This was hell.

Bonnie was in hell.

Well, it was a good run while it lasted.

In the last six months, she'd had so many regrets. They would probably pass in time. They would probably disappear altogether and she'd laugh about it later.

But right now, Bonnie couldn't stop crying.

She was angry. She was sad. She was a mixture of everything in between.

Bonnie wanted to die and Kai wasn't letting her. But she'd be damned if she watched her kids becoming victims to the dark customs of the Gemini. She wouldn't watch this and Kai wouldn't make her watch.

It was a stand-off in the kitchen. There was no one else in the house. Just them. The kids were staying with friends or family. Kai had wanted them to be alone for this conversation.

She sneered. He should have known that this talk would spiral into this.

She wiped the blood from her cheek and picked up the knife. The knife he'd managed to knock out of her hand twice now. Bonnie wouldn't let him do it a third time. Kai knew this. His eyes followed the blade as she pressed it against her neck. A thin trail of red wept from the edge.

"Don't. Move."

"Bon…" Kai slid his foot forward, his hands held up just in front of him.

The knife went deeper into her skin. Bonnie had barely felt the pain. But Kai looked like he had been the one wounded. She wouldn't hesitate. "I said don't move."

His hands curled into fists before lowering to his sides. "Bonnie… I can fix this. Let me fix it!"

She laughed as angry tears slid down her face. "And how do you plan to do that, huh Kai? What great master plan have you been keeping from me that is going to stop one of our children from dying?"

It was like she'd kicked him in the gut. "Bon-"

"TELL ME!"

Her hands trembled - the knife moving away from her skin. She'd unknowingly given him an opening and it was too late to recover it back. Kai moved in faster than she could have imagined. His hands moved to grasp her wrists and a searing hot pain flashed through her. Her power was being sucked right out of her.

Kai hadn't siphoned her in years. Bonnie didn't have the foresight to stop him with her magic. If she did, there was a chance she'd kill him. Regardless of how angry she was, she couldn't bring herself to destroy him.

Someone had to be around to make sure their family was taken care of.

Her vision was skewing and the world was going toward a raw-tilt. But she still tried to fight him, screaming at the top of her lungs even though she already knew what he was trying to do. This was Kai's way of sedating her - of getting her to simmer down.

Bonnie felt her knees give out and the world blurred around her. She never felt the ground because she knew Kai had prevented her from hitting it. A wave of nausea crashed into a wave of dizziness and she still kept fighting. She still kept screaming. But Kai wasn't siphoning from her anymore and her magic was flaring back to life. Bonnie was angry and she wanted to bring on the pain.

Even if it was her own.

"MOTUS!"

Kai's weight flew off of her and there was a loud crash. He grunted loudly and the sound of broken glass crunching underfoot was all she heard before lifting herself up off the ground. Shaking her head roughly, Bonnie's body felt like it was on fire - as though flames were licking her from the ankles up and she didn't care.

"Bonnie!"

"Shut-up!"

"Bonnie, please!"

"Shut-up!"

"Listen to me!"

"Shut-up! Shut-up! Shut-up! SHUT-UUUUUUUP!"

One by one, the windows exploded and rained glass inside - clawing at her face and arms. Her blood ran like ice, shredding her veins while her skin seemed to bubble from heat. There was a roaring sound in her ears - like a torrential downpour was overwhelming her but doing nothing to soothe the fire burning around her. Her heart thundered in her chest like the drums of war until it seemed like it would beat right out of her body.

And like a shock of cold water, she felt hands around her ankles. Bonnie's vision cleared for half a second and she saw Kai on his knees. She braced herself for the siphoning but it never came. His hands slid up her calves, gripping her behind the knees as he buried his face into her thighs. The whirlwind of broken glass was shredding them both - flecks of their blood splattering the kitchen floor.

There was a wet sensation dancing along her skin. Kai was trembling as he held onto her tight and she reached down to curl her fingers into his hair. She fisted the dark tresses, pulling at the roots so she could get his face away from her - to force him to look into her eyes.

A broken expression painted his features - so broken it almost made her weak. But her anger pushed her onward and she continued to pull - feeling some of his hair break off in between her digits.

"Bonnie...please," he whimpered as his eyes filled with more tears, "it doesn't have to be like this."

"Doesn't it?"

The sound of her own voice was so cold; malicious. Bonnie wouldn't have believed it was hers if she didn't already know it to be true. She felt her lip curling upward a margin.

"You killed your own siblings over leadership of your coven. You merged with Luke and manipulated Jo into handing her remaining magic over to you. You were even willing to punish your entire coven for what they'd done to you! Because of The Merge!"

"I can fix it, baby, just let me!"

"LIAR!" She was angry but the tears came anyway. Her grip on Kai's hair loosened and she bit back a sob. "If you could, you would have done it by now…"

She felt his fingers into her skin. "There's still time! I know there's a way to protect them both!"

A bitter laugh tumbled out of her. "How?" She emotions were battling it out: sorrow and rage. "Jo won't let her kids do it. She passed that responsibility onto you - to our babies!"

There was a flash of guilt in his eyes and this only upset Bonnie further. "I'll save them from this. I'll do whatever it takes, Bonnie. You have to believe me!"

She didn't. She wanted to, but she didn't. He couldn't save them because he was the Gemini's current leader. That barbaric ritual was embroiled in his body - in the blood and magic of the entire coven.

"All I have to do is not die. I'll lock myself away if I have to."

"So you're just going to run away from this?"

"They'll be free to live their lives until another set of twins are born. It doesn't have to be our family. But as long as I stay alive, then they don't have to go through with The Merge!"

Bonnie shook her head. "You'd just isolate yourself? Never see your children again?" Her hands slid from his hair to cup his cheeks. "You said you'd never go back into another prison world."

He reached up to grab her wrists, brows knit with worry and desperation. She knew Kai was desperate. It was so clear on his face. "For them I would. For you and our children I'll do anything."

The ache in her chest intensified. "You can't."

"I can and I will."

She fell in love with him all over again.

"I love you, Bonnie."

I love you too.

"And I love our children. Our family."

I know you do.

"I can fix this."

You can't.

"Just let me, please."

I can't.

Leaning down, she brushed her lips across his and a soft sigh was all Bonnie could give as she felt his arms wrap around her. Even after all these years, Kai still knew how to make her weak. He still knew how to make her yearn for him.

Bonnie couldn't bear to live without him.

She broke the kiss, her lips gliding across his cheek. "...I'm sorry."

Her fingers dug into his skin and Bonnie sent forth a surge of magic, causing Kai to scream. He tried to resist, but her grip was stronger as she increased the pressure she was putting into his temples. A few seconds later, everything was quiet save for the thud Kai's body made as he fell to the floor unconscious.

The steady rise and fall of his chest brought her comfort. He was strong. Strong enough to keep going. He would be fine.

Turning on her heel, Bonnie ignored the shards of glass imbedded into her feet and the trail of blood she left behind. The night air was cool on her skin as she stepped out into the yard. It was quiet now.

And without a second glance, Bonnie made her way toward the forest's edge and disappeared into the night. New determination fueled her steps. She knew what needed to be done.

He's right, she thought, green eyes lifting to the full moon, there's still time.

She was gone.

Bonnie Bennett-Parker was gone and had been for five and a half months; nowhere to be found.

Kai was on the precipice of madness. The only thing keeping him from coming completely unglued were his children. Bonnie must have known this. It was why she left. There was no other explanation for it.

He still had a coven to lead and a family to protect. As selfish as he wanted to be to simply put everything aside and search the ends of the earth for her, he couldn't. Bonnie had changed him. His family had changed him.

But the Old Kai wanted to continuously peek out from the surface. His old self whispered to him at night when he was alone, cradling a bottle of vodka in the kitchen or curling up in the bed that he shared with his wife. It was empty now. So were many, many bottles.

Everyone knew he was a mess despite his attempted front to keep it together. There were tell-tale bags under his eyes and he was constantly on edge. At night, when he wasn't drinking himself into some kind of stupor, he was losing sleep trying to locate Bonnie with every spell he could come up with.

She was blocking him.

Abigail and Thomas's birthday was in two weeks.

The Elders were breathing down his neck about the merge ceremony. He would need to be there to witness the transition of power. He was still no closer to finding a solution and while he had opted to create a prison world to protect his family, Kai had problems focusing on the task and was exhausting his magic daily.

But he still tried - his eyes screwed up in concentration as he worked on tinkering with a version of an Ascendant he had started decades ago. Every single memory he could conjure up from that year, he tried to emulate it into the device. Kai was getting thinner but he would always remember to be there for his children.

Jo and Olivia were both worried and his own twin took it upon herself to visit regularly to make sure that he was taking care of himself. Olivia just wanted to make sure he wasn't running himself into an early grave before an heir was declared.

Caroline swore up and down she didn't know where Bonnie was. Initially, he hadn't been inclined to believe her. With her superior vampiric senses and practically being sisters, she couldn't find Bonnie anywhere? He found that hard to believe. But after an intense throwdown, Kai had no choice.

He was starting to lose hope - believing that Bonnie had spirited herself away. Was that even possible? She was a powerful witch and her skills hadn't slacked off in the years. Kai made damn sure of that.

Days shifted by in a blur and before he'd realized it, the witching hour had approached on the morning of his children's birthday.

Time seemed to have stilled to nothing and there was an absence of sound. Kai was hovering between consciousness and delirium. Another empty bottle of vodka sat beside his tools. He was so focused on putting together the new Ascendant that he'd missed the shadowy figure hovering in the corner of his office.

"You look pitiful, you know that?"

His hands stilled and he dropped the small screwdriver on the table with a clatter. It was a voice he hadn't heard in many years. A voice that once had brought him comfort and made him believe that he wasn't the washed up freak of nature his family made him out to be. A voice that reminded him that he had power and wasn't out of the fight.

Lifting his head up slowly, he saw the person come into the light. "S-Sheila?" Kai barely managed to croak out. "Why are you here?"

She folded her arms across her chest, clicking her tongue against the back of her teeth. "To see you. And what a sight you are." The witch paused, canting her head slightly. "Tell me, do you think my granddaughter would be okay seeing you in this state?"

He jumped from his chair. "Where is she? Do you know where she is?" Kai reached out to grab the witch but was mortified when his hands passed through her. "Sheila, tell me! I'm begging you!"

A pained expression came over the older witch's face before she sighed. "You'll see her soon, child."

Kai watched her turn to leave - preparing to disappear into the darkness. "Wait!"

She paused and glanced over her shoulder at him. "...she loves you so much, Malachai. You and her family."

"Sheila!"

But then she was gone and Kai was alone once more.

Darkness had descended and Kai watched helplessly as his children stood facing each other. The Elders had to restrain Kai, preventing him from placing himself into a prison world. Because that would be a temporary solution to an ongoing problem. The Merge had to happen for the sake of the coven. A new leader had to be chosen.

Kai didn't even have the energy to fight. Not when Abigail and Thomas looked at him with determination and reassurance. How could he have brought them into this world? For the first time in his life, he had regrets about Bonnie and having their family. He wished he could go back and stay in that prison world.

That's where he belonged.

The wind picked up all around them - causing the leaves to dance and the lights to flicker. As he looked up to see his children, he saw them cutting their hands and placing them into each other. Abigail and Thomas smiled at one another and began to chant the spell. Kai felt like dying.

"Sanguinem desimilus... Sanguinem generis fiantus."

No! He couldn't let them do this! Not his children, his babies! Kai still had time. He could still stop this! They could still live their lives like how they were supposed to! It wasn't too late!

The twins continued to chant the spell, the world growing more and more dark and turbulent. He could sense the dark ritual taking root and Kai roared in outrage against it. This couldn't be happening! He wouldn't let it!

But something was different. Something was wrong. Or was it...right?

A surge of power manifested, exploding lights and causing trees to splinter from the trunks - destroying everything in the wake of itself. Kai and the others were blown back and off their feet. All except the twins. They were still holding onto one another, chanting the spell. But with the howling wind and destruction, Kai could barely understand anything that was being said.

"Phasmatos Infero Eseri Gratas, Disasustos Vom, Mas Pro Je Ta Sue Te…"

Pain exploded across everyone's bodies, including himself. A scream ripped through the night and all anyone could do was writhe in agony. Kai was freed from those restraining him, but he could barely pull himself up off the ground.

That voice...

"Victamas Veras. Phasmatos Tribum, Niha Sue Exilum, Disasustos Vom, Mas Pro Je Ta Sue Te."

Fire erupted around the witches, scorching everything in its wake. Lightning exploded across the skies and cracks started to split along the ground - running like mad in every direction it could reach to. Everything was hurting and it was taking all Kai had to remain conscious - the feeling of his insides being shredded at the forefront of his mind.

"Levam, Mina Sue Te, Disasustos Vom, Mas Pro Je Ta Sue Te. Phasmatos Veras. Fes Matos Tribum, Mas Pro Tes Unum."

Fighting the pain, Kai looked up to see Bonnie walking through the flames and chaos - her hair flying wildly as her green eyes took on a glow he'd only seen a handful of times. Even through the pain, he couldn't stop the absolute awe that washed over him. The twins stopped chanting as they saw their mother approach.

"Victas Ex Melam, Phasmatos Vanem. Mas Pro Je Ta Sue Te."

Bonnie was terrifying and she was beautiful.

There was a flickering image behind her. Is that…?

But she had crossed the small distance between her and their children. Everyone was swept up in the pain they were feeling that they couldn't stop her. She was in complete control and Kai knew that this must have been the reason that she had disappeared. She had hidden herself away to reclaim old magic…

The black veins of magic were slipping up Abigail and Thomas's necks. The fear was etched on their faces and Bonnie grasped their wrists in her hands. Fire and smoke billowed toward the skies and she pulled her children into her arms.

"Phasmatos Tribum Melan Veras Raddiam Onu Pavadus Ponemus."

"NO!"

Kai screamed, but it was too late. Sparks erupted as all three of their eyes shifted to white and the dark veins slipped up their necks. A funnel of flames and leaves danced around them before the pop of sound burst like a magical bubble and they all three collapsed to the ground, unmoving. Kai thought he saw Sheila out the corner of his eye, but when he turned to look, no one was there.

Scrambling to his feet, he fell to the ground beside his family. He shook them relentlessly in his attempt to wake them. Had they gone through with the ritual after all?

Suddenly, Abigail and Thomas both stirred awake. They groaned in agony while clutching their heads. Kai felt his heart leap into his throat as he pulled them into a hug. But his happiness was short-lived as Bonnie remained on the ground - the life seemingly pulled away from her.

"Mom?" Abigail pulled herself from Kai so she could reach out and touch her mother. Thomas did the same thing, but tried to shake her. No response. "Mom?!"

"Bonnie," Kai whispered, his voice raw from pain, "...what have you done?"