~~LoLu~~

Chapter 10

~~LoLu~~

"Loke?"

He flinched at the sound of Lucy's voice; she sounded scared, and she had good reason to be – she just didn't know it yet.

Damn it all to hell, where do I even start?

Meeting her gaze with a wince, he paused when he noticed a very specific kind of dread in her eyes. Or does she already suspect...?

"Just tell me!" she finally shouted. "Why do I feel so very different in my own body? I feel... an echo in my heart, and there's a strange, indescribable something flowing just beneath my skin. What's happened to me?!"

He was forced to shove his hands in his pockets to keep them from doing what they really wanted to do, which was reach out and grab her up into his arms. Not only would Lucy kill him if he did, he was pretty sure she'd kill him again because he was touching her in front of the spirit king and Crux, who was still in the room, snoozing away in a corner. He really wasn't looking to get dead, so it was safer to keep his hands as far away from her as possible.

"I think you already know what's happened, Princess," he finally muttered, watching her with eyes that were far too shrewd – but also sad. "You're just scared of acknowledging it."

She looked stricken at his words, devastated. He could clearly see that she wanted to run and hide from the massive truth now weighing her down.

But this was Lucy. And Lucy Heartfilia didn't hide from the truth, good or bad. He'd momentarily forgotten that. His admiration of her surged, and in direct correlation his opinion of himself dropped – he adored her indomitable strength, but in many ways it awed him and left him feeling unworthy of her.

"H-how did this happen?" she finally whispered, her eyes on her lap as she stared into a far away place where Loke couldn't follow, even with their bond.

He instantly despised that realization – he didn't like being locked out of anything to do with her.

"It was... a combination of things, apparently. Things no one knew to take into account, because circumstances like this have never happened before."

"So explain these circumstances, Loke," Lucy demanded tartly, and he glanced at the spirit king, who had thus far been silent. "Stop trying to beat around the bush."

He sighed. "Seirei-o said the bottom line is that this happened mostly because of who you are - a daughter of the Heartfilia line. No other celestial mages in history have had an entire bloodline that were all stellar wizards save for yours. And you're the culmination of the line, the most powerful of them. With an entire bloodline devoted to summoning celestial spirits and working with our magic, it seems your energy was already on the verge of becoming the same as ours... and giving you the stardresses and-" Loke looked away guiltily now, unable to hold her gaze to actually see the moment she realized that it was his fault and started to resent him, "-what I did to free you of the darkness of that bastard Delenn, just kind of... pushed your power over the edge, and forced your body to complete the change."

It was silent for long moments as Lucy just stared at him; even though he was unable to bring himself to actually meet her gaze, he could feel hers pinned on him like a burning brand pressed to his skin.

"And no one knew this would happen?" Because of who I was born as, I was basically destined to become this way. All that time... I was barely human, and now I'm not human at all. It was a frightening realization to come to, after spending your whole life believing you were.

Crux spoke up then and answered that one, to Loke's momentary surprise – he'd forgotten his orders to the constellation of the Southern Cross earlier – and gratitude. He needed a few moments to attempt to regain his equilibrium – this was even harder than he'd already known it would be.

"No. As Leo-sama has said, no other celestial mages in history have been part of a bloodline like yours, so there were no precedents at all. However, I did find something interesting. At least a few mages have theorized that such a thing as becoming a celestial spirit by slowly immersing yourself in spirit energy is possible. It has never been more than a theory, though, that is quite clear from my research."

Lucy laughed a little hysterically at that. "No, of course not. It's just my luck that I ended up being the guinea pig for something like this. Oh, gods," she moaned, dropping her head into her hands and rocking back and forth as she tried not to completely lose it. Anxiety, and a sense of inevitability, welled up inside her. "Oh, gods. What am I going to do? How do we fix this?"

"Fix it?" Seirei-o boomed, causing the young woman to lift her head and look up at him. "If by that you mean 'return you to your mortal form', then we do not. There is no 'fixing' the matter. Your energy has been permanently altered - it can never be altered back without immediately killing you. You will never be mortal again."

Just about ready to start hyperventilating, the blonde's frightened and overwhelmed gaze darted from him to Crux, and then to Loke, as if almost hoping they were pulling her leg and would yell, "Just kidding," at her at any moment. But those hopes crumbled when she got to the lion's downcast features and read the truth there. He still wouldn't look at her, and suddenly understanding why despite her own preoccupation, she forced it aside in favor of trying to comfort him – because his hurt made her hurt worse. She only ever wanted him to be happy.

"Look at me, Loke," she whispered, knowing he would hear her despite the lack of volume. When he tentatively met her gaze, she shook her head at him. "This isn't your fault, so stop thinking that way right this minute. If even Seirei-o didn't know this would happen, how could you?"

"I didn't," he hastened to assure her. "But... but if I hadn't exposed you to my power the way I did, it wouldn't have happened. I-"

"If you hadn't, I would be dead now. No matter what, I'm grateful that you saved me," she said, eyeing him sternly. "And even if all that hadn't happened, it seems that I... I would still have ended up this way, it just would have taken longer. So... so stop looking like your best friend just died-" she winced as she realized what she'd just said, considering the current conversation, but continued on anyway, "-and as guilty as though it were your fault. You really have to stop taking responsibility for everything that goes wrong. You did the same thing before, with Karen's death, and I won't have you doing it now."

"Lucy-sama is correct, Leo-sama," Crux said a little ponderously. "This situation cannot in any way be construed as your fault."

Still feeling responsible no matter what anyone said, though on a purely intellectual level he knew they were correct and he wasn't, nonetheless Loke didn't argue, not wanting to upset his mistress any further.

However, when she moved to get out of bed he was once more instantly by her side and tutting disapprovingly at her. "Lucy, you shouldn't try to get up yet," he protested softly. "You're doing better, but it's going to take a little longer before you've completely healed. Until then, you're probably going to feel weak and somewhat tired, and I don't want you pushing yourself – it won't help anything."

She shook her head stubbornly at him, needing to get up and move around. If she stayed in that bed one more minute she was going to start screaming. (Though it was very comfortable, even more than her own bed.)

"I can't stay still right now, Loke. I'll lose it if I do. I've got to move around," she replied, trying desperately to keep her tone even so he wouldn't know just how close she really was to 'losing it' and screaming her head off. She wasn't entirely successful, a tiny waver shaking her voice just enough for the others in the room with her to notice, and the lion just wanted to cry with how hard she was obviously trying not to.

But he understood how she was feeling somewhat; after all, the same thing had happened to him, just in reverse, and for three long years he'd thought he'd die without ever seeing his spirit friends or his home again. And so, reluctantly he stepped back and let her get up, though he hovered close by in case she wasn't able to stand yet and started to fall.

He was a little surprised when she seemed fine, standing with no apparent trouble and beginning to pace as she deliberated on what she'd been told.

"She is fine, Leo," Seirei-o murmured, glancing at him with some amusement. "I told you I would assist her healing, and I did just that."

Oh. That's right, he thought as he watched his mistress, glad she wouldn't have to go through what he had. I won't have to watch her suffer anymore physical pain, anyway. That's... that's something, at least. Now if I could just find a way to make her life perfect so she never had to deal with any emotional pain, that would be great.

He wasn't that foolish, though. He was well aware that wasn't possible.

His attention was pulled back to the spirit king when he spoke again. "Do you have any questions about this matter, old friend?" He wondered for a moment why he was asking him that, then flushed slightly when he realized Seirei-o was actually speaking to Lucy, not him.

She had paused in her pacing as the king spoke to her, and nodded after a moment. "Um, so I'm a-a spirit now, but... what does that really mean?"

A little taken aback at her phrasing, and not entirely certain he knew what she was asking, he repeated, "Mean?"

"Well, yes. I mean, aren't all spirits tied to a constellation? But I'm not... so how can I be a spirit?"

"Ah," the king rumbled. "Now I perceive what you are asking. You are associated with a constellation, a water sign."

"Eh?" Lucy said blankly, surprised. "I am? Which one?" Oh, please, don't let it be something to do with Aquarius... she'll torture me, was all she could think.

"You are Eridanus, the river of the heavens. In this realm, your true name will forever be Eridanae. It is a strong sign, one capable of healing and also battle magic."

"Oh," she breathed, feeling her anxiety ratchet up another notch. The longer this discussion continued, the more it was sinking in that this was really happening. She felt trapped. "If I'm a silver key-"

She was interrupted before she could get any further. "The river of the stellar realm has no key at all. Eridanus is too valuable to this world to be tied to any mortal in such a way. As Leo and I already agreed, it would not be a good thing for you to have a key, anyway. It would only lead to a disaster for the entire celestial realm."

"But didn't the river already have a spirit of its own?"

"No. Not every constellation does." Then the king's expression went a little sly, and he added, "What will be Leo Minor, for instance. At least not yet," with a meaningful smirk at the lion and glance at Lucy.

Loke had no trouble getting what Seirei-o was implying, and the tips of his ears turned a bit pink. Oh, if only! He had absolutely no problem with that idea whatsoever, his mind instantly going to exactly what sort of activities would be required for such a circumstance to have even a hope in hell of coming to pass.

"Why do I have the feeling I don't want to know what that was all about?" the young woman in question grumbled suspiciously, not having missed the exchange, nor Loke's slight flush.

"It's nothing! Nothing at all!" he insisted quickly.

Too quickly.

But the blonde hadn't been kidding – she really didn't think she wanted to know, because the spirit king had sounded a lot like he was being a pervert right then, and that was just way too much for her poor mind to take in. She knew it had to be pretty bad to get any kind of blush out of Loke, with as big a womanizer as he'd always been.

She hadn't blinded herself to his foibles just because she'd fallen in love with him, you see.

Lucy wasn't stupid. She'd gotten what the king was alluding to easily enough, that Leo might someday have a child that would become Leo Minor, but what she didn't understand was why the possibility seemed to disconcert him to the point of making even a hint of a flush appear on his fair skin. He probably hadn't really blushed in years.

It never occurred to her that it wasn't that the king was saying that he'd someday have a child of his own that had made him react that way, but at the implication – from his little glance her way, the one she hadn't noticed - that it would be with her. Why would it? She had always believed that she would never have a real chance with Loke. Of course, a large part of that was because she was mortal and he wasn't, but not all of it, by any means.

Though it also hadn't yet occurred to her in that particular context that she was no longer mortal...

Still eyeing him a little dubiously, she chose to let the matter slide with a disbelieving, "Uh-huh."

Seirei-o's gigantic, rather knowing chuckle followed that sound, and Lucy blushed, though she wasn't certain why. Perhaps it was because she realized that he was still thinking lecherous things, and just didn't know how to handle such knowledge.

"Are there any other questions for me?"

At that point, Loke broke in. He didn't really need to be around for all the explanations, and felt that he would be better off heading back to the guild and letting everyone know what was going on, and the ramifications of it. After all, it had already been a week there after just the couple of hours since he'd shown up here with the blonde, and he knew her friends had to be besides themselves with worry.

He was probably in for it when he got there, actually. Great. Just what I needed. More stress.

"Lucy, you and Seirei-o have things to discuss, and I really should go to the guild and let them know what's happened. I'm sure they're worried. Unless you need me to stay...?" he asked, meeting her wide eyes with concern.

She tensed, coming to a halt in her pacing, then deliberately gave him a shake of her head. "No, that's a good idea. I'll be fine. Tell everyone... that I said hello," she replied faintly as she wondered whether she'd ever get to see her friends on Earthland again. The thought choked her up and she was forced to clear her throat shakily and fight off the hot sting of tears. But she was afraid that if Loke realized just how upset she really was he'd refuse to leave her, and she didn't want to leave the rest of her... her former team so worried about her.

"Are you sure?"

A nod was his answer, and though he wasn't fooled by her attempts at keeping her disturbed emotions from him, he knew she'd be in the same state for probably some time to come, as she slowly accepted that her life had changed almost unrecognizably – and began to adjust to that knowledge, and her new circumstances.

"Okay. You know if you need me I'll be able to feel it and I'll come right back."

The young woman just nodded again with a slight, strained smile, unable to find her voice at the moment.

He inclined his head and then glanced at Crux. "Take care of our mistress until I return," he charged the constellation of the Southern Cross, and then faded out of sight before the archive master of the celestial world could answer.

Not that he really needed to.

~~LoLu~~

Loke wasn't particularly surprised to have a fist come flying at him before he'd even fully transitioned into the mortal world, nor that it was Natsu's. That didn't mean he was in the mood to put up with the hothead at this point, because he wasn't. His heart hurt too much to have the patience. He ducked, then reached over and halted the attack by the simple expedient of grabbing the fire mage's collar and scarf in one large fist and choking him off.

"Chill the fuck out, flame-brain," he snarled, stealing Gray's usual insult without blinking. "If you want to find out what the hell's going on, you'll sit down and shut the fuck up. Fighting with me isn't going to get you the answers you want, it's just going to piss me off. And I'm not in the damn mood to be kind to anyone that does." Then he shoved the pink-haired teen away and headed straight for the bar.

"I need a stiff drink, Kinana," the lion said as he sat down. He completely ignored the otherwise silent guildhall, not even paying any attention to Erza's stern expression as she, Gray, Natsu, and Happy surrounded him.

"What would you like?" the assistant barmaid asked softly.

"Honkaku Shochu, please," he decided. "Just bring the bottle."

"Yo, Loke, where's Lucy? Is she okay? What the hell's going on? Come on, man!"

The lion inhaled deeply, and then slowly let it out while inwardly he sought for control. After a moment, he said, "Lucy's awake now," tightly. "She's recovering. Now, if you know what's good for you, Gray, back off for a few. I really, really need a drink."

"We've been waiting for some time already," Erza stated evenly, eyeing him. "While we're glad to hear that she's okay, I really think you have a lot more to explain."

"Yeah!" Natsu growled. "We've been waiting while you've been with her for a week!"

"It wasn't a week in the spirit world, you moron!" Loke snapped, his voice dropping low and chilling everyone who heard it, and even had the dragon slayer mentally taking a step back. "It's been like an hour and a half, two hours tops. I had Lucy to take care of, and she was my priority, not you guys. On top of that, it wouldn't have done you much good if I'd turned around and come back before getting any answers to pass on. Now, I'm serious. Let me take at least a shot or two before you start on me, or I won't be held responsible for my actions."

"He is right, Natsu," Makarov said from a little further down the bar, and the celestial spirit glanced over at him with a nod of respect. "Leave him be, and we will the sooner get our answers."

The fire mage plopped down a couple stools over with a pout and ordered a fire whisky from Lisanna, who had come over to him the moment he'd done so. She patted his hand with a sympathetic smile and went to pour his drink.

It was quiet for several minutes as everyone surreptitiously watched the spirit at the bar immediately down two shots of alcohol like they were water, then pick up the bottle and pour himself another couple. Once he set it back down on the bar, Erza turned a rather demanding gaze on him, and Loke sighed, not looking forward to this conversation any more than he'd looked forward to the last one.

"First of all, what was happening to Lucy? You said that you'd seen it before. And then you grabbed her and vanished without any further explanation."

Eyes shadowed, the lion nodded before knocking back another shot. "When I was banished from the celestial realm and trapped here, I was slowly dying, as you all know. As a stellar spirit, my energy and the energy of this world aren't compatible, which is why a spirit can only stay here for so long before losing their life. What you saw happening to Lucy... is what was happening to me as I got closer to vanishing forever." He shivered at the memories, and then at being forced to see his very-much beloved mistress in such disarray, yet again.

"So that's why you grabbed her and took off that way," Cana said, slugging her own drink back.

Loke glanced down the bar at the brunette, and nodded. "Yeah. When I saw how fast the attacks – for lack of a better word – were coming, I knew there wasn't much time left. If I hadn't come when I did..." he sucked in a breath and shook his head, trying to rid his mind of the painful thought. It had been so close.

"Why didn't you know what was happening and come earlier?" Gray asked, his voice quiet as he watched his friend.

He hadn't forgotten the words the lion had roared at him inside that cathedral... that he loved the young woman, nor the fact that he'd proved it by opening up his heart's truest power and pouring it all out to save her. Sharing his power with Lucy in such a fundamental way was a very intimate thing, as they'd learned when they'd had Levy looking through the library trying to find out what was going on with their blonde friend. It was something that was never done unless there was a great deal of love on the spirit's part for the person in question.

The ice mage supposed he should have known that his friend was really in love with Lucy. He was always so sensitive to her, and he'd already suspected that the bond between the two went beyond a normal spirit and mage one. He just hadn't realized how far beyond, until the moment Loke had shouted his confession with so much anguish.

But that's what made it so surprising that he hadn't known something was wrong the moment the stellar mage had collapsed.

"She was blocking me off," he clenched his fist around the small glass in his hand for a moment with residual frustration at the thought, then poured himself another shot. "She knew something was wrong because she was in pain, although she didn't know what. But she didn't want to worry anyone, so she kept it secret. And since I was still exhausted from... clearing the darkness from her when she had me go back home, I pretty much crashed into my own bed and was out like a light for most of twelve or thirteen hours, my time. I'd only been awake for a few hours when I started feeling like something was off. Capricorn asked if it was Lucy, and that's when I noticed that the bond with her felt... subdued. Muted. I immediately came back to check on her, and you know the rest."

That explained it. "Dammit, Lucy," Gray mumbled. But it really wasn't surprising – that was the blonde woman all over. She hated upsetting anyone, and having them worrying over her was something she actively tried to avoid – no matter the cost to herself. Unfortunately, this time that cost had almost been her life. He sighed, and absently began removing his shirt as he took a seat next to his spirit friend.

His actions were halted a moment later by a hard smack to the back of his head and a glaring Erza's, "Keep your clothes on," and he cursed under his breath at himself before shrugging the shirt back on.

"Sorry."

Loke simply shook his head and took another drink. His friend just never changed.

"Humans can't stay in the spirit world anymore than spirits can stay here," a deep voice said, and everyone fell silent and looked at their master where he was seated on the bartop with his arms folded across his chest and his eyes closed.

"You're right," the lion replied.

"Then she is no longer human, as is apparent from what you said was wrong with her, and the fact that taking her to a place that humans cannot go has healed her." Makarov didn't say anything else, but he didn't really have to, as shocked exclamations and a babble of stunned voices broke out around the room.

Lifting his drink in only slightly mocking assent, Loke inclined his head to the guildmaster and then downed the shochu before saying, "Right again," and slamming the glass back down on the bar.

His reaction had everyone falling quiet just as he said that, and the sharp sound of the glass hitting the bar was rather loud in the ensuing silence as they all took in what had just been said... and the connotations of it.

~~LoLu~~

A/N: I know there's been a lot of talking going on the last few chapters, and there's another two or so of explanations and reactions, but I promise, other things are coming. The next chapter actually has one of the scenes I've enjoyed writing the most so far in this fic, and I hope you all will enjoy it, too. Glad to see that everyone is still excited to read this story, though I'm a little worried about FF dot net. I've been on this site since 2008, and this is the longest time its ever gone with a notifications glitch. Because I'm still not receiving any, so the only way I can see reviews is by actively looking for them on-site. Hopefully it will be fixed soon.