July 26th

A long night's rest helped not only to calm Hermione following her intense session with Babajide Akingbade, but to also amplify the feeling of guilt she had at not being completely honest with Antonin. She was afraid that when he found out that Rodolphus was both alive and had recently come to visit her in the back garden that the consequences would not be good. Although he was most definitely the more levelheaded between the two of them, he still had a fiery temper that could be agitated with little provocation.

Based on the position of the sunlight streaming through her bedroom window, she knew that she'd been asleep most of the day. It was the early afternoon, long since past the time she should've gotten up. The house was quiet, too quiet. As much as she appreciated Antonin insisting that their son make as little noise as possible while his mother slept, she liked the sound of the two of them moving around her home. It was comforting to hear those sounds even if she didn't quite understand why that was.

Even with the potion and the long sleep, she was still exhausted. Not just in body, but also in her very soul. Keeping the facts of her sessions with Mr. Akingbade away from Antonin helped her to compartmentalize the truth. Now that he knew that Rodolphus was responsible for what was wrong in her mind, it was harder to ignore. She didn't know how she was going to tell Antonin everything. It was important, however, that she did. Once upon a time she hoped to make a fresh start with her husband, to try to see if there was anything worth salvaging in their marriage. Was this the chance for her to try again?

She didn't really know or understand what she wanted in life. Her needs used to be simple. Even in recent days she thought of nothing else but running away from the life she'd built, the family she'd been reluctant to start. Running away held all of the same attractions in one moment and then none in the next. Maybe it was finally time that she stopped running. All it did was make her exhausted and lost.

Her husband entered their bedroom shortly after she woke up. Somehow he always seemed to know when she was awake. Or, perhaps more likely, he kept to a strict schedule where he made certain to come upstairs to check on his wife every fifteen minutes. She knew without him even telling her that she'd scared him the night before. Never had he seen her so discomposed, so open and raw. He stood in the doorway, watching her for any sign that she was awake yet. It would've been easy to keep pretending that she was asleep just to delay the conversation that she knew they needed to have. When she rolled over onto her side and opened her eyes, he smiled.

"Did we make too much noise downstairs?"

"No, I couldn't even hear you."

"Good. Ollie was being a little vehement in his demand to be let outside."

She smiled. It was an argument they'd both been having with their son since the Dark Lord died. For the moment, he wasn't safe outside. Living amongst potential enemies in the village meant that they couldn't be certain that he wouldn't be harmed or kidnapped even in their own back garden. He was sure to grow up to be a very persuasive man. She teased him by telling him to consider studying wizarding law when he got older.

"We're going to have to let him out at some point. I think he's been very patient."

"I know. You both have been."

He crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed. The shifting of his features informed his wife that he was about to be serious. She moved to sit up with her back against the headboard. If their conversation was about to turn more intense, she wanted to be ready. Besides, she knew that she had to tell him the truth. Even one night keeping the full truth about Rodolphus from her husband was too long. She wasn't going to last much longer. Already the guilt was upsetting her stomach.

"I've been unbearable the last few weeks."

"Antonin…"

"No, don't deny it. I know that you're both frustrated with me keeping you stuck inside the house. I promise it'll only be for a little while longer. Once it settles down outside, we can reevaluate."

Pushing aside thoughts of Rodolphus for just a few moments, she wondered aloud what exactly was happening out there. Her husband told her nothing. Not even if he was in charge or not. She knew he had loyal friends who would always remain on his side, including up to the very moment of death, but was that enough? Did she have to worry that a day would come when he would leave the house one morning and never return? It was almost cruel to leave her out of the circle of knowledge. She was one who thrived on learning and knowing. Besides that, she had a son to think of. If Antonin was killed, she needed to be ready to disappear with her son. There was no potential future that she could imagine where those in charge would let her continue to live amongst them. And if she crossed Rodolphus' path again…

"You don't need to worry about any of that, Hermione. You and Ollie are safe."

"Maybe for now…"

She let the end of her statement hang in the air. Antonin knew just as well as she did that a world at war was unpredictable. As much as he might have believed they were safe, he couldn't predict the future, couldn't prepare for all possible variables. His overconfidence in his own abilities to keep his family out of danger was exactly why she needed to be honest.

"Rodolphus isn't dead, Antonin."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I've seen him."

The look of fear that she so rarely saw returned to his dark brown eyes. Only when he worried that his family was in jeopardy and he might be powerless to protect him did he look so panicked. She almost felt sorry for robbing him of his fantasy.

"When you ran away?"

"Yes, but he's also been here."

"What do you mean he's been 'here'?"

His voice turned icy cold. Because she only recently was even aware that there had ever been anything inappropriate between Rodolphus and her, she didn't know how much he suspected in the past. Considering he was always welcomed as a trusted friend, she assumed that Antonin didn't know, but the man she married was far from stupid. For one of the first times since returning to Hogsmeade, Hermione was frightened of her husband.

"The day before the Dark Lord's funeral, I saw him in the back garden."

"Why would he come here?"

"He wanted to know what you'd been doing since the Dark Lord died. Said that…"

Antonin held up his hand to interrupt. She knew that she wasn't going to like what came out of his mouth.

"Are you telling me that you lifted the wards so you could go outside to speak to him?"

"It was only for a few minutes."

He stood to his feet and began to pace the floor. Each time he started to say something, he stopped himself. Finally, he calmed down enough to trust himself to speak.

"You only left our home open and unprotected for a 'few minutes'. The home were our son was."

Even when she was meeting Rodolphus outside she had a bad feeling that what she was doing was dangerous and foolish. And that was before she knew he had a hand in her problems with her memory. She couldn't blame Antonin for getting angry. If the roles were reversed, she would be just as livid.

"What else did he do? Did he say something else? Why was he here?"

"I think he's the reason I got so confused during the funeral."

Antonin's eyes softened just the tiniest bit at her confession. It had been such an awful day. Both of them were frightened, unsure what caused her embarrassing episode in front of everyone who mattered in their society. Just as quickly as they softened, she witnessed them harden. He couldn't afford to let himself get emotional.

"I cannot believe that you would do something so foolish. Rodolphus cannot be trusted."

"I didn't realize that at the time. Before I started these sessions with Mr. Akingbade, I thought I could trust him. I had trusted him countless times before."

There was more truth that needed to be revealed whether she wanted to or not. For better or for worse, she'd chosen her husband's side. At least for the time being, unless he gave her a reason to leave again before their world was settled down, they would have to rely on each other. He deserved to know all of the ugly facts about what Rodolphus did to her over the years. What he was possibly still doing to her. He'd made a promise of unlocking her mind when he was ready. For all that she was aware, Rodolphus had some awful mission that she was going to be activated to complete. Perhaps he was the one responsible for reprogramming her and she didn't even know it.

She told him everything that she'd uncovered during her sessions with Mr. Akingbade. Every single disgusting, terrible truth. All of the kisses, the touches. Even the incident outside in the back garden during Oliver's eleventh birthday party. For one of the very first times in their entire marriage, she held nothing back. The details that she knew, he knew too.

He didn't say a single word as she described what she heard when she woke up in St. Mungo's spoken between Alecto and Rodolphus. Nor did he say anything when she told him about Edinburgh or the day she slapped him. As the weight lifted off of her shoulders as she unburdened herself, she watched it shift over on to his. Still he continued to say nothing.

"I'm scared that he's not done with me yet, Antonin. What if he comes back and tries to finish what he started?"

"Stay inside this house. If I even suspect that you've tampered with the wards and put my son in danger, I will throw you out and never let you back inside."

Speaking in hardly more than a whisper, she knew that he was serious. Perhaps more serious than he'd ever been in his entire life. He rushed from the room, giving her no explanation or indication of what his next moves were. Based on the determination on his face, she knew that he had a plan. A plan to do something that would probably get himself killed.

The sound of the front door slamming shut behind him could be heard all the way upstairs in their bedroom. She only hoped that wherever he went, he would be able to figure out a way to come back.