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Chapter 26: Valeriy Ayers - Not Them
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2014 07 09 21 58 + Mini van = Continuous left turn at 20 km/hr.
"Cass D'amour signing in. Taking over tactical. Anybody who wants blood speak up. The rest of you follow Gillespie's lead on rescue."
2014 07 09 26 13 + Mini van = Reverse at 50 km/hr.
"Tran."
"Roth."
"Sarkisian."
"Costa."
"Novikov."
2014 07 09 31 57 + Mini van = Straight at 10 km/hr.
"Tran. Hide in the closest room. Let the men pass – "
"I can do this!"
"What the hell are you doing!? Get into the damn room! NOW!"
"No! I can – "
"…."
2014 07 09 36 24 + Mini van = Right turn at 20 km/hr.
"Costa. Don't. You'll die trying to get to her."
"She's still alive, D'amour! I can't just – "
"She'll bleed out in a few more seconds. There's no need for you to die for her stupidity. You can collect her body after we deal with these assholes."
2014 07 09 40 42 + Mini van = Right turn at 10 km/hr.
"They've passed all of you. Take them out."
Gunfire filled the communications line until an explosion cut everything off.
"What just happened?"
2014 07 09 46 31 + Mini van = Straight at 100 km/hr.
'Finally,' I couldn't help but think when the formula told me to drive straight into a wall.
The fluorescent lights above could not be more homely compared to the tunnels. The process was no longer as fun and cool as it was almost ten years ago.
I left the borrowed car parked by the elevator, while I moved the boxes of food into the elevator.
"My eye! There's – There's something sticking out of my eye!"
"Gillespie?! Was that Gillespie?! What are we going to do without our medic!? Roth's bleeding out here!"
"Wait! Don't – !"
Explosion after explosion cluttered the line. Terrified screams of little kids mingled in between them.
"Stop run – !"
A box of frozen things went into the walk in freezer, another box went into the fridge, and a third went into the pantry. As for the last box, that went up with me. Lightest of the boxes.
The higher I got on the escalator stairs the louder the voices upstairs were.
" – swer is still no," one of them Eve's.
"You can't leave her defenseless," the other was Bucky's. Confused and irritated.
"She's safe here and the idiot's far from defenseless."
"She has professionals after her. Those people at the park 37 days ago and in Edmonton 5 days ago were special ops. She needs to learn how to protect herself if she's to stand a chance…. You've trained your assets, why not her?"
"She's…. I pulled Sparks from teaching her. I can easily stop you."
"Hydra knows about her!"
"Hydra's in the picture because of you."
'That's a low blow. You're the asshat who keeps bringing them back into the picture,' I thought, knowing well I couldn't ever speak the words. Not without Bucky blowing another gasket about how dangerous they are.
"I won't risk more of my children because she decides to throw a hissy fit. She's not worth it. She can survive on the wits she has now. She doesn't need more ways to kill."
I tapped the wall again, signalling for the stairs to continue moving upwards. Too lazy to get up onto my feet. "She's not wrong, Bucky," I said, feeling rather tired of everything. "I've been… quite the handful."
"But… you were so excited to learn…" he mumbled. His eyes dropped to a little section of floor in front of him. His lips almost set in an outright pout.
"I am. Just that I also know I have a particularly vicious temper? One bout of which ended up with a Puppet getting his neck broken… by me… and they were only trying to keep me alive through the bloody mess… I made…. He was only… he tried to stop me when I was trying to kill a dead body…?"
"All that because she found Amber in a state where she should be dead. Val's the one who decided the whole building should have their organs harvested as well. A broken neck would be the least of my worries if that repeated and she had proper combative abilities."
I never regretted a single life I took that night.
Until now.
Being under those big sad puppy eyes had me wishing I was a better person. Maybe I wouldn't be such a disappointment.
I knew there were people there who had nothing to do with what had happened to Amber. I knew that. But I blamed them all the same.
They let it happen.
I let it happen.
"…You shouldn't be the one teaching me, Bucky. You don't want to hurt people, and teaching somebody like me would be the exact opposite of that…."
My eyes dropped down to the box in my hand and my shoulder shrugged a tad.
"Do you… Do you still want your box of cinnamon buns?"
Still, his features were contorted with such conflict. Brows furrowed. Bottom lip bitten. Eyes lowered.
The light box of pastries couldn't be any heavier as I tried to push it onto the floor. The shake in my left hand. The twitch in my right. They weren't the reason why the box felt so damn heavy.
A double pat on the step I sat on, and Eve sent me back down.
"Dead bodies tend to pile around my family…. I'll give you space," I quickly said, rising onto my feet.
My legs took me downstairs faster than if it was only the stairs moving on their own.
Soteria was more than big enough for us to never cross paths in here. I could always move around during his hour of sleep. I could spend my days in my room. It'd be simple to never see each other.
Fingers wrapped around my arm just as my toes touched the last step. My heart almost escaped out my throat, but I couldn't stop the scream of surprise.
"Val, wait." Bucky kept his voice soft. "I…. I just…. Please don't go."
His grip tightened ever so slightly. Not nearly enough to block blood flow but enough to tell me to stay.
I could easily slip out of his hold. I could easily walk away.
But being the cause of the hurt in those eyes… that wouldn't be easy.
So my feet stayed planted where they were, my eyes staring at them like they were the most interesting things in the world. Anything to not see the pain I could feel from how he struggled to keep his hold on my arm light.
"Valeriy…."
His gloved hand reached up for my chin. Probably to tilt it up. But before those fingers could touch me, they clenched into a tight fist, the leather squeaking under the pressure.
Even though my eyes were burning holes into our toes, I could practically see his face twist in self-loathing about the cybernetic.
'…I still have to figure out how to fix the last bit of it…' I thought, watching one of his gloved fingers twitch.
"You're not them…." He said.
Them.
I could almost laugh at the thought.
Almost.
"That's exactly who I am!" I yelled, shoving him away.
But he didn't move. Instead, my back slammed into the wall, and the pins holding my bones in place shifted from the impact. The pain that shot up to my brain dropped me to my knees, leaving me gasping for air.
"Val…" he called out softly, kneeling down to my level.
"Don't," I snapped, backing against the wall to get away from his hand.
"You're not them. They wouldn't help – "
"None of that matters. It doesn't change the fact that at the end of the day, I'm no different from those who manipulated you for decades! It's what I do! That is who I am."
The look Bucky gave me reminded me so much of a kicked puppy, but yet his brow knitted in concern. His hand reached out for me, freezing in the space between us. Unable to close the gap.
"I'm willing to put money on the fact a few of her friends are the old bastards who gave you orders. Are you sure you want to be a friend of a friend to those – "
"Just shut up!" he yelled at the ceiling, his breathing coming out hard and his attention returning to me again. "You don't need to listen to this bullshit."
I didn't even have time to blink before he had me sitting on his cybernetic arm. He practically raced up the stupidly long staircase, which only got longer with Eve moving the steps downwards. He had my ear pressed against his chest with his warm hand covering the other one.
His heart pounded away. Not its usual soothing pace. A panicked tune singing at my ear.
"Honestly, Mr. Barnes, are you so blind to just what kind of person you have cradled in your arms?" Eve's voice was muffled, and the words only served to make his arms tighten around me.
"Stop trying to get me to leave." His voice far too loud against my ear.
"You realize that I've been ordered to be truthful with you, right? Val has yet to lie to you either."
"I'm not asking! I'm tired of people leaving out half the information."
"I'm not the only one here with half – "
The glass door slammed back into place with a kick from Bucky.
I barely heard the growling through the racing beat of his heart. I snapped my fingers, pointing away to stop the coming attack.
'No wonder the sneaky bastards didn't tackle me when I got back.'
For some reason or another, Bucky had the dogs running about outside this whole time.
He set me down on the sun warmed grass. His brows furrowed together with such worry. His hand still against the side of my face, lightly pressed into my cheek.
I couldn't keep eye contact with him. A guilt I couldn't quite place gnawed away inside me.
"Please, Valeriy…. Please," he pleaded so very softly that his voice dragged my eyes to his, and the twisted expression of disgust I expected wasn't on his face.
"Why…? Why the bloody hell are you still here, Bucky?! Why do you even fucking care!?"
"I'm not going anywhere." His fingers tangled into my hair, pulling my head down to his shoulder. The scruff on his jaw jabbed right into the top of my head when his chin bumped me.
"Why not…?" I questioned, unable to stop my fingers from clinging onto the front of his hoodie. The fabric so warm against my cold skin.
That large hand of his slid from the back of my head and down my back. When Bucky held me closer to him, a shiver raced up my spine. I wanted to relax into him, but I couldn't bring myself to force him comfort me.
"She's not going to pull me away," he assured. "The broken neck… that was an accident… wasn't it?"
I pushed back, searching his face for some answer. "…How in the hell…?"
"The look on your face… you regret that…. I don't remember seeing that expression on my handlers…. And she keeps twisting information," he said with a flick of his wrist towards the ether.
"Doesn't mean she's lying. Eve doesn't make bets unless she wins them. So I've got business acquaintances who are of Hydra…."
"…I never wanted you involved with Hydra…."
"That has nothing to do with you. Met them long before…. They probably watched me grow up…?"
"They're dangerous…" he insisted. His hand dropped from my shoulder to his lap. His eyes stared at our knees. "…If they got their hands on you… they could – they would…. With your skills. They would turn you into a weapon. I-I can't… I can't have you end up like me…."
Words couldn't be forced out of me even if I tried. I dare not open my mouth. I wanted to vomit, anxiety and stress sinking into my gut. Things I wanted to bury in the back of my mind dragged out to the forefront.
"I don't understand why she would be using you…. Why you? She has her assets…."
"Better question, why aren't you?"
Bucky froze. Stunned into silence.
"…Everybody else is," I added, my sight averting to the treeline where the dogs still obediently sat.
"…If…" he started oh so carefully, "…if you were me… and I was you… would you use me…?"
His teeth dug into this bottom lip. Red and swollen from all his nervous chewing.
"You… You wouldn't," he said. Not entirely confident in the words.
I couldn't help the laughter, even as his face twisted into confusion. I couldn't stop it. "Am I not doing just that? Using you for my fucked up mess."
"You never asked me to… and I want to help."
"Bucky… let me help with Hydra."
He insistently shook his head, staring at the space between us again. His hair fell in front of his face almost like a curtain, sheltering his habit of chewing on his bottom lip. "The things… they're horrible…. You shouldn't… you shouldn't…. Don't… don't do this."
Carefully I reached out with my left hand, feeling the scratch of the short hairs along his jawline. My fingers brushed back his long hair, tucking it behind his ear. My nails dragged down his scalp. Maybe that'd calm the tension in his shoulders.
"I'd rather have some idea of what's coming our way than be blind to it. Would help when we run out of dumb luck," I hedged.
"You'll have nightmares," he muttered, his head leaning against my palm.
"Please, just think about letting me look into Hydra, Bucky. Even if it's for information to sit on."
The young man just slumped down in front of me, head dropping lower than mine. "…Okay…. I'll think about it…."
"It's not your fault that Hydra's in my life," I added after a wayward thought. Eve was pretty harsh on him earlier.
My arms wrapped around him, pulling him closer. I squeezed down as tight as I needed to be held, but he would never return it. I could feel the fear he held every time he touched me, scared that I'd break by his hand.
Took a moment for his arm to rest lightly around my lower back. As he curled around me, his head tucked under my chin.
"You're safe here, Bucky," I whispered against his hair.
I hoped that I'd relax him, but it had the opposite effect. The man froze up.
Again.
"Bucky?"
A little shake didn't jar a reaction from him. Nor did a hand wave in front of his face do anything.
"Okay. You've shut down again. How many times do I have to say that I'm not going to bite you when I'm lucid?"
With I sigh, I stood up and a flick of the wrist motioned to the dogs to open with the door.
"Alright, Beautiful, let's head back inside, shall we?"
No answer from Bucky.
But he gave no resistance when I nudged him onto his feet. Merely followed along while I moved him back inside Soteria.
"You broke him again?"
I flipped Eve the bird, guiding him to my room. He could sleep this off like last time.
"He woke up about ten minutes ago."
'Damnit…. I wanted to wrap him up in a blanket cocoon again,' I pouted, carefully maneuvering Bucky to sit on the couch.
"What did you do this time?"
"I really don't know why he's doing this all of a sudden."
My fingers found themselves wound around a fluffy blanket. My hands draped blanket after blanket. Wrapped him up in a heap of soft things.
Nothing I could do about how straight backed he sat though.
Playing with his hair hadn't brought him back from that blank state he seemed to be stuck in. All the knots were detangled by the time I gave up that tactic.
He didn't react to the dogs using him as a bed. Both of them piled on his lap, tails wagging away against his arms.
Shoving the dogs off him did nothing too. He didn't stop me at all.
"Cinnamon buns. Might as fucking well."
I doubt a hug would work. I doubt it very much so.
So that left me staring at a box filled with a whole bunch different kinds of cinnamon buns. Probably every kind collected from a nearby city.
'Oooo, this one's yummy.'
With that thought, I set one in the toaster oven.
"Eve, stop the toasting before it gets charred. He doesn't much like charred food."
"Fine…. About him training you…."
"Look, I get it. You want to get him to Gramps ASAP, and your children are precious. So I get it," I interrupted while rinsing off the oily sugar stuck to my fingers. "I just thought of it as another tool in my hat of tricks for when shit hits the fan? Definitely useful if I end up on my own. Looking back, I see more than a few situations where some combative skills would have been rather…. It would have prevented some shit?"
"What are you talking about?"
A scream ripped from my throat and I whirled around to find Bucky's face inches away from the toaster. His breath came out in quick little bursts, clearly sniffing at the bun beyond the glass.
"Hey there, Bu-Buddy? How are you feeling?" I asked gently.
"Funct – I'm… fine…?" he replied.
The struggle to tear his eyes away from the treat in the oven was so obvious as he turned to face me.
"…'Kay…?" With a shrug, I pushed the matter to the back of my mind. "…The bun's for you?"
Bucky was facing me, but his eyes? They were looking to the side in the direction of the toaster oven.
'Can he even see inside that thing? The angles completely suck for that. It's like parallel to his head. Oh my god! Does he have eyes on the side of his head?! I sure hope didn't jab my finger in one. That would hurt…. I'd know, wouldn't I? It's be mushy and wet…. What if they're super tiny – '
"Val?"
"Huh? What up?" I responded with a smile, to which he ended up looking like a sad puppy.
'What'd I do this time?'
"…You don't need to slap on a smile after everything she said," Bucky muttered.
"…I feel like I've missed something…."
"You stared blankly at him as if he grew a second head, and then proceeded to go deaf for a period of time."
"What the hell did you say to me?"
"I haven't said a thing since you interrupted me. Mr. Barnes asked if you were alright."
"…I'm fine?"
Bucky gave such a large sigh, his shoulders sagging. "…We'll figure out something else to improve your aim…. We can work on some hand-to-hand skills when you're healed."
"Yeah… but Eve wasn't kidding about being able to stop you. I can't do much if things keep hitting me. Like the doors and they're fucking heavy here. Definitely broke my fingers with them before. Not fun."
"…You mentioned a broken hand last time… was she the one…? To stop you from learning combative skills?"
"…No, that time was all me…. Pretty sure that was… me…?"
Bucky took one large step to me, his arm scooping me up in the same moment. A tink of metal against metal echoed slightly in the room and then a screech.
All in the time it took for me to react.
Which was to stare at the dislocated cabinet door held in his cybernetic hand.
"Let's see which of us is better built," he practically growled out, his chest rumbling under my fingertips.
'…Okay… okay… okay… okay… okay…? Okay….'
Some of the plates on his arm shifted, reminding me of how muscles flexed when a person was about to lash out. He had already made a new handle for door. His fingers had pierced right through the metal.
'I wonder if the glass can tank a shot like that.'
The ceiling sure couldn't. And from the way he's been glaring at it, he just might think Eve would be up there or something.
'Oh hey, that's where the popcorn bowl went,' I thought, staring at the hole due to the door Bucky tore off its hinges. A door that Eve was probably opening to whack my leg.
"I'm not looking to fight with you, Mr. Barnes."
He half folded my body until I was completely out of reach from any doors and awkwardly perched on his arm and shoulder.
"…But I do see your arguments in regards to Val's… combative skills. I'll stop with the antics, and even help out, if you can find it in yourself to shoot her when that temper of hers kicks in. Only then will I move the arsenal you've requested."
His arm tightened around me and the metal trapped between his fingers screeched again. A clattering made me flinch, the door having dropped onto the floor.
"I'm not going to shoot her," Bucky stated through gritted teeth, his feet pacing back and forth along the kitchen island.
"…She means with a sleep dart," I added at his horrified expression. "You're going to have to actually shoot me with one to prove it to her."
I couldn't help the smile at his nose wrinkling like when he ate something he disliked.
"I'm not going to shoot you. With anything," he insisted, pacing with me still sitting on his arm.
"I can't give a damn if you did. I've been shot by sleeping darts a bunch. Amber made the concoction to knock me out whenever I got too rowdy and bugged her too much…. Or when she wanted to sleep and I wanted to break out of the dorms…. Just make sure I don't land on my face. Mother would kill me if I end up with a crooked nose."
Though it was more along the lines of the tech used to heal a broken nose oh so fucking perfectly was far too annoying to deal with for six weeks.
Those beautiful blue eyes narrowed in a way that was questioning something. Didn't feel like confusion about how not to get me to land on my face. There was too much irritation in the way his eyes narrowed.
"I'm not going to shoot you," Bucky repeated.
With a sigh, I dropped the topic. "How's your studying going?"
His head tipped in an almost meek nod. "I remembered some… from… from…?"
I knew where from. Auntie's Irene's stories about how Bucky would self-study and tutored them whenever his sisters were confused. He even had some college level subject materials floating about in his memories.
"…I finished with the mathematical portion of the practice questions, and I'm still working my way through the science portion," he practically reported, sounding more robotic than Eve ever did. Something seemed to click in his mind and with a small smile, he quickly added, "Your notes and the videos online made it all easier to understand.
"…How in the hell did you get so much done?"
For having requested all the practice exams when he found out about them this morning, that was a lot of work. Even took Eve some time to sort them out by subject and load them into a tablet for him. Luckily for the printer, he didn't mind writing on the screen.
But still, finishing one subject in the span of the few hours I was out and add to that his staggered sleep cycle, it was an insane task. I doubt I was the only one eyeing the processing power of his brain.
"That's amazing," I smiled.
At the words, Bucky's face lit up. His posture straightened out. A happy spring to his steps.
"When you're done pacing around, just toss me somewhere," I said, slipping my glasses on to get started on the usually weekly dose of bullshit. The lenses filled with videos of people being gunned down. "I have a third world president to overthrow since he pissed off the parents…. Maybe I can get the white knight guy elected."
"…What?"
The sudden stop in the rather comfortable pacing had me blindly flailing about, trying to cling onto him. As much as my brain knew he wasn't going to drop me, my body was dumb enough not to realize that. Pretty sure my elbow hit a bone structure of his, and I pray it not be that beautiful face of his.
"Sorry," I managed through a clenched jaw. My rib did not appreciate the random flailing.
I tipped the glasses down and spotted a red circle on the cheek bone of that beautiful face. It was warmer against my palm compared to the rest of his cheek.
"What do you mean overthrow a president?"
"The guy's a war criminal? He shouldn't even be president. And personally I don't like dealing with that egomaniac. So why not get rid of him before he somehow makes peace with the parents? I'd rather not have to visit him again."
I gave a shiver at an unpleasant memory of not quite escaping the "invite" to watch a village being used as target practice.
"What did he do…?" he whispered so softly I barely heard it.
I knew what Bucky was asking about. More than likely read it on my face somehow. But it wasn't something I wanted him to know.
The "invite" to pick up a gun. Odinga's been trying to teach me how to shoot ever since. I still pretended to shut my eyes and gunned for the rooftops.
All this from a relocation bribe gone wrong. Just as I expected. The greedy bastard swallowed the funds and relocated the villages six feet under.
"He reneged on an agreement with us," I went with instead. Still somewhat answered the question stated. "It was our last foothold in Africa. A couple of the other countries seized all our properties there and kicked us out…. We're a little more than pissed."
Bucky merely sighed, dropping the topic in favour of plucking his cinnamon bun from the toaster oven. Not a single movement to put me on my feet again.
A content groan escaped from Bucky at the first bite. It rumbled through his chest and against my side. As he chewed slowly, his head lightly leaned against my shoulder, mumbling something that sounded like a thanks.
He finished the bun in the time his feet took us to the hole in the floor. As always, he lowered me like I'd shatter to pieces if he wasn't ridiculously careful. Set me on the upper level of the flower couch.
He managed to catch Zeph before the giant bastard could tackle me and crack my head against the fireplace. That'd make washing my hair way more annoying than it was with only the hand cast.
It's amazing watching somebody hold the damn dog up. The rest of us were stuck with rolling them from location to location. I couldn't even move them much with my arms. Had to shove them about with my feet. And here Bucky was holding Zeph as if he was made of feathers.
I could practically see the gears turning in his head as he thought about where to place Zeph. He ended up setting the sneaky little bastard next to me. Took a moment to make sure that a paw wasn't just dropped dramatically onto my ribs.
I couldn't help but grin at how Bucky settled down for another round of studying. The laptop playing a Khan Academy video and a binder of my high school physics notes at his side. The tablet rested under his arm as he wrote across the screen. His hand barely paused between the flashbacks.
Maybe someday he wouldn't find the need to keep his cybernetic arm on the opposite side of me.
Ixie cozied against his side as if that had always been her spot.
I plucked one of the neatly folded fluffy blankets. Likely Bucky's doing before he jump scared me. I crunched it up in a poor attempt to make it into a comfy pillow for my head while I settled down on my back. A good position to prop my bad ankle up on the floor to rest on another once neatly folded fluffy blanket.
'Fucking hell. Why won't you be comfy?' I questioned the blanket pillow.
A nudge against the top of my head had me looking up. Bucky had leaned back, tablet balancing on his knee. Without a word or a glance, his shoulder shrugged a little. I laughed, signalling Eve to raise the petal to a good height and happily scooting myself until my head rested comfortably on his shoulder.
As my fingers ran through his hair, his head tilted just the slightest, touching mine. The day's stress drained out of us both. No tension in his shoulders and no pounding headache bothering me.
All settled in for the next couple of hours, I pushed the glasses back to the bridge of my nose. This really was the comfiest way to work.
Time to take everything from a man but his life.
If done perfectly, he wouldn't even have the choice to blow his brains out.
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AN:
I'm curious as to what would be the best time to post. I poked around online and came to the conclusion that I should ask you guys. Since you guys are the one reading this.
(You don't need an account to leave a comment.)
What times do you guys hop on FFN?
Time of day. Day of the week. Timezone.
(In a roundabout way, I get to see where Mosaic's readers are on the globe. I know there's one in the Austiran Alps, which is completely awesome. If you guys are comfortable with it, add your country or something.)
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The betas of this chapter are Tinsela and a newcomer who will be called Anonymous fifth beta has joined in on making Mosaic readable. ^^
(School is my worst enemy. It keeps taking my betas T^T.)
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