November 1997
Doctors were quite amazed by how long Jay was actually surviving after his body rejected the lung transplant but as the weeks passed his condition kept getting worse. His coughs were more frequent and even drew up blood now. He lost so much weight and his hair began to fall out. His eyes were tired and sunken but his smile still ever present. He smiled through his whole disease. He tried his best to stay happy for his children.
Today was not a happy day, though. Jay felt it. He knew that he was at the end now and there was nothing he could do about it. He looked at his children standing on either side of him. Raj was standing beside Daniel with his arms crossed trying very hard not to show any of his emotions. Jay was holding Daniel's hand with one of his own and cupped Lucy's cheek with the other.
"You two are both such brilliant and compassionate people," Jay told his children in a quiet voice. "I am so proud of you both and I know that you'll both be okay. No matter what happens you'll be okay."
"Dad..." Daniel whispered.
Jay looked over at him with a small smile and gave his hand a little squeeze. "Daniel, you are such a good man. Your mother would be so proud of you. You love with all your heart just like she did. You'll take care of your sister for me, won't you?"
"Of course," Daniel said, tears beginning sting his eyes and overflowing onto his cheeks. He couldn't stop them. He didn't want to try.
"And keep that Nina around," Jay said with a smile. "I can tell you really love her and she really loves you too. She's an amazing young woman. Don't let that one get away."
"Okay, Dad," Daniel said with a small smile.
"You'll take care of them for me, won't you Raj?" Jay said, looking over at his friend.
"Of course, Jay. Of course," Raj said, voice a little shaky. "I'll do everything in my power to keep them safe."
"Thank you," he said. "Thank you for everything. You have done so much for me and my family and I appreciate everything you've done. All the nights you spent here, all the extra work you took on. Thank you."
"It's not a problem at all," Raj said with a small smile. "I know if this was reversed you would have done the same for me."
God how he wished that this was reversed. Raj would do anything to switch places with Jay right now. Jay had two children, he needed to live. He needed to survive for them. Raj didn't have anyone. He could die without leaving too much of a mark but Jay. When Jay died the world would be so much darker than it was now.
Jay gave him a smile. "Still, I thank you. Let Maria know that I appreciate her too. She did a lot as well. Tell her thank you for me."
"I will," Raj said.
Jay then turned to look at Lucy who was standing alone on the other side of the bed. She leaned against the bedframe, her little hands holding his arm tightly as he caressed her cheek. Tears were already falling from her eyes and Jay did his best to wipe them away.
"Lucy, my darling," Jay whispered. "I am so proud of you too."
"D-Daddy," Lucy said. "Please, please don't."
"Now listen to me, darling," he continued. "You are so smart and so beautiful. You're going to do such great things, Lucy. And you have to do them even if I'm not there."
"But I want you to be there," Lucy said quickly, tears streaming down her face. "Daddy, please."
"I know, I know, my love," Jay replied. He sighed when he saw the broken look in his daughter's face. He looked back at Daniel, who was gripping his hand tightly, and Raj, who was looking away. They all had the same look on their face. He gave Daniel's hand a little squeeze before looking back at Lucy. "And I want to be there too. I want to be there so bad but sometimes these things happen. It'll be alright, love. You'll be alright. You and Daniel will both be alright. You'll find a way to be happy again, I promise."
"I don't know if I can ever be happy again," Lucy cried.
"You will, darling, you will," Jay insisted.
Suddenly the heart monitor beside the bed started beeping violently. Jay winced in pain. His hand fell from her cheek. Lucy grabbed it with both her hands and cried, "Dad, no! Please, please, Daddy!"
Raj moved quickly. "I'll get a nurse," he said. "Just hang in there, Jay, please."
He raced for the door but Jay didn't think he was going to be able to hang in there. He had to go. He knew he had to go. He looked over at Daniel. Daniel let go of his hand and raced to the other side of the bed so he was beside Lucy again and Jay could look at both of them. Jay smiled a little. If he had to die, his children being the last thing he saw wasn't so bad.
"Minerva will come back," he said quietly. He knew they didn't believe him anymore but he still had to tell them. "Take care of each other until then, okay?"
"Okay," Daniel said, voice choking up. Lucy didn't speak, she just nodded a little.
"When she does come back tell her that I missed her and that I love her. Tell her that I'm sorry that I couldn't see her one last time before I had to go."
"I'll tell her, Dad, don't worry," Daniel said, though he doubted he'd ever get a chance to.
"Daddy, please don't go!" Lucy cried. "Daddy, please!"
"Lucy, listen to me," Jay said. "Listen, some people search their whole lives for a little bit of magic but you! You have all that magic inside you and I know that with it you will do such great things. You are destined for greatness, my love. Remember that, okay?"
"Okay," Lucy whispered, though she didn't feel very great right now.
"You too, Daniel," Jay said, looking up at his son. "You may not be able to do magic but you still have so much magic inside you too. I'm so proud of you. The both of you." Jay winced again and looked up at the ceiling. "I think I may have to go soon, my darlings. Will you forgive me for leaving?"
"Yes, yes of course," Daniel whispered, his heart breaking. Of course Jay would apologize right before he died.
"Daddy, I love you," Lucy whispered, moving even closer and giving him a kiss on the cheek. "I love you so much!"
Jay smiled and closed his eyes.
The doors behind them opened and Raj and the doctors and nurses came in. The heart monitor flatlined but the doctors didn't move. Raj stared at them in disbelief, yelling at them to do something but they shook their head. Let him die with dignity, he heard a doctor. He watched his best friend convulse on the hospital bed and then looked over at Daniel and Lucy.
"Daniel, take your sister out of here!" he yelled. They shouldn't be watching this.
Daniel looked back at him not understanding what he was saying for a minute, tears blurring his vision. His mind was clouded and he could barely hear what was going on. It wasn't until he felt Lucy fling herself onto the bed and sob on Jay's chest that he snapped out of his trance. He grabbed her and pulled her away.
"NO!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. She looked around at the nurses and doctors who had moved to bed now. They were still not doing anything. Jay's body was limp now. Unmoving. His eyes closed. They started removing the wires and tubes from his body. She heard a doctor read out the time of death. "NO! HE'S NOT DEAD! YOU HAVE TO SAVE HIM! DO SOMETHING! WHY AREN'T YOU DO ANYTHING?! DO SOMETHING!" Lucy looked over at her uncle who was just standing there, tears rolling down his cheeks. "MAKE THEM DO SOMETHING!"
He didn't look at her and she kept screaming. Daniel carried her out of the room as she kept squirming and struggling, trying to get away. He was saying something to her but she couldn't understand. His voice sounded muffled, like they were underwater. The doctors were saying things too but she couldn't make out what they were saying either. A nurse came up to her and Daniel as she kept struggling to make her leave the room and tried to calm Lucy down but she couldn't understand what she was saying either. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion and Lucy didn't even know what her own body was doing. She just wanted her dad. He wasn't dead. He was right there and if she could get to him everything would be okay.
Daniel held her tightly and the nurse helped him by holding her hands so she couldn't hit him. They made it outside of the room and the nurse let her go. She couldn't see her father anymore and her body went limp. She stopped everything. She stopped because she knew. She knew but she didn't understand. She still couldn't understand. She couldn't make herself comprehend.
Daniel shifted her so he could hold her properly. Lucy wasn't holding herself up anymore so it made it very difficult. He rested his back on the hallway wall and slowly slid down onto his butt. He held his sister tightly as she sobbed. After a while, when he was sure she wouldn't try to run away from him, he lets her go and covers his own face with his hands. They sat there like that for a long time before he felt Lucy move again. He uncovered his face and looked up.
Lucy had turned and was standing in his lap. Tears stained her cheeks and her eyes were very red. She looked up at him and he put his arms around her, pulling her closer to him. She leaned on his chest and reached up to wiped the tears off his cheeks with both of her hands, tears still falling down her own cheeks. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Daniel..." she whispered, voice shaky and barely audible. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, resting her head on his shoulder.
They sat there for a while. Daniel didn't really know how long but it felt like ages. No one disturbed them. The doctors and nurses knew that they needed time. When he finally got his strength back, Daniel wiped the tears from his face and stood up. He was ready to be the adult and do what needed to be done next.
He walked with Lucy still in his arms away from his father's hospital room and out of the unit. Outside in the waiting room he saw Raj sitting waiting for them. He had been giving them space too. When he saw them he stood up and met them halfway. He held his arms out and Daniel handed Lucy over. Lucy looked at him and hugged him tightly.
"It'll be okay, my love," he whispered. "You and Daniel should go though."
Daniel shook his head. He told Raj that there was a lot of work to get done now. A lot of paperwork to go through, a lot of doctors and lawyers to talk to. Raj said he'd handle it and Daniel should just go home and rest but Daniel refused. He was going to do it. He wanted to do it. He told Raj that he should take Lucy but Raj said that he was going to stay at the hospital with Daniel. He wasn't going to let Daniel do all of this on his own. Now they just needed to figure out who would take Lucy while they did that.
Nina came as quickly as she could when Daniel called her. She had been staying with them in London at night after her classes but had stayed behind at the hotel today so she could work on an assignment she had due. She took a cab to the hospital and found Daniel, Raj, and Lucy sitting in the waiting area by the front door. Neither of them were crying anymore, neither of them were talking and neither of them were looking at each other. Daniel sat resting his elbows on his thighs, leaning forwards with his hands folded. He stared straight ahead, looking like he was very deep in thought. Lucy had her feet up on the chair, knees tucked into her chest. She had a hand over her mouth and chin and was looking sadly off to the side. Raj sat straight up, looking off in the distance, with military like posture.
Nina raced over to them, tears falling down her cheeks. Daniel saw her and stood up immediately. They hugged and Lucy watched them from where she sat. After they pulled away, Nina looked at the other two. Raj gave her a polite nod as greeting and Lucy just stared at her. Nina kneeled down in front of Lucy and took her hands before asking a question that Lucy would hear way too many time in the next few weeks and would never know how to respond to.
"Are you alright, my love?"
Lucy just nodded a very unconvincing nod. Nina looked up at Daniel with a very concerned look. He took no notice and just told her what to do next. Nina was to take Daniel's car back to the hotel with Lucy while he finished up at the hospital. Raj would give him a ride back to the hotel after they finished up. Nina didn't like this plan. She told him to come with her. She told them both to come with her. She told them that the paperwork could wait and that they didn't have to put all of this on their shoulders right now. They needed time to grieve. Daniel shook his head and insisted that he had to get it done today or he wouldn't be able to make himself do it later. Nina looked over at Raj who gave her a reassuring look. He stood up and told her to take care of Lucy, they would be done soon. Daniel told her, very unconvincingly, that he was fine and handed her his keys and Lucy's jacket. Reluctantly Nina took them, said goodbye to Daniel and Raj and watched them walk back towards the unit Jay had been in. She then looked back at Lucy, who was standing up now too. Lucy was ready to leave the hospital. She wanted to be as far away from this place as possible. Nina got back down on a knee and helped Lucy put on and zip up her winter coat. She also helped her put on her mittens and then the two girls walked hand in hand towards the car. When they reached it, Nina helped Lucy get in and buckle up in the back and then got into the driver's seat herself.
They drove in silence back to the hotel. Nina looked at Lucy through the rearview mirror every so often. The little girl just stared out the window of the car at the people on the street without a word. The people outside all seemed to be happy. All going about their day as if nothing had happened. As if Lucy's whole world hadn't just been completely destroyed. She felt anger towards them. How dare they not know. How dare they be happy when all Lucy felt was despair. She wanted the sun to disappear from the sky and the clouds to cover everything in ten feet snow so that everyone and everything outside could be as cold as she felt inside. She wanted everyone to feel the pain she felt right now. She wanted them to know that all the happiness had been drained from this world and that there was nothing left.
As if per her request, snow began to fall from the sky. Lucy and Nina made it to the hotel and got out of the car. The snow settled in their hair and on their coats as they made their way into the hotel. They walked to their room on the top floor. When Nina unlocked the door and opened it, Lucy quickly took off her boots and walked over to a big window and pushed the curtains aside. She sat down in an armchair by the window and looked down on London. The snow fell down in large, fluffy flakes covering the streets below. She had not removed her coat or mittens. She still felt cold. The cold felt colder and more encompassing than it had before. It was suffocating. She felt like she would never be warm ever again.
Nina walked over to her. She reached down and put a hand on Lucy's shoulder. "Are you hungry, darling? Do you want me to get you some food?"
Lucy shook her head.
"Alright," Nina replied. "Don't you want to take off your coat and mittens?"
Again she just shook her head.
"Are you cold?"
This time Lucy nodded. Nina sighed. She walked towards a bedroom and grabbed a blanket. She dragged it back out to where Lucy is. Putting the blanket down beside the armchair, Nina kneeled down in front of Lucy. Grabbing her hands, she pulled the little girl off the chair and unzipped her coat. The coat was still a little damp from the melted snow.
"No. I don't want to," Lucy protested quietly.
"It's okay," Nina said, forcing her to take off the coat. "If you want you can keep the mittens on. Do you want to?"
Lucy nodded. With her coat now off she felt so much colder. Nina tossed the wet jacket onto another chair nearby and then got up. She picked up the blanket that she brought and put it down on the chair Lucy had been sitting in. She sat down on the chair and pulled Lucy onto her lap. Then wrapped the big blanket around the both of them. Lucy turned so she is sitting perpendicular in Nina's lap and wrapped her arm around her stomach. Nina wrapped her arms around her too. Lucy clung to Nina's body for the warmth she was missing, resting her head on Nina's chest. The two of them sat there like that for a really long time, not saying anything just watching the snow fall outside.
...
Daniel and Raj pulled up to the hotel late that night. Raj dropped him off and Daniel told him that he should just go home. Raj needed rest as well and Daniel didn't feel right making him stay with them. Raj reluctantly let Daniel go alone and drove off back to his own flat.
Daniel walked up to their room and found Lucy and Nina still in the armchair holding each other. They were fast asleep now. He took off his coat and boots before walking over to them. He checked the time on his watch. It was quite late now. He debated whether he should just let them sleep on the chair but seeing the way Nina's neck was tilted decided against it. He shook her gently enough to wake only her up. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile. He returned it and then picked Lucy up off her lap. She woke up when he did so.
"Daniel?" she murmured, still half asleep.
"Hey, Lucy," he replied. "It's time to go to bed."
"Can I sleep with you and Nina?" she whispered back, wrapping her arms around his neck and resting her head on his shoulder. "I don't want to be alone."
"Sure, kid," Daniel said softly.
He walked into his and Nina's bedroom with Lucy still in his arms and laid her down on the bed. Nina followed them in, blanket in hand. She put the blanket down on the bed on top of Lucy and then both she and Daniel got changed before getting into bed too.
November 1997
Amelia woke up to an extremely cold house. With a flick of her wand a fire started in the fireplace and coffee began brewing in the kitchen as she got up and got ready for the day. She walked towards the kitchen, picking up the mail from the front on her way, and poured herself a cup of coffee. Sitting down at the table, she sipped the warm drink as she shuffled through the letters she received. Nothing of too much interest so she moved on to the paper. The Muggle paper always arrived earlier than the Daily Prophet so she had a habit of reading that one first. Thankfully there was no huge catastrophe plastered across this morning's paper. She had begun to think that there was always a new one everyday so days like today were quite pleasant surprises.
Amelia read through the newspaper and turned the page to find Jay Collins's smiling face staring up at her. She read the article title, gasped, and dropped her mug. She accidentally spilled hot coffee over the table and quickly stood up to avoid getting doused in it.
CEO of Collins Enterprises, Jay Collins, Pronounced Dead in Victoria Hospital
Amelia quickly used her wand to clean up her mess before sitting down and reading the article quickly. Cystic fibrosis is what killed him. A lung disease that if she recalled correctly had also killed his mother. He had been staying in that hospital for months.
No, this couldn't be right. There must be some mistake. If Jay was staying in the hospital for months she would have found out about it, wouldn't she? Amelia quickly rushed towards her study and picked up the phone, punching in the Collins's number. The phone rang for a long time and no one picked up. Finally the answering machine did but it said that the inbox was full and Amelia wouldn't be able to leave a message. Amelia pulled out a large London phone book and found Victoria Hospital. She called the number and asked the woman who answered about Jay Collins. The woman told her that he had indeed passed away. Amelia hung up the phone, tears falling down her cheeks. She couldn't believe it. Jay Collins was dead.
Amelia grabbed her coat and quickly Apparated up to Hogwarts.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but Mr. Collins passed away last night," a blonde woman said sadly.
"No, no, this must be a mistake," Minerva said angrily. "It must be a different Collins. I'm talking about Jay Collins."
"So am I, Ma'am. I'm sorry."
Minerva closed her eyes, took a deep breath and gripped the counter tightly. Tears stung her eyes and she did her best to hold them back. "How long did he stay here?"
"Ah," the receptionist said, typing on her computer. "He was brought here four months ago in July."
"Okay, thank you," Minerva whispered, pushing away from the counter and walking briskly for the door. Tears were running down her cheeks now and she just had to get away. She walked through the cold streets of London until she finally made it to a dark alleyway. She ducked in and slammed her back into a wall. "AUGH!"
Tears streamed down her face and she pulled out her wand. She flicked it and a flash of red light flashed out of it exploded against a dumpster.
This wasn't supposed to happen. She left so this wouldn't happen. What was the point of being away from her family for the last two years if she still couldn't protect them? She slid down the brick wall and sat down on the snow with her knees up to her chest and just cried for a very long time.
...
Lucy woke up the next morning very angry. Angry at Daniel and Nina, angry at herself, angry at the world. She refused to eat breakfast and refused to help pack. When Raj came over she refused to greet him or even move from her seat on an armchair. She didn't want to talk, she didn't want to eat, she didn't want to do anything.
"Hey, Princess," Raj said quietly, kneeling down in front of Lucy's chair. "We're all packed up. You three are going to head back to Rochester now."
Lucy shook her head.
"You don't want to go back?"
Again she shook her head.
"Do you want to stay in London?"
Still, Lucy shook her head.
"Then what would you like to do?"
Lucy sighed and shrugged. She slid off the armchair and hugged Raj.
Raj sighed and wrapped his arms around her. "I know it's hard, my love," he said, putting a hand on the back of her head. "I know you don't feel like doing anything but he wouldn't want that. He would want you to keep going."
"I don't want to go home without Daddy," Lucy whispered. "I want Daddy."
"I know," Raj said with a sigh. "I know."
He picked Lucy up and walked to where Daniel and Nina were standing, waiting by the door. Daniel handed him Lucy's coat and he helped her put it on. He then put her down so he could help her put on her boots and then took her hand and led them all down to the parkade where Daniel's car was.
"I had Maria talk to your schools," he said. "She told them that you would be taking the next few days off."
Daniel nodded as he unlocked the doors. Raj opened the back door for Lucy. "And if you ever need to talk to someone," he said. "There a loads of counsellors available through the school. If you don't want to talk to one of them we can find someone else."
"I don't need to talk to anyone," Lucy mumbled as she put on her seatbelt.
"It's alright to talk to someone about how you feel, Lucy," he said. "There's no shame in asking for help."
She didn't say anything. Raj sighed and said goodbye before closing the door. He looked over at Nina and Daniel and told Daniel the same thing. He nodded and gave Raj a hug before getting into the driver's seat. Raj then looked at Nina.
"Take care of them, will you?" he asked her sadly. He knew that she was only eighteen and he was asking a lot of her but right now he just needed to make sure that Lucy and Daniel stayed okay. "I'll come over as much as I can but... but look after them while I'm not there."
"Of course, Uncle," she said with a small smile. "I'll do my best."
He put a hand on her shoulder and have it a little squeeze. "You're a good girl," he said. "I'll come over tonight with dinner."
She nodded and said goodbye before getting into the car too. He watched the car drive away and sighed. It was strange to see how much could change in just one day. How much colder the world could become with just one less person in it. Raj got into his own car and drove down to the Collins Enterprises building. It was early on a Friday, and most departments had been given the day off so he hadn't expected to see anyone else.
He took the elevator up to the top floor and walked towards Jay's office. When he turned the corner, he saw Maria sitting at her desk waiting for him. She gave him a small sad smile and held out a bottle of whisky.
He pulled a chair over and sat down at her desk. She poured each of them a cup. It was much too early to be drinking but today they both needed it.
...
Amelia appeared outside the Hogwarts gates. Aurors were stationed there to check anyone coming in. She passed by them quickly enough and walked briskly up to the castle. Snow fell around her as she walked, settling in her hair and on her coat. She made it to the castle and walked through the cold empty hallways towards Gryffindor Tower. Today was a cold day and it seemed everyone, student, teacher and refugee alike, were taking refuge by fireplaces or under blankets. For them it was just an ordinary, slow Friday morning.
Amelia made it to Minerva's office and opened the door. The office was empty but newspapers from today were scattered across the desk. A lone candle sat beside the mess of newspapers looking like it had been blown out long ago. A forgotten cup of tea sat half full on the edge of the desk with delicate red lipstick staining its rim. A framed family photo lay face down on the floor, glass shards surrounding it. It looked like it must have been thrown. Amelia picked it up and used her wand to mend it. She looked down at the smiling faces of Minerva, Jay, Daniel, and Lucy for a second before sighing, closing the office door and sitting down in front of the desk to wait for her friend.
Minerva arrived almost two hours later, eyes red and shivering. Amelia hopped to her feet immediately and helped her over to her chair. Amelia helped her take off her coat and sent a House Elf for hot tea.
"Y-you heard," Minerva whispered still shivering as Amelia conjured up a blanket and put it around her.
"I did," Amelia said quietly, wrapping her arms around Minerva's shoulders. Minerva avoided her gaze and stared straight ahead. "I'm so sorry, Minerva. I didn't believe it when I first heard."
"I didn't either," Minerva said. Amelia had to strain to hear her despite being right beside her. "I went down to Victoria Hospital myself to see for sure."
Amelia sighed. So that's where Minerva had been. She must have spent hours out in the cold after visiting the hospital to be in this condition now.
"He had been there for four months. Stuck in the hospital for four months and I - I didn't even know," Minerva continued, tears starting up again. They stung on her still frozen skin as they went down her cheeks. She had thought she was all cried out. "If I had known... if I had been there... maybe..."
"It's not your fault," Amelia whispered, own eyes watering now too. "It's not your fault, Minerva."
"I left, Amelia! If I had stayed... maybe... I could have done... something," Minerva cried. "I let him down. I let them all down!"
"No, you didn't," Amelia said. "No, you didn't. You could never do that."
Minerva looked down at the newspapers on her desk. She felt tears fall from her eyes as the smiling face of her husband looked up at her from the paper. Jay Collins, CEO of Collins Enterprises, pronounced dead in Victoria Hospital. More bodies were piling up as the war raged on and Minerva had cried for the losses of old students, friends and colleagues but this was different. This came out of the blue. She had left home to avoid something like this and it happened anyway. Her husband was dead.
There was a knock on the door. Minerva quickly wiped her face as Amelia got up to get the door. She opened the door to find Albus Dumbledore standing on the other side. She sighed and let him in.
"I heard," he said quietly, walking over to the desk and sitting down in front of it. Amelia closed the door behind him and followed his lead.
Minerva closed her eyes for a second and felt Dumbledore place a hand over hers. "He's gone, Albus," she whispered. "He's gone and I wasn't there for him. If I had been there maybe I could have done something! If I had known I could have had Poppy look him over!"
"It's not your fault, Minerva," Albus said. "You didn't know."
Minerva didn't reply. She looked away from Albus and Amelia and looked at a framed photograph on her desk. She had thrown it across the room this morning when she had first found out. Amelia must have fixed it. She picked up the frame and leaned back in her chair. Jay was smiling with one arm around Minerva and held a two year old Lucy in the other. Lucy was pointing a finger at the camera. She was leaning her head on her father's and smiling. Minerva remembered how hard it had been to keep her from running away from the camera to go play with some new toy that she had gotten earlier that day. Eventually they had given up and Jay had just picked her up. A fourteen year old Daniel stood in front of them with a wide grin in his face. Minerva ruffled his hair and he swatted her hand away. It was an old photo. Lucy was six now and Daniel was eighteen. She hadn't seen them both in two years.
"Are you going to the funeral?" Dumbledore asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.
"I don't know," Minerva mumbled.
"What about the children?" Amelia asked.
"I don't know," she mumbled again, closing her eyes. She wanted to go back. She wanted to go back so bad. They probably needed her. But would that just put them in more danger?
They sat there in silence for a long time before finally Dumbledore spoke. "I do have some good news if you want to hear it."
Minerva looked up and gave a small nod.
"Lilly is pregnant."
"Really?"
"Yes, she's about a month along," Dumbledore replied with a smile.
"That's excellent," Amelia said quietly with a small smile. "First Frank and Alice and now Lily and James."
"How is she doing?" Minerva asked, wiping the last bit of tears from her cheek.
"She is well."
"That's good," Minerva replied tiredly. She sat up straight again and put her photograph back into her desk drawer.
"Even in dark times like these, you can still find a little bit of light," Dumbledore said giving her a small smile.
...
Daniel, Nina and Lucy made it back to Rochester to find their front entrance filled with white flower bouquets. Lucy walked over to one of them and picked up a note. It expressed the sender's condolences and told Lucy and Daniel to stay strong. Lucy shoved the note back into the bouquet. All the flowers and notes made her angry. These people didn't really care about her father. If they cared they would have done something when he was sick.
Lucy ran up the stairs and into her room, slamming the door shut behind her. She looked around her room angrily before running to her bookshelf and grabbing books to throw across the room. Hardcover books hit the walls and floors with loud bangs. She moved from shelf to shelf throwing book after book. Angry tears rolled down Lucy's cheeks and hair fell out of its braid in front of her eyes.
The door swung open and a frantic Daniel stumbled in. He looked around at the mess of books around the room and then over to Lucy. "What the hell are you doing?"
Lucy ignored him. She had run out of books so she moved to her dresser. She pulled out drawers and let them fall onto the floor, barely missing her toes.
"Lucy stop it!" Daniel yelled, moving over and putting a hand over the drawer so that she couldn't pull it open.
She pulled as hard as she could but he wasn't going to let it move. She gave up and picked stuff up from on top of the dresser. She grabbed a candle and threw it at the opposite wall. The glass candle holder shattered and fell to the floor. Daniel stared at it in disbelief. Lucy moved to the next thing she could grab. She picked up a glass Eiffel Tower and threw that too. She then grabbed the mahogany music box but before she could throw it as well, Daniel snapped out of his trance and grabbed it from her.
"No! Stop! Lucy!" he yelled, taking it from her. She paid no attention to him, grabbed a hairbrush and threw that instead. Daniel put the music box down and grabbed her around the waist, dragging her towards the bed. Lucy struggled with all her might but she was no match for him.
"No!" she screamed. "I don't want to! No! I want... no!"
"Lucy stop, please," he whispered this time, tears rolling down his own face now. He sat down on the edge of her bed holding her tightly in his lap as she struggled to get away.
"I hate him!" Lucy screamed. "Why'd he leave? He shouldn't have left! I hate him!"
"No, you don't," Daniel whispered. "No, you don't."
"Yes, I do! I hate him! I hate him for... for..."
"For dying?"
Finally Lucy stopped. She stopped struggling and went limp in Daniel's arms. Stopping made everything worse. Suddenly she couldn't hide behind anger. Suddenly she could feel the cold darkness surround her again. Suddenly all she could do was watch her whole world crash down around her and she was unable to do anything to stop it. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. She covered her face with her hands and sobbed. Daniel moved her so she was sitting better in his lap. He wiped his own tears and hugged Lucy close to him.
"It's not fair!" she cried.
"I know," he whispered. His voice breaking a little as more tears streamed down his face. "It's not. It's really not."
"He was supposed to get better! He was supposed to come home!" she continued. "We were going to go to that new restaurant on High Street! And I was going to show him my new dance! I wanted to - I wanted to do so many things! It's not fair!"
"I know, Lucy. Me too."
Lucy turned in his lap and hugged his chest tightly, burying her tear stained face into his chest. Daniel put a hand on the back of her head and rubbed circles on her back. "D-Daniel... what are we going to do?"
"I don't know, Lucy," he replied honestly. He couldn't lie to her now. He was just as lost and scared as she was. "I really don't know."
December 1997
Lucy looked up at the photo sitting at the front of the funeral home surrounded by flowers. The photo was an older photo, her father looked much younger in it. She wondered how old he had been in it. He looked very happy.
The ceremony was over and the casket had been carried out to the hearse where it would be driven to the cemetery. Daniel had given a speech. It was nice. He talked about his best memories with Jay and some of the advice Jay had given him.
"Keep your head up, even when it feels like everything around you is collapsing," he had said, looking directly at Lucy when he said it. "Because when the dust settles and you finally reach your destination you'll be so glad that you did."
People were starting to leave, some to accompany them to the cemetery, others to just go home. Raj had did his best to keep reporters and cameras out but they stood outside waiting to take pictures of Lucy and Daniel. Lucy wished they would just leave them alone. She didn't want her picture taken. She didn't want them to ask her questions. She didn't want to talk. She just wanted to be left alone.
Lucy looked around. Most everyone had cleared out now. Daniel, Nina and Raj were standing by the door talking to people who came to give their condolences. Lucy had left because she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want people who barely knew them to tell them how amazing her father had been. She already knew how amazing he was and it just hurt even more. He was too good to just die.
Lucy took a couple steps towards the stage and looked up at the picture of her father. She just wanted him to come back. She had avoided the stage earlier, not wanting to look at the cold, lifeless body of her father. She just couldn't. She didn't mind looking at this happy, smiling Jay though. It made her feel a little better to see him like this.
"What are you doing up there?" said an American voice behind her.
Lucy turned around to see a man with snowy white hair and a white moustache. She recognized this man. It was Howard Stark. She had met him on a visit to Collins Enterprises once.
"Nothing," she whispered, looking down at her feet. "Sorry."
"That's alright. I wasn't trying to tell you off," he said with a small smile that didn't really reach his eyes. "I think that right now you get to do whatever it is you'd like."
Lucy looked up again and looked at this man. Why was he talking to her? Why wasn't he talking with Uncle Raj or Daniel?
"Your father told me a lot about you, Miss Collins," Stark said. "We met once but you were quite young, I'm not sure if you remember."
"I do."
"That's great! That marvelous memory of yours!" he said. He looked back around him and saw that Daniel was now walking towards them, alone. Nina and Raj were still standing by the door. He smiled the same false smile that he had given Lucy. "Ah, Mr. Collins. Howard Stark. I worked closely with your father on a few projects here and there."
Daniel walked over and Lucy scrambled off the stage towards him. She took his hand and all but hid behind his legs. Stark stuck out his hand and Daniel shook it. "Yes," he said. "I've heard of you, sir. Thank you for coming."
"Of course," Stark replied, his voice was odd. He sounded like he was trying very hard to sound fatherly and warm but failing miserably. There was a cold, robotism under his words that he just couldn't hide. Lucy had heard it the first time they met and still heard it now. It made her very suspicious of this man. "I am very sorry for your loss. Your father was a great man."
"Yeah," Daniel mumbled, also hearing the insincerity in Stark's voice.
"You're father told me a lot about you both," Stark said, not noticing Daniel and Lucy's hesitation. He wasn't very good at this kind of thing. He wished Peggy was here. She knew how to deal with grieving people, especially children, better than he did. "My son is not that much younger than you. Maybe you'll meet him someday."
"Ah, yeah, we've met," Daniel said. He just wanted to get going. The funeral procession wanted to head out and he knew that they would be waiting for him and Lucy. He tried his best to hint that they were in a rush but Stark didn't seem to get it.
"Oh, right. Anyways. I just wanted to make sure that all the deals that Stark Industries had made with Collins Enterprises before now will still be held," Howard said, his voice changing to a diplomatic one. They had exchanged enough pleasantries in his opinion. It was time to get back to business. The real reason he was here.
Daniel was a bit taken aback. Was Howard Stark really talking business at his father's funeral? Daniel frowned and stared at the man for a moment before finally saying coldly, "You'll have to take that up with the Board of Directors. I will not be running my father's company yet. I'm still in school, you see."
"Ah, yes of course," he replied.
"Well, Lucy and I better get going, Mr. Stark," Daniel said quickly before he could bring up something else. He wanted to get away from this man as soon as possible. "It was nice meeting you and thank you again for coming."
"You as well," Howard said.
He and Daniel shook hands one last time before Daniel led Lucy away. As they walked, Lucy saw the angry expression on her brother's face. She didn't really understand what exactly had just happened but she knew whatever it was, it could not have been good.
They made it back to the door where Daniel let go of Lucy's hand and handed her over to Nina instead. He pulled Raj aside a little and the two had a hushed conversation which left Raj very upset as well. Raj looked around but thankfully for everyone there, he did not see Howard Stark. He shook his head and said something to Daniel that Lucy didn't hear before leading them out to the cars.
...
A black and grey tabby cat stood far away from the procession of people in black suits and dresses holding black umbrellas watching them intently. Rain poured down but the cat didn't move. She watched the casket move towards the graves and shook her head. She looked away, over to the car driving by on the street.
"Lucy?"
The cat turned it's head towards the voice. It was a young woman, probably around eighteen or nineteen. She had caramel brown skin, brown eyes, and long black hair. She was wearing a thick black coat and holding a little girl's hand. Lucy was so much older now. Her hair was long, coming to about mid back. Half of it was clipped up while the rest laid over her shoulders. She was staring off, away from the funeral.
"Are you ready to go back?" the woman asked.
"No," she whispered, shaking her head vigorously. "I don't want to go back. Can I go sit in the car?"
"Sure," the woman said. "Let's go."
"No," Lucy said again. "I want to be alone. You should go back to Daniel."
"It's alright. He can -"
"No, you should go back," Lucy said. "I have an umbrella. I can go myself."
The woman looked Lucy up and down for a second before nodding. "Alright, if you're sure," she said, pulling her keys out from her pocket and handing them to Lucy. "Come find me or Daniel if you need anything, love."
"Okay, Nina," Lucy mumbled, opening up her umbrella and walking away from the woman. Nina watched her go for a minute before sighing and walking back towards the group of mourners.
The cat watched Lucy walk a few steps, look back and see Nina was gone before letting her umbrella fall to her side and the rain pour down on her. She looked up at the sky and let the rain wash over her face. She took a deep breath and put her umbrella back up before walking again, towards the carpark. The cat moved quickly to catch up with the girl. It ran up to her and started walking under the umbrella as well. Lucy looked down and saw the cat. She stopped walking and stared at it.
"You probably don't like the rain, huh?" she whispered, leaning down and petting the cat on the head. She sighed. "The rain's not that bad, though. It helps, I think. The sky is crying like everybody else."
She straightened up again and started walking again. The cat followed, rubbing her face on Lucy's leg. Lucy walked up to a car and used the keys that Nina gave her to open it. She opened the door and closed her umbrella. Throwing the umbrella inside, she picked up the cat, got in and closed the door. Now inside the warm, dry car, Lucy leaned back in the seat and sighed. She set the cat down beside her and kicked off her muddy shoes. She put up her legs and leaned on the door.
"I'm not having a good day, Mr. Cat," she said quietly. She took a deep breath and gulped. "I'm not really having a good... month... year."
The cat jumped on Lucy's lap and curled up close to her. Lucy's breathing started getting rapid and she put her head in her hands. She sobbed into her hands, whole body shaking. The cat rubbed its face on Lucy's hands. Lucy looked up, tears staining her face. She wiped her tears away and looked away. She sniffed and pet the cat in her lap.
"He was supposed to get better," Lucy whispered, tears falling down her cheeks again. "He was supposed to come home and be here... and be with us... and love us... and be happy. He wasn't supposed to leave. Why does everyone leave?"
The cat purred softly and consolingly. Lucy looked down at it and sighed. She scratched it behind the ears and smiled a little. She wiped the tears away again. The cat meowed and snuggled closer to Lucy's chest.
"I just miss him so much. I really needed him and I don't know what I'm going to do now that he's gone. All I want is to be able to talk to him one last time and say goodbye properly. Just see him. Tell him about my day. Listen to him. Why didn't I listen to him more? Why was I such a brat? I should have been better."
Lucy picked up the cat and moved it over to the seat beside her. She straighten up and sat properly, looking out of the rain covered window at the mourners. She hiccuped and sniffled. Getting up, she reached over in between the driver and passenger seat to grab a napkin. She sat back down and blew her nose. She looked at the cat that seemed to be looking at her with concern and frowned. She looked back outside and shook her head.
"They say that he's in a better place now," she muttered darkly, voice getting louder and angrier with every word. "That's not true. If he was in a better place he would be here. With me and Daniel. But he's not. What place could be better? They also say that he's watching over me. That's stupid. He's not. He's gone. He's gone and he's not coming back!" She kicked the seat in front of her with her foot. "He's never coming back! He's gone! Why are people stupid? Why don't they understand that?"
The cat meowed and moved closer to Lucy's leg but she pushed it away.
"He's gone and nothing will ever be the same," she whispered, anger subsiding into sadness and loneliness. "They say I'm strong and I'm trying but I'm not. I'm not strong. I'm still just little! I'm little and I'm scared and I'm alone and I want my daddy so bad!"
She brought her legs up and tucked them into her chest. She buried her head in her arms and sobbed. The cat watched her for a second wanting nothing more than to change back into a person here and now so she could console this crying little girl. Lucy cried and cried for what felt like ages before she stopped. She looked up and saw people begin to walk away from the grave. She wiped the tears away from her face, put her shoes back on and grabbed her umbrella. She opened the door, opened the umbrella, let the cat out and ran towards the gravestone. The cat followed behind her. People call her name, telling her to stay strong and that everything will be alright as she ran passed them, giving them no attention. They eyed the cat running at her feet but said nothing.
When she reached the tombstone there were only three people left standing there, Daniel, Nina, and Raj. The cat stayed back and hid amongst neighbouring tombstones, not wanting Daniel to recognized. Daniel, Nina, and Raj looked over at Lucy and gave her small reassuring smiles. Nina held out her hand for Lucy. Lucy walked up and took it. She walked closer to stone and read it. Jay Collins, 1945-1997. His life was our life's best part.
"Here," Nina said softly, holding a single white rose out to Lucy. "I saved one for you, in case you came back."
Lucy took it and walked closer to the grave. She looked at the flowers set in front of it for a second before ignoring them and walking closer. Instead she set her rose down on top of the tombstone. She then put a hand on the stone. The black rock was cold on her skin. "Bye, Daddy," she whispered, tears falling down her cheeks again. "I didn't get to say goodbye before... I miss you so much already."
She stood there for a moment longer before turning back and looking at Raj, Nina and Daniel. She walked over to Raj. He kneeled down and hugged her tightly before lifting her up into his arm. "Let's go home, Princess."
Nina took her umbrella from her as she no longer needed it under Raj's. Lucy wrapped her arms around her uncle's shoulders and buried her face into the crook of his neck. He held her with one arm and hold the umbrella up above them with the other as he followed Nina and Daniel back down towards the car. Daniel put an arm around Nina as they walked.
The cat watched them go. She watched the cars drive away one by one. Off to find warmth in their own homes. After the last one was gone and a thorough glance around found no stranglers, the cat turned back around and looked at the grave. Slowly she transformed into a woman, wearing her hair down and long black robes. Minerva McGonagall kneeled down in front of her husband's grave and cried. She watched the wind and rain beat at the white petals of the rose Lucy had put on the stone and let all the emotions she had tried to hold back after the day she had found out about her husband's passing overflow.
The tears didn't feel like they had an end to them but eventually they did stop. Though the pain did not subside the tears refused to fall anymore. Minerva was all cried out. The rain had washed her clean and the cool air had decloud her mind. Now it was time for her to focus clearly and think about what her next move was going to be. Should she stay away still? The war was still raging on and it was still a huge risk for her to be traveling to and from Rochester everyday. It was dangerous for the children for her to be around. Should she go home anyways? They needed her. Lucy felt scared and alone and needed a parent. Daniel was only eighteen. He wasn't ready to raise his sister on top of everything else. Even with Raj there to help, Daniel would still have so much more responsibilities on him than he needed right now. He needed time to mourn on his own without worrying about Lucy.
Minerva didn't know what to do. She stared at her husband's name etched cleanly into the stone. She knew what he would have wanted her to do but she needed to do what was best. Or did she? Is what is best for you always what you should do? Minerva guessed that this was something she had to figure out. She stood up, pulled out her wand and conjured up a white rose like the one Lucy had set on the stone. She set it down on the tombstone on the opposite side of Lucy's and then Apparated back to Hogwarts.
Friday, November 27th 1998
"Lucy, darling, why are you still in bed?" Minerva said, quickly bursting into Lucy's bedroom. She had woken the girl up about thirty minutes ago and had thought that she getting ready. "Dorcas and Remus will be here soon."
Lucy groaned and turned over in bed, pulling the blanket over her head. Minerva frowned and walked over to the bed. She kneeled down beside it and put a hand on her back. "What's wrong, my love? Do you feel sick?"
Lucy shook her head.
"Then what's wrong?"
Lucy took a deep breath and turned so she could look at her mother. Minerva saw the tears rolling down her face. She looked very tired, like she hadn't gotten any sleep the night before. Her nose was red and her eyes were puffy.
"It's the twenty seventh," she whispered.
Minerva sighed and pushed some of Lucy's hair out of her face. "I know, my love," she whispered. She wiped the tears from her cheeks. "I know."
"It's been a whole year," Lucy whispered. "And it still hurts so much."
"I know," Minerva said quietly, "but I don't think that laying in bed like this is going to help you feel better. Sometimes the best way to move on is to get up and make yourself move on."
More tears fell down Lucy's cheeks and she shook her head violently. She hugged a stuffed tabby cat close to her chest and buried her face in her pillow again. Minerva sighed and put a hand on the back of her head.
"Okay, darling," she said. "You can stay home today. You don't have to go to school, it's okay. I understand. I'll have Raj call the school and let them know you're not feeling well. I'll have breakfast brought up and I'll ask Remus and Dorcas to stay here with you while I go teach, okay? I'll be back at lunch."
Lucy nodded a little.
Minerva leaned down and kissed the top of Lucy's head. "It will get better, Lucy," she said. "It might hurt now and it might keep hurting for a long time but eventually it'll start hurting a little less."
Lucy pulled the blankets closer around her. She felt so cold. She just wanted to get warm again but nothing she did was working. Minerva helped her fix the blankets before getting up, saying one last goodbye, and leaving the room. She walked to her office, called a House Elf to bring breakfast for Lucy, and sent Raj a patronus. She waited at her desk for a little while before Remus and Dorcas finally arrived.
"Come in," she said.
The door opened and they walked in with smiles on their faces. They said their cheerful greetings and Minerva had to remind herself not to be angry with them for their cheerfulness. They didn't know what day it was. They couldn't be blamed.
"Lucy is not feeling well today," Minerva said with a sigh. "She will not be going to school today, I'm sorry."
"Oh, is she alright?" Dorcas asked.
"She'll be fine but she's not feeling up to going down to the daycare either and it's not serious enough to bother Poppy in the Hospital Wing so would you two mind staying here with her," Minerva asked. "I know I'm already asking a lot of you both but I have to go teach and I can't leave her here alone."
"Of course," Remus said quickly. "Of course we'll stay here with her. I mean we'd be staying with her all day anyways. It'll be nice not having to do it out in the cold."
"Yes, your office is a lot nicer than the outskirts of Lucy's school playground," Dorcas said with a smile.
"Thank you," Minerva said with a small smile, getting up from her desk. "Thank you both. I really appreciate it. You can stay in my sitting room." She pulled the torch on the wall. "It's just through there. There are a lot of books and some of Lucy's games. Help yourself to any of them. Lucy's in her room. If you need anything you can ask a House Elf. I asked Dotty to bring Lucy some breakfast but I'm not sure if she'll eat it. Maybe try talking to her. She might listen to you. I'll come back at lunch to see how she is."
"Alright," Dorcas said. "Have a nice day, Minerva."
"Bye, Minerva," Remus said.
Minerva said goodbye as Dorcas and Remus walked into her private rooms and then left her office to get to work. She wished she could just lay in bed all day too but she had work to do. Students to teach. Minds to mold. Time didn't stop for anyone. It kept moving and Minerva had to move with it.
...
"Minerva sent a message to me this morning. Lucy's not doing that great today either," Raj said quietly into the phone. He was sitting in his office at Collins Enterprises talking to Daniel. "I called her school to tell them that she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be coming to class today."
"Ah, poor kid," Daniel said with a sigh. "I wish we were up at Hogwarts now. I think we would all do better if we were together right now."
"I know, me too," Raj said with a sigh. "How are you doing, Daniel?"
"I'm okay. I decided not to go to class today either. Actually just got out of bed," he mumbled. "Nina's gone and I'm just laying on the couch."
"I'm glad you're taking a little bit of a rest," he said.
Daniel sighed. "I can't believe it's been a year."
"Neither can I," Raj said.
"Do you think it'll ever stop, Uncle Raj?" Daniel asked quietly. "Will this day ever stop being this day?"
"I don't know, bud," he said with a sigh. "All I know is that sometimes it take a little bit of work to keep going. I guess at the beginning you have to keep pushing yourself and forcing yourself to keep moving forward until it just becomes habit."
"Should I have gone to class today?"
"No, it's okay. It's still only been a year. It still feels really fresh."
"I'm glad tomorrow is a Saturday," he mumbled.
"You know what, I'll call Amelia," Raj said. "I'll have her pick us up and take us to Hogwarts for the weekend. I think it might be nice. For all of us."
"I just hope Amelia isn't too busy. I know they all have a lot of stuff on their plate right now."
"I know, but I don't think Amelia would mind," he said. "I think she'll understand."
"Okay," Daniel said. He sighed again. "I miss him so much."
"I miss him too, bud," Raj said with a sigh. "I miss him too."
...
"Never been in here before," Remus said, sitting down on the couch in Minerva's sitting room. "I knew it was here and we tried to get in multiple times of course but we never made it past her security charms."
Dorcas laughed. "How did you know it was here?"
"Minerva accidentally showed James and Sirius after she caught them stuffing cats in her office. She was putting Lucy down for a nap so they saw that it was there and how to get in," Remus said. "However, after she caught them in her office she secured it pretty tight. We weren't able to get in after that."
Dorcas smiled. "Well," she said. "You're here now. Is it everything you had dreamed it would be?"
"I don't know what I expected," he said with a laugh. "Well, should we check on Lucy? Let her know we're here if she needs anything and make sure she's eaten breakfast."
"Yes," Dorcas said with a nod. She and Remus walked towards the hallway and looked at the three doors. "Which one is it?"
"Don't know," he said. He walked up to the one on the left side of the hall and opened it. It was just a bathroom. He walked across the hall to the room across from it and opened the door. He looked inside and then back at Dorcas. "Found it."
He and Dorcas went inside and Remus said, "hey, Lucy. Your mum asked Dorcas and I to stay with you while she went to teach. How do you feel?"
Lucy looked up at the door and shrugged. Dorcas noticed the untouched breakfast tray on her bedside table and sighed. "You didn't eat anything?"
"Not hungry," Lucy muttered, looking away.
"It might help you feel a little bit better to eat a bit," Remus said, walking towards the bed. Dorcas followed and picked the tray up from the table. She sat down beside Lucy on the bed.
"Look at all this," she said with a smile. "You can have your pick of whatever you like. Pancakes, waffles, cereal, bacon and eggs. Whatever you like."
Lucy shook her head.
"Why don't you try to sit up at least," Remus said. "Do you feel like you're gonna throw up? Should we get a bag just in case?"
Lucy shook her head again. They waited a second and finally she pushed herself up a bit. Remus fixed the pillows behind her so she would be more comfortable and Dorcas set the tray down in her lap. She picked up a bit of a pancake and tossed it in her mouth.
"It's pretty good," she said. "Would you like a piece of bacon, Remus? I'm sure Lucy won't mind."
"I'd love one, thank you," he said with a smile, taking the bacon from Dorcas. He tossed it in his mouth and then walked around to the other side of the bed so he could climb up too. "It sucks that you're not feeling well, Lucy, but we can still try to have a fun day. We can take advantage of this day off."
"Yes," Dorcas said with a smile. "We can play a game or something."
"I don't want to play a game," Lucy mumbled.
"Are you sick?" Remus asked. She didn't sound or look very sick.
She shook her head.
"How did you manage to convince your mother to give you the day off? That's incredible," Dorcas said with a laugh.
"It's the twenty seventh," Lucy whispered, looking away. Tears were filling her eyes again and she just wanted Remus and Dorcas to go away. She didn't want to talk to anyone right now. She wished her mother hadn't had to leave to teach.
"It is," Remus said with a frown. "What does that mean?"
Lucy sighed and covered her face with her hands. She brought her knees up to her chest and Dorcas quickly moved the tray of food so it wouldn't fall all over the bed. She set it back down on the table and looked at Lucy with concern. Lucy started sobbing and neither Dorcas nor Remus knew what to do. Dorcas looked at Remus, who just stared back at her with wide eyes. He was useless. Dorcas sighed and moved closer to Lucy, putting an arm around her and pulling her close.
"Hey, hey," she said softly. "It's okay. It's gonna be okay. Just tell me what's wrong. I'll try to make it better."
Lucy sniffed and wiped her eyes. She shook her head. "You can't," she whispered. "You can't make it better. Nobody can."
"Just tell us what's wrong, Lucy," Remus said, moving to her other side. "Maybe we can help in some way."
"Is it more stuff with the girls at school?" Dorcas asked.
Lucy shook her head. "N-no..." she whispered. "I... no... last year... last year... on this day my - my daddy died in the hospital."
"Oh..." Dorcas said quietly. That wasn't something she could fix. She sighed and hugged Lucy tightly. "Oh, Lucy, I'm so sorry."
Lucy didn't say anything. She leaned closer to Dorcas and Dorcas sighed. She looked up at Remus. Remus sighed too and put a hand on Lucy's shoulder. They sat there for a while until finally Lucy was cried out. She pulled away a little bit and wiped her cheeks. She hugged her knees to her chest.
"My daddy was a great person," she said quietly. "He always cared about everyone and loved everyone."
"He sounds like a great guy," Remus said with a small smile. "He was a businessman, right?"
Lucy nodded. "He was the CEO of Collins Enterprises," she said. "He built it all by himself and then hired other people to help him. Like Uncle Raj. They were friends and Daddy gave him the job because he thought that Uncle Raj would do a good job."
"That was really nice of him," Dorcas said with a smile. "Collins Enterprises makes cars, doesn't it?"
"Yeah," she said. "Daddy used to be a mechanic when he was younger. He would fix neighbour's cars to make money for school."
"Wow, really?" Dorcas asked.
Lucy nodded. "He and my dadi didn't have a lot of money," she said. "So he would fix cars to make some extra money for them."
"Dadi means grandmother in Hindi," Dorcas told Remus.
"Oh," he said. "I thought that nani meant grandmother."
"Nani means mother's mother and dadi means father's mother," Dorcas explained.
Lucy nodded. "My dadi came to England with my dado during the war because Dado was a soldier," she said. "He died in the war a little while after Daddy was born. They never got to meet."
"That's horrible," Remus said.
"War is horrible," Lucy mumbled.
"It is," Dorcas said with a sigh.
There was silence for a little while before Lucy spoke again. "Daddy liked fixing cars," she said. "He used to buy old cars and bring them home so he could fix them up in his free time. Mommy said that he always paid way too much money for the cars and she didn't like it when he came back into the house covered in oil and grease."
Dorcas smiled. "I can imagine."
"He used to run after her and try to touch her with his dirty hands," Lucy said with a little smile. "And she would yell at him."
Remus laughed. He couldn't imagine his old, strict Transfigurations Mistress running around with her husband.
"I would help him fix cars sometimes," she said. "Well, I would sit in the garage with him and hand him the tools he needed."
"That sounds nice," Dorcas said.
Lucy nodded. "I liked sitting with him," she said. "He taught me what to do and told me stories about when he was younger and about my dadi and I would tell him about my day."
Dorcas saw the tears fill her eyes again and put her arm back around her.
"I miss talking to him," she whispered. "I miss when he would come home and play with me. He was supposed to get better. Everyone said that he would and then he did and then he didn't again."
Dorcas held her close and rubbed her back as she started to cry again. Remus put a hand on her shoulder and they sat there for a very long time.
The door to Lucy's bedroom opened again and in walked Minerva. She saw them sitting on the bed and sighed. Lucy looked up at her and took her arms off Dorcas, reaching out for her mother instead. Minerva walked over and picked her up from Dorcas's lap. She looked at Dorcas and Remus apologetically.
"I'm very -"
"It's not a problem," Dorcas said, putting a hand up to stop her. She motioned to the bed. "Would you like to sit down?"
Minerva gave her a little smiled and sat down on the bed, setting Lucy down in her lap. Lucy hugged her tightly and Minerva wrapped her arms around her.
"Have you eaten anything?" she asked her daughter.
Lucy didn't say anything so Minerva looked up at Dorcas and Remus who both shook their heads. Minerva sighed again.
"I'll have Dotty bring lunch," Remus said, getting up. He walked around the bed and picked up the breakfast tray so he could have the Elf take it away from them. "Anything specific you want?"
"Whatever they're serving downstairs today," Minerva said softly. "I don't particularly care."
He nodded and walked out of the room. Dorcas looked over at Minerva and Lucy and sighed. She put a hand on Lucy's back. "I'm very sorry," she said, looking at Minerva. "I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now."
"Thank you, Dorcas," Minerva said, giving her a small smile.
Remus came back with lunch and set the tray down on the bed between the four of them. Minerva put Lucy down beside her and tried to get her to eat but Lucy wouldn't eat very much, saying that she wasn't hungry. Minerva had a free period right after lunch so she was able to stay a little longer. Remus and Dorcas decided to go into the sitting room and give them some privacy.
Minerva sat back on Lucy's bed, leaning on the headboard. Lucy laid beside her with her head in her mother lap. Minerva drank her coffee and ran her fingers through Lucy's hair.
"Will it always be this hard?" Lucy asked quietly.
"I don't think so," Minerva said. "I think in time we will learn to keep going on hard days like today."
"Can I tell you about the day he died?" she asked.
"Of course," Minerva said, "but only if you want to. If it's hard to talk about it you don't have to."
Lucy thought about it for a second, wrapped her arms around Minerva's leg tightly. "I think I want too," she whispered. "I used to have nightmares about it every night."
Minerva sighed and put a hand on Lucy's head.
"It was a Thursday," she whispered, "but we didn't go to school like all week because the doctors thought that he wasn't going to... make it much longer. Uncle Raj was there too. We were all standing around his bed. He told us that he was proud of us. He told Daniel that his mum would be proud of him and asked him to take care of me for him."
Minerva felt the tears in her eyes. She set her coffee down on the table and pulled Lucy closer to her. Lucy sat up and hugged Minerva's chest. She didn't look at her when she spoke.
"He said that Nina was an amazing young woman and that Daniel should keep her around."
"She is an amazing young woman."
Lucy nodded. "He asked Uncle Raj to take care of us and said thank you to him for everything he did for us."
"Your Uncle Raj kept that promise, didn't he?" Minerva whispered, running her fingers through her hair.
Lucy nodded again. "Uncle Raj is always taking care of us."
"He is."
"Daddy talked about you too," she whispered.
"Did he?" Minerva asked with a little smile. The tears were overflowing onto her cheeks now and she wiped them away quickly.
Lucy nodded. "He said you would come back and that we just had to take care of each other until then," she said. "He said that when you come back we should tell you that he said he missed you and he loved you and he was sorry that he couldn't see you one last time before he had to go."
The tears streamed down Minerva face now and she didn't even try to stop them. There was no use. She loved that man so much. "I... I miss him and l-love him too."
Lucy looked up at her and saw that she was crying. She got up in her knees, reached up and wiped the tears off Minerva's cheeks with her little fingers. Minerva gave her a sad little smiled, arms still wrapped tightly around her. She rested her forehead on Lucy's.
"I miss him and love him too," Lucy whispered. "I wish you got to see him before he died."
"Me too," Minerva whispered.
"He told me I was smart and beautiful and that I would do great things and that I had to do them even if he wasn't there to see me do them," she said.
"He's right," Minerva whispered. "He's always right."
"He said that some people search their whole lives for a little bit of magic but I have all that magic inside me and he knew that with it I will do such great things," she continued. "Daniel too. He said that even though Daniel couldn't do magic, he had magic inside of him."
"Daniel does. So, so much magic," Minerva whispered. Lucy rested her head on Minerva's shoulder and Minerva put a hand on the back of her head. "He is so good. So, so good."
"Daddy said that I should always remember that I'm destined for greatness."
Minerva smiled. "You are."
"But I don't know how to be great."
"You're already great, Lucy," she said softly. "So, so great and I'm so proud of you. And he would be too."
"Do you wanna know the very last thing he did before he died?" Lucy asked.
Minerva nodded.
"He apologized. He said he was sorry," Lucy whispered. "He said, 'I think I may have to go soon, my darlings. Will you forgive me for leaving?'"
Of course he did, Minerva thought. Of course the last thing Jay Collins would do would be apologize for dying. Minerva couldn't help it, she let out a sob. Lucy hugged her tighter and Minerva did the same. They sat there and cried for a very long time before Minerva finally called Dorcas in and told her to spread the word that the rest of her classes for the day would be cancelled. Her students were to go to study hall instead. Dorcas took one look at Minerva tear stained face, nodded, and quickly left the room. Minerva need to take the rest of the day off. She needed to be here with her daughter. She could deal with everything else later.