AN: I don't know why, but I wanted to point out that there's a lot of bad coping methods and toxic relationships in Mosaic. They're not all horrible, but I'm not making much of a distinction as to what's healthy or toxic…. I'm just portraying things in the eyes of my characters, and none of them have studied much of psychology (neither have I) so they're not supposed to have much a clue as how to help someone.
They have more of a cover it up and it'll go away type of "dealing" (running away).
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Chapter 16: Bucky Barnes - Pretty Peach Dress
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.**.
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"What?" I demanded after a minute of frozen silence from the young woman. "…Valeriy?"
A grin split her face from the wide eyed look she'd been sporting. Hands still clutching onto a horrifying beige mess she'd been trying to pull out of the biggest box.
"You shaved."
"Was I not supposed to?" I asked, rubbing my jaw self-consciously. Hiding behind my hand. "Women don't regularly have facial hair from what I've seen and recall."
"Did not expect you to have such a… a boyish face? You knocked about ten years off your face? Hahaha, you look like you're about to start uni!"
Valeriy collapsed onto the bed, clutching onto her stomach in a fit of giggles. Took three seconds for her to devolve into fighting her braided hair, squealing about it tickling her neck.
My cheeks burned at the laughter. Waiting for her to calm. Waiting for her to peel herself off the bed.
"Bucky?"
Humming my response, I looked up from my notebook to find a cross eyed Valeriy glaring at locks of her hair tangled with her fingers.
"Do you have braids in your bag of spells? This isn't – fuck this…. It's going to take days to get all this hair in tiny braids." She quickly finger combed out the mess of knots.
My shoulders shrugged. Nothing was coming to mind. But I placed my notebook of scattered thoughts down on the night table, taking a seat on her bed. "What do I do?"
"Uhhh, take three locks of hair. About this much, and – Youtube. Youtube. Yup. Youtube," she chanted. Navigating her phone before handing it to me. A video played on the screen.
Clueless, I picked out three locks of hair. While watching the video. And by the end of it, I was staring at three braids. Somehow. My fingers flying through a fourth. As the other three slowly unraveled themselves.
"…Do you have something to tie it off?"
Without looking up from her tablet, Valeriy plucked a clear bag off the bed containing a bunch of black rings. Elastics. So small I couldn't get my finger through one. She plucked the one I was trying to stretch with a huffing laugh.
"Just give me the braid when you're done, and I'll tie it. I can figure out that much."
"Here."
"The hell? How are you finished one already?"
To which I was handing her another braid, having undone the first three unraveling braids.
"What the fuck? You seriously went to Hogwarts, didn't you?"
"I don't know what that is."
"Holy fuck, Bucky, I can't keep up," she mumbled through clenched teeth, biting on the elastic to stretch it out and by then I was handing her a fourth braid. "How the shit do you braid waist length hair in two seconds flat?"
"It's actually five seconds."
"…."
I held onto another completed braid, waiting for her to finish tying the rest of them.
"Thanks, Bucky. Having you do this buys me a lot of time," she said with that smile. That smile that lacked her usual warmth. The friendliness turned tired.
She's pulling away. I couldn't blame her for that. But I could feel the isolation sinking in. My voice won't be heard… if she's gone.
'You still have him.'
"But I tried to kill him…."
"Who?" Valeriy asked. "You didn't kill anybody the other nigh – Are you talking about Captain Rogers?"
I let go of the braid I was working on when she turned to face me. Giving a nod to her questioning stare.
"He's not going to blame you for that, Bucky."
"But I tried to kill him."
"He's your best friend."
"I'm not that person. I'm so far from the man he knows, Valeriy."
"He's desperately looking for you, at this very moment. He's trying to find you before anyone else can…. Everyone has their eyes on him. Unsavory folks think he can lead them to you… so Eve's been kind of… giving him the runaround to distract people…. He'd fight for you when it comes down to it. I don't doubt he'd pick you over everything else."
"…He'll have given up by the time my head might be right again…." If I can stop trying to kill him.
"Best friends… we don't give up on each other."
"I doubt you or Amber tried to kill each other."
She laughed. "We got into a lot of shit in the four years we dormed together…. She's spiked my drinks and food before with her poisons."
"…You forgave her for that?"
"Never need to? I knew where she was coming from, so I was never angry to begin with. She didn't want nocebos to affect anything, and she always fixed the mess I was in from it. Oh! There's this one time I straight up died for a while…. Heart stopped and all that. Hahaha…. She did manage to bring me back… and I did volunteer that time…."
"…."
"There's not much I won't do for her. Maybe not so much being her guinea pig anymore. But at least to protect her, I'd do anything. I put her through enough shit…." Then the lightness she held dropped. "I thought I got her killed once too…. Kidnapped, tortured, body torn to piece and found in multiple ditches…. That's what I was told…. And then a few years later, I actually let most of that happen…. It's why her face…."
Her hand motioned a line from the corner of her lips to the middle of her cheek. The Glasgow smile.
"It's far worse than that…. She's missing organs. A bunch of them. She should have just done whatever they asked. All she had to do was survive and trust that I'd get her out…. Instead she gave them absolutely nothing and I was two seconds from shooting her with a dart full of her own poison concoction…. I didn't want her to suffer anymore…."
"She forgave you for that?"
Valeriy shrugged. "Probably? She's still my best friend and she doesn't lord it over my head. Still trusts me to have her back…. But we both know it's my fault that happened…. It's my job to protect her. I could have stopped it. I should have stopped it. It shouldn't even have gotten close to that….
"But she stopped me from killing her. She could barely talk with how fucked up her face was…. Still pulled medical miracles out of her ass. She saved herself so her death wouldn't be on my hands…. Gave herself brain damage so she can't feel how much pain her body is in. She can't feel anything anymore…. It's why we have that drug that blocks the sense of touch…."
As quickly as they formed, Valeriy rubbed away the tears before they fell. A sniffle to try and contain the guilt from her voice. A clearing of her throat before a forced smile pulled on her lips.
"Concentrate on yourself, Bucky. He'll be there. No matter how long. He'll be there when you're ready."
"And if I'm never ready?"
"…If you want to give him closure, Amber could dig up that thing I died to. She perfected it years ago. It was used on her to fake her death the first time I thought I got her killed…. It's some synthetic thing derived from a pufferfish, so it's super safe… the dosage might be wonky with your uhh… body?"
"…You died trying to fake your own death…" I managed to piece together.
"…Yeah… for April Fools. She might be a genius but that doesn't prevent us from having dumbass ideas and following them through…."
"Awww, Bucky," she laughed, pulling me out of the memory. You're still beautiful."
Her hand reached up. Fingers sliding across my cheek.
"Oohh, wow. Your skin is so soft… The fuck? I bet you don't even do skin care shit and have some bloody diet to keep this so smooth…. I can do this all day."
I couldn't. Without the usual prickle from stubble. It was too much. And I took a step back from the bright eyed girl.
Her head tilted in a small question, but her hand dropped back to her side with a shrug of her shoulder. Then she held up the large fleshy mass to me.
"So uhhh… this is going to feel… weird as shit? But you shouldn't feel like you're in a sauna or a freezer? Managed to fix that problem a couple years ago…. What else was there…? My brain is so fucking fried…. No clothing? Or it might have weird bumps? Or the sauna thing will happen? And you'd probably… chafe?"
"What's this for…?" I asked.
"You don't exactly look like a woman? But it's mostly to cover your muscles and heat signature, completely. Your metal arm and high body temperature kind of give you away… instantly? So the fat suit will make a blank slate and let Eve control how you look on all levels. From technology to human senses. Make it so nothing doubts that you're a woman…?"
"…Oh…."
"…Yeah…."
With a nod, Valeriy passed the suit to me and hobbled her way into the bathroom. The little braids bouncing with each hop. Leaving me to stare at the pile of beige flesh hanging from my hands.
It felt bizarre. On the outside, it was human skin. No other way to describe it. It felt exactly like human skin. Not my skin. Not her skin. But still human skin.
If the inside had been red and bloody, I'd believe that I was just holding onto a carefully skinned human being. That the A.I. ghost had skinned some innocent human being as part of some elaborate plan to slip under the noses of Hydra.
Whatever the inside was made of, I have not the slightest clue. My thumb kept sliding from how slippery it was. The material was so soft. Softer than all of Valeriy's pillows and blankets. Giving under pressure like a sponge and bouncing back into shape just as fast. I couldn't even tell what the temperature of it was. Neither hot nor cool compared to my fingers. Not enough to set off the sensors of the metal plates.
Folding my clothing into a neat pile and packing it away, I still couldn't make heads or tails of how I felt about this whole situation. But I was already picking up the beige mass. Slipping a foot into a leg of the suit. Not the easiest thing to get into. Hopping around the room.
'…What the hell am I even doing…?'
Once I managed to get my foot into the suit's foot, it was off putting how well it fit. The whole leg hugged mine in a tight hold. The skin wasn't stretched as it was trying to my leg in place.
One glance at the left arm sleeve and the indents in the shape of the plates confirmed it.
"Was this made for me?"
It was odd to talk at a little device haphazardly tossed onto a bed.
Weirder still that it replied.
"Of course. This has to pass flawlessly."
"How…?"
"The hell did I say about creeping on Bucky?" Valeriy partly yelled from the bathroom.
"Easy enough to weave together a 3D model with a month's worth of high definition footage of him. I left the bathroom alone, if that puts anybody at ease."
I doubt I could get over the feeling of this suit. The pillows between my feet and the floor. The fact that the material still felt the same when it should be warming up. But it didn't. Inside was devoid of everything my sense of touch knew, replacing it with an unyielding pressure. Wrapped tightly around my limbs.
Getting the metal arm into the sleeve was far more difficult. It got stuck. My hand kept slipping whenever I pulled on the material.
"How's it going, Bucky?"
I looked down with a frown.
"My legs are in…. The arm won't go past halfway."
"The cybernetic one?"
"…Yeah."
"Sit down and… cover yourself? I'll help. I think I know what might be the problem."
A minute later, she was kicking open the door while her fingers quickly pinned a coiled braid to her head to match the rest of them. Wearing the peach dress and a jacket of white lace.
"…I always forget how fucking disturbing getting into these things is…."
Valeriy frowned before a laugh escaped her and she dug through her toolbox.
"The casts have some trouble getting in those suits too. It's made for skin not… anything else."
She settled next to me, motioning for me to pull out the arm. There was a pause when she held up a bottle in her hand, eyeing the sleeve and the arm. With a shrug, she dumped a good amount of clear liquid into the sleeve and after rolling up her sleeve, shoved her arm inside.
"And… 'kay, that should help. Probably…. Yeah, probably…."
I gave it another shot as she grabbed a towel to wipe her arm.
Once again, it was stuck at the midpoint. She stepped in to help, resulting in my need to dodge her slipping fists flying towards my face. Or staring up at the ceiling when she decided to hug the arm in attempt to push the fleshy material upwards.
"Valeriy, this isn't working."
With a huff, she backed off, hands resting on her waist. "Eve, make a note about getting some handles on the inside of the left arm if you make another one of these things for Bucky."
"I really rather not make another suit."
She faced me again, waving the voice off.
"This isn't going to work," I stated again. "This whole disguise. It's not going to work."
"It will. It has. Use the system and play the people. They expect you to be sneaking through. Would never even thing you'd crossdress and pass as a woman with your body. Or crossing an official border. Among a group of bridesmaids. Their guard wouldn't even be up. Best place to hide…. Now you push and I'll pull?"
I froze when Valeriy stood up on the bed. Hovering over me from behind. Her hands reaching down on either side of my head to grab the flesh suit. Her knee resting against my back. The metal cast cold on my skin.
Grab arms. Pull. Target incapacitated.
With one final push, everything slipped into place. Luckily. Not sure I wanted to go through the hassle of my fingers slipping into the wrong places.
There was so much between my fingers that it was difficult to move them. Bending at the joints were even less possible. With how much material was in the way of the joints.
But the metal arm… it now looked human. Wrapped in flesh. The idea just as horrifying as what laid beneath.
A short struggle, pulling and slipping, before my right arm was in place. Though this time much less of a hassle and without the aid of the lubricant.
"That was stupidly exhausting. I want to give up on movement," she laughed, collapsing onto the bed. "…Ow…. Relax. I'm fine. Shouldn't have flopped down like that."
I couldn't help the flinch at the soft pat on my back. On my bare skin. I cleared my throat, searching for a change of subject.
"Have you worn something like this?"
"Yup. But by choice. Halloween…. Was testing out how well the concept would work. Did well enough that I didn't get any candy and was lectured into an eating disorder until Amber whacked my head straight…? Now she's the one who uses these the most… since I stuff her into one of these things any time she goes out…."
"This is a bit unsettling," I mumbled softly. Unable to get used to the emptiness of texture or temperature. The tight pressure squeezing me. The distance between fingers and everything else. Nothing felt right.
Tear off suit. Use it to smoother face. Target incapacitated.
Valeriy shuffled about the bed until she settled behind me. Hands at my sides. I could only feel the compression of them from the other side of the suit. Pushing and pulling at the opening to close it.
"It gets rather claustrophobic wearing this thing…. If that happens, just remember to breathe and concentrate on something else in your surroundings. Best not to book it screaming like a mad idiot straight into a car… not my smartest choice of actions…. But it's kind of fun to run into things? Or think of it as a really strong full body hug?"
"You have fifteen minutes left."
"Ah shit," Valeriy swore, pulling the last bit of the suit closed before scrunching up a dress matching hers into a ring. "Sorry. Need your cooperation to get this dress on. Arms up."
An order. I wanted to run. Run from moving in this suit. Run from everything.
"Now hair…. Fuck. 'Kay, braided hairband. How hard will that – never mind. Your hair's not long enough and I have no bloody idea how to French braid. Where's my spray thingy?"
"…Isn't that the epoxy spray?" I asked over the clattering of a metal ball.
"Yup."
"For my hair…?"
"For the flower going into your hair."
"You're gluing a flower… to my hair…?"
"No? I'm gluing it to this bobby pin…? There's no flowers in here. They're just on the wallpaper…. Shit. Is there anything cute in the room?"
No. No, there wasn't.
"Shit, there's nothing."
My body jumped a little when her left hand combed through my hair. Flipping chunks of it from one side of my head to the other. Combing more and more to one side of my head. Nails scratching along my scalp.
I barely managed to stop myself from leaning away. The contact too much in the lack of feeling in the rest of me. My eyes falling shut as I tried to hold myself together.
"You've wasted six minutes."
Almost couldn't stop the words from tumbling out when she moved away.
"Ah fuck it. Your hair's pretty enough as is. Just make sure your ears stays covered. They're basically giant ass fingerprints… on the side of your head…" she said as she scrambled for the scattered boxes, pulling out a bundle of blond hair. "I'll get my wig and face on first, so you don't have to stay stuck in there longer than you need to. Eve, tats please and thank you."
At a flip of hair, the young woman was now a blonde. The metal casts dulling from the metallic black to butterflies. The patterns unfurling across the surface blending into her skin as tattoos. She pressed a white sheet to her face, tucking in the edges under the wig.
"Is it working? Do I look like… not me?"
Dumbly, I nodded.
It was someone else. Standing in front of me. Strong jawline. Thin lips painted with red lipstick. Freckles. Almost hollowed cheeks. Even her shape of her eyes changed under the purple eyeshadow.
'I need sleep….'
I should have slept.
This was too much.
"Good. Good," she chirped.
It wasn't her grin.
That was not her grin.
"Your turn."
Only those pale eyes, her posture and her voice was hers.
She picked something up from another box, approaching me. Motioning for my head to lift. She pressed something to my neck and it stuck there.
"Eve? Why does he need to read this paragraph? What is this? Mission Impossible?" she asked, handing me a card with a paragraph on it before going back to the boxes scattered messily.
"I guess he doesn't have to read the card. I do have… yeah, I should have enough recorded to work with… surprisingly. For two people who I've personally watched not utter so much as a word for days at a time, you two suck at being quiet around each other."
I couldn't help myself. After so long… finally. Finally. I was allowed to speak freely. Without being punished for speaking out of turn. Without having to lose it all to the chair.
Free to ask about anything. About my curiosities about this world I was stuck in. Learning about all the new things I've missed out on. Getting answers to the holes in my life.
And then there's the ridiculously reckless way Valeriy seemed to live a portion of her life….
"Give me a break about that," the now blonde huffed. "It's been so long since I've been able to talk to someone without having to lie about one thing or another. The last time I got to talk so freely for more than a couple of days… was when I was still dorm mates with Amber?"
I shifted uneasily. Barely able to stop myself from fighting the suit. Trying to just breathe through the pressure wrapped around me. Trying to stay afloat in the memories drowning me. Waiting for my nerves to wake. Waiting for the mind consuming itch of being thawed.
"You won't have to be in this thing too long, Bucky," she whispered softly,
I flinched back at the fingers caressing the right side of my face. Staring up at the foreign face in front of me. Clinging to the gray eyes in hopes to recognise her.
"Are you sure this is – "
I couldn't finish my question. Barely able to hold in my gasp. It wasn't my voice. That was a woman's voice. Far higher pitch than Valeriy's or the A.I. ghost's.
"Whoa. It really does work. Hey, do I get one of these?"
Her thumb sweeping across the voice changer stuck to my neck.
"Only managed to get my hands on the one. It's a prototype, and no, the speaker system we used on Coulson sounds nothing natural."
"Damn. No fun…."
"The prototype is still buggy. If it goes weird, Mr. Barnes, just pretend to have a high pitched coughing fit."
I gave a nod. Uncomfortable with speaking. The silence back in my life. My voice stolen from me in a different way.
I don't like this.
I don't like any of this.
"Val, you'll be going by Vicky Manson. Mr. Barnes, your name is now Jamie Holloway. The two of you are bridesmaids to Sandra Blake. The group lost the two of you during the bachelorette party last night in New York. The wedding's this afternoon in Toronto. The maid of honor will be going by Divit Gupta. Make it like you've known each other for the last ten years, at the very least."
"Tilt your head back and close your eyes," the woman said, her left hand supporting the back of my neck.
The white sheet was strangely cool and it wasn't sticky. Almost didn't feel it there except for the lack of air flowing across my skin. Much like the suit. Her fingers smoothed it out. A gentle pressure as they swept across the curves of my face.
"Another thing Val, you better learn to shut the fuck up. Not a word unless you have to."
"What…? Who the hell is picking us up?"
"Sparks."
"…The fuck? I know Sparks. We get along. Why the hell do I need to… Hmmm. 'Kay. Fine. I'll shut the fuck up," she nodded with a frown, kneeling in front of me with a pair of sandals.
"I can – "
I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't want to hear that voice… and got winded before I could reach my own foot. Couldn't bend over the synthetic fat in front of my stomach. Unable to put on my own shoes. A pair of floral covered sandals. That I couldn't feel.
"Eve, easy up a tad on the makeup for Bucky. It doesn't match the hair. Mmm. Warm up the lips a bit. Much better. Looking lovely," the woman said with a nod of approval.
"Sparks has arrived. Mr. Barnes, it'd help if you didn't use Val's name as well."
There was a heavy sigh from the blonde as she pocketed the phone. She gathered the various bags filled with what we've brought and what was already in the room. Then proceeded to walked straight into the door. Charged hard enough to fall backwards. Groaning in pain.
"…Did she…? I'm not attached to that door. It's a motel."
Moving to help, I decided I never want to move again after the first two steps. . Not in this suit. But I forced myself forwards, trying to move as little as possible.
She motioned for the door instead. To unlock it. Which was a struggle. Failing to bend my fingers enough to grip much of anything.
When I finally managed to flip the lock, the door knob turned on its own. The door pushing into the fake stomach before I managed make way. The cushions under my feet did nothing to stop me from falling onto the wall. Any correction I tried to make to my balance was absorbed by the suit.
A woman stood in the doorway. The same peach dress on her figure. A figure that screamed fighter. Muscles built over years of experience. Posture ready to lash out if need be. But no weapons. None that I could see and the dress did a poor job of hiding much of anything.
Green eyes darted from me to the blonde. A dark brow rose in question. Her posture relaxing likely at the sight of us bumbling around the room.
"Good," the new woman greeted, picking up a few bags from the blonde. "The two of you match the passports enough. Come on. The border's going to get busy if we don't hurry. I don't want to be caught up in the lines."
She was out of the room before the blonde could peel off the floor and to the car before I could step through the doorway. Two bounces of the bags in her hands and she glanced back at us. Green eyes calculating how dangerous we were. She knew. She knew what was in one of those bags. The arsenal of weaponry I had stolen. She lifted up a secret compartment in the trunk and dumped the bags in.
There was another glance from her as she made her way to the driver's seat. Trying to parse out more information. I doubt either of us looked any bit intimidating with the hobbling and waddling. But the way she held herself changed back to when I first laid eyes on her. Ready for anything thrown her way.
The blonde stuffed me into the car when I froze at the warped reflection on the S.U.V. A woman stood where I did. The dress fluttering in the wind. Wind that only my hair and eyeballs could feel.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from the image of a pretty face in the window staring back at me.
I tried touching my cheek and felt nothing except some pressure. But the flesh moved accordingly. There was even pink lipstick. Lips frowning along with my movements. Barely even noticed the seat belt being pulled around me as the car pulled away.
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'I'm okay. I'm okay. Just a little longer. I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm not okay. This is not okay. I need to get out. I can't… I ca – '
"Use number three," a whisper of the A.I. ghost coming from the ear of the brunette driving.
The tension. The headache. The panic. All of it becoming too overwhelming as the car rolled to a stop.
At least there weren't any lineups.
"Good morning," the driver greeted, handing over three passports to the border guard.
"…Another group earlier wore the exact same dress as the three of you," the officer noted.
"…I was hoping to be earlier than them. Bridesmaids. Wedding's in a few hours. Lost these two last night." Her head tilting back towards us.
"Wild night, I'm guessing."
"Any other way to go?"
The man gave a laugh. "Could you pop the trunk?" At a push of a button, a thunk sounded behind me. "Any of you fired a gun recently?"
"Yes," I automatically answered. My voice. That wasn't my voice.
"Vodka shot guns! Woohooo!" the blonde next to me cheered, arms waving about. Voice forced through her nose and the once lower tones turned high. Words slurring together. "Vodka! Vodka! Vodka! Where's the gun…?"
"No more alcohol for you. You need to sober up," the driver responded after a moment's pause.
"Vodka."
"No."
"…Where did you go for the bachelorette party?" The border guard walked around to the back of the car.
"The Big Apple," giggled the blonde as she climbed about the seat to peer at the guard over the backseat. Every gesture a calculated movement. Right down to the way her feet bounced up and down. The lightness and ease once there was gone. "What are you doing in a few hours? I need a date for this shindig."
"Vicky!" the driver cried. "No! I'm so sorry about her, Officer. Please ignore her."
The man merely shook his head at them. Having checked the few bags in the trunk, he moved back to the side. "I need to check what's in that bag."
The blonde grinned, unzipping the pack I knew contained the various drugs used to fill the darts along with the revolver itself. This was bad. This was very bad.
"…Is that men's underwear?"
That was mine.
I was wearing that. Yesterday. I swore I packed that away.
What the hell was that doing in her bag!?
"Should be Mike's," the blonde said with a mournful sigh. "He had abs to die for. Perfect for body shots…. Woke up to his name tattooed to my ribs. Need to get that covered up… again. I was counting on my gals to stop me from tattooing random guys all over me."
"…Be glad it's not written across your forehead," the brunette muttered, shaking her head to disguise the little laugh that escaped her.
With a heavy sigh, the officer asked, "…Which of you is Divit?"
The driver raised her hand. Her reflection sporting a meek smile.
"Jamie?"
The blonde's hand resting on my knee pushed down. And from the look of how the flesh stretched, I didn't feel a fraction of it. I looked up and copied the brunette. I did not want to move in this suit. I just wanted to run.
"And you must be Vicky."
"The one and only, Gorgeous."
The officer laughed and returned to his booth with the passports.
The driver turned around in her seat, leveling us with a glare that had the blonde sinking onto the synthetic flesh between us. Green eyes screaming out words I couldn't understand.
"Passports," the A.I. ghost's voice sounded in the driver's ear.
The brunette turned away, slapping a smile into a place. "Thank you. Have a good day."
"You too," he replied, handing the passports over.
"Bye Gorgeous!" the blonde chirped as her window passed by his. A wave of a tattooed hand. Fingers wiggling.
The windows all rolled up and as we drove away, a collective sigh came from all of us. Somehow…. Somehow we managed to get through that without a bloodbath.
Minutes of suffocating silence ticked by between all of us.
The blonde was stiff. Straight backed. On high alert.
The driver's eyes darted from point to point. Taking in her surroundings almost systematically. But her eyes took note of the rear view mirror far more often than she had on the way here. Also on high alert.
It was all I could do to keep myself together. Watching. Watching their odd behavior. Watching for familiar faces to pop up. Hydra had to be close by. Watching.
Nothing changing as more and more time ticked by in the silent car. That was until I jumped at the black fabric that rolled up the rear windows. The A.I. ghost had to be in this car, controlling it. Little holes allowed some of the outside world to be seen through the fabric. Not too much of a hindrance in a fight if need be.
"Val," the driver called out. Her tone heavy with more than just a name.
"Sparks," the blonde mirrored, her hand slipping into her bag and tossing out my underwear. Then in a blink, a revolver was tucked between the seat and the headrest, aimed right at the brunette's neck. "Both hands on the wheel. I so much as feel like you're up to something and I'll shoot."
"Oh, Val! Don't you dare hurt another of my people!" the A.I. ghost roared.
"Like you can stop me."
Hands tightened, adjusting themselves on the wheel. "…The car will crash," the brunette breathed out.
"Don't care. It's survivable," the blonde stated so casually, making the other woman's muscles coil with nerves.
A pinch to the nose, and the freckled skin turned white as Valeriy's face came back into view. The white sheet tossed onto the seat between us.
I groped around for a weapon. A gun. A knife. Anything. But felt nothing but squish on my person.
'I have the arm….'
If nothing, I had the arm. Slightly malfunctioning and wrapped in a fake flesh.
'…Valeriy….'
I had no idea as to why she has turned against the A.I. ghost and her asset, but she has. Even if the unruffled mask she wore slipped for a split second. Her hand was steady as she held the revolver to someone she knew.
"I can't deactivate the dart revolver when she's holding it, Sparks," the A.I. ghost warned in the driver's ear.
I could practically see the words written on the face of the darker skinned woman in the rearview mirror. One second to save myself.
"Whatever you do, do not tempt Val. She will shoot. Even if the both of you end up with broken spines. It's no bluff. Do not give her a reason to finish pulling the trigger. Any motion she can't predict will result with a dart in your neck."
"What brought this on?" the driver asked. Keeping her voice even.
"Been warned not to let you know it's me."
Valeriy's right hand struggled with the blonde hair pinned to her head for a moment before giving up. Leaving it still stuck to the coiled braids. Her hand settling down around the metal one wrapped in fake flesh in what might have been an attempt at comfort.
"…Shit…. She's pieced things together wrong. I'm not confident with nudging her in the right direction without getting you shot…. I may have pushed her a little too much. Part of me was rather worried she'd forgotten how to keep her mouth shut."
"Now what?" the driver asked the younger woman. Or the A.I. ghost. Maybe both. She was searching for an out. Be it words or violence.
"…I didn't think this through enough…" Valeriy muttered, hand setting off the pressure sensors of the metal plates.
"Don't get shot, Sparks."
"…I can't tell when you're lying. Fuck."
"What reason would I have to lie to you, Val? I'm one of Eve's Puppets. I do whatever she tells me to."
"Puppets?" I repeated, my heartbeat thumping in my ears. "You're like me?"
"…I have no idea who you are. It'd be laughable if your name is actually Jamie. Eve told me to transport two people across the border, and that's what I do. No questions asked."
"You could have worded that a bit better, Sparks," the A.I. ghost's huffed from the speakers of the car. "My people have a choice if they take the job or not. They just don't get paid for a declined job. I never picked the name Puppets. Each of them are too precious to me to be called such."
"Honestly? As much as they're her hands and feet," Valeriy started, sounding utterly exhausted, "they're the furthest thing from being her puppets compared to everyone else. The rest of us gets manipulated into dancing on her strings. Sparks is very far from what you're thinking…."
I could feel my name at the tip of her tongue, but she swallowed it. Hand squeezing down on the metal fingers again. She didn't want the brunette to know who was sitting next to her.
The questioning stares my way told me as much. The woman had no idea who she had picked up this morning. Either of us. That was until Valeriy opened her mouth.
"Can we get back to the fact that you have a gun to my neck?" the driver reminded impatiently. Knuckles white from how hard she gripped the steering wheel.
"If you want?" Valeriy offered. "I still can't tell if you're lying to me or not, so we're sort of at a standstill?"
"Explain to me why is it that you don't trust me, Val? We're friends last I checked. What has changed?"
"You have orders to bring me in."
"I do."
The young woman next to me sagged into the seat. A sigh escaping from her.
"I'm not carrying them out. I don't work for your family."
"But you work for Eve and she works for us."
"Things get a little blurred. Things were blurred back then…. Wait, you actually think I'm going to bring you in after last time?!"
"After last time, I can't bloody risk it!"
"Why did you think I picked Sparks out of everyone else, you idiot!"
'I have to get out of here.'
"After everything, Val – !"
'Before they take it out on me. I have to hide.'
"You're Sparks! I'm utterly fucked if you're the one after me! What was I su – !"
"Val, next to you."
"Huh? Oh shit."
A hand closed over mine that was trying desperately to open the door. But my fingers just wouldn't cooperate. Another hand used my knee as support. A body against mine.
Wrap fingers around throat. Crush windpipe. Target incapacitated.
Grab revolver. Shoot – Collapse skull with handle. Target incapacitated.
The butt of the revolver slammed into the cushioned seat. The body under my hand went limp. Gray eyes staring up at me. Red veins crawling across them.
"I…." I quickly backed away. Revolver dropping onto the floor mat with a thump. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean – I'm sorry. I'm sor – "
I knew what a held up finger meant and instantly my jaw snapped shut. Not another word out of me. In a voice that wasn't mine.
Valeriy coughed a couple of times, still holding up a finger to me. Her body twisting away. "Sparks, get your ass back in the car and fucking drive. This looks weird as shit. We don't need the eyes."
The older woman was standing outside. Arms and legs poised for attack. The stance of a seasoned fighter. She had to shake out her nerves, tentatively lowering herself back into the driver seat. Eyeing me the whole time as she pulled off the shoulder of the highway.
"Ignore her," Valeriy stated. Be it to me to ignore the driver or to the brunette to ignore me… since I was still disguised.
She pushed off of the armrest compartment between the front seats, settling on the seat on my right. Gently adjusting me so I'd face her.
"Keep your eyes on me, 'kay?"
Left hand tangling in my hair to keep me from watching the other woman.
"Sparks is okay. We can trust her. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. We shouldn't have shouted like that. I'm sorry. If you're comfortable with Sparks, we can remove…."
Her right hand gestured all around me. The left scratching along my scalp. Keeping me grounded.
"I've met her before." Still wasn't my voice.
"What?"
"I've met her before," I repeated, barely able to push the words out. Head nodding towards the driver seat.
"I would have remembered meeting someone like you," the older woman stated. Stress high in her voice.
The way she held herself. The way she tensed up. The way she fell into a fighting stance. I've seen it all before. On a fiery ginger with brown eyes. With all they did to disguise me, it wouldn't be hard for the brunette to change her appearance into another race. Habits were another story.
The A.I. ghost… she planned this all out. Since before 85 days ago. When I met her. In a library. Teaching me how to use the computers. Letting the A.I. ghost lead me to that park. To Valeriy.
Maybe even the homeless young man by the fire had been part of all this. The one who told me of the soup kitchen, the shelter… and the library. 87 days….
"I'm sorry," the young woman whispered, pulling in closer to me. "I'm sorry for everything. Eve… she should have never…. I'm sorry."
"You trust her?" I questioned, watching Valeriy turn her attention onto the other woman.
The carefree lightness to her gone. She wasn't even pretending anymore. Exhausted. The blonde wig still hanging off her hair.
It was like she was far away. Somewhere I couldn't reach. Even if she was right in front of me. Even if her hand was still tangled in my hair.
"I'm not going to turn you in unless that's what you want and ask that of me, Val," the driver cut in. "…But I can't speak for the other Puppets."
"…Yeah," Valeriy nodded. "I trust her not to fuck us over. But she'll high tail it if you lash out her way."
"She has better self-preservation instincts than you do," I chided.
She should have ran. So many times, she should have ran.
Her shoulders gave a shrug. "Eh. Struggling seemed like a bad idea?"
With a drifting thought, I pawed the white sheet off my face, trying to get the sticker off my throat until Valeriy removed it for me.
"You!?" the driver gasped. Panic clear in her voice. "Val, he's – !"
"Shhhh," the younger woman hushed, fingers quickly combing through my hair again. "Sparks, why are you screaming? Dial it down a few notches, would you?"
Twisting her grip around the wheel, the driver grumbled under her breath in another language. One I couldn't understand.
I couldn't help the anxiousness when the A.I. ghost replied with similar syllables. If not for the fingers kneading the base of my skull, I'd have thought I was trying to wake from ice. In a new place. Surrounded by people speaking a foreign language.
Valeriy pulled a smile on her lips, gathering the dress on me in her hands and pulling it over my head. She leaned over my shoulder, her finger hooking into the suit at the back of my neck and tugging down along my spine.
The tight pressure around my torso released. Cool air flowing against my skin where the suit parted from me.
Desperately I took a deep breath, letting my chest expand as far as it could.
It felt amazing.
Almost as if I could fly.
By the time my surroundings came back to mind, a blanket was hung up by two hooks separating me from the front of the car, and judging by the rustling lump on the floor, Valeriy had set up a makeshift compartment for me to get out of the suit. Without eyes on me. Without eyes on the arm and the mess it's attached to.
"Sparks…?" Valeriy called out softly.
"What?" the older snapped in the middle of the A.I. ghost talking in her ear.
"I'm sorry… for the whole threatening to shoot you thing…."
A frown found its way onto my face as I stared at the large dress carelessly dropped next to me. It was the only other thing I could wear besides the suit or the blanket. The suit I needed to get out of. The dress covered nothing. The blanket… I would prefer clothing.
"You trust Eve to protect you, right?" the brunette questioned.
"To an extent. Only 'cause we adjusted her into being forced to do that without my parents knowing to counteract any of their weird ass orders that fucks with my safety…? Even then she's rather limited in her movements."
A tattooed covered hand lifted the bottom of the blanket and a pile of crumpled clothing was pushed onto the seat. Clothing she had pilfered from the closet of the room I occupied for the past month.
"Eve says that you're lucky you're not wearing an earbud," the driver must have translated. The raving madness spewing from her ear. "Saying a lot of things that the guy next to you probably shouldn't hear."
Took me a total of nine seconds to realize that I couldn't get out of the suit. Not on my own. With hands that couldn't grip the suit well enough to pull it off. Only managed to pop the shoulders out from the suit.
"Good thing I'm not near any fucking doors that can hit me…." Valeriy laughed and dropped a leather glove for a left hand on the pile of clothing. "Oh shit! Eve, don't crush me with a bloody seat!"
Winding myself with the gut of the suit from bending forwards too fast, I plucked Valeriy off the floor as the head rest could be seen brushing against the blanket. A nervous laugh rung from her.
"Thanks, Bucky." For a split second, she leaned into me. Head almost resting on my shoulder. Before she pulled away.
The smile didn't quite reach her eyes. But at least she managed to remove the blonde hair, though the braids were still coiled on her head.
"…I… I can't get out of the suit," I admitted, eyeing the seat as it returned back to place and hearing another conversation in the foreign language.
"Yeah, okay. That takes another pair of hands. Sorry. Slipped my mind," Valeriy mumbled, clamouring off my lap and ducking back under the blanket to the other side. Leaving a pair of hands blindly grabbing at the air in front of me.
I leaned into the hands. The moment they touched something, they felt their way up to my collar and grabbed the suit, tugging on it. Peeling it inside out. I quickly yanked my arm out and helped push it off the metal arm. That was covered in a layer of clear gunk.
"…I forgot I dumped a bottle of lube in there…. Sparks, do you have a towel in here?"
"Use the dress."
"'Kay. Wipe your arm off and lift your bum so I can pull the legs off."
"…Eve's still ranting…. I've only seen you and your brother able to get her so wound up."
"I honestly trust her to throw me under the bus to save you guys when shit hits the fan… which is why I can't let any of you bring me in. I can't risk an ambush. I don't think my body can handle much mor – Oof…."
Valeriy took a tumble when my legs got free and the car turned at the same moment. Surrounding us with trees. From the change in sound and the bumps, the car had gone off road.
'Where the hell is she taking us?' I wondered, slipping the shirt on as soon as I could. Barely bothering to get most of the lubricant off the arm and then immediately shoving it back into the glove. Out of sight again. Once my pants was on, I tugged down the hanging blanket. Folding everything into a neat pile. Trying not to look at the flesh suit that had been shoved in the leg space of the front passenger seat.
Made sure there was nothing on my right hand before I offered it to Valeriy. Pulling her up while watching her toss the pile of folded fabrics over the seat and into the trunk to clear the seat to my right.
She didn't pull her hand away and I didn't let go.
Even as the minutes passed. The silence heavy in the air. With no one relaxed.
Though my body still felt light from having the suit removed. Light and free. I wanted to run. Run as fast as I could. Until my legs screamed. To keep going. Never stopping. And maybe… just maybe… I could finally escape everything. All I've done. All I've become.
But I didn't want to let go of the hand in mine.
"Were you… were you the one who kept Hydra away in April and May?" I posed to the driver.
Valeriy's hand clamped down on mine. Whether in apology, I wasn't sure. I couldn't see her face. The black cloth blocked the window's reflection. A window she insistently stared at.
"You can answer him," the A.I. ghost said in the brunette's ear. "Val's rather insistent about getting answers he's looking for. He already knows more than he should."
"No," the older woman breathed out. "Eve only asked me to teach you the basics with computers…. Are you referring to that infernal jammer on you? I hated that thing. Felt blind without Eve in my ear."
"Why would you do something you hate? If you had a choice," I wondered aloud.
"Because everyone has a price," Valeriy huffed.
"For teaching you, I got pampered at Blackberry Farm for a week," the driver expanded, sounding much happier. "I can't think of another job that's better. This one takes me to places more beautiful than the mind can imagine. I have everything I could possible want and things I couldn't even imagine when I was a kid on the streets."
"On the streets?" I repeated.
"Mmm, I don't remember much of when I was young. My first memory was running through the streets of Muktsar, trying to get away from a shopkeeper I stole a samosa from…. Eve eventually found me and I went with her at the promise of food and shelter. What I got in return was a big family. She educated me in everything I wanted to learn. I know how to yodel and have absolutely no use for it."
"And all you have to do is do as she tells you?" I asked, trying to wrap my mind around this.
"No, we all follow our dreams. Eve helps make it happen. Not all of us stay with her or the Ayers. Sometimes she'll ask them to do something and pays them in trade if they agree to it. She doesn't stop supporting them either."
"They get paid however they want. I think one's paid in fucking mac and cheese?" Valeriy added.
"More specifically mac and cheese I make. Maxwell won't eat anything else. I can't believe he's not rolling from place to place…. It's a waste to squander Eve's resources like that. Given enough time, she can make a lot happen."
"Each to their own."
"This can't be real," I stated. Completely baffled.
Valeriy squeezed my hand, still refusing to move her gaze from the window. "Eve makes her own money and what she does on her own time that doesn't cause a mess for the cooperation, they don't care. Actually this helps it. So they let her collect a bunch of kids to helicopter over."
"I am not a helicopter parent."
"…Sure…. Anywho, it's a lot easier learning through Eve's methods since she figures out how best you learn or finds great teachers…. Learned a lot of random stuff through her. Like basket weaving. No clue why I bothered to learn that…."
"Then the people who delivered the food to the house were raised by her?" I asked.
"I doubt it? Probably just random people Eve was trading with. They have no fucking idea what the hell they're doing or what they're carrying. Should be a network of people buying, then a series of passes before the box got to us?"
'She's everywhere.'
The A.I. ghost's everywhere.
'She can turn anyone….'
They didn't know why but they still….
I didn't know but I still….
Everything according to her plan.
"Val?" the driver called out.
"Hmmm?"
"What if you were supposed to be kidnapped?"
The fingers I held twitched.
"Huh?" She was buying time, slowly turning her head to stare at the back of the driver's. "What would be the bloody point of that?"
A misdirect. It's crossed her mind.
"Wouldn't this whole thing be over by now if you got taken and the ransom was paid?" the driver pointed out.
"…Have we ever paid for a ransom before?"
"…Not in the years I've worked…."
"…So why the hell would I wait for something that would never fucking happen? It's an utter waste of my time. Got better shit to do."
"It made sense that they didn't when you got yourself disowned, but they did get me to make sure you weren't killed."
"The grudge clinging part of me wants to logic that away as it looking bad if their kid turned up dead. Oh, our daughter was too dumb and got maul by a fucking bear in the middle of a city. Or some shit. Then again, cougars were more common around there…."
"…As harsh as that was, they do love you, Val."
"Yeah, I fucking know that…."
"We're the first ones to mobilize if one of you guys get taken… or trapped. A few months after your thing, we got your mom out nice and safely before anything happened to her. Hey, wasn't your brother taken before too? Before my time."
"Yeah?"
"Didn't they pay for that?"
"No? He didn't give anyone a chance to do anything. Blew up the fucking house he was holed up in and walked right out."
"That was a mess to clean up."
"It's what happens when you leave a kid with a bunch of explosive chemicals. What were they fucking expecting? Thumb twiddling? Bloody dumbasses."
"…I… I don't thin…. I…. How is that even expec…? Val…? I don't eve…. That's not normal," the driver finally managed to get out, putting a voice to my thoughts.
From among the trees, a car came to view. Even though it was empty, the metal fingers clenched in nerves.
What was it doing there? And why was she slowing down? Pulling up to the empty vehicle.
A soft sigh escaped Valeriy. Her fingers slipping out of my grip. Her gray eyes finally looking my way. Again, she seemed so out of reach. Even if she was sitting next to me. The smile she tried to pull was completely forced.
"This is my stop," she stated softly. The words cutting into me like knives. Her eyes dropping away as she turned. "Maybe we'll see each other someday again? I sure hope we do."
With that, the door opened and she moved onto her feet, out of the car. Backpack in hand.
"Val – "
Frantically I reached out. Before I knew what I was doing, my fingers clutched onto the back of her lacy jacket and tugged.
Hard.
I quickly let go, but it was too late.
A thud shook the vehicle. Her body toppling onto the floor mats.
"Sorry. I didn't – I'm sorry. Please don't – I'm sorry I'msorry I'msorryI'msorrysorrysorrysorrysorryso – "
" – ucky. Look at me. Bucky. Come on. Breathe with me."
I couldn't. My chest felt more constricted than it did inside the suit. Panic welling up inside. Suffocating me.
A choking gasp stretched my lungs for a moment before it left far quicker.
The next breath was just as much of a struggle. Too shallow. The world spinning away with it.
I could barely understand the hands on me weren't threatening. Barely feel that they weren't hurting me. Just soothing touches. One on my cheek and other on the middle of my chest.
Slam head into knee. Target incapacitated.
Took everything I had not to fight her off.
Over my thundering heartbeat. I could hear it. Hear her voice. Too far away for the words. But I could hear her. The darkness in my sight clearing enough at my gasp. To see her shoulders' exaggerated movements.
Breathe. She wanted me to breathe.
"There we go. Just like that. Nothing's going to happen to you, Bucky. I'm not hurt. Just a little bump. Everything will be okay. Sparks will take you to Gramps. Second safest location we have. He'll make sure nothing will happen to you."
"You?" I tried, eyeing the car behind her. "What about you? You're going alone?"
"Sparks isn't safe around me, but she's wicked fast on her feet. Best person Eve has. So if Hydra pops up again, you'll have an advantage on your side rather than a handicap. And you're safest once you get to Gramps. No one can touch you once Gramps knows you're alive. Between him and the Captain, what happened to you won't repeat. Me, Eve and the Puppets, we're all counted under Gramps' resources. Amber, sort of, too. I'll talk her into helping with the whole Hydra thing."
Her finger tapped at my temple, referring to the mess inside my skull.
"Who would protect you?" I couldn't help but ask, trying to buy time.
"I should be okay in Canada. I have a lot more personal resources here. If you want to contact me, tell Eve. She'll get us in touch safely. Any time. Don't even need a reason, 'kay? I'll answer."
I shook my head. I didn't want this. This wasn't right. She shouldn't be the one going off alone. I didn't want her to go.
I wanted to reach out. Hold on to her. But I couldn't. I'd hurt her again.
Everything I touch breaks.
Her body dropped against mine. Her arms wrapping around my ribs tightly. Her head resting against my neck.
I couldn't think.
This was so familiar.
For just a second.
Before it was as foreign as the world I was currently left in.
"You don't have to stay there. You're free to go wherever you want. Free to do whatever you want. Though I do suggest letting us help you out with the brain thing. Amber's one of the best…. And you'll have fun with Gramps. I'll make sure he doesn't go all ten year old kid on you. He's really into space too. He can show you a bunch of cool things, and there's a bunch of Becky's art pieces there."
My hand itched to move. To where. I did not know. Why my head wanted to rest against hers…. I did not know. Had to will myself not to grab her when she pulled away. Not to reach out when she tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
"Besides, Eve owes you a fuckton. Gramps would… probably most definitely throw a fit when he finds out all the shit she pulled on you. She can make a lot happen. She can get whatever you want. Find someone to teach you whatever you want. Eventually, you can use her to go wherever you want. Sparks will explain it. Just ask her and she'll do it."
With those words, Valeriy slipped out of the car.
"Bye, Bucky."
I couldn't help the flinch at the finality of the door slamming shut. Left here alone. With a stranger. To be watched at all times by a voice in the speakers.
"…Why are you still standing outside of the car, Sparks?" the young woman questioned, resting a hand on her hip.
"How is he not dangerous again?" the driver responded in what should be a whisper, leaning over the car roof as if that would help mute my enhanced hearing. But I couldn't recall when she moved or even when the door shut.
"He's not," Valeriy hissed back, copying the driver.
"…We need to go over the definition of dangerous. He's terrifying."
"Oh come on. He's not."
"Then explain why you're wearing three casts. I bet there's more than that."
"I don't know? Maybe a fucking car crash had something to do with it?"
"…You were in the D.C. mess…?"
"…You'll be fine. You're Jiya fucking Sparks. No need to be so jumpy. I've been more of a problem for you than he will be."
"You can't even punch your way out of a paper bag compared to him."
"Eh. I got other ways to escape a bloody paper bag…. I leave him in your capable hands. Get him to him to Gramps without anyone knowing."
"I don't want to be skinned by D'amour. I know the drill."
"My parents can't find out either. Which means, nobody knows."
"Understood."
"See you when this shit storm blows over."
"Keep your head on a swivel, Val," the brunette warned, slipping into the driver seat.
As the car rolled away, Valeriy gave a final wave. Wearing that smiling mask before turning to the other car.
I couldn't tear my eyes away from her. Climbing onto the seats to stare out of the rear windows. Through the dark fabric.
For a moment. For a just a moment before she was swallowed up by the trees, her feigned confidence broke. Shoulders sagging. Looking so defeated.
"Would you like an update on Hydra's movements?"
"…."
"…From what we've gathered, they've been fanning out from the States searching for you after the other night. They seem to be banking on you heading to Europe some time. They have more men there."
"…."
"Either way, it should be smooth sailings until we reach the Genevan H.Q. and then we'll be adapting the shinobi's way until we reach Cupcakes."
"…."
"You should have piloting experience, right? I'll let you fly my jet when we're over the ocean… if you want…?"
"…."
"Or I can shut up and do my job…."
Better this way. Better the further she was away. Safer that way. Safe from Hydra…. From me….
Less chance of me hurting her if she wasn't in reach. Less chance of me killing her if we weren't in the same country.
Better this way….
.
.**.
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.