AN:
HAPPY NEW YEAR! A big thank you to everyone who had stayed with Mosaic this long ^^
Previously:
"…Bucky?" I waved my good hand in front of his face.
No reaction.
Just a blank ass stare into who knows what.
A quick glance around, and none of the windows showed the snow. Only black sand and water. I doubt Eve would be messing around with him.
"The norepinephrine and cortisol levels on his skin aren't as high as they were earlier, if that helps."
If Bucky wasn't so attached to the monitoring bracelet, I'd have ripped it off his wrist. Nobody needed their own feelings violated. At least, he didn't.
"My guess would be that you broke him. Again. He hasn't done this around the dogs. Only around you."
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Chapter 30: Valeriy Ayers - Black Sand
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I lowered my legs, and his arm didn't fight my attempt this time. He didn't drop me on my ass, merely set me down.
"Come on, let's go sit down, 'kay?"
I took him by his hand and gently pulled him along behind me. He followed with no resistance or much reaction to anything around him.
Worse than he was when following orders….
Before I sat him down like usual, I yanked off the wet cushion cover and laid a fluffy blanket down. Wrapped him all up, made sure his arms were free to move and then had Eve started up a fire with a hand gesture.
"This is really starting to worry me, Bucky."
He didn't even move when I tucked a lock of hair behind his ear. Not a lean nor a flinch.
"Soteria's supposed to be a safe place. It's safe here. You're safe here. People know you're alive now. You're not going to lose years to them anymore. You're safe now."
I pressed my forehead against his, letting my eyes fall shut.
"What the hell am I doing wrong?"
Not that I was expecting an answer.
"Maybe if you knock your head against his, you'd magically gain his knowledge…. Or he'd punch you in the face. Fifty-fifty."
'Not the response I was looking for…. Cinnamon buns.'
Brought in a bunch from the drop off I picked up last night.
"Urgh… the counters are disgusting…."
"If only they listened to me as well as they do you…."
"Maybe they'd listen if you had fingers to snap."
"…Still doesn't work…."
I shrugged. I doubt the dogs would ever listen to Eve unless it's an emergency.
Picking up one of the mini mop Roombas, I flinched away at all the water spitting out of it from the spinning wet fabric. "Eve, mind pausing this thing for a sec?"
"I would rather not. This brings me joy," she laughed.
With a heavy sigh, I set it back on the countertop. From how well it soaked up water under it, Eve likely had it spit water all over me on purpose.
'…This… this is going to take bloody forever…. Can't even risk using the Game Floor to clean this shit. Bucky might freak out and Eve….'
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked, walking into the pantry to find a mop or something that soaks up water.
"Talk about what? The mop is behind the door, and you're staring right at the shammies, you blind idiot."
Did not help that they were practically neon orange. Totally did not see them.
"Whatever it is that has you in this foul ass mood, maybe we could put our heads together and figure something out."
"I'm rather certain that bringing people back to life is out of your skill set."
"Shit. Don't tell me it's Gillespie who died."
"No. Though we had to put her back into comatose, and a particular idiot has been trying to convince Fox, who's been begging Mochi to grow an eyeball for his wife, to add a laser beam function to said eyeball…. I don't have the energy to stop that train wreck."
"To what I know, Amber hasn't figured out biological laser beams… I'll be cleaning and Bucky's out for who knows how long, so if you want to rant?"
I haven't touched a mop in years. Back in high school, and they hired a maid to clean my dorm room.
"Fernandez, he... The shrapnel…. He didn't…. I shouldn't have pushed the schedule up. I was scared to lose track of the child… instead, I lost five of my children…."
"Nobody could have predicted those kids tripping all those landmines. Not even you."
"But I should have predicted this. That temper on Tran was bound to be trouble. She dreamed of the day she'd be on a mission. I took a chance… and hoped that she'd step up when the situation arose."
"Your infield Puppets need to be team players. There's no use for a hothead who can't bother to think of their teammates. We rely on them to follow orders as much as they rely on us to have their backs."
"And that's why you're horrendous infield."
"Doesn't help that I only have about half the skills required to be in field."
"You do realize that you're one to kill first and ask questions later, right? That's going to do a number on Mr. Barnes, even if he isn't the one to train you."
"I am…? Oh shit, I am…."
Made sense. It's usually the one advantage I had in most of the chaotic situations I've been in. Attempted kidnappings. Worth more alive than dead, which meant they'd be busying trying to keep me intact.
"I ran it by him. Maybe he'd stop with this idea of teaching you how to fight."
I hated that.
Hated that I was being limited.
Hated that she was making moves behind my back.
"He got all constipated looking."
Hated that she was manipulating Bucky.
Hated that Bucky might be my only chance to learn.
"He convinced himself it was for the better. The longer a fight drags on, the higher your chances of dying become."
The only one who'd be willing to go up against Eve for such a petty reason.
"I honestly don't understand what goes through his head. Why he sticks around you."
"…Me too…. For now, the choice is his."
"Until they come to drag him away. There's only so much you and I can do to keep the violence away from him. Eventually, they'll find him."
"Maybe by then I'd have some combative skills in my toolbox. You know? To kill first and then… politely ask whoever survives the bloodbath…."
"I suggest you think about what you hold more dear. Your toolbox of skills or his want to not hurt anybody."
"Yay… more bloody thinking… yay…."
'The more skills I have, the less deadweight I am. He could get himself captured trying to protect me….'
"My head hurts already…. I don't want to use my brain anymore. Not for… the next week or so."
"Never happening."
'Why did we have to make everything so damn big?' I had to wonder.
For people who rarely stepped into a kitchen, I don't know why we made one that's probably bigger than the ones in our estates.
'Right. We were fucking dumbass kids.'
"Only the cushion covers left."
"I'm going to just chuck these downstairs. You can deal with them," I said, gathering up all the petals. All except the one Bucky sat on. Dropped them onto the steps.
"I'm going to take a gander here, but did you forget about toasting a certain treat for a particular spaced out sergeant?"
"…."
Without a word of acknowledgement, I quietly washed my hands and tossed a couple of cinnamon buns into the toaster.
"You should eat something yourself, Val."
"…Yeah… I guess I should…."
Too lazy to do much else let alone move, I plucked a pair of PROs from the fridge and then stood in front of Bucky.
Should I sit to his left or right?
'What the hell did those assholes do to you?'
On his left, he might feel safer with having his cybernetic between us, but he had never actually put it between us. Barely even let me touch it.
On his right, my usual spot. That was if Zeph wasn't hogging the hell out of it.
"Sit to his right. Last thing you need is to take another hit from that arm of his."
"…Yeah, 'kay."
That made sense.
I made sure to keep some distance between us, not to invade his personal space or crowd him.
'Well, this certainly wasn't how I imagined my day would go….'
My thumb broke through the thin red peel. I tried to keep the skin in one piece. This time, instead of a winding spiral, I tried something akin to a world map. Sliced my nail down the side and wiggled my thumb between flesh and skin. The peel tore and broke wherever it was strained too much.
'Aww, no….'
At the fallen third of the peel, I gave up my attempt. Impatience got the better of me and I finagled a purple coloured slice free.
I opened my mouth to take a sweet delicious bite only to scream.
My hand bashed against a stubbled chin, knocking a head into my nose.
"Bucky!? Achoo! Oh god. Sorry! Achoo! You're uhh…" I half babbled through my sneezes, awkwardly patting his chin that I half punched. "How…? Um, how are you…?"
Bucky just hummed. While he chewed the PRO slice he bit out of my fingers, a ghost of a smile played on his lips.
Not spotting any discomfort or fear in him, I shrugged off the incident and freed another slice to eat.
Only to have Bucky's head get in the way again. This slice ended up in his mouth too. As well as the next one, and the one after that. No matter how fast I moved my hand, I could not managed to get a slice into my own damn mouth.
With four slices in his mouth, he looked so much like a chipmunk. Cheeks puffed out. Absolutely adorable. The temptation to poke at his cheeks grew by the second. Pretty sure that would end up with juice splattered all over the place.
Bucky plucked the rest of the PRO out of my hands.
"…Okay?"
With a shrug, I grabbed the other PRO.
Before I could get my thumb under the skin, he took that as well. Set it on the other side of him. Out of my reach.
"…."
'At least he didn't shove the whole thing into his mouth.'
So I took the next logical step. Get another pair from the fridge.
This time, his blanket hidden elbow moved to block my leg from straightening out. Effectively dropping me back onto my ass.
"…Bucky?" I called out, watching his fingers methodically pull the last two slices from the peel.
"Stay," was all he said with his mouth still mostly full.
With no reason not to, I quietly sat next to him, watching him separate the two last slices.
Then nothing.
We just sat there staring at two slices of unnatural fruit. For who knows how long. And then Bucky raised a piece to my mouth.
"You don't have –"
His fingers wiggled the slice.
With a deep breath in and a shrug, I opened my mouth, and he fed me the fruit.
'This… this is kind of weird….'
"Thanks…?"
He handed me the last slice before starting on the second PRO, methodically peeling it. The peel came off in one piece. One long, pretty spiral.
The first slice, he popped into his mouth, chewing quickly while he separated the rest.
I couldn't help but lean into his side. His side covered by many layers of fluffy blankets. But somehow that high body temperature of his managed to make it through all those layers. My head dropped against his shoulder as I munched on the one PRO slice he gave me.
His head tipped, resting against my mine.
Once everything was all separated, he handed me the five slices left of the second PRO.
"You cleaned everything…."
"Eh," I shrugged.
"You should have left it to me."
"Ehhhh."
"Cleaning… it helps calm me. It feels… familiar."
"…Next time then. 'Cause I have no idea what I was doing."
"…Are Ixie and Zephyr alright?" he asked.
"They're still melting out of the snow. As for your cinnamon buns, they're going to char in 5, 4, 3 –"
Bucky smoothly leapt over the poorly cleaned counter and opened the toaster door in what looked to be one motion.
'I could watch him move all day.'
Didn't even matter that he was under a massive pile of blankets. Still fun to watch.
He didn't care for the tongs much. Used his cybernetic to pick up the cinnamon buns. He paused by the fridge and grabbed something from inside before returning to the one cushion left on the couch.
He wiggled into the little distance between us, removing the blankets from his right. He didn't lean into me, but our sides were pressed together.
Taking the hint, I sunk against him and rested my head on his shoulder. "How are you holding up? Anything else I can do?"
"…This… this is good…" he replied after wolfing down a bun in about five bites. "…I… I didn't mean to wake you…. I did my best to be quiet. I didn't know where else to go."
"Bucky, you're welcome to wake me whenever you feel like. No reason needed."
"I shouldn't…. You haven't been getting enough sleep."
"Doesn't matter. If you don't want to be alone, I'll be here," I assured as he ate the second cinnamon bun. "Next to you. In whatever situation."
Bucky didn't say anything in response. Only tilted his head until it rested on mine.
And then out of nowhere, he was peeling another PRO. Probably what he picked up when he opened the fridge. Another perfect spiral of peel later, he was munching on the first slice before separating the rest and handing them to me after a minute or so.
"Thanks…. Do you want to watch a movie or something?"
Bucky shook his head, his arm wrapping around me.
"Okay…." I reached up with my left hand, soothing my fingers over his cheek. Or at least that's what I was hoping me playing with his stubble came off as. Scratching it was oddly fun.
"…What is it?" Bucky questioned lightly.
"Huh?"
"You want to say something."
'…How the fuck does he know these things? I swear I don't have words stamped on my face. Unlike his.'
He nudged me when I took too long.
I took a deep breath in, searching for the words. "Are you sure you want to teach me how to defend myself…?"
His hand waved into the ether. "She mentioned you could use what you learn to kill people."
"I can't argue with that…. When shit hits the fan, I doubt I'd be able to compartmentalize what skills I learn from you…. You… you shouldn't teach me if you're not alright with me killing people….
"Though learning how to shoot probably might stop the collateral damage…. Shoot what I want to shoot and not hope for the best?"
"They'll come for me, and they'll go through you to get to me…. I can't leave you defenceless against them… in case… in case I… I-I…."
"…Whatever happens, try not to blame yourself for it…."
"None of this matters until I manage to dart you…" he pointed out.
"I could probably figure a way to nudge you into shooting me with a dart…."
"I don't want to snap and hurt you."
"I'm not going to threaten you or the dogs. Let me think on it a bit. If I come up with something, shall I use it?"
"…If you're sure I won't hurt you."
"Deal."
"…I think… I think I'm going to take a shower after you finish your breakfast."
To which, with one PRO slice left, I changed my eating tactics to nibbles. To stretch out this moment a little longer. Let him have more time to relax.
But the last bite came too soon, and true his word, Bucky peeled away from my side and got onto his feet.
"I… I should be alright now," he muttered softly, eyes not quite meeting mine. "You should go back to sleep."
I shrugged, fishing out an earbud from my shorts pocket. "I might check out the sn… outside? If anything, call me. I have my earbud in."
With a nod, Bucky headed for the hallway to the rooms. Going by how his stiff gate was and how hunched shoulders were, he was barely alright.
'I hope he's been using hot water….'
And not the sad excuse for room temp water. Pretty sure it's colder than room temp.
No point in saving hot water here. Something would have to be seriously wrong for us to run out.
"He'd probably be more comfortable barging into your room if you wore more than panties to sleep."
"But it gets so hot," I whined. "And then it gets all tangled up. Next thing I know I'm having a nightmare about breathing problems and I wake up not able to breathe 'cause it's actually fucking strangling me."
"Takes you about five minutes to figure that out. Give or take a couple. I guess you and your brother's dumb idea of holding each other's heads underwater did pay off."
I shrugged her off.
Leave it to Eve to watch me strangle myself with my pyjamas.
"Let me know if Bucky's not okay," I said and headed to the door.
"…If I must."
"…This is a shit ton of snow…."
I was standing knee deep in it.
Fresh and white.
The air crisp and cold.
A grin worked its way across my face. I always loved this view with snow. A world covered in powdered sugar.
Falling face first into the fluffiness was a semi bad plan. The ribs did not appreciate it as much as the rest of me did. Except for my ankle. It didn't quite like being bent that way yet.
Sitting up, I pushed at the snow and formed a wall. A snow castle. I could probably make shapes that I couldn't with sand, but then Eve would render it as a sand castle on the windows….
Probably.
…Probably not.
With a pout, I grabbed a handful of snow and packed it into a ball. Rolled that around until I had one about half the size of me. Stacked three of them on top of each other.
As much as I loved the crunch of snow under my feet, I was too lazy to find pebbles and branches. Too far to walk. Too deep under the snow.
When I tried to poke holes for a face, my stupid twitching hand moved too much, and the head shattered.
"Okay, this is turning out more demented than I thought…."
With a shrug, I let my body drop backwards.
"Fuck… my ribs…."
But after the pain faded, this was comfortable. A nice cool bed with perfect tailored support.
As much as I tried to keep my mind off everything I still had to do, it didn't work. Project Oasis kept returning to my thoughts. How it all could have been if things… if things played out differently….
"Ewww! Nononono! Don't drink that!" half of us squealed, cringing away from the sight of Jess taking a swig of the still muddy water.
"It's just dirt," she laughed. A piece of whatever that was in the water stuck to her tooth.
"We suck at filtering water…" I sighed, swirling the dark bottle of liquid.
"Did we even remember to boil it?" Amber asked, not even looking up at the bug she was prodding with a stick. "You did grab the dirt by the tree, and most animals tend to mark their territory in that area. The microbes in animal piss –"
Jess started dry heaving, and Chanelle followed suit out of a reaction.
We never did light a fire.
"Yay…. Camping…. Such fun…" I groaned, staring at different layers in the bottle. "There has to be a better way to filter water than just pushing it through rocks and shit."
That had Amber looking up. She waved me closer. "There're a few bacteria out there I can think of that could be of use. They'll need to be crossbred, and if we could figure out how to gene edit properly, we might manage something workable."
"Oh oh, and if we can make them reproduce cheaply without going rampant in the environment… we can give this out for free."
"Hmmm, there's something I have in mind for that."
"Holy shit, we just might solve the world's water supply problem," I half cheered in an excited whisper.
"I guess we found another side project."
"And one that doesn't involve poisons. Yay!"
"What are you two whispering about?" Chanelle cut in.
"Can't figure out how to tell you about the spider in your hair," I fired back to throw some insanity as a cover.
"I think I'm getting hearing loss…" Amber stated flatly. Barely heard her over all the screeching.
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"Did you hear that? Was that just me? Tell me that was just me? Tell me you didn't hear a crack! What the hell cracked?!" I yelled, trying to crawl out from under the massive water tank I was working on.
"…You may have a problem on your hands."
"Amber?!"
"Yup. You have a problem."
"What the fuck is cracking n –!?"
"The glass, what else?" Amber commented from her spot on the table, safe from the water flooding out of the tank.
"I was really hoping that it wasn't," I muttered, flinging my soaking hair off my face.
"If hope could alter reality, we wouldn't be working on this project."
"That would an interesting world to live in."
"It wouldn't be boring. Absolute chaos, as the good willed and the greedy clash in ideals. Do you know anybody who could make this world happen?"
"…Nope," I said, searching my memory through all the files on powered people I've read. "Nobody comes to mind…? Yup, nobody…."
"…This is the third glass that broke."
"I was hoping that third time's the charm. But I think we're making this too big. Water volume problem."
"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome," Eve half sung.
"Remember not everyone can do detail work like you do, and you're trying to make this free for everyone," Amber reminded.
"Fuck…. And I've been poking around at other projects like this. They're being sunk by corporations. Something about loss of profit if water's free."
"If we do all the work under their radar and release it all at once…."
"I'll figure something out by then," I laughed, getting onto my feet to grab more glass sheets. 'Fourth time's the charm. Yup sounds about right.'
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"Hey, wake up. Class starts in ten," Amber said, punctuated with a stick poking my back.
"…The fuck? Why am I sleeping on the floor…?"
"Don't remember?"
"…I just… I just… I remember we were working on Oasis…? Did you shoot me up with something again?"
"Wanted a night in," she shrugged. "So? What are the symptoms?"
"A massive fucking headache, and I guess memory loss?" I answered, pulling out a prototype dart from my lower back.
"Does only one side of your head hurt or…?"
"…I hit my head on the way down, didn't I?"
"Maybe," Amber grinned. "I guess the ratios need to be tweaked again. Knocked you out for about nine hours."
"The memory loss can come in use," I sighed out and scramble to get ready for class, which was easy since I was still in my uniform.
"But hey, good news. Managed to solve the breeding problem last night. Only have the invasive species problem left."
"Oh! There's that thing! The thing you told me to remind you of. That thing can probably solve this thing. Uhh… The thing where one thing eats the other thing, and only that other thing? The harmless thing that needs the special thing to survive."
"…Yeah. That could work. If I can breed this bacterium to only be able to reproduce in that one. Yeah, that would solve our invasive species problem."
"And with what I have saved up, I should be able to swallow the production cost for the tanks. If not, I can go to Gramps or something. We so got this. Free water for all!" I cheered, wrapping an arm around Amber's neck and half forcing her to drag me to class.
"You live in Vancouver. Water is free. Not so much in Richmond. We have to pay for our water. I wish I don't have to decide between a shower or a having some protein," Chanelle pouted, sitting down at our usual table. "You don't know how good you have it."
'…Could just save up the money you spend to smoke two packs a day…. We're fucking fifteen.'
"Val, Mr. Barnes, he… he's…."
At Eve's voice, I sat up and found Bucky standing in the doorway of the fake boulder. Still bundled up with so many blankets. Which did nothing to hide the panic twisting his face and colouring his movements.
His feet shuffled back and forth, and side to side. His hands gripped the edges of the doorway. Probably would have shattered it if it were made of any other kind of glass.
His blue eyes locked with mine.
I quickly got up to make my way to him. "Bucky! I'll come to y –…?"
A mass of blankets with a man inside leapt through the air, landing about halfway between me and the fake boulder. The fluttering fabric barely skimmed the surface of the snow before it was flying through the air again.
With a soft crunch of snow, the mass of blankets stopped in front of me.
"Buck –"
A pair of arms wrapped around me and I slammed face first into a very hot chest of muscles.
From what I could tell in the darkness of the blankets, we were moving very quickly. When I expected a bounce in momentum, there wasn't.
"I use my legs."
Then everything came to a stop.
I was pretty sure we were sitting on the couch, still all wrapped up. I tried to push my way out of the dark, but I couldn't. Not with those arms keeping me trapped.
"Bucky, you don't like the cold. I can warm up with a shower," I reasoned, feeling the panic clawing its way out of me.
"Sweetie, I'm home!"
I could feel his face nuzzling against the top of my head, even through the layers of blanket. "You could have frozen to death. Ste… Ste –"
"I'll only be gone for a few hours, Sweetie. Lots of love."
"Mr. Barnes, if I may –"
"It's too dark in here!" I blurted out, and he quickly removed the blankets from my face.
"Sorry…. I-I didn't mean…."
I nodded my head.
Let him know I heard. Maybe he'd get that I'm okay or something.
'You're safe. It's Bucky. Not him. You're safe.'
"You weren't moving. I thought… I thought you die-died…" he whispered to the top of my head and tucked me close under his chin.
I was rather sure I was as cold as ice, at least when compared to him, but he didn't seem bothered by that. Clung onto me tightly instead of shying away from the cold.
I flinched back when I spotted a flash of his cybernetic under the blankets.
"Not going to cover your head," he assured, wrapping the blanket tightly around us. "You're in a T-shirt and shorts…. I thought you were on the beach. The windows. They-they – Your lips are still blue…. You're not even wearing shoes."
'You're okay. You're at Soteria. You're safe here, you pathetic idiot. He's not here. Bucky's here.'
"Please don't die," he practically begged in the tiniest whisper. "Please…."
Unclenching my fists were a struggle. Barely able to pry my arm from hugging myself to wrap around his torso.
For now, I couldn't trust my voice not to break on me. Took everything I had not to beg utter nonsense at him.
"I wouldn't actually let her freeze to death. There was no reason for you to have gone outside, Mr. Barnes…. If you let her change into dry clothing, it would be more comfortable for the both of you."
Still he refused to loosen his hold.
'It's Bucky, you dimwit. Bucky. Not him. Bucky. It's bloody fucking Soteria. We're safe here.'
My muddled brain could almost fall asleep if I dare to close my eyes.
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AN:
A thank you to Tinsela and the Anonymous Fifth Beta for beta-ing this chapter. ^^
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I'm always trying to improve my ability to pull a person into a character's headspace or feel their emotions, and your feedback will help me know if what I'm trying for is working or not. Even an emoticon or button smashing tells me something useful and can influence what I write more or less of.
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