When Riza took Edward home, she was greeted by her father sitting on the front porch of the house.
"You're up?" was the first thing she said, surprised that he had managed to sit up, let alone walk all the way out of the house.
"I wanted to meet my grandchild… at least once before… before you hide him away from me." Berthold said, his voice straining from the effort of talking.
Riza frowned, unable to say anything as that had been her intention exactly. Ever since that night he had carved that array into her skin, Riza had lost all trust in her father and didn't intend for him ever to lay eyes on her child.
"His name is Edward" she told him.
Berthold held his hands out to hold the baby briefly but retracted them when he realised Riza wasn't going to let him touch him.
"You're not going to be able to keep him."
"You can't make me do anything" Riza said defiantly, pushing past the sick man to enter the house.
"That's not what I meant," Berthold called after her, "you don't even have a crib, Riza."
She was getting used to ignoring her father.
"Please stop crying" Riza begged the baby in her arms. "Hush... It's okay" it felt like she had been repeating the same words for hours now.
No one told her how hard this was going to be.
She had fed and changed Ed twice, even though there was no need for it and he was still crying.
Riza bounced the child in her arms, hoping the movements would lull him into sleep somehow.
"Come on Edward, give mummy a break… shhh"
Edward only cried louder, flailing his little fists around and accidentally hitting his mother in the process.
"Calm down, honey… it's okay"
At this point Riza felt more like she was trying to assure herself.
Maybe her father was right. She couldn't do this on her own.
Roy,
You have a child.
That was too direct, even for her.
Riza sighed, leaning back on the desk to watch Edward squirming on the bed.
For a baby of only a few weeks old, he sure was restless. Even while he napped, he was moving. Riza had a horrible feeling he was going to be a trouble-maker.
The last few weeks had been some of the most challenging in her life. Between caring for a newborn and (begrudgingly) tending to her father, Riza was constantly exhausted, and though she didn't want to admit it, her time was running out. She either needed some help, or to give up Edward up. And she really didn't want to lose her baby.
Roy,
I know that when you receive this, you'll probably hate me a bit. Probably forever. I've kept a huge, horrible secret from you and that's not fair of me. My intention was always to protect you, but you deserve a chance to make that choice for yourself.
We have a baby. I found out that I was pregnant a little after you left and didn't want to distract you, but I really need some help. His name is Edward, and I love him, but he's a handful. He deserves two parents. I hope-
Suddenly, a loud bang echoed throughout the room, followed by a shrill scream.
Riza whipped her head around and almost screamed herself as she saw Edward lying inches away from a fallen shelf.
She instantly jumped up, grabbing Edward and holding him close to her as he cried. After inspecting the shelf, she found that the screws must have been coming loose for a while and simply finally gave out.
"Riza!" the young girl winced as she heard her father's weak voice yell throughout the house. Sighing, she following the sound to his room, waiting in the doorway.
Berthold looked up at her with sad eyes as Edward continued crying against her chest.
"Riza it's two in the morning" he said matter-of-factly.
Riza glanced up at the clock in doubt.
She hadn't even noticed.
"O-oh."
Berthold sighed. "That kid can do better than you and that idiot Mustang, and you know it."
Riza blinked back tears, looking away from her father who, even when bedridden, could reduce her to nothing in an instant, to her son who she wanted so desperately to be strong for.
"Stop being so selfish."
Deep down, Riza had always known this would happen.
She felt like crying as she entered the adoption agency with Edward on her hip, but she continued to remind herself that it was for his own good.
"We do our absolute best to find loving, healthy homes for all children" one of the workers was explaining, "there are quite a few families looking for a baby, so I'm sure this cutie will be adopted in no time!"
Riza gave the woman a weak smile but couldn't help tightening her grip on Edward. At two months old, he had certainly grown more into his features and was indeed an adorable baby.
In truth, Riza never wanted to give him up, and it broke her heart that she would have to leave him soon. He already recognised her as his mother and was becoming quite attached to her, and she couldn't help but imagine him with his new family, confused and wondering where his real mother was.
"Can I see some of the files?" she asked the woman politely.
"Of course."
All of the families looked like loving, stable couples, but one that stood out to Riza was a woman called Trisha Elric. She reminded Riza somewhat of her own mother, with a kind face and warm aura, clear even through the photograph. For some reason, she really stuck out from the others.
"Where's Resembool?" Riza wondered aloud.
"It's a small rural community in the South East region. Are you interested in the Elric family?"
Riza looked down at her son, who was disinterestedly gazing at the woman's picture. "Yeah. Is there any way I could meet with them?
Though it wasn't common practise, the adoption agency did allow meetings between biological and potential adoptive parents, and so a train ride was booked for Riza soon after. With no one but her father to look after Edward, Riza packed up both their things and left her father a couple of meals.
The train ride to Resembool was longer than expected, and Riza eventually ended up falling asleep with Edward. She supposed that was a good thing – the further away he was, the less likely they were to meet again.
It was nice to see the place her son would grow up in. It was very green, and seemed to be neighbourly, based on the amount of strangers who smiled and waved at her.
The Elric home was on a sizeable piece of land where Edward could play, and surrounded by nearby homes, ensuring he'd have friends. Nothing like their home, small and hidden away from the rest of town. Resembool was everything Riza wished she'd had as a child.
Sighing, the young girl decided to face reality and knocked on the door.
The front door opened, revealing the young brunette Riza knew must be Trisha.
"Trisha Elric?"
As she laid eyes on Edward, who was craning his neck to look at all the scenery, Trisha beamed and opened the door wide.
"Oh, you must be Miss Hawkeye! Please, come in, come in!"
Riza entered, feeling a little awkward and out of place as she stood in the foyer of this kind woman's home.
"Is this Edward?" Trisha cooed.
"Ah, yeah" Riza said uneasily, not wanting to pass him over so quickly. "I'm sorry, could we talk first?"
Trisha gave her a warm, understanding smile. "Of course."
She led Riza into a small sitting room and invited her to join her on the sofa.
"Is Edward your son? How old are you?" Trisha inquired, not unkindly, but rather curiously.
"I'm seventeen, and yes, he's mine" Riza replied, unintentionally sounding a little protective.
Again, Trisha simply smiled. "He's just darling."
"Thank you" Riza couldn't help but say, proud of her son. "So, um," she said, trying to put the conversation back on track, "why are you interested in adopting?"
"My partner and I were told there is a very slim chance of conceiving our own children. It's been several years now and still no baby" she gave Riza a sad sort of smile. "But I don't care if a child is mine biologically or not, I just want a beautiful baby to raise and love like my own."
"I'm sorry to hear that" Riza said. It did seem rather unfair to her that such a caring, capable woman would struggle having children while she had been burdened with one at such a young an age.
"If you don't mind me asking, what made you decide to give this little one up for adoption? I can't imagine the stress you must be going through" Trisha added, shooting Riza a sympathetic look.
"I'm seventeen" she explained simply. "I love Edward, and want him to have a good life… and I can't provide that for him."
As if to accentuate her point, Edward suddenly started crying, looking up at Riza with his big gold eyes, almost like a plea.
"What's wrong, Edward?" Riza cooed, bringing him up to eye-level. He didn't need a diaper change. "Are you hungry?" she tried to bring him closer to her chest, but he just screamed and turned away from her unhappily.
"May I?" Trisha held her arms out with a smile.
Gulping, Riza reluctantly passed her baby over to Trisha.
The older woman started bouncing him and cooed as his wails slowly ceased.
"There we go… you're such a good boy, Edward!" Trisha praised as Ed went silent and instead began inspecting the stranger holding him.
Riza did her best to hold back her tears.
"I have all of the official documents here; all we need to do is sign them."
Riza nodded as the man Trisha called Van indicated to the different papers.
Most of the documents were wordy and long, but they all represented the same thing to Riza: she was losing her child.
It physically pained her to sign her name so many times. It seemed surreal that something as flimsy as a signature could strip her of all parental rights.
"You missed this one, Miss Hawkeye" Hohenheim pointed out. "Would you like to be contactable throughout Edward's life? Should he ever need medical information or want to contact you."
Riza froze. It was so tempting.
She shouldn't. She was doing this to keep Edward out of her life.
But what if he needed her? What if something happened to him? She couldn't not know.
"I… suppose, yes. That's fine."
"Great… one last signature and… we're parents!" Trisha exclaimed happily, snuggling into Hohenheim's arm. "Isn't that great, Van!"
As the two celebrated quietly, Riza silently moved to the sofa where Edward was sitting, playing with some sort of toy
"Hey, baby" she said softly, reaching out to stroke his cheeks.
Edward smiled up at her and held his toy out.
Riza chuckled. "That's great, sweetie. You're going to be very happy here, aren't you?"
"Miss Hawkeye?" she turned to see Trisha and Hohenheim watching her, a pitying look plastered across both their faces.
"Can I just have a minute, please?" she practically begged.
Trisha nodded and escorted her lover out of the room before he could say anything.
Turning back to face her son, Riza reached out to hug him properly, almost sobbing when the child threw his arms around her neck too.
"Goodbye, Edward" Riza sniffed tearfully. "I love you."
The blonde-haired baby simply grinned up at her, snuggling further into her chest, no idea of the significance this embrace held for his mother.
Biological mother. Riza wasn't his 'mum' anymore.
"I know you're going to grow up with amazing parents and be big and strong and happy" she told the baby, tears freely flowing down her face now. "If you ever want to find me, you're allowed to do that, okay?" she paused as if Edward would answer her. "I love you" she whispered one final time.
Riza practically ran to the train station and caught the first ride out of Risembool. She spent the long train ride crying, mourning the loss of her still living child, hoping to return home with a fresh attitude, a different outlook on life.
Unfortunately, fate had a very different idea.
When she returned to her childhood home, it was to the picture of the man she loved and had prayed to return to her for months, crying over her fathers' lifeless body.
She stood in the doorway, watching, for what felt like hours, unable to comprehend the scene before her.
"Riza… I'm sorry… should've come sooner" Roy sobbed, mourning the loss of his mentor.
Riza stared at him with blank eyes, the irony of his timing physically painful. "Yeah, you should have" she said coldly.