13.1 – (Kris Overstreet)
[Haruhi Suzumiya/O7]
To put it as simply as possible, time was broken, repeating itself in endless Loops.
If you don't need this explained further, you can skip down to, "Thus Loopers have bars," and you won't miss much.
To put it a little less simply but a lot more accurately, all possible universes in time and space were broken. Yggdrasil, the system which kept all possible universes running backwards and forwards throughout time, had been severely damaged. (Yggdrasil was something like a supercomputer, something like a world-tree, and something like a complete mystery even to the beings who ran it, the Admins, against whom all gods are mere shadows and reflections.)
No solution had been found after billions, even trillions of years of down-time. (Even that phrase is inexact. Time moves differently on the dimensional level of the Admins and between universes. There is no fixed ratio or equivalency. Only the largest of events can serve as any sort of historical benchmarks between worlds.)
This is not to say nothing was being done. The Admins are vague about whether or not Yggdrasil began the first Loop itself or if the Admins did it, but the tactic of taking strategic universes and multiverses and cycling them through the most critical portion of their histories- that bit of time that made each world the most unique- was tested, refined, and gradually expanded. Rather than ceasing to exist or remaining frozen in a moment, worlds began to exist again, though only in a limited and controllable (in theory) fashion.
Looping works like this: one critical being (for sufficiently vague definitions of the word) becomes the Anchor for the Loop. That being experiences the same segment of time over and over again. At the end of that time, everything in the universe instantly reverts to the way they were at the beginning of the Loop... except the Anchor's memories, which he/she/it/we/they retain. Gradually, by Admin intervention or (more commonly) by random act of Yggdrasil, lesser Loopers may join the Anchor in remembering past Loops.
The system is not perfect. For one thing, Yggdrasil is still broken beyond even immortal comprehension. Occasionally it mis-processes data, sending Loopers from one world to join or even Replace beings in another world, even worlds not yet themselves Looping. (This is called a Crossover Loop.) It may try to run two worlds simultaneously in the same data stream. (This is a Fused Loop.) It can even activate a world's Loop using not its normal history (its Baseline) but a lower-probability variant much like alternate history (a Variant Loop).
For another thing, Anchors and other Loopers are not mere computer programs. They are beings with free will, and they tend to resent repeating their lives, the same events, the same challenges, over, over, and over again. Stir crazy does not begin to describe it. The resulting shenanigans are often bizarre, insane, and really fun to watch.
Looping life is not all repetition and rebellion, however. If the Anchor of a given Loop gets killed, the Loop terminates early, leading to a system crash of varying strength. There are other ways for a Loop to crash, but Anchor death is the most common.
Some crashes have negligible effect, and the Anchor in question gets sent to a stable but annoying Safe Mode Loop until the Anchor's home is fixed. (The most stable of these is Eiken, a world loathed by most Loopers for various reasons.) Sometimes the damage is serious, and a nasty Punishment Loop may be selected by the Admins as a reminder of why suicide (or suicidal foolishness) is discouraged unless the current Loop has really gone bad.
Recently, in the extreme vagueness which is cross-world time flow, there had been a capital-C Crash. An attempt to bring a fragile, virus-infected Loop online had resulted in the absolute erasure from time, space and memory of an entire universe. The resulting Crash had struck almost every Loop, and the Admins had had to shut down those few that hadn't crashed automatically. The Crash had been the most destructive incident since the Event Zero that had triggered the Loops in the first place.
If you managed to get through all of that, you're probably thinking: "What the hell? I need a drink."
Now imagine how the Admins, Anchors and Loopers all feel, after experiencing uncountable years of it.
Thus Loopers have bars, and this was one such. In fact, Eden Hall was the only thing distinguishing the entire world it sat in from anything else. Its proprietor had learned, many, many Loops before, how to go from empty lot to enormous facility licensed to serve alcohol to members only in under twenty-four hours... which was good, because when Yggdrasil occasionally dumped hundreds of Loopers into his world at one shot, even one day wasn't nearly quick enough. If you Awoke in the world with Eden Hall in it, it was for only one reason: to go to the bar and relax.
This time the crowd was much larger than usual, and so was Eden Hall. The main public room ran the size of a major hotel's grand ballroom, with a main bar and several satellite watering holes spaced here and there. Various Loopers sat or stood at various gaming tables, not merely the usual pool or Foosball or poker or pachinko or mahjong, but also favorites from other worlds like Tacti-Go, Gladius, and 3D-Chess. Even the rule books for dragon poker and fizzbin, generally used as booster seats for hobbits and other small-statured Loopers, had been dusted off by the most experienced gamblers in the room. Hallways led off to guest bedrooms and (a recent addition) meeting rooms for mutual support groups.
The night was just getting started, with nigh on a thousand Loopers and Anchors, and possibly one or two Admins, settling in for an indefinite period of very definite unwinding.
When two confused-looking Japanese high school students staggered dizzily through the door, stepped in, and looked around, only the people seated at the tables closest to the door noticed at first. That was enough. Three or four of those people recognized the new arrivals and told their table mates. The people in the next table over asked for clarification. Word got passed. Voices swiftly quietened. In about three minutes the entire vast room was reduced to whispers, mutters and staring eyes.
The female student smiled and put her hands on her hips as she began to hear her name whispered in awe, fear, and annoyance: Haruhi Suzumiya.
Off in one of the darkest corners, four chairs scooted, drawing the eyes of much of the crowd. Four figures began walking towards the two staring kids. To look at, each of the four people was about the same age as the newcomers- middle to late adolescence, give or take, except for their eyes and the easy way they moved. These were four of the Original Seven, the first Anchors of the first Loops, the most ancient, experienced and powerful Loopers by orders of magnitude.
The female of the four led the way, walking up to the schoolgirl and saying, "Hiya! I'm Lina Inverse! Nice to see you're finally Looping!"
Hundreds of seats shifted slightly. One of the Seven had approved of the newcomers. Trouble was, if not averted, severely discouraged.
Haruhi's face lit up even brighter. "THE Lina Inverse?" she grinned. "You've gotta tell me all about Seiruun! Can you teach me the Dragon Slave?" She held up her hands and shouted, "DRAGON SLAVE!" Half the beings in the room ducked under tables for a moment, only emerging to the razzing and laughter of the other half.
"Yeah, no, kid," Lina replied. "I had to promise to stop teaching people my strongest spells. As it is, too many Loopers pick 'em up when they Replace me for a Loop back home." She grabbed Haruhi's arm and said, "But I can teach ya how to use the karaoke machine, and they've got a roast dish with yams and noodles that's to die for!"
Grinning with undisguised glee, Haruhi let herself be dragged away by the Sixth Looper, leaving her companion to stare into three male faces.
"I'm guessin' you're Kyon," the tallest of the three said.
"And you're Ranma Saotome," the schoolboy replied. "I never thought I'd see you outside a manga, though. Not even after hanging around Haruhi as long as I have." He turned his gaze to a boy only slightly shorter than Ranma, but much less broad in the shoulder and strong of build. "And you look just like Shinji Ikari."
"Yeah, there's a reason for that," Shinji replied.
Kyon looked at the third figure, shorter and slightly younger than the other two, thick-rimmed glasses half-masking a distinctive scar on his forehead. "I'm afraid I don't recognize you offhand," he said, "though I probably should."
The younger boy's mouth curled in a half-grin. "I don't hear that nearly often enough," he said. "Harry Potter's the name."
Kyon slapped his head. "Stupid!" he grumbled. "We visited your world about a dozen Loops ago. I Replaced you." He shuddered, adding, "And Haruhi's last name was Granger, if that means anything."
"Not Weasley?" Potter's smirk grew slightly broader, but instead of digging deeper, he said, "We thought you might like to join us at our table."
"They let kids our age have a table in a bar?" Kyon asked.
"Well, the bartenders are a bit sticklers for biological age," Potter said, "but there are ways around that. Aging potions." He shrugged and added, "Can't see the point, really. Back home using potions to age up wouldn't save you or the publican from John Law. And it's not like this Loop lasts long enough for long-term alcohol damage to the system to be an issue."
"Said the Brit," Ranma remarked, and Shinji nodded agreement. "Europe is a lot more relaxed about this sort of thing than Japan. And don't get started about the Americans!"
"It certainly doesn't feel that relaxed to me!" Potter protested.
"Butterbeer," Ranma and Shinji chorused.
Kyon glanced suspiciously between the three older bickering Loopers. "Under the circumstances, I'm thinking tea is the safer choice."
"Smart kid," Potter said. "Shall we clear the doorway?"
Back at the table in the corner of the room, the three ancient Loopers explained the basic rules of etiquette and access for the Looper Bars Kyon or his friends might encounter in future.
"Thanks for the info," Kyon shrugged at the end of it, "but I think it's mostly wasted information. If I begin drinking to relax and recover from Haruhi's activities, I'll die of liver failure before my Loop's proper end. And I've learned the hard way you can't get alcohol in Eiken."
"Yeah, well," Ranma shrugged, "this is just a thing we older Loopers do for new guys who come to the bar for the first time. Helps avoid misunderstandings."
"More to the point," Potter said, "all four of us- Lina included- visited your world at least once when it was still read-only. I don't think Ichigo, Usagi or Naruto have."
"No, Naruto did," Ranma corrected. "But Sakura Replaced Haruhi, so he crashed that Loop FAST."
"Really? Well, that's close enough to never visited as never mind," Potter shrugged. "And I suspect the four of us being here for your first visit wasn't an accident."
"I don't suspect, I know," Shinji snorted. "There's no such thing as coincidence. Some Admin or other wanted to ease you into broader Looper society."
"Of course Lina loved being Haruhi," Ranma said. "Lina's not quite as prickly as Haruhi is, but they're both take-charge girls. And Lina loves power. I mean, really loves it."
"My visit was short," Shinji said. "I wasn't going to put up with the bullshit Haruhi was slinging out, so the Loop ended about two months in."
"I had my own fun," Harry smiled. "Haruhi's a pill and no mistake, but she's massively better than the Dursleys. And I admit," he added with an outright mischievous grin, "the clubs at your school really are quite boring. The SOS Brigade was often annoying and occasionally terrifying, but never boring." He chuckled as he added, "By the end I'd actually managed to get the student council to approve the SOS Brigade. I bet you haven't managed that yet, have you?"
"And I've been you three times, Haruhi once, and Yuki once," Ranma said. "I think it's something of a harem anime thing."
"Since when is my world a harem anime?" Kyon retorted, eyes wide in shock.
The other three grinned at him. "Really?" Shinji asked. "Haven't you figured it out yet?"
"The thing is," Ranma said, moving past the moment of unfair amusement, "we all know how powerful Haruhi Suzumiya is in Baseline. How dangerous. And how... what's the word?"
"Unpredictable?" Harry suggested.
"Fickle. Pigheaded. Selfish. Sociopathic," Shinji snapped in quick suggestion.
"Anyway, we know how she is, and none of us thought the Admins would ever, EVER let your world Loop." Ranma clasped his hands together and leaned forward over the table. "And then about a hundred Loops ago one of the pony Loopers brought me a message from Twilight Sparkle, who said she met you and that you were Looping."
"I heard the same thing from Condor Joe," Shinji nodded.
"So what we're all wondering," Harry said, "is how exactly this happened? And what can we expect from a Looping Suzumiya?"
"Tell us all about it," Ranma said, intense blue eyes staring over his callused hands. "I've read the novels. You're good at telling stories."
"Oh, brother," Kyon moaned. "Obviously I never wrote those novels! Someone in some other world, what Twilight calls the hub world, did that! And Tanigawa didn't get anything like everything in the books." Slumping back in his chair, he grumbled half to himself, "But he got way too much of what he did get."
"Tell us anyway," Ranma said. "Start at the very beginning. If we get bored we can get this room started in a round of, 'Never Have I Ever.'"
"The beginning?" Kyon stared at the ceiling for a moment, then shrugged. "So long as Miss Inverse keeps Haruhi busy, it's fine by me. But only after I get some tea."
13.2 – (KrspaceT)
[Gurren Lagann/Winnie The Pooh]
Sora just stared at the sight before him, an average visit to the 100 Acre Wood would be one for the books.
"Well, I guess we're going to have to drill to the heavens today" The oddest fusion yet commented in the same dull tone he normally had, but with the glasses and words of someone completely different.
This, was the Loop of Kamina Eeyore.
13.3 – (Dalxein)
[Kill la Kill/MLP]
Cheerilee twitched Awake, as if she'd just dozed for a moment. She was human again. Standing, too- but luckily there was a blackboard right in front of her that she caught her weight against. It always took a moment to remember how to balance on two legs. She glanced around, and was obviously in a classroom. There was chalk in the hand she'd braced herself with, and a book in the other, held open to a certain page with her thumb. Thumbs. She still wasn't used to those things. She could use them fine, but… She wondered when she'd finally be home. Finally be a pony again. She bit back a sniffle and dove into her recent Loop memories. She was still a teacher, and the silence was starting to get awkward.
"In 1933, the National Socialist German Worker's Party came into power." She said, writing as she spoke. Japanese, of all things… "This was the birth of Chancellor Hitler. Eventually, Germany's post-war Democracy gave rise to Fascism." This world already sounded bleak…
A bang at the door startled the whole class. For a moment, everything was silent.
Then the huge steel door was kicked through the classroom and out the windows on the other side. Luckily no one was hit by it, but the shock wave spread through the room, blowing everything back. Cheerilee found herself firmly on her flank on the floor, staring in horror out into the hall. Slowly, a massive imposing figure pushed his way through the door. His skin was tanned, his hair slicked and pale, his uniform the same white and star motif as the other students filing in after him, but much more of it.
Her local memories supplied a name.
"Gamagoori?" she asked.
He had stopped just in front of her. After a moment, he held his hand out. Hesitantly, she reached out to grasp it, and the young man easily lifted her clear off her feet by that one held hand, gently setting her back on her feet. She thought she saw him just barely nod before he turned back to the class.
It was suddenly very loud.
"I AM IRA GAMAGOORI, DISCIPLINARY COMMITTEE CHAIR!" The huge man shouted. He then began to pace in front of the students, all back in their seats.
Except for one. She hadn't noticed her before, but the girl in the black and red uniform and the red stripe in her hair was leaning against the back corner. A tickle in her mind told her that this was the new student, here a day early. The young woman slowly slipped a finger in front of her pursed lips. A Looper, then; possibly the local Anchor. Strangely, no one else seemed to notice her, but Cheerilee wasn't about to jump to questioning odd things in an odd world. The moment passed in an instant, and Ira was on the warpath again.
"Students of second year class K! We have determined that there is someone who intends harm against Honnouji Academy among you!" He paused to change the direction of his pacing. "Excuses will fall on deaf ears, this person will be punished immediately!"
One of the students slowly rose to his feet, knocking his desk aside as he did so. The curly-haired boy looked terrified, but still raised a ball in one hand while clutching a case to his chest with the other. He threw the ball down, engulfing the classroom in smoke. He fled out the door while Gamagoori took the direct route and leapt out the shattered windows.
She was still staring out the window when the new girl sidled up next to her. "Yes, my Loop is always this crazy." She said with an odd fondness.
"What just happened?" Cheerilee barely managed.
"That masochist gorilla's always good for a chuckle, but you haven't seen anything yet. Meet me after school, we'll get you settled in so you don't wind up dead before the week's out, ya timid little thing." She slapped her teacher on the back and walked out. Everyone either ran to the windows or out the door to get a better view on a lower floor, but Cheerilee could see clearly enough as she watched what was probably the worst beat-down she'd ever witnessed.
What did she get dumped in the middle of this time?
-x-x-x-x-
She'd ridden back to her apartment for the Loop with the new student and Anchor- Ryuko. The young woman had pulled a large, bulky and angular red motorcycle dotted with stickers and decals out from behind her back the same way she'd seen other Loopers magically grab items. Subspace Pockets, she thought.
Now that they were alone though, no school or super-powered students or classes to distract her, Cheerilee finally had a chance to stop and absorb what'd all happened. Her Loop memories told her that she was an agent of a group called Nudist Beach who were trying to prevent living and semi-parasitic clothing from killing people, or giving the wrong sort the kinds of superpowers they needed to do so themselves.
"I'm still so confused…"
Ryuko chuckled from where she was rummaging in her teacher's cupboards to make some tea for her. "Honnouji does that. At least most things go on for a reason around here, even if the reasons don't make sense half the time." She brought back cups for both of them. "So, how much do you know about all this Looping business? You had the multiverse talk yet? Know how to handle in-Loop memories? Figured out Subspace Pockets? Those are pretty much the most important things."
Cheerilee shook the daze away. "Yes, yes, and no… How did you even know I was so new to this, anyway?"
That got a grin. "An experienced Looper deals with threats, especially unexpected ones, in one of two ways: breaking it with overwhelming force, or manipulating it so that it's no longer a problem. It gets to be second nature, really. You didn't try either when Gamagoori popped up. You were just scared."
"So what happens now?" The once-mare asked.
A bigger grin, this one malicious. "Me and Needles McShooty can take care of anything that pops up in this Loop, so you can sit back and stay out of the spotlight if you like. Practice your Pocket. I can teach you if you need it, but I'm kinda' new myself. All I can fit in mine is my bike. Makes getting around the city a lot easier, though." She glanced down. "Also, you should stop that."
Cheerilee started, wondering what she was talking about when she glanced down and noticed her blouse was undone, and her hands had been fidgeting with the front clasp of her bra. Apparently her Loop memories came with a new nervous tic. With a mighty 'eep', she flushed red and started re-securing her clothing as quick as her growing dexterity with human digits would allow.
Ryuko just chuckled, though. "I don't envy you. There must be all sorts of messed up stuff in that pervert's head, having all his memories must be terrible."
"It's just that I'm normally a pony. We don't even need to wear clothes if we don't want to. All these human taboos are messing with me!" Oh, why did she have to Replace a proud exhibitionist in this Loop?
Thinking about her pony days reminded her that she did in fact have a triune of daisies tattooed somewhere on her body this Loop…
She wasn't going to stop blushing for a while.
"You're kidding me, a horse?" Ryuko boggled.
"Pony." Cheerilee corrected.
After a moment, the girl shrugged. "Alright, I've heard weirder. Let's get you started on your Subspace Pocket."
-X-X-X-X-
Over the several weeks she'd been a teacher at Honnouji Academy, Cheerilee had managed to create and access her Subspace Pocket, and was currently training herself to expand it by seeing how many coins she could fit in it before removing them and trying again, and making excellent progress considering she still had her job to worry about. She'd learned a lot about the Loop and how it was different from others. Her in-Loop memories of having studied Life Fibers under Ryuko's father helped significantly.
Ryuko had also introduced her to another Looper, Mako. The girl was frightfully reminiscent of Pinkie Pie without the obsession for partying.
Oddly, according to them the first people to start Looping after that were rivals and antagonists. The girl running the school, Satsuki Kiryuin was currently Awake, but tended to seclude herself. She and Ryuko shared a truce against a greater enemy, and the years of Looping conflict had boiled their relationship down to friendly if violent rivalry rather than true antagonism. Tsumugu, whom she otherwise referred to in derogatory nicknames like 'Needles McShooty' was not Awake this Loop, but had been described as warmer towards Ryuko and Mako than Kiryuin was. Cheerilee was taking the place of the last known Looper, the perverted teacher Mikisugi.
Today was supposed to be some sort of tournament, and she'd been advised to stay out of it while Ryuko and Satsuki teamed up against someone they mutually hated.
Teamed up and using all of the strongest fighters in the school, they were guaranteed to win, but…
"My name is Ryuko Matoi. You killed my father. Prepare to die." The Anchor said, half-jokingly as she pointed one of the pair of scissor blades she wielded from the stock she collected through the Loops at the girl.
"Tehehee, you actually seem to think you can beat me." Nui Harime, the girl in the Lolita dress with a parasol and a kanji eyepatch, tittered. "It's going to take more than just you and your friends to do that. If you're not careful, they'll all die like your father did!"
Maybe it was how maniacally cheery the girl was when she said that, her smile never wavering, but it set Cheerilee's blood boiling. How dare this girl threaten the students? The children? She barely heard anything else that was said as she marched right up behind Satsuki's lieutenants and grabbed the scruff of the girl, Nonon's, uniform.
With a deft flick of her wrist, she was now holding said uniform, while the girl was trying to cover her underwear indignantly.
She spared an idle thought that this Loop must be affecting her more than she expected it to, as she held the uniform forward in her balled fist. "You will not hurt my students! I don't care if they can fight for themselves, or if you have some reason or excuse to not like them for using these uniforms for their power, but they are my students, children under my care, and you will have to go through me first!"
Ryuko wondered if she should've mentioned that people died in this Loop all the time and it wasn't that big an issue, but hey, if she wanted to call out the bad guy she was welcome to do so.
Nui just tilted her head and giggled.
A second later and the schoolteacher had donned the uniform despite its snug fit. Her knowledge of the life fibers, earth pony magic, her sheer boiling blood and will to hurt something combined to shift the garment into its secondary stage. She stood there in a yellow and red skintight battle suit, the triple-star pattern replaced by her own three daisies.
And then she charged.
-X-X-X-X-
Cheerilee looked up at the sky through the crater she'd been deposited into. She lay naked, battered and bruised in the dust and debris of the final moments of her fight when Nui had finally managed to destroy her uniform. She'd be surprised if the fight even lasted half a minute.
The sounds of combat from outside her hole in the ground had ceased, and a shadow walked into view on its rim. Ryuko stood grinning down at her for a moment before hopping in to help her up.
"You did good." She said to the teacher, lifting her up so she could lean on the girl's shoulder. "You got your ass kicked, but you did good. Way better than you should've all things considered. Let's get you home and cleaned up."
The both of them smiled.
(Several weeks later)
"Well, Loop's ending." Ryuko said. She, Mako and Cheerilee were in the teacher's apartment for a small celebration. "It was nice meeting you, and… here." She handed the teacher a small red and black band.
"A bracelet?" She asked.
The Anchor nodded. "I managed to convince miss high-and-mighty to have this made for you. Made with Life Fibers. Hopefully it'll help keep you safe out there, and now you've got something to stick in that new Pocket of yours." She said with a grin.
Cheerilee nodded, her eyes tearing up a little. The red lines dancing across the surface of the thin fabric were rather pretty… It was a very kind gesture. "Thank you."
They shared a few last stories and tea while they waited the last hour for the Loop to reset.
Some students, you never forget.
13.4 – (Vinylshadow)
[Hellsing/Prototype]
"American heathen!"
"Irish swine!"
"Abomination!"
"Hello, pot, have you met my friend kettle?"
"I am nothing like you!"
"Ehh, give it some time."
Alucard watched the back and forth between one Alex Mercer and one Alexander Anderson, loudly chewing popcorn.
"So, how long do you think it'll take for them to kiss?" he asked Seras.
"Ten euros on twenty minutes."
"You're on," Alucard agreed as the two Alex started beating the shit out of each other.
13.5 – (Leviticus Wilkes)
[Evangelion/Admin Space]
Ganesha was reasonably proud of his accomplishments, when it came down to it. He had activated Homestuck and set an Anchor. He'd fixed a problem that had plagued Evangelion for millennia. Attack on Titan was expanding at a steady, stable pace. Steven Universe's world was looking beautiful. And the infinite multiverse inside of the Magic: the Gathering world was well and truly stable.
Yes, everything was going great for Ganesha... except one thing. Well, actually it was two things, but the first caused the second, and the first was named Yui Ikari.
Now after his success with Carla in the Walled World, Ganesha had decided to examine the code for Yui. There was very little doubt in his mind that Yui was Loopable: she was the mother to the Anchor, after all. Though... the rule of emotional proximity didn't seem to include parents, for some reason. After all, he had to directly intervene with Carla, Gendo had been an accident caused by Billy, and Greg had been Jumpstarted by his relocation of Lapis Lazuli.
Yui... Yui would be a tricky one. Her soul was bound up inside of Unit One, and bound tightly, because she had chosen to be in there. There was a good chance that if he got Yui Looping, Unit One would almost certainly start Dreaming. Which would probably be very, very bad. Granted, the opposite wasn't true. The Evangelion was actively trying to drive Yui out of it, meaning that if it started Looping, it would certainly not be happy.
But these were challenges that Ganesha was certain he could handle with time and peace. Problem number two was that he didn't have peace: his peace was being nearly monopolized by one incredibly annoying lightning deity.
"I just don't see why you don't plug in Le Eyo's Looping program," Zeus repeated.
Ganesha stubbornly refused to sigh. He would not sigh in Zeus' company. It was impolite.
By now, the question of why Ganesha had let Zeus into his cubicle when he had personally denied his own father entry into his mother's house for years may have arisen. The answer was, well, Parvati. "Play nice with Zeus sweetheart. His skin is mine to flay."
Oh, mothers. Aren't they just the best?
That being said, the mother Ganesha wanted to activate was a rather... complicated mess. Her code was all over the place, her soul was tainted in strange ways, and then there was the mess with Unit One and Shinji: Yggdrasil couldn't decide if they were Soul-Bound or not.
Yes, Evangelion happened to be one of the first "Problem Worlds" of Yggdrasil. Even to this day, with a complete Baseline and billions if not trillions of years of local world analysis, it was still the least populated of the Original Seven worlds, and no one was really sure what the hell was going on with it. Activating Loopers, even considering it's age and relative stability, was a risky endeavor. Activating any of them with Le Eyo's special Activation was... well...
When Yggdrasil was good and ready to start a Looper, the Looper was started like a car: the ignition was turned on, and after a few tries, the Looper got going. Le Eyo's program was the equivalent of trying to start a carbureted car without gas in the float bowl and letting the starter run.
Ganesha blinked. 'Wait... what? That's a very odd comparison.'
The Hindu deity slid away from his desk. "Activating a Looper with Le Eyo's program can irreversibly damage their code. If they fail to activate, then their code will destabilize further with each attempt, decaying over time. It could not possibly-"
"What was that?" Zeus said as he plugged Yui's code into Le Eyo's program. After a second, the computer flashed.
"New Looper Discovered. Name: Yui Ikari. Location: Universe Designated Evangelion. Status: Awake."
Ganesha stared at the screen. Zeus smiled smugly. "So, what was that Ganny?"
Ganesha grabbed Zeus and kissed him on the cheeks. "You genius! You genius! We must see this for ourselves!"
Ganesha dragged Zeus into the computer screen, and seconds later, they were falling into Evangelion.
-x-x-x-x-
Down in the holder dock of Unit One, Shinji Ikari was staring down at the nonsensical clock that ticked on his wrist. "Father should be here in five, one, eight..."
"Son."
"Hey jackass," Shinji said without missing a beat. The tone and wording did throw his Unawake father off track though, which was why Shinji had said it. Gendo adjusted his glasses and stared down at Shinji.
"Son, what you see before you is the Artificial Humanoid, Evangelion Unit One. You're going to ride in her."
"You want me to ride in mom's coffin. Whoop De Fucking Doo," Shinji pointed out nonchalantly. "Ya know Gendo, the Pilot's Plug is inserted into the nape of the neck. It's a long, hard rod of steel that's filled with blood to make it work, and allows me to control the, ostensibly, female robot. Oh, and the nape? It's erogenous in Japanese culture."
Gendo stared down at his son. Shinji chuckled. "So in a way, I'm getting more from Mom then you are."
Gendo's mind immediately began doing two things. The first was to furiously wonder how the behavioral analysts had ever missed such a thoroughly assertive and even aggressive personality in his son. The second was to ponder on how he could personally pilot Unit One at some point in the near future.
Shinji checked his still nonsensical watch as Zeus and Ganesha slowly descended next to him. "Hey Ganesha, hey Zeus," he said nonchalantly. "What's up?"
"Oh, we're here to check up on our newest Looper," Ganesha said cheerfully. Zeus grinned smugly as Shinji apparated away and returned with Kensuke, who promptly began fanboying over Zeus.
"There you go. One Kensuke Aida. No refunds or returns," Shinji said, a sarcastic edge dripping from his tone. Kensuke turned on Shinji be banged him on the head. "Worth it."
Kensuke shrugged. "Meh. Freedom to roam the multiverse, laying babes, fighting monsters, seeing cool hardware, and piloting my Eva. Definitely awesome."
"Hehehehe, well now that you mention it Kensuke, we're not really here... to see you," Ganesha admitted slowly. Shinji and Kensuke's confused looks were all the prompting Ganesha needed. "Watch."
Ganesha scaled Unit One as Rei walked over, a powerful healing factor repairing her damaged body. "Why is our Admin present in the Loop?" she queried.
Shinji stared as Ganesha banged on the covering of Unit One's Plug cradle. "Wait... no... it's impossible."
"What's impossible?" Kensuke asked.
"Ganesha might have gotten Yui Looping," Rei surmised in rapt fascination. That she was displaying the emotion so openly did demonstrate the intensity of it. Rei Ayanami, emotionless girl extraordinaire, was in shock.
Shinji shook his head, never removing his eyes. "No, that's impossible. It can't be... our luck is too-"
"Wooh, mighty stuffy in there," Yui Ikari said as she extracted herself from the Plug. "Well now, that was a capital adventure. Too bad it was cut short."
"MOM!" Shinji cried, bouncing up and down in glee. Yui leapt the whole of Unit One in a single bound, grabbing her son in a tight hug.
"Oh Shinji, Shinji, Shinji," Yui mumbled. Zeus looked at the woman who was slowly pulling her son into her body, him dissolving into blue LCL. "Shinji..."
"Huh," Ganesha said as she landed next to Zeus. "You'd think they'd do more than hug," the female Elephant deity said.
"Yup," Zeus admitted as Kensuke's head gently floated off his body. "You know, it's a bit odd. Like, one of those... Fun house... mirrors."
Zeus watched Yui absorb Shinji, and Kensuke's head float away. "Huh. Strange Variant."
"Yes, it is," Rei said, beaming.
Zeus choked. "Rei's smiling... Oh me... I'm in a dream!"
-x-x-x-x-
Zeus jolted up and stared at the fabric being waved in his face. "What is that?"
"Woman's miniskirt," Ganesha said. Shinji, Rei and Kensuke were nearby, staring at him.
Zeus grabbed the skirt. "Mine." Getting his feet under himself, Zeus raised the obvious question. "What happened?"
"You fell from the heavens and hit your head on Unit One's Horn on the way down," Kensuke answered, stuffing his camcorder into his Subspace Pocket. Blackmail was always good to have. "You've been muttering about LCL and Oedipal Complexes for the last five minutes."
"You didn't see anything," Zeus threatened. The innocent whistling he got in return helped his mood. Of course, he had missed the camcorder that Kensuke had been recording him with.
Ganesha spared a withering glance at Zeus before facing Shinji. "Shinji, I have amazing news. Stupendous news in fact."
"Is it 'I've found a way to make your Baseline less traumatic', and or 'I've found a way to bring Teri and Aki back from oblivion?' Shinji deadpanned. "Because if it isn't those two things, it really doesn't matter."
Ganesha smiled and threw an arm around Zeus' shoulders, the lightning and storm god smiling smugly. "Shinji, we have succeeded in getting Yui Looping."
"Hiuhhaha," Shinji gasped. Huhfufuh... ya... ya-Yu... Yui? As, as, as, as in my m-mom?" he stammered. Rei stared at Ganesha and Zeus, jaw locked in the downward. Kensuke was recording Shinji's flabbergasted reaction.
Ganesha nodded. "That is correct Mr Ikari. Your mother is wide Awake inside of Unit One." Ganesha stepped back along the gantry. "You can do the honors of giving Yui the speech."
Shinji leapt up and kissed Ganesha. "THANK YOU!" He rocketed by and up into the Entry Plug. "Come on, come on!" he shouted at the Bridge Bunnies high above.
Down on the gantry, Ritsuko and Misato, and a small army of Section Two agents, approached Ganesha and Zeus. "Excuse me, this is a restricted area. You two... should probably explain yourselves," Ritsuko said, still wondering why an elephant headed man and a man in a Greek toga had shown up in NERV's most sacred chambers.
Ganesha and Zeus stared at her. "Oh, we're gods. Don't really need an explanation," Zeus said, shining for a moment with divine light.
Up in the control room, Gendo watched impassively before opening a comms link to the floor. "You two... get out," he ordered coldly.
Zeus laughed out loud. "Right, no. You should be thanking me: I got your wife Looping. You'll be seeing her again momentarily."
Gendo glared at Zeus. "Get. Out." he repeated with greater force.
Zeus laughed out loud, and Ganesha rolled his eyes. "This guy... I l-love this prick," Zeus choked out.
"Commander Ikari does possess some comic value when he is not Awake," Rei conceded to her former Admin.
"He is fun to torment," Kensuke agreed. "I really can't wait to meet the Looping version though. I owe him for Toji."
"You know he isn't culpable-" Ganesha began. He was interrupted though. By Unit One.
"RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Unit One screamed, shaking in the cage. The assembled humans and gods reeled as it shook the building. Up above, Sachiel's attack finally began, shaking even more of he building. Rei lunged, barely shoving Ritsuko and Misato out of the way of a falling I-beam.
Kensuke wasn't nearly so lucky.
Zeus and Ganesha stood their ground as Rei evacuated the gantry in front of the berserking Eva. "GANESHA WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Zeus shrieked over the noise.
"IT WASN'T ME!" Ganesha retorted as Unit One ripped an arm free from it's clamps. Zeus formed a lightning bolt and launched it, shocking Unit One's arm away. The storm god dropped a localized tornado on the clone of Lilith, occupying it. Ganesha pulled his own noose out and latched the machine down. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
Inside the Unit, Shinji screamed as his mind was struck by a dozen burning lances. 'What's happening... What's going on? Who are you...' It took Shinji a moment to realize that these were not his thoughts, and that they were not Yui's. They were Unit One's.
His mother wasn't there anymore.
But the machine was. And it felt fear.
Shinji screamed, not in agony, but grief.
-x-x-x-x-
"...Have you ever wondered about death?" Shinji asked.
"My mother is dead, I lost two children to these Loops, everyone I cared for either went insane or died, and by and large I'm the only girl in the Original Seven World's who's experienced mind rape in Baseline. Yes Shinji, I think about death," Asuka deadpanned.
Kaoru fixed Asuka with his own cold glare, before going back to holding Shinji as tightly as he could. The Loop had ticked over for Asuka, Kaoru, Shinji, Gendo and Misato rather unceremoniously, but Shinji, knowing his fellow teenagers like the back of his hand, had managed to pull both of them to the outskirts of Tokyo Three. There, he had informed them of what happened.
"Ganesha and Zeus used an activation program on my mother's soul. But instead of getting her Looping, the program corrupted her code. It infected Unit One with a glitch... a dreaming glitch. Yui... My mom... she's gone."
Shinji was sitting there, huddled on a bench in the middle of one of Tokyo Three's suburbs, Kaoru and Asuka standing over him. Asuka sighed gently as the moments passed. Kaoru pulled Shinji in tighter. Finally, above the long since forgotten drone of the Cicadas, Asuka broke the silence. "I'm sorry."
"...Why?"
"Because I couldn't be there to try and change what happened," Asuka answered.
"You couldn't change anything... no one can," Shinji said.
"It's nobody's fault," Kaoru consoled gently, carding a hand through Shinji's hair.
Asuka looked down at her pathetic, exhausted, grieving friend and closed her eyes, and thought back. Their world, Evangelion, was ancient. Stupendously so. They were the fourth universe to ever Loop: Shinji, the fifth being to Loop, and the fourth oldest after Ranma, Harry, and Naruto. They surpassed so many other worlds by sheer age.
Yet, for the longest time, all they had were each other, and Penpen, and the Ree. Six Loopers to an unfathomably, inconceivably ancient universe. It took an MLE to break the cycle: now they welcomed Misato, Kensuke, even Gendo into the Loops. After billions of years of stagnation, of loneliness, of isolation, they had seen a ray of light.
Yui's... corruption had been a reminder. Of the pain. The resignation. The fact that they existed in a greater world. Shinji and Asuka and Rei and Kaoru could, together, take on billions. They had fought together at Nyx Sparkle and Leman Russ' wedding. They had survived Amala. Seen Mitakihara destroyed and rebuilt. But here, hearing that Yui would never Loop was... it was a wake up call.
"Shinji, we're not... gods," Asuka said quietly. "We don't control our fates. We control ourselves, our power, but the Multiverse will spin on without us."
"You have no right to say that," Kaoru said.
"I do. Every soul does, because it's true," Asuka asserted. "We don't choose to Loop. We don't choose to have this responsibility, this gift and curse, placed upon us. We can only whether it."
Asuka kneeled down to Shinji and Kaoru's level. "The only way out is through Shinji. All we can do is wait."
Shinji did not look into Asuka's eyes for the longest time, and when he did, they were haunted. "Asuka... do you think you could tell Gendo that his wife, the woman he was willing to murder humanity for, will never join us in the Loops?"
Asuka inhaled, and exhaled slowly. "I can. Do you want me to?"
Shinji gently unfolded, uncurling from his position. "It has to be me. He'd only believe it if it came from me." After a moment, Shinji chuckled slightly. "I can't believe... after all this time, I've lost another woman in my life."
Kaoru pressed a hand into Shinji's shoulder. "We all have Shinji. We all have."
-x-x-x-x-
Gendo Ikari's office was a dark room. Fitting for the dark events that transpired within it. A large, empty space that existed to impose upon all who visited it that the man behind the desk was not to be trifled with in the slightest. It was horribly pretentious.
Gendo and Fuyutsuki had take their customary positions when Shinji entered the room, already both sensing the change in disposition in the Ikari heir. Gendo waved off his teacher, and watched as Kuzo left the room. "Shinji, I did not expect to see you here this early. Did something happen?"
Shinji tried to speak, but the words died on his tongue.
Gendo chuckled darkly. "I guess Rei must have gotten into the tequila again. It has been fun knowing you Shinji."
The sudden lack of response from Shinji was troublesome to Gendo. Shinji stared at his father, his mind driving itself into a brick wall. 'How do I tell him... how do I tell him...'
Gendo raised an eyebrow. "Shinji? ...Son?"
Shinji gulped, and began at the beginning. "There was an activation attempt with-" Shinji choked on his words. Gendo's eyes went wide.
"Shinji, what-"
"G-gone."
Father and son did not speak for far too long. Shinji tried to breathe as deeply as possible. Gendo didn't seem to need to breath.
"The Admins, they tried, wanted to... Activate Mother. They tried..." Shinji's head fell into his hands. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."
Gendo tried to formulate a complex thought. "It was just an activation attempt. I mean, Yui can recover from that, can't she?"
Shinji curled in on himself. 'I don't want to be here...' "Mother's soul couldn't. It wasn't ready. They..."
'Please don't make me say this.'
"They think..."
'God... someone... please...'
"They think she'll never Loop."
Five words and the weight of the world fell on Shinji's shoulders. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
Gendo sat there, still and immobile. Suddenly the lethargy broke. "Shinji I need you to tell me everything from the beginning right now."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."
"Shinji I need you to-" Gendo caught himself mid sentence as Shinji just locked up. Gendo stared at Shinji's form, still as the dead. Shinji stared at nothing.
Shinji Ikari no longer felt sadness. He was angry: angry at the universe for taking his friends, his family, his children, his happy ending. He was angry at everything, because it wasn't fair. Because he alone had nothing that others did. He did not feel sorrow so often.
His son's pain was all the proof Gendo needed. Yui... was gone.
-x-x-x-x-
Neither knew how long they had sat there in grief. Alone, dead to all sensation. Shinji was silent. Gendo was sightless. All they did was stare and sob.
It was pain unbroken, as grief came to the two. They were the last of the Ikari's, and now they knew that Yui would never join their number. Shinji would have no mother. Gendo would have no wife. The pain was... incomprehensible.
"...Father..."
Henson buried his head in his hands as Shinji murmured his title. He didn't deserve to be a father, he didn't deserve to be Looping, he didn't deserve-
"Father."
Shinji stared at Gendo, a thought, half formed, flitting through his mind. Shinji tried again, desperately. "Father."
"Father, tell me about mother."
Gendo shuddered, still crying. "W...why? Why Shinji, why?"
"..." Shinji looked at his knees. "...So we can remember her."
Gendo hiccuped and choked on his words. "It'll hurt."
"Everything hurts. We've all lost something. We have all felt this pain. We still feel pain for the ones we love for a reason."
Gendo's teeth clacked against each other as he set his jaw, still shaking from his tears. "Why do we still feel that pain?"
"...To remind ourselves that these people are worth the pain."
The office of Gendo Ikari fell silent again. Shinji and Gendo could not speak. But now, grief mixed with reverence. In reverence, Gendo spoke. "I first met Yu... I first met Yui in college. We had enrolled in an advance Meta-Biology class. She... When I offered her my lunch, it was the first day we spoke..."
-x-x-x-x-
Grief doesn't disappear. It never does. You endure it, bury it, push it away. You try to drown it in happiness, and work to always forget that the very happiness you feel will never be as real as it was when what you grieve was with you.
Outside of Gendo's office, Asuka, Kaoru, and Misato were silent sentinels. The two ancient Loopers and their young companion had set up camp there when Shinji had gone in to break the news to Gendo. Asuka had appraised Misato of the situation, and only her and Kaoru's hasty insistence had stopped her from charging in and crying with the boy who had become her surrogate son.
Since then, no one had spoken. Misato, it seemed, mourned Yui's destruction. Kaoru had been thinking of ways to help Shinji and comfort him. Asuka...
Asuka was apart from either of them, staring into nothingness, and remembering a word, born of two voices she would not hear for eternity. 'Mama...'
Asuka Langley Soryu had carried and birthed two beautiful daughters, so long ago. Teri and Aki. They had been her's and Shinji's, which back then had made them Rei's and Kaoru's as well. Their memories had long since grown dim and indistinct, but the pain could feel so raw.
Better than any soul in the multiverse, better than the millions who had lost so much, Asuka knew the pain of Shinji and Gendo. She hated the pain, the agony. It was the foundation of her resolve though. Asuka would help them, yes, even Gendo. She hated the man who had driven their world to destruction, but she could never hate the man who now knew his wife would never join him in this strange purgatory of the Loops.
She saw too much of herself in Gendo to blindly hate him anymore.
Presently, the door to Gendo's office opened. Shinji stepped out, his eyes still red with tears, his heart still weak from grief. Instantly, he was enveloped in Misato and Kaoru's hug, dragged into their embrace to try and tell him he was not alone. Maybe he could know that now.
Asuka's hug was lighter, looser, but it understood him better. Shinji knew he wasn't alone. He had a confidant. A soul to which he could trust to bear his burden. It was comforting, to his heart. Asuka knew that.
Emerging from the darkness of his office, Gendo Ikari looked at the group, almost resigned. His resignation turned to shock though, when Kaoru and Asuka nearly leapt onto him, latching in for a more... obviously comforting hug. The man was beyond surprised, to say the least. Though... he was soon finding himself enjoying the hug.
Finally, the group disassembled itself, and the five Waking Loopers of Tokyo Three were standing apart from one another. Shinji sighed. "I guess... Thanks, you guys."
Kaoru pulled Shinji into a close, loving embrace. "We're here Shinji."
Asuka wrapped her arms around him. "Remember that."
Basking in the glow of each other, Shinji, Asuka and Kaoru were quiet. A hole remained though, for Rei. It was painful that she did not stand there, but fate is rarely so accommodating.
Apart from them, Misato glanced at Gendo. "We... miss something?"
"...We all do."
"You gonna be okay?"
"..."
"You're gonna be okay."
"You know that?"
"I know that."
Gendo glanced at Misato, who lightly smiled back. "Maybe... I will, Major."
"You will, commander. You will."
Everything will be alright.
13.6 – (krspaceT)
[Blue Exorcist]
It's noodly appendages stretched from the sea to the sky as Rin and Yukio found themselves staring down a ...something that vaguely resembled a noodle Cthulhu.
"...I've got nothing" Yukio admitted after studying the creature for a moment.
"Oh come on Yukio, your the know it all about demons, and what the hell could that thing be but a demon!" Rin complained as he reached for his sword.
"I don't think that's such a good idea Rin..." Yukio began before his brother unsheathed his sword and lunged at the monster.
"DIE DEMON!"
The blue flaming Rin flew at the noodle creature, only to be swatted away by a noddle and sent flying back, crashing into the ground by Yukio head first in the ground.
"Maybe you should try to eat it raw, as oppose to slice it up first." Yukio joked as Rin burst out of the ground with a blast of demonic fire.
"I will!" Rin shouted as Yukio looked horrified "Gate of Life, Open!"
As Rin opened the third gate, chakra and demonic flames merged into a powerful nova of energy surrounding him, as Rin's skin turned red.
"Prepare to be my dinner!" Rin leapt at the monster with all the power he had...
And reality shattered.
-x-x-x-x-
Rin and Yukio both crashed into the ground in their room just moments after Rin attempted to eat the flying spaghetti creature.
"Ow" Yukio complained as he pushed off the floor and glared at his brother "What did you freaking do...and why did I just get censored?"
"Next time, on Blue Shamans, Rick and Yale's first day at Triangle Academy, the training ground for the Order of Shamans. The brothers meet Sally, a young Gardner. Brought to you by 4Kids entertainment" a voice boomed like a TV announcer from the sky.
13.7 – (jxz)
[Selector Infected WIXOSS]
Tama looked at Tama.
Tama stared back.
Both Tamas looked at Ruko and Yuki.
"Tama wants Ruu!" One of them declared, making the other pout.
"Not fair! Tama wants Ruu!"
"Well, Tama gets Yuki! That's also good!"
"But it's not fair!"
"Yuki?" Ruko asked her usually second LRIG.
"Yes?"
"Why are there two Tamas?"
"I... really have no idea."
"Huh." Was all Ruko could answer, looking at the two white LRIGs fighting for who'd get Ruko later.
13.1 cont. – (Kris Overstreet)
"... and that's how the SOS Brigade began Looping," Kyon finished, taking a moment to polish off his third cup of tea.
During the telling his audience had quietly expanded from the three ancient Anchors sharing the table to every seat as far as three tables away. Dozens of Loopers remained silent, listening to learn more about the strange girl currently singing beautiful duets with Lina Inverse on the far side of the bar.
Harry Potter spoke for the rest of the Original Seven when he said, "Well, you certainly seem to be handling the Loops better than any of us did at first." Shinji and Ranma added their own emphatic nods.
Kyon shrugged. "Like I said, Looping through time isn't new to me. And it's nowhere near as strange as confronting a supertanker-sized cave cricket or playing fetch-quest with instructions from the distant future." After a moment he added, "Besides, my friends were there with me."
"And Haruhi," Shinji noted, in the same tone that many others had said And Zoidberg.
Kyon frowned. "As I said," he drawled, "my friends." Setting his cup down, he added, "I'd better go rescue Inverse from my brigade chief. Thanks for the tea."
"Er, one minute," Ranma said. "There's one thing I want to ask- well, two technically. How many Loops have you had so far?"
"Couple thousand, I think," Kyon replied. "Twenty or thirty crossover or Fused Loops in that, and a handful of Variants. Why?"
The three male O7 glanced meaningfully at each other. "Well... the thing is," Ranma said, hoping the subject would be less dangerous if he sneaked up on it, "about the thousandth or so Loop, there's a stage most of us went through... a lot of other Loopers go through it too, but with us early Loopers it was... well... normally we don't talk about it."
"Some of us acquired reputations that have taken forever to live down," Potter added, "even by Looper standards of forever."
"It seemed to occur to a lot of us," Ranma pressed on, having found his verbal point of ambush to be quicksand instead, "that, what with time repeating and everything, it was the perfect opportunity to... er... experiment." The eldest Looper, the most formidable martial artist in the histories of everything and everywhere and everywhen, actually pushed his index fingers together and blushed like a schoolboy. "Er, sexually. With, er, everyone, really."
"Like he said, we really, really don't like to talk about it," Shinji said, also blushing a little.
"And we were wondering," Ranma said, firm ground in sight at last, "if... you'd... er... had the same idea. And what happened."
Kyon didn't blush. His face went stony white instead. He stood up from his chair, leaning on it for support, looking fifty years older. "Never ask me that question again," he said, voice firm and solid, no hesitation, no opening for debate. Without another word he turned his back on the three elder Loopers and began making his way through the cluster of tables towards the karaoke machine.
13.1 – Story time at the local tavern.
13.2 – I suppose we might as well go beyond the impossible too.
13.3 – Nudist Teach, assemble!
13.4 – The Monster of God vs The Monster of Manhattan. Fight!
13.5 – Goodbye Yui, we hardly knew thee.
13.6 – Silly Rin, The Flying Spaghetti Monster is 4Kids.
13.7 – Every trading card collection has at least a few duplicates.
13.1 cont. – Kyon doesn't kiss and tell. Otherwise Haruhi would kill him. Or worse: Mikuru might cry.