Alice Alive

By, KKYOKO

Chapter Fifteen: Since I've Been Loving You

We were running up another tower of stairs when Kuwabara suddenly stopped, a pained looked on his face.

"What now?" Yusuke demanded. "Got cramps?"

Kuwabara ignored him. "My whole brain just felt like an ice cube. Something bad's happening - I think back on Earth." His face was pale, and his jaw was clenched.

Kurama and I exchanged a worried look. "No telling how long we've been here," he said. "The Beasts have most likely organized a counterassault, using the Makai."

"Only one more," Hiei said, looking up at us because he was on a lower step. "Let's not waste time."

We nodded and continued running. It was not the type of running that I was used to, since I don't normally run up stairs, so it was a little grueling, but I was still able to keep up with all of the guys. I patterned my breathing to breathe in the most efficient way possible, and then something Kurama said made me frown.

"What do you mean," I asked Kurama, "that there's no telling how long we've been here?" I pulled back my sleeve and showed him my watch. "We've been here four hours."

Kurama shook his head, pressing his lips together. "Time moves differently here, Alice. I can't really explain it all now, but I'm estimating that we've been gone from the Ningenkai for several days."

"What?" I yelled.

Kurama winced. "It'll be all right."

"What are we supposed to tell Shiori-san?" I asked, trying to calm myself down.

"It wasn't my intention to tell her anything," he said, frowning with a glimmer of something behind his green eyes. "It would be best if she just forgot that we were gone."

I frowned. "What do you mean? Are you going to do what you did to Kitajima?"

He nodded. "More or less."

"What about school?"

"We went away for a couple of days to visit our ailing grandmother," Kurama said, giving me a slight smile. "I can mimic Mother's handwriting and forge her signature on a note. It's likely we'll have to do extra work because we missed class, but otherwise, I hardly doubt we'll run into trouble there."

I sighed. I should have known Kurama would have everything sorted out already - you could always trust him to have a plan. But, still, the situation sucked, and while being here was important to me, I still wanted to be home. I missed my dog. I never was able to bring him doggy-noms.

We came to the end of the stairs, and onto another platform in the air. Up ahead was the tower of the castle and we ran faster now that it was in sight. The churning red sky above us crackled with thunder, and flashed with yellow lightning. The air was filled with demonic energy, but I could still pinpoint the boss's location in the Tin Man's hat.

Yusuke's communicator rang again. He pulled it out, snapping, "What now?"

"Small problem," Botan's voice said.

"Ah! Keiko!" Yusuke yelped.

"I had to pick her up from school, Yusuke. It seems that every infected person in the area is looking for her."

We stopped in our tracks. "What?" Yusuke asked, shocked.

"And I don't think they want to talk. I'm almost certain they mean to kill her!"

"Oh, shit," I muttered.

"Did you say kill?" Yusuke demanded.

"So that's what my premonition was," Kuwabara said.

"The Beasts must be using the Makai whistle to -" She was cut off.

"Botan! Are you there? Botan!"

"What happened?" I asked, peering to see the screen. It was covered in snow. The call was dropped. "Shitty reception, maybe?"

Yusuke shook his head, shutting the communicator and dropping it back in his pocket. "No, something's wrong."

"Yeah, I don't have a good feeling about this," Kuwabara said.

Yusuke was grim and fierce all at once. "We've gotta smash that whistle as fast as we can." He tensed and then took off running again, and we followed immediately. Even though I didn't personally know Keiko, and I didn't particularly care for her in the series because she was really high-strung (should I be talking though?), I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. She was a very nice girl, and she didn't deserve to be attacked.

Finally, we reached the tower and stopped, examining it. Lightning flashed behind us, making the Tin Man look evil.

"Okay guys, that is a spooky watchtower," Kuwabara commented.

"The last Beast should be on the top floor," Kurama offered.

"Then let's climb some stairs," Yusuke said roughly, taking a step. He stopped suddenly though, shoulders tense.

I saw the problem immediately. On either side of the tower, there were stone hoods that probably covered a staircase or a hole in the ground, and out from one of them came a green man. This green man was covered in green scaly skin and had a dead look on his face. He had no demonic energy, which I didn't believe at first, but then I tried wrapping my viridian coils around him, but nothing happened.

He was a human.

And he had friends. Lots of them. They came from both of the stone hoods and stood in front of the tower's doorway, moaning like zombies.

My heart picked up the pace and I quickly whipped around to Kurama, with wide eyes. "They aren't zombies, are they?"

He blinked, and then shook his head. "No, Alice. They're alive."

I put a hand over my chest to calm my racing heart. The zombie concept excited me and terrified me all at the same time. "That's good, because I didn't bring a shotgun," I joked.

Kuwabara was taken aback. "Whatever those guys are, there sure are a lot of them. It's gonna take a year to beat them all."

"Yes, considering our time restraints, this could be a real problem," Kurama said with a dark look in his green eyes.

Hiei answered the question on everyone's mind. "I've had dealings with cultivated humans before. They don't feel pain or fear."

"How twisted do you have to be to turn humans into monsters like that?" Kuwabara demanded. "I think Keiko's in some serious trouble."

Yusuke got angry. "Like hell she is! Stupid monster-humans trying to slow us down! I'm blowing them all away with my shotgun!" he yelled, muscles taut, and pulling his fist back to release his technique.

Kurama stopped him by grabbing his shoulder. "Let's use our heads."

"What? You want me to head-butt them?"

Facepalm.

"It isn't wise to use your energy. The more impatient we are, the more mistakes we'll make," Kurama said, ignoring him.

"Well, how is head-butting gonna help? My shotgun is the only way to get past them!"

"No," Hiei said, looking at the tower carefully.

"So, you got an idea?" Kuwabara asked, as we turned to face him.

Hiei nodded, with a very serious look on his face. Walking past us, he pointed to the tower. "Set your eyes on the first tower window. That is your door."

Yusuke was annoyed. "Well I'm sorry, Mr. Mysterious, but as it turns out I forgot to bring my pogo stick."

"Yeah, how do you expect him to jump that high?" Kuwabara asked.

"I'll need you to listen closely," Hiei said, turning back to us. His stoplight red eyes were serious as he sized us up. "We're going to make a ladder for Yusuke to climb."

"Uhh, I don't see any wood around here, shorty," Kuwabara said, raising an eyebrow.

"We'll be using ourselves as the ladder, you fool," Hiei snapped, an annoyed expression on his face. "Your job will be to blast past these cultivated humans and ground yourself five meters away from the tower wall. Kurama will be next, then me, and then Alice. Yusuke will be taking a running jump at us and will use our backs to step off of. He should reach the window without a problem."

"Um, I'm at the top?" I asked, biting my lip. "About sixteen or seventeen feet in the air, with no way to catch myself if I fall? And how I'm I supposed to get up there anyway?"

Hiei looked at me, red eyes unreadable. "You'll be sitting on my shoulders. And I won't let you fall, you stupid girl." He turned to Kuwabara. "You'll be carrying about 360 pounds for about four seconds. Can you handle that, human?"

Kuwabara's mouth worked open and closed for a moment, as his brows furrowed, insulted. "Of course I can, you shrimp! I just gotta use my legs and not my back!"

Hiei's eyes turned to Kurama in a silent question, and Kurama nodded. "I'll be fine, Hiei. My wound will not hinder us."

I still really didn't want to be up that high, but I knew that I also wasn't strong enough to support even Hiei's weight - which after dissecting his math - I figured to be about 130 pounds. Why was my life so stupid?

Hiei crouched in front of me and I sighed, swinging one leg over his shoulder and then the other. I was glad that I was wearing jeans as I tucked my feet under his arms and pressed the top of my shoes to his shoulder blades. He got to his feet and I felt myself sway immediately, which I countered by curling over his head.

He looked up at me, scowling. "You need to keep your back straight."

"Then you need to give me your hands so that I can steady myself," I retorted. He caught my hands and pushed up, forcing me to straighten my back and become taller than Kuwabara, who I grinned down at. "Hey, kid."

"Alice, you're only a year older than I am. I don't think you can call me 'kid'."

I laughed at him. "You're up."

"You'd better not blow this, Kuwabara," Yusuke said, frowning.

Kuwabara walked ahead crouched down. "Don't worry, I'm like an ox!" With that, he took off and charged at the humanoids. Kurama followed him, and then Hiei shifted under me, and off we went as Yusuke took a deep breath, and he followed a few seconds after.

"Just do me one favor, guys! Try not to dig in with your shoes, okay?" Kuwabara requested as we ran after him.

"Hey, shut up and keep running!" Yusuke yelled at him.

Kuwabara bowled into the humanoids, knocking over about twenty of them, and planted his feet firmly on the ground, preparing to take our weight. "All right!" he shouted.

Kurama leapt onto Kuwabara's back, standing carefully on his shoulders. Kuwabara buckled for a second, but then straightened, slightly. Kurama stayed as balanced as a cat.

Hiei and I were next, and I tightened my grip around his hands as he leapt off of Kuwabara's spine and landed nimbly on Kurama's shoulders. I was now really, really uncomfortably high in the air. I tightened my knees around Hiei's shoulders and tried very hard not to think.

I heard Yusuke yell, and then the us-ladder swayed dangerously, then I heard Kurama grunt, and then we all stabilized for a millisecond. Hiei suddenly pulled my hands down, yanking me over his head, and I felt Yusuke's foot contact Hiei's back.

And then his shoe dug into my thoracic vertebrae, and for one short second, I felt all of his weight and realized that Hiei had pulled me over him so that his head could take some of the impact from Yusuke's weight. I thought about the long-term neck problems he could have for that - but better him than me - especially because he was a demon. Anyway, Yusuke shot off my back and leapt toward the window.

As soon as he left the us-ladder, Hiei pulled me completely over his head, detaching my feet from his shoulders with insulting ease, and jumped off Kurama's back at the same time. He caught me around my middle and landed smoothly, while I suffered from a massive cardio infarction.

Kurama landed beside us, and looked up at Yusuke soaring toward the window. "It'll be close."

Yusuke made it however, meeting the window with his hands and pulling himself up into it with ease.

"We did it!" Kuwabara shouted happily from the ground. I realize he must have fallen on his face when we all jumped off of him. He got to his feet smoothly enough though, so he couldn't have been too hurt. I bet his back was going to be killing him tomorrow though. Matter of fact, my probably wouldn't feel so great either.

Yusuke laughed and looked down at us. "Remind me to join the cheerleading squad! You guys have fun with the veggie-heads!"

Kuwabara shook his fist at him. "Don't die on me! Okay?"

Yusuke gave him a thumbs up and disappeared from the window.

I looked around, grimacing when I saw we were surrounded by green men. I didn't even have like a crowbar or anything.

Kuwabara scoffed. "Poor guys. I'm gonna feel bad kicking your asses!" With that, he punched the nearest guy in the face and then moved onto the next one.

Kurama grabbed my wrist and tugged me out of a crack between the green men. They didn't really pick up on it very quickly, so their hands only wisped behind my hair, attempting too late to catch me. My heart fluttered when Kurama looked back at me to make sure I was all right, and I gave him a smile. He had pulled me to one of the stone hoods where the green men came out of.

"I want to put you on top of this. They shouldn't be able to reach you unless they learn from us and climb on top of each other," he said, with a light tone and a serious expression. "I'll help you up."

"Are you sure?" I asked him, eyeing the slash in his uniform. I still had no idea how bad his wound was.

His face was suddenly very close to mine, and he gave me a slight smile. "I'm positive. Don't worry about me." I felt his hands slip underneath my thighs and suddenly I was on top of the stone hood. I let out a surprised shriek and he laughed at me.

"Warn me next time, you jerk!" I scolded, leaning over to look down at him. I was well above his head now.

He looked amused. "I need to get back to Kuwabara and Hiei. I won't be far, so if you need me I'll be here right away."

"Kurama," I said slowly, glancing at the surrounding green men. I glanced back at him to see a look in his eyes, like the look of a deer caught in headlights. I wondered at that expression, but it was fleeting, and gone as soon as I saw it. He smiled politely and I continued. "I know these…things…aren't really any trouble for you, but don't push yourself too hard, okay?"

He looked aside, green eyes calculating the crowd. "You have nothing to be concerned about, Alice." His eyes found Hiei, who was slashing through the humanoids like a hurricane of flashing metal, red eyes, and black cloak. "I need to go. I can't allow Hiei and Kuwabara have all the fun, now can I?"

"No, I guess not," I answered.

He gave me a reassuring smile and dove into the fray immediately, taking out several surrounding humanoids with one swing of his whip. Their heads splattered on contact with the spiked weapon, and I grimaced again as my stomach rolled. I pressed my lips together firmly, and focused harder on the subtle movements of his back and wrist. I tried to watch him kill clinically, as if I were a doctor considering a cause of death, or if I were just watching a violent zombie movie.

A shot of blue light burst from the top of the Tin Man's hat, like a bullet shooting through a skull, chunks of concrete crumbling like brain matter. Cringing, I turned back to Kurama to see his whip send a green man soaring, like he barely noticed Yusuke's spirit gun. I'm certain he did though. Kurama was nothing if observant.

After awhile, Kuwabara must have gotten antsy, because he suddenly ran past my field of vision with his sword growing into a long pole. He then jammed one end into the ground and vaulted himself at the same window Yusuke went through. Unfortunately, he didn't even make it to the ledge, and crash-landed face first into the stone wall. I winced and watched as he scrabbled to hang on between the stone bricks.

"Kuwabara! What are you doing?" Kurama called up at him, standing below him.

"We've cleared a path to the entrance - quit fooling around!" Hiei snapped.

I looked around and realized that while I had been watching Kuwabara (who was now carefully edging himself down), Kurama and Hiei had taken care of the rest of the green men, and now they were all either dead or unconscious. I grimaced at the bodies and found Kurama watching me again. His look was calculating, but not necessarily cold, and he glanced back up at the tower and then back to me. Kuwabara jumped down finally, landing on his feet and looked at Kurama expectantly.

"Alice," Kurama said firmly, "you stay there where it's safe. There could be more of them in there. We won't be too long." He gave me a don't-argue look and dashed inside with Hiei. Kuwabara tossed me an apologetic glance and quickly followed after them.

I stared after them, slack-jawed and angry. I took a deep breath and calmed down though, pulling my knees to my chin and looking at my shoes. Obviously Kurama had his reasons (good ones, I thought grudgingly), but that didn't mean that I had to be happy with them. I huffed and looked up, watching the churning red and black sky, letting my thoughts wander. I wondered if Yusuke and Botan were all right.

I'm not sure how long I sat there before a brilliant blue light lit up the Tin Man's hat, blinding me so much that I had to close my eyes against it. It went away after a few beats of my heart and I opened my eyes again, wondering what caused it. I watched the tower curiously for a few more moments and waited.

The light shone again, brighter than before, and this time the tower shook with it. By the time I was able to look up properly, the top of the tower had crumbled in and pieces of concrete and rubble fell to the ground around me. Fires sprouted out, flashing a dangerous orange against a red sky. I bit my lip with worry, wondering how on earth they would get back down.

I waited for an hour. I know because I checked my watch, daydreamed about the horrible things that were probably happening to them, and then checked my watch again, and continued freaking out. Eventually, I dropped my head in my knees and fell into a half-sleep. I stayed like that for awhile.

"Alice?"

Kurama's voice sunk into my brain slowly, and I picked my head up, blinking drowsily down at him. My head felt fuzzy. Maybe I had been sleepier than I thought - or my brain was shutting down from the stress. Probably shutting down.

Kurama's eyes searched mine, sweeping over my face and body, examining me. His expression turned amused. "Shall I let you sleep a bit longer then?"

Hiei scoffed beside him, and I noticed that he was carrying an unconscious Yusuke in a fireman's lift. Kuwabara was also unconscious, but he was on the ground, propped against the stone hood I was sitting on top of.

I turned to Kurama, scooting over to the edge, still feeling thick-headed. "Don't make fun of me," I mumbled, holding my arms out to him and wiggling my fingers. "Help me down."

He made an amused sound as his hands went around my ankles and tugged. I immediately lost my precarious balance and fell forward, my mental fog clearing up in a split second, and he caught me around my waist. His arms dug uncomfortably underneath my ribcage, but I noticed how tightly he was holding me. Maybe he had been more concerned about everything than he let on.

Kurama's lips quirked into a smile and he set me down, but before I could think of anything else, a sound of a sharp wind cut through the air. It was accompanied by a static crackling and I turned and saw a green circle of light hovering about an inch off the ground. It was a pastel green and it was taller than Kuwabara. I stared at it for a minute and then turned back to Kurama curiously.

"Um?"

He smiled at me. "Koenma sent us a portal, Alice. We can get home much quicker this way."

"Oh." I stepped away from him and watched Hiei go into the portal. It slipped around him and Yusuke, and Kurama bent over and picked Kuwabara up with surprising ease for an injured person.

"Shall we go?" he asked expectantly, looking amused again.

"Just walk through it then?"

"That's the basic idea, yes."

I didn't appreciate the snarkiness, and that's probably why he said that - to get a reaction out of me. I ignored him though and clenched my jaw, stepping through the portal.

It felt exactly like walking into a breeze. It was cool and refreshing. I couldn't see much, the split second I was there, but everything had a green and swirly tint to it. My cells vibrated with the singing energy.

I took another step and found myself in a tall baby blue room, unfamiliar, yet familiar. Looking around, I saw there were obnoxious pink pillars and fake house plants in the corners. The décor was very Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Hiei nor Yusuke were there, but baby Koenma sat behind a wooden desk, watching me with his hands folded. I took him in - his big brown eyes, his chubby cheeks, and the tall, silly hat. I felt an urge to pinch his cheeks or something, but I restrained myself.

"Uh, hi," I said, guessing that Botan had told him about me.

He looked grim. "I imagine you're wondering why you're here, but let's wait for Kurama, hm?" He indicated to a plain wooden chair in front of his desk. "Take a seat. Tea?"

I pulled the chair back and sat down. "Sure. What's Kurama got to do with this?" I asked as he pushed a buzzer on his desk. George stuck his head in expectantly, and ducked out again when Koenma asked for tea.

Koenma turned back to me, frowning slightly. "It's not that he has anything to do with this per se, but he may have additional information, as he has slipped between worlds himself. Your situation and his are very similar."

"In some context, yes, but there are also major differences between us -"

Koenma was shaking his head. "I understand where you're coming from, but you two do have a lot in common. You both died, and you both traveled to another realm."

"But, Kurama's a demon, I'm a human. Also, this isn't a new body - it's just a younger version of the original one. I wasn't reborn like he was," I added.

He held up his hand as George came back with a rolling cart of tea. He set three places, one for Koenma, one for me, and one for the chair beside me. Koenma must have expected Kurama quickly, I assumed as George poured his tea. It would be cold if he didn't hurry. George left and Koenma turned back to me, serious.

"I would prefer to wait a bit longer, if you please," he said, dropping sugar into his tea. He pushed the milk toward me, but I shook my head. "It's soy," he said, giving me a knowing grin. "I've been keeping tabs on you for awhile, actually. I know quite a bit about your daily life thanks to the dog."

I blinked. "You mean Sitka?"

He nodded with exaggerated slowness, clearly proud of himself. "Kurama told you he was a messenger of the Reikai, didn't he? I gave him to Hiei to give you to. I find that Hiei is actually the only person you really trust, so I knew you would take the dog from him, no matter what Kurama told you. He wasn't happy about the dog at all." Koenma grinned through the mafuken.

I blinked at him again. "Hiei's the only person I trust?" I furrowed my brow. That wasn't true, was it?

Koenma shrugged. "I know what I see. Kurama doesn't seem all too happy about that either. Anyway, we aren't here to talk about your trust issues - Kurama's coming now."

The door swung open behind me and I turned and saw Kurama cross the threshold. His green eyes fell on me, and I noticed that he hadn't changed out of his tattered uniform yet. He had bandaged his middle though, I noticed through the hole that Genbu made. He smiled at Koenma and slipped into the chair beside me, picking up his teacup.

"Looks like I made it just in time," he observed. "The tea is still hot." He lifted his gaze to Koenma as he sipped, waiting.

Koenma's light mood disappeared immediately. The serious look didn't suit his baby face, I thought, as he turned to me. He cleared his throat. "This is a very rare situation. In actuality, we have only had two people before you cross over into this dimension - from the same dimension you appear to be from. At least, that's the number we have. It's possible there have been more, but we've only found them when they were involved with our people, like our spirit detectives, our reapers, or even our criminals," he said pointedly at Kurama, making light of our situation. Kurama smiled slightly, but his eyes were wary.

Koenma continued. "The previous cases have been more or less exactly like yours. They die, their souls search for the other side, and suddenly they're children again on this plane of existence." Here he became grim again. "The problem is, they were in their original bodies."

My hands curled into fists. "I'm afraid I don't understand," I said calmly, but I felt an incomprehensible feeling of dread.

He looked away. "We didn't even know it was a problem at first, until the first human that crossed over got very, very ill. We think it has something to do with the vibrations of your bodies. Your cellular structure wasn't designed for this world, you know. You're too dense, somehow. Eventually the life-force of the first human drained away, and he died at twenty-three years of age," Koenma said gently.

I felt Kurama tense beside me, but I just dropped my gaze into my lap. My clenched fists were trembling. "And the second human?" I asked.

Koenma's fingernails tapped against his desk, making a sharp tapping sound. "Well," he said thoughtfully, "by then we figured out we would need to alter her cellular structure in order to keep her alive. We developed a way to do that, but she wasn't interested in going through with the procedure. She had been elderly in her previous life, and I believe she was simply ready to move on. She passed on the same way the first human did, at twelve years of age."

Kurama set his teacup down. "What does the procedure entail, Koenma?" He gave the demigod a firm look.

His eyes met Kurama's in some solemn affirmation. "You know."

Kurama's mouth went hard. "Is that all you've been able to come up with? Surely there are other, more suitable options."

He shook his baby head sadly. "I'm afraid not. Not yet anyway." His eyes fell on me. "There's no telling when she'll get sick, so I suggest you two get your affairs in order."

I didn't understand what they were talking about. "So, am I dying or not?" I asked, frowning, trying to swallow down my dread.

Kurama sighed as he looked at me. "Koenma is saying that the only way to prevent your death is to change your cellular structure. The only way that we can possibly do that is by turning you into a demon."

I stared at them both. "That's the stupidest fucking thing I've ever heard."

Koenma looked insulted while Kurama hid a laugh behind a cough. Koenma's baby cheeks turned a bright red and his round eyes glared at me. "Look here missy, I'm doing what I can with what I have! If you don't want my help, then don't take it!"

"Well, what, do you expect me to be among humans with cat ears and a tail? Will I have purple bangs and green hair and chase laser beams? I mean, come on! That's just…so…so stupid." I pressed my fists into my lap firmly, scowling.

Koenma blinked at me and sputtered laughter. "What? Where on earth did you get that idea?" He doubled over as he giggled. "Really! Cat ears! Your appearance won't change at all, you know!"

I sat back. "Oh. Well then."

"How exactly does the procedure work, Koenma?" Kurama asked.

Koenma scratched his cheek as he looked up thoughtfully. "Well, it's a very long procedure, and it'll probably take about a week to complete. We'll have to keep her constantly wrapped up in a pool of demonic energy, but we have to be very delicate and slow about it. It's a very serious surgery."

"I see," Kurama murmured. He looked at me expectantly.

I turned my gaze back to my fists in my lap. "I don't want to be a demon," I said flatly.

Koenma frowned. "You don't have to make the decision right away. I understand you'll need time to get used to the idea. Keep in mind that when you fall ill though, you'll have about a month to live. So, just sleep on it, all right?"

I nodded, rubbing my temple and letting my hand drop back into my lap. I tried not to show any sort of emotion on my face and picked up my cool tea. I didn't want to think about turning into a demon right now, even though changing was probably inevitable. I glanced at Kurama, but his face was unreadable. His hand slid over my fist though, and I relaxed my hand, letting him intertwine our fingers. He was warm and comforting.

Koenma turned to Kurama. "By the way, one of the reasons I wanted you here was so that you could tell me more about crossing the barrier. Maybe there would be some correlation between your experiences, and we can figure out where to put up a kekkai or some sort of guard to prevent any more humans from Alice's universe crossing over."

Kurama frowned. "Koenma, I highly doubt our experiences are anything alike. For one, I didn't leave this dimension, I simply found a hole in the kekkai barrier between the Makai and Nigenkai. Alice's situation is completely different from mine."

"See?" I said, raising an eyebrow at Koenma.

Koenma frowned and opened his desk, taking out a note pad and a pen. He looked back up at me as he clicked the pen. "Then I'll need to hear everything about from the time you died to the time you appeared into this world. What was the situation around your death?" he asked, scribbling the question on his note pad.

Kurama turned to look at me curiously. I remembered that I still hadn't told him everything about that night. I sighed, setting down my teacup that I never drank from. "There was a man who had been stalking me. He killed me. I was twenty-two."

Koenma wrote it down clinically. "Why was he stalking you?"

"I had a pretty face," I answered, trying absorb Koenma's detachment. "Apparently, he had taken an interest in me at a bar a couple of weeks prior and bought me a few drinks. I didn't remember him, and I still don't really. He said that I hadn't given him the time of day. Probably because I knew he was a creep."

Koenma nodded, scribbling. "What happened on the night he killed you?"

I frowned, trying to remember. "Jenna and I went out for a drink…no wait - I think one of our friends was having a bachelorette party at a dance club…it's kinda fuzzy. She drove me home. We made plans to hang out later in the week. I remember hearing her laugh while she drove away." I stopped, swallowing. "Then I went into my apartment. My phone rang, but whoever was on the line hung up. I had a bad feeling about it, so I got up to lock the door, but he burst in before I could twist the lock. He knocked me down and pointed a gun to my head."

Kurama went very, very still. His hand was stiff, and it grew cold against my own.

Koenma cleared his throat. "All right, what did he say then?" He had grown a bit pale, and he looked down at his note pad like he wasn't really seeing it.

"He made a sexual proposition to me, and I rejected it," I said flatly. This wasn't easy to talk about, and I wanted to get it over as quickly as possible. "He threatened to shoot me, and I told him to pull the trigger - so he did."

Koenma stared at me with wide brown eyes. He slowly looked down at his pad. "I see." He cleared his throat again, trying to maintain professionalism, and wrote another note. "What do you remember after that?"

I frowned, trying to remember. "I remember floating."

"When you first appeared, Alice, you did mention that," Kurama said, form softening now that we had moved on. His thumb ran over the back of my hand. "You said that you had floated for awhile, and then you were suddenly here."

Koenma looked thoughtful as he scribbled on his note pad. "That doesn't give me much to go on, but I suppose it'll have to do for now. Tell the dog if you remember anything else."

I blinked. "Right."

Kurama pulled me to my feet. "If there's nothing else, Koenma, I think we'll go." His hand was firm around my own, leading me. I think he could sense the turmoil I felt. His green eyes were worried.

"Oh, certainly," Koenma said, glancing at me. "You know where the portal is, Kurama. I'll see you another time, Alice."

I gave him a weak smile and nodded, turning to Kurama's back. He pulled me through the door into a large blueberry blue hallway, where there was a familiar green, breezy circle at the end. He didn't give me any time to really look at the portal - not that I particularly wanted to - but instead tugged me through with a hurried force. There was that cool feeling again, and then we were on the other side, in Kurama's room. The portal disappeared behind us.

The lamp in his room turned the white ceiling orange, I noticed, looking up, as he examined my face. He picked up my chin with his fingertips, like he was holding a glass. His mouth pressed into a thoughtful frown. "Perhaps a bath would help clear your mind," he suggested. His eyes never left my face, green eyes seeming to intensify with every passing moment.

I pulled away from him and nodded. He let me go and I wandered out of his bedroom and down the hall to the bath. My thoughts were circling around and around, and I felt my eyes burn as I closed the bathroom door behind me. I pulled off my clothes and tossed them in the laundry basket, feeling cold. I turned on the shower and then washed my hair, scrubbing my fingertips into my scalp. I winced as I hit the bump on my head and rinsed the shampoo out. The hot water burned my skin as I pulled conditioner through my hair.

What am I gonna do?

After a moment I realized that I had just been standing mindlessly under the scalding hot water, and I moved to soap up my loofah, shaking myself. I couldn't just stand there and waste all the hot water. Kurama still needed a bath.

I finished washing and rinsing, and turned the shower off. I faced the tub at the end of the bathroom, not really caring to sit in there and mope until the water got cold, but I thought after all that running and fighting, Kurama might want to relax in the tub after his shower. I squeezed the water out of my hair and pulled a towel around me like a toga, and then bent over and plugged the drain and turned on the faucet.

Suddenly I burst into tears.

I mean, I felt like crying for awhile, but this was just completely uncontrollable. I had no idea I was so close to tears. Luckily, it was that silent crying so I didn't have to worry about anyone hearing me.

I was just really frustrated and disappointed. I felt like my whole life was stupid. What did I do to get such bad karma? Seriously, who dies, gets a second chance at life, and then is told that she'll die young again? Seriously. What the fuck? I must have cried for about two minutes, because the tub was full when I finally looked up again. I turned the water off, wiping my eyes with the end of the towel, and stood up. I really didn't want to become a demon. I didn't want to lose my humanity.

Maybe if I waited, Koenma would find another way to alter my cellular structure. I grew hopeful again.

There was a knock on the bathroom door. "Alice?" Kurama asked through the wood.

Making sure the towel covered me properly, I opened the door and looked up at him. His uncertain look turned into one of mild relief. He gave me a slight smile. "You were taking awhile," he said. "I just wanted to be sure you were all right."

"I…yeah. I'm done with the bath. I filled up the tub for you," I said opening the door all the way, allowing him to step in while I stepped out. I rubbed my face, feeling drowsy. "I'm going to sleep."

He caught my free arm, warm hand wrapping around my damp skin. I looked back at him, curious. "May I see your back?" he asked, brows knitting together.

I turned my back to him and loosened the towel, letting it drape to my waist. His hand lightly touched my spine and I winced.

"You appear to have a large bruise growing here. Likely it's from Hiei's idea of a human ladder for Yusuke," he murmured. He pulled the edge of the towel back up, and I tightened it around me. "I'll take care of it for you in a while." I looked back at him as he glanced at me and turned to close the door to the bathroom. He gave me a slight smile. "Thank you for filling up the tub for me."

"You're welcome," I replied, managing a small smile of my own. He closed the door and I went down the hall to my room. I wondered if Shiori was already asleep or if she was downstairs and working in her office. I didn't know what time it was. I glanced at my clock when I went into my room and saw that it was past midnight. I sighed as I closed my bedroom door, drying myself off with my towel as I went to my white wardrobe. I pulled open one of the drawers and took out undies and pajamas. I pulled the clothes on and wrapped my wet hair up in the towel like a turban.

Then I went to look for Sitka. However, as soon as I opened the door, he was right there in front of it. He gave me a happy dog grin and moved past me into my room. I blinked and closed the door behind him.

He sat and I crouched curiously in front of him. "Sitka," I asked. "Can you talk?"

He gave me another doggy grin. 'Yes.'

Kurama's face swam into focus above me. His damp hair stuck to my cheek, and his eyes were narrowed in a frown. "Did you fall, Alice?" he asked.

I squinted my eyes at him. "…what happened?" I tried to pick myself up, but Kurama didn't move out of my way, so I was stuck in an awkward half-sitting position. "Why am I on the floor?"

His hands wrapped around my shoulders and he pulled me up all the way, propping me against my bed frame. I felt a wave of dizziness and put my fingertips to my forehead. "Look up at me," Kurama said, silver pen light in hand. "Let me check your eyes." I obeyed and let him shine the pen light in my eyes. He frowned and turned it off, setting it to the side. He took my hand. "Squeeze my hand as hard as you can."

I did.

"I don't think you have a concussion," he murmured, examining my squeeze. I let go of him. "As to what happened, I came in and found you flat on your back. The dog was scratching at the door."

"The dog's name is Sitka," I muttered.

He gave me a patronizing smile. "How do you feel? Any nausea?"

I pushed away from him and got to my feet, pulling the loose towel off of my head. "No," I said, fluffing my damp hair. I picked my comb up from my vanity and raked it through my hair. "I'm fine."

He got to his feet, pulling his robe tighter around himself. He caught my wrist mid-stroke and turned my face to look at him. His green eyes snared mine and I found myself unable to look away. "Alice, I just want to know what you're thinking. You're putting a performance, pretending that you are perfectly fine, and I know very well that you're not."

I tried to pull away from him, but he wouldn't let go of me. I felt my mouth twitch with anger. "What do you want from me, Kurama? Is this just some sick game to you? Do you get off on giving me affection, caring about me, and then taking it all back?"

He froze and then slowly let go of me, looking down. "I see. Because I've hurt you, you don't trust me. I've suspected that for awhile, but I suppose this confirms it."

I turned to face the vanity's mirror, dragging the comb through my steadily drying hair. "What do you expect?" I muttered, not even sure of my own feelings.

I could see his hands clench into fists in the mirror. "I don't know," he replied. His voice was cool and controlled. "Would it be different if I were Hiei?"

I flung my comb at the wall and whirled around to face him. His accusatory tone infuriated me. His green eyes went wide at my sudden reaction, but I didn't give him time to say anything before I started shoving him toward my door. "Get out," I snapped. "Get out of my room, you stupid fucking moron! I hope you die, you son of a - urgh!"

Kurama had stopped against me shoving him, even though I was using my entire body weight to get him to the door, and caught my arms. His face looked relieved for some reason and I stiffened in surprise. "I'm glad," he murmured. "I prefer a furious reaction over a cold one. At least I know you feel something."

"You were trying to make me angry?" I demanded, feeling another wave of rage. "Do you think I'm dead inside or something?" I yanked my arms out of his grasp. "Stop toying with me, Kurama!"

"I'm not toying with you, Alice," he said, looking almost helpless. "I just…want to know that you're all right." His tone was uncertain, and my anger died down somewhat. "This isn't an easy situation for you, and if you're upset I'd like to know."

I felt my lips press together as I absorbed this. I sighed. "Of course I'm upset. I get to die young, again."

His thumb brushed my cheekbone. "You have a very hard decision to make."

"It can wait. I just don't want to be a demon, and if Koenma can find another way, I'll be happy."

His hand dropped back to his side and he examined me with darkened eyes. His expression said that he was thinking very seriously about something, but the storm clouds broke and he gave me an easy smile. "I hope he does too, Alice. But…" he looked away, and I could see the glimmer of the storm again, "if he doesn't…we'll have to prepare."

I bent down and scooped up my comb, wondering briefly if Kurama was actually jealous of Hiei. "Yeah," I said. "I know."

He gracefully changed the subject. "Do you remember anything before you fainted?"

I tapped the comb against my head. "Sitka…something about him I guess." I looked up and saw a flash of anger on Kurama's face. "What? What is your beef with my dog?"

The irritated look didn't disappear. "I simply do not trust him - even if he is from Koenma," he said flatly.

I huffed and got to my feet. "You don't trust anyone at first, do you?"

His mouth tightened. He didn't like it when I read into him like that.

I looked at my comb in my hand and found my thoughts turning to Kurama's feelings about me again. I wanted him to like me. I wanted him to care about me. I wanted him to love me so much.

"Are you all right?" Kurama asked, leaning over and looking at my face. "You're burning a hole in your comb."

I blinked and looked up at him. "Oh. I was just thinking." I stepped back and turned to my mirror, pulling the comb through my hair again.

"About?"

"I was wondering how long I was laying on the floor," I lied. "And then that kind of went to me wondering how much sleep debt I've accumulated."

I think he knew I was lying. He reached over and tugged one of my blonde curls like he was thinking of calling me out on it, but he didn't. "You must be very tired," he said finally. He took the comb out of my hand and made me sit down. He combed my hair thoughtfully, almost like he really wasn't seeing what he was doing, and fell silent for awhile. When he spoke again, it sounded like he had weighed every syllable and every letter of his words. "I realize that this is a lot for you, but I know you very well, Alice." He paused. "I don't think you'll make the decision in time."

I froze and turned to look back at him. His expression was solemn and he forest-green eyes were downcast. "Kurama, why would you think that?" I asked him, frowning.

"The fact that you have to think about it at all speaks volumes," he responded, voice taking on a certain sharpness. He leaned forward, wrapping one hand around the back of the chair, and the putting the other on the vanity. He crowded me with his arms, and trapped me with his eyes. "Tell me Alice, do you even want to live?"

"Of course I do, you nimrod," I retorted sharply, not appreciating his implication. "It's just really annoying that I have to be a demon to do it."

"Well, you do prefer to put off those really annoying things you don't want to do, Alice," he replied, unaffected by my insult. "If you don't make the decision for yourself, you can be very certain that I'll do it for you. I will force you into this procedure, even if you hate me for it."

I sat in shock for a moment. "You're very controlling, do you understand that? I am an adult, okay? I can make my own decisions. My decision is to wait until there's a better option." My fists clenched with anger. "You don't get to have any say in what I do. You are not my parent, you are not my boyfriend, and you sure as hell are not my brother - am I clear?"

His jaw tensed and he stared at me intently. "I do understand what you're saying, but what if there isn't a better option?"

"Then I'll wait until I get sick. Koenma said I had a month, and that's plenty of time for them to do whatever they need to do," I answered, watching him warily. I knew he was filing this away for himself. Likely, he would take me even telling him this as some sort of will, assume some sort of power of attorney for himself, and completely ignore what I want. He was probably already concocting different ideas in his head about how to make me go through with the procedure.

I could see by the stony look in his eyes that he found waiting unacceptable. "I will not go through with you what I went through with Mother."

"Then don't," I answered flatly, folding my arms and glaring daggers at him. "I'm not asking you to hold my hand. I don't even understand why you're trying so hard to help me. Am I not just an annoyance to you? You don't like me. You don't like what I do. I don't get it."

"I care about you," he answered, grasping my hand between his. He changed his position from boxing me in to kneeling before me like a knight. "You must know that much, surely. No, I don't have feelings for you, and yes, I disagree with a lot of the things you do, but that doesn't change that fact that we've been together for nearly seven years, Alice. It's enough to make us friends, good friends. Don't you feel the same way?"

"Of course," I answered with a sigh. Kurama wins. Again. "Of course. I know I can depend on you, and we've always been there for each other, and no one knows me better than you. So yes, we're friends. We've been friends for awhile now."

And I guess that's all we'll ever be.

Kurama squeezed my hand and got to his feet. "You should get some rest. I'll take care of your back tomorrow. And the cut on your forehead - your face is far too lovely to be scarred."

I hate you I hate you I hate you

"All right," I said, trying to hide my hurt, but my words were still clipped and taciturn. "Good night."

He noticed my moodiness, but wasn't quite sure what the problem was, apparently. "Right, good night, then." He opened the door, gave me an uncertain look, and closed it behind him.

I put my face in my hands and growled.