Mosaic

by FlyingRedPanda

(Bucky/OC, Winter Soldier x OC) "The broken pieces… take the ones you do have, the ones you'll find, the ones you'll make and build something… build someone, who you could live with." A story about two people and their interactions with each other, the people they come across, and the world around them. All while being hunted by friend and foe alike. (Re-editing, still posting new)

12. Valeriy Ayers - Demons Inside

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Chapter 12: Valeriy Ayers - Demons Inside

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"How long has he been in there?" I asked. A heavy frown on my face while I reluctantly pulled on a long sleeve shirt. Bucky did not need to be reminded of the bruises I sported. 'Ewww… this feels so warm….'

"51 hours."

"…What happened to the last two bloody days?!" I quickly hobbled my way to Bucky's room.

"You passed out for about 18 hours, and with your habit of losing track of time…."

"Bucky…?" I called out, knocking on his bathroom door.

It scared me, honestly, to find out what's on the other side of this door. I knew how the mind could twist everything. Thoughts that could tear one to pieces. His was likely far worse. 51 hours trapped with them, I had to wonder if my friend's still inside there.

After a minute or so, I tried again. "Bucky? You hungry?"

It was another long silence, but eventually he spat out an answer. "No."

Followed by a loud grumble of his stomach disagreeing. Hunger probably the way to start a conversation. That thing, I suspected, was likely to be a bottomless pit.

"I'm not hungry," he insisted.

"Okay." I eased down next to the door. 'At least you're willing to talk….' I could work with that. "You haven't hurt yourself, have you?"

It was another tense minute, before a muffled voice came through the door. "I haven't…. You?"

"Was in bed the whole time."

"You need to stay away from me. It's too dangerous."

I sighed a little. "This isn't a fully equipped lab. Kind of have to be in the same room to fix that arm of yours. I also have to check for the damage I did."

"No."

"…No?"

"No. You're not fixing the arm."

"Why the hell not?!"

"Do you need to ask that?! After what I did?! I'm a monster! Why can't you see it!?"

"Because you're not one?"

"Tell that to all those innocent people I killed!"

"…."

Yeah, okay, he's most definitely intimidating as fuck when he wanted to be. Pretty sure no unenhanced human could stand a chance with his strength and speed. Probably do fine against a bear with his bare hands….

"…Did you think they were innocent when you pulled the trigger?" I tried.

"What…?"

"You mentioned how they said you're a war hero. That they stripped you of the ability to remember anything. Probably meant that brainwashing and reprogramming wasn't enough for them to – "

"What would you know?!" Bucky practically spat out in a hiss. "You're just a kid!"

'Ouch?' I glanced at the camera in the hallway. "Eve, you talk."

He wouldn't believe what I have to say.

"I don't have information about reprogrammi – "

"I play dumb, Eve. I'm not an actual blithering idiot. You're the one who keeps my parents updated on Amber's research."

A long pause hung between us before a heavy sigh passed through the speakers. "You're not supposed to know that."

"When it involves Amber's labs becoming a revolving door for imprisoned psychopaths, of course I'll know. Pretend I'm not here. You're talking to Bucky."

"…From Amber's research into manipulating a person's action to personality, adding a trait to a person has yet been successful."

"So I am a monster. All they had to do was point me at someone," Bucky's muffled voice mumbled.

"I suggest getting to the point before the details," I snapped.

"It's barely a step away from what the American military made you do. Things you did to keep your Captain's image pristine. Heroic and loyal. If they framed everything up correctly, you were theirs. They had to scramble your brains, tell you that you're on their side, that you're doing good.

"If you were the rare type of person who couldn't kill no matter the circumstances, then they couldn't have done anything to make you. None of the brainwashing techniques out there, cults, governments, not even Amber has been able to add to a person. People are complex enough that with the right combinations of traits repressed and brought forth, not even their friends and family can recognise them without the appearance. Altering memories removes a person further from who they were. Amber has yet been able to activate true emotions in psychopaths."

"Got them damn good at faking it though…" I muttered rather bitterly. "Hang on. Hydra's methods…? They're advanced, going by the stuff in Bucky's arm. They've been at this far longer than Amber has and I wouldn't be surprised if they've collected people on par with her."

"There are a few I know of. Hydra's network is always larger than you think. As for their work on mind control, it's based off of the work of Johann Fennhoff also known as Viktor Ivchenko. They haven't figured out how to add things either."

"…I… I killed children…." His voice barely carried through the doors.

'They had him do what…? How the fuck do I untalk that?'

I couldn't figure out where to even begin with how they could have made that a sensible mission that Bucky followed through. Pulling out my phone, I quickly made a note to ask Amber if there was a way to make a person see a child as an adult.

"It didn't matter who they were…. They gave me a target, and I killed them. I don't even know why…. Can you really call me a hero, Valeriy?"

All things considered, and as a combative hero, "Yea – "

"This isn't real…. This can't be real."

'Oh fuck…. This is bad.' My fingers flew across the touchscreen keyboard of my phone. Door. Open.

No. was Eve's reply on the screen.

"This is just a dream…. This is a dream… This isn't real."

NOW.

No.

"This isn't real! Wake up! Wake up!"

'Is he…? That better not be his head bashing against the wall!'

I'm kicking my way throu

"I swear I'm going to leave you in a steel crate, Val." And as I flipped her the bird, she opened the door to a surprisingly intact bathroom. Actually, it was pristine. Especially since it was his head he was knocking against the wall tiles.

Bucky immediately froze. Eyes widened like a deer in headlights. A moment passed and fear took over. He scrambled onto his feet, matching my every step to keep distance between us.

A snap of the towel and I managed to wrap up his left arm with a flinch from him. A yelp echoed off the walls when the back of his knees hit the bathtub. His body toppled into the basin.

Without missing a beat, Eve unleashed the shower on him. Bucky gasped, and pure panic froze him in place.

'Oh those asshats probably just hosed him down.' Doubt they even bothered with any sort of warmed water.

We did not need him pulled back to that time. My body took the brunt of the freezing water. At least it wasn't pelting him. I reached for the faucet, and a high pitched blip told me that Eve caught on.

My eyes honed in on those terrified blue ones. My hands cupped the sides of his face. His muscles coiled in tension, but he held my gaze. Confusion peeking through fear.

"I'm sorry it's so cold. It'll warm up soon, Bucky. Use the water to keep you in the moment. Hydra doesn't have you. You're here. With me. You're free, Bucky. They don't have you. You are free."

A shuddering breath filled his lungs. He heard me…. He's listening. That's a start.

"We can't change the past. As much as it shapes who we are, the future is for us to decide. You're free to choose, Bucky, who you want to be now."

I could barely make out the tears mingling with the water that poured down on us. The doubt that greeted me in his eyes, it scared me. I knew just how hopeless this battle was. He could easily dismiss me as an illusion. Bucky's the only one who could fight it and he's on the enemy side, ripping himself apart.

But I had to try.

"You saved that boy and mother from his father of your own free will. They're all alive. You didn't kill anyone there. You saved a girl from eight kidnappers, and all nine of them are alive. You didn't kill them either."

"You're not real. You can't be real." He struggled a bit, probably trying to sink through the tub. His head turned away from me. His eyes fell shut. "You can't be real. You're not real!"

"That was an accident, Bucky, and it was my fault. You weren't the one who reconnected the wires. You never hurt me. Everything was just your arm on the fritz. You never meant for any of that to happen. Once your arm is all patched up, it'll be all good."

"I don't want it," Bucky mumbled with half a pout. "It's only ever killed. It hurts people."

"Ehhh, not anymore? It's helped me a bunch. To relearn how to love something that was once my world." I grinned brightly at the blue eyes that snapped open to meet me. "Somewhere between not blowing us up and finding the power source, I had fun. Your arm's not all bad."

Bucky's shoulders shook under my arms. His cheek nuzzled against my hand. A whimper escaped him as he curled into himself. Made himself tiny. But there was no resistance when I forced his left arm back out of the water. Neither of us needed to be electrocuted in the tub.

Gathering him in my arms, I whispered into the side of his head, "This is real. You're real. I'm real. We're friends. We shared sandwiches. It's all real. Please… this is real, Bucky."

"Okay," he mumbled into my neck before breaking down into heart wrenching sobs. His right arm wrapped around my back and pulled me into the ball he made of himself.

I held onto him tighter, hoping that he'd find some anchor in the now. I went back to the head scratching he had liked when he had forgotten everything. Anything to give him some form of comfort.

I had no idea how much time had passed but eventually Bucky's arm loosened up and his head pulled back. I peered down at him and offered a soft smile to those bright blue eyes.

"You with me, Bucky?"

He silently nodded, pulling a larger grin from me. The long wet hair made him rather similar to an abandoned puppy left out in the rain. His eyes dropped from mine to his arm and he quickly backed away, letting me go.

A laugh escaped me and I flopped down next to him in the tub, staring up at the shower head for a second before I decided it hurt my eyeballs.

"Eve… why the fuck is the water still so cold?" It wasn't freezing but it wasn't exactly near room temperature either.

"This is the regular temperature Mr. Barnes showers at."

"…What…? Yo, we have hot water. Why are you showering in cold water?"

"I was saving the hot water for… for…." Bucky's brows furrowed in confusion. "I don't know… I can't… can't remember…."

I wrapped my arm around his neck, pulling him a little closer. "Maybe you'll remember in time. But for now, you can use all the hot water you want, 'kay?"

Eve seemed to have clued in. The water started warming up.

"This is so embarrassing…" he mumbled, hiding his face behind his flesh hand, to which I started poking at his muscly bicep for whatever reason. Maybe to ease the heaviness in the air just a tad.

In response, he lightly swatted at the poking. As if shooing a fly.

"Hey, Bucky?"

"Hmmm?"

"Should probably figure out something you can do easily that Hydra wouldn't let you. So you can use it to remind yourself you're not with them."

This time I couldn't resist, running a thumb across one of his furrowed brows in attempt to part them. The pure confusion that bloomed on his face from that was priceless.

"Anything would do. Something you want to do. Probably something you weren't allowed to. One of mine is being doused in cold water," I said, motioning to the shower head. "Kind of shocks me back into the present. It's safer than doing stupid shit while sky diving? Or trying to beat my record on the off road biking trail…."

A thoughtful half frown, half pout pulled at his lips before he said, "I want to go outside."

"Alright then." I turned off the shower and sloppily got onto my feet, holding a hand out to him. "Let me put the plates back in, and then you can go wherever you want. How does that sound?"

"Sounds g – …." He glanced at his metal arm and shook his head.

"It's going to be safe. Just keep your arm relaxed and nothing will really happen. Got to test this, but my theory is that the power increases depending on your commands on the arm. Like when you tense it, it'll be whipping out power more than relaxing it."

Bucky looked up at me, then at my hand and gave me only his fingers to hold. He got up on his own power before I could even try to tug him up.

I yanked on his hand to the side. Since I physically couldn't pull him to me, I stumbled into wrapping my arms around his ribcage, squeezing tightly. He practically turned into a statue from how much he tensed up. I rubbed his back a little with my hand, trying to ease whatever he was feeling.

"I believe in you, Bucky," I half mumbled into his chest. "That you don't want to kill or hurt people."

It was a couple seconds before he shifted forwards, his arm winding around the back of my waist. The next thing I knew, I was probably a foot off the tub, and with a little bounce from him, he stepped onto the tub edge. Instead of just dropping me, he gentle lowered me onto my feet with another bend of his knees.

"It's easier if I just lift you over my shoulder. Less risk of hurting you," he stated, taking a couple steps back and out of my reach.

"Bucky…? That was a hug…."

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.**.

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"I thought you trusted him."

"I do."

"Then why are you raiding my gun safe?"

"Since you haven't been able to move me, pretty sure I might need a few things in here."

Like a little pouch of drugs. Amber's special blends. I do not want to use these, but if shit hits the fan, I didn't want to be without them.

"Bucky's alright, yeah?" He'd been out for a few hours and the sun had already set.

"Mr. Barnes is on his way back. 15 minutes out."

That was enough time to pilfer his closet for some clothes for the bugout bag.

"Why is it that you call him Mr. Barnes? You refer to Apple Pie by his name and rank."

"Call it a hunch. I wouldn't try calling him Sergeant Barnes. Unlike Captain Rogers."

'Why how secretive of you, Eve. Getting so fucking tired of dealing with this shit….'

The one secret of hers I needed to figure out fast was why she hasn't been able to move me out of this stupid house. She's made it clear that her hands were rather tied on this matter. That I probably shouldn't rely on family connections to dig myself out. Between Bucky's arm and keeping an eye on family safety, I wasn't left with much time to search for a few places to hide out until Jekyll gives up, or how to get there.

But as annoying as she was at the moment, Eve wasn't wrong about the words Sergeant Barnes. The first and last time I tried, his eyes went wide as if he saw a ghost. Even went a little green. Probably remembered something highly unpleasant.

'He might like the dart gun better.'

Less fatal. Less damage in general. Though he'd probably have much better aim with real bullets, even if we did try to make the dart guns' handle as similar as we could get it. Or so I've been told. Highly doubt Hydra had him playing with dart guns. Then again, he'd probably figure out all the quirks in a couple of shots.

So I packed two dart guns, a box full of empty bullet sized darts, and a bottle of sedatives. With a fleeting thought of childhood stories from Gramps, I snatched a rifle as well.

"If that's for Mr. Barnes, I'd suggest the one with the electronic firing mechanism. It'll let me disable the gun if he goes sideways on you."

"…."

"I'll let you keep your oddly blind faith in him. He could use someone in his corner. But I didn't raise you to be this dumb, Val. He's not the man in Father's stories. Not anymore. He's dangerous and unstable."

"It's not blind faith."

Not completely.

"And he has people in his corner. Apple Pie. Gramps. Hopefully, he has a chance to find who he is now before people force him into a bloody peg hole. Like you are. He's not a tool, Eve."

"I do what I can to protect you. You'll understand eventually."

"What if I don't want to understand….?"

'Much rather leave the stones unturned.'

"How long do you think you can blind yourself, before you wake up to nothing? Run and hide all you like – "

"I have to… even if I'm tired of the collateral damage around this family…."

"I can't have you being one of those causalities."

"Too useful of a bait?"

"You do bring the unsavoury people into my realm of operations."

'Then why the fuck is Jekyll still up and running?' We should have dismantled and absorbed them by now….

"But at the end of the day, we love you, Val. Though I must admit that some of us are worse than others at showing it."

"…."

Pushing the words to the back of my mind, I checked my pack. 'Tools, guns, ammo, first aid, Amber's blends, cash, food and… I don't want to haul around water….' But two bottles were better than nothing. Seeing the logic in Eve's words, I switched the rifle, and shuffled for the entrance of the crawl space in the basement.

A misstep on the way down and the boxes I piled up as a staircase scattered, taking me with them. "Ow, I think this hurts more than the wall." Tiles were no fun.

"You landed in a pile of Lego blocks… if you haven't figured it out yet."

"Why is there Lego here?" I groaned, trying to move without having sharp corners dig into me. It wasn't working. My limbs just slid around with those damn corners.

"Some of my people like to interact with physical things. Not just a holographic game plan. Perfect, my door is stuck. You managed to barricade yourself in…."

"I managed to bury myself too." I kicked a box off me, flailing about rather unsuccessfully, and then everything went dark. Pitch black.

"Val, listen to me. Hold it toge – "

'Nononononopleasenononono.'

I couldn't breathe. The air felt so thick. I couldn't move. No matter what I did, my limbs slid away from me. But I couldn't feel anything pulling on my wrists or ankles. So I shouldn't be tied down.

'EscapeIcanescape. Where…? Wheredoordoordoordoor Haveto – Have to find. Need door…. Before – before he comes…. Can't… I can't do this again.'

Suddenly everything went cold and I choked on a waterlogged gasp.

Hands pulled at my hair. One tucked under my chin, forcing my head up. Hard and unforgiving. In a panic, I bit down, catching nothing.

"You're going to break your teeth on that, Valeriy."

I knew that voice. In the darkness with a click and a beam of light, a familiar face appeared.

"Bucky…?" The name burned my throat.

He quickly hushed me with a finger to my lips. "Your voice needs rest. You wouldn't stop screaming." He quickly snapped his hand back when I tried to bite off his finger. "Valeriy, I'm not trying to hurt you." His voice soft, lacking in irritation and easing my tattered nerves.

When he shined the flashlight at my face, I couldn't help but try to wince away from the bright light. His grip on my chin didn't let me move much. Those bright blue eyes searching my face. For what? I had no idea.

'They're blue…? Not brown. Blue. Blue eyes. Bucky. Not him. It's Bucky.'

Almost seemed like a peace offering the way he held out the flashlight. I half expected him to pull it out of reach before I could touch it, but he didn't. He let me snatch it right out of his hand.

I tilted my body to the side, trying to peer around him with the help of the light. 'Basement bathroom. D.C. Puppet house.'

"There's nobody else in the house. Just the two of us… and her…" he said, waving a hand loosely about the room and slightly towards the camera. "Let's get you out before you freeze to death."

The shower turned off. Towels draped around me. A careful arm scooped me up off the cold tile, cradling me against a warm chest.

He kept glancing down, probably paranoid that I'd take a chunk out of his neck if given the chance. And I don't blame him. I just might try.

"There's a power outage in the neighbourhood. Be careful wandering around the house. The windows aren't connected to the backup generator. They take up too much power. So the lights won't be working either. Would be bad if we stood out. Everything else is perfectly functioning."

"G-Great," I huffed out shakily. "You can smack us silly with the doors in the dark." I really did scream my throat raw…. I sound like an old bat who's been smoking a couple packs a day.

"Quit talking," Bucky chided and stopped his steady swaying with each step he took. "I can't see where I'm going if you shine that thing in my eyes, Valeriy."

I pulled at the ends of the flashlight clutched in my hands, and pulled out the frosted plastic. The lantern feature. The darkness all around us ran away. At least for the basement hallway.

"Now what are you doing?" he demanded softly, though he wasn't moving his head away from my fingers that pulled and lightly scratched at his face.

'No mask. No wig.'

He even patiently faced me when I tried to turn his head. His brow rose in question, as he came to a stop in the middle of the stairs. There were no clear rings around his irises.

'No contacts. Blue eyes. Bucky.'

I tried to pull a smile, but I could feel the muscles twitching. It probably looked hideous with the under lighting.

"I'm going to need you to turn off the light for a bit."

The words felt like a stake to the heart. The air suffocating me. The fear strangling me.

"…Or not. The light can stay on," he said softly, lowering me until I sat on the steps curled up around the flashlight.

"S-s-sor – "

"Hush. Your voice needs rest."

When he reached for the light, my instincts was to kick out. And somewhere inside me, I was glad his reflexes were damn quick, catching my bad ankle before I could hurt either of us.

"Wasn't going to turn it off. It's too bright to go upstairs. They'll see, and you don't like the basement."

'How does he know that?' One too many horror movies to thank for that.

Didn't help that the edges of my vision were darkening. As much as I tried to use the flashlight to clear it, the smart part of me knew it wasn't going to do a thing.

"…Valeriy, listen to me. Close your eyes," Bucky said in a calm voice, kneeling down in front of me on a lower step.

I tried but my ribs felt constricted at the very thought. I shook my head desperately. Every time I blinked, I fell back there.

"Alright. How about taking big breath? You can do it. There you go. One."

"I'd suggest you count backwards."

"…Three. Two. One. Let it out. Ten. Nine. Eight. Seven. Six. Five. Four. Three. Two. One…. Another deep breath. Three. Two. One. And exhale. Ten. Nine. Eight."

He continued with the steady counting for some time until well after my vision stopped spinning.

"Is there a way to dim that? Will you be alright with a dimmed light?" he asked.

I glanced down and gave a nod. The switch was a slider from what I could feel from a testing nudge. Fiddling with the line to my sanity, I set it to the dimmest possibility.

"…Still too bright."

I stuck it under my shirt, tinting everything reddish. I could still make out my surroundings, and that was enough.

Bucky shook his head but then removed his jacket. He slowly wrapped it around me, probably waiting for me to lash out again. The jacket made a tent with just me and the light inside. His arm scooped me up and the walking continued. Though this time faster.

I found myself curling into his warmth. It assured me it was him. Some part of my brain functioning well enough to remember that Bucky had an unusually high body temperature.

Resting my head against a broad shoulder, I couldn't shut my eyes. Even if the light was starting to hurt. Too afraid that this wasn't real. That was I back there.

'He's not here. I'm safe. Bucky's here…. I'm safe.'

It wasn't long before I was sitting on carpet again. Bucky plucked his jacket off my head and I found myself sitting at the mouth of my closet.

"Get dried. Keep the light low. I'm going get something for your throat. If anything happens, don't scream. Just say something and I'll be right here. I can hear you. Remember, keep the light low." He quickly left the room, closing the door behind him.

I could almost laugh at how useless the door was. There was a giant hole right next to it.

"What was that?" I could hear him ask as he walked downstairs, into the darkness of the house.

"She… doesn't do too well not being able to see."

'That's an understatement.'

"I suggest not asking about it."

With a heavy sigh, I crawled out of the icky wet clothes. I wanted nothing more than to wrap myself in just a fluffy blanket on a pile of fluffier pillows, but instead I forced myself into some long sleeves again before settling into the far corner of the walk in closet, behind the hung shirts and sweaters. The blanket replaced by a leather jacket I curled under with the light. Hidden from sight.

Trying to keep my head together, I took a big breath and held it. I could almost hear Bucky's voice counting down.

"What's all this – Valeriy?"

"Closet. Again."

His usually silent footsteps thudded against the floor, coming closer and closer. I could hear it stop in front of me. Then the screech of the metal hangers sliding against a metal bar that made me curl into a tighter ball. Maybe if I were small enough, I wouldn't be noticed.

"Valeriy…? It's Bucky…."

'It's not him. It's Bucky, you fucking idiot.'

Peering out from the jacket and letting a little light out, I could make out Bucky's large form, hunched over and crouching down on the other side of the shirts. A mug in one hand, a bag in the other and a rifle slung across his back.

I reached out, snatching his hand holding the bag, and those metal fingers twitched as if to pull away, but I was already yanking them to me.

He merely stretched his arm out to humour me. When he moved away, I tried to fight it, pulling harder only to have my body move instead. I quickly let go, scrambling back against the wall, probably trying to disappear into it by osmosis. Probably.

But Bucky seemed to have understood what I wanted. He was just going out of his way to keep that cybernetic arm of his away from me. He shuffled to my side of the shirts, settling down just within my arm's reach. He leaned the rifle up against the back wall, far away from me on his left side.

I quickly adjusted the shirts and sweaters to cover him as well, making sure they hung as they were supposed to. Even pushed his legs into him. Though he did draw the line at stuffing him under the leather jacket with me, leaving me to cling onto the flashlight like my life depended on it.

There was a long pause from him before he held out a mug to me and a little red packet, a Chinese natural herbal remedy. My favourite for a sore throat from my time in the East.

Obediently, I downed water. All of it, as he motioned. And never once letting go of my flashlight.

"What are we hiding from?" Bucky whispered when I was trying to get ever last drop out of the little packet.

"Closet's safe. Didn't find me last time. Can escape when he's out looking."

"…He's not here…. Only Mr. Barnes and I know where you are, you idiot."

"You can't be sure of that," I snapped, speech much easier on my throat now.

"And whose fau – !"

"Enough," Bucky cut in. "…No more of this bickering. Please."

And then silence.

Neither Eve or I had any response to that. Never had anyone actually asked us to stop tearing into each other. So we didn't have the usual person, Gramps, to scream over.

With nothing to distract me much, I went back to the breathing again.

The smart part of me knew that the chances of him finding me here was the same as what mine were escaping with a broken leg and barely half a useable brain: possible. Though highly improbable…. Hopefully.

The dumb part of me was busy being stuck in the mindset that the closet's apparently a safe place, and that Bucky of all people needed to hide with me. Unless it's Hydra, or an enhanced being, or an army knocking, this was utterly ridiculous.

As usual, dumb me held the reins.

"What's all this?" Bucky asked after coming up unsuccessful in his search for a more comfortable position that didn't result in me shoving his legs right back where they were. The man was made of pure muscles… probably. He didn't have to move for anybody, let alone a little girl. But he did.

"Huh?"

His head tilted towards the bag that sat between us.

"Bugout bag…?"

"…Do you even know how to use this?" This time his head tilted the other way. The rifle.

"Sort of? But that's for you."

He looked so betrayed.

"Not asking you to kill people, Bucky. But a bullet in the knee might deter some unsavoury people?"

His hand waving at the ether, or Eve. Probably still thinking of her as a ghost of some sort…. "Did she say something?"

I shook my head. She couldn't say anything about it if she wanted to from the sounds of things.

"I'm just getting a little antsy?" I said, while struggling to find a way to block enough of the flashlight that it wouldn't be noticeable, but so that I could still see. No matter what I did, this corner, without the leather jacket tent, would be the first corner the eyes would be drawn to. With the light and all.

A crinkle of foil caught my attention and Bucky held out a few large, orange foil wrapped coins to me. "She told me to give you these if you start to cry."

I ended up with another twitch smile while taking the handful of chocolate mints. "Thanks. But I doubt I'll be crying any time soon. Bad idea to be bawling in the middle of a shit storm, no?"

Removing the foil with my left hand was troublesome since my dominant hand was busy holding the flashlight. Almost got my nail under a fold when Bucky plucked it out of my fingers. He carefully unwrapped it and placed it back in my hand.

"Thanks, Bucky…. Eve, how the hell would a person eat while crying?"

"Some choking would be involved I assume, going by videos online."

I forced a laugh, nibbling on the chocolate coin and relishing the crunchy mint pieces. I tossed a coin over his way, motioning for him to have a taste with a tilt of my head.

It's always fun to watch his expressions. So easy to read the curious eyes to the thoughtful half frown to the small nod of approval. He liked it. He bowed his head a tad when he caught more orange coins out of the air.

"What do you need?" Bucky asked out of the blue. Chocolates all consumed.

"…Need…?"

His head nodded. "What do you need to feel safe?"

"Safe," I huffed out. I could barely even remember the last time I actually felt safe. To be free of the ever present fear that sat in the middle of my chest. One misstep. One slip. One second too late and everything could blow up in my face.

"Yes, safe, Valeriy. What do you nee – You need to dry your hair. It's still dripping."

Bucky'a limbs started to unfold from the squished ball I shoved him into and I couldn't help but desperately clutch onto his arm. Probably tight enough to be painful, but he made no indication of it.

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured. "Just going to grab your blow dryer."

"Not safe."

"…."

That's when he gently pried my fingers off him, surprisingly with his cybernetic. Though he quickly replaced it with his flesh hand, taking hold of mine, the one not wrapped around a flashlight. His hold gentle and light. If I wasn't busy trying to squeeze the life out of his fingers, I could easily slip out of his grasp. He turned his body to face me, pushing the hangers outwards and pushing me towards panic. That made it so much more obvious as to where we were.

"I'll be fine. I'm… I'm the Win… the Winter Soldier."

I knew the title. I knew what that meant. I could hear how difficult it was for him to admit it. The catch in his voice.

But still, I couldn't let go.

It wasn't safe out there.

"If it's too much, I can always lead them away and you can make an escape."

"No."

"No?"

"Like hell you're going to be bait," I practically spat out, pissed at the notion.

Bucky's calm expression fell away at my words, twisting his features into something close to pain. His grasp on mine tighten just a fraction. Those blue eyes of his, once again, searching for something on my face.

"I-I'll keep to the shadows. Nobody will see me," he stated, his voice coming out unsteadily. "You can stay in the closet. I'll figure something out."

With that, he walked right out into the open, slipping out of my grip and going beyond the closet.

Almost automatically, I went about fixing the gap in the shirts he made. Needed to stay hidden. Out of sight.

"Let there be light!" Eve sung out, and all the lights turned on.

"Ack! My eyes!" I quickly shielded my eyes, but then resorted to squinting. Closing my eyes was still too much.

"Oh, what timing. Your father's trying to get a call through."

"…."

I quickly picked up my phone and searched my brain for any excuse to prevent a video call. Did not need him asking why I was in the closet and for him ask me to move out of it. I didn't have it in me to leave this spot.

"What have you told him?"

"Just that I'll connect him through."

With a nod, I decided to text him. In shower. What's up, Daddy?

A photo popped in the chat.

I bought you this beautiful sapphire necklace. You should wear it to your next ball.

Wahhh. It's so beautiful. That shade of blue is gorgeous. I love it! Thank you Daddy!

I'll have Eve send it over. Remember to take a picture for me when you receive it.

"Eve, check it over. Make sure no one put anything onto it and store it somewhere. Mind photoshopping it onto me when it supposedly reaches me?"

"That's the plan. No point worrying about it if you have to move suddenly."

Okay, Daddy. Will do. The chocolates are delicious as always. Thanks for the boxes.

I've been invited to a hunting trip next week. I have prior engagements. You should take my spot. You enjoy these things.

"The shit I do. What the fuck gave him that bloody idea?" But I knew why he pushed all the invitations my way, not too sure if he remembered why. It's amazing that he could "forget" being shot at. Good thing Eve's got her Puppets everywhere.

"I can't have you attending a fucking hunting trip right now. Involves moving you. I can't do that safely yet."

It involved leaving the closet. That just wasn't happening. At least not for a couple of days. That and I could only purposefully miss so many times before I accidently hit something…. Or the clients get pissed and I find myself in hot water.

Sorry, Daddy. Those guys are still after me, so I won't be able to attend much of anything without causing some trouble at an event. Might put some of our clients there in some danger. Sorry.

And then there was no reply. Probably shouldn't have told him that.

"Thanks. Now he's yelling at his security team…."

"Hopefully he fires that freeloading bastard…? He's been in charge of my security for five years and a child can do a better job than him."

"…Let me maneuvers some things. See if he takes the bait."

"Yay…." With a heavy sigh, I tossed the phone, and curled into a tighter ball around the flashlight.

"I can't find enough extension cords to reach your corner," Bucky announced brandishing a blow dryer in one hand and a brush in the other at the entrance of the closet.

I poked my head out of my hiding spot and in his stance, I saw how much of a coward I was.

Here I hid like a stupid child. I lashed out at him and yet, there he stood, helping me. The only one to insistently stick around after I tried biting him. The one with a war in his mind on most good days. One that ate away at him. One that most people would lose and give up. But he's fighting with everything he's got, getting up nightmare after nightmare.

The little flame of courage in me flared and with a shaky breath, I crawled through the shirts. Out in the open. I couldn't find the strength in my jelly legs, so I continued to crawl my way over to him.

'I can do this. Come on, you pathetic idiot. You can do this much.'

The moment I faltered, a warm arm wrapped around my waist, plucking me off the ground. The hold light. I could easily worm my way out if I wanted to. Crawl back into that corner.

Bucky didn't take me out of the closet. Just sat me near the entrance with my back to it, to him. I jumped at the sound of the blow dryer blaring at my ears before the hot air surrounded me.

"Sorry. Should have warned you," I could barely hear him say.

Really should get in touch with somebody about a silent blow drier.

Did not expect Bucky to know how to comb long hair. But he did, starting at the bottom. He dealt with the knots there before slowly making his way up, stroke after stroke. He certainly treated my hair better than I did.

I could almost close my eyes and just enjoy it.

I wished I could close my eyes and enjoy it.

But I doubt that there was much time left here, and there was still much to do.

Bucky's arm needed to be fixed. Pretty unconfident I'd be finished in time. Still had to look into the new damage. There's definitely some judging by how the hot air would randomly shift. I could only do my best to get as much of it fixed as I could. Even if I did finish, I couldn't be sure I got everything.

I also needed a feasible game plan for when this house's no longer a safe haven from everything outside. Transport and shelter were still giant question marks. Jekyll had someone who knew me well enough that only the ancient ruin trails managed to survive elimination. Which meant I had to think out of my on record, public life box, and probably the opposite of that box too.

One of the few things that went right was that the parents living across the street were healing and in a coma. Thus alive and mute. The kid's been good so far, according to Eve. But that whole thing was a time bomb waiting to blow up in our faces. One I couldn't just disarm with a few snips of wire.

"Done." With that, the blow dryer shut up.

Blinking out of my daze, I found all my locks sporting ringlets. Full length ringlets. "Huh?"

"…I don't know what happened," Bucky admitted, to which I burst out into a fit of laughter.

"I bet you helped out with your sisters' hair a lot when you were younger," I managed to say, eventually.

Pink tinged his cheeks. Easily seen in the bright lights Eve left on.

"How in the hell did you manage this with a fucking flat brush, Bucky? I don't even – Are you the ringlet wizard or something?"

I couldn't help but pull at one of the baffling coils and watch it bounce into a mess. A mess very reminiscent of a fucked up slinky.

Bucky reached out, a finger curling its way down the ringlet.

'Holy shit, if only it was that easy to fix a spring.'

"Thanks Bucky. I needed that." A good laugh. My body felt lighter instead of the suffocating dread that had been drowning me.

His spine straightened up opening up his posture with beautiful lines. Maybe it's pride swimming in those beautiful eyes.

"And getting me out of the dark, thank you for that. I was losin – " I shook the thought off. "Thank you."

I could almost spot the ghost of an understanding smile on his lips. "Anything else I can do?"

"Umm… if you don't mind…?" I started, playing with a bouncy ringlet, "I rather not be alone just yet? If that's alright…?"

He stared at me for a couple of thundering heartbeats and then gave a single nod. "Okay."

He set the blow dryer and brush aside, settling down with his back against the doorframe. With a leg stretched out, his body and presence blocked the entire entrance into the closet.

Bucky sat between me and the rest of the world.

Felt like nothing could get through him.

He'd probably stay there until I told him I'd be alright alone. Even if I were to pass out, he'd probably never move from that spot.

Might eventually raid the house of pillows to build a fort around me, or again, add to one I started.

But we didn't have that sort of time. Now wasn't the time for messy emotions. I had to get it together. Get something done. Better than wasting time twiddling my thumbs. Wasn't going to sleep anytime soon.

"Mi-might as well get down to fixing that arm of yours, since we're both up…?" I tried, not that circuitry was going to distract me from my current fears. More than likely it'd pull me further in. But he needed both arms.

Those blue eyes bore right into me. They were missing things I expected. Annoyance. Judgement. Disapproval. There was none of that. Not even his usual dose of confusion.

"Not tonight," Bucky replied, with a soft shake of his head. "Rest…. Pouting's not going to get you anywhere. Try to get some sleep."

"I don't know if I can handle the nightmares right now," I admitted. I needed to do something. Anything. Keep my mind off it all. "You know what? Tetris."

"Tetris?"

"Have you come across video games yet?"

"Not that I can remember."

So I got onto my feet, squaring off with the doorway. Determined to leave this stupid closet. But a glance backwards had me wanting to dive into that corner behind the shirts.

In my periphery, Bucky smoothly stood up and his movements to clear the doorway caught my attention. He wasn't even asking me to come out, just waited for what I decided to do. Be it dropping back on my ass, running with my tail between my legs or exiting the false safety of the closet.

It was nice. Not being prodded in a direction. Not having the looming disappointment hanging over me. He had no expectations of me. None. And that was so freeing.

With a huff, I charged right through the barrier of fear, ending up in the middle of the master bedroom. My chest swelled up with giddiness for actually getting out of the damn closet far sooner than I thought I could. Couldn't help the little victory dance before my ankle told me nope.

"Eve," I called out. "You explain Tetris and I'll set it up."

"Would be simpler the other way around if you didn't replace half your words with thingy all the time. Good thing it's self-explanatory."

I shrugged her off. In my attempt to grab the laptop and tablet off the night table, I fell into my pile of fluffy, fluffy pillows and knocked head with the flashlight I still refused to let go. "Ow…."

Bucky, being a civilized human being with common sense, had already walked around the bed, and passed me the objects I wanted.

The laptop for Bucky. Easier for him to operate with physical buttons. The tablet for me, since I knew there wasn't a chance I'd play this seriously.

He grasped the idea super fast when I showed him a couple of lines, and within a couple of minutes, we were both neck deep in our own game of Tetris. Bucky had settled with his back against the bed. I buried myself under a mountain of fluffiness just above him.

It wasn't long, probably less than a minute, before I looked up from the tablet at the sounds of key presses. A lot of them. In rapid succession.

'What the fuck…?'

I could barely see what the hell Bucky was up to with how fast he was playing the game. In the time it took for me to look at a piece at the top, a few other pieces would be neatly placed on the bottom.

"Eve… did you increase the frame rate?"

"I'm pushing the hardware to the limit. Almost finished coding and rendering the next piece panel to bump it up to ten. Val, would you kindly plug in the laptop? This is killing the battery."

He didn't spare me a glance as I crawled off the bed to adjust the tangled mess the charger was caught in. Plugging without being disruptive was rather challenging with how shaky the laptop was perched atop of his crossed legs. Didn't help that his knee was sort of in the way.

Bucky's eyes must have been enhanced. Light sensitivity that allowed him to navigate in extremely low light. He's able to process information and react on it nearly instantaneously. So enhanced brain could be added to the growing list as well.

With the new update, I could no longer keep up. I couldn't understand the flashes of rainbow colours on the bottom of the playing window. Couldn't even track the next tiles up. Not sure it's because my eyes couldn't move up fast enough or my brain was just sludge compared to Bucky's. Everything was just moving too fast for me.

"The things I would do if I had his processing power."

Eve wasn't the only one thinking that. Imagine all the dumb ideas I could bring into reality in a timely manner. Like a transformable Snow's Shiva bike. Or just keep up with the science stuff certain people used to throw my way that would take days of research before it stopped flying over my head. That would be nice. Keeping up.

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.**.

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AN:

This is my favourite chapter thus far. ^.^

To which ringlets.

I wanted braids. Googled 1920s/30s hair styles for kids and got curls. Lots of curls.

So now Valeriy probably believes Bucky went to Hogwarts to become the Ringlet Wizard.