Chapter 50: I Love You, Tyson!

~Through these years, your presence has hurt me because I never could express you myself; I thought our rare coincidental together moments were gems to me…

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The sunlight was starting, the clouds were fading, Tyson was heading, his face filled with the motivation and joy of a new start, a rainbow forming in the background, cool breezes blowing through him.

Every time the wind will blow, you will be the share of my memories. Every time I cry, I will remember you smile at me. And when it does ends up all good, and I will forget you, maybe; I will come back to celebrate that I've finally eased your path. This is a goodbye…

He cheered as he climbed up the stairs, perhaps the last time, his breaths tickling in blithe. Hilary was keeping the folded piles of her clothes in her closet.

It's not the way I choose to live
And something somewhere's got to give
As sharing this relationship gets older, older
You know I'd fight for you

He walked in with cheerful face, yet not speaking anything. He headed to his wardrobe and took out his shirts and jeans and threw them softly on his bed.

" Are you going somewhere?"

"Yeah, just somewhere." He answered not looking at her.

Her heart fell sunk at those words that just didn't seem even a little right.

There are times it seems to me
I'm Sharing you with memories
I feel it in my heart
But I don't show it, show it
And then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you can see

"Where?" she asked, her voice was shuddering at his actions.

That's not I was expecting

Is this how it was supposed to end?

Are we just good friends?

Is this just what you've been thinking?

And I've never thought you'd leave me…

"Out of town, some important work by Mr. D" he said nonchalantly.

She swallowed the gulp in her throat before she headed towards him, "Tyson…"

"Hn.." he ignored not looking at her.

"Tyson…" there was a sob in her voice. He sensed and heard it but ignored again.

"You won't talk to me…" she sniveled and hiccupped a little.

"I'm hearing you…Ah, don't cry." He smiled briefly still at the same distance.

"When will you come back?" she asked feebly.

I see those tears in your eyes
I feel so helpless inside
Oh love, there's no need to hide
Just let me love you when your heart is tired

"Not yet decided." He shrugged.

She stood crying, tears falling freely and hitting the floor. She kept on wiping and they felt afresh on and on. Inside of him, he was throbbing with guilt and hurt for making her cry, yet he would ignore and keep the stone hard face same like nothing happened.

Her moans and sniffles were audible only to him. He continually ignored and kept on dumping his clothes and took out his case and piled them inside.

"I think the grey jeans are fine." He said casually, not a peck of remorse and hurt on his face. She shrugged violently wiping her face.

"I don't understand why you are crying." He said lightly zipping his case.

He seemed absolutely impervious to her cries and sobs. He pulled out his hair and tied them once again, fixed his cap, put on a black shirt and a jacket to match, somewhat navy. He took out his perfume and sprayed it strongly and sighed.

"I guess I look fine." He smiled to himself, "Don't I?" he asked.

She looked at him, her tear stricken face pouting in grief. "I'm sorry if I did anything wrong."

"Hey, it's nothing." He said quickly and casually, "Bye."

"But Tyson, when will you com-"

He shut the door, taking his case along with him.

I don't want you to miss me, all the time could never heal what I'm losing but it's just too late and fate has sealed my destiny. I'm not yours and you are his. Silently, my heart will ache because you will not be there. I'm leaving you and I'm taken away from you, far away, and I'd never return until there's reason to see me like there's nothing else around. I won't return until you have loved someone truly. I'm surrendering this game, it's all yours.

Cause I want it all

Or nothing at all
There's no where left to fall
When you reach the bottom it's now or never
Is it all or are we just friends

Is this how it ends
With a simple telephone call
You leave me here with nothing at all

The silent paths are clear and there are no obstructions or questions, his footsteps echoes as he ambles softly through the floor. There would be no steps retraced back again. There are silent prayers in his heart that he is not stopped, and makes his way without facing the hurtful and questioning faces. He smiled sarcastically to himself.

Finally, it ends here. There will be no obstacles in their relationship and she will smile when it all ends up good. Just forget about me. I wasn't even a good friend.

I'm blaming myself for nothing I've done

I don't see the other way any better

Now, it's your turn

The weight of your feelings is light as feathers

It's just now or never

This is how it ends…

Tears and sobs would be endless, but nothing would bring him back. Is this it how it will end? It's just a cruel awakening that I've lost it! It's just over! I'm so scared to fight with myself! Why did you just leave without even saying if you ever would return…It just can't end this way!

She cried over and over but there was nobody to hear her cries except herself. Her throat ached and eyes welled up. All that she could see was the empty room, hear nothing except nothingness, and smell the perfume that departed him. He wouldn't come back and destiny had decided her to live through it till she concludes something. She was escaping everything, fighting off nothing. There are perfect reasons and answers for the departure but her superficial outward self just doesn't accept anything and cries for what's just lost.

She stood up, breathing heavily, and took her bag and put her clothes, a few of them and wiped the involuntarily unstoppable tears each minute and put the bag on her shoulders and walked out.

When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years

Days passed and she waited for him, feeling he would return. Every day, her eyes would desperately seek him, craving his goofy face showing out of nowhere at a sudden time. It never happened.

When she asked Kai and others, they said they had no idea about him though the captain now perfectly understood of his words and what sense they were making.

He could feel the blunette smirking and smiling and speaking him of the gift he would be giving or the someone he would be sacrificing. All that is different, he only in their thoughts and when they open their eyes he is just gone.

She has been questioned why she left after his departure and all she did was a nonchalant shrug. Even though they try to comfort her sensing her grief, she shrugs off coldly like she doesn't even care. It's just simple that her tears are nestled behind the cold façade she had put.

"I think this is the best thing happened to you." Delia said confidently.

"How can you be so unsympathetic?" Her voice broke.

"I've answer to your question, but let me ask you, how can you be so blind?" Delia frowned angrily.

She kept quiet and nodded, seeming to understand what she's speaking of.

"You know, you could have been the luckiest but you have tried all your life hard to kick that state." She said with a sarcastic chuckle. "I'm sorry but I feel so sad for him, more than for you."

"You do care, I know."

…

Ten days passed and she didn't call him even once though texted him briefly asking if he were alright and ate his food. His replies would be just thumbs up or 'Yeah'.

The silence was mutual and wouldn't be broken. It's as if their friendship had been worsening. She still cries for him sometimes, remembers him in prayers and ardently wished for him to return or at least tell her where is he. He didn't said anyone of where he is actually going or would he be returning, it's all that he left giving hints to kai and watching Hilary cry at his departure.

And that's how things ended, the worst; she never thought ever. The slate haired teen does realize what he wanted to say before he left and his words now sunk in his head, understanding quite perfectly what he wanted to.

That's what he had wanted, his dream coming true, his biggest rival and obstacle had surrendered and left, he would just get within no time the girl he wanted, but then, it didn't seem just right.

He should have been relieved, revived and felt victorious, but right now, he was getting a feeling of 'guiltiness' and 'regretful'. He was worried about the brunette; he knew her too well and that's what he had been thinking for the past week.

If she were alright?

She had a brief conversation with him once… It was clear day, cloudless and the sun was shining brightly, though not hot. She had come to the dojo to collect her few books that she forgot to take. Max was busy with Miriam, helping her with her blade along with Dizzi and Kenny whereas Ray was at home and Kai, as usual sulking round.

"Uhmn, hey."

"Hey, how are you?" Hilary greeted back.

"I'm fine Hilary. Did you come looking for something?" Ray asked.

"Yeah, forgot some book."

"Oh…"

.

.

The steps still smell like him. It seems like he would suddenly pop in front of me and keep staring until I speak something. It's just like nothing have changed even when it's been ten days he's not here. It's just that I can share you in my memories and your face in my mind that forms perfectly. Been wondering… been wondering why you left…You had no emotions when you were leaving, you didn't swipe my tears, didn't cry when I sobbed hard. Is it all? Or nothing at all? There's nowhere left to fall when I've reached the bottom. Is it all? Are we just friends? Is it how it ends? Is it how ends with a simple text message, you leave me here…with nothing at all.

Though she's been more focused on picking her book, her memories were continually rewinded to all the moments they shared and all the sad times she and he, both been through.

After getting it, she gently closed the door and treaded downstairs. When she strode out, she sighed seeing the sky. It's till the same; clear.

"Nice to see you here."

"Huh?" her ruby orbs turned to the speaker. "Oh, I came here to-"

"Yeah, I saw the book."

She nodded, "That explains."

He yawned vaguely but stood leaning comfortably against the rigid wall.

"You're missing him, don't you?" Kai asked plainly, his orbs focused on the clear firament.

"I guess so…" she looked away, her voice low.

"Do you have any idea why he left?" he looked at her with suspicion and mild anger in his eyes.

She shrugged, "I really don't know, but I just know that the reason from anywhere will arrive at me. That's what I think."

"And you are exactly right."

"Seriously?" her eyes looked at him in interest, "And how's that?"

He didn't answer right away but walked past her. The moment when he crossed her made her quiver, she got a feeling that her question would never be answered and everything will remain the unsolved mystery if she didn't insist him on knowing more.

She quickly turned back and he was walking ahead, his back facing her front when she turned. She easily reached his wrist with her hand after walking a step or two.

She didn't say anything though she opened her mouth and lines formed on her forehead as she tensed a little.

"Please tell me why he left, really." She implored.

He freed his wrist very harshly and looked at her with death glare, "I don't have to answer you." His word weren't rude but neither soft.

"Bu-"

"You let him go. You were wrong." He said his eyes narrowing

She sighed heavily staring him very hard and shocked, keeping hand on her heart. "No…That's not my fault completely!" her voice shuddered and shook. "You said you loved me though I never reciprocated. When I just couldn't do anything to stop him, you have no right to say him that I didn't respect him! I liked him!" she squealed and a cold blow of breeze hit her.

He watched her, feeling sorry and guilty for making her feel low. His bangs were moving freely, though not exactly rustling. His eyes softened and a sad and sympathetic smile occupied one corner of his lips.

"I never realized why he was gone because of me until he was gone! You can't tell me I'm guilty because you've been on my mind too since you confessed me. I live with that guilt each day that I could never have pleased you as well!" her voice was shaking but the words were heard only by the listener and the speaker.

She cried and cried, wiping her tears and hiding her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking.

Far across the distance
And spaces between us
You have come to show you, go on

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on

"Don't cry. He won't come back…"

Her sobs shuddered; she yelped and sniffled in loud moans.

"Tyson! Please come back! Please!" she cried, looking at the sky, "I love you!"

It's probably too late for me to confess you, but I'm so happy that I'm no longer holding back and have freed my heart of this load.

A/N: Updated on Lily's request. Thanks for reading the story and reviewing on it. Two more to go and probably I will disappear from this site.

Okay, so I feel like talking to you, so here I go. If you are not interested, just skip it, there is nothing important here.

Internals are approaching and I've got lot to study. There are a few things that I've learnt. It's quite tough adjust to a new environment that is more causal than your regular used to right and strict ambiance. You always doesn't get what you want so just don't worry about what you couldn't get. Make your profound efforts in achieving what is still there, what could still be achieved. Don't give a darn about those who don't care how you feel, how you make efforts to keep them in your life, to have time together, moments together, just let them go. You probably deserve someone better. Be it anyone. Your real and inner strength is determined by your extend of focus and ability to ignore the trivial things and ignore the wrong temporary cravings. You will always be satisfied with your own self if you've never deviated from your principles and been right no matter where the world goes. Well, here I end. You might be thinking what and why I'm blabbering but it was just needed perhaps. Through years, life changed, I change, I've tried not to change, things changed, friends changed, but FFC has always been the best place I've never felt aloof from or alienated from. It's probably because of some of the people who have been with me, tolerated me, been with me through all times and never got irritated by my confiding in them. Thanks so much to you all. You know who you are and just so you know, you all are very special to me and I wish I could meet you one day in person to see through my eyes what beautiful persons you've been.

Thanks to everyone for their support and review for this deep story. Just my end thought: "Don't keep a place in your heart or life for someone who ignores you and doesn't value the effort you make to keep him/her in your life."

I definitely wanna know your thoughts on the starting quote, my end thought, italic songs that I owe, and most importantly, the chapter itself. :D