August 24th

It frustrated Hermione to no end that she had trouble falling asleep when she was alone in the bed she usually shared with her husband. When did that happen? Even before she ran off after nearly managing to kill him at their son's birthday for an entire year, she spent countless nights on her own, perfectly content to sleep without the sound of Antonin's steady breathing centimeters away. In fact, there were plenty of times that she knew she slept better because he wasn't even in the same house. Part of her wanted to get back to those days.

Well after midnight, probably closer to two in the morning, she still hadn't heard the squeaky front door open to admit the wretched man. She might have dozed off a time or two for a few minutes, but it certainly wasn't restful sleep. It was hard to even tell that she'd been asleep at all. Maybe she didn't have a job to go to the next morning, but it was the principle of the whole situation. Where was he? Why was he not at home? Or, their temporary home at least?

Punching her pillow in a futile attempt to find a more comfortable position that might allow her to finally relax, she cursed the man's name under her breath. Mostly because she could finally understand why he'd been so concerned about her running away again. Being on the other side wasn't fun at all. Always fearful that he was going to get himself into trouble or hurt. Worried that something catastrophic would happen to him before he found his way home. It was enough to drive a person mad.

Realizing that laying in bed wasn't going to help her relax at all, Hermione rose and crossed to the window. Moonlight lit up the countryside. It would be the Full Moon soon. Just days away. She wondered how Fenrir was faring. Months had passed since she'd had any contact with the werewolf. That was likely for the best. She could only imagine how uncomfortable Antonin's return visit to his cottage was days after he almost caught her tied up on his bedroom floor. Even if he was an ally they could rely on in the coming fight, she didn't think her husband would be interested in cultivating that relationship. Only in desperation would he seek out the werewolf for his assistance or ask his wife to do so on his behalf.

She hated to admit, even just to herself, that she was worried about Antonin. So much had changed between them. It might not be a forever plan to remain with him, but in the moment, she knew that he was her best chance at survival. Remembering that she'd seriously considered taking Rabastan up on his offer to join his faction made her physically sick to her stomach. What would that have actually entailed? Beyond betraying her husband when he wasn't the monster her sick mind made him out to be for years, such a decision would've put her on the same side as the horrible man who'd been manipulating her mind for years. And to what purpose? She still didn't understand the man's motivations.

The sound of the bedroom door being quietly pushed open roused Hermione from her worsening thoughts. She was thankful for the reason to stop thinking about the Lestrange brothers. Seeing Antonin over her shoulder slipping into their dark bedroom, the knot in her stomach began to untwist itself. At least for the present, for that moment in time, he wasn't harmed.

"Why are you still awake?"

There wasn't any anger in his voice, only concern. She moved across the room without giving him an explanation. Maybe their argument wasn't over yet, but for the briefest of seconds, she just wanted to relax. Wrapping her arms around his middle, she laid her head on his chest. He didn't push her away, only moved his arms around her back to return the affection.

"I can't sleep when you're not here."

Kissing the top of her head, he begged her to allow him the chance to take a quick shower before he crawled under the covers with her. It wasn't a difficult request to make. She understood all too well the desire to cleanse her own body when she'd been out in the world completing unpleasant tasks. Whatever kept him away from her, whether it was his anger and jealousy or his mysterious tasks to seek out more allies, he didn't want to bring that into bed with him. Sometimes she knew that they both refused to get into their marital bed without showering because they didn't want to bring the filth of their affairs with them.

She waited for him in bed, unafraid that she would fall asleep before he climbed in next to her. There was a conversation they needed to have. No matter what, she had to convince him once and for all that Augustus was not a rival. Not any longer. All she felt for the former Unspeakable was warm affection, not love. Her feelings for her husband, confusing and infuriating as they might be at times, were definitely more powerful than what she felt for her ex-lover. Maybe the tiny flicker had the chance to turn into a spark that fanned into a flame, but she couldn't see the future for certain. Her relationship with Augustus, however, she could see as being nothing more than a friendship.

Antonin made good on his promise to be quick in the shower. With his hair still dripping and his body steaming, he lifted the blankets on his side of the bed to slide in. She didn't wait for an invitation to lay her head against his chest. Not that she would've been denied. He was ready to open his arms when she moved.

"I was worried about you."

He kissed the top of her head. It wasn't a confession she'd been comfortable making even just a short time in the past. Their relationship was ever-evolving. It was the truth though. All day after her conversation with Oliver on the beach, she could think of nothing else but her husband. She hated how upset he'd been, especially since she couldn't even really understand why he was to begin with. Emotions were high in the safe house. Being in such close quarters with his oldest and most fierce rival for his wife's affections couldn't have been very easy. She would have to try harder not to lose her temper. What if the situation was reversed and she was forced to take refuge with Andromeda Tonks? She felt her lip curl up in disgust at the very thought and was almost grateful that she'd already dispatched of the woman.

"I'm sorry to worry you. I needed some time to calm down. I owe you an apology."

"Is the rest of our lives going to be the two of us exchanging apologies back and forth until we're dead?"

His chuckle made her smile.

"It's very likely. I suppose there are worse futures."

She hadn't meant to give him false hope, but at least for the short time they were in bed together talking, she allowed herself to imagine that she'd already made her decision. Imagining a future with Antonin didn't fill her with dread as it once did. They were both different people. Time and the fucking Lestranges changed them.

"I didn't mean to upset you, Antonin. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the one that should be sorry. I think we're all getting a little stir-crazy cooped up in this house. Maybe it would be easier if it was our own home."

"At least you've been able to get out. Where did you go?"

It also wasn't her intention to sound so petulant. Antonin released a deep sigh. She wondered if it would ever get easier for the two of them to talk about what was difficult. Some days she had hope that they could, others none at all.

"I've explained that I can't tell you where I've been going just yet, Hermione. It's too delicate of a process right now. When I can be sure that we have friends and allies who will help us, then I can tell you."

"So you weren't just escaping the house to get away from me?"

"Do you want me to tell you the truth?"

"Of course I do. I always want you to tell me the truth."

She could feel him staring down at her even in the darkness. Did he not believe her when she said that she wanted the truth? Their entire relationship, starting even before there was ever any indication that they would one day be married, had been filled with secrets and half-truths. In the past, it didn't frustrate her as much as it did in the present. For the most part, forgetting about the pesky Draco problem, she had been honest with him about everything. Sometimes even when it might have been better to keep a bit to herself. Antonin was seemingly desirous of them remaining together and having some sort of idyllic future together where they could behave like a normal married couple. How could that even be possible if they continued to lie to each other? She didn't want a life filled with secrecy any longer.

"Then yes, all right? I needed to get away from you. Just for a little while to calm down. I can't bloody think properly when you're around me, Hermione. I get so… it's not your fault. It's never been your fault how I act and feel around you and I'm not trying to blame you. I just… knowing that you are talking to Gus about his sex life of all things just makes me furious. Makes me wonder if I haven't been wasting my time."

"I don't know how many times I can tell you the same thing, Antonin, but there is nothing going on between Augie and me. Nothing."

He sighed again and rubbed his free hand over his face. Some of the tension that was present in his body began to lessen. She could feel the subtle change as he began to calm down.

"I know, darling. I know. In my head I know that you're telling me the truth, but it's not always easy to ignore that fear that you'll go back to him if he gave you the slightest encouragement."

Hermione leaned up on her elbow to meet her husband's face. The room was dark, but enough light came in through the window from the moon that their eyes were able to adjust in the darkness. She wanted to look at him while she repeated herself. Just so maybe he would finally believe her. She understood irrational jealousy all too well.

"If you must know, Augie has given me more than just slight encouragement. Not since we've been living here, mind you, but before. He begged me months ago to run away with him to France or to go just about anywhere else. Thought that we could finally be together. Do you know what I told him?"

Antonin frowned, embarrassed that they'd allowed their conversation to travel so far down the path neither of them wanted to go.

"I told him 'no'. Over and over again, I told him 'no'. Augie is not my future. He was a lovely and maddening part of my past. It was wrong of me to come back here when I was running. It gave him false hope and I never intended for him to think that there was something between us when there wasn't."

"We shouldn't have watched him that night with Alecto."

"No, we shouldn't have. You and I can definitely agree on that. I think it only inflamed your jealousy."

She settled back down against his side with her head on his chest. He tightened his arm around her back. What had seemed wrong in the moment didn't magically get better later. They would need to leave Augustus' house very soon. Too much longer there and it would just get worse. As appreciative as they both were to him offering his home for their refuge, it wasn't right to continue to take advantage.

"Is Augie really learning a lot from Alecto?"

"Yes, he is. She likes to talk when she's comfortable. He's been making a list of potential allies."

"How is it looking for us?"

"I won't lie to you. It's not looking good, but I'm not worried yet. Rabastan seems to have focused almost entirely on Death Eaters. He might have the bulk of those ready to join his side, but there are more people than just Death Eaters who have a reason to fight. We just need to expand our circle."

Mentioning the Resistance was on the tip of her tongue, but Hermione stopped herself. The Resistance loathed the very ground she walked on. Even after saving Aberforth Dumbledore from his torture and execution, she would never be trusted by that organization again. They wouldn't be willing to help, especially not if Antonin was involved. Old wounds were deep. As she drifted off to sleep in her husband's protective embrace, she tried not to worry about the future.