Full Chapter Title: On the road to Viridian City, Everything is going horribly
It's Orange-kun!
Viridian City was absolutely on fire probably. Ass Ketchup arrived with his orangey "friend", and went straight to the gym. "GIOVANNI YOU MOTHERFUCKER COME OUT AND FIGHT ME!" screamed Ash like a little bitch baby. Giovanni showed up and Ash immediately started fiercely punching and kicking him while Giovanni dodged every single hit. Every. Single. Hit. Giovanni is squatting curiously over the now defeated lad. He quickly and efficiently attempted to punt the loser into the previous route, but seeing as this is Route 1…he hurt himself in confusion! Ash took advantage of this to try and kick Giovanni in his stupid head. He succeeded, and Giovanni's head flew clean off. Ash is now a fucking murderer. Officer Jenny showed up to attempt to arrest Ash but then Xehanort and Gary Oak ran over Officer Jenny in their DeLorean.
"WHAT UP BITCH BABY." shouted Gary fucking Oak. This fucker just won't leave. Anywho, Jeseth and Jamison and also Moweth, the classic trio said as they emerged from the nearby shadows of a prop Bibarel and screamed IN ABSOLUTE TERROR BECaUSE FUCK YOU THE gYM LEADER IS DEAD. Gary Oak pulled out a FUCKING GUN and shot Ash in his head. Ash was dead. Orange-kun jumped into the DeLorean and they rocketed off into oblivion. Then they began a new adventure in Oblivion, the absolute hellscape of the gaming community. The echoes of "LOL NOOB" and "WTF MY CONTROLLER ISN'T WORKING" harshly bounced off the walls of this dark purpley landscape.
They went to pick up Grandpa Piss, that absolute bitch baby of a banana. Grandpa Piss Mc Bitch Baby Ok so, Grandpa piss baby was munching on a bag of clear gummy pineapples. He stood up quietly after realizing that the party of fuck wads was approaching. "AAAAA? WHAT WHO IS THIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND MY CAVE?" (but with more yelling but i'm hella lazy so just Imagine) The crew of dipshits realized grandpa piss had become senile so the rational decision was to dodge anything they could. When our brave bitch boys had noticed the Grandpa piss had finally worn himself down enough, they threw Orange-kun at his head, and somehow?it worked? THIS GROWN ASS MAN GOT KNOCKED OU- y'know what I'm just gonna stop questioning this as this point. Orange-Kun was a God anyway, so it was kind of inevitable. ANYWAY, they shoved him in the trunk of the DeLorean, and drove off into the sunset.
Gary Oak was uncomfortable. "What are we even gonna do with this guy?" Xehanort smirked. "KEYBLADE." "Alright I guess." said Gary Oak, who did not understand anything. Unfortunately, no one was paying attention to where the hecky they were driving, and they crashed into a castle. The castle was home to none other than the massive dragon orgy mentioned in the chapter previous. When they crashed through the east wing dining room, the description suddenly stopped, because this was the fabled sex castle, castle of sex, and you already know what they're going to do. BLOW THE PLACE APART wait what? no…OK MAYBE NOT SO VIOLENT MAYBE A LIL MORE SEXY, like Xehanort got out of the DeLorean and did like a sexy pose before dropping the bombs, getting back into the DeLorean, and speeding off. Han Solo and Rayman were dead from the blast, and Alduin was angrier than he had ever been before. Alduin the World Eater soared after the DeLorean, but it reached 80 miles per hour and booty-blasted into another time period before Alduin could catch up. He roared, and swore to find them again.
Syphax was standing on a cliffside, doing it to 'em, watching the wind take its effect, swirling around the trees. He was ready to do his deed, destroying his waifu, Caecilius-chan. He had trained like never before after being banished for hesitation against Caecilius. Working with someone new, he had become a more of an opponent, shoving away any past connections with his summer lover. Sweet, sexy Caecilius was no longer in Syphax's mind. He was nothing more than the remnants of something dream-like. Syphax knew he would have to do it to 'em. A single tear rolled down the man with the callused heart. "UwU what's this? I suppowse I stiw hawve some humanitwy weft, aftew aw this time...such pitifuw cweatures we awe, unabwe to woose usewess things wike feewings uwu."
Caecilius came out of the forest with an ultra cool robot arm and, having heard what Syphax said, let out a mighty "WHAT HTE FUCK." and shot him with the gun implanted in his robot arm. It was kind of awkward though, because the robot arm was not where his missing arm was, and was instead strapped to the shoulder of his good arm. Syphax was hit in the gut, and he fell to his knees. "UwU Caecilius-chan, I newver thought you could defeat me." Caecilius, clearly annoyed, yelled "STOP TALKING BITCH BABY." However, before he could take the final shot and finish off his ex-lover, the DeLorean showed up and ran over Syphax, killing him instantly. Caecilius was not happy. "YOU HAVE DENIED ME MY REVENGE, NOW YOU SHALL PERISH, WORMS." he screeched like a dying pterodactyl, and maybe he was a little bit like a dying pterodactyl as well, in his heart. "HOLY FUCK, DRIVE XEHANORT, DRIVE!" screamed Gary Oak, who had a crippling phobia of robotic arms.
Xehanort stepped on the gas pedal as hard as he could, but Caecilius used his robot arm to shoot one of the tires of the DeLorean, stopping them in their tracks. Gary Oak screamed like a little bitch baby. "KEYBLADE." said Xehanort, and he was probably cursing. Caecilius approached the DeLorean, ready to take his final shot, but Orange-Kun quickly jumped out and opened the trunk, letting out Grandpa Piss. "ORANGE-KUNT WHAT FUCK DO YOU THINK ARE YOU THINKING? GRANDPA PISS BABY IS TOO STRONGE" screamed Gary Oak. But it was too late. Grandpa Piss was out, and he was, for lack of a better word, PISSED. About five seconds later, Caecilius was dead, and Grandpa Piss was on a rampage. "WHAT THE FUCK ORANGE-KUN?" exclaimed Gary Oak. Orange-Kun was hungrier than it had ever been.