Enchanted Parchment

Writing humour is not the easiest when humour is not at the forefront of my life, and I thought it was important to show that Severus remains his antisocial self. I imagine humour will return in time.

~ SS19

Headmaster. I am not sure what is wrong with me - I do not understand -

I cannot open up to you, why should I, you continue to treat me like a child and I do not want to be treated as such - not even if it is how you display your affections for people you care about - it's not right -

No. I don't mean that. I...like the fact that you care about me and continually fuss. It feels good. I've never had that before. You're a friend - I should be pleased - yet I spend all this time tormenting myself - second guessing - wondering if it's just you using me -

I am not emotionally dependent on anyone! I do not have to be! Emotions worn on sleeves are for the weak, the foolish, perhaps the stupid. Why should I share my feelings with you, with anyone? Why should they have that right to enter my life and play with it, when I know all along that they will most likely leave, as everyone else has done -

I don't want to become just a memory. I do not want to be forgotten about -

Why did you have to say that you 'loved me'? Do not realise that such a thing makes things different? It changes things! I didn't want things to change -

I wish I could speak to you properly. I wish I could tell you these things. I wish I could plead with you to make sure things do not change. I wish I could beg you not to say those words and not mean them. Yet I won't. I am not emotionally dependent on anyone -

Do you really miss me? Because there are times, dark times, when I miss you too - but I cannot compete with the needs of others - I understand that you are busy - and you do make time for me, more time than you should - but I do not want to burden you. You do not deserve that -

You do offer the best advice, though. Do you know that? You have always offered the best advice. I could convince myself that you do truly care -

It is difficult to write. I love you too -

Headmaster.

Severus?

Do not leave me hanging, my boy, I have not had anything from you for days. Is there something you wanted to say?

...Severus?

Yes. I do. Want to say something.

I am all ears, as usual.

Are you still there?

Your potion is ready. I will put it on your desk this evening.

That is very kind of you, my boy. Thank you.

Please do not mention it.

Was that all, Severus?

All?

Yes. Was that all you wanted to say to me?

Yes.

Very well. Will I see you at dinner?

Most likely.

That's good. I look forward to it.