Times Like These

by zzainishh

The war was getting worse and worse. The target on her back ever increasing due to her work on the Order of the Phoenix and her Professorship at Hogwarts, Minerva McGonagall decided that leaving home was the safest option for her family. Two excruciating years go by and she receives some horrifying news that brings her home right away. (Set during the First Wizard War)

28. TLT -- 28

July 1997

"Hello?"

"Hello, Daniel, it's Raj."

"Oh, hey, Uncle Raj. What's up?" Daniel said. He was a little disappointed that it hadn't been his father. Jay was very late and Daniel was starting to get a little worried.

"Bud, this is nothing to be alarmed about but your dad is in the hospital right now. He was having trouble breathing so we brought him to Victoria Hospital and now they want to keep him overnight just to make sure everything is alright," Raj said.

"What? Overnight? Why?" Daniel asked.

"Like I said, no need to worry. He had some tests. The results will come in tomorrow. They just want to keep him till then."

"Well, Lucy and I are coming then. We should be there in about an hour."

"No, no. Stay in Rochester," Raj said. "Your father doesn't want you to trouble yourself. Just stay home, he'll be back tomorrow."

"No, we're coming," Daniel said forcefully. He wasn't going to let his father spend the night in the hospital all alone. "We'll see you soon, Uncle Raj."

"Alright, Daniel," he said and Daniel could hear the smile in his voice. "I'll let your father know. He's not going to be very happy."

"Ah, he'll get over it once we get there," Daniel said with a smile.

Raj laughed. They said their goodbyes and hung up the phone. Daniel looked over at Lucy who was still watching him.

"What's happened?" she asked with a worried look on his face.

"Dad's in the hospital. They had to do some test," he said, walking back over to the table and picking up their plates before heading back to the kitchen to put them away. "They have to keep him overnight until the results from his test come back tomorrow."

"Is - is he okay?" Lucy asked quietly.

Daniel looked up at her. "I'm not sure, kid," he said honestly, "but Uncle Raj is there and he said that we shouldn't worry."

Lucy didn't seem very convinced.

"Just go put on your shoes and coat. It'll be okay," Daniel said as he put their plates away in the dishwasher. "We're going to go to Victoria Hospital to see him."

Lucy stared at him for a second, a really bad feeling in the pit of her stomach, before finally running off for the entrance. She put on her shoes and coat and Daniel came moments late to do the same. He grabbed his keys and the two of them headed out. They didn't talk much through the drive. Lucy's mind was in overdrive thinking about what could have happened. Terrible scenarios played out in her head. Car crashes, getting shot in an alley, poisoned food, falling out a window. Lucy did her best to push those thoughts out of her mind but they kept coming back. By the time they pulled into the Victoria Hospital parking lot, she was on the verge of tears.

Daniel got out of the car quickly and waited for her. She took his hand and they ran to the front desk. The woman told them that their father was on the third floor in room fourteen. Daniel pulled Lucy towards an elevator and took her upstairs. They made it to the door and walked in.

All the worry that Lucy felt lessened when she looked into the room and saw her father sitting on the bed wearing a hospital gown looking absolutely fine. Raj was sitting in a chair beside him and smiled when the children walked in.

"Daddy! What happened? You scared me!" Lucy exclaimed, running towards him and climbing onto the bed.

Jay laughed as Lucy collided into his chest and hugged him tightly. He hugged her back. "I'm okay. I'm sorry for scaring you."

"Hey, Dad. Hey, Uncle Raj," Daniel said, walking over as well and sitting down on the foot of the bed. "What's going on? You were having breathing problems?"

"I was," Jay says with a nod, smile fading away. "I came here and they did some tests. The results will be back tomorrow but they said that I had to stay here for the night. You two really didn't have to come all the way down here."

"I told them to stay put but your children don't listen, Jay. What can I say?" Raj said with a smile.

"Nobody told me what was going on!" Lucy said with a frown. "I thought you might have gotten shot in an alleyway!"

"Shot in an alleyway? Where would you get an idea like that?" Jay said with a laugh.

Daniel smiled. "Like Batman's parents, right Lucy?"

"Yeah," Lucy replied, blushing a little bit. Jay laughed and pulled her into another hug.

Raj laughed too. "Well, your dad hasn't been shot," he said. "You don't have to worry about that."

"Yes," Jay said with a smile. "Don't worry, Kitten. I'm okay."

"Are you sure you're okay, Dad?" Daniel asked, still a little worried. Trouble breathing was a serious issue. "Are you still having problems breathing? Did they give you something?"

"No, I'm fine now. They had me take some inhalers. It'll be fine, bud, don't worry," he said though this did not make Daniel's worry subside. "You both should go back home."

"No," Lucy said. "We're going to stay with you! Right, Daniel?"

Daniel smiled. "Yeah," he said. "I'm sure my friends will understand that I won't be able to hang out."

"Anne won't mind," Lucy said with a smile. "She's very nice."

"We'll stay," Daniel said with an air of finality. "That way we'll be here when your results come back."

"There really isn't -"

"And then tomorrow we can all go home together!" Lucy said. She looked over at Raj. "Uncle Raj can come too! Will you come with us, please Uncle?"

"Of course," he said with a smile. He looked over at his friend. "I think you're out voted, Jay."

"It seems I am," he said with a shake of his head though he was smiling. "As I no longer have a say on the matter, you both can stay."

Lucy laughed. "Maybe we should have brought some games or something to do while we're here."

"I saw a gift shop on the main floor," Daniel said. "You could probably find a deck of cards or something there."

"There's also a television," Jay said, motioning at a screen a little ways away. "If you want to watch something. Oh, have you two had dinner?"

"Yeah, we just ate when Uncle Raj call," Daniel said. "So, what do you want to do, Lucy? Cards or tv?"

"Let's play cards!" Lucy said.

"Okay, I'll go buy a deck," Daniel said. "Have you eaten yet, Dad? I could buy you something from the cafeteria while I'm down there."

"No, I've eaten. Thank you though, Daniel," he said with a smile.

"Alright, I'll be right back," he said as he walked towards the door.

When he was gone, Raj motioned for Lucy to come over. She climbed off the bed and he picked her up into his lap, giving her a hug.

"So, how was her highness's day today?" he asked.

"It was okay," Lucy said. "I went to Anne's house and we went to the park."

"That sounds fun," Raj said with a smile.

Lucy nodded before sighing and leaning her head back on Raj's chest. "I don't like hospitals."

"Nor do I," Jay said.

"I don't think anyone really likes them," Raj said, giving Lucy a little squeeze. "It'll be okay."

"Yes, we'll be out of here tomorrow," Jay said with a smile.

"Maybe tomorrow when your father gets out of the hospital we can all do something fun here in London," Raj said.

"Yeah!" Lucy said happily. "Can we, Daddy?"

"Of course, Kitten," Jay said with a smile. "What would you like to do?"

"Hmm," she mumbled thoughtfully. She looked up at her uncle for help.

"Maybe we could go to Buckingham Palace," he suggested.

"Yeah! And we can see where real princesses live!" Lucy said excitedly.

Raj laughed. "What do you mean real princesses?" he asked. "I'm looking at a real princess right now!"

"I'm not a real real princess," Lucy said with a giggle. "I'm just Lucy."

"Well, just Lucy, I think that you're more than that," Raj said.

"Definitely more than that," Jay said with a smile.

"I don't know about that," Lucy said with a laugh.

Daniel came back a little while later with a deck of cards in hand. Lucy moved back to sit on the bed next to her father and they started their game. They played cards for a while before Lucy started getting very tired. Her eyelids drooped but she did her best to keep herself awake. Jay saw her head lean forward a bit before suddenly flinging back up.

"I think it's time for bed," he said, putting down the cards in his hand.

"No, I'm not tired," she said looking down at her cards. "Do you have any twos?"

"Lucy," Jay said, pulling her close and picking her up into his arms. He took her cards from her and held them and his own out towards Daniel.

Daniel took the cards from his father and added them and his own back to the deck. Raj also handed his own hand over and looked at his watch.

"It is quite late," he said.

Lucy sighed but wrapped her arms around Jay's neck and closed her eyes. Jay smiled and kissed her cheek, rocking her gently.

"You should head home, Raj," he said quietly, looking over at his friend. "Thank you for everything today."

"Are you sure?" Raj asked. "I can stay the night if you'd like."

"No, no. You don't have to do that," Jay said.

"Alright," Raj said getting up. "But I'll be back early tomorrow morning to make sure everything's okay."

Jay agreed and Raj said his goodbyes before heading for the door. Jay set the now sleeping Lucy gently down beside him on the bed and pulled the blankets over her. He looked back at Daniel and sighed.

"Are you going to be okay on a chair? I wish the bed was bigger," he said. "Maybe we can ask them to bring another bed in."

"I'll be fine," Daniel said, a little absentmindedly. He looked at Lucy to make sure she was fast asleep before turning back to his father. "While I was out buying the cards, I talked to some of the nurses."

Jay closed his eyes and shook his head. "They probably made it sound a lot worse than it actually was."

"They said you came here in an ambulance," he said, furrowing his brow. "You didn't tell us that part. When you said breathing problems I didn't think you meant that you stopped breathing all together and collapsed in a meeting."

"It wasn't that bad, Daniel. You don't have to worry about it right now."

"Dad, they're testing you for something called cystic fibrosis," Daniel continued forcefully, wanting his father to take this seriously. "If you have it you might need to stay in the hospital and wait to get a lung transplant!"

"I know," he said, looking down at Lucy and sighing again. "Daniel, if that happens... I'm most likely going to need you to take on more responsibility at home. I know you're already doing a lot, picking up Lucy from school, putting off going out with friends until I get home so that there's always someone to look after her... but..."

"I can handle it," Daniel said. "Don't worry about that. Just focus on getting better."

Jay smiled. "Thank you, jaanu."

...

Lucy was awoken by strange sounds coming from beside her on the bed. She rubbed her eyes and looked over to see what it was. Jay was lying asleep beside her but his breathing was coming out very strange. It sounded very difficult and forced.

"Daddy! Wake up!" she exclaimed in a very scared voice but he didn't wake up. She shook him. "Please wake up!"

Again he didn't wake up. Lucy looked around and saw Daniel asleep on a hospital chair. "Daniel! Daniel, wake up!" she called as she moved and found the call button for the nurse. She pressed it while Daniel opened his eyes and looked around groggily. "Daniel, something's wrong!"

Daniel stood up quickly as the door opened and nurses flooded in. He grabbed Lucy and pulled her off the bed so that the nurses could do their job. He moved to the corner of the room, Lucy in his arms. One of the nurses came over.

"The doctor has been called. He'll be here soon," she said. "You should wait outside in the waiting room until he gets here."

"But -"

"No, Lucy," Daniel said, taking one last look at his father before turning to leave the room. "We need to give the nurses space to work."

Lucy stared at her father on the bed for as long as she could before Daniel turned the corner, pulling her out of view. They sat down in the waiting room chairs. Daniel told her to go back to sleep but she didn't want to sleep anymore. She wanted to wait and make sure Jay was okay first before she could sleep.

Eventually though, she was too tired to stay awake. She fell asleep in the chair. Daniel put his coat over her like a blanket and waited for news. The doctor finally came while Lucy was still sleeping. Quietly, as not to wake the sleeping girl, Dr. Gardner told Daniel that Jay was fine now. He had a fluid buildup in his lungs but they were able to treat it successfully. They were doing some more tests but by the looks of it Jay was not going to be able to go home anytime soon. He would be moved to the ICU until further notice.

When the doctor left, Daniel flopped back down in his seat and put his head in his hands. He cried for what felt like hours. He didn't know what they were going to do. He needed his dad to be okay and to come home. He didn't know how to deal with hospitals and doctors. He didn't know how to take care of a little girl. He looked over at Lucy, who was thankfully still asleep. He wiped his eyes and sighed. He had to pull himself together and be strong, at least for right now. He had to be strong for his sister, for his father, and for himself.

Daniel pushed himself up out of his chair so he could walk over to the phone nearby. He picked it up and started dialing. The phone rang a few times before a very groggy voice came through the other end.

"Hello?"

"Uncle Raj, it's Daniel," he said after taking a deep breath to calm himself a bit.

"Daniel? What is it? Is everything okay?" Raj said, suddenly sounding a lot more awake. He knew that if Daniel was calling him this late at night, it couldn't mean anything good.

"No," Daniel mumbled. "Dad... he - he had fluid build up in his lungs and now he has to stay in the ICU and he won't be able to go home anytime soon."

"Oh god," Raj said. "Alright, I'm on my way, bud. I'll be there soon, okay? Are you and Lucy still in the hospital? Where is she?"

"Yeah, we're still here," he said. "Lucy fell asleep while we were waiting for news. I still haven't told her what's going on. I just found out."

"Okay, I'm coming. Just sit tight, bud. Maybe try to get some sleep as well."

Daniel and Raj said goodbye before hanging up. Daniel looked back at Lucy to make sure that she hadn't woken up yet. She was still sound asleep thankfully. He walked over and sat back down next to her, leaning back in his chair and shutting his eyes. He tried to get some rest like Raj had told him but he just couldn't. He was still worried about his father. He just wanted to see him but they wouldn't let him.

Raj arrived with breakfast for the three of them. He sat down next to Daniel, gave him a hug, and told him that it was going to be okay. Daniel told him everything the doctors had told him and Raj made him eat some breakfast.

Lucy woke up a little while later. She looked around confused for a second before remembering where she was. She saw Daniel sitting beside her talking quietly to Raj. She reached out and pulled his sleeve. "D-Daniel?"

He looked over at her and gave her a small smile. "You're awake. Hey."

"What happened? Is Dad okay?" she said a little frantically. "I didn't mean to fall asleep, I'm sorry."

"Don't worry, Princess," Raj said soothingly. "He's okay."

Daniel took his sister's hand and gave it a little squeeze. "Yeah, Dad's okay now," he said quietly, voice refusing to go past a certain volume, "but they need to do some more tests so we'll have to wait to see him. He's been moved to the sixth floor though. Uncle Raj brought breakfast. We can eat and then go up and wait up there, okay?"

She looked at him for a minute, still in a sleepy daze, before nodding her head. She got up and walked around Daniel towards her uncle. Raj gave her a small smile and picked her up.

"It'll be okay, love," he said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. He rubbed small circles on her back to try and calm her a little bit.

"It was so scary," she whispered. "He wouldn't wake up."

"I know, I know but he's okay now," Raj said. "And when he's feeling a little better we can go see him." He looked over at Daniel. "He'll be okay. Just give it some time."

Daniel nodded a little bit. Lucy let go of Raj and he handed her a breakfast sandwich. They ate for a while before going up the elevator to the sixth floor and sitting down in the waiting room up there.

Time passed very slowly with still no word on how their father was doing. Soon it was lunchtime and then dinner time. Finally Raj got up to see what was going on. Daniel went too, despite Raj's protests, leaving Lucy to sit alone in her chair and wait. She was leaning forwards slightly looking at the ground and clutching the seat of the chair in her tiny fists. Her feet didn't make it to the ground so she was swinging them back and forth while she waited for her brother and uncle to return. There was no one else in the waiting room other than her. Occasionally a nurse or doctor would pass by but none of them gave Lucy any attention. Too busy doing their jobs to worry about a little girl sitting in the waiting room.

Finally Daniel came back. He walked over to Lucy and sat down. Lucy didn't look at him. She kept staring at the floor in front of her as she asked, "Is he gonna be okay?"

Daniel looked at her for a moment. He was only eighteen now and he had already taken on so much more responsibility since Minerva had left. He dropped off and picked up Lucy from school or ballet or Anne's. He looked after her when they were alone before their father came home. He didn't get to go anywhere or see his friends until their father got home from work because she was still too young to be left home alone. He didn't care though, he honestly didn't. He understood his responsibility as an older brother and he liked helping out his dad but sometimes... sometimes he just wanted to go out and hang out with his friends. Sometimes he wished that they could have a normal family. A family with a mom that would look after Lucy while Daniel acted like an actual teenager. Now they were moving even further away from normal. The doctors had told him that his father may have to stay in hospital for a while and even then they weren't sure how long he actually had. If something happened to Jay, he... he didn't know what they would do.

"I don't know," he said quietly. "Uncle Raj is talking to the doctors. He said he'll try to get them to let us see Dad."

She didn't say anything but she reached over and took his hand. He sighed and gave her hand a squeeze. She leaned into him and he let go of her hand so he could put an arm around her instead. They sat there waiting for a while before finally Raj came back.

"I talked to the doctors," he said, walking over. He picked Lucy up, grabbed Daniel's coat from the chair, and handed it to him. "Jay's going to have to stay here a while but we can go see him now. I also called Maria. She's going to book a hotel for the two of you so that you can stay in London too. She'll get a hotel near the hospital. Daniel, your car is here, isn't it?"

Daniel nodded. He was standing now as well.

"After we talk to Jay, you and Lucy go home, stay the night there and then tomorrow pack up your things. Maria will have the hotel booked for tomorrow and you two can drop off your bags before coming back here."

Daniel nodded again, still not able to speak. Raj then turned and motioned for Daniel to follow. They walked through the cold, white hospital hallways until finally they reached Jay's room. They walked through the door and Raj put Lucy down. Lucy turned and looked over at her father lying on the bed and suddenly felt the weight of everything on her chest. She saw the wires that connected from him to the heart monitor and the IV drips. He looked so much weaker than he had ever looked before. She had never seen him like this before. She felt tears in her eyes. Lucy ran over to her father's bedside.

"Daddy?" she whispered.

He looked at her and gave her a small smile, reaching out a hand and cupping her cheek. "Hello, jaanu," he said quietly, sounding a little hoarse. "Don't worry, I'm okay."

He didn't look okay. Lucy didn't believe that he was okay. Daniel didn't believe it either. He walked over to the bedside and Jay gave him a little smile too.

"It seems I may have to stay here for a little while," he said quietly. "I'm sorry. We won't be able to go to Buckingham Palace today."

"I don't care about that," Lucy said.

"Yeah, just try to rest, Dad," Daniel said. "Get better soon."

"When will you be able to come home?" Lucy whispered, tears overflowing now. She did her best not to look at the wires and the monitors. She looked down at her hands. "I want to go home, Daddy. When can we go home?"

"I don't know, love," he said with a sigh. "But you and Daniel should go ho-"

"I want you to come with us!"

"I know, darling, I know," Jay said. "But right now I have to stay here."

Raj told Jay everything that he had told Lucy and Daniel and Jay nodded, agreeing that a hotel was probably the best idea. They talked for a while before Raj put a hand on Daniel's shoulder and said, "why don't we give your father and sister a minute while we go talk in the hallway."

Daniel looked at him for a second before nodding. Lucy looked up at him a little worried but he gave her a small smile and told her he'd just be a minute. Lucy watched them leave the room before turning back to her father, leaning against his bed and taking his hand with both of her little ones.

"Daddy, I don't want you to have to stay here," she whispered. "I want you to come home with us!"

"I know, my love," Jay said, putting a hand on her cheek. "But listen, I'm going to try really hard and get better so I can come home as soon as possible, okay?"

"Okay," Lucy said.

"That's what you did for me so I'm going to do it for you," he said with a smile.

"I did that?" Lucy asked.

He nodded. "When you were born, you were born early, and you had to stay in the hospital," he said, motioning for her to climb up on the bed. She did and he put an arm around her. "We were all so worried. Me, your mommy, Daniel. Everyone. We were all worried but you fought hard to get better and you did. Then we finally got to bring you home."

"So I fought hard?" Lucy asked.

"Yes, you were so strong and we were so proud of you," he said with a smile.

"And you're going to fight hard too!" she said with a smile. "You're very strong too, Daddy."

Jay smiled. "I will try my best, my darling."

She got up on her knees and hugged him, kissing his cheek. "Please just get better soon," she whispered. "I just want to bring you home too."

He kissed her too and hugged her tightly. "You're such a wonderful little girl, Lucy," he said. "I want to be home with you and Daniel so much. I just have to spend a little bit of time here so that I'll be able to do that."

Lucy rested her head on Jay's shoulder, closed her eyes, and just hugged him tightly. She never wanted to let go.

"While I'm here, I want you to listen to your brother and your Uncle Raj, okay?" Jay said.

"Okay," Lucy said.

"Raj will take care of you both, I know he will," he continued. "He's a fixer."

"What does that mean?" Lucy asked.

"It means when he sees a problem he has to try and fix," he replied. "He'll always do his best to fix any situation. Even if it's largely out of his control."

...

Out in the hallway Daniel and Raj stood opposite each other. Daniel crossed his arms and tried his best to avoid his uncle's gaze.

"Don't worry about all the medical stuff, bud," Raj said. "I'll handle it all that. If you can just make sure that Lucy is okay, that would be a great help to both me and Jay."

"I can do the medical stuff too," Daniel said, looking up at Raj with a frown. "I can handle everything. I don't need help."

"Daniel," Raj said softly. "You don't have to do everything."

"I - I do. He's my dad. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that he's okay," Daniel said. "I'm going to drop out of Harvard. I'll take a year off, I guess, and take care of Lucy and Dad."

"Daniel. Your father wouldn't want that."

"I can't go to America now, Uncle Raj," Daniel said sadly.

"Listen, let me help you," he said, reaching out and taking Daniel's arms. "You don't have to do everything alone. The medical and insurance stuff can get a little confusing, I can help you get through it all. Maria can help too. She can make sure you get everything you need, hotel rooms, groceries, everything. You have her number too, right?"

Daniel nodded.

"Good," Raj said. "Now, you may not be able to go to Harvard this year but you don't have to take the year off. Jay wouldn't want that."

"But all the deadlines for everything else have past," Daniel said.

"I have some connections down at the University of Kent. It's no Harvard but it's still a good school and it's not too far from Rochester," Raj replied. "I'll call them. They can set up a meeting with you and the Dean of Admissions. If you explain the circumstances, I'm sure he'll make an exception for you. You can do a year of business there and then hopefully Jay gets better and if you'd like, you can transfer over to Harvard the year after. Does that sound okay?"

Daniel thought about this for a second before finally nodding his head. "Okay," he said. "Thank you, Uncle Raj."

"Of course, bud," Raj said with a small smile. "Like I said. You don't have to do all this alone. If you need anything, anything at all, you call me or Maria, okay? We are always willing to help. I'll take care of anything that may come up at Collins Enterprises and help with the doctors and anything else you might need, alright?"

Daniel nodded his head and thanked Raj again.

Raj smiled. "Now, get going. It'll be quite late by the time you get back to Rochester," he said. "Maria will call you in the morning."

"Alright," Daniel said with a nod.

They went back inside, talked with Jay for a minute longer before heading out again. Raj picked Lucy up and carried her down to the parking lot. He was just walking them down to the car and then he would go back up and stay with Jay for a little while longer. When they made it to the car, he put Lucy down and opened the backdoor for her. She hopped in and he helped her put her seatbelt on.

"Goodbye, Uncle Raj," Daniel said, giving his uncle a quick hug before opening the driver's side door and getting in. "Thank you for everything."

"Of course. Anytime either of you need anything you just call me," he said with a smile. He looked over at Lucy. "That's you too, Princess, okay?"

"Okay," Lucy said softly, giving him a little wave. "Bye bye, Uncle Raj."

"Goodbye, darling," he said before closing her door. He looked back at his godson and smiled. "Goodbye, Daniel. Drive safe."

Daniel nodded. "Goodbye," he said. He closed the door and started the engine. He pulled out of the parking lot and got on to the highway so that they could drive home. Daniel looked at Lucy through the rearview mirror and gave her a little smile.

"It'll be okay, kid," he said. "Dad will be okay."

Lucy didn't say anything. She turned and looked out the window, not wanting Daniel to see her cry. It felt like one by one everyone was leaving her. Her mother was gone, she hadn't seen her grandmother or aunts and uncles in a long time, and now her father had to stay in the hospital in London. Everything was getting worse. Nothing was getting better and it didn't feel like it was going to be okay. All she wanted was for everything to be okay but it didn't feel like that was going to happen anytime soon.

---

Tuesday, July 6th 1999

"I've told you what I think," Daniel said angrily. "You don't want to hear it so stop asking me to tell you again!"

"I'm trying to have an adult conversation with you!" Nina said, sounding like she was trying very hard to keep her voice at a normal volume. It wasn't working well. "Why can't you just talk to me like an adult? Why do you have to act so -"

"Alright, that's enough," Isobel said, crossing her arms and furrowing her brow at them. "You two need to calm down. We have bigger things to worry about right now. What we will do when Lucy wakes up is something we can discuss when the time comes."

Daniel looked at her and then down at Lucy. His anger bubbled inside him as he saw the state of his sister. "I want to find out who did this," he said dangerously. "I want them found and I want them to pay!"

"Daniel," Minerva said softly. "Please try to -"

"No," he said. "It's been two weeks and she still hasn't woken up! She looks horrible and she still isn't breathing properly! Nothing they do is working and I want to know who the motherfucker was that did this to her!"

"Again, adult conversa-"

"Shut up, Nina!" Daniel yelled. "My baby sister is dying and all you fucking care about is having an adult conversation!"

"She's not dying," Isobel said quickly. "She's going to wake up. She's going to be okay."

"Horace and Poppy are working very hard to find the antidote," Minerva said. "They'll find one and she'll be okay."

"And what if they don't?!" Daniel yelled. "What if... what if they don't..." Suddenly tears filled his eyes. "I can't... I can't do this again... she's not even awake... I can't..."

"Daniel," Nina said softly, anger fading away. She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "This isn't the same thing. You heard Uncle Raj. This isn't the same thing."

"It's not," Minerva said forcefully. "This is not the end, Daniel. It's not like -"

"Shut up," Daniel said, anger returning as tears fell down his cheeks. "You don't even know! You weren't there! How could you know that this isn't the same thing?!"

"Daniel," Isobel said. "I know you're angry but -"

"I don't want to hear it," he said. He looked at Lucy and shook his head. "I need to not be here right now. I need... I need to go... find me when Uncle Raj gets back."

With that he went through the curtains and raced out of the Hospital Wing. It just felt too similar and he couldn't do it again. Nina sighed and shook her head. She looked back at Minerva and Isobel with an apologetic look.

"He doesn't mean that," she said softly. "He's just upset so he's saying things he doesn't mean. It's just really hard... this feels too similar to last time."

Minerva took a deep, shaky breath and buried her face in her hands. She knew Daniel was just angry but his words still hurt. Isobel sighed and put an arm around her. Nina sighed again too and looked back out at the curtain Daniel had just gone through.

"I should go after him," she whispered. She didn't wait for a response. She walked through the curtain and headed out of the Hospital Wing too.

Isobel pulled Minerva closer and hugged her tightly. "This isn't the same," she whispered. "They are going to save her. He didn't mean what he said. Daniel will cool off and he'll feel horrible for what he said, you know he will."

Minerva nodded a little bit into her mother's chest. Isobel looked down at Lucy and really hoped that she woke up soon. She hoped all the children did. She was sure when they did tensions would ease and everyone would be able to relax.

Eventually Minerva calmed down a bit. She pulled away from her mother and wiped the tears away from her cheeks. She looked down at Lucy, fixed some blankets on her bed and brushed some hair away from her face before turning to her papers to get some work done. Isobel watched her and suggested she take a break but Minerva refused. She had a lot of work to do and she didn't have time for breaks.

She worked for a while and eventually Isobel got up to go take a nap in an actual bed. She was too old to be sleeping on uncomfortable Hogwarts chairs every night. Minerva told her that she could use her bedroom. Daniel and Nina still hadn't come back and Isobel was beginning to worry about where they may have wound up. She would take a quick look around before heading to bed.

A little while after Isobel left the curtains moved again and in walked Raj with his briefcase in his hand. He looked at her and gave her a little smile. "All alone today?"

Minerva sighed. "Daniel and Nina had another fight and then Daniel burst into tears, convinced Lucy wasn't going to wake up," she said. "Mother and I tried to tell him that this wasn't the same as last time but he told us that we couldn't possibly know because we weren't there."

Raj sighed and set his briefcase down. He pulled a chair over to her and sat down. "He doesn't mean that," he said. "Daniel's forgiven you. He's just under a lot of pressure again and his mind keeps wandering back to that."

"I know," Minerva said a sigh. "I know."

"He'll be okay."

"I know."

Raj gave her a little smiled and then pulled his chair up closer to the bed. He took Lucy's hand and smiled at her. "Hello, Princess," he said. "Just got in, hope you didn't miss me too much while I was gone. Work's been pretty busy, you know, but I refused to work late so I could come see you of course."

Minerva smiled a little as she watched Raj talk to Lucy about his day. She was glad he was here. Talking to Lucy like this, holding her hand, keeping her in the loop made Minerva feel a little bit better. It was one thing to say that you hope that things will get better and another to show that you knew they would. Raj was good at showing her that things would get better. He helped Minerva believe herself that things would get better.

"Oh, you know who called me today?" Raj said. "Anne Linwood. She said that you said that she could call me if she wanted to get a message to you at Hogwarts. I guess you must have told her about everything."

"Took a lot more time than I thought it would," Minerva said with a little smile.

"I agree," Raj said with a laugh, looking back at her. "Maybe Lucy's getting better at keeping a secret."

"Maybe," Minerva said, though she didn't think that was very true.

Raj turned back to Lucy. "So, anyways, she's been wondering where you were. Said that you said you'd come down to see her during the summer but she still didn't know when," he said. "I told her that you weren't feeling well and had to stay in the hospital for a little while but hopefully you'll be able to see her soon. She said to get well soon. She said she would send a get well soon card to Collins Enterprises for me to bring to you."

Minerva smiled. "That's very nice of her."

"Yes," Raj said with a nod. "I told her that I would make sure you got it. Other than the call from Anne, my day was pretty boring. Meetings, papers, you know how it is. Same old, same old. Thank you for listening, Lucy. I'm going to talk to your mother now, okay?"

He took her silence as a yes and pushed his chair back a little so that he could look at Minerva as well. "So, how was your day?"

"I've been here all day. Daniel and Nina stormed off a little after lunch and Mother went up for a nap. I'm getting a little worried about her. She's not getting enough sleep and her neck is starting to ache because of falling asleep on these chairs. She's taking a nap in my bed so hopefully she'll be okay soon as well," Minerva said. "Oh, Daniel wanted to speak to you. Asked to be told when you arrived."

Raj nodded. "I'll go find him in a minute," he said. "There was something I wanted to talk to you about though."

"Oh?"

"Has Amelia talked to you about Alastor Moody?"

Minerva sighed and nodded. "The Dorcas thing?"

He nodded.

"Yes," she said. "I've felt the same way whenever he talks about her. Did you know that he's also started talking about Lucy like that too? It makes me sick whenever he brings her up around me. I hate it so much but he doesn't seem to care."

"I know, Amelia told me," he said with a nod. "Have you told Albus? I'm just worried about him finding out about the prophecy and trying something stupid."

"I have not but I will talk to him. That's a good point," Minerva said. "Albus has no plans to tell anyone about the prophecy yet but I will ask he tell me when he plans to do that."

Raj nodded.

"That's all?" Minerva asked, a small smile gracing her lips. "That's the only thing about Alastor Moody that you wanted to talk about?"

"Well... yes," he said. "I didn't think there was anything else important about what Amelia told me about him."

"Nothing else?" Minerva asked. "Nothing else at all?"

"Nope," Raj said with a shake of his head. "I can't think of anything else."

"Alright," Minerva said. "Well, I can."

"I should really go find Daniel."

"He can wait another minute," Minerva said dismissively. "Something else important that I picked up in my conversation with Amelia about Alastor was that she was now realizing that he wasn't the greatest person."

"She may have mentioned that, yes," Raj said, a little uncomfortably. "I don't know why that is very important though."

"She's realizing he doesn't feel things for others the way that a lot of other people do," Minerva said. "For his co-workers. For his friends. For her."

Raj didn't say anything.

"Her crush is over, Raj," she said with a small smile. "She's over Alastor Moody, just like I said she would be. She doesn't love him. She loves you. She thinks that you are a much nicer and kinder person and she admires you a great deal for everything you've done."

"Minerva, you're reading too far -"

"No, I'm not," Minerva said. "I have eyes, Raj. I'm here while you two are. I can see the way you look at each other, the way you speak to each other, the way you have silent conversations with your eyes. I see it all."

"Uh huh."

"She said you acted strange on the call she told you about Alastor," she said. "That it sounded like you wanted to say something but then you did."

"Wow, okay. You two really do tell each other everything," Raj said with a shake of his head.

"Yes, everything," Minerva said with a smile. "I deduce that you wanted to tell her that you loved her but you didn't because you thought it was too soon."

"I deduce that you're crazy," he said. He looked over at Lucy. "I wonder if she can hear this conversation."

"God, I hope not," Minerva said with a little laugh. "Some of the language used around her bed hasn't been the most appropriate. Maybe talk to Daniel about that when you talk to him as well. I know she's asleep but he still shouldn't be using that kind of language around her."

Raj laughed and shook his head. He was not going to apprehend Daniel for using foul language. Daniel was an adult and at full liberty to use whatever words he needed to to express how he felt. He did, however, take this as an exit.

"I'll let him know," he said, getting up out of his seat and walking towards the curtains. "I'll go talk to him."

"And Amelia will be back tonight as always. You can talk -"

"Sorry, what? Can't hear you..." he said, playing around with the curtain. He could hear her absolutely fine, he wasn't out of the curtain yet.

"Raj."

"Soundproof curtains sorry... what was that? I'm gonna go..."

"Raj."

"Oh, was that a goodbye?"

"Raj."

"Bye, Minerva," he said, going through the curtain and closing it behind him.

Minerva shook her head. She looked back at Lucy and said, "Your uncle is a child."

...

Raj smiled to himself as he closed the curtain and walked out of the Hospital Wing. He wasn't exactly sure where to start looking for Daniel so he just decided to go in the direction of Gryffindor Tower. Maybe he was up in Minerva's office. He asked a few people but nobody knew where the boy had gotten off to.

Raj walked into Minerva's office to find nobody. He sighed and opened the secret door to look in the sitting room. He found Daniel and Nina sitting on the couch, faces pressed together. He raised an eyebrow at them.

"Ah hum," he said.

Nina opened her eyes and and saw him. Her eyes went wide and she pulled away from Daniel quickly, taking his hands away from her shirt. Daniel looked around and saw his uncle. His face went a little red and he rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably.

"Hey, Uncle Raj."

"So, it seems you two have gotten over your little spat. That's good," he said with a little smile. "Might I suggest doing so in non-common areas next time, however."

"Sorry," Nina said, looking down. Her cheeks were very red.

"That's alright," Raj said. "Ah, Daniel, Minerva said that you wanted to talk to me."

"Oh, yeah, I just wanted to know when you got here," Daniel said. "It's not a big deal, don't worry about it."

"Oh, well, I would like to talk to you," he said, walking towards the couch.

Nina stood up quickly. "I'll go check on Min and Lucy," she said. "And let you two have some privacy."

"Thank you, Nina," Raj said as he sat down in an armchair. Nina gave him a small smile and nodded before leaving the room quickly. When she was gone, Raj looked back at Daniel and gave him a little smile. "You realize Isobel is just in there, right?"

"What? Is she?" Daniel asked, looking towards Minerva's bedroom door.

"Yes. Wasn't feeling well so decided to have a little bit of a lie down," he said with a nod.

"Well, we weren't doing anything that bad," Daniel said, a sheepish smile coming onto his face. "Nothing to offend her sensibilities too much."

Raj smiled a little and shook his head. Then his smile faded and he sighed. "Daniel, I know it's hard right now," he said. "I know that this feels a lot like how it did when your father was in the hospital but we can't let the past make us give up hope for the future. Lucy will wake up. She will. I promise you she will."

"Uncle Raj... I don't like it when you make promises like that," he said quietly. "Those are promises that you can't be sure you can keep so I would prefer you just didn't."

"Alright, I'm sorry," Raj said. "I understand. I can't promise anything but I can tell you that I truly do believe that Poppy and Horace will come up with an antidote and fix all the children affected. I really do and I wish you did too."

"It's hard to hope for something when the last time you hoped for something similar it didn't happen," Daniel muttered.

"I know," Raj said with a sigh, putting his hand on Daniel's arm. "We'll get through this, Daniel. I know we will. We've gotten through it before and we'll do it again."

"I don't want to do it again!" Daniel exclaimed, tears filling his eyes. "It's not fair, Uncle Raj! I - I already did it once and it sucked and it almost killed me. I shouldn't have to do it again! I shouldn't have had to do it the first time."

"I know, you're right. It's not fair," Raj said with a sigh. "None of this is fair and I wish I could make it all better but I can't. No one can. What I can do is try to make it a little easier. Sometimes you need a break. It's understandable. You can't sit at her bedside twenty four seven, it'll drive you mad. I understand that. I think that's part of your's and Nina's problem right now. Why don't you two spend the night here in your room. Sleep on an actual bed, take care of yourself, and then tomorrow it might be a little easier to sit by her bedside and let her know that you believe she will get better."

"I - I wish I could just sit there all the time like Min but... I'm so tired, Uncle Raj. I'm just so tired of hospitals and hospital beds," he whispered. "I'm just so tired."

"I know. It's okay," he said. "To be honest, I don't think what Minerva is doing is very healthy. I think it's okay to need a break. Remember how much easier it became to come down to the hospital to see your father when school started again? When you had a distraction for a part of your day that forced you not to think about everything for a little while? Especially after the summer of constantly sitting by his bedside."

Daniel nodded a little bit. "You're right," he said softly. "You're always right."

Raj smiled. "Not always," he said, "but most of the time, yes."

Daniel laughed and shoved him a little. He wiped the tears from his face and sighed. "I don't really like it when you're right."

Raj laughed and stood up. He clapped Daniel on the shoulder and said, "go get some sleep, Daniel. I'll send Nina up as well."

"Thank you," he said, getting up too.

Raj smiled as he watched Daniel walk to his bedroom and close the door. He walked out of Minerva's private rooms and back down to the Hospital Wing. When he made it down there he saw that Amelia had also arrived now. He told Nina to go be with Daniel and then sat down at a chair beside the bed again.

Amelia was sitting on the opposite side as him and Minerva, right up next to the bed, putting a load of tiny braids in Lucy's hair. "Her hair is so long."

"Hates cutting it," Minerva said absentmindedly, not looking up from her papers. "Even a trim is a momentous occasion."

"She likes it long," Raj said with a smile. "Like Wonder Woman."

"Ah, I see," Amelia said with a smile as she put a small bead at the end of the braid she had just finished and started on a new one. "Wonder Woman does have beautiful hair from the photographs I've seen."

"She does," Raj said. "So, how was your day, Amelia?"

"Eh, busy, like always," she said. "Same old, same old. Alastor has warned me that I may get called in in the middle of the night again, however, as they're having another raid tonight so that's something to look forward too, I suppose..."

Raj smiled. "Yes," he said. "It sounds like you are very much looking forward to it."

"I don't have time for your sarcasm right now, Patil," she said.

"Oh, yes, I can see you're very busy right now."

"I am. These braids are not going to make themselves, now are they?"

"Couldn't they? You're a witch, are you not?"

Amelia gave him a look before looking back down and continuing her braid. "An important task such as this requires the graceful touch of a loving godmother," she said. "You wouldn't understand, of course, as you are neither graceful nor a godmother."

"Right," Raj said with a laugh.

"You two really need to get a room," Minerva muttered, still not looking up from her work.

Raj looked over at her for a second. He watched her write with her quill and, as soon as she lifted it up, he snatched the papers from the table in front of her. She looked up quickly and glared at him.

"Give them back, Raj," she said, holding out a hand expectantly.

"Nope, you have been working all day. You need a break," he said. "It's almost dinner time and your dearest friend is here. You should take a break." He looked at Amelia. "Oh, also, Amelia's here too."

Amelia gave him a look. "Since when have you become her dearest friend?"

"Raj, I have a lot of important work to do and I really don't have time -"

"I'm just asking for until after dinner," he said. "As soon as we finish eating you can have your papers back. Until then, give us the courtesy of your full, undivided attention."

Minerva glared at him. Her hand twitched for her wand and she went to pick it up when Amelia spoke. "Minerva, just humour him," she said. "It will be much less painful."

Minerva looked between them and shook her head. "You two don't understand," she mumbled, looking away. "You're here only about half the day. You don't understand. I need to keep doing work. I need to not think about what's happened to my baby for a little while. I need to focus on stopping the people who did this to her."

"This isn't healthy," Raj said. "You're going to work yourself to death. You need to take a break and relax. Maybe you should go take a nap as well. Have a House Elf pull out a cot for you and relax on an actual bed."

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "I can't leave. What if something happens? I can't leave."

Amelia sighed. She put a bead at the end of this braid as well. "I know it's hard, Minerva," she said softly, "but you're going to be no help to Lucy if you're not taking care of yourself."

Minerva had heard these words before. She pushed the table in front of her away and pulled her chair closer to the bed. She leaned forward and put her hand on Lucy's cheek as Amelia started another braid.

"I feel like I'm back at St. Mary's Hospital," Minerva mumbled.

Amelia sighed. "I know," she said. "She got better then and she'll get better now."

"It's different now," Minerva mumbled. It was so different now. She had much more support before. She wished it was more like then. She wished her husband was here. That's what she needed right now. That's who she needed right now.

Amelia sighed again. "Help me with these," she said. She picked up some beads and held them out for her. "It'll help take your mind off it."

Minerva looked at her for a second before sighing and taking the beads from her. She took a section of Lucy's hair and got to work. Amelia smiled before getting back to work on her own braid. She looked at Raj and gave him a smile.

"Would you like to help too, Raj?" she asked.

"I don't think so, Amelia," he said with a laugh and a shake of his head, tossing Minerva's papers back onto the table. "I would only mess up her hair. I've tried to do a braid in her hair before and we ended up needing to wait for Nina to come home and fix it for her before she would leave the house."

Amelia laughed. "Come here," she said, motioning him over. "I'll teach you. It'll be fine."

"Worse comes to worse, we can always just redo the ones you do," Minerva said with a small smile.

Raj gave her a look. He rolled his eyes but stood up and walked around the bed. He pulled a chair up beside Amelia. She sectioned off some hair for him and told him to divide it into three equal parts. She taught him how to braid by showing him hers. She laughed when he forgot which strand he had used last or chided him for not pulling tight enough.

"I am pulling tightly! I don't want to rip the hair right out of the girl's head!" he exclaimed making Minerva and Amelia laugh.

"You're not going to rip her hair out," Amelia said. "Just pull a little tighter so that you get a nice, smooth braid like this."

She showed him her braid so he could get the idea. He made a face and undid his braid so he could try again. Minerva smiled and brushed Lucy's hair out of her face.

"I wish you were awake to see your Uncle Raj get more and more frustrated with your hair," she said quietly. "I'll make sure he doesn't pull your hair out, don't worry."

Raj gave her a look and she laughed a little. He shook his head though he smiled a little bit. He was glad that Minerva was feeling a little better, he was glad that Amelia was here, and he was glad Daniel and Nina were getting a little bit of a break.

---

Friday, July 9th 1999

"You know it's alright to take a break every once in a while," Raj said, walking through the curtain around Lucy's bed and seeing Minerva sitting there all alone.

"I have a lot of work to do, Raj. I can't afford any breaks," Minerva replied, already sounding annoyed. If one more person came to her talking about breaks she was surely going to kill them. Or at the very least hex them.

"Not from work. From this," he said, motioning to Lucy's bed as he sat down in his usual chair beside hers. "Everyone else takes some time away to decompress every once in a while. You should do the same."

Minerva looked up at him and frowned. "Though you all may disagree," she muttered almost vemenously, "I do not consider my daughter a difficulty I need a break from."

Raj sighed as she turned back to her papers. "You know that's not what I'm saying," he said softly. "It's hard to sit here at her bedside constantly. It's okay to feel overwhelmed and decide to take a little bit of time just to let yourself organize your thoughts before coming back and sitting here again. Just like the first time, in St. Mary's."

"The fact that there have been multiple times is cruel."

"I know."

"I've been thinking about these things more and more lately," she mumbled, still looking down at her papers but quil no longer moving. "As the war got worse and worse."

"What things?" he asked, watching her carefully.

"Faith. God. Belief," she muttered. "Jay always said I had a lot of faith but now that I think back on it, I don't think I ever did."

"Wasn't your father a preacher?"

She looked up and gave him a look before sighing and shaking her head. "My father, though very good at making his congregants believe, was not very good at making his daughter believe."

"I realize I don't know much about your father."

"By design, I admit. I avoid talking about him as much as possible."

"I don't think anyone in your family really does," Raj said.

"He was not a very... warm man," she muttered. "Malcolm was his favourite, not that it mattered much. He still felt the same cold bluntness that the rest of us did."

"Why was he the favourite?" Raj asked.

Minerva shrugged. "Eldest son, I suppose," she said. "Then he chose a Muggle career and one of faith as well. That made Father very happy until he actually went to one of Malcolm's sermons. Malcolm is a lot more progressive and tolerant than he was. Father didn't like the ideas that he preached and he didn't hide his disappointment either. Again, very blunt."

Raj sighed.

"Robert and I were disappointments from the very beginning. First I was born a girl, the first horrible sin I committed."

"How horrible of you," Raj muttered.

"I know," she said. "Magic didn't help of course. It only made things worse. You should have seen the disappointed look that always came over his face whenever magic was mentioned. Mother and I are good at doing things the Muggle way because we couldn't do magic out in the open at home."

"Really?" Raj asked. "He didn't like magic?"

Minerva sighed. "He didn't like much of anything but, yes, magic especially. Thought it was abnormal. I remember him calling us freakish on multiple occasions," she said. "He wasn't the greatest man in general, honestly. I don't know why my mother stayed with him."

"I'm sorry I brought him up," he said.

"No, that's alright. You of all people would understand horrible fathers," Minerva said. "Though he wasn't that bad. He never threatened to hit any of us. He was just not a very happy person. He had a lot of hatred in his heart. For magic. For the world. For anyone who didn't think or look like he did." She looked over at Lucy and sighed, taking one of her hands in hers. "I don't think he would like the fact that I married Jay or that we had Lucy very much."

"Racist?"

"Definitely," Minerva muttered. "Racist, misogynist, overall angry person."

"Isobel is nothing like that," Raj said. "She's such a loving, compassionate person. She loved Jay and she loves Lucy and Daniel."

Minerva nodded. "She's almost his exact opposite," she said. "She's such a wonderful person. The strongest person I've ever known. I don't know why she stayed with him but she did. He didn't let her work despite all the job offers she got after she graduated Hogwarts. She had to lock her wand away under her bed and I had to help her cover up any of Malcolm or Robert's accidental magic when they were younger. I used to be so mad at her for making me do that. For putting that pressure on me. For crying when I got my Hogwarts letter, not because she was proud but, I thought, because she was jealous."

"Was she?"

"Maybe a little but I don't blame her anymore," Minerva said. "I think she was happy I was getting away from home. It was a toxic place to be for everyone. I honestly think that if it wasn't for the amount of love she had for everyone and everything Malcolm, Robert and I might have turned out like him."

"I can't imagine you being that bigoted," Raj said.

"Thank you," she said. "I hope I'm not like him."

"You're not," he said. He took her hand and gave it a little squeeze. "I know what it's like to have a shitty dad and question if you've accidentally turned out to be like him and I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are not like him."

Minerva smiled. "You're not like your father either," she said. "I can tell you that with absolute certainty as well."

He smiled and let go of her hand. He looked over at Lucy and sighed. "She wouldn't like this, you know," he said. "You working yourself to death like this."

"Oh, she wouldn't notice," Minerva said with a small smile, looking back at her daughter and running circles on the back of her hand with her thumb. "She would be much too busy playing with her friends to notice what I'm doing."

"That's not true she notices. She notices everything and she worried," he said. "She would want you to be okay. No matter what. She would want you to be okay."

"I'm okay, Raj. Really."

Raj sighed and watched her look back down at her papers. He watched her shuffle them into a neater pile for a second before he pulled a folded up magazine out of his back pocket. Transfigurations Today.

"Found this on your desk," he said, unfolding it to reveal a large story on Minerva and tossing it onto her table. "Do you read every article they write about you?"

Minerva gave him a look. "You found this in my rubbish bin."

"No, Isobel did. She said that she likes reading what they write about you," he said. "I asked to read it."

She picked it up and tossed it in the garbage under the bedside table. "They used to write things about my academic work," she mumbled. "Publish my papers and what not. Now it's just about my work in the war and on the Order."

"That's not a bad thing," Raj said. "You're doing so much good work. I'm glad people are appreciating it."

Minerva didn't say anything.

"Are you ever going to tell me what you got your Order of Merlin for?" Raj asked.

"Research I did on Human/Animal Transfigurations," she said without skipping a beat.

"No, your first class one," he said.

Minerva sighed and crossed her arms. "I don't like talking about that," she said quietly. "I've only told Jay, Amelia and Mother the actual story. The only other people who know are the ones who were there and Albus."

"It was an act of outstanding bravery wasn't it?" Raj said. "Isn't that a good thing?"

"It was an act that they defined as outstanding bravery," Minerva muttered. "I cannot say that I completely agree with that assessment." she sighed and looked down at Lucy. She reached out and took the girl's hand. "I will admit," she continued more quietly. "The reason I didn't tell Lucy my story when she asked wasn't because I was worried the Death Eaters would scare her. I didn't tell her, and I will probably never tell her, because I worry she'll be scared of me."

'I don't think that you have to worry about that," Raj said. "She's not scared of you. Nothing you could have done would scare her away from you."

Minerva didn't respond. She looked away and closed her eyes.

Raj sighed. "It's a war, Minerva," he said quietly. "People do thing during wartimes that they would never do usually. No one blames you for anything."

Minerva looked over at him for a second before looking away again quickly. She sighed. "A few months after war was declared, myself, Amelia, Alastor, Edgar Bones, Fleamont Potter, and Emmeline Vance were invited to Albus's office," she said quietly. "He told us how he did not believe that the Ministry was handling the threat of the Death Eaters well enough and had decided to create a group called the Order of the Phoenix. We were to be the first six members and would work closely with the Ministry to fight against the Death Eaters. I was the first to agree to join, I don't think Albus was very surprised. I joined without really thinking about the consequences. All of the things that would happen. All the things I would have to do. All the risk I was putting myself and my family in." She took a deep breath and looked down at Lucy, tears filling her eyes. "But I did. I joined. We all did, obviously. I did some field work for a few years after that but after what happened to get me my bloody Order of Merlin, I stopped. Now I do more background things." She looked at her papers and sighed. "All the background things."

"This isn't your fault," he said. "You did what you thought was right. You were just trying to do your part for your world."

"We were doing a raid," Minerva whispered. "It was myself, Frank Longbottom, Caradoc Dearborn, and Emmeline. It was supposed to be an easy in and out, a few Death Eaters but nothing we couldn't handle. Then we got ambushed. So many of them came flooding in. We got separated and I finally found my way to the exit when I realized they hadn't gotten out so I went back. They called that brave. Going back in. Ridiculous. Of course I would go back for them. I wasn't just going to leave them."

Raj smiled a little. "That is brave," he said. "I can't imagine how scary that must have been."

Minerva ignored him. "So I fought my way back to them," she said. "I took out thirteen Death Eaters. All without harming them too much. I finally found the room they were all fighting Death Eaters in. Caradoc was fighting a Death Eater when another came up behind him that he didn't notice. I quickly jumped in front of him before the Death Eater cast his curse and used a defense charm that shot whatever the curse was back at the caster. I didn't - I didn't know that he was going to send a... a Killing Curse."

Raj sighed. "You didn't kill anyone," he said. "You defended yourself."

"The curse bounced back and hit him," she said. "He fell but I didn't have time to react to it. I had to keep fighting. Our back up came to help us and we were able to capture a lot of the Death Eaters. It turned out to be a Death Eater stronghold and a very strategic win, apparently. We found plans that led to the fall of two other strongholds, which is why I got an Order of Merlin. When the fighting was finally over I went back to the boy. He was dead. I had killed him."

"You saved your friends."

Minerva quickly turned and glared at him. "I killed a boy," she said. "Not a man. A boy."

"Min, you -"

"Alexander Warren. That was his name. He was nineteen, just a few years older than Daniel," she said. "A previous student. Slytherin. Transfigurations was never his strong suit but he was very gifted in Charms."

"Minerva -"

"He had a mother. A father. Three younger sisters," Minerva continued, tears running down her cheeks. "And now he's gone. He's gone and he's not coming back and it's my fault."

Raj sighed. "It's not -"

"It is," she whispered. "I killed a nineteen year old boy and I got a stupid award for it. I'm a monster."

"No, you're not," he said. "You did what you had to do to survive and save everyone else. It's not your fault he shot that curse. What did Jay say when you told him?"

"The same things you're saying," she mumbled. "The same things Amelia, Mother, and Albus said."

"I can't imagine how hard that must have been but I can tell you that it's not your fault," Raj said quietly. "War is an awful thing that does horrible things to those who have to fight it. I don't think there's anything I can say to make you feel better but I can say that I don't think you're scary and I don't think Lucy would be scared of you."

Minerva took a deep breath and wiped her tears away quickly. She shook her head. "I'm okay," she whispered, shuffling her papers again. "I should get back to this. Daniel and Nina had another fight earlier today. Maybe you should go try to find them."

Raj sighed but got the hint that Minerva wanted to be alone right now. He got up and left the curtained off bed so she could have some space.

---

Author's Note:

It's been a while, hey! This chapter is pretty sad and quite long but I hope you enjoyed it! I love reading all your reviews, they make me happy! Please leave more!