Enchanted Parchment

Dedicated to the character who triumphed in my recent poll - who makes a surprise appearance in this one-off chapter of Enchanted Parchment. Thank you to everyone who voted - SS19 is rather relieved!

I am aware I am behind on my updates for other stories *sad face* I'm trying, I'm trying, but I'm just so tired and my head hurts and someone won't speak to me and arrgggghhh! Anyway! On with the humour! Enjoy!

~ SS19

Albus? Merry Christmas.

Minerva! Merry Christmas!

I hate these pieces of parchment.

I know. That's why I use them with Severus, mainly. I like the secrecy. We were using invisible ink a week ago - that was certainly entertaining, until he started...well, never mind. Oh, and speaking of Severus...

Must we?

What on this very soil possessed you to give him a bottle of whiskey? I told you last year not to give him alcohol.

I give everyone alcohol, Albus.

Yes, thank you. I very much enjoyed mine - the mouthful I had at midnight - however, someone else does not know how to just have one mouthful!

Oh dear.

You do not sound particularly sympathetic, Minerva.

Albus, he does this every year - perhaps you should stop being so over-sympathetic?

Minnie. Clearly there is something wrong with the boy. Why else would he drink life-threatening amounts of alcohol on Christmas Eve?

...Have you tried asking him?

Yes. He clams up. He does not clam up about anything else - except this.

Albus, you need to stop being so concerned. Maybe Severus enjoys getting drunk on Christmas Eve?

This is the tenth year I have gone to his quarters and found him lying in some sort of drunken stupor. I put him to bed...

You did what?

And cleaned up his room, and he still found time to be sick down my best robes.

Albus...

It makes me very angry.

Then talk to him. Not me. Him.

No. It's fine. It's one day a year.

You're chickening out, you coward.

Do you know, he told me I should get you a collar for Christmas...

He did what? I say leave him be.

I thought you might. I may go down and put some more fairy lights in his room. And perhaps some mistletoe. And sing. Loudly.

I think that would be a fabulous idea.

You always speak such sense, my dear Minerva.

A collar! I'll give him a collar...

You do that.

Headmaster.

Severus! How are you?

My head hurts. I assume it was you who put me to bed?

Yes! At...half past eleven this morning.

And I assume it was you who put the gramophone on rather loudly?

Guilty as charged!

...And the fairy lights?

All the better for seeing with, I find, Severus...

And the mistletoe?

You might have got lucky, Severus...

Leave me alone, you peverted old man.

Ah Severus. A very happy Christmas to you, too. Coming to dinner?

The thought of food makes me want to throw up.

Again?

...Sorry.

One day, we will talk about this. But not today. Clean yourself up, and then come and visit me. I promise to be more subdued than usual. I want to spend Christmas with you.

Yes, Headmaster.

Oh...but...Severus. The next time you feel your stomach turn over, could you warn me? A moment would have sufficed.

I have apologised...

I know, my favourite Slytherin. Come along now, I wish to give you your Christmas present.

I'm coming.

And Severus?

Yes?

...I'd avoid Minerva if I were you...