concealed pocket, written on blue paper.
At a glance, Alice recognized the handwriting; "Is that...?"
"Yes," said Vastra. "I received this a year ago from our mutual friend, the Doctor. He said my future self told him to tell me that the Mara would menace this country soon, and a woman named Alice was involved. However, thanks to the Mara's perception filter, I was only able to remember your connection to the various crimes committed by your associates; that is, until I saw the mark on Cardin's arm."
"Again, I must thank you for coming to Nan's rescue." interrupted Alice.
Vastra nodded. "I accept your thanks. Now then, as for the information..."
"The Mara is essentially a collection of malicious thoughts, mistakenly given sentience from a telepathically-sensitive crystal on the Planet Manussa, several thousand years in the future. After five hundred years of ruling its creators the Mara was at last weakened and banished, but in the process made a threat to the entire universe.'
'It was banished to the Dark Places of the Inside, a parallel dimension composed of pure thought, connected to this material universe at non-linear points in time. The consequence of this being, if someone standing in these connection points fell asleep, their mind would enter the Dark Places when they dreamed. Thus, they could encounter the Mara. The Mara would then influence their dreams, until they were eventually tricked into letting the Mara into their minds, allowing the Mara to manifest in this world again."
"Excuse me for a moment, but..." asked Richard, "If this thing was born in the future, how can it menace the past?"
"You ever had a dream where you were in Ancient Greece, or somethin'?" asked Jenny in response, to which Richard said nothing. So, she continued: "That's what we mean when we say linear time doesn't exist in the Dark Places, same as in dreams."
"Indeed. On occasion, we've taken advantage of that to host telepathic conference calls with...certain time-traveling associates," said Vastra with a sly wink directed at Alice, which was understood by everyone except Richard. Then, she continued:
"However, the Mara operates by the same principle. That's how it was able to appear on worlds like Deva Loka, Siduin, and this one, both 65 million years ago and today.'
'Once here, the Mara would spread its influence until it achieved its desired goals: the downfall of civilization, and the spread of chaos, because those states produced all of the negative emotions on which it feeds, and its appetite has no limit. Many races believe the universe has a cycle, in which civilizations rise and fall, and are replaced by others which rise and fall in their turn. By these beliefs, the Mara seeks to keep the metaphorical wheels rotating, as it's at its strongest when the future is uncertain."
Vastra paused here, as she noticed some thought forming in Alice's expression. At last, she spoke: "I see. So through me it transformed all these respectable men into criminals, and through small untraceable actions it would gradually create a climate of fear and mistrust, undermining the foundations of our society over time...but why didn't it just control me directly?"
"Probably because it knew you could fight it off. Like I said, you've experience fighting off foreign thoughts." commented Richard.
Alice responded: "True...But that raises another question: why spend the extra effort when I can give it what it wants as I am? Sure the feeding's small scale, but it sounds like the Mara can afford to wait all eternity for it to pay off!"
"I think it's because we got on its case. We scared it, right?" said Jenny with a self-assured smile, as she looked to Vastra for approval...but instead, Vastra sadly shook her head.
"Tempting as it may be, I have a feeling the Mara intended to possess Alice from the start. In fact, you may well be its ultimate prize; the other victims were merely a means for it to gather strength, so it could overpower your mental defenses and take you by force if need be."
"But why? What's so special about me?"
"I have a theory...that you and the Mara are more kindred spirits than first impressions would say."
Alice's body became more tense at the suggestion. "Impossible. What would we ever have in common?"
"The answer lies in your dreams...or rather, your dream." said Vastra, cryptically. This time, everyone except her was left confused.
She sighed in disappointment, and continued: "I looked into your medical history before coming to Oxford, as well as skim through your books. Hallucinations, waking dreams, and other delusions...and all of the same place; the same Wonderland. When most people dream, there's rarely a linear narrative driving the whole dream. Even recurring dreams are never the same twice. But you, Alice, have been visiting the exact same dream world throughout your entire conscious life. The characters may change shape, the places may change their arrangement, but they are always referred to as 'the Cheshire Cat', 'the Hatter,' 'the Vale of Tears,' et cetera.'
'What's more, these dream fragments are more clearly a reflection of your subconscious fears and desires, than the disconnected images of a dream. You recognize them as such, and they behave as such. You shaped this world of Wonderland through actions both conscious and unconscious, and you are consciously aware of this fact. And I saw no record of an education on dream interpretation of any kind."
"And your point?" asked a slightly impatient Alice, to which Vastra gave a shocking response:
"You carved Wonderland out of the Dark Places of the Inside."
At last everything is coming together!
And once again I've broken my record for longest story in terms of word count! And I'll definitely break the chapter record as well before this is all done!
Favorite, follow, and review, and soon we'll find out what this discovery means for the coming battle!