~~LoLu~~

Chapter 12

~~LoLu~~

Leo was forced to take a deep breath and compose himself before completely returning to Lucy and Seirei-o. He knew for them it had only been mere moments since he'd left, and that they were still talking, but now there were more questions to be asked – of the king, as well as his mistress herself.

But her pain hurt him, as well, and he knew she was in a great deal of it, no matter how hard she tried to hide it. It was wearing on him, leaving him feeling almost as exhausted as he had after he'd chased Delenn's darkness from her. Unfortunately, this pain was emotional, and no one could heal that for her. All he could do was be there by her side and help her through it as best he was able, as much as she would allow. And so he'd remain a silent shadow if that was what she needed and support her, no matter how hard it was, or how much it hurt him in the end.

Still, he also knew Lucy, and she had depths of strength that had never been plumbed. He had faith that she would recover, and step up to her new reality and responsibilities with a straight spine and pride in herself and her heritage... even if it had taken her old life away and forever changed her against her will.

Determination to support her through everything to come unfailingly settled firmly in place, he nodded to himself and then glowed his way back into his bedroom, making sure they knew he was coming. He didn't want to startle his mistress, she was fragile enough at the moment, and that would only make things worse.

"-feel like something is flowing beneath my skin, like I said earlier. I feel... so different. Is that because of being... Eridanus?" Lucy was asking, sounding rather hesitant, as though she didn't quite know how to verbalize what she was feeling.

Loke listened closely – he was also curious about what she had meant earlier when she'd said that same thing.

"Hm. I would imagine so," Seirei-o replied, looking thoughtful. "I cannot say for certain, never having been human. The sensation of something flowing strongly beneath your skin is an effect of being Eridanus, however. You cannot think like a human any longer. Your boundaries have opened up and the larger reality of universal consciousness has now become yours. You are that constellation, and your power and spirit flows through the celestial realm as the river flows through your very veins. You will understand much more after the Joining, old friend. There are some things that simply cannot be explained – they must be experienced."

Loke blinked. "The Joining?" he asked, echoing his mistress' own question. He glanced at her just as she looked at him, though she looked away quickly with a blush.

What was that about? he wondered, intrigued despite the seriousness of the topic currently under discussion. Then the king began to speak, and his attention returned to him... although he wasn't going to forget that soft flush and odd look, he was just setting the matter aside for later consideration at a more appropriate time.

Seirei-o chuckled at the two standing before him, looking at him with almost identical confused but curious expressions, and shook his head. Things were going to be getting very interesting around the celestial realm in the near future, he could already tell.

"The Joining," he began, "is something that has only happened twice before since the creation of the universe. It is only necessary when a constellation gains a spirit that was once human. I believe this one will be quite intense, since you are much more powerful than they are, and the constellation you have become is also. Speaking of which, it must be done now. Until it is completed you cannot leave the celestial world, and you will continue to feel unsettled and disconnected."

Two sharp inhales of breath met his words.

"You mean... I can go back home?"

Seirei-o frowned slightly. "This is now your home, Eridanae," he said, his voice going a little stern. "But like any other spirit, you can go to the mortal realm for short periods of time. Your old friends are not completely lost to you, though those relationships will never be the same, since you are no longer human."

"But how will she go to Earthland if she doesn't have a key and a summoner?" Loke asked, just as perplexed as Lucy appeared to be. I've never heard of this 'Joining' before. How could there be so much that I didn't know about my own reality?

Not having ever been human himself, he'd never needed to participate in such a... ceremony? Ritual? Frankly, whatever it was, this whole thing was giving him a headache, trying to take in everything that had happened and that he was now learning. He glanced guiltily at his mistress at that thought... how much more frightening and bewildering this must be for her, and yet here he was, thinking about himself and his own disturbed and muddled mental state. He instantly felt shamed.

"Can you not force your way into the mortal realm? I said that Eridanae does not have a key – not that she does not have a gate," the giant spirit rumbled, and Leo blinked as he took in that answer, his attention arrested.

That was true enough, he thought, as he looked back at the conversation earlier between the three of them. But at the time he'd been so overwhelmed with other questions that hadn't even occurred to him.

A cold feeling in his hand reminded him of the smoothie Mira had sent for the blonde, and he blinked, surprised he'd forgotten he was holding it – and equally surprised she hadn't noticed him holding it. "Oh, uh, here," he began a little self-consciously, "Mira sent this for you, she said they help you calm down when you're stressed out," as he proffered her the glass. Dammit, how do you do this to me? No other woman has ever managed to muddle my head like you do. It's so hard to maintain my composure around you!

Lucy's eyes widened and filled with sparkles, and true to Mira's word she pounced him, immediately going after the smoothie like it was her last link to her lost humanity.

"Loke," she trilled after she took a nice, long slurp, "I could just kiss you for this! And Mira, too! Oh, this tastes so good," she moaned as she took another drink, not noticing as the lion's face suffused with color and his eyes went hot at her sounds of enjoyment. "This was just what I needed." Oh, yes, I really needed this. Yum! The young woman felt a little more grounded now, not quite so cut off from everything that had been her world, with the evidence that it still existed... for now.

But the vast difference in how time ran between the realms was something she could deal with later... right at the current moment it was just too much to think about on top of everything else.

She glanced over at Loke when he cleared his throat, and wondered why he looked flushed all of a sudden. She frowned. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked in concern, still sipping her smoothie.

Am I okay? What an interesting question. There were several ways he could answer that. He folded his arms across his chest as he weighed what he should say, but finally he chose the safe path. Riling her formidable temper at this point would not be healthy for him. "I'm fine," he replied - and then, completely unable to resist, he added with a wink, "But feel free to kiss me anytime you feel the urge, beautiful." That much should be safe enough, at least, he thought.

Both were torn from their little exchange by the booming laugh of the celestial king, and even Leo couldn't help but blush at Seirei-o's knowing expression. Dammit, I forgot he was there again! Focus, you stupid flirt! You can think about her and kissing and.. other things... later. Yeah, later. Definitely later.

He cleared his throat again and prompted, "So Lucy has to complete this 'Joining'. Why have I never heard of that before? You said it's happened two other times."

The king inclined his head. "Yes. However, you had not been born at that point. That's why you don't know."

"Uh... born?" Lucy asked curiously, unable to help herself. It was kind of helping her to focus on other things than her own situation, and she had to admit, she was learning more about the celestial realm than she'd ever thought she would. And since it was a subject that had always fascinated her... she wouldn't turn away the chance to learn more.

She snorted inwardly, peeved at the fates when that thought registered. I guess I'm going to be learning a lot more than I'd ever thought to – in a much more personal way, too.

"Yes, born. When the last star that makes up a constellation comes into existence, if it is powerful enough, it sparks a consciousness to also come into being at that same moment. This is how a celestial spirit is born. But when the consciousness is sparked instead by a human soul I must become involved, so the process is a little different – though essentially the same, in that the merging of spirit and constellation is exactly as intense and complete. You will be just as much a celestial spirit as Leo or any of the others, the different manner of your birth meaning nothing at all."

Lucy blinked. "Oh." Then she glanced over at a so-far silent Loke, and blinked again at the rather bewildered expression on his face. So I guess these were things he didn't even know. Huh, echoed repeatedly through the sudden white-out in her mind.

She struggled her way through it and forced a question out.

"Um... so... it sounds like the Joining is basically the way a human spirit is birthed into the stellar world."

Seirei-o looked pleased. "Quite so. And that is why we must go now, for the river is about to be born into the fullness of her power, and renew and replenish all of the heavens. I will summon the rest of the celestial realm to witness it. This is a good day for our world," he finished, actually sounding quite happy.

"Go... where?" the blonde asked, feeling a large swell of trepidation, but also, oddly, a strange yearning and a pull – as if she were being beckoned somewhere. She put a hand to her heart – the void she'd felt in it since waking had begun to pulse, almost as though in expectation. It ached.

"To Eridanus. We go to the river and gather along its banks," Seirei-o said in a suddenly much more vast voice, one that echoed throughout the celestial realm. "The time has come, one who was once Lucy Heartfilia, for you to take your place in the heavens."

He paused, then added... "If you've finished your drink?" in a more normal tone.

The disconnect between dire and slightly humorous froze her and she looked dumbly down at the now-empty glass in her hands as her mind ran in warped little circles and screamed. She felt detached from herself, one side terrified to death, and the other dazed. I guess this is what it's like to be in shock, she thought remotely. And then it all began to crash in on her, and she started to hyperventilate.

Wide eyes turned from the cup to look at Loke, who immediately responded to the panic beginning to manifest in them and was instantly at her side.

"It's okay, Lucy, just breathe," he murmured soothingly as he took the glass from her and tossed it off onto a convenient side table, pulling her gently into his arms. "Just breathe. I'm here with you, and I'll always be here with you."

Shaking with the fear of fully letting go of her now-questionable humanity, she could do little more than nod as he tried to calm her, the pull in her heart and the feelings swirling through her along with the panic rendering her momentarily speechless, unable to articulate her state of mind. She couldn't even bring herself to care about the presence of the celestial king, who was watching them with unfathomable eyes.

In that few seconds time slowed; she clung to the only safe haven she had left and trembled like a leaf.

"Promise me," she whispered through a tight throat. "Promise me you'll never leave. I don't think I could take it if you did."

He clutched her closer. I'll never leave you, Lucy. Never. I will be by your side forever.

"I promise."

He felt a click and then a sensation of something sliding into place like a key into a lock, and knew she had accepted his vow – and would hold him to it.

The thought pleased him greatly. Now they would ever be tied by bonds too strong to break.

Lucy clung harder to the only thing she had left that also had ties to her world... her former world, her mind echoed mournfully. She'd never felt so alone as she did in that moment, and if it weren't for the man she was held so securely against, she'd have flown apart into a million pieces. As it was she felt shattered, her psyche fragmented and tossed to and fro.

In everything that had happened, she'd lost herself.

Who am I, really?

But as much as she fought it, she couldn't deny the call of the power that was beckoning to her, and she found that she knew exactly where she needed to go. The knowledge pulsed gently inside her, just beneath her heart. It was like an alien consciousness within her, yet so oddly familiar, as if she'd known it somewhere before. Maybe she had. At this point, she wouldn't discount anything.

Her fingers clenched in Loke's suit jacket, and she drew in a deep breath. It was time to face what her future had become – she could no longer hide from it. Closing her eyes for a second outside of time – standing in the exact center of her own proverbial moon bridge - she allowed herself to mourn her past.

A single tear slipped down her cheek in response... and then she shut it all away and forced herself to move forward.

She opened her eyes and slowly (and rather reluctantly) pulled away from her safe harbor and smiled at him with an aching sadness. "I guess we'd better go then, huh? No getting out of it."

Loke searched her eyes, another jagged tear opening on his heart at the wounded but resolute look in them as her lower lip trembled. She was so precious when she was trying to be strong. She seemed so tiny and fragile, though he knew she wasn't – she was fierce. It was an odd dichotomy, such a strange melding of two opposites, and yet so very enticing. Her nature had always drawn him, from the very first time he'd seen her. It had called to his own feline nature, what with its inherent sensuality and hidden passion.

It always would.

He smiled softly for her, despite what it cost him, and said, "It'll be alright, you'll see," encouragingly.

Lucy nodded solemnly, something delicate but so very enduring growing in her gaze as she looked up at him. Trust. "Okay," she replied in a small but determined voice. "I'm ready."

It was only her faith in him that let her say that and mean it.

He tilted his head to her, his smile widening a little as he began to fade away. "Then I'll see you there, beautiful."

With a final deep inhale, Lucy closed her eyes and let herself fall backwards into eternity.

~~LoLu~~

It was a strange feeling, an odd duality, being engulfed in power and formed of it, and yet with her human consciousness still there. But she could sense the otherworldly, foreign presence that had been crying out from within her since waking now reaching up to enfold her in its frigid heat, and could do nothing to fight it. It was far too strong.

She felt like a phantasm, not real and yet more real than life itself, storm-tossed but calm, weak yet more powerful than creation. She raced through the fabric of the universe, one with it and apart in the same instant – which lasted mere seconds and forever.

In the end, there were no words. Language had never been meant to describe such a fundamental and sacred reality.

Light-years ahead a great swell of power grew ever higher, more joining it as all the constellations of the heavens that had a consciousness flocked to the banks of the great celestial river she could finally see, as eternity dawned in kaleidoscope colors over it. A stellar wind increased the swells making the surface choppy, magic curling off of it as it spread out and surged through the skies. It was glorious and so profoundly warm, utterly unlike anything she'd ever imagined, every color she'd ever seen and ones she had no name for illuminating the waters.

Just as she reached a point above the river's horizon, a bright arc of blue-white light flashed from it and crashed into her. She screamed, her consciousness expanding in a torrent of lambent fire. Her eyes closed in something just this side of agony as it enfolded her, and she let go of herself, of who she'd always been.

There was nothing of humanity in her in that moment, not even the memory of it. Instead, that alien something inside her was everything that she was, and she could feel the tendrils of the river's power sending a deluge of magic throughout the realm as the last star in her exploded into life. The beam of racing light that was what had once been simple Lucy Heartfilia narrowed and lengthened.

But despite the heat of her own newfound glory there was still that empty pulse inside her heart, a space that was calling to her with a voice more profound than any she'd ever heard – though it wasn't really an audible sound, rather something so deep as to be felt in a more fundamental way than mere sound ever could be.

And then words ran through her mind in lines of fire, and she spoke them without even thinking as the signatures of power from every gathered spirit continued to swell ever higher with exaltation.

"Achernar, Kursa, Acamar, Zaurack, Rana, Sadira, Theemin, Sceptrum. Azha, Beid, Rabah Al Nahr, Keid, Angetenar, Zibal. By the light of the stars of Eridanus I am born and made whole. Complete in aspect and mind now am I, one with the stellar realm and bound by its laws."

Power coiled and snapped, bleeding outward from the spectacularly glowing river, from one end of it to the other. Lines shot from Achernar in the south to the last star in the north, all eighty-seven major and minor stars of the river burning with a new fervor as her consciousness arced and flitted across the crashing waves that raged across her surface.

Suddenly, just as the final line of the constellation fell into place, all the power sucked back into her in a flashing lightening storm and vanished as though pulled into a black hole. It was the most painful thing she'd ever experienced, and it seemed to last forever. The celestial realm went dark, and Eridanae floundered, frighteningly cut off from herself and frigidly cold for several endless-seeming seconds...

Light opened back up within her and exploded outwards from the river, sending power crashing through her and the skies with potent and life-giving force.

It was then that Seirei-o took her in hand and sealed her bond to the laws she'd just accepted as her own. As he did, the void* that had existed within her heart slowly began to fill, sheer, intoxicating magic unlike anything she'd ever tasted ascending warmly inside it.

Am I... everything and everywhere or nothing and nowhere? It was a distant thought, a remote reverberation that barely skimmed the surface of her mind. Nonetheless, it was a valid question at that point in time, because she felt connected to everything and yet more tightly focused as a singular being than she ever had as a human.

Slowly, ever so slowly the magic dimmed in a rather strange manner, not fading, but almost seeming to blossom instead. Tendrils reached out from her being, and with a suddenness that shocked her, the reality of all the other constellations sharpened and snapped into place inside her. Her power had reached out to them all and was renewing them, augmenting their own life-forces. All across the cosmos aging stars brightened, new stars exploded into life, and nebulae formed as the creation of new stellar bodies quickened.

She understood now, what Seirei-o had meant about her birth bringing new life and power to the celestial world.

She could feel all her spirit friends if she just looked inside herself, connected as she was to them as she shared her life-giving and renewing power with everything across the realm. But strongest of all she could feel Leo, his awareness glowing and entirely unique from all the others. Deliberately she reached out to him with her power, giving him more, all her emotions for him surging inside her. They colored everything she did in those eternities spent forging the bonds that Joined her to herself and the rest of the stellar realm.

Love, vast, ancient, and pure rushed outward from her in a warm fire that engulfed the skies and all the spirits, a celebration of birth, life, and strength that rang from one end of the heavens to the other – then returned to engulf her in the heat of forever and the love of all the other heavenly bodies.

That sacred emotion really did make spirits stronger, just as Leo had told her.

The river glowed with joy, spreading that feeling throughout the heavens as the vow she'd spoken and all her being finally locked into place, irrevocable and unbreakable. Her power coiled around her and then settled almost gently inside her as she took a physical form once more.

Celestial water rose from the surface as she settled just above the waves and glowed golden, blue, and white, wrapping around and flowing continuously over her. To all the spirits she was absolutely beautiful as her eyes opened, their depths now filled with vistas of eternal stellar glory as light and the opposing night of the heavens whirled and dipped in a soaring dance within them.

The Joining was complete, and Lucy Heartfilia and Eridanae were now one and the same, inseparable and absolute – flawless and infinite.

I know who I am now...

I know.

~~LoLu~~

To Leo, his princess looked more regal than he'd ever imagined as she dawned above the river and glowed with the all the glory of the heavens, sending his heart into his throat. He was utterly in awe of her and what her birth into his world had done for it.

She was always beautiful... but now she's so much more - absolutely without compare. Of course, she already had been within his heart, her beauty made so in his eyes because of his love for her. But now... now there was nothing like her in the spirit world or the mortal one, every line, every dip and curve perfected as the waters of the river flowed over her like a living gown, clothing her in celestial splendor.

He'd felt what she'd done, giving him more of her power than anyone else, and he felt stronger than he ever had before, magic crashing through and burning him with amazing heat. He felt infinite, like he could take on whole armies and prevail with a mere thought. But above and beyond anything else, he felt her love for all of them, pure and unshakable – and far more immense and true than even he'd believed.

He was altogether humbled by her, filled with wonder. His love for her surged up within him like an uncontrollable tide in response, and he allowed all of it to skip through the link he felt to her, wanting her to feel his care, his adoration for her. He knew he might be giving himself and the truth of the manner in which he loved her away, but in that moment he couldn't really bring himself to care. Even if she didn't feel for him in the same way, he was in love with her and always would be. Her return feelings towards him had no influence on that at all.

But he still had hope. They were tied by bonds even tighter than what now held her to the celestial realm, his vow to always stay by her side and her acceptance of it something unbreakable and permanent. He knew she loved him, too... he just wasn't sure how she loved him.

Helpless to stop himself, he would do everything in his power to woo her, to win her heart. After all, he had time now, what with her new immortality. He smiled. Forever had never looked so promising.

What was that saying again? Hope springs eternal?

Truer words had never been spoken.

~~LoLu~~

A/N: Phew! That was one of the hardest chapters I've ever written! Trying to describe in words what I could see in my mind was an imposing task, especially since mere words could never really do it justice. But I think I did okay – I'm content with it, at least. And we got some rather important Loke/Lucy interaction, too.

For anyone that likes to listen to mood music while reading, I wrote this chapter to three AMAZING tracks that can be found on YouTube. Pantheon, by Sound Adventures, Phantasm, by Jesper Kydd, and Pluto Reborn, by James Paget. This chapter wouldn't have turned out nearly as well as it did without these epic compositions.

*The void I described in the heart of Eridanus exists. It is called the Eridanus Supervoid. It is a place approximately one billion light-years across where no stars, galaxies, or other stellar bodies are to be found. It is the second largest known Supervoid, only exceeded so far by one found in Canes Venatici.

All that said, I hope everyone enjoys this installment!