Enchanted Parchment
I swear I am addicted to writing.
~ SS19
Severus!
Hello, Headmaster.
I believe I have something important to tell you.
And what could that be, may I ask?
It really is incredibly important - so much so that I probably ought to tell you in person.
I am sure it can be done through this medium easily enough too.
But the sentiment might not carry through marks of a quill on a piece of parchment! Even if it is...enchanted parchment!
Are you going to tell me?
Tell you what?
What this is incredibly important piece of information is?
No, Severus, I am not going to tell you it.
...Then why are you bothering me?
I am going to sing you it!
Oh no.
Ready?
No.
Happy birthday to you!
Stop.
Happy birthday to you!
Headmaster.
Happy birthday, dear Severus!
I will kill you.
Happy birthday to you!
...Thank you.
There, that was not so bad, was it? How many years is it this year?
Thirty-two.
Thirty-two. Ah, Severus. I remember when you were just eleven years old, with a mop of black hair waiting to be Sorted! Of course, you still have a mop of black hair...
Yes. Can I go now?
Go? No. Never. You have to stay sat at your desk answering my parchment, for the rest of time itself.
Thank you.
Oh, and Severus! Watch out for the -
You don't want me as your enemy, Dumbledore.
The cake was supposed to be a surprise! You were not supposed to tread on it, slip over, and bang your head on the door.
We are no longer speaking.
Oh, Severus. I'm sorry. It was such a wonderful cake too, it was your favourite, I had it sent specially from the cake shop in Diagon Alley that you told me about four months ago!
You...you remembered?
Of course I remembered! I wrote it down, see here, in my notebook! Is your head all right, my dear?
I only mentioned that shop in passing!
Ah, Severus, my old friend - I remember everything, you know that!
My head is fine now Poppy has gone and has ceased fussing.
You may well be wishing Poppy was still there by the time I get to you - you may have concussion! You might have forgotten who you are!
Who are you?
That's not funny, Severus.
No, seriously. Why am I writing this?
...Are you playing with me?
And why do I have a rather large lump on the side of my head?
I'm coming to see you. Now.
That is unnecessary, Headmaster. I am perfectly fine.
Headmaster?
Oh no...