I do not own Blazblue.
Official first entry for the fic based around the end of the world. Please keep in mind this borders between humor and dark humor, so don't get offended. Bang x Bullet ahead.
It all started when the sirens began to wail.
There was no time for preparation, and no time to rationalize it. The kicking of dust and the trembling of the Earth was all she really needed to find refuge and for the whole world to go into mass panic. Looters raided stores, killers stole lives, and survivors shook in fear, but she has prepared herself far too long to be shaken by the collapse of society. She evaded the violence on the streets, ducked from falling debris and fought her way through the crowds of screaming bystanders until she had finally arrived at the block of her house, exhausted and covered from head to toe in scratches and bruises.
She slowed down only a tad once she rounded the corner of her house so she could catch her breath, ignoring the sweat dripping from her body and soaking through her shirt as she slowly started to take in the situation in full. She panted heavily as she peered up at the sky, azure blue already fading to a filthy orange as toxic smoke and soot polluted the air and poisoned the atmosphere. It wouldn't take long until the whole world was covered from head to toe in sickened ash, and she wasn't going to be one of the poor bastards to see it. Not yet anyway.
The young soldier growled determinedly as she hopped over the gate leading to the back of her house and bolted towards the iron cellar doors obscured by the contents of her yard. She kneeled down and frantically wiped the grass and dirt away from the bolted doors before finally uncovering a dirtied pin-pad. She guided her finger to the first numbered button she saw and quickly punched in the code to unlock the shelter, her hand moments away from grabbing the steel handle to let herself in until a harrowing thought came to mind that stopped her immediately.
There were people she knew who would without a doubt get trapped in this madness. People she loved, people she bonded with who she wished the best of luck to with all her heart, but there was still one person she could save, who she needed to save. She had more than enough supplies and rations for up to five people to live off of for years for this very purpose. There was no reason she couldn't fetch him.
She had to try for both of their sakes.
Standing back on her feet, the young woman kicked the dirt back over the doors before bolting to the streets again, her eyes narrowed and lips set in a firm line as she leaped over deserted cars and wrestled her way once more through dazed civilians. Her only hope was that he didn't get himself killed by now considering his policy of peace before war when things got hairy. That dolt knew how to get himself in trouble without even doing anything it seemed.
She raced downtown in what felt like seconds and ignored the perilous destruction that the war had already done to the city. Sidewalks and paved streets were smashed and cracked open, buildings were lit ablaze and crumbling to the ground while cars sped and fled, mowing down panicked civilians and crashing into clumps of debris in their haste. The sight of it all did little to terrify her for it only prepared her further for what the future was to become in no less than a few days. This was reality now, and there was no one who can stop it.
If anything, she was getting more angry at the hordes of people bumping into her and stepping on her feet as they tried to escape then any sort of apocalypse. She was more than rational enough not to bite anyone's heads off for even thinking to run into her unprovoked, but it was certainly more than a little irksome to deal with sore feet just so she could fetch the one guy.
Until the one unruly criminal decided it would be a good idea to take advantage of the crowded area by grabbing her ass and holding a knife to her throat.
That was when she got pissed.
"Goddammit, I am NOT in the mood for this shit right now!"
Without even thinking, the young officer reared her leg back and smashed her knee deep into the thug's gut as hard as she could, watching the petty assaulter crumple to the ground in a quivering heap before finally allowing herself to go on her way to the location of her friend's job.
The sooner she got to him, the sooner her mood would elevate, and fuck was she ten seconds away from mauling the first person who even dared to look at her funny right now.
"Bang, you better be alive, or so help me...!"
"BULLET!"
Bullet stopped dead in her tracks and spun around once she heard that loud, boastful voice she knew all too well shout her name and saw the man that came along with. There he was running frantically at her, his hair free from its tie and clad in nothing but black hakama that was slowly turning into a dark grey thanks to all the dirt on the ground, looking as if he was about to burst out crying just from having to deal with being outside for more than five minutes. He ran at her with both his arms stretched out towards her until he was close enough to bring her into a bone crushing hug that did little to help her sore body but made her heart flutter a little at the affection.
"Oh, Bullet, I prayed and prayed with all my might you didn't pass on into the great aether!" He shouted as he rubbed a stubbled cheek into her messy hair. "But I'm here to keep you safe now!"
Her face mashed directly into his sweaty pecs, she could do no more than utter a muffled greeting. "Nice to see you, too, Bang..." She groaned out as she brought her hands to his biceps to signal for him to let go. "But suffocating me isn't exactly keeping me safe..."
"Ah!" Bang let go of the younger girl and rubbed his head as he gave her a relieved smile. "My apologies, but I was just so glad to see a familiar face!"
"Where did you run off to? I was just about to kill myself barging into your dojo to find you!" It was the first place Bullet would look since Bang was an instructor there, but thank God she didn't go too far and put her life in even more danger.
"I—I was there, but I left for lunch once my lessons were over. When I came back, the dojo was already up in flames!" He cried out. "Oh Lord, Bullet, what are we gonna do!? How are we going to survive, what if we die right he—Ow!"
She slapped him and shook his shoulders. "We're gonna survive by not dying!" She shouted. "It's the end of the world and all, but there's no rule that says we have to die as soon as shit hits the fan!"
"B-But—"
She slapped him again.
"Ouch!"
"No buts! I have a way out of this, but I need you to stay calm!"
"But it's hard to stay calm when the world is fall—"
She showed him the back of her hand and gave him a pensive glare.
Bang didn't want to take his chances. "Okay, okay, what's the plan!?"
"I have a bunker with enough supplies to last us for years. We need to run as fast as we can before anyone gets to it, and I mean fast, do you hear me?"
Bang mulled over her words and nodded stiffly. "Yes, I understand—hold on, you have a bunker? When did you get a bunk—?"
Bullet slapped him once more.
"What did I do that time!?"
"Never mind why I have one, that's why!" She yelled and grabbed his wrist. "C'mon, we gotta go!"
"R-Right...!" Bang rubbed his stinging cheek with his free hand and followed after Bullet.
The pair ran down the sidewalk as fast their feet could carry them, their combined agility and stamina helping them avoid the chaos surrounding them and allowing for them to punch (for Bullet's case) their way through the crowds that kept them away from their retreat until they finally arrived at the side of Bullet's house. They staggered over the gate of her backyard and stumbled across the grass until they stood over the bunker's doors, Bang already slumped over and grabbing his knees as he took large gulps of air to catch his breath.
"This is it...?" He groaned out.
"Yeah." Bullet grunted as she grabbed both steel handles and pried the doors open in one strong pull, revealing to both of them a dark, metallic rectangular-shaped hole and a ladder that led down to its depths. "You go first. I gotta lock up on the way down."
"Yes, ma'am..." Bang trudged past Bullet and climbed down, making sure to take his time while also keeping an eye on her.
"Be careful up there!" He called out.
"Easier said than done!" She said back when the sound of a whistling bomb in the distance forced her to hurry up and climb down as well. She shimmied her way inside but not before taking hold of the second set of handles located on the insides of the doors and pulling them shut.
It was now pitch black and cold compared to the heated destruction happening outside, which made her feel a lot safer now that they were tucked down here for the time being.
"Man, I can't see a thing..." She climbed further down the latter but stopped when she felt Bang's face collide with her backside. "You're not down yet, Bang?"
"Mm...!" He quickly moved his face away from her behind and blushed furiously. "N-No, not yet..."
"Why was your face in my butt?" She asked.
"I-It's so dark I wanted to take my time is all!" He replied. "I didn't think you would come down so fast... I'm sorry..."
"Why get so flustered? It's just a butt."
"I-It is not just a butt!"
"Then what else is it then?"
"Well, It's...It's your butt!" He didn't know how else to word that Bullet had a very impressive sized and shapely backside without confusing her considering how dense she is.
"What's wrong with my butt?"
"N-Nothing's wrong with your butt!"
"..."
"Bullet?"
"Are you saying I have a big butt, Bang?"
"That is not what I said!"
"Then what else are you trying to say?"
"I'm not trying to say anyth—" It was at that moment that Bang, in all his embarrassed glory, missed a step on the ladder and went tumbling down to the floor.
"AHHH!"
Bullet cringed when she heard him land with a loud splat. She sighed and placed both of her hands and feet on the sides of the ladder to slide down and get to him faster. The last thing she wanted was for him to crack his head open and leak brain juice everywhere.
"Are you okay, Bang?" She asked once she hit the ground.
"I'm fine..." He grunted a little as he sat up to rub his head. "Now just aching a little."
"You'll walk it off then." She maneuvered herself to an adjacent wall and moved her hands along the surface for a light switch until her fingers brushed over one just below her chest. She wasted no time flipping it, and after a couple moments the light fixtures above flickered gently until a bright light illuminated the room and finally allowed both persons to see.
The bunker was a lot bigger than what Bang expected it to be and what Bullet remembered it being.
Shelves upon shelves of food and beverage lined the walls from top to bottom, a queen-sized bed was situated against a corner, and in the middle was a TV, a shelf full of tapes and a small sofa.
"Wow..." Bang got up from his spot on the floor and surveyed the room as he massaged his tailbone. If everything wasn't so enclosed and metallic, the shelter in of itself looked like any old living room minus a few anomalies like hanging gas masks and radiation suits.
It was safe to say Bullet was a little more than prepared for the apocalypse.
"At the risk of receiving yet another slap," Bang joked as he steadily approached Bullet. "But how did you acquire the necessary funds to get a bunker this big?"
"Saved up." Bullet wiped the sweat off her brow and wandered to the middle of the room to sit down on the sofa. "When I moved here after being discharged from the army, I was a little paranoid, so I got a shovel and went straight to work. Only took a year or so to build."
"A year? That's very impressive if you built it in under a year! How did you do it?"
"Mexicans." She stated bluntly.
Bang laughed awkwardly at that. "Is that...right?"
"I couldn't do all the work, so I paid a bunch of 'em to measure out the hole I dug up and everything. They'll pretty much let you spit in their mouths if you got the dough for it."
"Bullet!" Bang admonished loudly. "How could you say something so brash!?"
"What, it's true isn't it!?" Bullet shouted back. "Why do you think they're wetbacks? They don't have the money to buy boats, so how else do they get here?"
Bang smacked a hand over his face and shook his head. "I swear, I fail to see where you get that mindset of your's from..."
"I do know something though."
"What's that?" He asked
"I could reaaally go for some Taco Bell now." She rubbed her stomach and sunk further into the couch.
"Don't you think it is a tad late for that?"
"Oh yeah, it is most likely vaporized by now." She turned around in her seat to reach for a box of what looked like cookies on the shelf behind her. "So we'll just have to eat whatever is in here."
"Seems like a sound idea." Bang felt his stomach grumble as well. It's been awhile since he's eaten anything and with the massive panic he had experience earlier, he had almost forgotten how hungry he was. "What do you have to eat down here, if you do not mind me asking?"
"Lot's of stuff." She roughly tore open the box and stuck her hand inside. "Animal crackers, fruit roll-ups, Twinkies, Sno Balls, coffee cakes, donuts, all of the essentials."
"...What?"
"You heard me." She pulled out a sandwich cookie and stared at Bang as if he had grown two heads. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"You only brought junk food down here!?"
"Hey, hey, it ain't junk if it tastes good!" She reached for a pastry cake from the shelf behind her without even looking and tossed it at him so he could catch it. "Put that in your mouth and tell me that isn't feel good food."
Bang caught it one hand and anxiously stared at the fattening snack cake before setting his sights back on Bullet again. "We don't need feel good food, Bullet! We need actual nutrient rich good food! We cannot just...just...!"
She turned up her lip and crossed her arms. "Just what, Bang?" She bit back.
He threw his arms at his sides as if thinking of what to say. "We can't just...just...survive on Hostess fruit pies for however long we need to stay down here!"
"You'd be surprised how convenient they are in the field..."
"Bullet!"
"What!?"
"I thought you of all people would keep military rations or ready-to-eat food stored down here!"
"They taste like shit, Bang!" She retorted. "Do you like the taste of cardboard? Do you wanna be shitting bricks for a week? I don't think so!"
"It is all the same if we eat junk!"
"I said it's not junk!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!"
"Is too!"
"Is not!
"Is TOO!"
"Is fuckin' NOT, and I'll prove it!" Bullet took a huge bite out of the treat in her hand but felt her lips pucker and her eyes bulge out of her head when she tasted the sour vanilla creme between the two weirdly soft chocolate cookies.
She immediately spat it out. "Ugh, gross!"
"What's the matter?" Bang inquired.
"These cookies tastes like old milk!" She grimaced and brought the box over her head to look for the expiration date. "Oh, no wonder. These expired about a year ago."
"A year ago?"
"Yeah. Ol' gnarly box of shit cookies. I'll just get another one."
Bang watched her reach for another snack which was a canister of potato crisps. She took off the plastic lid and pulled the paper seal back to fetch a chip but not before glancing at the black text printed on the inside of the lid.
"Aw man! Says here the pringles expired, too!"
Bang was getting gradually suspicious. "Pringles...?"
"Oh well. They're salt and vinegar anyway. I didn't even notice. Well, might as well get—"
"Wait, Bullet..."
She turned to look at him. "What is it?"
"When was the last time you brought food down here?"
Bullet pondered for a moment until she gave an answer. "About a year ago, wh—Ohhhh..."
The older man's eyes went wide as the gravity of their situation began to weigh on him. Here they both were, trapped in a bunker with expired food and beverage with little to no access to the outside world at the moment.
Bang wanted to scream.
He wanted to tear his hair out.
He wanted to panic.
"Bullet."
For the first time ever he saw a small glimmer of anxiety in her eye as soon as he called her name.
"Yeah, Bang...?"
"Can you please answer me this."
"What is it...?"
"Why did it not occur to you to go get...groceries for this place this year instead of the year before!?"
"Because I thought I would eat it all before the thought of an apocalypse even came to mind!"
"HOW DO YOU EAT EIGHTY POUNDS OF SNACK CAKES IN ONE YEAR!?
"I GET HUNGRY!"
"HOW MUCH SUGAR DO YOU EVEN NEED!?
"A LOT APPARENTLY!"
"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!?"
Bullet jumped from her spot on the couch and fervently began to look through the shelf behind her.
"Look for all the Twinkies and Ho-Hos you can find!"
Bang gave her a skeptical look. "What...?"
"If there's one thing I learned in the army is that nearly all Hostess brand snacks CAN'T go bad!"
"What!?"
"Don't fucking question me now, just do it! It's like a proven fact or some shit!"
"WHAT!?"
"Say "what" again! I dare you, I double dare you, motherfucker! Say what one more goddamn time, and I'm throwing you outside with the nukes, do I make myself clear!?" Bullet screamed at the top of her lungs as she stuffed cake after sugary cake under her arms.
Bang set his lips in a firm line when the urge to say "what" nearly came to mind and merely nodded.
"Then stop standing there! There's more in the back, so start there!"
"Y-Yes, ma'am!" Bang hurried himself to the back of the bunker and quickly went to work. For what felt like hours and hours of tripping over bottles of orange soda, stomping on boxes of donuts and cookies, and smashing literal bins of potato chips, both Bang and Bullet were able to gather all of the Hostess snacks in a few messy piles that covered both the sofa and the coffee table that stood in front of it.
Bang sat precariously on the arm of the couch as he tried to catch his breath while Bullet made an organized count of all the sweets they currently had at hand by writing down the quantity of each individual product on a small sheet of paper. It took a fairly long time since Bullet seemed to have a particular appreciation for all snacks Hostess seemed to offer, but she was eventually able to write as much as she could down before announcing the rations to Bang.
"Alright," Bullet began as she pointed at the first mound of junk and each mound that followed. "We have thirty packs of Twinkies, fifteen packs of CupCakes, ten packs of Ho-Hos, nineteen packs of Chocodiles, eight packs of Ding Dongs, five packs of Sno Balls and finally..." She glanced at the sheet in her hand briefly before saying anything. "One Zinger."
The martial artist felt his stomach churn once she finished and asked, "And how long do you think this will last us?"
"Well, if we take the five water jugs in the back for consideration, I'd say... Maybe about three weeks?"
"...Longer than I had hoped at least."
"Don't act like that. For all we know, we could last longer than a month."
"It's what I'll certainly be praying for..." Bang felt a catch in his throat and began to wail dramatically. "What if we're done for, Bullet...!?"
"Ah, Bang, don't say that." She crossed over to him to sit next to him on the couch. It was always so hard to console him when he got emotional. It was enough to make her own heart wrench, but considering how comically excessive his blubbering got, it wavered between being both sad and kind of funny sometimes. "I thought you were suppose to protect me?"
He let out a hiccup and nodded once. "I was..."
"I don't think crying over a few Twinkies is my definition of protection, don't you think?"
Bang considered it for a moment before wiping the tears from his shimmering eyes. "Yes, yes, I was suppose to..." He then clenched his fists and regarded the cakes on the floor. Bullet was his best friend, if not his only friend who he would pretty much do anything for, especially since she was a girl. He always made it his duty to make sure she was taken care of, and here he was groveling like a small child who had his toy taken away. Sure she wasn't the most...sensible in the eye of danger sometimes, but she was always so determined to survive in even the most bleakest situations. He supposed that her time in the army and being raised around soldiers certainly helped her be almost impervious to the thought of death.
It was then that the spry and boastful martial artist leaped from the couch and took Bullet along with him by lifting her into his arms, the young soldier taken by surprise at the sudden gesture but relaxed once she saw that big smile on his face she was so use to.
"You know, you are completely right, Bullet!"
"That my food isn't junk?"
"Aside from that!" He laughed. "We can survive if we put our minds to it! We just happen to be lacking a few handicaps is all!"
"We're on super hard mode!"
"We're invincible!"
"We kick ass!"
"We can do it!" Bang held her tighter at that and inadvertently mushed her face into his rock hard chest again when he did so.
"Can't breathe again, Bang..." She informed him.
"Oh my apologies again, Bullet!" That same bright smile never left his face as he quickly sat Bullet down on her feet. "What say we have dinner now and rest up for tomorrow!"
"If tomorrow ever comes!" Bullet guffawed.
Both friends bellowed in laughter as they picked up a snack and hastily ate away at their evening meal. The rest of the night continued in merry jeers and chuckles, their laughs only growing louder and louder whenever a bomb from the outside collided with the ground and shook the bunker asunder since they now enjoyed laughing in the face of danger a lot more instead of fearing it.
All was well for the two companions throughout their time in the impervious shelter as they passed each day in hysterics and mirthful grins. Not a night went by where they didn't stay close together in the same bed, eat at the same time, or even use the bathroom together for their time in the bunker was meant to be a lively and joyful experience and strengthen their unending relationship.
Nothing could possibly go wrong!
It has been five weeks since the first atomic bombs of the century were dropped across the world, and a majority of humanity, its culture, and its history is already destroyed.
Half of the Earth's population lays in ruin while the other half still remains either hidden away in overcrowded, disease and famine ridden nuclear shelters or continue to roam the land, exploring the now irradiated, infertile soil for scraps of food and other basic necessities to make living more bearable. Life could not be any more difficult for the men, women, and children that have somehow managed to survive the brutal apocalypse that mankind has brought upon itself, if one could even call this new reality life.
In one of the few bunkers that were still somehow functional laid Bullet and Bang, their bodies flat on the floor and faces planted in the carpet of the metal room that they were currently trapped in. Both friends were still alive and well, though barely, and groaned in unison when their stomachs decided to growl once more for food. Their Hostess supply had dwindled to nothing not even a week ago, and already they were feeling the effects of starvation despite living solely on water for the past six days. It was painful, it was sheer unending agony, but at least they could say one thing.
They survived longer than three weeks.
Bullet weakly rolled onto her side to face Bang and brought a hand to his shoulder to jostle him a little.
"Bang..."
No response.
"Bang..."
Still nothing.
"Baaaang—"
"Wha...?"
"Oh good, you're not dead..."
Bang assumed the same position Bullet was in and coughed. "I ensured myself to stay alive as long as you needed me, too..."
"And so did I..." She sighed a solemn sigh. "But I don't think we have much time left..."
"What do you mean?"
"Don't you get it, Bang...?" Bullet groaned. "Once we divided the last Zinger, you should have known that our days were getting shorter.
"Ugh...! But I shall not allow it!"
"Huh...?"
"I promised that I would protect you." He mustered up a weak smile. "And if neither of us cannot survive...then at least one of us should."
Bullet raised a brow. "What are you getting at, Bang?"
"I shall bravely sacrifice myself to you if it means your survival... So please..." He stiffly lifted his arm and presented it to her. "Eat as much as you want, Bullet."
"Bang... I...I can't..."
"Please. My death would be in vain if you were not the one to stay alive out of the both of us."
Bullet was at a lost for words. Never has she ever seen Bang act so selfless before. He's always been so kind and gracious, but this was unbelievably charitable.
The young soldier felt tears come to her eyes.
"Shit, Bang, you're serious..."
"Only for you..."
Bullet wet her dry lips as she scooted just a little closer to Bang and took his hand into her's before nibbling gently on a finger.
"I'll make sure to savor every last bite just for you!"
Bang seemed a little frazzled at how quick she was to eat him and instantly pulled his hand away.
"Y-You didn't even hesitate!?"
"Well, you offered!"
"B-Bullet!"
"If you didn't want me to eat you, why did you give me your arm then!?"
"I...I just thought you would consider it is all!"
"I. Am. Hungry. How could I not pass it up?"
"..."
"So, what, we're gonna starve again?"
Bang rolled fully on his back and rubbed his face with one hand. He was close to offering himself again just to be a little courteous until he saw the two yellow hazmat suits from earlier still hanging off of the ceiling which instantly gave him an idea.
"What if we go out onto the surface?" He asked suddenly.
"The surface? And get killed?"
"Of course not," Bang rose from his spot and pointed at the two plastic suits above them. "Do you not have these for that very purpose?"
"Oh...Oh! Oh shit, yeah, that's right, I did have those! Jeez, how did I forget...?"
"Perhaps we can find some food on the surface if we do!"
"Yeah, good idea!"
"Then let's say we suit up and start our hunt!"
"Ditto!"
And with that, the duo slowly got up from the floor and prepared to brave for the outside. They took the radiation suits down from their hangers and quickly put them on, ensuring every hole was sealed and every gap was pinched shut before placing the matching gas masks over their heads.
Bullet thought the look was funny.
"Heh, we look like aliens." She sniggered, the rounded respirator over her mouth making her voice sound strained.
"Very otherworldly..." Bang added as he looked at his arm and the black nylon glove that covered it. "Do you think we need any weapons?"
"Maybe a few." Bullet replied. "Here, I can find some." She waddled over to the back of the room and opened a hidden drawer. She rummaged through it for a bit and gathered a large amount of steel items and some duct tape in her arms before standing back up and bringing them back over to Bang.
"Pots, pans, and two ladles...?" He asked.
"Pots and pans for armor, ladles for weapons." She stated.
"Do we not have any other more useful weapons?"
I have a gun, but like hell you know how to use one, so I'm keeping it for now."
"F-Fair enough."
"Good. Now let's hurry up and tape this all up before I pass out again."
"Right..." Bang took the duct tape from Bullet's hands and did as he was told. He taped a pot with a handle over her head and two pans on both her back and stomach before handing the roll of tape back to let her do the same to him. The process of it all was short and effective, but in the end they looked less like creepy aliens and more like children on Halloween night with homemade costumes.
"Woah..." Bullet looked down at herself and then at Bang. "We look so badass..." She said in awe.
"If you can call it that..." He sighed and walked over to the ladder that led to the outside. He could only hope that there was no one alive to see the embarrassments of radioactive suits they were wearing.
"I want you to stay behind me." He told Bullet as they began climbing their way up. "Lord only knows what lurks on the surface."
"What do you think is out there?"
"I can't be too sure." He honestly didn't want to know, but the curiosity was steadily eating away at him the more he thought about it.
"With there being nukes and all involved in this...you would think it would've mutated a lot of things by now, right?"
"More likely than not."
"...Ninja Turtles." She blurted out
Bang sputtered at the suggestion.
"Ninja Turtles?"
"It's been over a month, there has to be a few running around up there by now."
"Very unlikely, Bullet..."
"Be cool though..." He could practically hear her pouting.
"Let us just focus on getting some supplies and then we can worry about whether or not they exist..."
"Whatever."
Bang looked up at the double doors that he had not even dared to face since he first came down here and sucked in a deep breath. This was it, he thought. No turning back now.
"Here we are." He said softly. "Are you ready, Bullet?"
"More than I'll ever be."
"Alright..." Bang turned the knob under the handle slowly, feeling a chill running down his spine once he heard the lock click and carefully pushed the doors open to climb out into the unknown. Almost immediately after was when he felt bone chilling winds batter his body and dust swirl in the air that obscured his vision. He squinted his eyes and continued climbing outside, making sure to stay alert before crawling out onto the dusty ground and standing up to survey the land.
What used to be Bullet's house was noe just a pile of burnt wood and broken cement while the streets up ahead were cracked, brittle and looked about ready to collapse on itself any minute.
A depressing scene was all he could say about.
"Aw man, is that my house?" Bullet suddenly whined from behind once she made it out as well.
"I am afraid so..." Bang shared in her disappointment.
"I guess it doesn't matter now, but still..." She frowned and looked around a bit. "Damn..."
"Let us look for as much as possible..."
"On it."
They cautiously walked away from the door of the bunker and kept close as they began to explore. Nothing looked even a little like the quiet little neighborhood that use to stand quietly at the edge of town. Now it looked like a desolate wasteland of what used to be modern living. With how bare and silent everything was, it only seemed fair to think that they were the only humans in this part of the state at this point.
That was until they heard a very high pitched scream take them from their thoughts.
"Someone help me! Please!" It yelled.
Bang jumped in place and held his ladle out defensively while Bullet did the same, more than prepared for what horrors waited for the both of them in the thick cloud of soot. The voice grew louder and louder as if the person it belonged to was coming closer and closer to them until suddenly a feminine figure appeared in the fog, charging at them as if running away from something.
Bang hadn't any time to react when that same figure collided with him by wrapping its skinny arms around him.
"Oh please, please, please!" The figure pleaded. "I've been out here for days on end looking for food and something out there was trying to kill me!"
"E-Easy there, madame. Please, calm down!" Bang tried to ease the hysterical girl as gently and as softly as he could but had little time to do so when Bullet took it upon herself to pluck her off of him herself by grabbing her by the neck of her shirt and settling her a good few inches away from him. She didn't like the way she was hugging on him at all, but she couldn't explain why it did. Other girls climbing all over Bang made her skin crawl.
"Back off," Was all the soldier said. "Before you go askin' for help, wanna explain to us who you are?"
The girl had long, messy blonde hair, green doe eyes, and was clad only in an oversized t-shirt and shorts. She was small, meek and looked as though she was younger than either her or Bang.
"Um...I...!" The girl shuddered a little under Bullet's icy stare and tried to explain herself. "M-My name is Noel. N-Noel Vermillion... I was separated from my family and I've been looking for them for awhile now. For four days I've been out here searching for food, b-but when I was trying to find somewhere to sleep I saw this...this hulking monster trying to chase after me! I didn't know what to do so I ran away from it as fast as I could!"
"Monsters?" The older man questioned.
"Ha, I told you there were Ninja Turtles!" Bullet said matter-of-factly.
"Now is not the time for that Bullet!"
Noel continued her story. "So...I was just wondering if...if either of you have a place I can stay for at least the night..."
"Why of course we do, Lady Noel!" Bang stated proudly. "We have a very roomy bunker where housing five people isn't even a probl—ACK!"
Bullet hooked her arm around Bang's neck and dragged him a few feet away from Noel. "Sorry, but I would like a quick word with your "savior" for a moment." She growled.
Noel awkwardly stood where she was, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt nervously and watched Bullet let go of Bang and proceed to smack the back of his head once they were a good distance away from the teenager.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" She whispered.
Bang rubbed his adam's apple and gave a hasty reply. "Being a good sumaritan, that's what. What is the matter with that?"
"Have you forgotten that we don't have any food? I can't house three people with our rations!"
"Then what else are we supposed to do, leave her to die!?"
"YES!"
"How could you ever say such a thing!?"
"It's kill or be killed out here, Bang, and I refuse to be the latter!"
"Then what do I tell her?"
"To buzz off that's wha—"
A rotten, no good, nasty idea came to Bullet's mind when she looked back at Noel.
"Now what's the matter?" Bang frowned.
"We could eat her." Bullet declared.
Bang's jaw nearly dropped at that one. "Are...are...you are not...being serious, are you...?"
"You heard her say it herself! There are apparently ravenous Ninja Turtles out there eating whatever humans are left! The hell is a gun and a few ladles going to do to stop that when we try to look for some food?"
"But...she looks so sad and lonely!"
"Looks mighty tasty to me."
Bang placed his hands on the back of his head and grumbled. "I don't think I can, Bullet..."
"She said it herself, she doesn't have a family anymore. Who's gonna miss her?"
"That is an awful thing to say—! Ugh..." The older man felt his stomach grumble painfully and scowled when he felt that same pain shoot up his spine.
"What's the matter?" Asked Bullet.
"Hungry... But I will not...! Mm...!" Bang crumpled to the ground and held his stomach. Nearly a full week without food was really getting to the poor man and Bullet's proposal was starting to sound less and less deplorable the more the urge to eat began to overwhelm him. He should just offer himself up to either of them so he would not have to deal with the choice but he and Bullet knew that he was way too chicken to do it.
"Um, are...are you okay?" Noel called out once she saw Bang's state.
The martial artist hissed in pain and glanced up at Bullet with blurry, vacant eyes. If he didn't get any food in his stomach soon he will without a doubt die from exhaustion alone. It was such a crime against his own moral code and ethics, but...Bullet was so, so right.
Noel was looking mighty tasty...
"Bullet..." Bang muttered under his breath.
"Yeah?"
He could only hope that God, the angels and Heaven itself forgive him for what he was about to say.
"Bring her...inside..."
"I already told you it's a bad..." Bullet saw the carnal, predatory glint that began to shine in his eye and instantly knew what he was getting at.
There was only one way.
"Alright, Noel," Bullet shouted her way. "You can come in with us!"
The young girl beamed at the two and jumped up and down. "Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" She said cheerfully. "I thought I was a goner for sure!"
"Just help me take my friend down and we'll get you settled inside..." Bullet said as she kneeled down to take Bang's arm over her shoulder.
Noel giddily ran to Bang's other side and took his other arm before all three sauntered their way over to the bunker. Bang was the first to go down, then Noel, and finally Bullet who closed and locked the cellar doors tight so that no chance of escape was made.
All that followed soon after, behind those closed bunker doors and steel walls, was a scream and a series of gunshots.
I had too much fun writing this honestly.