One morning, Ellra was finishing her morning chores when Controller Connix surprised her with a visit.
"Kaydel! How are you?" she asked, dusting her hands on her leggings.
Connix nodded and smiled.
"Not bad, all things considered. Thanks," she said. "The general asked me to share some news with you."
"Ooh, news," said Ellra.
"Yeah. The new recruits are here. I've come to sync your datapad so you know their schedule. Leia wants you training with them as often as your work allows. They've already received basic military training from the academy, so you need to focus to catch up. The Resistance officers will be teaching them advanced stuff. But Leia thinks you'll catch up in no time and be a top soldier."
"The general said that?" gasped Ellra, pressing her fingers to her lips.
"Yeah. She and Poe… Well, a lot of people actually, look forward to seeing how you do. Pretty much all of command is expecting to have to send the cappa back to your village so you can be a full-time fighter," said Connix, smiling proudly.
"That would never happen," said Ellra, smiling humbly at her own boots. "Animal care is probably the only thing I'll ever be good at."
"Don't sell yourself short now," said Connix, suddenly serious. "This isn't some elite organization. I mean, granted, we have a lot of elite, like Poe and Leia. But most of us are regular civilians who want to do right. You're no different from seventy-five percent of the Resistance."
"Really?" said Ellra, smiling slowly as she pulled a thick lock out of her face to meet Connix's eye.
"Absolutely. Maybe you're not good at flying or fighting or medicine or spying or programming or whatever, but you'll be good at something of equal importance. And if you want, you can use that skill and talent to help. We'd all be proud to have you, Ellra," said Connix. "That's the truth."
"Wow, Kaydel, that means…" began Ellra, pausing to gather her suddenly rushing thoughts. "That means so much to hear, to know. I don't intend to disappoint anyone."
"You won't. Now, I gotta hurry back to command, so hold up your datapad."
Ellra retrieved her pad from the crate in front of the animal enclosure and held it up in front of Connix. She gently tapped the datapad with her own and they both beeped a confirmation.
"There you go," said Connix, folding her pad under one arm and gently placing her other hand on Ellra's bicep. "I really hope you do well. Please don't hurt yourself trying to fit in. We all believe in you – remember that. It was nice seeing you, Ell. Good luck."
"Thanks, Kaydel. I'll see you," said Ellra, beaming.
Ellra hastily finished her chores, double checking the security feeds on her datapad before leaving the area and fixing it to her belt. She was eager to find the new recruits and join them in whatever training exercise they were already engaged in.
She trotted up the valley to the landing area and looked around, somehow expecting to see the new soldiers in formation in front of the hangar. She shook her head when she saw the tarmac empty but for a single Y-wing being noisily hammered on by a frustrated service droid.
"That's silly," said Ellra to herself. "I have their schedule."
She took her datapad out and looked through the new notes Connix had sent her. There was more information available than she expected and she scrolled through until she found what she was looking for. The schedule didn't begin until 13:00, after lunch, and it was only 10:40.
"Well," drawled Ellra, shrugging to herself, "guess it's early lunch for me."
In the commissary, she found her missing soldiers. The new recruits were dispersed throughout the dining room, apparently taking advantage of the quiet period between lunch and breakfast.
Ellra suddenly felt as she had when she first arrived on D'Qar: shy, uncertain, out of place. She hastily selected her lunch and rushed out of the commissary, instead opting to eat her lunch in the shade of the hills outside, sitting on her favorite stack of crates that never seemed to move.
She ate her lunch leisurely and then busied herself with studying notes about X-wings and spaceflight on her datapad, almost forgetting about her plans to train, until a familiar voice boomed across the tarmac.
"Cadet Oka!"
Ellra jumped and nearly dropped her datapad. She wasn't used to being yelled at or addressed so and it made her heart race.
"Who?" she said dumbly, looking around.
"Takin' the new recruits out for some ground maneuvers," said Poe, his officer's uniform looking crisp, hands resting on his hips. "Wanna join?"
"I… Maneu…? What?" she mumbled, reorganizing her thoughts.
"Wanna train, silly?"
"Oh, absolutely!" she cried, flinging herself off the crate.
Behind Poe was about fifty of the new recruits, lined up in a sloppy formation, all shining in their new olive uniforms. The ones who would become mechanics, medics, technicians, pilots, communications specialists, and anything else, had already been sent to their respective areas to acclimate or train. This group constituted those who would become trained ground fighters.
"Hey, she can't train in her civvies," said one of the recruits, pointing to Ellra's fleece tunic.
Poe shot the young man a look.
"She's not military," he said simply.
"Then why is she training with us?" asked another.
"Because she's our guest!"
Ellra was at Poe's side, panting slightly.
"The general actually requested it," she said, tossing some curls out of her way.
That information made some of the soldiers mutter to one another.
Letting his eyes roam up and down Ellra's outfit, Poe nodded in begrudging agreement with the first recruit. He leaned into her hair a bit and said softly, "We will have to get you your own uniform eventually."
"Is pink not Resistance-y enough?"
Her smile was sassy; she felt suddenly bold. A couple of the recruits chuckled.
Poe smiled, letting his gaze soften as he looked into Ellra's eyes.
"Here," he said, handing her a heavy backpack she only just noticed. "You'll need this. And please tie up your loose hair."
Ellra took it and slipped her arms through the straps, settling the pack in the middle of her back. It was heavier than she expected, but the straps distributed the weight evenly and securely. She felt confident she could carry it all day.
She fished a big hair tie out of her pocket and pulled her loose curls into a huge ponytail at the back of her head; her braids hung freely in front.
"Fall in!" Poe suddenly barked, the softness in his eyes gone.
She didn't jump this time. She trotted to the back of the group and fell in line with the other soldiers, ready to begin.
Black Squadron had another mission. They weren't allowed to discuss it, but rumors circulated. The words "Hutt" and "prison" got whispered. Words that scared Ellra to the bone.
In her spare time during the two days leading up to the mission, she followed Poe around for no other reason than feeling like her mere presence would somehow cast a protective spell over his body.
Ellra was in training the morning they left. She didn't make it to the tarmac in time to bid Poe farewell, and her heart shuddered with fear and disappointment. The pilots were already in their fighters, engines humming, when she bolted out of the base.
"Hey, Poe!" she cried across the tarmac.
Poe looked up from the control panel in front of him and spotted her, his eyes lighting up. He stood up in the cockpit and leaned forward.
"What?" he cried back.
"Be careful!"
"Don't I always?"
Ellra paused, unsure if she was ready to say this out loud. She grinned to herself and took a deep breath.
"I'll miss you! Come back to me!" she hollered, hands cupped at her mouth.
She wasn't sure she'd ever seen Poe look that happy in all her time knowing him.
"Nothing could keep me away from you!" he called before blowing a kiss.
Having spent so much time in nature, Ellra adapted well to ground training. She had reasonable strength for someone her size, knowledge of plants and fauna, and good survival skills. While she wasn't experienced like the other young soldiers, she held her own and did not require assistance to keep up.
The training also kept her mind off the danger that her friends could be facing while on their mission.
A few days later they arrived with more stories to tell, but Poe was again solemn and worried.
Ellra asked, but Poe was even less forthcoming than the last time. She knew it wasn't about her, or even Poe's ability to trust her, but about the cause of his worry; it was dangerous even to contemplate. And that scared Ellra more, knowing some secret danger haunted the pilots of Black Squadron in addition to the dangers they already faced on their adventures.
Ellra found that she had a natural talent for shooting. First being given a training blaster, she was a far more accurate marksman than someone who had never shot before should be.
When Poe was able, he liked to be the one overseeing Ellra's training, so he noticed her knack quickly and was quite impressed. Enough so that he mentioned this skill to the sniper coach, Colonel Umber, who decided that Ellra would train under her.
Ellra liked being a soldier. She liked the camaraderie, the physical challenge, the blaster training. She was excited to train under Umber and become a sniper.
Umber was an imposing woman. Tall and broad, with dark green skin, and eyes that glowed like embers. She wasn't mean, but she was stark and stoic and powerful, which could be intimidating.
Somewhere over a week into ground training, Ellra was sent up to a green hillside with a few other recruits to begin sniper practice. Poe took the afternoon off so that he could watch her, Black Squadron not having any particular missions at the moment.
Somehow, Ellra wasn't intimidated but was instead comforted by his presence. Having all eyes on her, however, did make her nervous. Her hands shook under the pressure and she knew that she wouldn't be at her best.
She lay on her belly in the soft grass, her hands trembling as she clutched the blaster rifle.
"I don't think I can do this," she whispered.
"You can," said Poe, kneeling beside her.
"Quit coddling her, Poe," said the colonel.
"Shut up, Lee," said Poe.
He gently shifted Ellra's left arm, nestling the rifle more snugly into her hand.
"The sight does all the work for you. Breathe. Trust your body."
Ellra gasped and jerked the trigger back. The gun fired and a black scorch mark smoked in the grass half a meter away from the target.
"That was embarrassing," said Umber, looking over her shoulder at Ellra, who was squeezing her eyes shut against tears of embarrassment.
"Don't listen," whispered Poe, putting a gentle hand between her should blades. "Inhale, hold, squeeze, exhale."
Ellra repeated the mantra under her breath. Inhale. Hold. Squeeze. Exhale. Inhale. Hold. Squeeze. Exhale. Was the target always so far away?
"You can do this," said Poe encouragingly, leaning back to give her space.
Inhale.
She drew a slow breath, flexing her fingers over the warm metal. Her eyes unfocused in front of her as she saw the target up close in her mind's eye.
Hold.
As her lungs filled, she slipped her right index finger around the trigger. She envisioned the center of the target smoking like the scorch mark on the ground.
Squeeze.
Her left thumb balancing the weapon against her right hand, she tightened her finger around the trigger, feeling a strange sense of calm as the rifle twitched, releasing the energy beam into the space between her and the target.
"Son of a bitch…"
Poe slowly rose, staring at the distant target, the four words he just spoke having barely hissed through his teeth. He slowly turned his upper body to meet Umber's bright eyes; she had paused mid-sentence to turn and gape at Ellra.
"How did you do that?" she demanded, the recruit on the ground beside her forgotten.
"Didn't I do what I was supposed to?" asked Ellra, getting up on her knees and holding the rifle close, barrel up.
"You did exactly what you were supposed to do," said Poe, "after six weeks of practice."
Ellra turned to him then to the target in the distant shrubbery where a single, tiny black hole smoked in the dead center.
She watched as Poe's eyes moved quickly between her face, the gun in her hands, Umber, and the target.
"D-did you…?" he stammered.
Poe gestured vaguely to the target and the rifle. He leaned closer to Ellra and stage whispered, "…You know, the Force?"
She frowned, but before she could respond, he shook his head dismissively and said, "I know, I know. You don't believe in the Force. But you just did something!"
"I closed everything else out and focused on the target. I did what you said and breathed," said Ellra.
Poe chewed his lip and nodded softly.
"You're somethin'."
Ellra quickly became Colonel Umber's top student thanks to her abilities. She all but stopped her ground training and focused on becoming a sniper, which progressed surprisingly fast.
She didn't need to be told to hide in the sun so her enemies wouldn't see her, as she had watched birds of prey swoop down on small creatures right from the midday sun many times. This was her favorite tactic and she used it religiously during training with the other recruits; she would have the most "kills" because of the diffused glare of D'Qar's sun through the clouds.
Ellra's talent impressed even General Organa, who officially gave her the rank of Cadet and welcomed her into the chain of command. Her livestock duties trumped her training, but she was officially part of the Resistance now and there was no going back.
Everyone at home was so proud when she told them over holo, except for her cousin who seemed more worried than impressed, but Ellra assured her that she would be fine and would make her proud someday.
One morning before training, Poe flagged Ellra down in the commissary.
"Hey, can I talk to you?"
She nodded and they sat down together. As she sprinkled hot sauce on her eggs, Poe began.
"You're friends with damn near every social group on base. You helped the mechanics, the nurses gave you first aid training, maintenance and kitchen consider you one of their own. It's really impressive. And cute."
Ellra smiled softly, avoiding Poe's adamant gaze.
"But there's one group you're friendly with whom you haven't yet let teach you anything," he said.
Ellra's eyes flew to four people in orange jumpsuits at the next table who were finishing their breakfast before heading out on a scouting mission.
"You're wondering why I haven't asked you to teach me to fly," she said softly.
"It's not even personal," he said, leaning back in his seat. "I wonder why you haven't asked anyone."
She thought of the simplest answer she could, but it sounded so lame on her lips: "I'm scared."
Poe was clearly having none of it. He scoffed and said, "You learned to set broken bones. You're training to become a sniper. Flying's nothing to that. What are you scared of specifically? Training? Being in the air? Having to be alone with a sexy pilot who might break down your defenses and find his way into your cold, cold heart?"
She couldn't even look serious. She laughed softly and looked up to see Poe's crooked grin.
"What, uh, what was that last one?" she asked, blinking thoughtfully.
"Airsickness," Poe said quickly, the smirk cracking into a full smile.
Ellra reached across the table and placed her hand on his.
"I'm comfortable with you, Poe. I trust you and the other pilots. You're all lovely," she said, after a thoughtful pause. "I am afraid that I will be good enough to become a pilot but not good enough to support you all on an actual mission. I'm afraid of failing. Failing the pilots, failing the Resistance… failing you. I don't think I'll become the pilot you want me to be and I'm so scared of disappointing you."
"Oh, shit, Ell," sighed Poe, ruffling his hair back from his forehead. "I didn't mean to set you up like that. You don't… I never meant for you to think you had some impossible standard to live up to."
The anxiety that had crept into her chest since the day Poe told her he saw stars in her eyes suddenly vanished. She had built it up in her head that she had to be what Poe wanted her to be and suddenly she didn't have to. She could breathe again.
"I thought…" she began.
Poe shook his head.
"I want to teach you to fly so you can do something you love, not because you have to. I wanna see the look on your face the first time you break the atmosphere. I don't want to see you… to see you fight."
"I want to fly. I want to fly with you," said a little too quickly, her excitement overloading her caution.
"Then we'll fly," he said, grinning roguishly.
Poe was sent off on a solo mission. It was meant to be short and sweet, but Ellra still felt an overwhelming sense of dread welling up in her chest. She related this to Poe.
"It won't be like that. I'm meeting an old friend for drinks. We're going to exchange some information. That's all, I promise," said Poe, comfortingly rubbing Ellra's shoulder.
She shook her head.
"The spirits keep whispering about a storm."
Here Poe cocked his head.
"A storm huh? Well, the location is known for its storms, but I promise that's a foreseen aspect," he said. "Please tell the spirits I'm grateful for their concern."
Poe winked.
Ellra managed a smile back, but she still felt a sense of dread that she knew she wouldn't shake until Poe returned safely the next day.
Unfortunately, that sense of dread was replaced with a whole new one when Poe returned with a beautiful woman accompanying him. She had bright blue skin, sharp teeth, long black hair, and clever eyes.
Ellra stood in the shadow of the hangar as their transport touched down, and when she saw the woman with Poe, she felt so ill she wasn't able to go greet him. Or was it willing?
She watched Poe, the general, and the woman leave the transport and head deep into the base. She wanted to follow and find out what was going on – maybe meet the woman and gauge her intent – but she couldn't bring herself to, so she went back to work and ignored Poe for three days instead.
One evening a few weeks into her being a soldier, Ellra walked into the commissary for dinner.
She hadn't heard the room so loud or seen it so packed. 75 new people took up a lot of space and rarely did this many people eat at the same time. The seats were full with some standing by the walls, eating with one hand while the other held their tray..
"Spirits," she mumbled to herself, getting in line.
She scanned the room for a table with an empty seat or at least with a friendly face, but she didn't notice any of her friends in the crowd.
After getting her food, Ellra wandered around the edge of the room, scanning it for Poe or Ilya or Kaydel. Even annoyed with Poe for spending time with a beautiful woman, she was eager to see his kind face. She spotted a pair of her fellow recruits standing in the corner and walked over to them. They greeted her but didn't engage her much in conversation. She was grateful for company, however, and ate silently beside them, resting her shoulder on the wall.
As dinner wound down and some spaces cleared, Ellra went and sat with some pilots she knew by association. One, a funny-looking young man with bright red hair and sparkling eyes, kept making passes at her.
"Did it hurt when you left Iego?" he asked.
"What?" mumbled Ellra, a mouthful of her dessert cup.
"You're cute with your mouth full."
Ellra didn't notice part of Black Squadron sitting down at the next table because she was focused on the growing unease in her belly. She knew what the next line would be and she felt sick.
"I'd like to see it full of something else."
"Hey, you can't talk to my girl like that!" cried Poe, seemingly from out of nowhere, crossing the space with shockingly long strides.
"I'm not – Wait, I'm your girl?" sputtered Ellra, whipping around to look at Poe.
"You're my – I'm not – Shit – I'm sorry. You don't have to be my girl," he said, looking smaller and smaller with each word.
"Well, w – we – we'll talk about it later. For the purposes of this argument, I'm your girl," she said, gesturing to the offender with both hands and her spoon.
"You can't talk to my girl like that," said Poe once more, rolling his sleeves up to his elbows and turning to the other pilot once more.
"I don't even know what's happening," said the offender, looking over at his companions.
"That's Poe Dameron," said one of them, grabbing the pilot's arm and trying to pull him to his feet.
"Who?" he said dumbly.
"Who?" repeated Poe, indignant. "He doesn't know who I am!"
Ellra shrugged, not sure what to say to comfort him.
"You don't wanna fight him," said another of the other pilots.
"He's the best pilot in the Resistance," said the first companion. "He's fought the First Order face-to-face and won!"
"I guess I don't wanna fight you?" said the offender uncertainly. "Whatever."
The group got up and walked away, arguing amongst themselves, leaving Ellra looking confused and helpless.
Poe grinned proudly.
"Wow. That doesn't usually work," he said. "You know, without blows landing first," he added.
Ellra chuckled.
"I guess my line is, 'my hero,'" she said, rising to throw her arms around Poe's neck.
She planted a sloppy kiss to his cheek.
"Shit," drawled Poe. "I should defend your honor more often."
Ellra grinned and nudged his shoulder with hers.
"There's worse things," she said.
Snap, Karé, and Bastian were still at the next table, so Ellra gently led Poe by the arm to an empty corner of the room – she just had to ask.
"So, is that hotshot flyboy talk for 'officially together'? You know, the whole 'my guy, my girl' thing."
Poe grimaced. It was actually cute.
"I didn't mean to put you on the spot like that," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "It came out before I had a chance to think about what I was saying."
"I saw you with a pretty lady the other day," said Ellra before she could stop herself.
Realization dawned on Poe's face and he nodded.
"Sura's an old friend from the navy," he said. "And she's currently on 'fresher duty for questionable behavior."
"So she's not…?"
Poe grinned. "Not what?"
Ellra sighed in frustration, making Poe snicker. She changed the direction of the conversation.
"So, do you really want me to be your girl? Like, in a serious way."
The cocky smirk was clearly intended to hide the uncertainty Poe suddenly felt, but it shone through his eyes as vividly as every other emotion he experienced, and the stark contrast struck Ellra deep in her chest. She was making Poe Dameron feel this way?
"Is that something you'd like?" he asked, a little more softly, a little more sincerely than he seemed to have intended.
Ellra looked down, letting her hair hide her fearful expression for a moment.
"Only if it's real," she said, confident in that one condition. "Not some joke or game or public display. If our relationship is as real as our feelings for one another, then I'm in. We can establish everything else as we go."
Poe scooped Ellra up in his arms so that her weight was balanced against his body, his arms wrapped around her middle, and beamed up at her.
"Oh, Sunshine, it's real, alright."
He kissed her softly on the mouth and Ellra's heart fluttered right out of her body like a butterfly.