They spend the first part of the ride back in silence. Well, not silence exactly. Ben has cranked up the volume on the admittedly nice stereo and the frantic beats of heavy metal are their accompaniment for at least the first twenty minutes. When Ben turns off the road onto some little dirt road, no, more like a path, she sits up straight and turns to stare at him.

"What are you doing?" she tries to ask, but the music drowns her out.

This is it, Rey. This is the moment he takes you out to a field in the middle of Nowhere, North Carolina, and does away with you. They won't find your body for years. Some developer will find your bones in a shallow grave when they go to make a strip mall out of the place.

She really does watch too many true crime shows. Ben's a cranky bastard at times, but he's really been quite kind to her. Or is that just your hormones talking, Rey?

She tries to ask him again and when she puts her hand on his arm to get his attention he startles, jerking the wheel a little and causing her to let out a little yelp.

He pulls over then and turns the music off. "Why do you look like you're half a second from bolting out of the car?" He sounds genuinely concerned.

She lets out a little laugh. "Nothing. You've just taken me out to the middle of nowhere…"

"Did you think I was going to murder you?"

"What?" She laughs again. "No. Of course not. Why would I think that?"

"Because of those damned stories about my father," he mutters and there's a tightness about his eyes that makes her feel simply awful for even entertaining the thought.

"I watch too many horror movies," she says by way of explanation.

"I see."

"I'm sorry. I didn't really think that. Sometimes my imagination…"

He sighs then and runs one of those incredibly large hands of his through all of that amazing hair and she has to remind herself that as far as he's concerned, no she is not single and she should not jump him.

Maybe she could tell him.

Just come clean.

Beg him to keep up the charade while fucking her in the backseat of his TIE Fighter.

She almost opens her mouth up to do exactly that when he says the words that are guaranteed to make her completely melt and decide that no, he really is not an asshole thank you very much. Words that will make her, for the moment at least, forget about jumping him.

"Look, I thought maybe before we went back you might want to take a look at it. The car, I mean. You're an automotive engineering student, right? Maybe it might…"

At her squeal, he stops talking and his eyes are wide, his mouth half open and she wants to hug him or kiss him or something. But instead, she's throwing open the door and racing to the front of the car before she can even stop herself. Don't look too eager, Rey.

Well, at least she's throwing herself at his car rather than at him. Though at the moment she's not sure which she'd rather do. One, then the other, her traitorous mind tells her. She glances at the backseat of his car for a moment and tries to do the calculations in her head. Ben would probably be way too big to fit back there. But maybe they could make it work.

Ben follows out of the car more slowly and by the time he does, she already has the hood thrown up and is poking around in the engine.

Which is in pristine condition. "There's a supercharger." Her fingers are tracing the edges of it. It doesn't surprise her. She thought the car had a lot more power than a car from the 1970s normally would have. There are tweaks in it everywhere. Secondary air filter, the supercharger that she wasn't even aware was available for such a car, modifications to make the engine lighter. Everything for speed and maneuverability.

"Who did all of this?" She can't help the way the awe creeps up in her voice. She wants to crawl into the engine, see how it all works. She's never seen a TIE up close, much less one of this era. And she never thought she'd see one with such amazing modifications. It's all blended together perfectly, looking as if each modification actually belongs. She's seen some shitty mods during her time working on cars, things slapped onto the engine in a completely haphazard way.

But not this.

This is precise.

Ben comes to stand next to her and she glances up at him to see him looking into the engine with a pensive look on his face.

"Ben?"

He meets her eyes for a moment, but then looks back at the car. "My father, mostly," he admits. "I did some of it, though." His cheeks are tinged red and those generous lips of his are pressed together in a thin line.

"You don't like talking about him, do you?"

"No," comes the flat reply.

"But…" She starts to say but he shoots her a look and she remembers Poe telling her that he never sees his family. His father is gone and there were the rumors. His mother? She knows nothing of her, but it's apparent he isn't close to her family.

And that makes her heart ache.

He has a family. Or had one at least. Her family is a self-made one, patched together from the people she's met over the years. Finn, Poe, her best friend Rose. She's pulled them together to create a family that's not bound by blood, but by love and companionship.

"I'm sorry," she finally says. "Can you…" She doesn't even know what she's going to say. "Where did you find a supercharger to fit one of these?"

"My father," he says again.

"Ben…"

"He always wanted cars to go faster. I don't know where he found it. He showed up with it one day and told me that he was going to make this the best damned car he could give his son." There's a quiet sort of bitterness behind the words. "Dammit, Rey, I don't want to talk about him." He runs one of his hands through his hair again and she realizes that it's something he does when he's uncomfortable.

"You don't have to."

He watches her for a moment. "Thank you," he finally says. "Now, go spend some time cozying up to the engine. It might appreciate a little bit of love."

"You said you did some of it?"

"I lightened the load, replaced a few things here and there to bring the weight down."

"You like fast cars too," she surmises. There's a quiet sort of strength about him, a little bitter, a little sarcastic, but she wonders how much of the father he lost is really in him.

He makes a small huffing noise. "I do," he concedes.

"Me too," she admits.

"Do you now?"

She bites her lip and is surprised to see his eyes shoot down to her lips and back up to her eyes. "I…" She clears her throat, can feel her own cheeks heat. "I do."

"Hmmm," is all he says and he looks back down at the engine. "I suppose I should have expected that. You don't become an automotive engineer by being interested in the latest boring mini-vans."

"Exactly," she says with a grin. She debates for a moment opening up her mouth and asking what she really desperately wants to ask. She can't say it hasn't crossed her mind since she first laid eyes on the sleek TIE, since she first sat down and heard the way the engine purred, the way it felt as it sped up. And then she does it. She just asks. "Can I drive it?"

His eyes shoot back to hers, eyebrows up. "Can you drive stick?"

Her first reaction is to glance down his body. I could drive that stick. She hopes the thought isn't apparent and she looks away from him. He's watching her, far too intently really.

Her second reaction is to roll her eyes at him. "I'm a mechanic, Ben. I'm studying automotive engineering. Remember?"

"That doesn't…"

"God, you sound just like Poe," she mutters.

"He can't drive stick," Ben shoots back with.

"Finn…" she starts to say and then clamps her mouth shut. Finn would beg to differ.

Ben licks his lips and she can't help but follow his tongue as he does so. And then he leans closer to her. "Finn…?" There's a question behind the words and fuck, she could kick herself for that near screw-up. You're not very good at this, Rey.

"Finn can drive stick."

"I'll just bet he can." The words are dryly sarcastic and she wants to laugh. She gets Ben on some level. His sarcasm definitely makes sense, even if his bitter view of the world doesn't gel with hers.

"So can I?"

He blinks and there's a furrow between his eyes. "Can you?"

"Drive your…" stick… "…car?" She cringes at the little pause in her words.

He studies her for a moment, eyes dark and unreadable. And then he reaches into his pocket and pulls out his keys, tossing them to her. She catches them easily and his eyebrows rise. "Ok you passed that test."

"Test?"

"Reflexes."

"Right."

"Come on then. You can get us home. I'll give you the directions."

She rushes at him then. She's not even thinking when she does it, just rushes at him and wraps her arms around him. He's absolutely stiff at first, not moving a muscle as she hugs him. Something tells her Ben Solo isn't much of a hugger. But fuck his body feels nice. Big and strong and when he finally does wrap his arms around her, even for the brief second they're there, she feels good standing there pressed up against him.

Fuck.

Really should not have done that.

"Let's go!" she says and pushes back from him, diving for the driver's side of the car before he can protest.

Ben follows more slowly, and when she glances over at him, he's watching her with a rather indulgent smile on his face. It softens the sharp lines of his face and she finds that she likes it. Maybe a little more than she should, all things considered.

"Slow down!"

"I can't hear you!" Rey shouts back. She's pushing 80. She knows it's way too fast but fuck the car is as amazing as thought it would be. Maybe more so. It handles like nothing she's ever driven, taking turns with a responsiveness she's never experienced before. It can go from zero to 60 in just a couple seconds. She knows because she's pushed it.

"Rey!"

She can barely hear Ben over the screaming heavy metal music she's put on. Well, that he has put on really. It was his music, not usually her kind of thing, but it seems to fit the car. And Ben, really, if she thinks about it. But she's the one who cranked the volume on it, letting it take her faster and faster down the highway.

"Rey!" He reaches over and turns the music off and her ears are still ringing in the silence when he speaks again. "Slow. Down." He means it, she realizes, and she can feel him staring at her, can see his hand white-knuckled on the dashboard.

She's not sure if he's angry. Or scared.

She slows down and gives him a sheepish look. "Sorry?"

As they come back down to a more normal speed, she can see him visibly relax, leaning back against the seat. "Ok, you can handle the car. I've got it."

"I wasn't trying to prove anything."

"No?"

"No. It's just…"

"This is our exit," he interrupts with and she sees the sign for one mile to the exit that will take them back to Poe's parent's house. Back to her fake relationship, back to the charade.

She really doesn't want to go back. She's been having way too much fun and the guilt is starting to eat her alive. She wants to tell Ben the truth, take him to her room and do things with him that make her blush just to think about it.

"I really wasn't trying to prove anything," she says instead. "I just…I don't have a car like this. I'll never have a car like this. Mine's this old beater. It has close to 200 thousand miles on it and I've done my best to keep it going, but it's still just this rusted out old piece of junk that's held together by duct tape and shoe strings." She can't help the sadness that creeps into her voice.

They're making their way slowly through the neighborhoods and she really doesn't want to stop. She just wants to keep driving, really let the engine rip, disappear to someplace. Maybe with Ben.

"I'm sorry," he finally says.

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's just that…well, I guess that's what someone says right? When they feel bad and don't know what else to say?"

He points her down a couple more streets and then they're finally pulling into the driveway. When she turns the car off and hits the parking break, neither of them make a move to get out of the car. "I had a good time today". Maybe it's admitting more than she should.

Ben says nothing and she turns to look at him. There's this look on his face. She can't define it. Half pain, half something else. He shuts his eyes tight for a moment and then opens them, meeting her eyes. "I did too." His voice is soft.

"You're really not the asshole Poe said you were." She doesn't even know why she says it. The words just slip out and she's so afraid she's offended him.

But no, one side of his mouth quirks up and that does funny things to her heart. "Is that what he says about me?"

She shrugs. "He tried to warn me away from you."

"I guess he should have warned me away too. Not that it would have worked." His cheeks color at the words and for the first time, Rey starts to wonder if Ben isn't feeling some of what she is feeling. "You really are too good for Poe, you know." The words are quiet and for a moment, she wonders if she misheard them.

She doesn't have time to contemplate it, time to ask anything, because Ben pushes open the door of the car and is out and stalking toward the door before she can even formulate a response.

"Darling!" comes Poe's voice as she gets out of the car and she cringes. "You guys were gone forever." And there's a spark of something there behind the words. Worry, curiosity, and something she can't quite define.

"You're not easy to shop for," she points out as he pulls her into a hug. Over his shoulder, she sees Ben watching them and she's not sure if she should return the hug, keep up the charade, or push him away. She wants to hug Ben again, feel all those hard muscles pressed up against her. But instead she wraps her arms briefly around Poe and then pulls back.

"I can't be that hard, peach."

She rolls her eyes and leans close to him. "Poe, we need to talk."

"Uh oh," he says, a bit of mischief in his eyes. "The words no man wants to hear from his girlfriend."

She punches him lightly on the arm. "I'm serious. You and Finn. Now. We need to talk."

Poe watches her for a moment and then bows slightly, holding out one hand to direct her back to the house. "After you then, my dear."

She rushes into the house, dropping the keys in Ben's outstretched hand as she walks by. Their eyes meet as they do and then his eyes flit to Poe and she watches the whole expression on his face tighten and close up.

She really really cannot keep doing this.