Firebug wheezed and spluttered on the floor of the Junkers' current hideout. He always had the breath knocked out of him after apparating. An unfortunate side effect to say the least. The duffel bag, explosives and Harry's fellow mischief makers were also sprawled on the hardwood floor. However, a notable difference between the boy and his carers was that he remained conscious while they did not.
Harry began the difficult task of hauling the heavy bag up the stairs, so it could be placed with the rest of the stash that the Junkers had been slowly accumulating over the last few months. They had ransacked buildings ranging from grand mansions to corner shops they had encountered during their crime spree. Looking at the wealth made Firebug's heart swell with pride and accomplishment. The giddy grin remained plastered to his face as he skipped down the stairs back to his... parents, if you will.
The two Junkers were still passed out on the floor. However- Roadhog's snoring did inspire the idea of him having woke at some point. Jamie twitched in his sleep, probably recalling his childhood. It was during this moment of tranquility that a spotted owl barreled through the open window, bashing it's head against the wall. It startled Junkrat and Roadhog awake- and began to squawk loudly, to the ire of all parties involved.
The owl eventually calmed down, relieving everyone, especially Roadhog, who feared that Jamie would attempt to silence the bird with lethal force. Animals were not as cruel as human beings- they did not deserve to die before their time. The avian monstrosity began to gesture at a letter which had been attached to it's talon.
"Well, that's one fancy way to deliver an arrest letter!" Junkrat exclaimed, diving at the poor animal and clawing for the letter.
"Jamie- that's not how it works." Roadhog appeared exasperated with the younger man's antics, as usual. "Now, hand it over."
The shorter of the duo groaned and complied, practically firing the letter at Mako, who then handed the letter to Harry without any explanation.
"Harry Potter, The Room With The Broken Window, 32 Orange Avenue, Queensland." Harry read aloud, flicking the corners of the letter with his fingers.
His attention soon shifted to the wax seal on the back of the letter- which he discarded quickly by firing it in Junkrat's general direction.
"Who the fuck is 'Albus Dumbledore'?" Harry droned absentmindedly while skimming through the letter, "Some genius has sent me an invitation to the special school."
"Language!" yelled the two older junkers in unison.
"Sorry... Anyway, the letter is requesting my attendance to a school in Scotland, which is already far-fetched enough considering the circumstances," Harry paused to squint at a particularly suspect line towards the end of the last page. "But then it gets even more curious- it's claiming to be a wizard school."
"Bullshit!" Jamie called from the corner of the room, where he was carefully wiring an explosive device.
"That was my initial reaction too- but look here- whoever wrote the letter knows that my room is the only one with a shattered window-" Firebug shifted his gaze around the small box room. "-so, that means that we either have a stalker, the next door neighbour is trying to get us to move to Scotland, or this is legit."
Junkrat's excited grin and Roadhog's seemingly emotionless stare were expected- the scowl of the
cloaked man at the door was not.
"Harry Potter," the unknown figure drawled, twirling what appeared to be a decorative stick in his left hand, "I'm here to talk to you and your... guardians... about Hogwarts, and your education in general."
"Wha-" Firebug was silenced by a venomous glare.
"Dumbledore, the headmaster, was concerned... to say the least when he saw that your Hogwarts letter referenced your room having a broken window." The pseudo-vampire paused to push his fingers to his brow, "We accessed your documents via the Ministry of Magic, and discovered that you have no documentation past age four."
An expression of horror slowly crept onto Harry's face as the implications of the man's words dawned on him. What if Jamie and Mako went to jail?
Snape didn't really know what he'd expected of the Boy-Who-Lived's dwellings. A castle, perhaps?
All that greeted his beady eyes was a battered two story house, which scorch marks scattered throughout the garden and on the walls. The door hung off of it's frame, and one of the second story windows had a spiderweb crack on its top-right pane. Well, it is Australia, after all. Severus could hear panicked screeching and a man chanting "Owl! Owl! Get it out Mako!" coming from the inside of the house.
He sighed and pressed his hand to his forehead. The inhabitants sounded like they ranked below average on the Intelligence Quotient, that's for sure.
Once the Half-Blood Prince entered the boxy front room, the Great Owl Brawl of 1991 had ended. The greasy-haired wizard felt cheated. That would've been a good story for the staff room, did he ever decide to engage in their nattering.
"-so, that means that we either have a stalker, the next door neighbour is trying to get us to move to Scotland, or this is legit." A short, skinny boy with a mop of unruly black hair stated, his nose buried in the letter he'd somehow wrestled from the owl.
Severus began his usual spiel on Hogwarts and the like, making a few edits here and there to account for the situation. He scanned over his small audience. An obese man with tattoos, a seemingly rabid or psychotic twig of a man, and... Potter.
The bird's nest of black hair obviously brought back memories of an unsavory kind- but otherwise, the boy didn't resemble his detestable father all that much, which was a relief, to say the least. He had Lily's eyes- but nothing else could really be discerned due to the thick layer of dust and soot which was everywhere except for two large round circles around his eyes, probably left unscathed thanks to goggles of some sort.
Snape pressed his hand to his brow and sighed.
"I promise not to report you to the police, please close your mouth, you look like a fish."
The trio seemed to brighten at that.
"Ok, so I get to see what it's like inside a pub?"
"Yes Potter. I'm afraid your companions can't come inside, however."
Harry didn't care. He'd see them again- he always did. On multiple occasions, they'd get split up, and would each have to fend for themselves for a while. This usually lasted a few months, and they'd run into each other again a week or two later.
Snape raised an eyebrow. "I expected more melodrama from you, Potter. Nevermind that- you have to get your school supplies, and to do that you need to go to Gringotts."
The trip to Gringotts passed with no major event, and the rest of the shopping trip was the same. Harry was a tad stingy with his Galleons- which annoyed the shopkeepers- but otherwise, all was well.
Until they entered the wand shop, that is. Both Snape and Harry were coming to the end of their patience- and choosing a wand was a lengthy process. Time and time again, Harry would pick up a wand, only to shatter a vase or something of equal significance. Ollivander just kept producing wand, after wand, after wand. Until Ollivander decided to try a wand he'd kept in the backroom for years... Voldemort's twin. He handed it to Harry, whose hands were twitching in anticipation. He held the wand and... another vase exploded. Snape wept quietly at the back of the wand shop.
Harry eventually came out with a 7 and 1/2 inch dogwood wand, with a core of White River Monster spine, which he was satisfied with. Ollivander had not made the wand himself, he had instead been gifted it by a distant relative, who was dubious of the wands origins. When Snape expressed concern about this, Firebug insisted it made the wand "more cooler".
Severus apparated Harry back to Queensland, and the Junker passed out on the floor.
September 1st was gonna be wicked.