Chapter 3 "Police Girl Meets Whiskers"
The Tall Man looked at me over his shoulder at me with a grin and spoke once more in his strange speech. I bolted in front of him and asked once more where I was and again he merely stared at me with an amused expression and stepped around me. I tapped his shoulder and when he turned I point at myself than him then motioned with my index fingers showing them grouping up. He sighed and nodded. We kept walking for a couple of minutes until there was a clearing in the woods the Tall Man stopped suddenly and tensed. I heard a loud groan, alerted I turned, drawing my revolver, and was met with a gruesome sight: a crowd of walking corpses with violet glowing eyes and covered in various flesh wounds. I heard a deafening crack of a firearm and turned to see the Tall Man firing into the crowd of corpses scoring head shots and leaving huge holes. With a hint of jealousy looking at my revolver that was dwarfed in size, I fired my weapon from the hip, spamming the hammer and getting 6 perfect head shots. The Tall Man whistled to get my attention he then shot a corpse in the chest; the bullet carrying such force that it pushed the corpse into the tree behind it, causing the bark to splinter. The undead quickly rose to its feet seemingly unaffected and kept walking, the Tall Man then shot it in the head and it stayed on the ground, I nodded with a grin that was quickly outclassed by his own sinister smirk before turning and unloaded my weapon once more into the mass of undead flesh. In a few minutes nothing except the Tall Man and I remained standing, excluding a corpse that I pinned to a tree with a Kunai through the eye socket whose feet were perfectly level to the ground which could be considered standing. Anyway, we continued walking in the direction where the corpses emerged with the Tall Man chatting at me in his strange language again, I'm assuming about my performance as a marksman. Suddenly I felt the familiar mental pull that preceded a meeting with the Kyūbi I observed my surroundings one last time with my Sharingan activated before slipping away into my subconscious as I closed my eyes.
I opened my eyes and was met with a shrine with huge red doors buried into the side of a frost covered mountain that had a blood-red water cascading down a slope into a crimson orange sea down below. I leapt from stone to stone until I came upon the end of the mountain and walked to the shore. The orange liquid quivered as a deep voice growled in frustration. "Finally your thick skull let my summons through!" Exclaimed the water. "OI, WHO YOU CALLING STUPID?" I screamed indignantly at the body of water. "ENOUGH!..." The voice exclaimed with a small tidal wave as if to insinuate its point. "Boy we aren't in the Elemental region anymore.." The voice said as it started to explain something with a lecturing tone. "No shit? Really? I didn't get that Brainiac." I muttered. "SILENCE YOU EGOTISTICAL, SAD EXCUSE FOR A MAN! WE AREN'T HOME, YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND ANYONE AND THERE ARE MONSTERS WALKING AROUND SO FOR ONCE IN YOUR MEAGER LIFE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" The voice yelled displaying enough power that the ocean resembled a roaring flame for a split-second. I fell on my ass in shock, Kurama yells at everyone except me, getting a hold of the pressure upon us I nodded and reminded seated. "Ok...now I've listened to your pal talk for about half an hour now so I'm confident enough to say that I think I recognize the language." Said the chakra entity. "R-Really? What is it?" I said trying not to stutter. "One of the clans the Jūbi exterminated in the First Era spoke a less...refined dialect of this language. The Jūbi would transform its splinter beasts into manlike forms at times to infiltrate villages, like this one, for fun." He explained as the water's current accelerated slightly, as if excited to discuss this subject. "How is that fun?" I asked. "Oh you know the lust, violence and stupidity that your kind exhibit daily is so humorous to higher beings such as us that it's understandable that the Jūbi would want to experience as much as possible before destroying them." He stated with a chuckle. "… true." I said with a sigh and a nod. I swear our species sucks sometimes when you look at us from an outsider's prospective. "Anyway let's bond our chakra so I can give you rudimentary knowledge of the language. I must warn you thigh you will have very little room for inflection since you are forcing your vocal cords to produce unfamiliar noises. That's a side effect of being a chimp. " The Kyūbi said as a stream of water flowed out of the ocean and touched my feet and started to rise around my body in spiral columns. "Fuck off." I muttered before I exhaled slowly as I felt an intrusive, ancient presence invade my mind with a primal tenacity. I grit my teeth as the demonic chakra altered my vocal cords to be more accepting to the foreign syllables. After several moments of discomfort, suddenly the invasive presence ceased its barrage and my discomfort subsided. "Well that was shitty." I said in the foreign language. "Good for you now get the fuck out of here I need to rest." The sea said with an annoyed tone."Oh and by the way duck." He quickly added "a bird? Here?" I thought as I was brought back to reality, I opened my eyes just in time to see a low branch collide with my forehead. "Fuck a Duck, he meant to duck." I groaned as I tried to rub the pain away in my forehead. "I told you to duck, Whiskers." The Tall Man exclaimed with a sadistic chuckle. I subconsciously pulsed my chakra to check if my mother's mask hiding my true appearance was still in effect and discovered it was, confused I stated, "Who the fuck are you calling Whiskers?" As 'politely' as possible. "Oh so you do speak English and like an American too. It matches somehow." He said with a grin that countered his somewhat disappointed tone of voice as he adjusted his glasses. "Yeah it's been a while… plus I've never had to actually speak this language is it took me a while to remember." I stared as he motioned for me to keep moving as we made our way through a small town we must have come across when I was on autopilot. I eyed the hectic state of the shops and the random patches of blood and gore. "I-I'm Kirisuto Uzumaki and I'm new to uh...wherever the fuck I am...who are you?" I said casual as a social reject could as I searched my backpack for my shotgun, just in case we ran into anymore dead guys. Just as I found the firearm we came upon a large wooden door, I craned my head to further observe the building and was met with a one story high, old, pentagon shaped building. "You'll see soon enough. For now just follow and keep at the ready, I smell trash nearby. " Was all the Tall Man said before we entered the building.
The building was filled with symmetrical rows of long benches with a podium in front of a large cross with what appeared to be a person nailed to it. "Must be a weird memorial or something. Still...that's pretty depressing...is he a martyr or something?" I thought before noticing two silhouettes arguing in the shadows. The tense silence was pierced by a feminine voice's cry for help. Followed by a pair of gunshots and a panicked clack. I took a step forward bringing my shotgun to bear only to be blocked by the Tall Man's arm. "Wait I'll handle this, Whiskers." He said with a surprising amount of seriousness and joy in his voice. I simply scoffed and complied, if only to see how the Tall Man will handle a situation that required boring ass diplomacy as opposed to easily more entertaining violent disagreements. Basically I want to see how much shit he can talk. My thoughts were suddenly disturbed by a sickening, egotistical voice. "...I need a loyal slave. There is no way a girl your age with such a… pleasurable… body could be a virgin. I will enjoy every inch of your being before I drain it of life and make you nothing but a sack of flesh for my disposal." The creepy shadow said in an appalling tone, giving me the sufficient desire to kill the bastard. "He reminds of that pig from back home." I thought before a small smile grew as I remember using is fat blood to slaughter those cattle. I ducked under the Tall Man's arm and rushed towards the man's shadow and grabbed his shoulders yanking him away from the girl then pivoted to fling him into the cross. Before he made contact, I fired a duo of shells into his back, staining the wall with decaying, blackened blood. I then turned to the girl, sticking my gun out for her to get up, which she did and then immediately moved so I was between her and the Creep. "This I why I hate people they do stupid shit like this just for a moment of physical, vain pleasure. I despise how...demeaning and feral some people act to get what they want. Like this..d- no not even a dog is this low, this Bitch before me is so weak and ill-suited to live and yet he does...and so many more like him do...it makes me so angry...why do they get to live?" I thought simmering with hate. "You miserable little shit!" The Creep screamed as he burst out from behind a pew only to catch another shell in the midsection before dispersing into gray smoke."Shadow Clones?' I thought silently to myself as I reinserted a trio of shells into my shotgun before cocking the lever. "You seem to not be as pathetic as I originally thought if you can turn into mist." The Tall Man said with a hint of interest. "Who might you be good sir? I can tell you are a Vampire as well, do you wish to join up?" said the Creep from his hiding place. Using this time to prepare for battle, I started to consciously monitor my chakra flow and reached for my sword. I then stopped, confused, when I noticed how hard it was to utilize, let alone feel, my chakra flow. I assumed using through the time/space would take a lot out of me but it must have weakened the Kyūbi as well, hence why it took so long for him to get though my 'thick skull.' I frowned, this was quite bad while I am good at Taijutsu I am a Shinobi after all, let alone a ninjutsu oriented type. I looked at the girl behind me with my peripheral vision, if I was a better person I'd try to comfort her. I'd like to but I don't really think anything I'd say would be comforting, I tend to over think what I say and just cause more confusion so I just looked at her and said, "Just keep breathing, this'll be over soon." She tiptoed closer to my back and nodded silently, trying to calm down. "I am called Alucard and to be honest I'd sooner shit in my hands and clap before I'd raise a finger to assist pathetic gutter trash such as you. You who aren't worthy to be called a Nosferatu, a Vampire." The Tall Man called Alucard exclaimed with a tenacious tone as he stepped forward. The Creep growled in response to being insulted then snapped his fingers and in an instant undead broke through the walls of the building before stumbling inside. I drew my revolver before noticing a fallen gun that resembled Alucard's. Eyeing the girl's holster it appeared to belong to her so I handed it to the girl and said, "Shoot only to protect yourself I'll do my best so you won't have to ok? Aim for the head." She seemed to get a bit more confident and took the gun before pulling on the top part of it. Satisfied with her response I turned and shot into the crowd of undead with my shotgun as well as my revolver killing 9 undead in one go. I then holstered my revolver quickly and began reloading my shotgun as I kicked a corpse in the face catapulting it back into the crowd causing a couple of other corpses to stumble. Halfway through reloading, I finally had gathered enough chakra for a C- rank Jutsu so I slung my shotgun over my shoulder and walked backwards, forcing the girl to move back as then I made the Horse then Tiger hand seals, because doing the Jutsu seal-less would use more chakra. I held my hands on the tiger seal and kneaded my chakra into flames, I felt the fire build up in my throat and at the last moment I mentally exclaimed, "Fire Style: Fireball." Then I expelled a stream of flames from my mouth that rushed towards the crowd of corpses in a ball of flames, turning the majority of the undead into ash and lighting others ablaze.
My Jutsu was cut off prematurely when I received a strong hit to my back and flew into the pews breaking one in half as I collapsed. I looked down and saw a bit of rib sticking out of my chest, snarling, I turned around while drawing my revolver only to see the Creep had the girl in a sleeper hold causing me to hesitate. "What the hell are you?" Exclaimed the Creep. "I'm about to be a whole lot worse I'd you don't let her go." Was all I responded with before pushing my bone back in and letting the Creep see it heal instantaneously. h stared his mouth agape, giving Alucard the chance to shoot the Creep through the girl, blasting both of their chest cavities apart. Infuriated, I bolted towards Alucard and slashed through his body, decapitating him in one harsh motion before sprinting to the girl. She was crying and struggling to breathe, I pulled out some morphine from a military first aid kit then injected her with some before using a basic medical Jutsu. But I used almost all of my chakra in the fireball, I couldn't help her. She looked up at me and smiled weakly. "Thank you." Said the girl before she went silent trying her best to fight off death. I grit my teeth. I failed again, because of my carelessness I allowed another good person to die. I stood up and grabbed from the floor by the throat the Creep and shoved him against the wall before shoving my fingers into the Creep's eye sockets, as I screeched I spoke to him in a voice quivering with hatred, "I hate everything about this world...any world...where bullshit like this happens. I don't understand why we even want to live if wastes of life like you walk around doing nothing but fueling the egotistical assholes in power to guide the cattle to be slaughtered, all at the expense of the few who live well. I hate that people like me have to exist as a bridge that good people step on to go on with their lives and I hate that scum like you hide beneath me like a mosquito that is so pathetic that it can't survive without my blood...you are nothin so will become nothin. Die." I slammed my hand against the wall, turning the creep's brain to mulch and the back of his skull into fragments. I turned around and saw Alucard biting the neck of the girl, with my thirst for vengeance reinvigorated I began to run at him but blacked out to the sound of a gunshot
I woke up in a cellar-like room lit by candles I tried to sit up but discovered I was bound by leather straps around my wrists, ankles and my abdomen, these straps looked as though they were designed for patients with mental disorders that are physically larger than I so they'd be a bitch to tear. I then heard a slight grumble of unintelligible sleep talk across the room and turned to see the girl from the town. I whispered trying to get her attention. "Girl." She woke up startle and immediately had the hem of her pajama shirt up for some reason, as if searching for the gunshot wound, she then tuned to me and shrieked. "Sorry but if you didn't notice...I'm chained to a fucking bed!" I yelled in response since I've always been kind of cranky when I wake up. The girl nodded and began to get out of bed when a tall blonde woman who was intimidating and had quite the dominating presence interrupted us. I felt a ping of fear and...admiration?...anyway let's not go there. She turned to the girl and said in a firm voice, "You're too loud Police Girl. I don't care if you're a Vampire or Godzilla, you're still English, have some manners." The newly dubbed Police Girl's face dropped and sank over depressed at the absurdity of the situation. "Boo fucking hoo." I thought before speaking up, I don't have time to worry about some girl's feelings. "Well that's fine and dandy but do you mine explaining why I am more tightly fixed than the stick up your ass?" I said with an aggravated voice. "Those kind of comments are exactly why, young man. If you have poor manners and a bad attitude people might assume you aren't as innocent as you make yourself out to be." She said with a hint of amusement in her voice.I glared and pulsed my chakra before struggling, managing to break the abdomen strap. I then looked up and said while activating my Sharingan subconsciously to the surprise of the woman. "That's one, four to go, you have until then to tell me where I am and let me go yourself. Or...I will get free, kill you, grab the Cop and waltz my fine ass outta here." I said in a voice radiating with well, just general anger, which is my neutral disposition. "With all due respect I highly doubt that boy." The ponytail wearing older man said. "With all due respect you better not assume what I can or cannot do. It will cost you." I said just as curtly as my left leg strap snapped causing the Police Girl swallow hard in worry. "Uh I don't think that's a good idea...um Lucifer?" Police Girl said with a nervous side-glance while poking at her new fangs. "My name is Kirisuto Uzumaki, Police Girl. Also for future reference where I come from its common place to introduce yourself before talking out of your ass, Sweetie." I said before breaking my right leg restraint, not getting her allusion. "My name is Seras Victoria! Not Police Girl and certainly not Sweetie you Perverted Yankee Wanker!" Seras Victoria said while simultaneously throwing one of her house shoe's at me. Said shoe knocked the wind out of me since the force behind it resembled being kicked by a fucking horse. As I gave up trying to decipher what the fuck a 'Yankee Wanker' was I turned to the older Woman and said, "OK OK I'll be nice. I, Kirisuto Uzumaki and Seras Victoria lay on our beds half-asleep in peace so will you please let me go? Also it would be great if you mind telling us who you are and why we are here I'd appreciate it." I said before fluttering my eyes like an adorable princess. The older man smirked and Seras' eye twitched, however the Woman's face countenance remained stern. "My name is Sir Integra Fairbrook Wingates Hellsing and you are currently in the Headquarters of the Hellsing Organization, we are the monsters that protect England from the other monsters." Integra explained. "Like Vampires or walking corpses?" I said. "Correct along with the occasionally Werewolf." She said before turning to Seras. "Also, I hate to say this but since Alucard is currently sleeping I must tell you that you are now a Vampire and now you must join Hellsing." She said with a slightly kinder voice. "She isn't a threat Integra, She was a cop for fuck's sake." I argued to Integra. "Kirisuto…" Seras started only to be interrupted. "I can't let a Vampire that has been sired by Alucard free in England without supervision. She stays or dies." She said moving her coat to show her pistol. I escaped my bindings, appearing by to Seras side and channeled wind chakra into my hand making orange gusts of wind appear to glide down my right arm. Then I tapped a tattoo seal on my right bicep and drew a Kunai from the white smoke that appeared. "That's not gonna happen." I said "Playing the hero again Whiskers?" Alucard exclaimed as he faded through the ceiling only to be hit in the crotch by a pocket of pressurized air. "The only people who are Heroes are either loved by all or feared. I'm too shy to be feared and a dick to be liked, let alone loved. So I stick with being a dick for hire." I said in a voice filled with false sincerity, causing Alucard to laugh. Integra barked out the order to back down and Alucard moved to her side while I remained besides beside Seras as the wind ceased to dance across my forearm. Integra's eyes stayed locked on me as she straightened out her coat then puffed on her cigar. "What are you?" She said. "A Shinobi, er...magic user?." I said hesitantly, not thinking Integra would accept this but she looked past it. "Are you human?" Asked Integra examining my eyes. "Yes." I answered. "Are willing to kill?" She asked. "Depends on the person, giving the orders and receiving my blade. " I stated to the surprise of the Draculina behind me. "Why do you fight?" Was the Knight's last question. "To get strong enough to save someone I failed." I answered honestly looking slightly downcast unintentionally. "You're hired." She stated. "But..." I started only to be interrupted by Integra. "You are foreign correct? Well I can have you tried for being an illegal immigrant unless you are here for work she said with the slightest of smiles. I frowned but gave in, knowing I could leave whenever I wish. "…very well I'll need my weapons and some clothing would be appreciated." I said gesturing toward my orange boxer briefs before scratching the seal etched with my father's blood on my stomach awkwardly. Seras blushed, Alucard laughed and Integra merely spun on her heel and walked out with the Old man. "Walter, could you bring Mr. Uzumaki here some clothing and return his weapons?" She asked mid stride. "Of course, Sir Integra." He said with a bow. With a yawn I promptly returned to bed ignoring Seras' protests. "First you act all cool, then like a Yankee ass and now you're a lazy butt? Get out of bed you idiot." She said. "Ok...first of all you ain't in charge of nothing but Jack and shit and guess what? Jack left town. Secondly, I fought off a bunch of Undead or whatever and fought two vampires so I'm going to jack off then sleep so you should just fuck off." I said as I pulled the covers up with a giggle. I heard Alucard cackle and Seras growl in frustration before I heard the sound of some furniture scraping across the floor. I turned and saw Seras sitting on a formerly bolted high chair giving me a hard cocky stare with Alucard grinning beside her. "I'm making sure you don't do anything gross Nobhead." She stated with a grin. "The fucks a Nob?" I said aggressively. "Whiskers…Police Girl…you two are going to make thing way more fun around here." Alucard thought with a vicious smile as he went through the floor to his room, startling Kirisuto and Seras. Afraid Seras leapt on the bed only to shove off Kiri who in turn sighed hard and tried to walk away only to be tailed by the blond.
Chapter End