A/N: KnightFury's dualistic imagination of prompts has infected me! I confess I wrote the first part completely before realising my mistake. Part one is a parody of the children's nursery song, "There's a Hole in my Bucket". The earliest version of this song was found in a collection of German songs Bergliederbüchlein from the 1700s. Part two is inspired by Jeremy Brett's portrayal of Sherlock Holmes in Granda's Musgrave Ritual.

Part One: Hole in Pocket

There's a hole in my pocket, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

There's a hole in my pocket, Ms Hudson, a hole.

~221b~

So mend it dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

So mend it dear doctor, dear doctor, mend it.

With what should I mend it, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

With what should I mend it, Ms Hudson, with what?

~221b~

With thread, dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

With thread, dear doctor, dear doctor, with thread.

But the thread is too thin, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

The thread is too thin, Ms Hudson, too thin.

~221b~

So darn it dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

So darn it dear doctor, dear doctor, darn it!

With what should I darn it, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

With what should I darn it, Ms Hudson, with what?

~221b~

With a yarn, dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

With a yarn, dear doctor, dear doctor, a yarn.

But the yarn is too short, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

The yarn is too short, Ms Hudson, too short.

~221b~

So, combine it, dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

So combine it dear doctor, dear doctor, combine it!

With what shall I combine it, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

With what shall I combine it, Ms Hudson, with what?

~221b~

Use the tie, dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

Use the tie, dear doctor, dear doctor, the tie.

But the tie is too hard, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

The tie is too hard, Ms Hudson, too hard.

~221b~

So learn it, dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

So learn it dear doctor, dear doctor, learn it.

With what should I learn it, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

With what should I learn it, Ms Hudson, with what?

~221b~

With notebook, dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

With notebook, dear doctor, dear doctor, notebook.

On what should I practice, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

On what should I practice, Ms Hudson, on what?

~221b~

Use the pocket dear doctor, dear doctor, dear doctor,

Use the pocket, dear doctor, dear doctor, the pocket!

There's a hole in my pocket, Ms Hudson, Ms Hudson,

There's a hole in my pocket, Ms Hudson, a hole.

Part Two: Hole in Ice

"I perceive you are intent upon a winter adventure," Holmes remarked as his bundled companion entered the room.

"Was it the double-layered clothing, the woollen socks, or the ice saw which gave me away?" Watson grinned.

"Well, if you're not satisfied with the short version, I could give you a detailed narrative starting with you're your unfortunate results at the races." Holmes sniffed.

"Not necessary. As you correctly guessed…"

"… I never guess, Watson. I logically conclude based on my analysis of all the facts."

"Yes, of course," the doctor replied. "As I was saying, I'm going ice fishing. Care to join?"

"Ice fishing?" Holmes quirked an eyebrow.

"The ice is thick enough. Four inches."

Holmes shivered. "Courtesy compels me to offer gratitude. I am honoured that you would consider my company palatable. However, the opportunity to totter across the perilous glassy water, chisel out a hole, and then wait with hook and line for dinner to swim along is not appealing. The thought of hypothermic conditions without the consolation of my pipe is alarming."

"I'll take that as a no." Watson good-naturedly gathered up the rest of his supplies.

"Good luck, old fellow," the detective murmured. "Best with your hole in the ice. I shall wait here, wholly warm."

Prompt from KnightFury: A hole in the ice