Alice Alive

By, KKYOKO

Chapter Ten: Off I Go

As the year progressed, Shiori's health only seemed to get worse. The doctors still had absolutely no idea what was wrong with her, and Kurama, Hatanaka, and I were stuck helplessly watching her grow thinner and paler as the months passed. Hatanaka tried to be there for us in a parental way, and as kind as his efforts were, Kurama and I ended up telling him not to strain himself. He was trying to do too much at once, with his job, his own son, and dealing with his girlfriend's illness, so he really didn't need to be over at our house making us dinner. He ended up with a fever from stress more than once.

Kurama, I think, took the most pain and responsibility from Shiori's illness. His eyes grew sadder as Shiori grew sicker, and sometimes I heard him cursing himself in his room at night. I think he must have been racking his genius brain over and over again, trying to come up with a combination of Makai herbs to fix her. He didn't actually talk to me about it, probably because he didn't want to give me false hope. He clearly, irrationally, blamed himself for her illness, and no matter what I said, his beliefs didn't change.

I wasn't really sure what to do about anything. I felt helpless and useless, and I didn't want to be sad, so I started seeing her less and cutting my visits shorter. I knew it wasn't fair to her, but I couldn't bear to see Shiori ill like this. It was like she was barely alive.

Kurama seemed to understand my wishes, but he didn't say anything about it to me. We had been talking less and less to each other for some reason. Maybe because facing each other was like facing a mirror - we didn't want to see our sadness reflected back at us.

The next year, Kurama's human birthday passed much like my last one had - I baked a small cake in our toaster oven (generally Japanese homes don't have full-sized ovens), we took it to the hospital, and we celebrated with Shiori. Shuichi turned fourteen and smiled a smile that didn't reach his eyes. I took it upon myself to leave the room as much as possible for various reasons, and to take as long as possible while I was out. Eventually, we were able to leave because visiting hours were over, and with a quick hug and kiss to Shiori, I walked out.

I held the remnants of the chocolate cake in a round, plastic bento, tapping my fingertips on the sides as I waited for Kurama to say his goodbyes. The hall I stood in wasn't particularly busy, but it was a terrible blue color. Probably the same blue color as the bento I held in my hand.

Kurama came out after a moment, taking my arm, and walked me down the hall. His face had a crackle of thunder in it as his hand tightened around my arm. "Alice," he finally said, after we were out of earshot of Shiori's room. We kept walking. "Mother is concerned about you. She knows that you're distant because you're grieving, but," he yanked me to a stop and his green eyes flashed with anger, "must you be so obvious about it? Must you act as if she's a pariah?"

I looked away from him. "I'm sorry," I said. My words were meaningless though. I wasn't sure what I was apologizing for. I didn't want Shiori to be hurt by me, but I also couldn't be around her. I just couldn't.

His look softened and his hand around my arm dropped to his side. "You've upended the cake," he said.

I looked down and saw that I was clutching the blue bento against my chest like a shield. "Oh," was all I said about it. It was still fine. Ugly, but edible. Not like I had much of an appetite lately.

The air only seemed to grow heavier.

"Let's go home," Kurama finally said.

I knew something was up when I saw Hiei sitting at our kitchen table. I hadn't seen him in weeks. I had just gotten in from music club activities, didn't feel like waiting on Kurama, so I headed home first.

His red eyes flicked up at me from his laid back position. He was balanced on the chair's back legs, feet propped up on the dinner table, shoes and all.

I felt myself give him a grimace. "We eat there, Hiei. Could you put your feet down?"

He smirked at me and swung his feet to the floor - yet another red flag. Hiei never listened to me. He must have either lost his mind or must have been in an extremely humoring mood.

I found myself grimacing again and turned to pleasantries. "How've you been?"

He made an amused sound in his chest. "Better than you."

I decided to ignore that comment, for the sake of my pride. "I'll be upstairs if anyone needs me." I ignored his dark chuckle as well as I picked up my bag and went to my room.

Something was definitely going on.

I spent the next hour chewing on the end of my pen and studying the chapter on geology we were going to be tested on tomorrow. I had completely forgotten about Hiei by the end of the hour, busy turning words over in my mind and then moved on to my math homework. Math had never come easily to me, mostly because there were so many equations and formulas to follow, it was hard to keep them all straight. I found that if I looked at math like a fun challenge, instead of something I hated and wanted to avoid, I would be more willing to do it.

God, that sounds stupid. I tried to keep a positive attitude toward it at least.

I found myself on a roll tonight though, and was zipping through the problems like some sort of …mathmatician. Consistent studying probably had something to do with it.

Humming cheerfully, I closed my textbook and decided to go downstairs and make something to eat. It was getting late and I was hungry. Kurama usually had rice started by now, so I could probably just steam some vegetables - I thought we had some carrots and spinach in the fridge - and that would be good with some leftover tofu from the other day. I thought about dinner and bounced down the stairs, and then realized I completely forgot about Hiei being there when I saw him at the table with Kurama.

Kurama looked up at me, and an uneasy look passed over his face. Hiei just ignored me.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, coming into the kitchen. The table was clear, but I noticed the steamer on the range. Water vapor gathered around the edges of the lid like miniature clouds. I glanced back at Kurama as I moved toward the steamer to see what was inside.

"Of course not." His tone was light, but his eyes told a different story.

I decided to ignore it since Hiei was there. Picking up the lid, I saw that he had put the spinach in there, and had apparently forgotten about it. I cursed and quickly turned off the gas, leaving the lid off so the steam would escape. "You nearly overcooked the spinach," I informed him imperiously. "I will not eat overcooked vegetables."

He turned to give me a slightly amused look. "No need to be picky Alice."

I decided to continue the joke since he seemed to be getting a kick out of it. "Picky? Who's picky? I'm French, I'll have you know."

"But your name sounds so English, and didn't you tell me you were American?"

I felt my mouth twitch. "My mother was a bit old-fashioned with first names. My last name is - or was - Regnier. My middle name was Brigitte - after my paternal grandmother."

He gave me a slight smile. "I see. Even as an American you are a Frenchwoman."

I turned back to the spinach, turning it over with a spoon. "Mostly, anyway. Did you happen to start any rice?"

"It's in the cooker to your right," he murmured, turning back to Hiei, who was staring at me.

I blinked at the fire demon. "What?"

His bright red eyes looked amused, along with the cemented superiority he always had when he looked at me. The side of his mouth pulled into a smirk. "You're preening. What is so deliriously wonderful about being French?"

I gaped at him and scowled. "My people," I began, hand tightening around the spoon I held, "practically invented fashion, food, ballet, theatre, philosophy, and comebacks."

Kurama tried not to laugh, but failed miserably.

Hiei only raised an eyebrow. "Comebacks."

Kurama read more into his one-worded statement than I did. "Yes, Hiei, the French are most stereotyped for their frigidness. Too many people have been on the receiving end of their discourtesy, so that's where it comes from. Actually, it's because the French are more reserved than most Europeans and generally do not talk about their personal lives - tourists that try to get them to talk about themselves come to find how rude the French can be."

"Precisely," I agreed primly, taking the left over tofu out of the fridge. I had marinated it in a sweet and spicy sauce the other day and I was hoping the flavors had soaked into it even more. "We are a hot-blooded people."

Hiei scoffed. "Blood, heritage, both are meaningless. The only thing that matters is the present - why do humans insist on living in the past?"

I pulled out a pan to reheat the tofu in. "You would be surprised at how not having someone waiting to kill you at every corner lets you live. But then again," I mused, thinking of myself and Shiori as I dumped the tofu in the oiled pan, "death can come barreling in at any moment and point a gun to your face, or make you fall ill. I guess the difference between demons and humans is that I'm going to die anyway. Even if I don't get hurt, or sick, or murdered, I'm going to die of old age. And that is inevitable." I stirred the tofu.

"For you humans, death is at every corner. Your bodies are so weak and pathetic - we see it all the time in the Makai. Humans who manage to haplessly find their way across the barriers die within a couple of days of breathing in the toxic air - that is, if they aren't eaten first." His tone sounded smug. "How do you humans cope with the knowledge that you could drop dead at any moment?"

"We ignore it," I answered flatly. His smugness was irritating me.

"Tch. Further proof that humans are stupid."

I almost snapped and whirled around to throttle him, but only iron-clad control kept me standing at the stove until the tofu was warm enough to eat.

"Your body heat is rising," Hiei commented offhandedly.

"It's only because I find you incredibly sexy Hiei," I deadpanned, knowing that my blood pressure was soaring, and I turned around to savor his startled expression. "Can't you see me blushing?"

Kurama snorted and looked away, hand covering his mouth.

His widened eyes narrowed and his open mouth closed with a click of his teeth. He went from surprised to angry in a space of one millisecond. "I do not find you amusing in the least -"

"Clearly you do," I snapped, cutting him off. "Otherwise you wouldn't spend so much time trying to rile me up. Jokes at your expense aren't funny? Too bad. If you insist on insulting my intelligence, insulting my race, and insulting my species, you'll have to put up with them. Otherwise," and I said, my eyes flashing blue thunderbolts at him, "you can just get the fuck out of my kitchen."

His only reply was a scoff and I knew that I had won this round. He wouldn't try to physically attack me while Kurama was there, and he obviously had some business with him, so he couldn't leave yet either. Oddly, Hiei didn't seem all that angry with me - more like subdued.

Kurama cleared his throat and looked around at me when I glanced at him. "Alice, Hiei and I have something to discuss privately. Would you mind eating elsewhere?"

I stared at him. "Are you trying to be funny?"

He looked confused and then remembered that I told Hiei to get out of "my" kitchen. An amused look passed over his features like a puffy cloud. He turned back to Hiei as I uncovered the rice cooker. "Let's go upstairs, Hiei. I'm sure we're only in Alice's way."

That's what I thought, bitch.

Kurama left me no clues as to what he was up to. I didn't bother asking Hiei. I was sitting at my desk tapping my pencil against one of my textbooks, trying to remember anything, anything at all about what was going on. I had liked Yu Yu Hakusho in my last life, but bookstores rarely kept it in stock since it was older, and buying the anime would have been pricey. I did manage to read through the entire series once though - it was a frustrating process. YuGiOh! had taken up most of the 'Y' shelf at Barnes and Noble, and they never had all of the Yu Yu Hakusho volumes at once. Anyway, because of that, I didn't have as much information as I liked.

I rubbed my temple and laid my head down on my desk. I was getting a headache. If I rested for a moment, I would be fine.

I found myself thinking about Hiei for some reason, wondering what it was like to be so fast you were a blur. I imagined him racing through the trees, lithe body twisting in all sorts of acrobatic ways, weaving through limbs like a needle and thread. I closed my eyes and the image became more solid, and I noticed he had a sword in his hand. It wasn't his usual katana, but instead a straighter blade. And the handle was a warped mimicry of a brown dragon, pointy teeth flashing at the end, frightening almost, with a hint of what sort of power the sword held -

OhmyGodOhmyGod, I thought, snapping up. The rest of the memory completed itself in a split second: Hiei swung the sword at a tree and a demon popped out of the wood, Goki laughed, Hiei was triumphant, and Kurama, hanging back in the shadows, had no reaction. The Forlorn Hope glinted in his hand, like the sword of a samurai about to commit seppuku.

That's right! I thought frantically, Kurama's going to use that mirror to exchange his life for Shiori's! I stood up, pacing around the room. A lot of thoughts went through my mind - they were jumbled, like laundry in the dryer, but there was a resounding what should I do? in the background. I didn't want to stop him, because I didn't want Shiori to die, but I wanted to stop him because I didn't want him to die either! Surely, surely there would be another way!

I found myself running out the door before I knew what I was doing. Outside, the clouds were dark and threatening and the air smelled like rain. I had a general idea of where they would be meeting up, and there was a chance that it was today. I tore down the street like a bat out of hell and I was inwardly grateful that my broken leg healed so well. The place I was thinking of was on the edge of town, about four miles away. It would take me about thirty minutes to get there.

Desperate running a lot different from my normal type of running. Most people run for exercise, or because they like it, but I run because it's the only way to keep my emotions from turning in on themselves and causing me to explode. I run because it makes me seem normal. I run because it drives out my demons. When I'm running, I'm usually running away from something.

Running toward something is a completely different feeling. The things that I usually feel - the stitch in my side, my burning muscles, my pounding heart - become more noticeable and irritating. I do not experience a runner's high like I normally do. Every movement, every step is grinding against everything I run for, like a mortar and pestle crushing coriander seeds.

Then the clouds broke and the rain poured fat, round drops. My hair and clothes were immediately drenched and stuck to my skin. The road I was running on turned steamy, pavement hot from the past few days of sunny summer weather. The rain was refreshing, cooling - a balm on chapped lips. I felt my energy pick up, a second wind, and I ran the last mile to the edge of town. The paved road turned into a gravel road, tiny rocks glittering in the rain, and then to a dirt road that met the woods.

Above the tall, trembling trees there was a clear and dazzling cone of sunlight shooting through the clouds.

My direction seemed obvious. The rain lightened up as I made my way through the woods, and I felt heavy again.

I sensed them about three-hundred meters away before I broke into the clearing. Kurama looked up at me in surprise, his forest green eyes growing wide as his arms unfolded and he pulled away from the tree he had been leaning on. Hiei was doing just as I remembered, flying through the trees and swinging that sword. He was either ignoring me or didn't notice me. Goki glanced at me, but didn't say anything as Kurama approached me. His grayish skin was disgusting.

"What are you doing here?" Kurama demanded softly. His hand clamped around my forearm and he yanked me closer to him, eyes boring down in mine.

I felt a surge of indignation. "What are you doing here?" I hissed. "What's going on?"

"This is perfect!" I heard Hiei crow. Kurama's eyes moved to follow him. "If the sword can make demons out of trees just think what it can do to humans! I say we go to the next big city and carve out a thousand of them! Imagine raising an entire -" he cut himself off when he saw me. And then his lips pulled back from his teeth in a mocking, wolfish grin. The sword was suddenly an inch from my throat and I heard a growl emit from Kurama's chest. Hiei ignored the warning, red eyes glittering with malice. "Now, Kurama, I know you like this little human, but surely you wouldn't mind this." The sword moved closer to my throat.

"Don't fuck with me, Hiei," I found myself hissing. My blood-pressure rose as I felt a wave of anger wash over me. My power felt like a tightly coiled cobra, ready to strike at any moment.

The same second the blade touched my neck, my energy surged forward and coiled around Hiei like a viridian vice. The sword fell from his hand onto the forest floor and his child-like face screwed up in pain as I squeezed him. He cursed and writhed, but he couldn't get free. I didn't intend to strip his powers, nor did I intend to kill him, so I let him fall to the ground.

He panted there for a second, on all fours, and then propped himself up on his knees. He looked up at me, red eyes assessing me. "You're stronger than I thought."

I felt myself give him a sweet smile. "You're a weak demon, Hiei. A high D-class at the most. Low-level demons don't have a chance against me."

He scoffed, pulling himself to his feet and picking up the sword. "You're full of yourself."

"A psychic, huh?" Goki said, looking like he wanted to eat me. "Those are delicious." Turns out he did.

I turned to him, folding my arms. I tipped my head to the side. "More like…exorcist." My powers didn't work on humans, so I didn't consider myself a real psychic - not like I was going to announce that in front of Hiei and Goki though. "Still want to eat me?"

"Enough of that," Hiei said, looking over the sword again. "After we build our demon army, we'll use the Forlorn Hope on the full moon to gain complete control, isn't that right, Kurama?"

Goki held up the spirit orb thingy. He gave a hacking laugh. "Ha! And then we can feed 'em souls if we need to with the Orb!"

Kurama's hand tightened around my arm. "Sorry, I must withdraw from this alliance." His other hand was in his pocket, but he looked as cool as a cucumber. I could sense his anxiousness from his hand though. My presence was an unknown variable, and that was probably adding to his tension.

"What?" Hiei demanded. "What's that supposed to mean? Surely you're not dropping out of the game when you've come this far?"

"Yes," Kurama answered simply.

"You coward!" Hiei spat. "Your years of living in the Ningenkai have made you just like them - spineless and ready to be walked on!" His shoulders were tense and angry, red eyes spitting fire.

Goki tipped his head to the side and held out his huge hand. "I don't give a flip if he leaves, but he's got no right to the loot. Give us the pretty mirror." His fingers waggled, urging Kurama to comply.

"No," he said, sounding almost gentle. "I have great need of it myself."

Goki made an amused sound and his stance changed. "All right," he said, pulling his gigantimungous fist back, "then I'll punch it outta ya!"

"Excuse me, neighbors!"

Goki's fist froze as everyone turned to the edge of the clearing.

I felt my mouth twitch into a smile as Urameshi Yusuke came into the clearing, cocky swagger and all. His green uniform was damp from the rain, but he wasn't as soaked as I was. He held a leafy branch above his head like an umbrella. He looked over all of us carefully, and I felt Kurama's hand tighten around my wrist.

"Couldn't help but notice there's no rain falling here - maybe the next time you guys go stealing some magic toys, you should hide where it's not so sunny. Just a tip."

"Who are you?" Hiei demanded. "And how do you know about the artifacts?"

"Give us your name," Goki grumbled, glaring.

Yusuke smirked. "Oh, thank you, I hoped you'd ask." He tossed his branch aside. "Hello, boys!" He glanced at me. "And girl," he added.

I held up my free hand and gave him my most sweetest, sheepish smile. "Oh, I'm not even involved in this. I just got caught in the rain!" I said and gave a tiny giggle.

Hiei looked nauseated.

Yusuke blinked. "Oh. Okay, then," he looked back at Kurama, Hiei, and Goki. "The name's Urameshi Yusuke and I'm a spirit detective."

"Spirit detective?" Goki muttered.

"Don't worry," Hiei said, practically sneering. "His just one of Koenma's fools. This must've been the only human they could round up - his spirit energy is pathetic."

Kurama suddenly turned around and tugged me along by my arm. I could see the wheels turning in his head.

"Hey!" Yusuke demanded. "Where d'you think you're going?"

"Sorry," Kurama replied, "I don't have time to be arrested."

I gave him a wave before I was tugged through the brush. "Nice to meet you, Yusuke!"

"Hey!" he yelled after us. "Jeez!"

"Stop Kurama!" I heard Hiei snarl as Kurama pulled me further into the woods. "You can't go back on our plan!"

"Run, Alice," Kurama urged, picking up the pace. "Hiei will be catching up to us shortly." I spat leaves out of my mouth as we ran through brush and into a more dense area. It's like the leaves were trying to make me eat them.

"What are you doing, Kurama? What did you steal?" I asked, pretending not to know. It made my stomach turn over in flip-flops.

He was quiet for a moment. "I took something that will save Mother's life. You don't need to know anymore than that."

I decided to play a game. "I had a premonition earlier. About you dying."

Kurama actually glanced back at me in surprise, and I gave him an I'm-not-stupid look.

"Wanna tell me more about this item? Hiei likes you too much to kill you, and Goki's too weak against you, so obviously it has to be whatever you stole. Something called the Forlorn Hope can't be good. What are you thinking?" I scoffed and yanked my hand out of his grasp - or tried to - he wouldn't let go. I gave up and we came to a stop.

He looked me over. "Are you cold? It's probably raining harder on the road."

"Don't change the subject."

His free hand went up and rubbed his face as he sighed. "Alice, this really isn't any of your business."

"The hell it isn't," I snapped, feeling my sinuses burn. "What am I…What am I supposed to do…" I could feel my eyes tear up and spill over. "What am I supposed to do if you die?" I said angrily, wiping my face. "Honestly. Why is it that I have to burst into fucking tears every time something like this comes up?" I demanded. "Can't you just do I want for once?"

His face was as unmovable as a mountain. "You have a fever, Alice."

"I do not!" I said shortly. "If my face is red it's because I ran five miles to get here, and you are sending my blood pressure through the roof!" I bit my lip and tried to shake off my emotions. "That mirror is going to kill you, isn't it?" I didn't wait for him to reply. "There has to be another way, Kurama. Do you really think that Shiori-san can be happy in a world in which you don't exist? Do you think a parent can ever see the world the same when their child is dead?" My body was trembling with the force of my contained emotions. I felt like an armed nuclear warhead. This was more personal to me because my own family had suffered that loss - my parents' lives would never be the same, my sisters could never hear my voice again. "Do you know how painful it is to never see your family again, Kurama?" I finally asked roughly.

"Don't, Alice." He turned away from me, shoving his hands back into his pockets. "Wouldn't you die for your mother? There's nothing, nothing, you can say to change my mind."

"So that's the secret behind the mirror's power, Kurama?" Hiei's flat voice came from above. I looked up and saw him standing on a branch overhanging us. "You have to die to get what you want?"

"Yes," he finally confirmed, not looking at either of us.

Hiei made sort of a rough 'huh' noise of acknowledgement and disappered.

"Are you sure…are you positive there isn't any other way?" I asked, wincing at how desperate my voice sounded.

He didn't move. "I'm positive. This is the only thing within anyone's ability to do."

I tried not to cry, really I did, but I just couldn't keep it in anymore. My body was shaking with sobs before I could stop it. Kurama's hands went around my wrists and pulled my hands from my face. His eyes held no emotion; cold and resigned. I looked away from him so I didn't have to see that expression.

"Don't cry, Alice." His voice was warm, clashing with his face. "Mother will still have you, after all. She won't be lonely."

There was nothing I could say to change his mind. There was no other way to save Shiori. Kurama was intent on dying.

Suddenly, his presence was too much for me. I ripped my arms out of his grasp and darted past him, shoving branches and foliage out of my way, leaving him behind. I couldn't hate him for what he was doing, but I couldn't love him for it either. My heart felt like it had been dropped in a blender.

After about three miles of running away, I got tired. I plopped down on a bench on the side of the paved road, listlessly watching the cars go by. The rain had stopped by now, but the air was still heavy and humid. I'm not sure how long I sat there before I saw Kurama's lean, magenta-uniformed figure came around the curving road. He approached me slowly, like I might bolt again, but I was too exhausted. I was used to running, but not seven miles.

He stopped right in front of me, hands in his pockets, looking down at me with concern. "Do you feel better?"

"Not really," I replied flatly, standing up, brushing myself off.

I suddenly found myself pressed against his chest, his warm arms wrapped around me. I hadn't even realized that I was cold until I felt myself melting into him. He was damp from the rain too, but he was hot underneath his clothes, like a space-heater. I was guessing his demonic energy kept him warmer, in addition to him being a guy. I found myself cuddling against him, not caring what the reasons were behind the sudden hug.

His hand came up and stroked my hair away from my face, and he pulled my chin up to look at him properly. His green eyes matched the trees in the haze behind him. His head dipped down, and his mouth was suddenly pressed against my forehead. His lips were soft and warm, and my eyes fell shut with the secret hope that he would kiss me again.

"Your forehead is warm," he murmured, pressing the inside of his wrist against my face. "I think you really do have a fever, Alice. We should get you home before it gets worse."

So he was just checking my forehead with that kiss. How sweet of him. I pulled back, knocking his hand away from me, annoyed. "I'm fine. Stop mother-henning me." I wouldn't let him see me disappointed, and I turned away and started walking off, wrapping my arms around myself. My clothes were freezing.

His arm went around my waist. I was promptly swung up into his arms and held against his chest. Assertive green eyes pinned my blue ones, and I found I had no desire to protest this treatment. His warm body was inviting, and I was very cold. "Let's go home this way," he said lightly. His serious face left no room for arguments, though, as he started walking.

"You're going to walk two miles with me in your arms?" I said doubtfully.

"Well, I could run, but that might make you colder."

I snorted, dropping my head on his slender shoulder. "I really hate you sometimes."

He looked down at me. "Are you angry with me?"

My eyes closed as a wave of drowsiness hit me. "No. I'm angry at the situation and I'm taking it out on you."

He chuckled. "Most people generally don't appreciate that kind of straightforwardness. I'm always taken aback when you say something like that. You really still retain your American manners, don't you?"

"Only with you," I retorted, glancing up at him before closing my eyes again. "You know me best. I don't see the harm in being brutally honest, occasionally. You know I don't mean to hurt anyone."

His arms tightened around me. "I suppose that's true. You still shouldn't joke about hating someone."

"But I'm not joking."

His green eyes locked into mine. "I highly doubt that, Alice. I admit that you are unreadable at times, even when you're feeling some strong emotion, but your feelings toward me are clear. You obviously cherish me as though we were stranded together on a deserted island. Without each other, we would be lonely, because we are the only ones that can understand our situations. Am I close?"

I pressed my face against his neck in response. "As usual, you are infuriatingly correct."

I was sick with a fever for the next two days. I didn't go to school - probably even if I weren't sick I wouldn't go - I just laid in bed all day and night and dozed. Kurama brought me some sort of rice gruel and willow bark tea; neither of which were spicy, oddly. I wondered if he wasn't as absentminded as I thought when he cooked, and just did it on purpose to annoy me.

My fever broke by the third day, and I finally rolled out of bed. I took a bath and went downstairs to get something to eat. Kurama wasn't around - probably at school, I hoped. I puttered around the kitchen like an old lady, slicing a block of tofu and dropping in a frying pan. I seasoned it with soy sauce, hickory flavor, and garlic and ginger. It was done in about fifteen minutes. I took the tofu out of the pan and sautéed some spinach in the leftover seasonings. With some rice from the rice cooker, my brunch was complete.

I passed the rest of the day lazily - changing my bed-sheets and cleaning up the kitchen were the most strenuous things I did. I watched TV for a bit, read, and played the piano until Kurama got home.

"Welcome back!" I called when I heard the door open. I got up from the piano and wandered into the entryway to find Kurama taking off his shoes.

He looked up at me, a pained look flashing across his face. He immediately smiled. "I'm home, Alice," he returned. Straightening up, he looked me over. "Are you feeling better?"

I nodded and frowned. "Are you okay?"

He blinked and smiled. "I'm fine. Here, this is the work you've missed these last few days," he said pulling a folder out of his bag and handing it to me. "We don't have any tests until next week, so you should have plenty of time to prepare."

I opened the folder, looking over the worksheets and the notes in Kurama's pointy, neat handwriting. "I'll take it upstairs," I murmured, turning to go up the stairs.

Kurama followed me as I flipped through the folder, making note of all the assignments. He went into his room and put the his bag away, and I just dropped the folder on my desk before glancing at my calendar above it.

I froze.

Today's date…was the full moon of this month. Didn't Hiei say that when the moon was full that the mirror would be able to be used? I bit my lip and ran out into the hallway and stopped at Kurama's open door.

He looked up at me from pulling his books out of his bag. "Is something wrong, Alice?" His green eyes were concerned as he stopped what he was doing and set the bag down. "Are you sure you're feeling better? You look very pale."

"Tonight…is the full moon," I forced out, gripping the sides of the doorway. "I just saw it on the calendar and that means - that means -"

"I'm actually surprised that you haven't been keeping track of it, Alice," he said, shifting his weight and angling himself toward me. "You knew that this was coming. How long did you think I had?" His tone was almost bored.

"Stop it," I hissed at him.

He looked surprised. "Stop what?"

"Stop acting like you don't give a damn! You're being cold and impassive, and I hate it when you're like this! I don't know if you're just trying to protect yourself or me or what, but just stop it!" I exploded, hitting the side of the door panel. "You can be upset if you want to, I don't care, but I don't like this," I seethed, indicating to his stoic expression.

He frowned, approaching me. "Why does it matter to you, Alice?" his tone held a note of anger in it. "We've known each other for six years, but we barely know each other. What difference does it make to you?"

I think my mouth actually dropped open in shock. "Are you fucking kidding me? Can you really, really not see how much I care about you?" I demanded. His eyes widened at my words in surprise. "I've never actually said so," I continued, advancing on him until we were almost face to face, "but I always thought it was pretty obvious."

"Perhaps," he murmured, looking away, "something like that has to be heard directly to be believed." He turned back to me, green eyes overwhelmed with some emotion I couldn't identify. It wasn't exactly happiness or pain, but it made his hand clench into fists. "Alice, I'm not…a good person. I'm cruel and selfish, but if I can do something, anything, to redeem myself just a little - I'll do it."

I murmured his name, trying to think of something to say, and his mouth suddenly went over mine. The kiss was urgent, almost desperate, and took me completely by surprise. One of his hands cradled the back of my head, tipping my face up to meet his, and I returned his urgency, gripping the front of his uniform. I felt like I'd been waiting for him to kiss me for ages.

He pulled back. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I -"

I yanked him down and crashed my lips against his. His mouth moved with mine, and his hands moved to my waist, and he pulled me flush against him. My stomach swooped with each movement of his lips. I could feel his vulnerability in his kiss, like he wanted me to save him, but the only thing I could do was kiss him more deeply.

He finally pulled away, cupping my cheek and resting his forehead on mine. "I have to go," he murmured. "I'm meeting someone. I'm sorry," he said again. "I shouldn't have done that."

"I wanted it," I replied, not sorry at all.

He gave me a pained half-smile and pressed another kiss to my lips. "Still, it isn't right." His eyes were sad. "It isn't fair to you." He pulled away from my grasp and turned toward the door. He didn't look back. "Goodbye, Alice."